Rog T's Cancer Blog & Wellbeing Wednesday - Going in the right direction

 Back in February I outlined the challenges I had last year and my health targets for this year. Following my cancer surgery in August 2023, I had a follow up PSA test last week, so I thought now was an excellent time to give a round up. As mentioned in the February blog, a check up in November showed a few things that were not right. One of these was a raised thyroid level, as well as high cholesterol and an increase in my blood sugar, moving me firmly into the pre diabetic scale.

I responded to this by bringing in a pretty strict fitness regime. I've been doing an 18 hour fast 2-4 days a week. I've also cut out a lot of snacks etc from my diet. I don't drink 3-4 days a week (something I've been doing for a couple of years, but I've stuck to it more religiously).  I also set myself a target of doing 1,500km in the gym on the bike, rowing machine and treadmill. I also set my target weight as 14'7 by the end of the year. 

So where am I. Well lets start with the best news. My PSA is < 0.0, which means I can sleep easy for six months. I've been managing to go to the gym  4 times a week. I've already met my 1,500km target and I'm hoping to do 2,500km by the end of the year. I am back on the treadmill (just) although I am walking at incline rather than running at the moment. I am building up to that. My thyroid level has returned to normal. I read that if you are on Omnprazol, you should increase your selenium levels. I've been eating brazil nuts and this seems to have worked. As for the cholesterol and glucose levels? Well the surgery didn't do the tests, so I don't actually know. I asked for them, but that didn't happen. 

My weight is down to 15'12. As I predicted, the first stone and a half is easy to lose, then it gets hard. I've only lost 1lb since June, but that is still progress. My BMI is no longer obese. I am on the high end of fat. I must add that this is all without the help of any weight loss drugs. 

Mentally, I am in a reasonably good place. I seem to have a couple of days a month where I struggle a bit to motivate myself. Being in a band and making music helps. 

Anyway, that is all. Having had two days fasting and not drinking, today is a day off!

Wellbeing Wednesday - Hitting a low

 Do you ever wonder "what is the point of bothering?". I am sorry to say that right now, that is exactly how I feel. Before everyone rings up, no I am not feeling depressed or down, I am just feeling very pissed off. Since November, I've been working hard on my weight and fitness. I've lost just shy of two stones, which is a good thing and was necessary. That is the good side. 

The bad side? It's a litany of woe. Where to start? Well I've been going to the gym regularly and my ankles and knees are suffering for it. It is not unbearable, but I am getting increasingly fed up with constant knee pain and ankle pain whenever I walk more than a few steps. My knee pain has abated somewhat over the last couple of weeks, but it has become a constant and irritating constant companion. I'd rather hoped that the weight loss would go some way to mitigating this, as les weight would put less strain. Sadly, this has not proven to be the case. It is really frustrating. But it is not the most frustrating thing.

Having been doing some serious gym work, I had just started to get to the point where I was happy with my rowing performance. I enjoy doing 10K rows. My target had been to get under 50 mins by April. I got down to 47.30. I was very pleased. I always reward myself by going to the sauna at Virgin Active in Mill Hill. Last Wednesday, I noticed something odd. When I was in the sauna and went to sit up, I had a rather odd bulge between my ribs and belly button. It was not painful, and only appeared when I tensed my abdominal muscles. I showed this to my physio, who immediately informed me that it was a large hernia and needed to be looked at. As the bottom of it was where I had the scar following my cancer surgery, I booked to see my surgeon, who I will see in mid May. In the meantime, no rowing.

A bit of a cherry on the top of the Gateaux de Merde is that I have a cold and I am covering for one of my staff, doing extra hours all week. As anyone who has ever worked in a position dealing with the general public will tell you, all of the most annoying customers always show up when you are feeling a bit rough. Don't get me wrong, I value our customers as they pay the bills, but sometimes I wish certain ones would choose days when I'm feeling a bit better to turn up! (And yes, most have been lovely).

Hopefully by tomorrow or Friday I'll feel better. I'm going to see a band later in Camden which should cheer me up, although right now, I just feel like an early night. We are nearly a third of the way through 2025. We've lost a Pope, Brian James, the founder of The Damned and Clem Burke, drummer of Blondie. I wish no ill on anyone, but I can't help but think that the Grim Reaper is doing us no favours in his choices right now.

