Hello to the wonderful world of Bluesky and how are you doing to everyone else!

Me

Today I joined Bluesky! Not because I am leaving Twitter, I discussed my views on that last week, so I won't go over the ground again. I made the decisions so that no one else nicks my Barneteye handle and pretends to be me, which would be more irritating than anything. I've not really decided how I will use it. I will have to see if I get on with it and it is a useful tool. I have an open mind, so if there is something wonderful I've been missing, please let me know!

I suppose that its possible there are a horde of brand new friends out there waiting to say hi and make my life even more wonderful, who've never heard of me or this blog, so I thought I'd give a little resume of what the Barnet Eye is and who I (Rog T/Roger Tichborne) is.

The Barnet Eye

It is a blog I started by accident in May 2008, which has gone on to have nearly 4.5 million hits (last time I looked). It originally started as a blog on the Barnet Times, until the then Conservative administration at Barnet Council of Mike Freer and co threatened to pull council advertising unless they booted me out. I originally intended to blog about local music, but one of my early blogs upset them and a battle between myself and the local Tory ensued. In October 2008, my Barnet Times blog was shut down after the editor Phil Crowther gave in to pressure. The local Tory bigwigs went out to celebrate the "end of my blogging career". That went well!

Oddly, my biggest supporters were local Tories who had fallen out with Freer. They encouraged me to continue on Blogger. I did. I assumed that without the Barnet Times backing, no one would read it. However the opposite was true. Not only that, a whole host of other Barnet blogs started, inspired by this blog. We became known as The Famous Five. I was made a Guardian Top London blogger and contributed articles to the paper about mismanagement and outsourcing in local government. In 2011, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and decided to start a cancer blog. This has attracted huge interest. Seeing that such blogs had an audience and were appreciated, I also started blogging about dyslexia, as this has blighted my life. I also cover football and music. In recent years, the blog has become more about Barnet life than Barnet politics. I've also become a published author, contributing a chapter to a book called West London Wildlife on Aurora Books.

About Me. 

I am a self confessed football nut. I support Manchester City FC and Hadley FC (a local team in the Southern league Division 1 Central). I play guitar and sing in a band called The False Dots, who released our debut album after 45 years together last Sunday. You can listen to it here.

I have a wife of 29 years, three adult offspring and two rescue dogs who are my world. I have a band, who I believe are the finest, most creative people on the planet. I believe that all musicians are angels in disguise (except me), sent here to make our passage through life bearable (but be warned and remember Lucifer is an angel as well if you read scriptures and believe in that sort of thing). 

I believe in God, but I suspect my view of Gods nature is not a very mainstream one. I go to The Sacred Heart Church, because I find that it helps keep me sane. I despise people who use religion as anything other than a search for personal enlightenment. Those who use it to control people, seek power or start wars are, to my mind evil. I feel very let down by most people in religious authority, but I will not cede them the space. 

I am scared of nothing, apart from snakes and believe that I've outlived my usefulness in this world, and so am no only here to cause trouble and enjoy myself. I drink too much beer, but only in my spare time with friends, in private I have a somewhat inappropriate sense of humour at times. I try not to tell lies, but do appreciate that sometimes the truth starts wars (be it in my front room or in the Middle East), so recognise that occasionally a porkie is required.

Everything I write in this blog is a genuine, honestly held view. I get things wrong, and when I do I apologise (even if I don't like the person). I have a bunch of friends who help me out when needed, who I owe the world to.

I'm deliriously happy and contented 95% of the time and devastated for 5% of the time, usually when people I had faith in let me down. 

That's about it. 

Important - Calling all my male friends

Calling all my male friends. Last year I had a radical prosatectomy. I was diagnosed in 2011. I had HIFU treatment in January 2016 that addressed it for seven years, but it came back. Luckily I was under surveillance, so they were able to address it and my last post op PSA test came back clear. I opted for the operation as Professer Christopher Eden assured me that his procedure had a strong likelyhood of retaining my erectile function and my continence. He was true to his word. Why was I diagnosed? I had a male all round health check in 2011, that deteted a high PSA. I'd only gone to the doctor as I had a knee problem following a football injury, he suggested the 'MOT'. If you are over 50 or have a family history of prostate cancer, get a check. I wrote a song chronicling my journey. It is funny, but 100% true - please have a listen and share this, this is important. I was gobsmacked when I was diagnosed as things like that don't happen to me.

