Showing posts with label misogynists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label misogynists. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 April 2023

Do misogynist bullies have really small dicks?

 It's a rhetorical question. Please do not send me pictures, one way or the other to prove me right or wrong. Having said that, I've always been someone who sticks up for my friends, even if they are Facebook/Twitter friends. I hate bullies. Always have and always will. Recently, I've seen more and more examples of really nasty, toxic attacks on female friends on Twitter and Facebook. This is really widespread but I will stick to a couple of examples. When I first stood as a Lib Dem candidate in 2010, I came across Brent Lib Dem councillors Alison Hopkins. Alison is what I consider to have been, in many ways, a perfect Lib Dem local councillor. A local who got involved because she wanted to improve her area. What I particularly like about Alison is she is quite blunt and quite funny. What I particularly like about Alison is that she has no truck with racists and misogynists and takes no prisoners when engging with trolls. However, the abuse she seems to get is quite sickening. Have a look at some of what she has to out up with, if you are interested - twitter.com/Hopkins_Alison/with_replies

Another Twitter friend is Lorraine King, who happens to be black and is a writer for The Daily Mirror. Like Alison (who she exchanges much banter with), she is more than capable of sticking the boot into racists and misogynists, who clearly seem to have nothing better to do than spend their life posting idiotic comments with the sole point of upsetting her. Again have a look if you want to see what she puts up with  - twitter.com/lorrainemking/with_replies

As I follow them, on occasion their jousts pop up on my timeline. What I find really interesting is that when I've felt the need to stick my oar into the Trolls, to stick up for people I like, the twats never come back at me. It seems that whilst they are more than happy to bully women, they feel far more reticent picking fights with a bloke. This is a pattern anyone who has seen bullies in any walk of life will be familiar with. Bullies always pick fights with people who they think won't fight back.

I recall a situation in Edgware in the early 1980's, where Nazi skinheads decided to ttack young Jewish kids on a night out in Edgware. What they didn't take into account was that some of the Jewish kids had brothers who'd been in the Israeli army and Dads who had spent decades fighting fascists. The net result was that they got comprehesively duffed up. I saw all this first hand, after a night in the Beehive. We were getting a KFC when all hell broke loose. A bunch of thugs started to attack a group of young Jewish kids, when out of nowhere a group of rather fit and very handy men stormed in and comprehensively beat the hell out of the thugs. Although I am someone who abhors violence, I couldn't help but chuckle to see such Twattery thwarted. 

Sadly on Twitter and facebook, there is no such comprehensive and decisive victory. The twats simply move on to someone they percieve as weaker.  I've studied psychology as a hobby for decades. It is always good to understand what motivates peoples behaviour and why they do the things they do. When I was at school and in the workplace, I noted that bullies are invariably rather inadequate people, who are not thriving in life. They seek to take out their frustations on those that they think they can get away with, so it is usually smaller kids, females and outsiders. Sometimes they band together to form little gangs. There is a degree of mutual support and affirmation, but it is all rather sad in reality. 

Which brings us to on line misogynistic trolls. When they take on strong and confident women such as Alison and Lorriane, they invariably lose the argument. Some skulk off. Some start pretending that they are trained killers. Some simply start a new profile and it all starts again. But sadly, as they all seem to be a bit thick, the outcome is the same. They look stupid. 

Which brings us to why. Well when I am out with friends, at a party, having dinner, watching a band, having a romantic night in, etc, the last thing I want to do is start fights with strangers on Twitter. So the first thing we conclude is that they have nothing better to do. They are sitting in their bedroom, madly bashing their keyboards. Then there is the misogynism. Why are people misogynistic? I know of no one who has been successful at having happy relationships with females who are overtly misogynist. I know quite a few guys, who act like that for a period when they are young and then learn that it gets you nowhere, if you want a successful adult relationship. In short, they grow up. Many of the trolls Alison and Lorraine have to endure are clearly not teenagers. They are grown men. There is no evidence at all on their twitter feed or anywhere else of any joy in their life at all. 

Now I posted the rather offensive title of this blog to grab your attention. Why do blokes end up sitting, on their own,  in their bedroom, night after night, looking for women to insult online? Why do they feel so embittered that that's all they can think to do? I'm sure the suggestion I made in the headline is wrong, so please enlighten me. Is there a better reason?

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Monday, 26 February 2018

Misogyny in the Barnet Conservatives - Would you stand by and let someone abuse your mum or granny?