I just hope some beer and rock and roll does the trick and tomorrow I'm feeling tickety boo! You may wonder why I am sharing such trivial woes? Because misery shared is misery halved. Talk about it, if you are feeling a bit low

Wellbeing Wednesday - Back on Tumeric, back on track!

 Lets start by saying I am not medically qualified, I am not offering medical advice, I am just sharing my personal expereince and what works for me. Always see someone who knows what they are talkning about before making medical decisions. Regular readers will know I've had a few medical challenges in the last few years. Back in 2011, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I've always tried to look after myself, I played football until I was 60, I had to give up when my ankle gave up the ghost and I couldn't run on it. I hate not playing, and this lead to a gain in weight. Last year, my blood sugar levels were diagnosed as pre diabetic and rising. My weight had ballooned to a pound short of eighteen stone. I'd been drinking too much, not exercising and eating too many curries. 

In some ways both my cancer diagnosis and this latest news had a positive effect on my life. In both cases, I took a long, hard look at my lifestyle and in both cases I made adjustments. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I read up on cancer and discovered an 'anti cancer diet'. Did this work? Well having been diagnosed at age 49 in 2011, I managed to put off having a radical prostatectomy until 2023. Was this down to the diet? I have no idea, but I do know it gave me a positive mental attitude and made me feel as if I was in  charge of the process to some degree. I based my lifestyle changes on a book called Anti Cancer: A new way of life, which is brilliant. It has a lot of lifestyle changes and I took many on board. 

In 2023, when I had my prostate removed, to some extent, I slipped back into pre cancer bad habits. This combined with not being able to exercise for a while after the operation, no football as an incentive to get fit and a general mental malaise lead to the weight gain and loss of fitness. The kick up the backside in November was necessary. Since then I've been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, and doinga  20+4 diet 2-3 days a week. My weight has dropped to 16 st 2lbs. For the first time since I stopped working in cenrtal London in early 2017, I started seriously rowing, doing 10km rows. I got my time down to 46,18, which is not bad ( I used to do it in 36.30 in my late forties, but that took three years to achieve). All was going swimmingly. Then the week before last, I woke up and when I tried to walk to the loo, my knee nearly gave way below me. I was in agony. I could hardly walk. In all the years of playing football, I'd never had such a pain in my knee. I started icing it, putting anti inflammatory gels on and resting it. This was most unwelcome, as I felt I was just making progress at the gym. After a couple of days, it eased slightly. I got back to the gym, doing light cycling. It hurt but was managable. I felt very frustrated. It wasn't clearing up properly. What could I do?

Good question? I was at a bit of a loss. I also noticed that my wrists, especially my right wrist which I broke playing football when I was 25 were very sore. Playing guitar was irritating them, which was really annoying. Given that I play in a band, this was truly worrying. After a light session in the gym, I was sitting in the sauna feeling a deep sense of woe. I was thinking back to 2011 and the despair I felt when I was diagnosed with cancer. If I can't exercise and I can't play guitar, I won't get better and I won't enjoy life. What is the point? Then I recalled the Anti Cancer diet. One of David Servan-Schreiber, the author's key points was that inflammation drives cancer growth, therefore taking natural anti inflammatories would slow the growth of cancer. It is worth noting that the book does not advocate miracle cures. It is simply about making your body and mind as resiliant as possible, so that working with your medical team, you are in the best position to deal with your cancer. The book talks about the 'bell curve' of life expectancy and how you want to be on the right hand side of this. It explains that if you are given six months to live by the doctor, that is the average time someone in your position will live. Some will live three months, some will live two years. What you want to do is be on the two years side of the bell curve and taking positive action is the one thing you personally can do. In my case, this was dropping dairy, drinking pomegranite juice and taking turmeric, as well as ditching processed foods. In the case of turmeric, it is a powerful anti inflammatory agent. 

