The Baby Jesus was an Asylum Seeker

Yet again the right wing tabloid press bombard us with stories of a forthcoming apocalypse of immigrants. The current flavour of the month for immigrant bashing are Romanians and Bulgarians, who will shortly have a legal right to come and live in the UK. They seem to have usurped Asylum Seekers as the target for bile in the right wing press. The Daily Mail has several immigration related stories on their website this morning

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2530928/Dont-lift-border-controls-grassroots-Tories-beg-Cameron-Activists-say-risk-social-unrest-PM-doesnt-tear-plans.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2531051/Senior-Roma-says-Britain-concerned-bankers-stealing-billions-surge-street-beggars-Eastern-Europe.html


The recurrent theme is that "immigrants are bad". We are encouraged to begrudge immigrants the right to free treatment in A&E departments in one of the Daily Mail stories. The Mail are telling me that if someone moves to the UK, perfectly legally, from Romania to work, perfectly legally, contributing to the UK economy and GDP, they should be denied healthcare if they get run over? The Mail gloats

Migrants who go to A&E will be billed between £20 and £100 for a consultation, on top of the cost of their treatment – with staff presenting chip-and-pin machines at their bedsides.

Whilst I am sure that many Mail readers will be bashing one out in an excited frenzy at such news, I find it appalling. For many years the bogeymen of the right were Asylum Seekers. I often wonder what spin the Daily Mail would have put on the biblical story of Joseph and Mary taking the baby Jesus to Egypt, to escape Herod's Slaughter of the innocents. Here is my stab at how the Cairo Daily Mail (circa 0AD) may have covered the story (we must of course recall that the Daily Mail has a bit of history for being anti semitic, supporting Hitler in the 1930's). Something like this?

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The Cairo Daily Mail has uncovered an incredible story of dodgy Asylum seekers from Israel. It wasn't so long ago that the Jews were only too keen to turn their back on Egyptian hospitality, under the radical cleric Moses. Now it seems the Land of Milk and Honey isn't so sweet. The Cairo Daily Mail was shocked to learn of the story of a Mr Joseph Davidson, a Jew from Bethlehem, who recently arrived in Cairo. Customs officials found a large amount of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh in his position. Mr Davidson claimed that "Three Kings had turned up from the East and given it to his son". On questioning, it transpired that the woman Mary, travelling with Mr Davidson wasn't actually his wife. When questioned Mr Davidson admitted that the baby wasn't even his child. He told customs officials that "an Angel of the Lord nipped round, whilst I was making a table for Avi Cohen". When questioned as to how he could believe such a cock and bull story , Mr Davidson said "I had a dream where an Angel told me it was OK". Customs officials are currently testing the large stash of Frankincense, to see if it actually something stronger.

When asked why he'd brought his 'family' to Cairo, Mr Davidson said that the angel of the Lord had told him to escape persecution by King Herod, whilst him and his girlfriend were squatting in a barn with the baby. When customs officials asked why King Herod would be bothered about a carpenter and his mistress, Mr Davidson replied that he was scared because the baby was the rightful king of the Jews. Mr Davidson explained that King Herod and his army were terrified that the baby would kick them out of their palace. Customs officials suggested that maybe Mr Davidson was more concerned with undercutting local tradesmen and taking advantage of the Egyptian medical and social security systems.

Ever since lax border controls were brought in under the left wing administration of Cleopatra, Egypt has been swamped with foreigners. There are no longer proper border controls, allowing the likes of Davidson to turn up and simply live here, taking jobs from skilled Cairo craftsmen. Doubtless this baby will put a further strain on the oversubscribed Cairo schools and Mary will soon be off looking for other "Angels" whilst Mr Davidson is round fixing the Pharoah's table leg. Whilst the story of "Dodgy Davidson" and his "modern family" will soon be forgotten, Egypt will be permanently ruined by these dodgy foreigners and asylum seekers if something isn't done.

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Nothing really changes, does it?

Who would Jesus vote for?