The biggest mistake you can make in your life

Contemplating Life

There are two major things that shape our lives. The choices we make and the events that we don't control. Twice in the last two days, I've seen examples of people making extremely bad choices, which could have changed their lives forever for the worse. One of them could also have changed mine. Yesterday, I was about to cross the road on the pelican crossing at the bottom of my road, which crosses Mill Hill Broadway. I pressed the button (why do people stand there and not press the button and hope it will change?). The light changed and I was just about to step out into the road, when I noticed a woman driving a blue BMW hurtling towards me, totally ignoring the light. I stopped and she sped straight through. Having been run over and nearly killed in Burnt Oak, when someone did exactly the same thing, I am cautious. But she wasn't cautious. She was driving like an idiot and she could have killed someone. It seems to me to be the height of stupidity to risk killing someone and a jail term as a result, to get somewhere 20 seconds quicker. Why? The thought crossed my mind that if I'd not spotted her or wasn't paying attention, I may be dead. 

Today I saw the complete other end of the spectrum at the very same spot. As I walk down my road, I can see the same pelican crossing. As I approached, a woman pressed the button and the lights changed. I was paying attention, as I thought I may be able to get across, but I was a tad to far and couldn't be bothered to run. What she did next really shocked me. Rather than cross, she looked at her mobile phone and stopped. I have no idea what was so exciting that she just stopped in her tracks and gawped. What she did next stunned me even more than the events yesterday. The lights changed again and were flashing yellow. She then walked out in front of the cars that had been stopped and were starting to pull off, causing them to brake. She was clearly completely distracted. Although the cars were not moving quickly, it was stupid and reckless. A lady standing next to me, looked at me and shook her head. It occurred to me that if you put the two events together, where both a motorist and a pedestrian are not paying attention and are also clearly distracted then they both could have made the worst decision in their lives, presumably without consciously realising it at the time. 

At the time I was run over, I was regularly doing a Yoga class in Mill Hill, with an amazing Yoga teacher called Joyce. It took me three months to get to a position where I could consider Yoga. When I went back, she enquired after my health and asked about my absence. I explained how a speeding driver, jumping the lights had run me over. Her response rather irritated me at the time, now I understand it. She said "You've really got to be more conscious of what is going on around you". What annoyed me was that it wasn't my fault and even the bloke who did it admitted that. But Joyce was right. If I'd had my eyes and ears open, I would have realised. You can be 100% in the right, but it won't make you feel any better when a car splatters you. 

About fifteen years ago, on Mill Hill Broadway, at the very same spot as the two incidents mentioned above happened, I was about to cross the road, with the lights being red. I'd just got off the train and there were several other people. Being cautious, I noticed that a car was speeding towards us and the person driving was looking at their phone and also hadn't noticed. As I realised that it wasn't safe to cross, a lady next to me saw the green man and without looking stepped onto the road. I realised that she was going to get run over, so I physically pulled her back and said "look out", she screamed and was just about to harangue me, when the car sped past and she realised she'd have been hit, if I hadn't grabbed her. I apologised profusely, and said "Sorry I had to do that, I realised you'd get hit". She was quite badly shaken up. She thanked me and explained that she'd "had a terrible day at work". We then both went on our way. It was at that moment that I realised what Joyce was saying and properly appreciated it.

The biggest mistake we can make in our lives is to not be conscious and pay attention and not just at road crossings. That was just an illustration. Yesterday, my band launched our debut album, only 45 years in the making. We had an afternoon gig at The Dublin Castle in Camden Town. It was amazing seeing so many of my friends out. to see us. As I was about to start singing one of the songs, Joyce's words "You've really got to be more conscious of what's going on around you" popped into my head. IT was so jarring that it put me off the lyrics and I completely garbled the words to the first verse of The Burnt Oak Boogie. But a more important thing happened than just singing a song correctly. I looked on and appreciated what was happening. No one forced those people to come. They came because they knew they'd have a good time, maybe meet some friends, maybe make sone new ones. I have no idea how many were there, it was a good crowd. The following comment was posted on the bands Facebook today "It really was fantastic! To anyone who missed it make sure you go to the next False Dots gig, it'll definitely cheer you up no end 😁".  