So I sat there and thought "I really should get back on the turmeric, if these pains are caused by inflammation, then maybe it will help". So last week, we got some turmeric tablets and I started back taking them. To my amazement, within a couple of days, the pain  in my knee and wrists had abated. It is still there, but it is a dull ache, which is manageable. Yesterday, I was back in the gym on the rowing machine. I did a 10km row for the first time since my knee blew up. I did a very moderately paced row at 54.45 mins deliberately, as I wanted to 'test the waters'. This morning, there was no reaction. 

I'm not going to recommend any brands, it may all be a total coincidence, but for the first time in a few weeks, I am feeling positive. It isn't a 'miracle cure', but I can get on with things. Given that I've got a gig with the band on Saturday night at The Builders Arms in Barnet, this has to be a very good thing!

I'm actually really looking forward to this gig. The band are doing two sets, for the first time for several decades. It gives us a chance do stuff we don't normally play. There will be two rather special, for different reasons, songs played. The first will be a tribute to Rick Buckler, drummer of The Jam, who recently passed away. We are not a covers band, but Graham Ramsay, our drummer was keen to pay tribute to the guy who got him into music and drumming. It's not Ska, but I am sure that our loyal fans and the punters in the pub will forgive us! The second, is a reworking of one of the songs that The False Dots played at our first gig. It is called "The Electric Ballroom" and is based on our song Reality Ballroom, but updated. It is the story of a rather unfortunate incident at the venue, back in 1978, when The Fall played at the venue. Our esteemed trumpet player, Tom Hammond will sing both of these numbers.

Wellbeing Wednesday #4 - Falling by the wayside?

 Last year, in a vain attempt to get myself fit, I started the Wellbeing Wednesday series, full of the joys of new year resolutions. My plan was to get my weight down, get my BMI down, get fit and get back to playing football if possible. I thouht that writing a blog chronicling my outstanding successes would spur me on. In the event, I failed miserably, the diet and the fitness regime collapsed and by November not only was I heavier than ever, but I was moving dangerously close to being diabetic, let alone pre-diabetic. What went wrong? Well, as Harold MacMillan once said, 'Events Dear boy, Events'. I managed to slip on some mud in June, walking back from the Adam and Eve pub and badly damaged my shoulder. I could hardly sleep, let alone exercise. My ankle was playing up and walking was extremely painful. I am not good at being bored, so I did what I always do when I am bored with nothing to do, I eat and drink to excess. My one saving grace is that I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't like processed food. However, when I had my check up in November, it was a real shock. My weight had balloned to 17st 13. My glucose level was just 2 below diabetic. It was just what I needed, a real kick in the backside!

I immediately started a 20+4 fasting regime 2-3 days a week. This is meant to be the best way for a man of my age to get their glucose levels down. I also went back to the gym and somehow actually hit my target of doing 1,000km in 2024 in the gym on the bike and rowing machine. By the end of December, I was down to 17' 2. I set myself a target of 1,500KM for this year. My target for the year is to get the weight down to 14' 7. I am at 16'9 at the moment. Experience has taught me that the first half a stone is easy and then it get harder and harder, but I've got to 16'9 since the start of the year so it is on track(ish). My target is to lose 4lbs a month, so if I hit 16'8 this month, I am on target. I expect to do this. So long as I stick to 2-3 fasting days a week, I expect no problem. I am trying to go to the gym 3 times a week as well. This is on track with 205km logged so far on the bike and rower. I need another 45km this month to hit my 125km a month target. 

On Tuesday, I am seeing the 'healthy vessel clinic' at Millway medical practice, to discuss all of this. My absolute no 1 priority is to get my BMI down below obese, which is under 30. It is currently 30.7. The next target is to get the glucose level down, so the threat of diabetes goes off the calendar. I believe that the two things go hand in hand. My shoulder took 3-4 months to heal completely. My ankle injury has been partially mitigated by getting some suitable footwear.

