Raising the Pink Flag - Why homophobes are their own worst enemies

Some of the blogs I write are simply off the cuff, some spend weeks, months or even years gestating, because I feel I have something I have to say, and I want to get it right. I suspect that this blog is the one with the longest gestation period of them all. I've started it several times and abandoned it, as I felt I simply hadn't done the job properly. I was unhappy with the title, the content and the prevarication in what I said. Given the beatings, the murders, the lost job opportunities, the depression, the mental illness suffered by those on the sharp end of homophobia, I daresay that anyone who has suffered this will simply read the title and dismiss it as the work of an idiot. In many ways they'd be right to feel like this. I am not asking for sympathy for the thugs and idiots. Quite the opposite, but I have come to conclude that whilst the legal battle is won, there is still a lot of under the carpet problems and to address this, we really have to address the ignorance that lies at the heart of it.

I in no way expect anyone to agree with me, but for me, to live imprisoned in a wall of ignorance, hating and lashing out for no better reason than an illogical  need to interfere in other adults lives is a very poor existence indeed. Whilst I learned very early on to understand how racism was a very self defeating form of behaviour, in some ways homophobia is a slightly more difficult beast to pin down. In many ways, you only need to suffer it, if you are brave enough to be honest about who you are. It seems to me that when hard right religious types rant about other peoples lifestyles, they ignore the fact that honesty and truth are amongst the most important characteristics of the faiths they profess to follow. Is there anything more absurd than disliking someone for being honest about themselves.

What really got me thinking about this was a an interview with Colin Newman of Wire. Back in 1977, when I was a teenage punk rocker, Wire released their seminal debut album Pink Flag. I heard some tracks on the John Peel show and immediately bought it. I was at Finchley Catholic High School at the time, which had a highly homophobic atmosphere. I mentioned to a friend that I'd just bought the album. His response shocked me. He informed me, in rather colourful language that Wire were all gay and that the album was full of gay anthems. One of my favourite songs, 12XU mentioned the practise of Cottaging (gay men hooking up in public lavatories) and asked me if this love of the band reflected my own sexual leanings. As I thought Wire were brilliant, I decided, for my own safety, to keep Wire as a guilty pleasure.

A couple of months after, I saw them at The Marquee. They were about to release Chairs Missing, their second album and another masterpiece. Wire had an unusual habit of never playing old material.  As I hadn't heard the new material, that was rather different, I was initially disappointed, but by the end of the set, I realised that I'd been in the presence of geniuses. The only problem was that I really couldn't tell any of my school mates about what a great show I'd seen. I was heartened that the rest of the audience were also seemingly unperturbed. It was a huge lesson for me. I could either conform to stereotypical bigotry of my school mates, or I could base my choices on the talents of the artists. I made a conscious decision that I would take no interest in the colour, creed or sexuality of any artist. If I liked their music, that was enough for me. I wasn't going to put the works of Little Richard, Lou Reed, Dee Dee Ramone or The New York Dolls in the cultural dustbin just because of someone else's idiotic prejudices.

Things have changed a lot since 1977, and in regards to homophobia, very much for the better. I had completely forgotten about the conversation about Wire until we went to Biarritz, in the heady days of last autumn. One day, it was raining and we had been for a long walk. I was doing some net surfing, and I found an interview with Colin Newman of Wire, celebrating the 40th anniversary of their third album 154. It was fascinating. About half way through the interview, he made a statement that shocked me to my core. He started talking about the birth of his daughter and how his wife was none too impressed when he went out and got bladdered to celebrate. It had never, ever occurred to me that the information passed to me by my schoolmate at FCHS might have been wrong. I mean, an album called Pink Flag is a pretty clear symbol to a fifteen year old.

A horror took me over, one that chilled me to my bones. Just suppose, I'd succumbed to the herd mentality? I've probably seen Wire 20 or 30 times, I'd have missed that. Their first three albums are probably amongst the top ten in my collection  for times I've played them. They've probably been played thousands of times each (my wife dislikes them intensely, otherwise I'm sure they would have been played a million times). Then there are the other bands and artists that I'd have missed out on. The Tom Robinson band are another that springs to mind from that era. I loved 2468 Motorway and had a TRB badge. When they released Glad to Be Gay, I removed it from my jacket, more for reasons of personal safety than anything else, but I still maintained a love of the band, one of Londons best. Things have changed beyond recognition. Today, it would seem absurd to dislike a band for the sexuality of the artists. 

