Come on England! My thoughts on the Englands chances

 I swore I wouldn't do this, but as I suspected I've got a bit wrapped up in it all. Holding the tournament in thhe orange ogre has not made me happy. If just about anyone else had been President I would have gone, but not with him there. My sister lives in the USA so I'd love to have visited.

But I cannot watch a game and not get involved. When it is England I simply have to watch. I didn't know what to expect. However, I was pretty sure that England had the best manager, and two of the best players in the tournament, as well as a solid back up cast. Like many tournaments, it started as a slow burner, but now we are at the business end of the tournament. There should be no jeopardy in the group phase for teams like England. This was the case. A commanding performance against Croatia set us up. A stutter against Ghana was unexpected, but didn't really matter. Panama was solid if unconvincing. 

So England started their knockout phase campaign. DR Congo were excellent, took the lead but Harry Kane came though with a brace. A pattern emerged. A poor first quarter. A stern talk and reorganisation from Tuchel and a vast improvement. So it was on to Mexico. A very difficult game with real jeopardy. Mexico were at a home, in a stadium that was not exactly lucky for England. But Bellingham stepped up.  Norway were up next. Once more a poor start by England and Belllingham stepping up.

And England find themselves in the semi final. They are up against Argentina. A country that hates us. A country with possibly the greatest footballer ever in the team. They cruised through an easy qualifying group with little problem. However the knockout games have all proven controversial, with highly iffy refereeing and a clear bias towards Argentina. It seems likely that Cape Verde, Egypt and Switzerland will be cheering England, feeling rather cheated. There is a perception that FIFA want Messi to win the tournament. It will be good for business. It will be in the back of the England players minds that they will get no favours. 

I normally have a feeling how things will go, this time I find it incredibly hard to call. I think England will need a superb performance and three goals to win. I think Messi will get a goal and maybe make one. But I also think we have Bellingham and Kane and they can make all the difference. I'm going to go 3-2 to England. However I do think that they will not get the run of the ball and that come the end of the night I may be feeling even more sick and disgusted than I did when Maradona scored the "Hand of God" goal. I just have this sickening vision of Infantino, Messi and Trump all poncing about waving the world cup on Sunday and saying that a clearly rigged tournament was the best ever.  I just hope I'm wrong. An Egyptian friend told me that he doesn't normally like England, but he hopes we win 8-0 and Messi gets sent off. 

Here's a bit of fun The False Dots put together. Enjoy!

 

Come on England, See us through! My thoughts on tonights game and the Englands performance in the Euro's

 So here we are. England are in the second final of the Euro's in a row. I am unlucky enough to remember the dark years on the 1970's, when England didn't even get through the qualifiers for the World cup and sat at home as "Ally's Army" represented Great Britain in Argentina. I was unlucky enough to be going through my 'teenage football fanatic' phase just as we hit rock bottom. Between about 1973 and 1981, I went to just about every England home game. England had some of the finest creative players on the planet. Stan Bowles, Tony Currie, Charlie George, Alan Hudson, Rodney Marsh, Peter Osgood and Frank Worthington were the players who lit up Match of The Day. Brian Clough was recognised as the finest English manager of the day, taking Nottingham Forest to two European Cups with provincial team Nottingham Forest. That was at a time when you had to be Champions to win it. But none of these players and Brian Clough never got a sniff. The FA wanted workmen and yes men not artists and mavericks. So we watched boring dirge and early exits. By the end of the 1970's, music had largely replaced football for me as my no one interest. That is not to say I didn't love football, always have always will, but if I had spare cash to spend, I'd rather spend it on guaranteed enjoyment watching The Specials, The Ramones, etc than an evening groaning and getting cross as England struggled to score against the likes of Lichenstein (no I know we didn't play them, it is a figure of speech). 1977 was the year I discovered music. Here are the England games I saw at Wembley

1977[edit]

9 FebruaryInternational friendly

England

0–2

Netherlands

London, England

30 March1978 FIFA World Cup qualification Group 2

England

5–0

Luxembourg

London, England

Belfast, Northern Ireland

31 MayHome Championship

England

0–1

Wales

London, England

4 JuneHome Championship

England

1–2

Scotland

London, England

Montevideo, Uruguay

7 SeptemberInternational friendly

England

0–0

Switzerland

London, England

At least we beat Luxembourg! Is it any wonder that When I saw The Ramones two days after we lost to Scotland, I decided that spending money on gigs rather than England was perhaps a wiser way to spend money. As my Dad would get me tickets from a mate who worked for the FA, I still went, but when his mate retired, I stopped going. I'd still watch the tournaments in hope, but it all that happened was I got cross, then sad. My mates went to the Italia 1980's Euros. They all got attacked by Italian thugs, then arrested and spent the night in the cells.  England were in a group with Belgium, Italy and Spain. They drew with Belgium, beat Spain and lost to Italy. They were eliminated. Both Spain and Belgium were not the forces they are now in world football. My mates came back having had a very eventful holiday. I was rather pleased I spent the money on gigs, sadly they were so good, I really can't recall who I saw, but I do remember chatting with my mates when they got back. In fairness, they had a blast, not because of the football, in spite of it. 