Councillor Dr Devra Kay
 Dr Devra Kay
Over the years of writing this blog, I've made many friends and met many lovely people. Of all of them,  one of the nicest is veteran West Hendon Councillor Dr Devra Kay. Devra is a genuinely lovely, warm person. She got into politics to try and make her neighbourhood better, help her neighbours who didn't have the breaks in life she had, and to use the wealth of knowledge she has built up over the years. I've never known Devra to be malicious, nasty or unkind. Even when she disagrees with people, she is courteous and tries to be understanding of their viewpoint.

Just before Xmas, Devra invited myself and a group of other friends for dinner at her club in Pall Mall. I arrived early and we had a great chat in the bar before our other friends arrived. Devra told me that she was standing down as a councillor. I was shocked to hear this, as I know she loves helping people. I asked her why and she was reluctant to say at first. Initially she said "At my age, I don't need the hassle and there are many other things I want to do with my time". I didn't really buy this, I know Devra loves working for the community. So I pressed. As Devra is not one to be unkind and maybe sometimes thinks that it is partially "her fault", she was reticent to spell it out, but in short she told me that she was thoroughly sick of the misogynist, sexist atmosphere in the Town Hall at Barnet. She was simply sick and tired of the way that the male Barnet Tory Councillors, who run the authority, treat female councillors with a total lack of respect. I pressed her to name names. Not because I wanted to write a blog, but just so I could know who to keep an eye on. Devra did not want to say. She felt she may be being unfair as they may not even be conscious they are doing it.

Of course, the misogyny of the Barnet Tories is not something I'm unaware of. The cases of it are legion. My fellow blogger Mrs Angry has documented it on numerous occasions.  In 2014 she noted

"The misogyny of the male Tory councillors in Barnet is legendary, but worse still is the schoolboy sniggering that inevitably ensued in their ranks when Cllr Sodha, an older woman of Asian origin, would address a meeting. Her accent was the cause of amusement with the Tories - an atrocious habit which struck Mrs Angry with astonishment in the earliest days of writing this blog, watching them laugh when she pronounced words in a way which they found comical, in the way of someone still living in the era of 'It ain't half hot mum', and the 1970s mind set that is required thinking, if that is the word, for Barnet Tories.…"
Then there was the appalling case of when disgraced Ex Barnet Councillor Brian Coleman assaulted Cafe Owner Helen Michael in North Finchley. The local Tory Party refused to take any action against Coleman, even though he'd been arrested and charged. He was only suspended due to pressure from Central Office. Within a couple of years, he'd been readmitted to the Party. Now of course not all of the Barnet Conservatives are misogynists and when informed by the Barnet Eye, Tory Councillor, Gabriel Rozenberg, who is one of the decent Tories locally kicked up a fuss and had him slung out again, but the fact he was readmitted in the first place speaks volumes. The local Tories, eventually spun the story as an administrative mix up, but Coleman was well known and it defies belief that whoever processed the application didn't know exactly who he was (it's not as though they are inundated with membership requests). With regards to Devra Kay, Brian Coleman has been spreading lies and bile about her on Twitter. It does beg the question of whether he's been readmitted to the Tories, or whether he's doing a freelance hatchet job to help out his friends? Those tweets  caused a stern rebuke from well respected Labour Councillor Ross Houston.




 Coleman had previously insulted women in the public gallery, describing them as "Sad, mad hags".  The leader of the Barnet Tories, complacently said in response

“It was a difficult meeting where feelings ran high but an individual councillor has to be responsible for his or her words.  It is for Cllr Coleman to decide whether he wants to make an apology.”
“If you are a middle aged woman and you turn up to a public meeting should a councillor insult you just because you are a woman?   Hag is clearly a sexist word. I feel disgusted by it. It is just revolting. Would he refer to his mother as a hag? I should think not.”
That Tory Barnet Council, the authority of Great Britains first female PM could allow itself to be so stuck in the past with attitudes to women is beyond belief. One would think that the local Tories would realise that the 50% of voters are female and don't want to be treated as second class citizens. Sadly nothing could be further from the truth. I know of one male Tory councillor who refused to be photographed with his two Tory fellow ward councillors, as he didn't want to be pictured with women. 

