Thursday, 30 October 2025

Rock and Roll Stories #49 - Who wants to be a millionaire?

So here we are, three days before the next chapter in the five decade story of False Dots gigs. This Sunday, the band plays the latest in our series of gigs at The Dublin Castle. We have a little bit of history with the venue, I think it is fair to say that it is our favourite venue. They seem to like us too! We are playing with two cracking bands, Whelligan and The Double Nines. Come down if you can, it will be an amazing night

As we were rehearsing, on Monday, my mind drifted back to our first gig, back in December 1980. We passionately believed it was only a matter of time before we got signed and all became millionaires. Well, that was what I thought. Our then singer didn't, he never turned up! That put a bit of a spanner in the works. From the first moment of our first rehearsal back in February 1979, I knew that whatever I did or didn't do in my life, being in a band would be a big part of it. In the early days, it never occurred to me that we might not get signed and might not make it big. We always attracted an audience and they always seemed to enjoy themselves. We nearly always got asked back to venues by promoters. It seemed that we were always just one step away from 'the big break'. 

The band had all manner of offers, mostly from dodgy middlemen, who told us they'd make us millions. We wasted so much time listening to these chancers and missed so many real opportunities as they lead us down blind alleys. I can recall the moment when the penny dropped and I realised that it was all pie in the sky. Back in 1984, we had a brilliant band and we acquired a manager. We were promised a deal with EMI records. Then he stopped answering calls. Eventually I collared him and he told me that it wasn't happening. It was clear to me that if we couldn't succeed with that line up, we were never going to 'make it'. In truth, it was a liberation. I took six months out, did a song writing course, practised like mad on the guitar and then put a new line up of the band together. It was the first time since our first gig, that we were making music that we wanted to make, rather than working toward some goal, to impress some mythical A&R man, who would make us rich. I felt that with the musicians we had in the band, it had been imperative to have that dream. I realised that it wasn't what I wanted. What I wanted to do was to make music I liked and have the belief that other people might like it as well.

After my hiatus, when we unleashed the new sound on the public, it was clear to me that we were a very niche band. Some people loved it, some people hated it. No one said "Oh, its OK". Just as I felt we were getting somewhere, it all went wrong. Oddly, this was because we actually had a whiff of success. Our then new singer couldn't commit to the band in the way that we would need. It was so disheartening. We had an independent label that got what we were doing, and we had to walk away. C'est La vie! Although the label were small and low profile, they did offer us a roadmap to making a living. They explained that they loved 'Marmite bands'. If a band gets strong reactions, those who like it buy the records and buy the ethos. When a band is 'sort of ok' and everyone taps their toes but aren't moved, then no one buys the records. They wanted us to do some European gigs and a few recordings. When I mentioned this to the singer, he told me that it wasn't really feasible for him at that time. I think that was the moment the fire went out on the pipedream.

By then, I was 25. Things had moved on. Musical tastes and what was cool in music had moved on. The 1977 crop of punk and the 1979 Ska bands were no longer in fashion. The bands I liked, who had been playing big venues, had either split up or were playing to 50 people. It is really hard motivating yourself to play music, when no one will book you and no one comes along. 

But, the story didn't stop there. Like a phoenix the band rose from the ashes of crushed dreams. We were no longer chasing the dream or the bucks. We just started having a bit of a craic! The band morphed, morphed and then morphed again. Then in 2022, Tom Hammond joined us on trumpet and it all just fell into place. Sadly it was 40 years too late to make us millionaires, but bang on time in a lot of other ways. Tom turned up at a time when we were writing songs that his trumpet fits perfectly into. Not only that, but his personality also fits in well with Graham, Fil and myself. I am well past the phase in my life where I have pipe dreams of earning millions. But I am also shocked about how good we've become as a live act and also how good our recordings are. In the current world of streaming and youtube, we have attracted a large audience (by the standards of vinyl), but whereas selling 5,000 vinyl singles would give you a decent wad of cash, having 5,000 views on Youtube earns you about 50p. But I really do feel like I've won the lottery. To be able to play music you love to a small but loyal fan base is a real pleasure. And to be honest, if I'd earned a million when I was 19, I'd probably be dead by now!

And on to right now. We had a rehearsal on Monday night to run through the songs we will be performing at The Dublin Castle. It should be a great gig. We have THREE great guests jumping up with us. We have Derek Treadwell as a second Trumpet for the first two numbers. The band has been evolving our sound over the last couple of years and if you've not seen us for a while, I think you'll be very pleasantly surprise. Since Tom Hammond joined on trumpet, I think the whole sound is far more exciting and dynamic than it's been for a very long time and Derek adding to the sound really takes things to another level.

We also have Charlie Honderick jumping up to take vocals on Pusherman (I'm the man). Charlies is an amazing singer, who fronted two brilliant bands, Hamptons and Coach Hop. He sang the number back in 2007 with us. We recorded the song for a limited edition compilation CD we sold for charity at a fundraiser. The song has evolved a bit since then, we played it at a recent gig with Charlie and it went down a storm.

And finally, we have a true legend. Mr Ian "Griff" Griffiths jumping up on vocals as well. Griff is a legend. He's recently had a no 1 single and fronts a brilliant drivetime show on Rock and Roll Radio. It is an honour and a privilege to have him join use. We think you might enjoy it!




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