I also realised that when I started this blog, I was not in the correct frame of mind to see it through. I was still in the recovery phase from my radical prostatectomy in August 2023 and I was bordering on depression at times. I feel in a better place. I set myself a series of punishing personal goals last year and failed in all, apart from those relating to the band. We did more than 12 gigs and we released our album. Why did I succeed in these and fail in everything else? The answer is simple, I would have felt like I let my band mates down, if we'd missed our goals. Letting myself down seems to matter less to me. I have come to realise that it is impossible to get physically healthy if your headspace is wrong. When you feel down, it is hard to motivate yourself and easy to fall by the wayside. I have come to the conclusion that the people we lie to most is ourselves. Maybe that's because there is less guilt in conning yourself.  But it is the most harmful thing. I don't know if I will keep this particular feature up. It is hard admitting you are a  useless failure, it is more fun when there is something to boast about. Naming and shaming yourself is a difficult thing to do. I only really did this as my BMI was below what it was in the last entry, but hey ho that is progress!

Also I am not sure whether talking about my weight and failed attempts to lower it is that interesting to anyone, but oddly the blogs I thought would be least interesting seem to get the biggest response. Just as an example, the most read blog this week on my site is a guest blog from 2013, by someone telling me what they thought of a blog I wrote about Richard Dawkins. I've no idea why thousands of people have started reading it, it didn't get a huge response when published. It is an interesting read, but a good example that you really can't guess what people are interested in. I don't know if Andrew Evans, who wrote the blog still reads the Barnet Eye, if he does, I wonder what he'd make of this?

Anyway enough of that, got to go to the gym!

Wellbeing Wednesday #3 - Fasting for Lent - Does it work?

Today's subject is Lent and giving things up for lent, but first a little review of where I am in my own personal struggle to get fit.

In Junuary we started a new, occasional series called Wellbeing Wednesday. I started with some plans to get fit and lose weight. So lets start with a review of how I've done?

Exercise

I've managed to just about stick to my targets for February and March

Cycling - Minimum 50km a month, Target for year 600km

Rowing - Minimum to June 10km a month,  July to December 40Km per month - Annual total 300km

Cross Trainer Jan - June. 1.5km per week 

A bit under for the cycling, ahead on the rowing and cross trainer.

Weight/BMI

My target was to get down under a BMI of 30 by the end of February. I've missed this by a bit. I think this may be as much due to putting on muscle as losing fat. I am definitely a fair bit thinner. I was 32.2 at the start of the year and 31.1 at the end of January, so it is still going in the right direction. The weight is down from 111 at the start of the year and 107 at the end of January

Alcohol

The plan was to not drink for 4 days a week. I've stuck to this pretty much. Last week I had 5 days off, the week before 2 days, I think it is averaging 4 pretty much. 

Mental Health wellbeing

I said that when I started this series, I'd keep a food and wellbeing diary. I failed miserably, doing it for two weeks. I sort of concluded that it was too much hassle. In truth that was as much being too disorganised and lazy to do it properly.

Fasting for Lent - Does it work?

Being from a traditional Catholic background, I always try and give something up for Lent, which is a 40 day period leading up to Easter, which is Sunday week. I try and do something that is healthy. This year, it has been red wine. I didn't want to completely give up alcohol, as we had quite a few events etc. I allowed myself last Saturday off. I chose wine, as I enjoy it a bit too much and if I over indulge in any drink it's wine.  I've noticed that the less I drink, the better my fitbit says my cardio health is. It seems to work!

I've given up all manner of things over the years for Lent. This has included sugar in tea, alcohol, meat, red meat, non organic meat, sweets, chocolate and other things I can't quite recall. It generally reflects how I feel at the time and what changes I think I need to make in my life. Some of the changes have been permanent or semi permanent. Sugar became permanent, meat became semi permanent (I gave it up for 16 years, but concluded  a non meat diet is unhealthy after I developed a vitamin b12 deficiency and associated symptoms). I have always stuck to the rules I've set, except when I have not gone into it seriously and prepared myself.

There are three rules that I always set myself. The first is that the change has to have what I perceive as a positive benefit for my health in some way. The second is that it is a change I wish to make and I am not doing it begrudgingly and the third is that whatever I give up, I have to miss in some way (that is the good Catholic in me). 

