Chickens come home to roost in a Youtube world

Back in 1981, I visited a friend at one of the rather better Universities. It was a good excuse for a cheap weekend away. As ever, such evenings ended in the Student Union subsidised bar. This was a good place to get blind drunk on the cheap and there were always plenty of young and pretty undergraduates to be chased.

There was one group of students who rather stuck out in the bar. My friend stated that they were the Young Conservatives on a night out. Whilst they seemed just as keen on getting pissed and meeting members of the opposite sex as the rest of us, there was definately an aura of oddness about this group. At about 10pm, one of them leapt up on a table and started shouting, in a manner that today would probably have him classified as having touret's syndrome. I can't honestly remember exactly what he said but phrases such as "Harpoon the disabled" "Euthenasia for the elderly" were bellowing forth. His friends found this hilarious. I was less than impressed, but as I was a guest I felt I had to restrain myself from thumping him, which was my first instinct. I comment to my friend "what a complete knob". He responded "Oh, he's actually alright. He's taking the mickey out of ***** ******* who's the leader of the young Tories.

I was a bit surprised, but it transpired that there was an election coming up for the post and the drunk on the table was trying to usurp the incumbent. It seemed as if a major part of his strategy was to get roaring drunk and mercilessly lampoon the incumbent. His entourage at least thought it was hilarious. I asked if the incumbent had actually said "Harpoon the disabled", to which my friend replied "probably not".

I'd completely forgotten the event until recently, when I bumped into my friend. He said "Do you remember that bloke you wanted to thump at my college bar?" I replied "Oh, Mr Harpoon the disabled". He said "er yes, thats the one". He added "Did you know he's in the Shadow Cabinet?". I replied that I wouldn't recognise him if I saw him, having only seen him once, in a drunken haze, 28 years ago.

My friend replied "I bet you wish you'd had a mobile phone with a camera then, that would look good on your blog". I suppose if you wanted to be really unfair and make mischief, it would. I'm not really into trawling up high jinx from ancient history. I assume that, like me, he's a rather different character now and cringes at some of the things he did at college (assuming he could remember). I'm glad that we didn't have youtube, cameras on mobile phones and skype when I was a teenager, god knows what my kids would think if they saw some of my shenanigans.

During David Cameron's leadership campaign, reference was made to his past drug use. There was the inference that he'd been a naughty boy at college. A nice little youtube clip of him snorting or puffing would probably have finished him (assuming he did, which he may not have for all I know). Would this have been a good thing? Well not from my perspective. I'd hate him to get elected, but this is because he's a Conservative. If he's a Conservative who had a good time at college and has since grown up, I'd say that is actually a plus. He has shown that he has the self restraint to try something & then say "Ok, been there done that, moved on".

Unless we as a society grow up and realise that we do stupid things when we are 18 that we wouldn't do when we are 46, then Youtube clips will ensure that we never get anyone in politics apart from the most boring, useless, characterless figures, who are so risk dull that nothing will ever get done.

Dave Hill: Boris Johnsons best PR man?

Dave Hill regularly highlights the failings of the Boris Johnson regime in his Guardian blog. His latest blog details how Boris arrived pissed at a reception for Pride. A member of team Boris has left a comment (the first one) which says about Dave

you're his best PR by a mile Dave, just thought you should know

If that is the case, why is the taxpayer paying one of Boris mates £127,000 a year to do the job, and if Dave's doing a better job, how rubbish must Guito Harri be?

Why I know Mike Freer is telling porkies about Future Shape

Mike Freer took over Barnet Council, under the pretext of being a hard line Thatcherite.

Hard line Thatcherites believe in Tax cuts. That is there reason d'etre. They believe Tax cuts win elections. Mike Freer's been in the job for three years. How many tax cuts have we had? None

Mike Freer has said Future Shape is vital to control budgets. Has he promised tax cuts when it's implemented? Nope. What does this tell us? It tells us that

a) Mike Freer isn't a Thatcherite
or
b) Mike Freer doesn't believe Future Shape will really save money
or
c) Both of the above.

If Freer really had the courage of his convictions, he'd have come out and said "Every household in Barnet will be a minimum of £xxxxx better off when we do this". That is called a vote winner. It's what Tories are meant to do.

It's bad enough that they are wasting millions on consultants devising the scheme , the fact that they don't even have the courage of their convictions to say they'll give us a tax cut is scandalous.

