Showing posts with label Linda Edwards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Linda Edwards. Show all posts

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Mosaic “Peace Tree” Competition for London Borough of Barnet Community - Guest blog by Linda Edwards



 By Linda Edwards

Larches Community, celebrating 20 years of service to people with learning disabilities and/or autism in the Borough of Barnet, has created a spectacular mosaic “Peace Tree”.  


Through a series of workshops where people of all faiths, all abilities and across generations and ethnicities have designed and created the most amazing mosaic ‘Peace Tree’ for public installation somewhere in London Borough of Barnet.   “This has been a unique and innovative approach to building community cohesion” Linda Edwards CEO Larches Community.

Participants learnt the techniques of mosaics and made symbolic fruit, flowers, animals, birds and flowers that have been assembled around a spectacular ‘Peace Tree”. “The design of the mosaic specifically mixed colour and shape together to identify how diversity can be combined into a cohesive whole.” said Naomi Selig, mosaic artist facilitating the workshops. 

We are offering the ‘Peace Tree’ mosaic (4 metres wide and 1.5 metres high) to an organisation, business or similar in London Borough of Barnet for a period of up to 18 months. 

To have the opportunity to showcase this magnificent piece of art, please write one paragraph how the community of London Borough of Barnet would benefit from your business/organisation by showcasing our ‘Peace Tree’ mosaic and send to:
Subject ‘Mosaic Community Competition’

With best wishes

Linda Edwards
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linda Edwards is a charity worker and disabled rights campaigner who lives and works in the London Borough of Barnet. Guest blogs are always welcome at The Barnet Eye

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Guest Blogs - Don't forget carers at Christmas by Linda Edwards

By Linda Edwards

At the age of 90 years my mother has recently moved into a third care home.  Below is a copy of our Festive Greetings to the care staff and management of mum's new care home.  I share this with you because carers are so often not valued by their management and at last we have found a care home that respects, values, cares for and about their staff and residents.

 Dear Friend

 I write to you as a 'friend' because each and every one of you have demonstrated many of the virtues and attributes of friendship towards my mother in her 'winter' years.  

 Mum has not been used to enough kindness in her life time and each time you have had a connection with her, you have demonstrated kindness, gentleness, compassion, caring and love.  Whether this has been through personal care, feeding, emptying a bin, making her bed, cleaning, chatting or greeting her family so that we may enjoy a happy visit.   

 I have always experienced positive and proactive communication within your working 'family'.  This culture is so rare for vulnerable people and I feel so grateful to have you in my mother's life.    I believe you have the most precious and privileged job in the world.   The responsibility of how you fulfil your responsibility is dependent on management and on your own integrity, conscience and commitment to making vulnerable people's lives the best it can be.

 At this time of year when many of you are caring for other people's family and many miles away from your own family, I send you my love and appreciation.  I truly value the love, care, compassion and kindness you have shown to mum and that I see you give to other residents.

 Thank you all.

 With love
 linda edwards
 xxxxx
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Linda Edwards has been a family carer and involved in the social care system most of her adult life.  She has experienced the best and worst in caring, compassion, empathy, competence and integrity for vulnerable people.  Most often, bad practice has arisen from bad management where there is a culture of fear, secretiveness, mistrust and defensiveness.  This culture results in carers feeling devalued, often dehumanised and in turn, translates to vulnerable people being ignored, neglected and uncared for.   

 Whilst exposing bad practice, we need to celebrate good management and care. Please celebrate with us in acknowledging and thanking everyone we meet who is giving care to vulnerable people.  We too are very likely to be recipients of social care in the future.

GUEST BLOGS are always welcome at The Barnet Eye, use the link to our email address in the sidebar to send them to us.