As I mentioned, on Saturday I gave myself a night off the abstinance. A friend was having a birthday party at a lovely hotel in Whitstable and paid for a fabulous meal. I just felt I'd not be properly participating if I didn't have a glass or two. I ended up overdoing it, which is why you see a big spike on the heart rate chart on the left. 

I have Muslim friendswho observe the Ramadan fast, which is a very different beast. The Ramadan fast means that you cannot drink or eat anything from sunrise to sunset and it is seen as a religious duty to do this. They find the concept of elective fasting quite bizarre and rather too easy for their liking. They feel that the strict regime of Ramadan really tests your mettle. For me, this is not a consideration. I admire the commitment of anyone who does it, but for me, it isn't really a religious thing as much as a reminder to review what you are doing and seek change. It is not compulsory for Catholics to give up things for Lent. I used to do it for the period of my life where I did not consider myself a Catholic. It is good to look at what you do and try and change things that could work better. I have always found Lenten abstinance to be a good thing. It gives you a chance to break self destructive patterns and test things out (only eating organic meat, as a treat). A few years ago, I was spendingtoo much time in the pub, so I gave up beer. Recently I've been drinking too much red wine at home, going to the pub hasn't been a problem. Things change.

So does it work? I works pretty well for me. I am no holier than I have ever been, but a bit of reflection on what changes you need to make is not a bad thing. Like many things in life, if it works for you, it works.

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Wellbeing Wednesday #2 - If the booze and ciggies don't get you the stress will!

What did you do this morning? I did something amazing. It wouldn't be amazing for you, it would be like having teeth pulled out, but for me it was cathartic and most relaxing. What did I do? Well on Saturday, as regular readers will know, my band did a gig celebrating 45 years of the band. The drummer from our first gig turned up and gave me a tape of the gig. I'd not heard it ever. I listened to it on Sunday. It was fascinating. And the other side of the tape? He said "That is just the band jamming in rehearsals, it's pretty ropey".  About 20 minutes of the tape, made some time in 1980, was the band jamming on a new idea for a song I'd written called "Wasting my life". Again, I'd never heard this. I'd almost forgotten the song. 

You may ask "what has this got to do with Wellbeing? Well quite a lot, stick with me here. The first attempt was awful, truly awful. Just me strumming and the rest of the band trying to join in. The second go was nearly as bad. The third version was sort of OK until it fell apart. Then there was a bit where we worked on a few little bits. Then we did the last version. And guess what, it sounded amazing. The bands then lead guitarist Craig Withecombe did a brilliant blues guitar solo, that went on for far too long at the end. It would have all been lost in the ether, had Dav Davies not taped it. I doubt anyone else on the planet would enjoy listening to it, but for me it was the most refreshing thing possible and I now have a spring in my step.

I had woken up feeling rather stressed. My son has a big interview today. He's going for his first job interview post Uni. There is nothing I want more than for him to do well. It was a big thing for him. He's a great lad. We went to watch Manchester City play Brentford on Monday, had a few drinks and he chilled for a bit. Yesterday he was locked in his room preparing. This morning, he got up early and got ready. I was having a cuppa when he came in, wearing his freshly dry cleaned suit. "How do I look Dad?". I told him he looked great. He is a very hamdsome Lad, I couldn't be more proud of him. But job hunting is horrible. I feel for him. Statistically, you have a small chance of success. Lots of people go, only one gets the job. The rest are told that someone else is better. Usually agencies and firms don't even bother telling you. It is only when you hear nothing you realise that someone else doesn't really rate you. I've done it lots of times and loathe the experience. How could I not feel stressed as he walked out?

So he went out and I sat there worrying. Then I thought "I've not listened to that dodgy rehearsal tape". I put it on and quite unexpectedly, the awful noise and out of tune guitars took me to a happy place. I was engrossed. The dire first attempts sucked me in and when we got it together, it was like having a lovely, soothing mental massage. I forgot the stresses for a few minutes. 

As you know, I had an operation to remove my prostate last year, as my cancer situation developed. One of the major trigger factors for cancer is stress. Your body gets distracted from looking after itself and it gets out of kilter. That's when cancer kicks in. What do we do to destress? Most of the people I know drink to excess, some smoke. How many people do you know who, when the going gets tough, they light up or pour a glass of wine? I certainly drink more when I am stressed. As the cancer clouds have lifted, I've not really felt like drinking in the same way. 