But homophobia has not gone away, it has just gone underground. Occasionally you will see evidence that it has raised its ugly head. The two young girls attacked on a London bus last year is one example that springs to mind. Whilst for those ingrained with prejudice, I suppose they might think missing out on great music and arts is a price worth paying for their idiocy, there is a fine example of why prejudice can ultimately destroy you.

I remember talking to my Father, who was  a World War II bomber pilot, about homophobia in the forces in the second world war. He gave me an interesting perspective. He said "When your life depends on it, you soon discard any prejudices you may have. You want the best possible people on your team, because your life depends on it". We were discussing Alan Turing. My Dad pointed out that Germany locked up gays in concentration camps. We just asked them to stay in the closet (not right, I hasten to add, but better than a gas chamber). As a result, Turing cracked the Enigma code and the Allies won the war.

The Nazi's were a despicable regime.  Their downfall was an exercise in what happens when you let stupidity and prejudice govern your decision making process. When you move away from fairness and towards discrimination, you move away from having the best person doing the job. When you don't have the best person doing the job, you have by default made your enemy stronger. You are your own worst enemy.

Why not find out why I love Wire here (and why Clare hates them)

Bizarre attempt to deselect Mike Freer MP for being Gay falls at first hurdle

Perhaps the most truly bizarre story to come out of Finchley and Golders Green Conservatives recently is the attempt to have Mike Freer MP deselected because he is gay. A rather strange and rambling email was sent to members of the Finchley and Golders Green Conservative Association, demanding Freer's deselection on grounds of his personal sexuality.

Now I personally could give you half a dozen good reasons why Mike Freer should be deselected, but his private life isn't one of them. I am pleased to say that the attempt failed, as the Conservative member who circulated the email quickly realised he was in a very small minority (by all accounts of about 1). Sadly I suspect that the person who organised the campaign has "issues". Let me reproduce the first line of his email

Dear All,                                                                      14/03/2011

At the Annual General Meeting I shall propose that Mike Freer should resign his position as Member of Parliament. I know that that I am making a futile gesture but it has to be made. I accept that Mike was a very good leader of the council and is a competent constituency MP.

I don't want to reproduce the rest of the email as it was clearly homophobic and inciteful. The person leading this campaign claimed that he was mislead about Freer's sexuality. I found this rather strange as Mike Freer has been open and honest about the fact that he is gay and in a civil partnership. If anyone had been interested enough to find out, they easily could have. When I was canvassing in the last Council elections, no one asked me what my sexuality was and I see no reason why it matters. That Freer had been open about it, surely was the end of the issue.

I am not going to name the person who sent it either, as I believe they need help, not public humiliation.


The initial email was followed yesterday by this :-

Dear All,                                                   17/03/2011

  For the good of the party I will resign membership at once. I regret the e-mail which was produced with the best of intentions but clearly has upset many people. It was a major failure of judgement and my departure is completely necessary. I remain a staunch supporter of the party and express my goodwill and best wishes to all members in the future.

Some principles are more important than party politics. It can only be for the greater good that this rather bizarre attempt to oust Freer was so convincingly stomped on and that the person leading the campaign was made to understand that such behaviour is not compatible with belonging to a serious political party. For once I applaud the Conservatives for giving the person responsible such short shrift.

The Barnet Eye Saturday Quiz : How Homophobic are you?

Nick Griffin, Leader of the BNP reckons that everyone goes Yuk when they see two gay people kissing.
This idea intrigued me, so I thought I'd let you test yourself with a "How Homophobic are you" quiz.

Usual Barnet Eye Quiz structure. For answer A - Ten points, B - Five Points and C - Zero Points.
Ten questions.
Results :- If you get 0 out of 100 you are probably Peter Tatchell and if you get 100 out of 100 You are probably Nick Griffin. If you get somewhere in the middle, then you are somewhere in between.

1. Should Homosexual sex between consenting Adults be illegal.

A - Yes Always, B - Only if they are ugly, C - Never

2. If a family member rang you from America and said they were coming on their honeymoon to visit you and would like to stay at your house. They then tell you their spouse is the same sex, would you

A - Slam down the phone with a stream of abuse, B - Say you'd love to see them and suggest a Hotel, C - Say great, stay as long as you like.

3. Would you enjoy watching a Film with two men kissing :-

A - No, I'd always turn off the channel, B - Yes, if it was a good film and the kiss was in Context, C - Yes, especially if it was a Gay Porn film.

