Tuesday 4 January 2011

A prestigious award for Councillor Brian Coleman

There was one award from the 2010 Barneteye awards, which I withheld until today. It is a very special award, which commemorates two of my all time heros.

First up, it commemorates footballer Gary Waddock. Gary's career contained spells at QPR, Millwall, Swindon and Luton. He was also manager at QPR, Aldershot and Wycombe Wanderers. He also made 21 appearances for the Republic of Ireland. Gary is an example of the fact that if you work hard, you don't have to be the greatest or most skillfull player to have a long and successful career in your chosen profession.

The other hero is Gareth Hunt, who played Mike Gambit in the New Avengers. Although perhaps not Laurence Olivier, he did get to play opposite Joanna Lumley's Purdey, which at the time was a job any kid my age would have died for.

In honour of these two behemoths of British culture, I have decided to create the "Waddock-Hunt" award. Now clearly no one in Barnet has had a long distinguished career in football and played a new avenger opposite Joanna Lumley, so our awards committee decided on a novel approach.

Now I can't take all the credit for creating this fantastic award. In fact it was originally devised by a group of brave London Firemen, who I happened to speak to last May whilst canvassing (oh how long ago that seems). One of them recognised me from the TV coverage of the Standards Committee and our conversation went like this.

Fireman : Aren't you the bloke who took Coleman to the Standards Committee
RT : Yeah
Fireman : Good on you mate, he had it coming
RT : Thanks
Fireman : How much did it cost him
RT : Ten Grand in legal fees, although he celebrated like he'd won an Oscar when he lost
Fireman : There's only one award I'd give him - Waddock-Hunt
RT : Yeah, I'll give him that award when I do me New Years honours list at the Barnet Eye
Fireman : Good on yer mate, tell him we'll come around and stick the award where .... (censored)

So that is the story of how this prestigious award was born.

Now it is normal practise for holders of an MBE or an OBE to be known as Sir Edward Heath OBE etc. As such, the Barnet Eye urges all readers to now refer to Brian Coleman using his newly bestowed title - forthwith he is Councillor Brian Coleman Waddock-Hunt.

Councillor Brian Coleman Waddock-Hunt is cordially invited to join the Barnet Eye and members of the London Fire Brigade to receive his commemorative pot noodle and  a £5 WH Smiths Book Voucher outside the Town Hall before the next meeting. If the good councillor can let us know the exact time, we will ensure a nice TV crew arrives, so his sponsors for this award can show the whole world just how good a job they think he's doing as chair of the London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority. It brings a tear to the eye to see a boss held in such esteem by his employees.

3 comments:

Citizen Barnet said...

Lol, Roger.

Did it cost BC 10 grand or did the residents pick up the tab in the end?

Rog T said...

If you believe the official response from Barnet Council, yes he paid the bill.

Mrs Angry said...

Ahem: would that be the same flavour Pot Noodle as found in Mrs Angry's One Barnet hamper, by any chance?