Hank Marvin, The False Dots and Candid camera

When I got in last night, my good lady was watching a documentary on Cliff Richards. Piers Morgan was doing an interview. Cliff will be going on tour soon with the Shadows, featuring legendary guitarist Hank B. Marvin. What many of the readers of the Barnet Eye are probably unaware of is that in the early days of my band, "The False Dots", Hank's son Paul was our drummer. One of the reasons for asking Paul to join was his promise that we could "rehearse in his dad's studio".

Hank had a nice big mansion in Radlett and one of the rooms was a purpose built studio with a fantastic array of guitars, amplifiers and other instruments. I doubt that the studio ever saw such a bunch of heathens in it's midst as the False Dots. At the time, we'd only been playing for a few months and were, for want of a better word, rubbish. We'd just written what I consider to be our first decent tune "Not All She Seems" and as we were facing the prospect of a trip to Hank's studio, I wrote a suitably Shadowsy lead lick for it (hoping to impress Hank).

I didn't really know much about Hank's homelife at the time. I expected it to resemble "The Osbournes" as I thought that's how rock and roll stars lived. As we were on the train to Radlett, where Hank would meet us, Paul started to explain the house rules. "Dad's a Jehovah's Witness. Please don't smoke cigarettes or swear in the house or he might get upset". Pete Conway, our vocalist, asked "What about beer". Paul said "best not ask for that either". Paul Hircombe, then our new rythme guitarist chimed in "I suppose skinning up is also out of the question". Paul Marvin was clearly worried. He said "Look guys, it's a great studio, please just try and keep him happy".

Anyway, we arrived at the station and Hank picked us up. I'd expected a Rolls Royce and Chauffer, but he turned up in a rather nice Citroen. He laughed "I bet you guys were expecting a Rolls". I said "Yes, I was actually". He replied "Oh we're quite down to earth".  Anyway, we were ushered in. Hank's wife asked what we'd like to drink. I responded "Please can I have a cup of tea". She asked "Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Assam". I replied "Any chance of PG Tip's". She replied "Sorry, I've not got that". I said "Ok, Assam will do fine". We were ushered into Hank's private lair. He said "You can use any of the amps, but if you want to borrow a guitar, please ask". We'd brought our instruments. I had a Hofner Galaxy that I'd painted. Hank examined it with interest "I used one of these before I got a Strat. Get yourself a strat, it's much better". He then left us to it. I had the pleasure of using his Fender Twin reverb. It was a fantastic amp. In Hank's studio we felt like a proper band, probably for the first time. Hank walked in after about an hour. He said "play me a tune". We did a quick rendition of "Not all she seems". Hank then said "Mind if I join in for a jam?", we said "that's fine". It was a surreal moment. Hank B. Marvin twanging away as Pete Conway blasted out our finest song, all about the perils of being a transvestite prostitute.

Hank then showed us all his guitars "I used to have 300, but I sold most of them for charity, I'm down to about 50 now". My favourite was the Burns-Marvin, which they'd made specially for him "Look, it's serial number is BM-1". It was a beautiful guitar. On the way back to the station, I asked Hank a question which had been troubling me. "Mr Marvin, you are a Jehovah's Witness?" Hank replied "Yes, that's right". I said "I hope you don't mind me asking you a question". Hank replied "No, we're always pleased when people are interested in the religion". I said "Ok, do they let you off knocking on doors on a Sunday because you are so famous". Hank suddenly started to look a little embarrassed.He replied "Well I used to do that, it is part of the commitment you make as a member, everyone has to". He then went on "The trouble was that whenever I knocked on anyone's door, they thought it was Candid Camera playing a practical joke on them and no one would take it seriously. I'd stand there for half an hour trying to explain that there wasn't a camera crew over the road." He went on and explained that it was deemed best all round if he did other work for the church instead.

Hank then dropped us at Radlett Station and we got back to Mill Hill, went to the pub and got plastered. Paul Marvin plays a bit of guitar on the albums in the picture.