4. If your son came out as Gay would you?

A - Cut all ties forever,  B - Support him, but be sad, C - be happy that he is able to share this with you

5. Would you feel uncomfortable if  your childs teacher was openly homosexual

A - Yes, I'd change school, B - No, but I'd be more vigilant, C - Not bothered at all

6. Your Best friend tells you they have been living a lie and are gay. Would you?

A -End the friendship immediately, B - stay in touch, but be less friendly, C - It would make no difference

7. You find your Grandads war diary. In it you read that he had a sexual relationship with another man and enjoyed it, Would you

A - Feel that he was a family disgrace, B - Not be bothered one way or the other, C - feel happy that he had enjoyed it

8. An openly gay person starts work with you. Do you?

A - Shun them as much as possible. B - treat them like anyone else. C - Think "Fantastic, we need some life in this place"

9. You go for a meal with your spouse. At the next table, two guys are on the next table openly but not noisily flirting. Do you?

A - Ask for a different table, B - carry on with dinner, it doesn't bother you, C - Listen intently to what they are up to

10 - Your child comes home and tells you they are in trouble for calling a class mate a "F**ing QU***". Do you?

A - Pat them on the head and double their pocket money, B - Tell them to behave in future and not use such horrible terms. C -  Call them a disgrace to the family and impose a harsh punishment.

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So how did you get on? I'm not going to make any suggestions at all, but I'd suggest that you think whether your score is what you'd hoped.

Brian Coleman, homophobia, bullying and emotional dyslexia

Following on from my post last week about the spat between Brian Coleman and John Biggs at the GLA, I've had a few emails which have cast a very interesting light on the personality of Brian Coleman and why he reacts in the way he does. This post isn't really about Mr Coleman at all, but in light of what I've read, I have to say my perception of him has changed somewhat. Scarlett did  a great blog about rejecting hate. This got me thinking. Brian Coleman is the same age as me - 47 - and he went to school a couple of miles from where I went. He was at QE Boys. Back in the 1970's when we both attended school, the environment was rather less benign for gays than it is today. I don't know what the atmosphere was like at QE boys, but at Finchley Catholic High School, it would have been virtually impossible to have been openly gay and not been on the end of sustained, vicious and extremely violent bullying. In the first year at school, one guy in our class got an erection in the changing rooms at PE. The result? He was beaten up and departed to St Ignatious. Our view of the situation as boys? We were pleased to be rid of him. In the fourth year, the school embarked on a sex education program. In one of the other classes in our year, the teacher told the boys that it was time to have a mature discussion about sex. He asked all the boys who regularly masterbate to put their hands up. One guy's hand shot straight up. To his horror, every other hand stayed down. He realised he'd made a terrible mistake. Within a couple of hours the word had gone round "Did you know that ***** ****** is a W**ker. He admitted it". Years later I discussed it with an old schoolmate and we both agreed that at the time our thought was "Why was he so stupid as to put his hand up" and that he deserved the hell he received on that basis alone. One of my best mates at Finchley and the guy who formed the band with me, Pete Conway, suffered 3 years of torment, as another guy had alleged that he sexually propositioned him. Pete was a very bright guy, but he had a terrible time. He was virtually shunned and he was seen as fair game for anyone who needed a punchbag. A couple of years after I left the school, I bumped into the guy who'd spread the rumour, in a pub. I asked him if what he'd said was true. As Pete had been his best mate at the time, it had been widely believed. He admitted he'd made the story up and said that he was ashamed of himself. He said that he'd said it as a joke and then felt he couldn't tell the truth. So if there are any ex Finchley boys out there who heard that story, now you know the truth.