I know what Mike's reposte will be. He'll say "we can't commit to a tax cut because we don't know how much the government grants will be". Well Mike, we're not stupid, make a realistic estimate. That's what you've done for your forward budget projections. Say "If the government gives us the expected amount of X, we'll cut your tax by this much".

Of course Mike won't because he hasn't got a clue if Future Shape will actually work, or whether it will save a single penny. It's a huge punt. Just like the huge amounts borrowed to invest in Iceland. With Mike Freer's track record, how do you think it will work out?

Of course Future Shape isn't being done for the voters of Barnet, rich or poor, Tory, Lib-Dem or Labour. It's being done so that Mike Freer catches David Cameron's eye and gets a plum job if he becomes an MP.

You may wonder what the relevance the picture at the top of this post has? Well it reminded me of the way that the other Tories in Freer's Barnet Cabinet have stuck up for the interests of the people who voted them in and paid their allowances. It sort of reminded me of Andrew Harper at the last cabinet meeting.

How to get a £10,000 legal indemnity at Barnet Council

BC: Hello Mike, Can I have £10,000 please
MF: What for?
BC: I can't tell you
MF: OK, here's the cheque

I believe that is the gist of the conversation

The video that made MTV

This week we've had lots of people paying tribute to Michael Jackson. One of the credits he's received is that he's the man who made MTV with the Thriller video. It was a groundbreaking video, sure enough, but the video which really made MTV is this one.



This is from 1981 and it is Duran Duran performing Girls on Film. This was several years before Thriller and when it first appeared people stopped and stared. They'd never seen anything quite like it. Sure by todays standards it's tame, but in 1981 it was revolutionary. It was the first video to really move away from the "four blokes playing" scenario. Subsequent videos had even higher production standards and really stood out. Locations such as Sri Lanka were used, which was unheard of before.

I met Duran Duran in December 1981 in Stockholm. My then girlfriend, dragged me to a gig at the Underground club at T-Centralen. It was a great gig & I got chatting to a roadie about music. One thing lead to another and next thing we were backstage partying with the band. Simon Le Bon was a great guy. He used to live in Hendon for a while & we discussed local pubs & other stuff. Being in a band, we had a great chit chat. They put us all on the guest list for the next show at the Ritz. We had a hoot that night as well. They signed a stack of memorabilia for the girls & I took their number, agreeing to catch up back in London. I never got round to it. ISimon even nicked one of my jokes for a TV interview on Scandanavian TV. I've still got a signed tour program somewhere.

I'll say this though. They were a great band. They were truly innovative with their videos. If you look at any modern video, there are far more elements of Girls on Film, than any of Michael Jacksons work, and it was done for a fraction of the budget. A superb band, a great video and a fantastic bunch of blokes. This isn't a pop at Michael Jackson. I just like to see credit go where it is really due.

Great Britain will join the Euro within 5 years

That Rog T, he's really lost the plot this time !

That's what you laugh as you read this headline. Well,I may be wrong, but I have good reason to say this.

The reason - the most powerful man in Great Britain wants us to and what he want's he gets. Who is this man? None other than Peter Mandelson. He's not a mug, our Peter. He's a very shrewd operator. He knows exactly how much of a liability Gordon Brown is. He knows that the best Labour could possibly hope for, even if they pull off a miracle, is a small majority. With rampant rebellions, nothing could get done. Great Britain PLC needs some pretty strong medicine. Like chemotherapy, that medicine will hurt nearly as much as the illness. Who better to administer the pain than David Cameron and the Tories. Let them take the blame, so long as they've not got a proper working majority, it really doesn't matter. They'll be out again in a couple of years. Then the time & conditions will be ripe for the event that will write his name amongst the political superstars.

Here's the timeline

January 2010 - Britian starts a borrowing lead recovery from recession, Labour poll ratings improve, but not enough

May 2010 - General election - Tories form a minority government propped up by Unionists

June 2010 - Brown resign's, Mandelson anoints Gordon Brown's replacement. Tories pass vicious austerity budget.

September 2010 - Camerons cutbacks start to bite. His poll ratings slump & the economy plunges into recession as the borrowing lead mini boom ends. European economies grow.

Feb 2011 - Tories lose first by-election. Hospital wards close, school rebuilding slows. New Labour leader rides high in polls.

