Don't worry, it is perfectly fine to dislike people!

 Last week, when I was on holiday, I surprised a friend we were away with, by expressing my intense dislike for a certain individual I know. There are various reasons why he was surprised, but the gist of what he said was that he'd never really heard me say such things about anyone. I generally keep my views to myself if I dislike someone and I think I regretted the fact that a few beers on holiday had loosened my tongue.

I was thinking about this yesterday. I am generally fairly forgiving. I try not to allow myself to get wound up and seek revenge or retribution (I was not always like this, but I have grown up a little over the years), but that doesn't mean I like everyone. Generally there are three reasons I dislike people. The first reason is I dislike bullies. The second is I dislike liars. The third is that they upset my kids (I am far more forgiving when they upset me, as I usually assume it was all my fault). To really dislike someone, they need to tick all three boxes. There are very few people who have managed that feat. As someone who was raised as a Roman Catholic, I always feel guilty about disliking people. The Good Lord taught us to "Love our enemies" and said that just loving your friends is something anyone can can do. I realised long ago that this was a high bar, one I could never possibly meet. In fact I struggled with the doctrine. If someone murdered one of my children,  I doubt I could forgive them, let alone love them and I would never judge anyone harshly for not having forgiveness in their heart.

Last week, I was reading about Donald Trump saying he'd like to meet the new Ayatollah of Iran. There was much comment about whether the Ayatollah would want anything to do with a man who ordered the murder of his father and much of his family. I am not a fan of the current Iranian regime, but as a human being, I think it must be a terrible situation, where you have no choice but to deal with the fact that your adversary murdered family members, but for the good of your nation you may have to cut a deal with them.

I have come to the conclusion that it is perfectly OK to dislike people, so long as there are grounds for it and your actions are fair. I have a few customers who I dislike, as they are rude, dishonest and bullies. But I am usually just an observer wathcing them act badly towards others. They pay their bills and life goes on. Which, I guess, is how it should be.