Firstly, let me say one thing. There is nothing which gets my goat up more than dodgy politicians using Jesus/God as a justification for any policy. Politicians should stand for policies because they are right. The arguments should be based on the merits of the policy, not on some random notion that Jesus might have liked it. Earlier this week Iain Dale did a post entitled "God doesn't do Party politics, but if he did...". It got me thinking about the issue. As it's a Saturday, I thought I'd explore the issue of religion and politics in the usual Barnet Eye way.

Extremist nutcases in the States are often featured on TV waving placards with such messages as "Jesus hates fags" and the suchlike. For people who purport to read the bible this rather puzzles me because, he didn't actually say anything in any of the Gospels about homosexuality. In effect, what they are doing is making things up and then pretending that Jesus said them, which I guess if you are a Christian, is blasphemy. It would be like me proclaiming "Jesus loves the Clash". I'd be rather pleased if he did, but as he never stood up (as far as is recorded) and said "Blessed be Joe Strummer", I just have to have a little bit of faith that he has good taste in Punk Rock bands.

Reading Iain Dale's blog, I got to thinking as to why, when we talk about faith and politics, it's always right wingers spouting nonsense like "Jesus would vote Tory because they'd ban abortions", ignoring the fact that Maggie had a nice big fat majority and never saw fit to change the law. Why do none of the other biblical Prophets get a look in? I considered a few of the important biblical figures and thought maybe we should try and ascertain how they'd vote.

Noah - I guess he'd probably vote Green. He seemed to be interested in the Environment and protecting animals. Not many people realise it, but Noah framed the 7 laws which form the basis of all of the practises of the main religions. These predate Moses 10 commandments. Interestingly enough, Noah was probably the first recorded character to recognise animal rights. Yup, I'd put him down as a Green.

Noah's Seven Laws.

1. Idolatry is forbidden.
   
2. Incestuous and adulterous relations are forbidden.
   
3. Murder is forbidden. The life of a human being, formed in God's image, is sacred.
4. Cursing the name of God is forbidden.
   
5. Theft is forbidden. The world is not ours to do with as we please.
6. Eating the flesh of a living animal is forbidden.
   
7. Mankind is commanded to establish courts of justice and a just social order to enforce the first six laws and enact any other useful laws or customs.

Moses. Well as he was responsible for the 10 commandments and six hundred odd other laws, he's clearly hot on Law and Order issues. I originally was going to classify him as a Tory, then I remembered that it was he who asked God for a handout and got "Manna from heaven". Now as this was not a means tested benefit and was universally available, I guess that puts him down as a Socialist. I've sort of decided that he's probably Old Labour.

As I thought about the issue, I asked myself "Which biblical figure provides the inspiration for our dynamic duo of leaders Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Barnet Council Leader Mike Freer". Now as you know I consider Mike Freer to be a Brownite. I actually believe Gordon Brown to be a Tory, but that is a blog for another day. Given the Midas touch in reverse that both of them seem to possess and the way they leg it when asked to take responsibility, there can only be one prophet for them - Jonah. Eventually Jonah got the message and did what God required. I rather hope that both Mike and Gordon get the message which I've sent them - resign for the sake of us all.

As to my question at the top of the page, who would Jesus vote for? Given the way our MP's have behaved, I suspect that if he was forced, he'd probably pick the Monster Raving Looney Party in preference to any of the others. I base this assertation on his first reported miracle, in which he turned water into 40 gallons of wine for a Jewish wedding party. The one thing we can be sure about is that he liked a party. The gospel tells us that after the wedding feast, Jesus and his followers rested for several days.

Jesus was a black man

Interesting article in the Guardian G2 magazine today. In an interview with Billy Ocean, he states that he thinks Jesus was black. I'd never given it much thought, but the case he makes, given the geography is pretty compelling. It is is also worth noting that the most ancient Jewish tribes are dark skinned. Does it matter? Well it most certainly doesn't matter to me.

It would seem to me that there are people who it would make a huge difference to, having seen some comments on the web. Some have indicated they would lose their Christian faith. I'd say this to them, if that's how you feel, you've lost it already. In my world Jesus would be hanging out with Hendrix & Bob Marley, not with George Bush and his NeoCon cronies.

I hope the day comes when all men & women are judged by their talents, not their colour. If a black Jesus would help this, then that would work for me. As far as I recall he wasn't interested in race, just good being a good person, I hope we'd all sign up to that.