I never, ever discussed the story with Pete. Our friendship effectively ended when he left the band in 1980. It's fair to say that he had a fair number of problems and issues. I attribute them all to the bullying he suffered. Having been raised in such a homophobic environment, it's fair to say that those attitudes were fairly deeply embedded in my personality when I left Finchley Catholic High School in 1978. I went to Orange Hill Senior High School to finish my education. That had a fair more liberal atmosphere. I was amazed to find that in our year, there was an openly gay guy who was accepted and not bullied at all (as far as I could see). At first, I couldn't understand how he was tolerated. I soon realised that maybe I was the one who had issues. Through music I soon met quite a few other openly gay people (which was a brave thing to be in the late 70's early 80's). One day, after a few beers, I asked about it. The answer shocked me "We'll you know how you look at attractive girls and get aroused? I don't, that happens with blokes instead". He went on to explain - "How would you feel if society insisted that you had sex with people you didn't find attractive and you were beaten up for just mentioning that you did find someone attractive. Would you feel that that was OK?". He went on to explain that most gays lead double lives, are hellishly miserable, try and suppress their feelings, take macho jobs where they can take their sexual frustrations out in other ways, often violently. He explained "Just suppose you were in constant fear that you'd get beaten up, because of the way you walk, talk, look at people, react to people. You soon learn to hide your emotions, suppress your feelings and erase all signs of your true nature to the outside world". He then explained (I don't know if this is true) that "Gay Rage" is an accepted defense in the courts of law. Basically, if you are a straight man and another man propositions you, you are allowed to beat them up, because you've suffered "Gay Rage".

What I hadn't really given any thought at all to, until I read a certain email I received recently, is what the long term effects of all this may be on the kids who were gay and were bullied at school. Brian Coleman is to be commended for the fact that he came out and is honest about his sexuality. What none of us can no for certain though, is how the repressive environment of the 70's would affect people. I was discussing this earlier in the week with a friend who is gay and they say that many gays develop a sort of "emotional dyslexia". In other words, they subconsciously misinterpret other people's actions and intentions as a form of defence mechanism. If you were worried about violence and bullying from people who may perceive you in a certain way, you automatically react in a very defensive/aggresive manner. You get your retaliation in first, be it verbally or physically.

Having thought very long and hard about this blog, and talked to a fair few people to sound out their opinions, the conclusions I have drawn are these. We can never allow schools to become places of violence, intolerance and bullying.  We have to, as a society, insist on the complete eradication of such behaviour. Playground insults for the bully pass as soon as they've left the lips. For the victim, they can last a lifetime. Next time I hear Brian Coleman sounding off at the British Olympic team, Lynne Featherstone or John Biggs, I'm afraid to say all I'll see is a small, vulnerable boy in a big school playground, desperately trying to fight off a bigger, nastier, scarier boy who has been tormenting the life out of him. I think that this is where the seeds of his behaviour were sown. What I had taken for so long to be arrogance, I actually now see as vulnerability. What I saw as rudeness I now see as defensiveness. Sadly in the case of Brian Coleman, I think that old axiom that "the biggest bullies were bullied themselves" is true.

I just hope we can move towards a society where we allow people to live their lives away from fear, hatred and persecution, whatever it's nature. I hope Brian Coleman reads this and the penny drops. He's a man of power and influence. The best way he could strike back at those playground bullies, is to work towards a fair and just society, where that little boy in the playground is happy and carefree.

A strange, lonely and troubling death?

The Daily Mail was at it's stupid, uncaring, crass worst yesterday. Jan Moir, that well known, high profile, top reporter, who I'd never heard of until yesterday, and hope I never hear of again, wrote this article about the death of Stephen Gately. Let me quote a couple of paragraphs.

Gay activists are always calling for tolerance and understanding about same-sex relationships, arguing that they are just the same as heterosexual marriages. Not everyone, they say, is like George Michael. Of course, in many cases this may be true. Yet the recent death of Kevin McGee, the former husband of Little Britain star Matt Lucas, and now the dubious events of Gately's last night raise troubling questions about what happened.

Moir draws attention to his "sad, lonely death on the sofa" whilst his partner was elsewhere engaged with a young man they'd met whilst out at a club. This really offends me. In Moir's terms, my own dear Dad had a "sad lonely death". He got up in the night, aged 69, after 43 years of happy marriage. He went downstairs, sat on the sofa and had a heart attack. Mum was up in bed. Gately was no more sad or lonely when he died than my Dad. He probably, rather like my Dad, felt unwell and thought he'd sit on the couch. Like my Dad his heart packed up. In my Dad's case, the post mortem said that in all probability a lifetime of smoking and drinking had weakened his heart. When I read the comments about Gately - he may have smoked a joint -I thought " what right has this woman got to stick the knife in, in a national newspaper". Sure it's a free country, but you have to ask why a paper such as the Daily Mail publishes such tripe. What is there agenda?

