The Baby Jesus was an Asylum Seeker

Yet again the right wing tabloid press bombard us with stories of a forthcoming apocalypse of immigrants. The current flavour of the month for immigrant bashing are Romanians and Bulgarians, who will shortly have a legal right to come and live in the UK. They seem to have usurped Asylum Seekers as the target for bile in the right wing press. The Daily Mail has several immigration related stories on their website this morning

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2530928/Dont-lift-border-controls-grassroots-Tories-beg-Cameron-Activists-say-risk-social-unrest-PM-doesnt-tear-plans.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2531051/Senior-Roma-says-Britain-concerned-bankers-stealing-billions-surge-street-beggars-Eastern-Europe.html


The recurrent theme is that "immigrants are bad". We are encouraged to begrudge immigrants the right to free treatment in A&E departments in one of the Daily Mail stories. The Mail are telling me that if someone moves to the UK, perfectly legally, from Romania to work, perfectly legally, contributing to the UK economy and GDP, they should be denied healthcare if they get run over? The Mail gloats

Migrants who go to A&E will be billed between £20 and £100 for a consultation, on top of the cost of their treatment – with staff presenting chip-and-pin machines at their bedsides.

Whilst I am sure that many Mail readers will be bashing one out in an excited frenzy at such news, I find it appalling. For many years the bogeymen of the right were Asylum Seekers. I often wonder what spin the Daily Mail would have put on the biblical story of Joseph and Mary taking the baby Jesus to Egypt, to escape Herod's Slaughter of the innocents. Here is my stab at how the Cairo Daily Mail (circa 0AD) may have covered the story (we must of course recall that the Daily Mail has a bit of history for being anti semitic, supporting Hitler in the 1930's). Something like this?

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The Cairo Daily Mail has uncovered an incredible story of dodgy Asylum seekers from Israel. It wasn't so long ago that the Jews were only too keen to turn their back on Egyptian hospitality, under the radical cleric Moses. Now it seems the Land of Milk and Honey isn't so sweet. The Cairo Daily Mail was shocked to learn of the story of a Mr Joseph Davidson, a Jew from Bethlehem, who recently arrived in Cairo. Customs officials found a large amount of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh in his position. Mr Davidson claimed that "Three Kings had turned up from the East and given it to his son". On questioning, it transpired that the woman Mary, travelling with Mr Davidson wasn't actually his wife. When questioned Mr Davidson admitted that the baby wasn't even his child. He told customs officials that "an Angel of the Lord nipped round, whilst I was making a table for Avi Cohen". When questioned as to how he could believe such a cock and bull story , Mr Davidson said "I had a dream where an Angel told me it was OK". Customs officials are currently testing the large stash of Frankincense, to see if it actually something stronger.

When asked why he'd brought his 'family' to Cairo, Mr Davidson said that the angel of the Lord had told him to escape persecution by King Herod, whilst him and his girlfriend were squatting in a barn with the baby. When customs officials asked why King Herod would be bothered about a carpenter and his mistress, Mr Davidson replied that he was scared because the baby was the rightful king of the Jews. Mr Davidson explained that King Herod and his army were terrified that the baby would kick them out of their palace. Customs officials suggested that maybe Mr Davidson was more concerned with undercutting local tradesmen and taking advantage of the Egyptian medical and social security systems.

Ever since lax border controls were brought in under the left wing administration of Cleopatra, Egypt has been swamped with foreigners. There are no longer proper border controls, allowing the likes of Davidson to turn up and simply live here, taking jobs from skilled Cairo craftsmen. Doubtless this baby will put a further strain on the oversubscribed Cairo schools and Mary will soon be off looking for other "Angels" whilst Mr Davidson is round fixing the Pharoah's table leg. Whilst the story of "Dodgy Davidson" and his "modern family" will soon be forgotten, Egypt will be permanently ruined by these dodgy foreigners and asylum seekers if something isn't done.

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Nothing really changes, does it?

Samantha Brick ? Is this cockney Rhyming slang

According to the Daily Mail, it's writer Samantha Brick has become an internet sensation (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html?ito=feeds-newsxml). Why? Because she seems to think there is a downside to being drop dead gorgeous. She whines that it gets really tiresome receiving bunches of flowers from strangers. She claims all her female friends have become paranoid in her company. She lists a whole host of scenarios where her good looks have resulted in tension.

I know exactly what she means. Being drop dead gorgeous myself, I regularly find myself being propositioned in the street by strange women. I have always found this mildly irritating and had put it down to having to commute through a red light area, but reading Samantha's article I do empathise. Only today a very attractive young lady in a shop told me I had beautiful eyes. Now if I wasn't so drop dead gorgeous, I may have been cynical and thought the compliment may have been because I  was discussing spending a thousand quid in her shop, but hey ho, it all makes sense now.

Another highly annoying thing happened last night in Marks and Spencers. There I was queueing up in a long queue at a checkout, when a gorgeous young girl caught my eye. She proceeded to open up another till and beckon me over. As I arrived with my basket laden with bagels, smoked salmon and a nice bottle of wine, she said "I love smoked salmon bagels and that wine is nice as well". She then said "would you like a 5p bag". Now me being a bit naive, hadn't thought that this was probably a euphamism. After I put my card in the reader, she suggestively asked "would you like some cashback". It could have been my lucky night.

