Saturday 12 March 2011

Brian Coleman looking for sex at Scratchwoods

Locals watching QI this week will have been intrigued to find out that HMS Belfast, the Battleship turned into a museum on the River Thames has it's guns trained on Scratchwoods Services. Why on earth would Scratchwoods be the target? One explanation could be they were trying to take out Councillor Brian Coleman, who performed a well documented tour of the area, allegedly looking for sex (purely in his professional capacity as a Councillor of course). Coleman disappointedly announced
I didn't get to see any sex. I was a bit miffed as I thought we'd at least see something
He added
There were lots of cars scattered about and people were peering at us through their windows which was fairly unsettling
I suspect that the fact he was visiting with a senior Police Officer may have hampered his fact finding. Interestingly enough there were adverts in the press this week saying that Scratchwoods would be closed for a forthcoming weekend. The reason? An Iranian festival. What a strange country we live in. Religious festivals are banned but dogging is perfectly legal.


APML said...

You cant beat a bit of dogging can you Brian !!!

APML said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
baarnett said...

Actually, if Brian could arrange to dig up some of the surface from the furthest, dubious parts of the "London Gateway" car park, and carry it in his taxi to repair the little-less-than-perfect stretches of our roads, then we may have a Win-Win situation.

This might be the sort of localised initiative that the nice Mr Pickles talks about in his Localism Bill, where central government gives away some of its powers to local, well, councillors like Brian, I suppose.