About 16 years ago, I had a split with my partner (now my wife) for a while. A friend of mine also went through a split. He found himself homeless. I had a spare room and he lodged with me for a period of 6 months whilst he got himself on his feet. Our lifestyle was one where we'd go to the pub every night, drink ourselves silly, then quite often come home and drink lots more beer. Often we'd meet friends up the pub who would come back for an extended drinking session. There was no sexual element to our friendship, but I couldn't help thinking what Jan Moir would have said if one of us had conked out on the couch after a heavy session. There would probably be all sorts of innuendo, supposition and rumour. What would our friends and family have thought if we'd read this? That's what upsets me about the comments about Gately. Sure Gately and his partner were gay, sure they met a guy and he came back. That much is public record. What else happened? I don't know and I don't care. For all I know, they drunk a load more beer and conked out, completely comatose, then woke to find Gately dead. The point is that it is there business.

As to the effect of Gately's lifestyle. Like my fathers years of smoking and drinking, it was his business. He brought happiness to many people. By all accounts, he was a nice guy. We all have demons. Unlike the pompous, self righteous Moir, I try not to judge people. She ends here article with this comment :-

For once again, under the carapace of glittering, hedonistic celebrity, the ooze of a very different and more dangerous lifestyle has seeped out for all to see.

In my opinion, you can draw a completely different conclusion. My conclusion is that when young men, both straight and gay, go out and enjoy themselves, occasionally something tragic and unforeseen happens.

In my life, I've had many, many nights out which, but for the grace of God, could have ended in a similar tragedy for me or one of my friends, due to extreme excess. I don't lead a "hedonistic celebrity" lifestyle, I just enjoy a good night out. I suspect most of us are the same.Shame on Moir, Shame on the Daily Mail.

The funniest story I've read all week.

Check this story out. It certainly made me laugh. The video clip is also a cracker.


http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20091007/tuk-yobs-floored-by-cage-fighters-in-dra-45dbed5.html

It certainly seems to me to be a far more effective method of dealing with these sort of twats than this

http://www.edgware-today.co.uk/tn/News.cfm?id=39358&headline=Officer%20pledges%20strong%20ties%20to%20gay%20and%20lesbian%20community

But hey, what do I know about anything

Daily Mail Blows a Gasket over Romeo and Julian

Are you Straight - Will this image turn you gay?

It seems the Daily Mail has blown a gasket over a school putting on a version of Romeo and Juliet with a gay slant -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1156534/Wherefore-art-thou-Julian-School-performs-Romeo-Julian-celebrate-gay-history-month.html

"Political Madness gone mad" they shriek. We all know that the Daily Mail is shall we say, a bit reactionary, but hang on. Do they actually know the story of Romeo and Juliet? Forbidden Love ends in tragedy. Apparently the pupils themselves put on the play to counteract bullying. Does the Mail support homophobic bullying? My Dad, who was a rather- Heterosexual ex Air Force Pilot made me watch "The Naked Civil Servant" - The Life Story of Quenten Crisp in the 1970's. Why? Because it had good reviews and he thought it would teach me something about a side of life which I knew nothing. Did it turn me gay? No. A mate of mine who swings that way told me that when he came out, his brother insisted he watch some hard core porn to cure him. Did it work? No

The Mail are clearly unaware of the message of Shakespeares play. That if you fall in love with someone you shouldn't have, you are in for a hard time. If you get offended by that you are an idiot.

At the Top of this page I've put a picture of Lenny Henry playing Juliet for Comic relief. Will it turn a straight man gay? I've put a picture of Debbie Harry at the bottom of the page. Does it for me, but will it turn a gay man straight? In the wonderful world of the Daily Mail, it probably will.

Are you Gay - Will this image straighten you out?

Out fishing with Barnet's Gay Mafia

If tomorrow's newspaper headline's say "Today Rog T sleeps with the fishes" you will know that everything I've written below is rubbish. One of the dangers of blogging with a fairly easy trail to who you really are is that you sometimes get some rather strange people emailing you. Now I'm fairly thick skinned and as soon as I get some quality rubbish, the spam filter is updated and the delete key is used. That way I only have to read one lot of rubbish and all subsequent efforts are purely a waste of time for the senders.

There seems to be one correspondent who has gone to extraordinary lengths to make their point, so I thought I really ought to use this opportunity to set the record completely straight (pardon the pun). The first communication I had was in the halcyon days of my blog at the Edgware Times. The email asked me what I was going to do about Barnet's gay mafia. It then went on to list several councillors and some of the positions of trust that they had (such as President of the local scouts). The implication was that I should use my blog to lead a crusade against these councillors from my blog and get "decent people" running the council again.