May 2011 - One year in. Osborne resigns amid failing economy. Ken Clarke becomes Chancellor, to "save the day". Boris Johnson distances himself from Cameron, lining himself up for a post Cameron tilt at the leadership. Announces that he's standing down as mayor after term, to concentrate on being an MP.

September 2011 - Mass demonstrations as Tory cuts bite deeper. Nurses & teachers pay frozen, interest rates rise to 8%. The economy stagnates.

Jan 2012 - Mass Tory rebellions over unpopular bills, Cameron struggles to hold his divided party together. Ken Clarke takes unpopular but necessary action to stabilise the economy. Hints that the only lon term solution is the euro.

May 2012 - Ken Livingstone retakes Mayorship, from hapless Tory rival. Boris finds a safe seat. Massive Tory losses in Council election.

September 2012 - Ken Clark, Peter Mandleson & Nick Clegg announce cross party campaign to join Euro. Tories backbenchers go ballistic. Unionists withdraw from government after by-election mauling. Cameron loses no confidence motion.

October 2012 - Labour wins general election. Tories hopelessly split, Labour announce that Great Britain will join the Euro on 31st December 2013 (when everyone is partying & looking the other way).

November 2012 - New Tory leader elected.

March 2013 - Economy recovers. Labour hailed as the saviour of Great Britain, Ken Clarke ponders what a funny old world it is as he gifts a Labour government a second golden legacy.

September 2013 - RBS shares recover to £2.75, LLoyds share to £4.30. Government announces sale to fund huge program of hospital and school building. Labour takes 20% Lead.

Jan 1st 2014 - Peter Mandleson walks down to Boots to buy some tablets for his hangover. The Cashier says that will be 5 euro's your Lordship

My advice to any Tories who want to stay out of the euro - vote for Gordon Brown, you know he'll never make a decision. What about Peter Mandelson? He's not that popular in some sections of the Country, but I suspect he doesn't really care. I've long thought he's more concerned about being a chapter in our great, great, great grandchildrens history textbooks, than making people like us happy. There is really only one event that can write that chapter. I suspect that a large UKIP vote will split the anti EU vote and deliver us all up to the Euro. Quite ironic really. I suspect that is what his Lordship will enjoy most.

Manchester United supporters

I'm a Manchester City Fan. I have been since 1968, when we won the league. Living in London, I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. The last time was the 1-1 draw against Liverpool at Anfield last season. It's been a tough journey. The only time I've seen them lift silverware was at the 2nd Division Play off final against Gillingham. I did make the classic 3-2 cup final defeat to Spurs way back in the early eighties. The rest of the family are mostly United fans (apart from my wise nephew Sasha).

City fans have a great gallows humour, we savour victory, we don't take anything for granted. When City became the worlds richest club, I like many City fans immediately expected a Gulf Oil crisis whereby our benefactor went bust. Did he really know what he was buying? All City fans know that there is a gipsy curse on the club, which see's our dreams turn to ashes on a regular basis. I recall the Maine Road Massacre, where we stuffed United 5-1. Oh how we sniggered as we gleefully waited for old Rednose (Fergie to you) to get the boot. That went well.

Well, soon a new season starts and a Blue moon is rising.

Which brings me to the subject of my Ire. Manchester United fans. Whilst City fans do a great line in self depreciating humour, all we get from Reds (or the scum as we lovingly know them) are boasts. Where we sing Blue moon in melancholy, they struggle to chant "United". Even the spawn of Satan himself, Roy Keane, complained about the "prawn sandwich brigade". I was discussing this recently with Guigsy, former Oasis bassplayer. He told me that football has never been about winning, it's about belonging. Supporting City is about wingers storming down, highs, lows, cheers & tears - emotions. Talk to a United fan, it's about stats and facts. In the 1950's boys liked to collect train numbers. Now they become United fans & collect championships & match stats. If I had a pound for every time a United fan had said "why do you support City, they are useless" I'd be rich. I retort "If United became unsuccessful, would you stop supporting them" - The smug, arrogant response is always "Well that isn't going to happen".

I've got family & friends who I love who support United. I don't hate their fans. I do however find that there's rather too many of them who are smug, arrogant, unpleasant, boastful and boring. They could do with a goodly period of failure, sackcloth and ashes, to reconnect with their emotions. To paraphrase Slaine Mac Roth "The Ryman League would not seems too low".

To all my United supporting readers who I've offended by this rant. I'm sure you guys are among the nice ones. It isn't personal (mostly).

David Miller drops a clanger !