Like Samantha, I had another really annoying experience on a flight. I had to fly first class to Washington DC last year on business. Those naughty US airways stewardesses kept coming up and giving me free drinks. One asked me if I was enjoying the flight, I replied that it was a fine. She said "We'll if there is ANYTHING I can do to help, just grab me"

Luckily for me, Men are far more forgiving of adonis like friends than women are. I once asked a friend how he could cope with having such a handsome friend. He replied "Have you looked in the mirror lately mate ". I hadn't so I was glad that he'd reminded me to take a quick peek at my lovely profile.

As I wrote this blog, I asked my wife how she coped with living with someone as handsome as me". She seems to be managing fine. She replied "I'll ignore that comment"

I must confess that I was rather disappointed to see that the Daily Mail had gone to the trouble of finding a poor picture of Ms Brick, where she looked rather average really. Clearly, they felt that their readers were not ready for the full loveliness of a decent picture. I was reminded of many years ago, when I was living with an Ex. A flatmate of ours had a friend who was completely up herself, who my ex lovingly christened "pricknose". Pricknose would regale anyone who was prepared to listen that men found her irrisistable. She warned my ex not to leave me alone with her, because it may have been the end of a friendship. The ex mentioned this to me. I asked the ex "Who is she going out with?" - She replied "Doug (not his real name)". I then said "And who was she going out with before that". She replied "Chris". I then said "Just suppose you were totally irresistable to any man, would you have gone out with Doug and Chris?". She replied "no". (whilst "Doug" and "Chris" were lovely chaps, they were neither millionaires or shall we say, lookers).

Although I don't know Ms Samantha Brick, I'd suggest that if she was a little bit less into herself an a little bit less into being the centre of attention, she'd have a few less social issues. There is truly nothing worse than a self obsessed prima donna who clearly has no sense of humour whatsoever.

Mind you, it's exactly the high quality of journalism we have come to expect from the Daily Mail, I just can't believe people get paid to write such crap and I'm even more amazed that people buy it

Richard Littlejohn slates FBF Brian Coleman for shafting local businesses

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-1359347/What-earth-Call-Me-Dave-Cameron-doing-Egypt.html

Richard Littlejohn today exposes the way Brian Coleman is shafting small businesses and local restaurants with his parking changes and charges. Littlejohn states that he will no longer use his favourite chippy in Finchley (Two Brothers) because Coleman has moved to a pay by mobile phone for much of the Boroughs parking. Littlejohn states that he "can't be bothered with it". He's not the only one. Not everyone has mobile phones, many elderly people use them purely for making emergency phonecalls, being bamboozled by the other features.

The bottom line is that in the middle of a recession, it is yet another kick in the teeth for small business. Brian Coleman is rather keen on many of the restaurants in Barnet. I hope that those who have been hit by these changes don't take revenge in the time honoured manner, when a customer upsets them.

Daily Mail Special Offer : A free lobotomy for every femail reader !!!!!

I don't always find the Daily Mail revolting, nope not by a long chalk. I only ever find it revolting and repulsive when I read it. Most of the time, I just pretend that it doesn't exist. That way I can delude myself that this horrible rag isn't an insidious poison in our society. The thing I find most revolting is its crusade to stifle female ambition. To me, the Femail section of the horrible rag is tantamount to a cross between heroin addiction and brain cancer. I don't say that lightly. It proselatises for the creed of zero ambition, zero life choices and zero intelligence for its women readers. If you want to be happy, get a crap job or even better no job at all. Find a nice man to make all of your decisions, fund your pension, pay for your hairdos.

In short, the Daily Mail is the propoganda rag for the advocates for stepford wives.I read one of the most offensive articles ever in the awful rag today.  Here's a few choice quotes from this article in the Femail section :-

'Sure, you might have a gold card, but you've maxed it out buying things you can't afford and that you don't even need, trying to fill a void that just can't be filled. You numb your discontentment every night with gin and tonics.'

'I was living the dream. The word "senior" was emblazoned on my business card, my passport was full of stamps and I had a designer wardrobe and matching appliances. All this was supposed to make me happy, but I'd lost my passion, purpose and sense of meaning.'

'far from fuelling our ambition, it seems that the current economic crisis is only compounding our sense that status, success and money are a fool's gold.'

As ever, the Mail is peddling a myth that the only way a woman can be truly happy is to be entirely free of ambition. Sure, there are plenty of women who this may make happy, but there are plenty who it doesn't. There are plenty trapped in dead end jobs or in dead end relationships, who  buy this crap and miss the boat on a successful career, only to find later in life, they've been conned and they are desperately unfulfilled. 

When was the last time the Daily Mail ran a story about a woman turning her life around, taking an open university degree and making something of herself? This horrible story was in the "real issues" section. Todays other real issues in the Daily Mail Femail section? 

Four in five Britons have given up on New Year resolutions - even the one about having more sex

Jean Simmons: The beauty who said no to Howard Hughes - and sabotaged her Hollywood career

 Are these real issues for you?

