The Rog T Express takes shape !!!!!

I've had unprecedented interest in my scheme to take over the editorship of the Daily Express. Some of the idea's have gone down well, some haven't. Everyone likes the idea of freshening up the image, getting away from the same old, same old stories, and getting some new faces in.

As I had 5 minutes free, I thought I'd knock up my first test issue. Of course, I've not secured any advertising yet, so it's free of that and I don't have the fancy design team to make it look proper (or even the patience to spell check it, but that never harmed the Guardian in the good old days). This is just a hint as to how the front page might look and a taster to let you see what sort of stories you could expect. One big change. I've got rid of the Crusader as my logo. This has too many negative connotations for many of my target readers, being a symbol of imperialism. I've replaced it with a cucumber. This is because Cucumbers are cool. Sadly I haven't really secured the services of Beth Ditto or got three legged dogs on Page 3 either.

My good friend Derek, suggested that I should adopt the strategy employed in the film "The producers" and employ the worst team possible, to achieve an extraordinary success. Here's the team he suggested. Maybe he didn't realise just how serious I am in my offer to the Express to revive their fortunes.

Derek's "T" Team.

Environmental Editor - Jeremy Clarkson
Home Design - Pete Docherty
Cookery - Bear Grylls
Architecture - Bob The Builder
Womens Editor - Peter Stringfellow
City Editor - Sir Fred Goodwin
Football Editor - Sarah Ferguson
Racing Tips - Robert Runcie
Religious Editorial team - Ant and Dec
Boxing - Julian Clary
Celebrity Editor - Gordon Brown
Pub reviews - Harriet Harman

What do you think - A winning team?