I sometimes wonder how many things in our life we really can consciously change. One thing I do know for certain is that if I am feeling down, I can consciously change my mood by listening to music. It washes away, not forever, but for a few moments the worries, concerns and distractions of our day to day lives. For those few seconds when Joyce's words echo'd around my mind, I realised that I am blessed. I make time to let music in and to chill out. I don't want to be that person who is so stressed and so in a rush that they miss seeing a red light, or so distracted that we step out when the lights have changed. I tend to relax by watching football and listening to music. It may not work for you, but something must. Don't neglect that. Give yourself time to unwind. If you've had a bad day, do something about it before you walk under a speeding car, because you are too lost in your thoughts to see it heading for you. If ever I had a really bad day in the office. I'd go to a quiet pub, have a single pint, eat a bag of nuts and read the Evening Standard before I headed home. I'd also put a couple of tunes on the Jukebox. Such things are simple but they can really make a difference.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The False Dots launched our new album yesterday, entitled "A finger in the Sun". Please click here and have a listen to it, if you enjoy what I write. I don't ask for much, but I'd love you to have a listen and tell your friends if you like it >>>>> CLICK HERE <<<<<

The Saturday List #462 - My top ten musical moments ever!

 The music we love is the soundtrack to our lives. For me, there are some moments that are indelibly burned into my memory as mindblowing moments of bliss. As my band, The False Dots face the biggest moment of our career, with our album launch at The Dublin Castle tomorrow, I thought today would be a great day to share my best musical moments.

1. The Ramones at the Roundhouse in June 1977, when Joey Ramone came out with the GABBA GABBA HEY placard during pinhead. The gig was mindblowingly good, but this was the moment that stuck in my brain forever. It was the moment I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was fourteen years old and at that moment I realised Id spent my life waiting for this one moment. 

2. Wire. 1978. The Marquee club. Wire are a bit of a difficult band to enjoy. I absolutely love them, but they only play new songs at shows. They had made a seminal punk album called Pink Flag. I went expecting to hear all of these masterpieces. They only played one song from the album. What I didn't know was that they had recorded a new album called Chairs Missing, that was evern better. It was not punk, it was arty new wave. The songs were unlike anything I'd ever heard. One of the songs, Practice makes perfect, descends into manic, hysterical laughter. It was one of the most intense moments in any gig ever. It literally blew my mind. Of course the next time I saw Wire, they didn't play it. 

3. Hot tramp, I love you so. The last line of the chorus on Rebel Rebel by David Bowie. I was on a date with a girl I had the real hots for. We were having a drink and flirting like mad, when this came on the juke box. When it got to that line, we both looked into each others eyes, sang the line and kissed. It was my best jukebox moment ever.  It also cemented Bowie as one of my favourite artists ever.

4. 54-46 was my number. May 2017. My daughter was at Uni in Leeds. In a moment of drunken foolishness, she fell 30 foot out of a tree she was climbing in the town centre. We got a call from A&E to say she was in a bad way. We dropped everything. They wouldn't tell us her condition until we arrived. How we didnt' get a speeding ticket I will never know. We got there and to my immense relief she was sort of ok, but had multiple fractures including a badly broken arm, which required a large metal plate in her arm. We brought her home. She was really down. The Specials were playing at Hatfield House. We got her a ticket to try and cheer her up. Toots and The Maytells, a band I love, were supporting. To be honest, I was so stressed that I wasn't really looking forward to the gig. But as soon as Toots kicked off, my blues disippated. When they played 54-46 was my number, the whole place went bonkers. I looked and saw my daughter smiling. I knew everything would be Ok. 

5. I am not sure of the year, I think around 1990 but I may be wildly out. I went to see The Dickies at The Powerhaus venue in Islington. I'd not seen the band for a decade, since The Marquee in 1978, when The Banana Splits song was in the chart, which was one of the best gigs I've seen. I didn't have high hopes, as it seemed to me that most of the punk bands had run out of energy and lost their way. How wrong could I be? The Dickies were blindingly good. They had a relatively new song called "If Stuart Could Talk", off Stukas over Disneyland. It was an OK song, not a stand out. However when they performed it live, they added a bit at the end. The theme of the song is that the singer is having a conversation is having a conversation with his penis, which is called Stuart (who is not overly happy with the attention Leonard Graves-Phillips has been paying him). I was quite enjoying it, when the band unexpectedly (for me), segued into Listening to You by The Who. Graves-Phillips produced a giant Penis glove puppet to perform the "See me, feel me, touch me, heal me" line. It was the most mindblowingly hilarious moment in any show, ever. It completely pricked the pomposity of The Who song. 

