The frustration of dyslexia

Regular readers of the blog will know that I'm moderately dyslexic. Generally this hasn't been a problem for me since my early teens, when I developed a pretty decent strategy for dealing with it. In the good old days of the mid 1970's dyslexia as such didn't exist. We were just plain thick. I'm so glad that I don't live in todays namby pamby state where I'd have been statemented, given extra time in exams, had my own classroom assistant. Had I been given all of that, there's no way I'd be the mass of raging anger that propels my love of punk rock and my burning hatred of injustice. Children today don't know what it's like to be called to the front of the class and ritually humiliated "Let's all laugh at the retard" sessions were one of the highlights of my growing years. There was a turning point for me. It happened when I was at Finchley Catholic High School. At the time my best friend was Patrick Walsh. I had transgressed. The then Headmaster of the School, Nick Kelly was taking us for a lesson. He didn't like something I said and decided to humiliate me. He invited Pat Walsh to stand up and ridicule me. Pat stood up and announced that there was no way that he would do such a thing. He turned round and said "You've got something to say, say it for yourself". The rest of the class, like a bunch of hyenas sensing that the old alpha was hurt and the old order was changing all joined in. Kelly bottled it and dragged me up to his office to give me a letter to take home to my parents and told me I was a troublemaker. That was the day I learned the most important lesson of my life. Stand up for what you believe in and don't abandon your friends. If Pat had done what the Head asked, I wouldn't have held it against him, I'd just have taken it. As it was, it made me realise that you NEVER should take it. I doubt he even remembers it. We lost touch when I left aged 15. Much to my shame a year before, I didn't have the guts to take the same stand. Pat had bad eczma and used to have a red raw face. One day, he turned up late for a history lesson. The teacher, Mr Linane, looked at him as he arrived and annouced "Baconface arrives". We all found it hilarious and for a while the name stuck. I thought it was wrong at the time, but didn't have the courage to stand up and say anything (I was about 12).

Do you know how it feels when your friends put themselves on the line for you and win, especially when you have low self esteem? It feels great. After that day, all of the thrashings I received didn't matter. So what got me thinking about this. Well these days there's only thing which I have significant problems with. Filling out forms. Generally I get Mrs T to do that. Sadly she's in Sheffield at a swimming championship with eldest daughter. My anti virus subscription expired and I needed to renew it. For most people this would be a simple task. It took me 45 minutes and a phonecall to the bank to sort out my card. After getting absolutely nowhere I eventually had another look (for the hundredth time) Oh yes. I realised the error of my ways. 01/11 isn't the November 2011.

Happily for me such errors now only make me feel frustrated. I no longer have to stand in front of 40 classmates for a ritual humiliation by the teacher. Whenever you hear radio shows about schools, you year the same mantra. Standards have dropped, the old ways are better, in my day we got a proper education. I see how hard my children work and how good their work is. I had a great education if you consider having a deep mistrust of authority, a raging anger at injustice and a commitment to stand by my friends through thick and thin are what you consider to be a good education. I just wished I'd enjoyed the whole process a tiny bit more.

Dogs, children and people trainers

I love dogs, I love all animals (apart from Snakes which I have a mega phobia of). The picture here is our lovely Boxer dog Tilly.

We specifically got a Boxer as they are great dogs to have around children. They are boistrous, friendly and fun. Despite their look they are extremely friendly.

Dogs have personalities which reflect their owners. They are pack animals and respond well to a pecking order. They quite like being at the top of it as well. That is often where the trouble starts. In our household, we love programs such as "The Dog Whisperer". If you read the synopsis, it says that he's a dog trainer. Nothing could be further from the truth. He's actually a people trainer.

The sad thing is that many of his customers only get taught how to be a proper human being, because they have an unruly dog, which requires training. It's rather like programs such as "The House of Tiny tearaways". I always laugh when I see Tanya Byron on TV. She was in our NCT group when we had our eldest daughter Maddie. Her and partner Bruce (who is an actor on the Bill) were in the same boat as us then, starting the journey of Parenthood. I was reminded of this when we found a card from Tanya, congratulating us on the birth of Maddie. Strangely enough, I wasn't really keen on the idea of having children. Being a Rock and Roller, I enjoyed a fairly hedonistic lifestyle and didn't want to tone it down. I wasn't that chuffed initially to learn I was going to be a Dad. I've always been one to take my responsibilities seriously though, I've never once missed a band rehearsal !

Over the years, I've grown up. Once I got used to the idea, I realised that I needed to change my ways. I'm as proud as hell of my kids. When my eldest became a national swimming champion at the ASA age group championships last month, I was chuffed. All of that hard work really has paid off. It's the little things as well though, the shared Ice Cream, pointing out the North Star and how to locate it. These are the things which make life worthwhile. If anything I regret that commitments of work mean I've not seen enough of them growing up. Maybe they've seen too much of me growing up though.