When the tape finished this morning, I thought to myself "If I ever gave up drinking completely, how would I deal with those moments of stress, when I've self medicated with alcohol?" The thought was too horrible to contemplate. Then I thought about that tape. Why did it have such a great effect on me? This was quite interesting. My friends and people who see the band, see us in an intense burst, playing songs we've spent months/years/decades developing. We are full of adrenalin when we play. But each of those songs went through the process on that tape. The fumbled, dodgy first attempt. The refinement. Then the moment it clicks, without prying eyes, where we just relax and play for pure joy of it. I worked out that I've spent around two whole years of my life in the rehearsal studios playing music with the band, if you were to add all of the hours up. It is a space I feel safe and happy. Rehearsal sessions are like a therapy session. 

I doubt if I listened to the tape again, it would have quite the same impact. I'd start analysing it, rather than being taken on the journey, but the fact is, the effect was amazing. I got to thinking "Is there something here I am missing?". Is there a way to destress completely, without alcohol or anything else? I've done relaxation classes, Yoga etc. They are great, but often I used to just fall asleep. You'd just start to chill and then they were over and you'd have to rush off. A few weeks ago, I participated in a cancer retreat. There were massages as part of it. Even then, I had a degree of anxiety about the massage, in that I was enjoying it and started to hope it wouldn't finish too quickly, which it surely did. Of course, all of thes ethings lower stress levels to a degree, which was good, but none transported me in the way that the tape just did.

You may wonder about other ways of relaxing. At one stage, a friend gave me relaxation tapes. You'd lie down and put them on. They didn't work. The ones I listened to had new age hippy sounding Americans, the sort of people I find infuriating, talking about visualising beaches and mountains. I'm not a beach person and whilst I don't mind looking at mountains, they don't really relax me. Listening to an album I like in the dark works better, but it invariably finishes too soon and you lose the mood. An added problem for me is that I don't really like calm relaxing music. Chilling out to Night Boat to Cairo isn't really that relaxing! Maybe this is why I've always felt I needed a drink in those moments when life gets too full on.

But, this morning I had a revealation. I can put a tape on and relax, I just need a tape that works for me, that doesn't have annying new age claptrap, but does have something that I can relax into. Being an engineer by nature, I gave this some thought. The song we were playing, Wasting my life was the slowest song in the bands set at the time, it had a swinging, hypnotic tone and Craigs rather easy,  guitar solo that went on far too long was pleasant and interesting. I have always thought that to relax and destress, you needed to shut down your brain. I realised that this isn't the case. What you need is pleasant distraction. When you do guided meditations, focussing on mountains and beaches, you are taking yourself to somewhere nice. There was much hilarity a couple of years ago when a contestant on 'I'm a celebrity" said Burnley FC's Turf Moor homeground was their happy place. Whilst there was much mirth on social media, I got that. That is where you are around friends and have great moments.

So where am I going with this. What I am saying is that finding a way to destress without drinking, etc is a challenge for me. The realisation I have had is that rehearsing with the band is, for me, perhaps the closest I normally get to destressing. Playing the guitar and singing in a stress free environment, in the company of people I like is a wonderful thing. We are cut off from the world and focussing on things we like doing. It has not escaped my attention that the flare up in my prostate cancer coincided with me having to stop playing five a side football. This was another way that I lowered my stress levels. When you play football, you can't think about paying the gas bills etc. 

What are the wider lessons that I can share. Playing in a band works for me, but what about non musicians? The first thing to assess is whether there is a problem? Do you feel stressed. Can you relax (something I really struggle with). If you can, great, but if you can't then what you really need to think about is whether there are things that lower your stress levels without chemical intervention. What you need is something you can immerse yourself in completely, where the stress creating noises in your mind are silenced and pleasant things, positive things are able to take precedence. Find something that works for you. 

Wellbeing Wednesday #1 - Time for change has come!