6. The Gangster of Love. My brother used to ask me to babysit for his kids when they were little. He'd buy a bottle of cider and give me a fiver. I'd get one of my mates to nip over and we'd listen to his record collection. He had such artists as The Velvet Underground, The Electric Prunes, Country Joe and The Fish in his collection. Being punks, it was a sort of guilty pleasure to sit there and listen to them. We put on Sailor by The Steve Miller Band. A record my brother told us was the best album ever. We quite enjoyed side one, span it over and played side 2. Track 3 is a cover of the Johnny Guitar Watson song "The Gangster of Love". We were listening to it, enjoying the vibe. About halfway through, the at around 1.20 into the song. The band all crack up and stop playing and it seguey's into a Jimmy Reeds song "You're so fine". We looked at each other and cracked up. We sort of realised that the band had a sense of humour. Much 1970's prog rock was rather po faced. This was a great antidote. 

7. Falsedub. In February 1982, The False Dots were in a studio owned by Ray Randall, bassplayer of The Tornados in Hendon. We were recording a new demo tape. One of the songs we'd written was a rather bad cod reggae/ska track called Falsedub. We simply weren't good enough musicians to get the right feel. We had a rock drummer who wasn't adaptable enough. I really wanted the track to work, so I booked some more studio time with Ray to remix it. Bassplayer Paul Hircombe came with me. We had a cunning plan (the sort you make when you are young and stupid). We decided that if we got some really strong ganga and mixed it whilst being stoned, we'd get a proper reggae vibe. Ray merrily joined in. We went in and spent six hours smoking and putting heavy delay and all manner of strange noises on. By 2am in the morning, we had completed the masterpiece. Ray gave us a master tape and a cassette. It genuinely was the most amazing music we'd ever heard. The next day, I went around to Paul's to excitedely listen to it. He put on the cassette. It was absolutely awful, what were we thinking. It was an expensive lesson. As an aside, the song was called Falsedub because we'd played it at a party at a squat in Maida Vale. We asked a wise old Jamaican Dread brother what he thought of our reggae song. He said "man, that ain't reggae, that's false dub".  He preferred a number that sounded a bit country and western.

9. Aland, January 1982. The False Dots were on tour in Scandinavia in January 1982. We had to play a gig in Aland, which is a Baltic Island that is Finnish. We played a venue called Pub Bastun. They paid very good money, but we had to play three sets of 45 minutes in length. We didn't have enough songs, so we frantically learned two sets worth of covers and dusted off every song we'd ever played. One of the songs we learned was the Steve Miller band song "Space Cowboy" (not The Joker, which references it). It has the same riff as Lady Madonna by The Beatles. It ends with a stop and a short drum break. To pad it out, we decided that our drummer would play a drum solo at the end. Paul Hircombe suggested that we'd do the solo with a strobe light on. Paul 'obtained' a strobe light and we rehearsed it. It was hilarious as it appeared Mark was playing in slow motion, whilst frantically bashing everything in sight. We decided that we'd end the first set with it. Until that moment, the Fins were midly enjoying the tracks, but not getting too involved. When we played Space Cowboy, their ears pricked up. I think they expected Lady Madonna. At then end when the lights were cut and Mark did his solo, they went mental. After that they really got going. When we finished the final set, they bayed for an encore. We said "We've got no more songs". They all bayed "Play Space Cowboy again". So we did, three times. There was a moment when Mark was doing his solo in the final set, with the strobe on. There were massive great Viking hulks dancing on tables, seemingly in slow motion. I will never forget looking at the scene and wondering if we'd ever get a response like this again. I wondered if anyone would? The next morning a few of the punters turned up. We were the first English band to play Pub Bastun. One guy said to me that he'd never seen an English band before, only Swedish and Finnish ones. I asked if he liked us. He said "Your playing is rubbish, but your attitude is amazing and I've never seen a gig like it. All of our bands are very regimental". I hope our playing has improved a bit. 