Tuesday, 9 December 2014

The Barnet Eye Advent Calendar - Tuesday 9th December

So here we are on the ninth day of Advent. I must say how thrilled I am with the response to this series of blogs. I'm often stopped by locals in Mill Hill as I'm shopping or getting the train, who like to discuss the subjects of the week. I had wondered how this series would be received, with its format of a video or topic of interest and a plug for a local charity. Everyone who I've spoken to has mentioned that it is great to have these jewels of local history highlighted. I've also had a good response to the highlighting of local charities. I shouldn't have any trouble finding the 25 we need to fill the calendar, 'm nearly there just on your suggestions. Thank you

Today our focus is on Edgware. Both of these topics are close to my heart. First we have a Pathe Video of the openiong of the old Ritz cinema in Edgware. In my day it was the Odeon. I hadn't realiseed until I saw this just what an amazing opening the cinema had. The scenes of Edgware are amazing. It is sad that the cinema was redeveloped not too long ago. I hadn't realied just how magnificent a building it really was!



And for todays Charity we have another Edgware gem. The Larches Trust - http://www.larchescommunity.org.uk/index.htm - this is what they do

The Larches Community is a registered charity established in 1995 by a group of families to create opportunities for young people and adults with learning disabilities and/or autism and Asperger’s Syndrome irrespective of faith.



Education and Training: To increase the skills base of young people and adults with learning disabilities through education and training so that they can enjoy greater independence in their lives.
Social and Recreational: To increase the quality of life of young people and adults with learning disabilities through social and recreational activities.
Social Enterprise: To become increasingly financially independent as an organisation by developing social enterprises and micro businesses.
Supported Living: To give people with learning disabilities the opportunity to live independent lives in the heart of the community by establishing supported living homes.
Community Inclusion: To combat prejudice within the mainstream community by increasing understanding of learning disabilities and autism.  

The Larches is not only a great charity but its Chief Executive Linda Edwards MBE is a great friend of this blog. She has written many guest blogs and is a lovely person to boot. She is a true inspiration.

If you have any spare pennies or have some time or skills you can give to help, please consider getting in touch with them.

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Guest Blog - The strangest thing in Barnet is the way we treat our vulnerable people by Linda Edwards

By Linda Edwards,

My response to your request Barnet Eye Saturday 15th March 2014 --- "What is the strangest thing you've seen in the London Borough of Barnet?"  My one caveat is that whilst this may happen in Barnet, these issues are now endemic in our society.

1. People being 'demoted' because they work with commitment, compassion and love with vulnerable elderly people who are suffering from Dementia and double incontinence in the last days of their lives.

2.  People being 'demoted' because they work with commitment, compassion and love with people who have learning disabilities.

The status of staff working with the above groups is so low because they are working with vulnerable people whose status is even lower.

Until we honour and value all vulnerable groups in society and adhere to the Equality Act 2010 with intention and integrity of putting respect and dignity into practise in everything we write and speak, we will continue to demoralise the people who work with our children, our parents and one day, ourselves! 

3. Managers on huge salaries, who are continually being promoted for having teams of people to research and prepare reports in response to Government communications that neither the team or reports make much contribution or difference to humanity. 

My next contribution to this list has been written by Andy Bradley, a friend of mine and your friend too:

4. People Die when they Shouldn't!

I will be brief, because I know that if you read this blog you are busy, and you are probably like me, unsettled.

But most of you are not nearly as unsettled as Sara and Rich.

Because most of you don’t have a son who died in the bath when he should have been safe, when people were being paid to care for him. I am like most of you, my son is alive – he is in Australia with his girlfriend, on the beach, looking forward to going to university and to meeting up with his mates for a some beers when he gets back to Brighton, and I am looking forward to a hug and a chat and a game of snooker. But Sara and Rich cannot hug LB (aka The Dude) anymore because he is dead.

And this is a problem for all of us – because if we don’t get our act together there will be more sons and daughters and mothers and fathers who die when they shouldn’t.

Ask James Titcombe, or Julie Bailey or Deb Hazeldine – because they know how it is to live with this loss, this avoidable loss, this should never have happened loss.