 One of my 'secret new years resolutions' was to start this feature. However, I decided that I'd wait until I had my six month cancer consultation before I did. There were three reasons for this. The first, I am superstitious and I didn't want to tempt fate. The second is that if the results of my PSA test and consult were not good, I'd be in no real state to talk about wellbeing. The third and this may or may not surprise anyone who has read my blog and knows how opinionated I am, is that I wasn't really sure that I had anything sensible to say. My doubts were somewhat eased by discussions I had with friends recently. A couple said that reading my Cancer blog series had been really helpful.

So why now? Following my radical prostatectomy in August, it is likely ( I have just crossed my fingers and said an Our Father for good luck, being a very superstitious, if rather bad Roman Catholic, who doesn't want to tempt fate) that I've put my cancer struggles behind me. Although I will persist with my cancer blog, I hope that it will slowly wither, as it eventually becomes just an annual round up of the PSA test. But the journey has given me a hell of a lot. I don't know if I am alone in this, clearly I am (currently) a survivor and someone who has actually got more positives out of the brush with cancer than negatives. The mental health challenge, especially in the last year, have been immense, but the journey has made me finally address many things that have held me back as a person. I have no qualifications to speak about wellbeing, it is purely a personal viewpoint. I am sure some qualified people may find what I have to say wrong, possibly verging on irresponsible at times, but I believe that one of the biggest problems around the issue of wellbeing is that we are all horribly dishonest. 

So lets start with how this will work. I have set myself some goals for the year. I will track them here.

Exercise 

Last year, I had goals and these were derailed by my surgery and not being able to use the gym at all for three months. This year, my goals are as follows.

Cycling - Minimum 50km a month, Target for year 600km

Rowing - Minimum to June 10km a month,  July to December 40Km per month - Annual total 300km

Cross Trainer Jan - June. 1.5km per week 

Running July-December 15Km a week

My ankle is unable currently to support running, so I am building up with the cross trainer

My target is to clock 1,000km in the gym in total this year. I aim to go twice a week as a minimum.

I also aim to continue my 10k steps a day minimum walking.

I used to be able to row 10K in 37 minutes. It is my aim to get back to doing 10km in 42 minutes by December. This will need a lot of work and is dependent on not getting injuries. 

As its the last day of January, I have failed miserably to meet my target, but this is in part due to my ankle at the start of the month. I started on the 17th and have managed 4km rowing, 28km cycling and 1km on the cross trainer. I aim to catch up by December

Weight/BMI

At the start of the year, I was 111kg. This may be the heaviest I've ever been. This was a combination of overdoing the alcohol, comfort eating and Christmas. Then there is my BMI (click here to check your BMI) -  my consultant told me on Monday that as my BMI was registering as obese, I need to address this. He informed me that this is likely to hinder my recovery from prostate surgery in matters sexual. That is a good incentive

This was my BMI at the start of the month

I've been dieting all month and the weight is down to 107kg. Definite progress has been made. If I keep this up for February, I should be out of the obese range (just about)

So how have I been doing this? I did not drink at all for the first two weeks in January and I've set myself a target of drinking on a maximum of two days a week for the rest of the month. For the rest of the year, the target is to drink a maximum of three days a week. As for food, my target is to eat around 2,500 calories a day on non drinking days, whilst with exercise, burning a minimum of 3,400kCal per day. 

To facilitate this, I've been keeping a food diary. This tells me if I am meeting this. I largely am. Weekends/drink days need some work, but by choosing healthier options in restaurants etc, it does make a difference. I do not believe that living like a monk is balanced, so it is getting the balance right. Knowing you have to add snacks etc to the diary focusses the mind. Being honest with yourself is the key. 

I will track my BMI progress here. My target is to be BMI 27.3 by 1st June (weight 94kg). This puts me bang smack in the middle of the 'Overweight' category. Whenever I have reached this weight previously, I have had healthy body fat levels. I am a naturally thick set build and believe BMI is a bit of an imprecise tool. My intention will be do discuss this with my GP at the time, when I have a regular check up. 