Although I played football regularly, I don't recall seeing an England match at Wembley between 1981 and when my son was old enough to go. When he was around eight and started to get interested in football (2008) we went to a few England games. This coincided with Fabio Capello and Roy Hodgson being manager. It was a pretty dire period. Not only that, but following the redevelopment, Wembley has become sterile and very overpriced. He decided that it was more fun watching Manchester City, so we decided that we'd spend our cash on that. Now of course, we watched tournaments at home. We'd get mates around, get excited as England had their inevitable false dawn of one good performance and then get knocked out. It just seemed to get worse. In 2016, when  Iceland knocked England out of the Euro's, we appointed Sam Allardyce. Some thought that his up and under style may put the passion back into football. As a Manchester City fan and a lover of flair, I thought it was a disaster. Teams like Spain and Portugal were light years ahead of us. The concept that you'd win with a cynical long ball game was insanity. Allardyce lasted one game, before falling foul of a newspaper sting operation, whilst drinking pints of wine. 

It seemed like no sane person would want to manage England. Who could England turn to in their hour of need? Step forward Gareth Southgate, initially installed as a caretaker. A man who had failed at Middlesborough. I quite liked Southgate. An honest player, who displayed a sense of humour, starring in self depreciating pizza ads after his infamous penalty miss. He also looks a bit like my mate Keith, so he must be OK. Appointing a caretaker seemed sensible, whilst England found someone, not only mad enough to do the job, but also good enough. Southgate steadied the ship. Results improved. At the end of his caretaker period, Southgate was appointred permanent manager. Despite the improvement, it seemed to me that England had reverted to the 1970's format of failure. Get a yes man and play dull pragmatic football and lose. 

To mine and perhaps just about everyone else's surprise, in the 2018 World cup, England reached the semi's. Harry Kane won the golden boot. In 2021, England made the fina of the Euro's, the first time we'd made a final since 1966 and lost narrowly to Italy on penalties. In 2022, they were knocked out by France in the quarter finals, but gave a good account of themselves. 

So here we are today, in the final of the Euro's again. Perhaps the nearest thing to a maverick left at home is Man City's Jack Grealish. I'd have taken him, but I am biased. The team is young and seem to have a sense of togetherness. They did not perform particularly well in the group stage, were lucky in the round of sixteen, but were the better team against the Netherlands. They were aided by some soft refereeing decisions, but as England have been on the end of some of the worst decisions ever (Hand of God, Ronald Koeman foul, etc), it is about time. 

We face Spain, easily the best team in the tournament. Although Spain are a seriously good team, they last won a major tournament in 2012, so the current team is not full of players that have been there and done it (unless you count the UEFA Nations League). England have a team of players that could do it. When I look at the teams on paper, I should be far more confident than I am. With the likes of Foden, Bellingham, Saka, Palmer, Kane, etc we have the potential to destroy any team. The defence has played well and most of the goals we've conceded have been worldies. The truth is that Spain have played like champions in every game and we haven't. The truth is that we all know how Spain will play. They wil be very good indeed. How will England play? I haven't got a clue. We could win 4-2 or we could lose 8-0. I can't see Spain failing to score. I can't see Spain giving us any time at the back and I can see Spain punishing mistakes. However, I can also see that Foden, Bellingham, Saka and Kane could punish Spain and if they find themselves up against it, we don't know how they will respond, because they've not been in that position at all. I can normally make a prediction and be pretty spot on, but I've no idea at all how we'll do. I do know that if we try and sit back, Spain will destroy us. But if we go for it and play to our potential, we have nothing to fear. 