Ask Kay Sheldon or Dr Kim Holt about how defensive and toxic the culture can be when things go terribly wrong. Ask any whistleblower about how the system responds when it is confronted by what may be deeply uncomfortable truths. Ask Margaret Flynn whose professional life is dedicated to the families of people at Winterbourne View and now South Wales where more has gone terribly wrong, where values have broken down and profit and greed has ruined more lives.

I am known for making a bold claim – that we can build a compassion legacy in which my children and my childrens children will be safe and will be met with kindness when they are vulnerable.

This week some women in London who are all senior leaders made me believe deep down that we can make a difference.

They are women of integrity and character. Not the kind of leaders who defend the indefensible.

They are standing for

Courage

Compassion

Accountability

To keep people in health and social care safe.

Lets get busy – lets at the very least make the deaths and the suffering of the families mean something.

Andy

LB, a fit and healthy, quirky, remarkable, self assured and beyond loved 18 year old entered an NHS hospital nearly a year ago now and died. Through proven neglect.

If LB hadn’t been learning disabled, his death would have provoked instantaneous outrage and engagement.

LB should not have drowned in a bath in a hospital. In a unit with four ‘specialist’ staff and five patients.   Full story read:
http://mydaftlife.wordpress.com/
Linda Edwards
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Guest Blogs are always welcome at the Barnet Eye

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

2013 - The year in blogs

Picture of the year - Cornelius Signs Capita Contract Unread
When I started to write my retrospective blog of the year, I struggled. As a naturally positive person, I look back on 2013 as a year when many bad things happened in Barnet.

As I looked at all of the blogs posted, I realised that this blog has told a fascinating story. Perhaps the most interesting aspect was the way a team of guest bloggers have given a narrative to the issues which have been of local and national concern. I think that these guest writers tell a far more interesting story about Barnet and the UK than anything I've written. So this review is in two parts. My favourite personal blogs, which tell my story. I hope this isn't being narcassistic, it just seemed to me that these were actually the most interesting things I wrote. The second part is a month by month selection of the best guest blogs. These provide a commentary on the stories in local and national news. The format limited the contributions - One per month. This meant that whilst December when there were lots, I could only feature one, wheras in September there were none. Rereading all of them, I can only thank my contributors for their efforts and the quality of the their work. I have chosen not to put a commentary on, as one of the terms of doing a guest blog is that I don't put my spin on it. I hope you enjoy this.

Here are my favourite blogs

January - Rog T's Cancer Blog - My Bucket List -  I revealed my teenage bucket list and my desires, fulfilled and unfulfilled. I note that a year later I still haven't fulfilled number 10 on the list. To watch the sun set on the Millfields whilst eating a tin of Pineapple chunks. Maybe today I will tick that one off. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/rog-ts-cancer-blog-my-bucket-list.html

February - The Saturday List #34 - My top ten juke box tracks  I think this is a great blog. Strangely enough, I got the list wrong. I omitted Rebel Rebel by David Bowie. There is no greater thrill in the world than putting that track on the Juke Box and giving the one you love (or fancy) a great big kiss as Bowie sings "Hot Tramp I love you so". http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/the-saturday-list-34-my-top-ten-juke.html

March - Dyselxia blog - English as a foreign language  If you could change one thing in your life and restart it from that point, what would it be? After some analysis, nothing I'd stick with dyslexia http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/dyselxia-blog-english-as-foreign.html

April - What really matters in Barnet?  If you want to know why I write the Barnet Eye blog, read this. It sums up what I care about and where I find the energy to write a blog every day. I have tried to pick positive and upbeat blogs for this selection, but there really was nothing in April that warranted inclusion in this list that was in any way happy or uplifting. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/what-really-matters-in-barnet.html

May - Is football run by morons?  A short blog that summed up my disgust at the way the Premier League football clubs conduct their business. At the time I thought I may be falling out of love with football. What a difference six months makes. We are halfway through the most exciting season for years. Half the teams in the Premiership (almost) could conceivably win the league and half almost might get relegated. Despite all of the chaos, it is great. back in the 1980's there was a famous series in the Judge Dredd strip in 2000AD, where an Urang Otang called Dave was elected to be Mayor of Megacity 1. Despite all of the dire predictions, he was the best Mayor ever, because he was uncorruptable. You can guess how the story ended. It reminded me of what happens at Chelsea. The less of a coherent plan they have for the future, the better they seem to do. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/is-football-run-by-morons.html