Now much as I wish that my trusty blogs had the power to dismiss councillors at will, I think that amongst the many delusions the writer of the email had, was one that a blog by me would change anything. I have a simple policy of ignoring all "crank" emails so it went straight to the trash. A couple of weeks later I got a follow up email. Same subject, same tone, same result. The third in the sequence was a little bit different. This one had a slightly threatening tone. It was clear that I was a coward, maybe I was a closeted homosexual, maybe I wasn't what I seemed. I was clearly like all of those other gutless people in the press. Now if you reply to nutcases, you just encourage them, so that was yet again ignored. The fourth email in the series informed me I was being watched and they had information which would expose me (for what I know not). Anyway it all went quiet then. That was until a couple of weeks ago.

My friendly neighbourhood nutcase sent me an email to gloat at my sacking from the Times as a blogger. He suggested that if I'd exposed Barnet Council's gay mafia, I'd have done a huge public service and Phil Crowther would have been too scared to have sacked me. I was very tempted to email back and suggest he discuss this with Phil Crowther at the Times, but as I said, if you respond you only encourage them.

Anyway I got another one last week. This time there was a complete change of tone. It seems that I'm a gutless hypocrite because I say I'm a Roman Catholic, but I won't expose the gay mafia. I claim to be "one of the boys" by liking football and beer, but I clearly swing the other way as I am not "totally disgusted by the morals and behaviour of ......". It appears that as I "confessed" in my Times blog that a friend of mine was gay and I'd even had a beer with him once, there was "undeniable proof". It was also "clear that I had been suffering from AIDS since 1984"(clearly I should get in touch with the Guiness book of records for survival). The best comment of all was that my clear dislike of two rather high profile Barnet Councillors was clearly the result of "past lovers tiffs".

So there you go. Well I suppose it is a theory, up there with the flat earth and Lamarkian evolution. The latest email, I received yesterday. It berated me yet again for all my many failings (see above) and made a veiled threat that unless I exposed the Gay Mafia at Barnet Council, some terrible thing would happen. It challenged me as to why I'd expended thousands of words deriding the policies of certain promonant Barnet Councillors, but had never mentioned once the fact that they are gay.

Well, the reason is quite simple. It really has nothing to do with their ability to do their jobs. I don't care what any of them do in private and it's none of my business. I am quite happy to expose anything which is against the interests of the people living in Barnet but poking around in people's private lives is not what I do.

If anyone out there gives a monkey's, then google "gay barnet councilor" and see what you get. You can also check their list of members interests and all that sort of stuff. I really don't care. You may wonder why I haven't named any of these councilors here. Most of you probably know who they are anyway, they are quite open, so why? Well purely to wind up my trusty emailer. You see that whilst he thinks the fact that the bloke responsible for the management of the Darland Lake Management committee (apologies if the title is incorrect) is gay is a massive issue, to the rest of us the issue is whether he manages Darlands Lake properly. End of Story.

So why have I chosen to post this piece after all of the many ignored emails. Well I have a little theory of my own. Let me share it. Now I'm married, been in a long term relationship for many a year. I've got children and I'm a Roman Catholic. I subscribe to the "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" brand of religion. Now I haven't had any homosexual relationships, for the simple reason that I don't fancy guys and I love women. If you want to choose to believe otherwise, that's really up to you - I'd be more upset though, if you thought I was a closet Manchester United fan.

The point is I feel pretty secure in who I am. The guy I trust most in all the world is gay - who is he? He's the guy who mends my guitar amplifier when it goes bang. If he makes a mistake I could fry. He's a good pal and yes I have a beer with him sometimes, for what it's worth. What do we discuss over the beer? Guitars & Music, rather like I do with most of my other muso mates.

Reading the rants from my trusty emailer, I detect a strange undertone. Almost looking for some sign. Why could this be? Let me tell you, I suspect that our emailer is a repressed gay. His disgust is actually directed at his own cowardice. He assumes everyone else must have the same issues (in spite of the evidence). It would never occur to me to draw conclusions about someone in the way he does, so why does he? It reminded me of the strange case of the Austrian National Front leaders hidden love affair. Often the reason various ...phobes have their prejudices is they actually can't come to terms with their own feelings and sexuality.

Anyway, this will be the first last and only message I have for you - seek professional help and get a life. Let the rest of us live ours the way we choose. Oh and if the people who our friendly neighbourhood nutter named really were a proper mafia as he alleges, I'd have been sleeping with the fishes long ago !