Do me a favour please, next time you have a few moments when there is no one around and no distractions, Turn off the telly, radio, Alexa.Turn the light on, empty your mind and look at yourself in the mirror. Stare deep into your own eyes and count to 20. Then close your eyes and count to 20, try and think of nothing, then open them again and stare into your eyes for a count of 20.
What did you see? What did you think? Did you like what you saw? Did you feel comfortable? Did you notice anything? If anyone ever asks you what is the most important thing in your life, what is your answer? The answer should be "Me!". Not in a narcissistic, I am wonderful way though. Taking care of yourself, making time for yourself and staying healthy is the only way that any of the other things that matter to you will happen. Most parents I know will say "the wellbeing of my kids", but if you are not healthy and well, you are in no position to help them and ultimately you will be a burden on them. Some people I know will say music, football or Chinese vases from the Ming dynasty. But to appreciate any of these things you need to have the capacity to do this.
There is a huge difference between taking care of yourself and being narcissistic and selfish. I've always said that I'd throw myself under a bus to save my wife and kids. I believe it to be true. Most parents would say such a thing, however often we don't look after ourselves, which means when the bus comes, we won't be there. We had a family get together yesterday and I had a proper chinwag with a few cousins I rarely see. One of my cousins, who I've always got on very well with, has been having serious heart issues of late. He has always been the life and soul of the party and he was in good form. He was telling me that when he had a recent heart attack, he was on the cardiac ward and a younger guy in his 30's was in the bed next to him. The guy was having real difficulty coming to terms with the reality of his situation and was very down. My cousin told him not to be too downhearted, as they were having Karaoke on the ward later. He then started to sing. A few of the other patients joined in and they all burst out laughing. There is an old saying that laughter is the best medicine, but often we stifle it and are embarrassed. We need to embrace the moments in our life where we smile.
On Thursday, The False Dots had our first rehearsal of the year. It felt good to be making music again. When we play music, things like my age and ailments seem to disappear, I am transported to a very different place. There are times with the band that things just click. It is like all the power in the universe, all of the positive energy flows through you for a few minutes. It is a wonderful feeling. Nothing else has ever given me the same feeling. Sure there are wonderful things, amazing sensations, beautiful sights, exhillarating moments, but when you play music, you are in unison with other people and you create vibrations that will resonate for ever. That may sound a strange thing to say but the sound causes vibrations, which excite molecules. The energy may have started as a bacon sandwich, a KFC or a Cappucinno, but you digest that energy and turn it into a sound, which causes vibrations and energy. Energy does not dissipate, it just spreads out, like ripples in a pond, diminishing all the time, but the energy is still there, blending. It is a strange thought, but I believe that when we listen to music, the energy heals our soul. You don't need to play to appreciate music, but for me, the process of writings songs, arrangeing songs, rehearsing them and then playing them to an audience gives me a huge insight into more than just the process of creating music.
Our band has four different souces of sounds. There are voices, the sound is made by air from your lungs vibrating the vocal chords in your throat. Just think, four billion years of evolution (or God being a good bloke depending on your view) have conspired to make me able to sing ska and punk rock tunes. Not impressed? Well it also enabled Elvis Presley, Otis Redding, Amy Winehouse and Aretha Franklin to do the same thing, but infinitely better. Then there is Tom Hammonds trumpet. He blows into this, presses the valves and great sounds come out that compliment and are in tune and in harmonic resonance with my voice. Then there is my guitar and Fil Ross's bass guitar. Metal strings are plucked. These generate an electric current in a magnetic guitar pickup, that is amplified by an electronc device. Again, these frequencies need to resonate perfectly with my voice and Toms's trumpet. And finally, there are Graham Ramseys drums. Wood shells, with plastic skins, tightened to an exact pitch and beaten in perfect time with the rest of us. Each at it's own pitch. If we get it right, it sounds pretty good. There are zillions of combinations that we could do that would sound like a monstrous tuneless cacophony (you may think we still do), but when we get it right, magic happens.
But it can only happen if I stay healthy. If I don't look after myself, don't practice, don't stay physically capable of jumping around for an hour, it is all for nothing. The better I look after myself, the happier I am and the more I can do both for myself and my family and friends. This week, I went to two funerals. Both were for gentlemen who had lead full and fullfilled lives, in very different ways. One lived to a very old and ripe age, the other reached a very respectable age, but had battled cancer for twenty years. The battle hadn't dimmed his fire until the very end. During the eulogy, the celebrant said that his consultant had told him that he'd lived longer than anyone else on the planet with his condition. Why? He was bloody minded about the whole thing, but more than that because he loved life and had things he still wanted to do.
Back at the start of this blog, I asked you to do a little exercise. There is one little thing to add. Before you start, think of something you really want to do in your life. It can be anything. when you finish the above exercise, close your eyes for a couple of seconds, then open them again and tell yourself that you are going to do it, whatever it is. There is only one person that can stop you, that is the person you were looking at in the mirror. So JFDI!
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And me, what am I going to do? Well for me at the moment, it is this....
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