June - "One day, you will be sorry for what you've done"  What will we think when the timer runs out of sand. The questions we will ask ourselves. What will we have achieved? Pretty much sums up my views on the world. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/one-day-you-will-be-sorry-for-what.html

July - Mother - Sister - The death of an encumberance?  Human nature and the two sides of grief. A funeral recalled and what we really think http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/mother-sister-death-of-encumberance.html

August - Despite everything, Mill Hill is a great place to live !  A little blog describing the things I love about living in Mill Hill and how I spend my days. The things we love are often the simple things http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/despite-everything-mill-hill-is-great.html

September - Sunday Morning youth football - A joy to behold, so don't make the kids play in your rubbish   One of my greatest joys is watching mys on play football for his team Watling Youth FC under 14. A blog about the joys of being a "football Dad" and a plea for the residents of Barnet not to use our parks as a dumping ground. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/sunday-morning-youth-football-joy-to.html

October - Just say Yes !  A little rant about the negative messages we bombard our teenagers with. We are squeezing teenagers like never before. Tuition fees, closure of facilities, bombardment with tests and exams. I am glad I grew up in teh 60's & 70's. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/just-say-yes.html

November - Remembrance Sunday  My remembrance day blog is always one of my favourite blogs of the year. It is important for us to remember. My father flew a Wellington bomber with 40 squardron during the second world war. He was shot down over Bucharest in Romania, whilst bombing oilfields in Ploesti. His rear gunner, F/O Andrew Murphy was killed during the engagement and is buried in a war grave in Bucharest. I believe it is the least I can do to remember his sacrifice. http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/remembrance-sunday.html

December  - The Baby Jesus was an Asylum Seeker  Yeah, I know it was only yesterday, but I think this was a great blog! http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-baby-jesus-was-asylum-seeker.html

And here is the pick of the Guest blogs.

January

GUEST BLOG – EQUALITY IMPACT ASSESSMENTS - By Dr Julia Hines



February

Guest Blog - Maria Nash is being victimised - A response by Linda Edwards



March

Guest Blog - Barnet Spring March Saturday 23/03/2013 - By John Sullivan


April

Guest blog - The Big Con of “being in the community” - The Latest Endemic National Institutional Practice - By Linda Edwards MBE



May

Guest blog - The Silence of the Lambs - by Dr Julia Hines



June

Guest Blog - Richard Cornelius in the Press - A response, by John Sullivan



July

Guest Blog - Another Barnet Council Outsourcing Disaster - By Andrew Dismore




August

Guest Blog - Richard Dawkins - Hardline religious fundamentalist? - A response by Andrew Evans




October

Guest Blog - Welcome to the legal block! If we stick together, we can't be fracked! - By Scarlett Cannon




November

Guest Blog - Kicked in the stomach - By A.M Poppy



December

Your Choice Barnet Week - Day 1 - The LIE That Is Your Choice Barnet - Guest blog by John Sullivan http://barneteye.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/your-choice-barnet-week-day-1-lie-that.html


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barring accidents and major news stories, that's it folks for 2014. Many thanks for your support. This year we passed a million hits. I never imagined when I started that I'd get a thousand, let alone a million hits. I hope I have repaid your faith in this blog.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Your Choice Barnet Week - Care, Compassion, Choice and Quality of Life for Disabled People and Family Carers - Guest blog by Linda Edwards

Linda receives her MBE with Rachel
By Linda Edwards MBE,

Having been invited to contribute an article to The Barnet Eye "Your Choice Barnet" (YCB) week, I felt unable to write. What could I say when I have no personal experience of YCB?  However, I do have experience of care, compassion, choice and quality of life for disabled people and their family-carers.

