Paralympic Torch in Barnet - details

I am rather disappointed to read of the arrangements for the Paralympic Torch passing through the Borough of Barnet. For the Olympic Torch, their was a fantastic event, which I attended in North Finchley on a sunny afternoon. The Torch transition energised everyone and for many people was the only Olympic event they attended.

Sadly the Paralympic Torch will have a brief showing at 5.40am tomorrow. Here are the details

The Hyde into Sainsbury’s

A team of five torchbearers will carry the Paralympic Flame as it travels along Kingsbury Road , passing the junction with Derwent Rise at 5.40am, before turning right into The Hyde and then entering Sainsbury’s in The Hyde at 5.54am where the torch will transfer to a vehicle to make its way to the next stage of the route.

116 teams of five Torchbearers will carry the Olympic Flame along the 92 mile route from Stoke Mandeville to the Stratford Park where the relay will conclude at approximately 10pm.

Residents are also being invited make and light a lantern to line the torch relay route. You can find a handy guide to lantern making at: www.london2012.com/lightalantern

A civic reception is being arranged by the changeover at Sainsbury’s and will update you with further details when I get them.

For the exact relay route in Barnet visit: www.london2012.com/paralympictorchrelay

So it seems that there really is one rule for the disabled and another for everyone else. I think this is a real missed opportunity and it is rather sad.

Free male prostitutues on the NHS

That blog title got your attention didn't it. Sadly this blog isn't going to detail salacious details of personal services supplied by your GP. It is however an answer to a question which made me think deeply about my own values and the rights of other people. Most years I volunteer to act as a helper with a charity which takes a group of adult, severely handicapped people on holiday for a week. Now don't get the idea that this is because I'm a goody-goody, holier than thow, do-gooder. I do it because it's an absolute hoot and it gives me a chance to catch up with and help some really good friends I've made over the years. It may shock you to know that some of us drink a few beers, we have partys, we've even gone to see free open air gigs featuring Status Quo. The ethos of the group is that we are together, there is no demarkation between helper and person being helped in the group dynamic (beyond where there is a physical requirement). Just for the absence of doubt, all of this is done in a safe manner and people behave extremely responsibly.

Some of the helpers, often on their first (and sometimes last trip) are shocked by the fact that adult disabled people (cerebal Palsy, Downs Syndrome, Spina bifida, etc) have exactly the same needs desires and dreams as the rest of us, and talk openly about these issues within the group. For many, the fact that much of this seems unachievable is a sad part of life, when someone has a perfectly normal brain, trapped in a body which makes normal life (as you or I know it) nigh on impossible. For us an action such as making a cup of tea is a simple 3 minute task. If you suffer from cerebal palsy and are stuck in a wheelchair, it's a totally different  matter.

One conversation, as a group of us were chatting late one evening illuminated to me the stark choices. A rather devout Christian lady, of indeterminate age, who was a first time helper, asked one of the women in the group who happened to have cerebal palsy a simple question. "What could the NHS do which would simply and cheaply improve the quality of your life". The answer was shot straight back "Provide me with a male prostitute". The rather shocked lady said "Oh no, you can't possibly mean that". The response was spat back at her "It's alright for you to say that, your not a virgin and you won't die a virgin. How do you think I feel every day". There really was no answer to the question. Sadly, often the truth is not what we'd like to hear in our comfy little lives. Should the NHS provide free sex workers for the disabled, who would otherwise be deprived of a sex life, if it makes those peoples lives more tolerable? I honestly don't know the answer to that question, on balance I don't think it's the answer, but my mind isn't fully made up. I don't think that we, as a nation are grown up enough even to have the discussion.

So what am I saying here. I'm saying that in providing care for the adult disabled, we should make the decisions as to how cash is spent based on the choices of the people who need the care. We should be prepared to ask questions which we may not like the answers to, or even find shocking. Most importantly we should recognise that things able bodied people take for granted, which greatly enrich our lives should not be forever out of bounds to people, purely because of limited mobility. What has shocked me more than anything is the number of people who subscribe to eugenics and nazi doctrines when it comes to the adult rights of the disabled and handicapped. There is no other group where the right to a sex life or reproductive rights is seen as a subject of public domain discussion and repression. I am not talking about vulnerable, innocent people who can be taken advantage of, that is a different (and more difficult) argument, I'm talking about people with a physical handicap and a perfectly normal IQ and mental function.

Ask yourself this. When you read this post, did you at any time think "Yuck, thats gross". If you did then you need to ask yourself why.

Do you think like a Nazi?

Just a note to say a few names in this blog have been changed.

I've just got back from a week in France. I went with two of my children, my cousin and a group of other disabled people and helpers to Lourdes in France. We didn't actually go to Lourdes, we went to Bartres where HCPT have a house set up for people with special needs. My cousin Tess, who accompanied me, is exactly the same age as I am and has Downs syndrome. In our group there were several other people with the same condition, as well as a few people with other challenges. With Downs Syndrome there is a wide spectrum of how it effects people. One of our party who is affected by this condition is a successful actress. She has appeared in Eastenders, Casualty and Hellboy to name but a few. On the final night we had a talent show and she danced for us. It is fair to say that she's far more accomplished a dancer than I could even dream of being. Last night I was discussing with my wife and children how the trip went (my wife was at the National Swimming championships with my eldest daughter whilst |I was away). My two youngest children were amazed to hear that Jo had a condition, having spent a week in her company. They had assumed she was a helper (for want of a better label). They asked "what is wrong with her?" I replied "Nothing is wrong with her, she's just a bit different". However you may or may not perceive people suffering with Downs syndrome, she breaks the mold completely. her parents never accepted the concept that she was different and enabled her to follow her dreams and aspirations. She's an intelligent and accomplished young woman, who I feel privelidged to have spent some time with.

Having said all of that, just to base our views on the fact that someone is a high achiever rather misses the point. At the other end of the scale we had Max. He suffers from a range of conditions as well as Downs. His vocabulary is rather limited. Food is "Om" and there are a range of other noises which tell us when he's happy, sad, irritated or otherwise. He's confined to wheel chair for virtually the whole time and due to other problems, even moving him has issues. If you saw him and didn't know him, you may form all sorts of opinions. Once you get to know him, you realise that he's intelligent, a bit of a comedian and a bit of a troublemaker (rather like most of my friends). It is fair to say that he's probably the star of our group and if he couldn't go, I think we'd all desperately miss him.

We all go as helpers for our own reasons. I find it helps me to stay grounded and realise how lucky I am with the hand I've been dealt. You may think that such a week is for pious do gooders. You'd be wrong. Our group has people from all walks of life. As well as the doctors, nurses and teachers, we've got actresses, a TV producer, a holistic therapist, a shop manager, a Michelin starred chef (to name but a few). At a guess, at least 50% of the group aren't Roman Catholics and some are not of any faith. Bartres is up in the foothills of the Pyranees. It is a beautiful, peaceful place and is one of my favourite places in the world. HCPT run a fantastic operation. For many people it is the only holiday they get and it provides respite for families, who know that their loved ones are in a safe, happy environment.

One thought always chills me. During the second world war, that part of France was under Nazi occupation. Had our group visited in 1944, then at least 8 of us would have been taken away and gassed for being disabled under the Nazi policy of Eugenics. There are some of us today who still have such views. One of the reasons I take my children is so they can learn that we all have worth and value. From our conversations since returning, I think they've learned.

I would say this to anyone who dismisses the worth and value of the disabled. Go with a group as a helper. You might learn something