10. The Family Stone at The Jazz Cafe. I can't believe this was 2012, over 12 years ago. Sadly, Sly was not playing with them. But I cannot tellyou how good they were. Rather like the Dickies at The Powerhaus, I really went out of curiosity. From start to finish the gig was amazing, but when they played Higher, I was transported to a better place. When the brass really kicks in, it just is so uplifting. That was the moment I decided I wanted a band with brass in it and it's why Tom Hammond plays guitar with The False Dots. 

As I compiled this list, it reminded me of just how much I love live music. I could have made this a top 25 or even a top 100, possibly even a top 1,000. An important thought occurred to me. These days so many people at gigs are obsessed with taking videos that they miss such moments. One thing I guarantee with gigs is that the videos never capture the moment. Professional crews rarely do, so what hope have you. Put the phone away and groove on down and feel the moment. My biggest bugbear of all are people who talk at gigs and don't enjoy the music. If I ever become world dictator, I'll employ people with electric cattle prods to shut them up. A mate recently told me that he'd "given up on gigs as they are too expensive". I pointed out that venues like the Dublin Castle, where we play tomorrow charge a tenner for entrance. You will notice that none of my moments occurred in Stadiums with mega artists. I passionately believe that if you want to see the best music, go to a small club. If you can get down tomorrow to the Dublin Castle, please do.

Why I am staying on Twitter/X

I was asked yesterday "when will you be quitting Twitter" by a good mate. I was a bit miffed in truth, that someone thought I was so indecisive that if I thought a platform was completely untenable, I'd not depart immediately. There has been lots of talk of quitting Twitter recently. Everyone from the Guardian to Clifton Suspension Bridge have left the platform. If I am honest, I've given far more thought to stopping my subscription to The Guardian than I have to 'quitting Twitter'. The reason? Well it costs me a small fortune to buy the Guardian and there is almost nothing worth reading in it. I used to have a whole list of people that I'd check in the morning, as they had something worth reading. These days, it really is only sketch writer John Crace left, as well as Dooensbury on a Friday morning. I buy the Daily Express and The Guaridan every day. It gives me a balance of writing on the right and left. It helps me hone my arguments. Much of what is in the Express political content is complete rubbish, but a trip to Twitter will confirm that there are no shortage of people who beleive it. Let me give you one example. This morning, their political writer Leo McKinstry claimed Labour were wasting Britians reserves of oil and gas by not exploiting them. Think of this logically, it is an absurd statement. The reserves will be there forever, until we extract them. We are simply making a decision not to exploit them now. If that decision turns out to be a mistake, future generations will still have some wealth in the bank. If I hadn't read this twaddle, I'd not have my arguments formed should someone say something so ridiculous. There was a fascinating feature about a crime writer and how his terrifying experience of being abducted as a teenager influenced his writing. The only article of real interest in the Guardian today (apart from Crace & Doonesbury) was an interveiw with Gwen Stefani, where she admitted that Madness and the Specials were two of her favourite bands. Stefani is a big guilty pleasure of mine (don't tell Mrs T). She used to be on rotation at the Gym when I used to do a lot of running on a treadmill. The point I'm making is that as a rational person, I don't spend money on information sources because I agree with the politics of the owners. 

If I didn't subscribe to products owned by people I find reprehensible, I'd never have subscribed to the Rupert Murdoch owned Sky Sports. As a football fan, this would have meant I'd be depriving myself of one of the few things I really enjoy. Of course, I hated lining the pockets of Rupert Murdoch, a man I despise and who I believe has caused more damage to the Uk than anyone since the second world war. But life is full of compromises. Had I not subscribed to Sky Sports, it would have massively impacted my life in a negative way. I doubt Rupert Murdoch would have missed the money I spent, that made its way into his bank account. Ironically, Sky studios in Elstree have actually ended up making a massive contribution to the local economy. I still can't stand Murdoch, but the concept of watching Strictly on the BBC instead of the football on Sky is something that I personally couldn't do. I'd much rather Someone else got the cash, but in our Capitalist society, that is not how it works. We get these powerful billionaires with a monopoly on information and we have to live with it. It is also worth pointing out that before Sky TV, football coverage was far less professional and there was far less opportunity to watch it. The sad truth is that such billionaires do deliver products that make our lives better, even if they do many other things that make our lives worse.