I struggled to search for a connection, something inspiring to link what is being proposed by YCB to my daughter's experience in the "care industry".  I realised that what is being reported resembles the many years Rachel, my learning-disabled daughter, who is also on the autistic spectrum, became a commodity instead of a human being.

Rachel’s previous service providers, including Barnet In House Supported Living, made her depressed, institutionalised and compliant.  Pavlov's dogs had a better experience than my daughter, whose only way of survival was to be "a good girl"!  She was put at risk, neglected and taught to operate by automation and fear rather than encouraged to use her own thought processes and abilities.

From 2007 Rachel had been telling Barnet In House Supported Living Service and the bullying service provider later commissioned by LBB Health and Social Care, that she “needs her routine". When staff didn't arrive or were late, she would scream "They've let me down again.”  “They're confusing me.”  “They mess my head up."  Now how clear was that? 

Yet, Kate Kennally, now Director of People, and Amanda Jackson, then employed by YCB and now departed to Hillingdon Borough, refused to remove this bullying service provider. Neither of them were interested in listening to Rachel or giving her any choice.  Her quality of life was dismal, institutional and she lived in fear of the continual incidents created by staff putting their own needs first because they were not supported appropriately by their managers. When her behavior demonstrated she was depressed and miserable, she was referred to a psychiatrist!

In the past 15 months Rachel has been with a new service provider and at last, for the first time in her life, she has begun to live as a human being.  This is because…. she is now being treated as a human being. 

It is not always easy for her, especially because of the many years of institutionalised  service provider culture, conditioning, being controlled, neglected, told what to do, what to say and how to ‘people please’ – she is now learning there is another way.  Now she not only has my encouragement to make real life and informed choices for herself, she also has the support and encouragement of Susan, her new Supported Living Manager, and her staff team. They communicate, listen and hear what Rachel needs and wants; they work in partnership with me and demonstrate that they actually care. Together we celebrate Rachel's "Magic Moments” and she is so proud of her own achievements in her new life. 

What family carers need to see in a service is that their disabled child’s physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met.   They need to see their child is valued by everyone and fulfilled in doing and being the best he/she can be.

·         Rachel has begun to value herself because she is valued.

·         She has begun to believe in herself because all around her believe in her too.

·         The more responsibility, encouragement and autonomy they give her, the more she thrives and soars. 

Susan is a firm and fair manager with old-fashioned values. It is so easy to respect her because she is proactive in managing issues and has never been defensive - this is a complete contrast from the two previous service provider managers who always blamed me for whatever went wrong under their responsibility.  Susan’s genuine desire to ensure the best for all the people who are her responsibility and her truly person centred approach is awesome to me. I welcome her advice because it comes from an empathic, compassionate and genuine heart.  I promised the organisation 16 months ago that I would either be their best ally or the parent from hell!  It is such a relief to work in partnership with Rachel’s service manager, who shares humanity and humility with Rachel. 

Now we need to ensure all vulnerable people have the same respect and esteem from our community, and especially from the people who are responsible for commissioning and providing services.

Experience has taught me that a service for vulnerable people is only as good as the people working within that service.  This includes senior managers who are role models for the culture of the organisation, crucial for ensuring the organisation is fulfilling its lawful obligations and ensuring staff working with vulnerable people are given appropriate support, training and encouragement.  Managers have to ensure they create the best teams possible to value each individual for their own unique gifts, talents and skills.  This costs no money but only happens when an organistion is healthy and holistic and has a clear intention to put into practice everything they say and write.  Once an organisation becomes contaminated with a culture of bullying, scapegoating, devaluing, shaming and blaming everyone is engulfed in fear.  Fear ensures that communication becomes oppressive and defensive and so the culture continues to be contaminated. Fear prevents fun, creativity, compassion and healthy and equality based relationships.  We must address the current disharmony and fear for so many disabled families in the London Borough of Barnet and celebrate decent values and practices that put the disabled family in the centre of all decisions.