Another Barnet Tory with a less than exemplary record is Mill Hill Councillor John Hart. The Barnet Times reported how he publicly mocked a female science teacher from Sri Lanka at a public meeting. The Time said
She said she had been asking a follow-up question at the Hendon Residents' Forum when Cllr Hart started mimicking her accent.
Would Councillor Hart do the same to a 6'5" Fijian Rugby player? I very much doubt it. 

Over the weekend, I was contacted again by Devra Kay. She asked my advice as to what I thought of the recent appalling behaviour by Tory Councillor Hugh Rayner towards her (as Adam Langleben describes here)


She told me that although had tweeted he'd apologised, she had not received his apology. 
Devra sent me the full transcript of her exchange with Councillor Rayner and explained the background to his outburst. She also confided in me that she had felt personally threatened. She was also incensed that the Mayor told veteran Lib Dem Councillor Jack Cohen off for trying to get the Mayor to force Rayner to apologise at the time and simply allowed Hugh Rayner to continue.

Whilst it is a postive sign that Hugh Rayner has publicly acknowledged the fact that he behaved in an awful manner, it shines a torch on the misogynist attitude that has forced Devra Kay to quit as a councillor. I wonder if the Tories see the resignation of a well loved councillor due to their appalling manners and behaviour as a victory? If  a councillor behaves so badly that he realises a public tweet is required, how on earth can the Mayor of Barnet not have been moved to intervene? It is quite frankly appalling.

Devra also told me of the treatment veteran Labour Councillor Agnes Slocombe has been receiving. Agnes clearly has a thick skin to take it, but it is clearly not acceptable. She said
"I have been at so many meetings with Agnes when she has had her hand up to speak before anyone else and keeps it up but is ignored by the Chairman. I have intervened and called out to the Chairman that Cllr Slocombe wants to speak and that she has had her hand up for some time while Agnes says to me that she must be invisible."
The time has come for things to change. With regards to the Mayor's inaction Devra said
 I am bound to compare the behaviour of the Mayor with that of the Speaker of the House of Commons during a recent PMQs when Shadow Foreign Secretary, Emily Thornberry, standing in for the Leader of the Opposition, was shouted down by the government benches. The Speaker intervened conclusively commenting that male members regularly shouted down women members and such behaviour could not be tolerated.  If the Mayor had done his job no ensuing action would be necessary.
The chair of the Conservative Party, Brandon Lewis said a new code of conduct would require people standing for Parliament to "behave responsibly and show respect" to others. I couldn't agree more. It would be good if the same applied to councillors. 
It seems that the Mayor and the Tory group are completely unaware of the Barnet Council Members' Code of Conduct (Paras from members code of conduct)

2(d) Treat others with respect

3(d) Discriminate against people on the grounds of race, gender, disability, religion or belief, sexual orientation and age

3 (e) Bully, intimidate or attempt to intimidate others.

You can hear the exchange between Councillor Rayner and Devra via the link in Adam Langleben's tweet. Do you think Councillor Rayner treated Councillor Kay with respect? Do you think the Conservative Mayor discharged his duty of care towards Councillor Kay to ensure that this code was upheld?

Let me finish with a little aside on my own view of sexism, misogyny and the behaviour of the Barnet Tories.

Many years ago, I had a conversation with my mum now dearly departed). Although my mother was a lifelong socialist, she knew former PM and Finchley MP Margaret Thatcher well through local charity work. Thatcher had even urged my mother to try and stand as a parliamentary candidate. She had told her that as she was intelligent and a hard worker, she'd do well. My mother asked her what it was like being a female MP. Thatcher had told her that Parliament was a boys club and that at times it could be awful, but once she realised that she was more intelligent and hard working than many of her male colleagues, she found she could cope and get things done. She told my mother that not a day went by when she didn't get some sort of (what we would call these days) a sexist comment. Thatcher learned to ignore these and often would turn them around on her tormentors. At the time of this conversation, Thatcher was not PM, she was an MP. No one dreamed that she'd become Prime Minister (I think the conversation was in 1972).

I asked my mother if she'd considered Thatchers suggestion. She told me that she had seriously thought about it. What had swung her mind to dismiss the idea was my father telling her that if someone tormented her in the way Thatcher described, he'd feel honour bound to punch their lights out. My father was a fiery Australian and  he worshipped my mum. She explained that my Father was a gentleman. He always treated women with respect. He believed that anyone who was discourteous, let alone abusive to a woman was a complete pig. My mother told me that she'd only ever heard him swear once, when he hit his thumb with a hammer. This surprised me because in the company of men, he swore like a trooper. I was raised to be respectful to women, most especially ones of an age. I believe that all decent men share this view. I happen to think that men who are abusive or violent towards women are sickening pigs.