How about the main story in the Advice column?

Rowan Pelling's sex advice column: 'How can I learn to flirt when I can't even look a man in the eye?'

Rowan Pelling advises :-

Most effective of all is the woman who can make her eyes convey a smile with a certain sparkle. The expression ‘come-to-bed eyes’ doesn’t come from nowhere!

Rog T's advice is somewhat different. "Get some self esteem. Think what you want to do with your life and start doing it, be it work or pleasure. Once you start feeling confident with yourself, you'll be happy to look anyone in the eye and say "This is me". If they like what they see they'll be interested. It's all a load of old cobblers really. Get out and start living. Go and see that band you really like, have that holiday in Tuscany, take up powerboat racing, enroll in the Open University and study something you find interesting. All conversations need to start somewhere and a common interest is a great place." Why doesn't the Mail ever encourage women to have aspiration and ambition? Doing something with your life, having fun and feeling fulfilled isn't unfeminine, quite the opposite.

So why, you may ask, does a red blooded male, get so worked up about this issue? Simple really. I've two daughters and I want them to be happy. I want them to live their life without false boundaries. I want them to feel they can achieve whatever they want, if they work hard. I don't want my daughters to think like semi lobotomised vegetables. That is why we don't buy the Daily Mail. It wouldn't surprise me at all to see an advert for the Mail pronouncing "Be happy, a free lobotomy for all Femail readers in todays Mail on Sunday". What truly baffles me is how the Daily Mail can rant about the wearing of Burkas whilst at the same time seeking to impose a mental burka on the way the women of Great Britain think. I suspect that on this, like many issues such as capital punishment, corporal punishment, censorship, pornography to name a few, the Daily Mail is far closer to the views of Osama Bin Laden and all of the rest of the worlds fundamentalist nut cases than it would have us believe.

A strange, lonely and troubling death?

The Daily Mail was at it's stupid, uncaring, crass worst yesterday. Jan Moir, that well known, high profile, top reporter, who I'd never heard of until yesterday, and hope I never hear of again, wrote this article about the death of Stephen Gately. Let me quote a couple of paragraphs.

Gay activists are always calling for tolerance and understanding about same-sex relationships, arguing that they are just the same as heterosexual marriages. Not everyone, they say, is like George Michael. Of course, in many cases this may be true. Yet the recent death of Kevin McGee, the former husband of Little Britain star Matt Lucas, and now the dubious events of Gately's last night raise troubling questions about what happened.

Moir draws attention to his "sad, lonely death on the sofa" whilst his partner was elsewhere engaged with a young man they'd met whilst out at a club. This really offends me. In Moir's terms, my own dear Dad had a "sad lonely death". He got up in the night, aged 69, after 43 years of happy marriage. He went downstairs, sat on the sofa and had a heart attack. Mum was up in bed. Gately was no more sad or lonely when he died than my Dad. He probably, rather like my Dad, felt unwell and thought he'd sit on the couch. Like my Dad his heart packed up. In my Dad's case, the post mortem said that in all probability a lifetime of smoking and drinking had weakened his heart. When I read the comments about Gately - he may have smoked a joint -I thought " what right has this woman got to stick the knife in, in a national newspaper". Sure it's a free country, but you have to ask why a paper such as the Daily Mail publishes such tripe. What is there agenda?

About 16 years ago, I had a split with my partner (now my wife) for a while. A friend of mine also went through a split. He found himself homeless. I had a spare room and he lodged with me for a period of 6 months whilst he got himself on his feet. Our lifestyle was one where we'd go to the pub every night, drink ourselves silly, then quite often come home and drink lots more beer. Often we'd meet friends up the pub who would come back for an extended drinking session. There was no sexual element to our friendship, but I couldn't help thinking what Jan Moir would have said if one of us had conked out on the couch after a heavy session. There would probably be all sorts of innuendo, supposition and rumour. What would our friends and family have thought if we'd read this? That's what upsets me about the comments about Gately. Sure Gately and his partner were gay, sure they met a guy and he came back. That much is public record. What else happened? I don't know and I don't care. For all I know, they drunk a load more beer and conked out, completely comatose, then woke to find Gately dead. The point is that it is there business.

As to the effect of Gately's lifestyle. Like my fathers years of smoking and drinking, it was his business. He brought happiness to many people. By all accounts, he was a nice guy. We all have demons. Unlike the pompous, self righteous Moir, I try not to judge people. She ends here article with this comment :-

For once again, under the carapace of glittering, hedonistic celebrity, the ooze of a very different and more dangerous lifestyle has seeped out for all to see.

In my opinion, you can draw a completely different conclusion. My conclusion is that when young men, both straight and gay, go out and enjoy themselves, occasionally something tragic and unforeseen happens.

In my life, I've had many, many nights out which, but for the grace of God, could have ended in a similar tragedy for me or one of my friends, due to extreme excess. I don't lead a "hedonistic celebrity" lifestyle, I just enjoy a good night out. I suspect most of us are the same.Shame on Moir, Shame on the Daily Mail.