The Staff item of a budget is usually the most costly item of any service so it is easiest to cut this part of the budget first.  Sometimes it is necessary.  Indeed, sometimes it is essential.  Staff working with vulnerable people whose crucial role it is to create a relationship of trust and respect, reliability and consistency must not be preoccupied with worry about their own working conditions.   It is essential that people working with vulnerable people, feel valued and respected by their management so they are not overburdened with their own survival needs. Their presence needs to be available, open hearted and present to the people they are with.  How many times have you been with someone who you know is not present with you?  How did it make you feel? Disabled and elderly people know whether someone is present with them and will feel, respond and react accordingly. 

Rachel was my inspiration for creating Larches Community with £50 in our home.  Now hundreds, possibly thousands, of disabled people living in the London Borough of Barnet have benefited. Rachel and her peers have been my teachers; leading, advising and showing us what they need to have for the quality of life they deserve.

Will YCB provide this? I would like to hope so.  From some of the things I have read and heard it feels like we are going back less than 100 years ago to when disabled children were thought of as uneducable. 

What appears to be happening with YCB shows much the same culture as when disabled people were dumped into large hospitals, living an institutional life and treated as a commodity.  It doesn't help those violated people that we now know better and that what was done to them was as a result of ignorance. 

We are enlightened now.   London Borough of Barnet employ (directly or indirectly) highly paid directors and managers of Adult Social Care and Health who well know the legislation, government requirements, what constitutes good practice and what ensures people have a good quality of life.  As Kate Kennally ignored my daughter’s pleas to remove the oppressive regime that was making her depressed and repressed, are they so far removed from the vulnerable people they are employed to serve that they ignore what they now know?  This is far worse than 100 years ago, when there was ignorance, because now we know, and we appear to be ignoring what we know!

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
 George Santayana, Spanish philosopher

What sins are we committing when we can remember but ignore the past?  What would it take for the London Borough of Barnet to demonstrate that providing care and services requires more than what appears to be proposed by YCB? 

Simplicity!
Phase 1. Draw a circle and place in the centre the people and stakeholders concerned: people with learning and physical disabilities, the Local Authority Trading Company, family-carers, professional carers, significant others.

Phase 2. In columns around the circle list:
·         What is needed: be specific – aim to write millions of needs (“blue skies”) and later reduce.
·         How can we meet those needs? Again, think (“blue skies”) in and out of the box.
·         Who is going to take responsibility? A truly joint partnership using everyone's gifts, skills and talents is possible with open hearts and intention.
·         By when? Phases need to have time lines.
·         What else do we need to make the above happen? Resources, finance, etc.

Phase 3.  Action – putting this into practice.

Phase 4.  Evaluation and Monitoring – this must be done with integrity and involve everyone, including……… people who are dissatisfied with some or all of the service.

Integrity Action was founded in 2003 and views integrity as “The set of characteristics that improves trustworthiness to stakeholders.  Without integrity, measures to safeguard human rights, protect the environment, strengthen democracy, promote social equity and reduce poverty are compromised. In the absence of integrity the corrupt flourish.”  Their vision is “….For a just and equitable world, where citizens are empowered and integrity is central to vibrant societies.”

Their Mission is to empower citizens to act with and demand integrity.  They actively take part in building institutions to promote a state that is open, accountable and responsive to their needs and expectations.


Their approach in institutionalising integrity requires the alignment of four factors:

 • Accountability: Enabling stakeholders to check that we do what we say we do
 • Competence: Doing it well
 • Core values: Doing it with honour
 • Corruption control: Doing it without corruption

Integrity Action’s approach to integrity is this formula:
Integrity = Accountability + Competence + Ethics - corruption
http://www.integrityaction.org/what-integrity#sthash.AzYEBK2z.dpuf

Recently Larches Community was invited to participate in the annual Learning Disability Today Exhibition at Olympia together with Frameworks4Change. This is a sharing of a "Magic Moment" I feel so privileged to have experienced; something that has been in my heart since that day knowing that it is this kind of spiritual experience that makes many of us get out of bed in the morning. For me, this story makes all the Larches Community cashflow sleepless nights worth every anxious moment.