On May 3rd, the people of Barnet have the opportunity to vote for councillors to represent them in the council chamber. Would you stand by and let someone abuse your mum or granny and intimidate them, to the point they gave up a job they loved? Would you stand by and let them bully your neighbours or friends mum or granny? When you cast your vote, please bear this in mind. 
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Sunday, 8 September 2013

Barnet Conservatives, sexism and misogyny

Yesterday I saw the following tweet from Louise Burfitt-Dons




As the Tories at the GLA have a state sponsored spin doctor, I immediately asked Louise if she supported this arrangement. I then decided to look at what she had to say on other issues. 

Louise is hoping to stand for the Conservative Party as a Euro MP candidate. You can read all about her views, they are quite interesting here http://www.louise4london.com/, I found her views on the role of feminism and women in the Conservative Party most interesting - http://conservativehome.blogs.com/platform/2013/05/louise.html.  As I read this article, I was intrigued to speculate as to what Louise might think of her Tory colleagues in the London Borough of Barnet Capitaville. Louise might be rather surprised to find that Barnet is a hotbed of sexism and misogyny. Last year we had then senior Tory Brian Coleman call female members of the public "two old hags" during a council meeting. Coleman was not reprimanded, in fact most of his male colleagues chuckled at this sexist comment. Later in the year, Coleman beat up local businesswoman Helen Michael. He was not censured by the local party. The affair became so embarrassing that the national party stepped in and suspended his membership. Coleman subsequently pleaded guilty to the assault. Not a single word of apology from the local Conservatives to Ms Michael has been spoken. The sexism is not just limited to senior levels. Local Tory blogger Daniel Hope (a former Tory Councillor, deselected from Brunswick Park ward for his inability to work with Councillor Tambourides) left a highly sexist and patronising comment on Twitter



The "Psychic Babs" he refers to is Barbara Horn-Jacobson. Barbara is the media spokesperson for the Barnet Alliance for Public Services. Barbara is a well qualified professional project manager. Hope seeks to belittle her and patronise her in such a sexist manner as he clearly lacks the wit or intelligence to actually have a counter argument to her criticisms of the local Conservative group policies. Like many sexist trolls on the internet, if a woman makes a sensible argument, Hope responds with sexist insults, belittling the intended victim, in a manner designed purely to intimidate them into shutting up.

It will not come as much of a surprise that both Coleman and his old mate Hope have worked together to gang up on poor unsuspecting locals, spreading all manner of inaccurate gossip and distortions, here is one such example, where they have monstered the North Finchley town team (a group including many community minded local people, with no political affiliation).



In her article Louise says
The majority of conservative voters who happen to be women tend to be pragmatic, realistic, family-friendly, perspicacious, and - if you consider putting the needs of their husbands, children or dependent relatives ahead of their own gratification and ego if and when the time calls for it – super smart. In this way the MAHM The group Mothers at Home Matter, which wants the Government to tax families on the basis of household, rather than the individual, have a strong point. They need support.
This is a fine aspiration, but while Barnet male chauvenist Tories such as Coleman and Hope continue their playground level insults, surely no sensible female Tory would consider voting for them. Helen Michael, who Brian Coleman assaulted is a highly intelligent business woman, as well as a mother of two. If the Barnet Tories had an ounce of common sense, they would have listened to her views on parking in 2011, when she first started campaigning. Instead they followed Coleman, who to the best of my knowledge has never run a business and has little experience of working in the private sector. As a result the Barnet Tories lost a potentially massive vote winning asset.

Louise is spot on with her analysis. The Tory Party needs successful women to engage with them, support them and work for them. To do this, they will have to cast out the trolls and treat women with respect. Whilst Coleman was eventually booted out (following his conviction), there has been no action or apology from the party for the his misogynistic behaviour. There have been no tweets from Barnet Tories disassociating themselves from Daniel Hope and his sexist and patronising comments. Much as I disagree with many aspects of Conservative philosophy, I cannot imagine that it is good for democracy for the largest political party in the country to be such a hostile environment for successful women. In Barnet, it is worth pointing out that perhaps the most highly respected Conservative Councillor is Kate Salinger. She is recognised as having integrity and being honest and trustworthy. She makes a good case for why the Conservatives should listen to Louise. I would suggest that if Louise wants to succeed in her mission, she would do well to have a behind closed doors meeting with some of her dinosaur colleagues in Barnet and let them know why they need to start living in the 21st Century.