Whatever happens, I genuinely believe that Gareth Southgate deserves a knighthood. He's had to take no end of stick. He's been a big factor in the development in a generation of amazing English footballers. But more than that, he's conducted himself with dignity. The way he's dealt with issues such as racism and hate has been an inspiration to all. He's brought a new culture to the England team.  I went to see Dear England, a fictionalised account of Southgate's tenure earlier in the year with my football buddies. It brought home to me just what a good job Southgate has done. If we lose, he will be battered by The Sun and the other hysterical media. They will forget all of the papers he's sold for them. If we win, the titles will say "Arise Sir Gareth". In sport, the only thing that really matters is winning. Coming second is the first losers. That is the truth of being an England manager. For Gareth to be mentioned in the same breath as Sir Alf, he needs to win. If he doesn't, he will simply be the top of the pile of also rans. I hope he does. I bumped into one of our local priests this morning in Tescos. We briefly discussed Southgate. I mentioned that given his record, it is a shame that he doesn't get the recognition he deserves. He reminded me of what Jesus said in St Marks Gospel ‘A prophet is only despised in his own country, among his own relations and in his own house’; and he could work no miracle there, though he cured a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith.'

And finally, all I can say is "COME ON ENGLAND" - here's a little number I put together for this moment

If you  want to sing along, here are the lyrics

COME ON ENGLAND

Summertime is here again, the Euros starts, let the football begin

Breakfast at a Bochum café, off to the game to watch us win,

The sun is high the wind is cold, smell of Bratwurst up my nose

Excitement builds. We’re ready to go, listen to the whistle blow

--

It doesn’t matter what you do, Come on England see us through

You know that it’s true, We are England, we’ll beat you

--

Football gets us through, in the green, White against blue,

Like a needle thread it through, beat them with the old 1-2

From outside, hear the roar, whether we win, lose or draw

Wear the shirt, wave the scarf, send their captain for an early bath

--

It doesn’t matter what you do, Come on England see us through

You know that it’s true, We are England, we’ll beat you

==

Its our purpose its our reason, Wembley Way every season

And our faith will never falter, worship at the England alter

-

Down the pub, with your mates, 3 o’clock or early or late

Sometimes sunny, sometimes rain, they turn up on a crowded train

Excitement builds we’re ready to go, the smell of lager up my nose

Gareth Southgate give us a wave, Come on England, gotta be brave

-         Chorus

It doesn’t matter what you do, Come on England see us through

You know that it’s true, We are England, we’ll beat you

Copyright 2024 - The False Dots 

Lyrics Roger Tichborne/Allen Ashley

It's coming home! Gareth Southgate gives us a wonderful evening!

 What were you doing last night at 8pm. I was in a sports bar near The Angel, with a group of friends. What a roller coaster we had. When the Netherlands scored, the whole place fell very flat. Then the penalty. As soon as we saw the playback and that there was a VAR review, we knew that it would be a penalty and that Harry Kane would do the business. From that moment on, it looked like there would only be one winner. One of my friends had put £10 on a 1-1 draw. Two minutes before the winner, I said "cash it in now". He could have had £50. I knew that we'd score. Palmer and Watkins had added another dimension to the team. I am not a Harry hater, but it was clear that we needed fresh legs. I felt sorry for Phil Foden coming off, he'd had a great game. When Watkins banged in the winner, the whole place erupted and the party started. Even the bouncer, who had the demeanor of the most miserable man in the universe cracked a smile. It was by far the best England performance of the tournament. England have been solid if uninspiring thus far, but last night they played with a degree of freedom that had been missing. Just about every player had their best game. It is worth noting that nearly every goal England have conceded has been a 'worldie'. Last night was no exception. As a football fan, all I can do is stand back and admire the strike from Simons. As admirable was the way he shrugged Declan Rice off the ball. Fortunately that one moment of brilliance was just about all that the The Netherlands had. One aspect of the win that made me very happy was the fact that the Dutch manager was Ronald Koeman. It was poetic justice and karma that he got knocked out, in no small part because of a rather soft penalty. We owed it to the cheating sod who should have been sent off in the 1994 World Cup before scoring the winner from a free kick. In truth his team didn't really turn up. 

And so, on to Sunday's final. Spain is an altogether tougher proposition than the Dutch. England need to be absolutely on top of their game to get anything. The Spanish are a brilliant team and they will not allow us the domination of possession and time on the ball that we had last night. But we have players that can hurt them. If Foden, Bellingham, Saka, Kane and co play as we know they can, then we have a very good chance of winning. We have to believe. 

The False Dots recorded a very special song to cheer England on. Have a listen! We think it's a rather good football anthem.

The Saturday List #429 - A list of all the gigs the False Dots have played in 45 years!

The False Dots did a rather spiffing gig on Sunday night, even if I do say so myself, at London's most iconic pub venue, The Dublin Castle in Camden Town. It was the 9th time we've played their in three years, a residency we've thourougly enjoyed. This time, the Dublin Castle enjoyed us so much, they asked us back this Saturday, the 22nd June for a very special gig, the 50th Birthday of Charly Records! We will be supporting iconic punk band, The Bollock Brothers who feture the legend that is Jock MacDonald on vocals. 