"John" is completely dependent for all his needs on his care staff. Throughout the day he uses a chair and is fed through tubes. We have been told that his only communication is spitting and that staff prefer not to work with him.  At the Larches Community we don’t always believe what we are told and our biggest knowledge about the person is gleaned by watching, observing, reflecting, asking and just being with the person!  Whilst his staff clearly enjoy being connected to people, they don't seem to believe that he does - we often see John and his chair facing the wall in the opposite way to people and activities.  John seems to enjoy his day with us at Larches Community Programme, especially activities with music.

"The longest journey is from the head to the heart" Carl Jung
We had a soul-searching dilemma about how to travel to the Exhibition.  We could have gone in one or two mini buses at very little cost and John would have travelled by mini cab with his own staff. This would have been a sensible ‘head’ decision.  However, we made a 'heart' decision to search for a coach that could remove rows of seats to accommodate John so we could all go together. Inclusive means All!  This cost us several hundreds of pounds that we didn't have a budget for and I am still explaining!

We participated in the Compassion discussion group led by Frameworks4Change. We were in a circle facing the centre and each other. Again, John was placed facing the wall.  I gently turned John’s his chair around so that he could face the group and Francis, who was facilitating our group.

Throughout the session John made noises. Each time Francis stopped talking and acknowledged John's contribution. We couldn't have known what John was communicating with us.  Did he feel a part of the group? It was only after reflecting much later that I thought this might have been a rare experience for him to be acknowledged, honoured and valued for who he is – as Francis had done when he stopped talking to acknowledge John's contribution.  I truly treasure how Francis was a role model to us and how we have all learnt another way of being. He broke boundaries to allow and encourage John to speak whenever anyone else was talking.

At the beginning of the day John’s carer had been irritable and preoccupied.  Throughout the morning Charlie, one of our trustees, supported John's carer by chatting and encouraging. Later, I checked with Charlie to make sure he was surviving with what felt like considerable negativity.  We shared the thought that we could have removed this carer because of her attitude and behaviour towards John.  Charlie was on an unspoken mission to help her demonstrate her compassion and heart towards John and nothing was going to beat Charlie!  We both knew the carers gifts were available, but not yet present.  I really wasn’t sure that Charlie had sufficient time in a short day!

Later, during the Compassion discussion, John's carer spoke about how she feels valued at Larches Community, how we come into the hall and say "Hello" to her, ask her how she is and chat about little things. How she often doesn’t feel valued in this way. What is this lack of value towards carers doing to vulnerable people? 

On the coach my colleague thanked everyone for representing Larches Community and hoped that we had all enjoyed the day. John made a noise.  We looked at John and saw his hands had gone up and he was smiling. Everyone clapped. We hadn't noticed any spitting throughout the day. Why would John need to communicate in this way when he had been validated, listened to, respected and accepted?

We chatted to John's carer again and discussed how this was probably the first time John has gone to an exhibition and been acknowledged and validated for his unique contribution. We asked John’s carer to acknowledge her part in making John's day so meaningful. She beamed and became animated.

I hope that this story warms your soul too. You could ask: What use is John to society?  He can't walk, or talk or eat or look after his bodily functions and, yes, John costs money that we have to find in order that we may own we are a civil, caring and compassionate society! 

John is someone's child and brother.  In some cultures, he is everyone’s child. 

In that one day, John’s presence taught us that even simple things like belonging, experiencing the leader stop to acknowledge him and responding respectfully to his contribution had been felt deeply.  This was an amazing and wonderful experience and I feel so humbled to have been part of John's life and the group for that day.  It took integrity, intention, passion, love and compassion and was possible only because we ourselves feel valued and valued each other.  It cost us absolutely nothing else other than an expensive accessible coach!