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Saturday, 29 September 2012

Are the Barnet Tories a bunch of misogynists?

In a blog yesterday, Mrs Angry makes the accusation that the Barnet Tories are a bunch of misogynists. It is quite clear that they have a few people who are misogynists, but is Mrs Angry being fair? Lets look at the evidence. She has also regularly made the point that the few Tory councillors who are female are knocking on a bit.

It is clear that the Tories would benefit from a bit of new blood, but this is true of all three parties. To be fair to Richard Cornelius, he has only really had one opportunity under his leadership to select a candidate in a winnable ward and he selected a young muslim woman, who got soundly trounced. Perhaps even more alarming was the clear evidence of  a backlash against the selection from a large core of traditional Tory voters.

Another interesting point to consider is the fact that if the previous Leader, Lynne Hillan hadn't died of cancer, then Barnet Council would actually have a female leader still. I wondered how Ms Hillan would have reacted to Brian Coleman's hag jibe?

If we look at the key roles in Barnet there are 3 Tory MP's. One of these is a female -Theresa Villiers. Of the other two, Mike Freer is gay and in a civil partnership, so we can hardly tar Mike Freer with the "old school" label. In fact for all the criticism I have levelled at Mike Freer, the one thing I would never accuse him of is being insensetive to inclusivity.

The other post is the MEP, who is Marina Yannakoudis. She is a rather bright and bubbly personality and I don't think anyone would describe her as a misogynist.

The other post of note in Barnet is the Mayoralty. Last year it was Councillor Lisa Rutter, who is anything but a dull old fellow. This year the deputy Mayor is Councillor Kate Salinger. This position was clearly awarded by Richard Cornelius in an attempt to make amends for her appalling treatment over the expenses hike. It has been alleged that her treatment then was perhaps the premier example of misogynist Barnet, but given that Lynne Hillan was leader and in charge of the monstering, this seems a bit of a tenuous call.

In actual fact, I don't agree with Mrs Angry's analysis. I think the problem is a completely different one. I think that the Barnet Tories have lost the ability to attract talent. If you were a bright, young ambitious Tory, would you want to nail your banner to the Barnet Council mast? Not a week goes by without a scandal. At a recent GLA visit to North Finchley, I was talking to one of their press officers. I mentioned this blog and he said "Oh yes, I used to read it all the time". I was quite flattered. He then explained that this was because Brian Coleman was always featured. He gave me the distinct impression that his job was far easier now with Mr Dismore in the job.

Strangely enough, it wasn't awlays like this. The Barnet Tories used to be a hothouse for young talent. The Battersea MP, Jane Ellison was one example of a career launched in Barnet. Another example was Caroline Clapper, who defected to Hertsmere Council.

It is quite clear to me that the local Tory party are in deep doo doo. There is a distinct lack of activists who are coming through the ranks. As a result, they are getting a very low caliber of candidate. Even more worrying is the fact that the most talented councillors, such as Mark Shooter are pushed to the fringes, whilst intellectual lightweights such as Dan Thomas and Tom Davey rule the roost.

As to the current cabinet, there are also female members. Helena Hart is probably the most capable member of the cabinet. Sadly the other, Joanna Tambourides is completely hopeless and every time she speaks, shows just how out of her  depth she is.


So in total we have

MP's - 3 in total - 1 female (33%)
MEP's  -  1 -1 female (100%)
Council Cabinet 9 - 2 female (Less than 25%)
Tory Councillors - 37 - 9 female (less than 25%)
Mayor & Deputy 2 - 1 female (50%)

In my opinion, the root cause of this terrible underrepresentation is down to the fact that the proposition of being a Barnet Tory is not appealing. What sane and intelligent woman would want to have to set next to Brian Coleman as he foams at the mouth and calls people hags? What sane young woman would want to be the only one in the club under 50? I think that anyone wanting to make a name in politics (such as Jane Ellison did in the 1980's & 90's) would give Barnet a very wide berth.

And I think that it is time that the Leader, Richard Cornelius woke up to the fact that whilst he probably is horrified to be called misogynist by Mrs Angry, when he tolerates Brian Colemans behaviour and presides over a party with such massive under represenation of women, who make up 50% of the electorate, he really only has himself to blame for the charge.


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