I've often stated that I believe "Don't call me Dave" Miller is Barnet's most sensible Tory. I've been forced to suspend this title. He's dropped a major clanger in his latest blog. One that could cost us dear. We all know that Barnet's Tory Councillors read his blog more avidly than they read cabinet reports. Well his latest blog "What a bunch of Kents" details how Kent County Council have voted for even bigger rises to their allowances (as the rest of us struggle through a recession).

Surely David should realise that Barnet Council will see this as a green light to boost their own pay. If they hadn't thought of it before, they certainly will now !

Update : As I've long stated, David Miller is Barnet's most sensible Tory. He also admits when he's wrong. As such, he's removed the offending blog. If only the rest of Barnet's tories were as sensible or as prepared to take action when they get it wrong. To do so is a sign of strength, not weakness.

National Express - More like national disgrace

National Express has given the keys to it's east coast mainline train set back to the government. The reason, we've got a recession & they won't makes the pots of money they hoped.

We've been here before. Railtrack went bust when the government wouldn't bale it out. What happened when the shareholders were cut out of the picture? Costs went down, service got better. I'm not anti private sector. I believe that small business is criminally ignored by all parties (too fragmented to have a block vote). I do believe that railways are a national asset and should be managed for the public good.

Ironically on the day that the wheels came off the railway privatisation, Barnet council announces it's massive "Future Shape" privatisation plan. Do they never learn? When John Major's Government privatised BR, we were promised faster, cleaner, cheaper trains.

In 1993 the fastest journey from Mill Hill to Kings Cross was 11 minutes. It's now 14 minutes. There were 8 rush hour trains an hour, now there are 5. They even had a tea trolley on some trains then.

I did a quick google of Thameslink prior to writing this blog. Turns out that there are a load of new trains for the line. They were meant to be delivered months ago, but the private company that builds them has messed up. To keep the service running, First Group have had to borrow trains from other companies. The only people who have benefitted from the cock up are the trainspotters, who are getting most excited about all of strange rolling stock turning up.

The truth is that these private companies are a disaster. I'm disgusted that after three Labour victories, with record majorities, they have not all been nationalised.

Memo to Barnet's Tories, proir to the cabinet review of future shape. If the private sector is so marvellous, why has National Express failed?

Barnet Council starts ‘Future Shape’ process of rapid evolution

There is a press release on Barnet Council's website

Barnet Council starts ‘Future Shape’ process of rapid evolution

Let's analyse a few statements.

“We need to look at how we can rapidly evolve our organisation, and the way in which we deliver our services, to reflect the changing environment in which we work. Some services may see more direct personal care, some could move online."

We are seeing the beginings of this with the mobile warden service and the roll out of telephone panic lines. I've no objection to services being available on line, so long as this doesn't exclude those unable to access the internet.

Without action the cost of key council services could rise exponentially.

This is stretching the truth to breaking point. Increase in costs is likely to be driven by wage bills. These are unlikely to rise exponentially. The major unforseen costs currently in the news are derived from mismanagement of contractors. Barnets solution - more contractors, more outsourcing.

Developments won’t simply follow a ‘private sector good, public sector bad’ model. Barnet Council’s staff do a great job of supporting residents in already challenging circumstances and we want to increase their efficiency and expertise so they can continue to increase the support they give.

Fine words indeed, but it goes on

Equally there will be some areas where the private sector has expertise and the benefits of experience that we may lack. We need to strike a balance that gives us the best of both worlds

So what areas of service provision does the council consider that the private sector does better? Well previous Future Shape documents have given hints. More or less everything, seems to be the goal.

To get to this position, Barnet has spent £650,000 on consultants. The main recommendations? More consultants and more reports.

The truly mind boggling quote is this one

Without action the cost of key council services could rise exponentially. The underlying cost of disposing of Barnet residents’ household waste will rise by close to 75% by 2016 for example. We need to see changes in the amount of waste the borough produces and how we deal with it.

This can only mean one thing - a bin tax. The more rubbish, the more you pay. It seems that Mike Freer has realised good old Gordon Brown is on to something with his stealth taxes. It's like booze tax - "you know it's for your own good".

There is one commendable thing in the report

Barnet Council proposes to establish a residents’ review of Future Shape, ensuring that developing services match the priorities and expectations of Barnet residents.

Lets just hope that if the review disagrees with Freers's view, he doesn't ignore it in the same way he ignored the Warden cut consultation.