Which brings us to Elon Musk and Twitter. I first heard of Musk when I started using Ebay in around 2002. I made a small fortune trading on the platform. Musk also owned Paypal. Whatever you may think of Musk, Paypal is a brilliant platform and is the payment platform we use for online payments at the studio. For someone despised by the left, it is rather ironic that Musk invested a fortune building the Tesla green brand, which makes electric vehicles and batteries, which are seen as the future of the green economy. Unlike Trump, who is all for a dirty carbon economy, Musk has probably done more to move us to electric than any other person on the planet. You may not like it, but the facts are there. Then there is SpaceX. Now you may see it as completely bonkers. Musk says that it is the only way that humanity can ever survive in the long term. Moving  beyond planet Earth will secure the long term future of humanity.  He has a point, whether you like it or not, it is a worthy goal. Which brings us to his takeover of Twitter. From the moment it was first mooted, it was met with howls of anger from the left. "How dare a zillionaire take over a start up that we like?" seemed to be the refrain. 

Twitter was a company bleeding money. Press coverage indicated that when Musk saw the books, he was horrified. Much of what he's done to try and make it turn a profit has been very painful, but he's not the first boss to fire staff in a loss making business. He's not the first boss to try and wring every penny out of his customers. He's also not the first boss to mess up a product. Twitter is now a horrible environment. Musk welcomed back the likes of Tommy Robinson and all manner of US far right loonies. He made changes that encouraged them to spout bile on line. There is nothing nice to say about it, except that in the West we believe in free speech and sadly that means these sort of people have as much right to spout bile, so long as they are not breaking the law, as woke lefties like me. 

I have my own suspicions as to why Elon Musk has snuggled up to Trump. I suspect the main reason is that he knew Trump would win and it would be good for business. He is in the inner circle. He has the opportunity to shape the future of the USA. Unlike just about every other appointment Trump has made, Musk is actually very intelligent and has acheived things in his life. His wealth was built in tech and in spotting opportunities that no one else even realised existed. How could he not see an opportunity in what the Trump presidency offers? Musk does not come from a mega wealthy background. His father, Errol Musk, is a South African electromechanical engineer, pilot, sailor, consultant, emerald dealer, and property developer. He clearly comes from a family where taking risks and seizing opportunities is in his blood. My assessment and it may be cruel, is that Musk see's Trump as a gateway to realising his dreams of space exploration and destroying the old financial world order. He sees a bloke who appears to be suffering from a touch of dementia, who has appointed a bunch of absolute morons to run his government, because they all tell him he's marvellous. If you are clever, ambitious and a risk taker, what is not to like?

That is not to say I don't have massive concerns, which are probably just due to my paranoid and cynical nature. My biggest is Musk's investment in "The Boring Company". What does every credible Bond style villain have, whilst they are planning to destroy the world with nuclear bombs? A massive bunker where they can be safe. I do wonder if Trump ever watched any of the Bond films with Roger Moore? If I was him, I'd be a tad reticent about snuggling up too close to Musk, but maybe that's just why I don't own Paypal and am not President of the USA.

A friend suggested that Musk wants to be the next President. Whatever you may think of him, that's impossible as he was not born in the USA. It would require a change to the constitution and I doubt that will ever happen. I suspect Musk has bigger dreams. He has his eyes on the whole universe. For him, I suspect the USA is a bit small for his ambitions. My gut feeling is that Musk will be one of the few sane people in the Trump administration and that cannot be a bad thing. What few people seem to understand is that as the owner of Twitter, he has ownership of one of the biggest data mines of personal information on the planet. Every opinion that you've ever expressed on Twitter is owned by Mr Musk. I used to write software that mined information to spot fraud patterns in UK government benefits payments. What we soon learned was that once you start looking at such data, you learn all manner of things. A whole bunch of types of fraud were identified that no one even new existed until the data was crunched. I have no doubt that all of the Tommy Robinsons and their followers are having their data thoroughly crunched as we speak and I suspect that the usage of the data will only become apparent when someone realises how you can use it. I suspect that with AI analysis, Mr Musk will be able to study my Twitter history and tell me what colour underpants I'm wearing, what I'm having for dinner tonight, what time I go to the toilet, what I'm listening to on the radio and all manner of other information that would be highly useful if he decided to destroy me by fair means or foul. Whilst I doubt I'd find myself in his crosshairs, I do wonder if all of these libertarian Americans who he's actively encouraging to share their lives and thoughts on Twitter will be quite so lucky, when they cease to be useful and stand in his way. 