Alcohol

This is my biggest challenge. I come from a family with a strong history of alcoholism on both sides. My wife has spent 30 years telling me I am in denial over my drinking. Adding drinks to my alcohol log is my way of trying to work out if I have a problem and how much of a problem it is. I do not believe I have a tendency to alcoholism. I don't miss it when I don't drink (except in the pub in company of drinkers). I don't drink on my own. Some of the Trolls who have tried to upset me have portrayed me as an alcoholic, drunkenly blogging at 3am in the morning with a G&T in my hand. This is total rubbish. The only time I've ever blogged after drinking, is when I've attended something such as a council meeting, then been to the pub with other bloggers etc after, and I wanted to get the blog done when I got home, as it was fresh in my mind. Generally they are written in the morning, sober.

I easily manage to stick to my days off rule, apart from on holidays and breaks, which I have always excluded from the rules. What I do, and recognise is a problem, is binge drink on the days I do drink. As most of my good friends also do this, it is a challenge to address. Following my prostatectomy, I've learned that too much volume of alcohol, especially beer, can lead to unfortunate accidents. This has made me moderate my binge drinking (as well as planning my route home carefully). 

I can honestly say that until I've a couple of months worth of data on my food log, I will not really be able to work out a strategy. Let say, this is not a challenge that over concerns me right now. 

Mental Health Wellbeing

So how do I feel? As I started to put this blog together, I realised that this was something that I don't track. When I was 24 I had a mini crisis, when my relationship with my then partner broke down and I had a serious health crisis (a stomach bleed that almost killed me and an infected polyp in my left ear that made me think I was going mad). I had counselling after. The counsellor suggested I keep a mood diary. As this was in a book, I was terrified that someone may find it, so I put symbols rather than categories. There were four. I marked these out of ten. These were 1 - Anxiety/stress level, 2 - Mood/Happiness level, 3 - Goal achievement level and 4 - Sexual interest/activity level. It might not surprise you that the higher 1 and lower 2 were, the lower 3 and 4 were. I also recorded why. My counsellor suggested setting daily goals (ten minutes guitar practice, go for a run/exercise for 30 mins, etc). I'd set one a day. That doesn't mean don't do other things. Sometimes they were boring that I didn't want to do, like doing a tax return. I also had to make a note as to why I'd not achieved them. Often the reason for failing was "Went to pub with mates and got pissed". For the six months I was having counselling, I'd review this on a fortnightly basis. At the end of 1985, I met my current wife and since then, mostly 1 and 2 have been low and the others far better. I thought I'd put it to bed, but I realise it would be useful to do this again. 

So I will be adding these back to the food log and setting a daily goal. Here is todays entry - As you can see it has only been partially filled and is more for an example if its something you feel may work for you

As I stated, this seems to work for me. It is my intention to post this blog regularly, usually on the last Wednesday of the month, charting progress and analysing any lessons learned. I see this as the logical successor, as mentioned above, to the cancer blog (assuming that behaves itself). 

I will discuss strategies that have worked for me and why I've fallen back where that happens. By posting this, I have put it out there, so I can't hide from it.

I finish by saying a few words of thanks. Firstly to Professor Christopher Eden, my prostate surgeon, who put me in a position to do this. To my mens health physio Mr Gerard Green, who helped me deal with the aftermath of my surgery. To Andrew, the nutrition expert at Vitality Health, who got me back on track with the food log and to Natalie at Vitality, who organised the seminar where I met Andrew. 

Then there is my missus, the ever lovely Clare, who makes it all possible, my kids Maddie, Lizzie and Matthew who give me a reason to do it. And finally to all my mates, who will do everything in their power to derail all of the good work, when we go for a drink, but without whom life would be so dull!

And I finish with a promise. On Saturday 3rd Feb, The False Dots, my band, will perform a gig to celebrate their 45th Birthday at The Dublin Castle. This will be a day when my food log will be very + on the calories side, as I have a few pints to celebrate (please come along). Right now, I look like a fat slob. My ambition is to, by the bands next birthday, have a 'beach ready physique', rather than a 'beached whale phsyique". I am keen to show this off. If I achieve it, I'll buy everyone who reminds me of this promise a drink of whatever they want! (I was going to promise to do a song in the Buff, but we want people to enjoy the evening).