Every single gig The False Dots have played have been at small, independent grassroots venues. So it seems fit to celebrate by listing all of our gigs, ever! The Red Italics are not UK gigs. As you can see the band had some years where we were frantically busy, a few years where we weren't and a few big gaps, where we were doing other things.

1980

Our first ever gig after nearly two years of trying to get it together. Our singer, Pete Conway didn't show up! For these gigs, Craig Withecombe, myself (Roger Tichborne) and Paul Hircombe shared vocals duties. We decide to continue like this!

13 December  - The Harwood Hall, Mill Hill

1981

31 January - The Harwood Hall

18 February - Orange Hill School, Burnt Oak

13 March - Hendon Rugby Club (supporting The Chevrons)

3rd April - The Midland Arms (Supporting Way of The West)

18th July - Harwood Hall, Mill Hill

26th September - Kenton Jewish Youth Club (our drummer Mark Barnet was a member and got us a couple of well paid gigs here!)

18th October - Kenton Jewish Youth Club

1982 

We start 1982 with a bang, a tour of Scandinavia with The Gagget band!

13th January, Karsbygarden,  Norseborg  - Stockholm

15th January, The Underground club, Stockholm

16th January, Pub Bastun, Aland, Finland

19th January, Tumba Gymasium, Stockholm

20th January, Alby, Stockholm

7th March, The Moonlight Club, West Hampstead

27th August, Bell MCC Rally, Elstree

Around this time Eleanor Caine joined as a singer

26th November, Gooners Club, The Copper, Tower Bridge Road

1983

28th January, Gooners Club, The Copper, Tower Bridge Road

1st February, The Ad Lib Club, Kensington

23rd February, The Moonlight Club (supporting Tokyo Olympics)

15th March, The Tunnel Club Greenwich

26th March, Harrow Music Festival (daytime)

26th March, BACS Ltd (supporting David Anderson) 

8th April, The Moonlight Club, West Hampstead

Craig & Eleanor leave and Venessa Sagoe joins on vocals

26th August Bell MCC Rally, Elstree

16th September, Chequers MCC Rally, Cambridge

3rd October, Prince Albert, Golders Green

28th October Prowlers MCC Rally, Abbots Langley

18th December, Barnet College

1984

7th January, George IV, Kentish Town

26th February, Dingwalls, Camden Town

15th March, Bald Faced Stag, Burnt Oak

19th April, Bald Faced Stag Burnt Oak.

25th May, Bald Faced Stag, Burnt Oak

3rd July, Pindar of Wakefield (venue now The Water Rats), Kings Cross

2nd August, Grahame Park Festival

24 August, Hendon Rugby Club

3rd September, Watling Festival, Montrose Park

Vanessa Sagoe leaves the band

1985

Allen Ashley joins the band on vocals

12th July, Old Bull Arts Centre, Barnet

23rd November, Le Tiki Club, Belgium (supporting Soldier Bike)

30th November, Cricklwood Hotel, Cricklewood

13 December, Old Bull Arts Centre, Barnet

22nd December, The Three Hammers Pub, Mill Hill

Allen Ashley Leaves the band

1988

Neil Cox formerly of The Mods (appeared on the Mods Mayday album) joins on vocals

22 August - Mill Hill Music Complex Party

28th December, The Midland Arms (now Claddagh Ring), Hendon

1989

23rd February, The Midland Arms (now Claddagh Ring), Hendon

1990

Neil Cox leaves and Tony Robotham joins on vocals

19th May, St Josephs College

Tony Robotham leaves - The Band takes a short break from activity

2002

Fil Ross joins on guitar and vocals 

20th April, The Red Lion, Colindale

7th September, Mill Hill Music Complex Party

2nd November, Mill Hill Sports Club

20th December, The Three Hammers (Boz Boorer joined us on guitar)

2003

6 June, Mill Hill Music Festival, Mill Hill Sports Club

26th June, The Three Hammers Mill Hill

2005

1st June 1985, MHMF,Mill Hill Sports Club

2006

3rd November, Mill Hill Sports Club (Kate Nash was support act)

2007

8th June, MHMF, Mill Hill Sports Club

18th December, Mill Hill Music Complex Party

2008

3rd March, The Bull Theatre (supporting Lee Thompson & Chris Spedding band)

2009

15th December, The Claddagh Ring, Hendon

2010

Connie Abbe joins on Vocals

15th Februrary, Lock 17, Dingwalls, Camden

14th May, Mill Hill Sports Club

19th May, Fiddlers Elbow, Camden Town

15th June, Purple Turtle, Camden Town (supporting The Bollock Brother)

13 November, The Claddagh Ring

2011 

29th January, The Arts Depot, Finchely (supporting The Foundations)

27th June, MHMF, Mill Hill Sports Club

Connie Abbe leaves the band

2012

Allen Ashley rejoins the band on vocals, Fil Ross switches to Bass, long time bass player Paul Hircombe dies having quit in 2009 to become a career criminal. 