And if you've been tweeting your life away for the last fifteen years and you've quit, it's too late. You've already put it out there.  Every time you've tweeted that a company has badly served you, every time you've posted a restaurant, gig or coffee shop you like, every time you mention someone you know, everything. It's all there and it can all be crunched. Even things like the time you tweet at will give away things. There is also the location you are tweeting from. All of it. Not just Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc. All of them. The reason why a loss making concern such as Twitter was worth so much to Musk is because Tech investors understand this. Let me give you a trite example. If Mr Musk owned a rare bootleg album of The Ramones at The Roundhouse in 1977, he could get his lackeys to crunch Twitter and he may well conclude that I'd be a great person to sell it to and send me a Tweet offering it to me. There are far darker things he may want to do with data. Who knows? The sad thing about Twitter and all of these other platforms is you've already put it out there. 

Which brings us back to the title of this blog. Why I am staying on Twitter.

1. It costs me nothing.

2. IMHO Musk is no worse than most other multi billionaires and tech companies.

3. The horse had bolted, my digital history on Twitter is already in his hands

4. I beleive in free speech and much as I dislike nutcases, they have as much right to post crap as snowflakes like me. I don't want to belong to a platform that is an eho chamber for my views.

5. No one has actually made a rational case for leaving, other than their personal dislike of Musk.

6. Twitter is still the best of breed and I see good content on it.

7.  I dislike Rupert Murdoch more than Musk and I still have Sky Sport, so it would be deeply hypocritical to flounce off Twitter just to keep my lefty mates happy.

8. Every review of every film, play and record I've read in the Guardian in the last ten years has been wrong, If they like something, it is invariably rubbish and vice verse, so their flounce off Twitter is most unconvincing.

9. Like reading the Daily Express, Twitter exposes me to difficult arguments from people I don't like, which ultimately makes me better able to argue my case.

10. If Musk succeeds in his aims of moving forward humanities colonisation of space, it may mean humanity lasts a bit longer than it would if we were earthbound. As someone with a vested in the survival of humanity, it seems a worthy ambition.

11. Its the zillionaires that we never hear about who really worry me.

12. Having someone in the Government of the USA who is not a thick, useless Trump yes man can only be good. 

And what would make me change my mind? That is really quite simple. If I found that I couldn't be arsed looking at it anymore. I'd not flounce off, I'd just stop looking at it and unconsciously disengage, like I did with Friends Reunited and Myspace. Or if Elon Musk bans me as he doesn't like this blog.

----

Anyway, now I've got your attention, here's another plug for The False Dots gig on Sunday at 2pm, at The Dublin Castle. Please come along. We are launching our first album in 45 years! 

Tickets Here >>>>>> wegottickets.com/event/627785

Rock and Roll Stories #16 - An exhilarating life of hanging around bored out of your mind!

Charlie Watts of the Rolling Stones was once asked what it was like playing rock and roll for twenty five years in a band. He replied that he'd spent twenty years hanging around and five years playing in a band. 

The only thing that he got wrong was that you spend far longer hanging around waiting. We will be doing this again this week. On Sunday (17th November) the False Dots will play at The Dublin Castle for our album launch. Our schedule for the day

Soundcheck

Falsedots 12.30-1pm.

Nice Men 1pm -1.30pm

Metropolitan Elite - 1.30pm-2pm

Set Times

Whelligan - 2.30pm 3pm

Nice Men - 3.10 pm-3.55pm

Falsedots - 4.10pm-5pm

I'll probably leave my home in Mill Hill around 11am, and  it will take around 30 mins to break down our gear and get out, although we'll have a drink and a chat with fans after. We'll probably get home around 7pm, so it's eight hours hanging around etc for a 55 minute set. 

