How to avoid the sack !!!!

Most people get the boot for one reason. To save someone else's neck. If you've been caught with your hand in the till, don't read on because this doesn't apply to you - you deserve the boot !!!! As I said though, most people who will loose their job are not on the fiddle. They are sacrificial lambs, thrown on the scrapheap to either save someone's neck or line their pockets. Think of companies currently making people redundant - take RBS. Sir Fred Goodwin & his management team destroyed the company. He has a copperbottom pension and millions of pounds worth of shares. He kept his pension. How is it being paid for? redundancies

Closer to home, Barnet Council's leaders such as Mike Freer, who get generous allowances have seen three senior Council officers walk the plank in recent months. One for problems with Icelandic Investments, one for problems at Aerodrome Road and one for problems with regeneration. The man at the top Leo Bolland left for a better job and a payrise. Freer is still leader, he's been selected to be PPC for Finchley - not bad for a Council Leader with three major cock up's under his belt. Sacrifices have been made but not at the top. You see the lower down the food chain you are, the less you matter. The head honcho's only care while you are useful. The last useful thing many employee's do is lose their jobs to protect their superiors. If you work for an organisation such as Barnet, which is currently in the process of sacking sheltered housing wardens, to save a few quid read on.

By the time you are told you are losing your job it is too late. Your bosses don't care about you, so why should you care about them. Like all bullies, they pick on the weakest victims, those who will go quietly. What you need to do is make sure you have what you need to make them leave you alone. Here's my top 10 tips for avoiding the chop.

1. See what people have left on the printer/photocopier. You'll be amazed what you'll find. It might come in very useful one day.

2. Check the bins. People put all sorts of stuff in there which they'd rather you didn't see. Why let it go to be recycled, when it could save your job.

3. Keep an eye out for unusual activity. If bosses start behaving in an unusual manner, that is a sure sign something is up.

4. Look out for requests to document what you do. This is a sure sign that they are laying people off. Ask what they will do with the information. If they say it is "going in a spreadsheet" that is a sure sign.

5. Get the boss drunk. If he's under pressure, then he may spill the beans. When people are up to no good, they like a nice drink.

6. Don't tell anyone how to do your job. If the boss says everyone should be able to cover for each other, you should smell a rat.

7. If you work for the council and you find out that you are for the chop, leak the information to the press ASAP. Throw them off guard. Take the initiative.

8. Buy the people in HR a beer. If they are drunk, they might spill the beans. Note any indescretions they tell you and remind them of them the next day. You'll soon move to the back of the queue for the boot.

9. Buy a mobile phone with a camera and a record function. This could come in very useful.

10. If you've very lazy morals, sleep with the boss (or the head of HR). This will work wonders for your career prospects.

Of course all of the above strategies might go horribly wrong. If they do, don't blame me as I wasn't being serious. I would suggest that you keep your eye's and ears open. If there is a union, join it. If there isn't read up on your employment rights. Read your contract and make sure that you know what this entitles you to. If you've not got a Union, get advice from an organisation such as Citizens advice Bureau.