13 December, Friern Barnet Library (End of occupation party)

2013

11th October, The Bohemia (Occupation Party)

2014 

20th December, Midland Hotel, Hendon

2015

23rd May, Midland Hotel, Hendon

18th September, Midland Hotel, Hendon

6th November, Fiddlers Elbow (with Dell Richardson of Osibisa and The Black Doldrums)

19th December, Chandos Arms, Colindale

2016

29th April, Midland Hotel, Hendon

26th June, Chandos Arms, Colindale

21st October, Chandos Arms, Colindale

16th December, Midland Hotel, Hendon

2017

21 May, North Finchley Festival, Bohemia, Finchley

19th June, Jesterfest, Fortune Green

22nd September, The Bohemia, Finchley

9th December, Chandos Arms

2018

24th February, Midland Hotel, Hendon

12th May, Kings Head, Enfield

30th June, Mill Hill Town Square (daytime )

13th July, Midland Hotel, Hendon

13th October, Midland Hotel, Hendon

14th December, Mill Hill Rugby Club

2019

15th March, Midland Hotel, Hendon

19th June, MHMF, Adam and Eve, Mill Hill

19th November, Adam and Eve, Mill Hill

13 December, Midland Hotel, Hendon

2022

Allen Ashley leaves the band and Roger Tichborne takes over on vocals

11th June, Adam and Eve, Mill Hill

19th August, The Bohemia, Finchley

28th September, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town

23rd November, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town

2023

17th February, The Edgware Services Club, Burnt Oak

24th March, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town

6th May, The Mill Hill Services Club

15th September, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town ** Tom Hammond joins on Trumpet

28th The Old Bull Arts Centre, Barnet (with The Silencerz)

4th November, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town

23rd December, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town (supporting The London Sewage Company)

2024

3rd February, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town (The False Dots 45th Birthday Party)

23rd March, The Beehive, Bow ** Without Tom

13th April, The Bull Theatre, Barnet (supporting The Silencerz)

26th April, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town (supporting Skaface)

17th May, Mill Hill Music Complex Studios

30th May, The Horn of Plenty, St Albans

16th June, The Dublin Castle, Camden Town.

22nd June, The Dublin Castle (Charly Records 50th Birthday Party with The Bollock Brothers)  Without Tom

29th June East Barnet Festival (main band The Alan Warner Band) with Tom

6th July, Jesterfest, Fortune Green

Next Gig

17th November, The Dublin Castle

2024 has already become the joint busiest year for gigs since the band got back together in 2000 (to have a jam and record a few old numbers). We've already surpassed last years total of seven and we are only half way through the year!

We still have two to go to equal 1984, but we will be doing our best!

What is even better to hear is the response of the audiences. This was one comment posted on Instagram, saved for posterity. When you see comments like this and get the response they are talking about, it really does make it all seem worthwhile. 

Being a band on the grassroots circuit for 45 years is something of an achievement. One of  the comments we here time and time again is "Why have we never heard of you before?" from both young and old audience members. There are three reasons.

1. When we were young, we were always falling apart as band members came and went. Four times we were on the verge of deals and it all went pear shaped.

2. The sort of music we were playing was viewed "Last years thing" by 1983/4 when we really hit our peak and we were under constant pressure to blow with the wind. It was hard playing Ska/Punk when everyone wanted New Romantic music!

3. We were too naughty for many of the labels that looked at us. Although Rock and Roll music is supposed to be rebellious, apart from the punk explosion 1976-80, if you didn't play the game, they were not really interested in you. Anti war songs like Action Shock and songs sympathetic to transvestite prostitutes having relationships with Tory MP's, like Not All She Seems were just a  bit too edgy. I will never forget the look on an A&R guy from EMI's face when he said "That Not All She Seems tune is really catchy, what is it all about?" and I told him. 

We've mellowed a bit since then, but the energy is still there. 

We've just released a brand new single, to celebrate Englands participation in the Euro's. We hope you like it!

First published on the 23rd December 2023 and updated 18th June 2024