When I saw the number we'd reached, I thought let's have some fun. I guess many subjects that I've chosen to talk about in this piece are a tad dry. But the truth is life is fun and a bit of sexiness makes it even more fun. Now don't worry, this blog isn't going to be a discussion of the mechanics of such business. I'm not going to discuss my private life, as that is my business and it would probably be a bit dull. Sexuality and sexiness is a strange thing. It is something that the British seem to have a problem discussing in a sensible way. When I was at school and first started noticing girls, I was quite alarmed that I found that many of the girls I developed a crush on were not pretty in what seemed to be what we are lead to believe is a sexy way.
For people of my age in the UK, the first time I saw a mature womans breasts was on page three of The Sun. We'd look at the models and all go 'phwoar'. What really alarmed me was that I didn't really find the pictures attractive in any way. Even more alarming, was the women who were catching my eye and actually exciting me were a rather strange and mixed bunch. There was a scene where Catwoman tried to seduce Batman in the Adam West TV series that totally blew my mind. Nancy Sinatra singing "These Boots were made for walking" was another. What baffled me was why I found women with clothes on more interesting than the topless models on page three? I also realised that I'd be a very poor caped crusader, as I'd not have resisted Catwomans charms. Perhaps my biggest crush of the 1970's was when I saw Leslie Ash in Quadrophenia. I always get rather cross with Phil Daniels character for making love to her down a grotty alley. I felt such a beauty deserved a better spot for such attention.
Luckily for me, my late teens coincided with Punk Rock and for a glorious couple of years, the stereotypical 'sexy' look and behaviour went out of fashion. Now it would be ridiculous to claim that Debbie Harry isn't sexy and beautiful in a classical way, but as lead singer of Blondie, Debbie Harry never performed semi naked. She did it without getting her kit off. Sadly (IMHO), the heir to her mantle, Madonna was the opposite. Nothing was too overtly sexual for her. And none of it was in the least bit interesting to me.
When I actually started dating girls and having relationships, I found that I have always instantly clicked with people from the first second I met them. I may be wrong, but I don't think any of the girls I met were dressed in a sexually provocative manner when I met them. To me, they were all hugely attractive and sexy, but in my head, they were like a wonderful Xmas present, to be unwarapped and savoured at a time when it was appropriate.
I have thought about this long and hard. I suspect that what really is sexy for me is the fact that there will be a pleasant surprise for me somewhere down the line. One of the features of Twitter/X is that hardcore porn is there for whoever wants it (or often who doesn't). Over the years, on many occasions, attractive women have followed me, sent me inviting DM's and when I've looked at their feed, it is full of close up pictures of their private parts. I really don't find such things attractive when I see them on social media. In fact, I have often thought, I thought she was really pretty until I saw that picture. I nearly always check out people who follow me and generally block such accounts, as I don't want that on my feed. There was one account, who followed me after a music post, and she posted quite interesting stuff about music and it was only when I followed her and intimate photos started popping up on my feed that I realised she was selling porn on Only fans as well as posting about punk rock. What was strange to me was that the music stuff was interesting, informative and witty and the posts trying to sell porn simply felt a little forced and uncomfortable. I was tempted to ping her and suggest she had two accounts, as I was sure that many people like me, who would happily interact with the music posts, didn't want to see the porn posts. I found it all a bit sad and stopped following her. Occasionally, she still comments on my music posts and I feel a bit sad about the whole thing.
The thing that I can't get my head around is that for me, the sexual element of my life has been a lot of fun, but it seems that there is nothing fun about the porn industry. As for the music industry, it seems to me that requirement for female artist to dress and act provocatively is hugely detrimental to their artistic creativity. My favourite female artists, Patti Smith, Poly Styrene, Carrol Thompson, Dawn Penn, Aretha Franklin, etc made/make great music without that distraction. So what I am really saying here is that I think sexiness is a great thing. I love films with sexy moments, I love songs with sexy subject matter when done properly, but when it is overdone and completely in your face, with no subtlety at all it ends up being the opposite of what it should be and is just a bit off putting.
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I'll leave it here with a clip of Venessa Sagoe singing "When a man loves a woman" with The False Dots in 1984. I think this exemplifies what female singers should be doing IMHO!
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