At Larches Community we plough spare money back into services to benefit disabled people. This was our commitment when creating Larches in 1995 in my home with £50.00 and we haven't deviated from putting disabled people at the heart of everything we do. Larches Community staff have not had a salary increase since 2010 and the price of our courses remains well below the actual cost of providing experienced sessional workers whose expertise we cherish and value. 

 A quality service does not have to cost more money. At the end of last term one of our tutors asked if we had a budget to go to one of the three coffee shops in Edgware (some would call this “out and about in the community”). The cost would have been approximately £50.00. The service users would have had the experience of drinking in a coffee shop – so what?  Instead they invited their families to the last session and we all made bath salts and shared homemade cake and tea made by our learners. Such delight with everyone choosing which colour bath salts they made for themselves and another person, and working in collaboration and comradeship with each other. 

Costs are always an issue when discussing care and services, and there is something everyone seems to have forgotten.  There is no legal obligation for parents to provide housing to their adult children over the age of 18 years. Has anyone worked out how much it would cost government and local authorities if parents refused to have their disabled adult children live with them providing 24/7 care? We must acknowledge that these families are 'on duty', with love, even when their adult children are using services.  Has anyone worked out how much family-carers are saving local authorities with their dedication and lifelong commitment?

·         When an adult disabled person is sick whilst using a day service, who is called to collect them? It is the parents of course.

·         Who then coordinates doctors and hospital appointments for the disabled adult?  It is the parents of course!

·         Who then stays at home to look after the adult disabled person for the duration of the illness?  It is the parents of course! 

 These are the harsh facts that make the lives of parent carers so different from those of other parents, who have hope that their children will have a fulfilled and creative life, enjoying education, a career, marriage, children, holidays and other ordinary life events.

Our family carers have none of these hopes. For most of them their biggest hope is that people will care about and for their disabled children after they die. 

Their second biggest hope is that people will care about their disabled child’s daily life and provide the very best support and services throughout their lives.

Whatever informal support they have from family and friends, they cannot look forward to being free from the responsibility of ensuring their child gets up in the morning, has healthy meals, brushes his teeth, takes his medication and all the other tasks we do when our children are young and take for granted that when they reach milestones, they will do these basic tasks for themselves. At the age of 60, 70 and often 80, family carers of disabled daughters and sons will still be lying in bed at 5am listening for their child's waking noises as they did when their child was two years old.      
 
Many family carers live the whole of their adult life, into their winter years, taking care of their disabled sons and daughters, often ignoring their own ill health, until their own death. I am full of respect and admiration for these families who have devoted their own lives to taking care of their beloved children. Their courage and fortitude is exemplary and deserves all the medals given to people who do far less for humanity.

The example demonstrated to us by family carers should be applauded, supported and modeled.  Barnet Council should be insisting that all organisations provide services of excellent quality, appropriate to every disabled person’s individual needs.  Will YCB be a model all organisations will want to mirror?

Families of disabled children have been engulfed with emotion that only another disabled family has experienced, our community should be doing everything possible to help these parents, and often siblings, have some life of their own, knowing that their disabled child is well cared for, safe, stimulated and valued.
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.” George Santayanak
London Borough of Barnet could destroy the current YCB commodity culture. We could lead the way in setting an example to becoming a compassionate community if we listen and “hear” about the pain, practicalities and needs of disabled people and their family carers. It is easy to write and speak these words in order to “tick the boxes” but we need to work with integrity to put them into action for all vulnerable people in Barnet. 

Private companies see clients as a commodity.  Until they see my beloved daughter and all her peers as human beings we have to oppose the YCB culture of profit from disabled people.  Rachel’s life has begun at 40 years.  The highly paid people who kept her infantilized and conditioned to be “a good girl” know who they are but appear to have not learnt anything.  We have to ensure that all disabled people’s life is full of the same quality of care and service that my daughter is experiencing now, half way through her life.
We have learnt many lessons from Winterborne but have been too slow in putting all these lessons into practice.  We are still using many of the ingredients that created Winterborne and ignoring lessons. 
When will we ever learn?

Linda Edwards MBE

December 2013