So what's it like on tour.  Back in January 1982, the band embarked on a tour of Scandinavia. These were the dates

13th January, Karsbygarden,  Norseborg  - Stockholm

15th January, The Underground club, Stockholm

16th January, Pub Bastun, Aland, Finland

19th January, Tumba Gymasium, Stockholm

20th January, Alby, Stockholm

Me on the ferry to Sweden in 1982

When we left the UK, there was a massive blizzard. Our tour van broke down in Bunns Lane in the ice, so we had to make some panicky re-arrangments. The ferry was also cancelled due to the bad weather, and we were put up in a snobby hotel, courtesy of Tor Line. That set the tone. We got a free dinner and drinks courtesy of them. It was a good laugh, but meant we couldn't rehearse for our first gig. 

Our set was around an hour, so we spent over a week in Scandinavia and played for around five hours. It was an education. You are cooped up with people at close quarters that you don't actually know too well. It was -20 degrees in Stokcholm when we arrived. Beer was around five times the cost of the UK, except in Aland, which was duty free and actually cheaper. As entertainment, we spent most of the time winding each other up. 

There was no internet or satellite TV and the local TV was in Swedish. As we were doing the tour on a mega tight budget, we were staying at the flats of friends, apart from in Aland, where we slept in sleeping bags in the club we played. I rather suspect that Charlie Watts had a more luxurious experience on Stones tours. When we travelled to Aland, there was an amazing Smorgasbrod on the ferry. Every food you could imagine and as much as you wanted. . This was one of the highlights, as we'd not really eaten too much on the. At the venues we got fed, but elsewhere we just had to sort ourselves out. We went to a couple of clubs on the days we weren't playing, but it was mostly just sitting around chatting, reading. The non gigging days were the worst. We'd organised the tour ourselves, so made no provision for entertaining ourselves in the free time. As 18/19 year old with no experience of such things it was a shock. We ended spending quite a few hours writing songs, as there wasn't anything else to do. 

I can remember sitting in a flat in Farsta in Stockholm chatting to our bassplayer Paul Hircombe. He said "Now I get why all musicians are junkies". Alleviating the boredom is crucial. When I next saw my Dad, he asked how the tour had gone. I said "It was the best week of my life, but also the most boring". He told me that his experience flying bombers for the RAF was the same. He gave me a few tips along the line of "Take some cards next time". I'd lived in Stockhom for a few months before the tour, so I'd done the tourist sights. The other boys went out exploring on our days off, I couldn't really be bothered. 

On the gig days, we'd be rounded up at around 2pm, taken to the gig, we'd soundcheck and then hang around until our show at around 10pm. We were friends with the Gagget Band, who supported us, so we'd watch them and we'd also chat to the punters. Quite a few of the Swedish fans were amazed that we were so approachable, but it's always been a big part of our ethos to make the effort. The alternative was siiting in a small room backstage for hours on end. At venues we'd insist on a rider of some beers, so we'd have a few cans, but it's not clever to get bladdered before the show, so we'd not go mad. 

Perhaps the best time was after the shows, when we could relax. All of the shows were pretty good, apart from Tumba Gymnasium, where the PA blew up after three songs and the gig was abandoned. The venue was a large school hall with no atmosphere at all. Craig and Mark were already moaning about it before the PA blew up. It was quite demoralising after three good gigs. The final night at Alby was quite emotional. We'd had such an experience and we were returning and we had no gigs lined up. 

We travelled back by coach and ferry, we'd only taken guitars and borrowed amps from the support band, as the van had blown up. We got back to Victoria coach station and found a cafe nearby. I'd called my sister who'd picked us up. Craig's Dad came and picked him and Mark up. I sat there with Paul, who was only sixteen at the time. What we hadn't realised was the cafe was a Christian drop in centre. A rather attractive lady in her 40's took a shine to Paul and offered to educate him in the ways of the world, when she learned we were musicians returning from tour. It was quite hilarious, who'd have thought a Christian drop in centre would be a pick up joint! I got home, having had the time of my life, but masssively in debt. When we got back, it was a surreal experience. We'd only been gone a week or so, but it felt like a lifetime. We'd realised what we were doing wrong. I loved the experience and wanted to do it again ASAP. Sadly, it didn't work out that way and it was December 1985 before we played abroad again.

When I was home, I can remember running a bath and staring at the ceiling and wondering if times would ever be as good again. 

Who knows, if our album launch goes well..... But we are not 18 now

A blot on the landscape in a beauty spot and a graphic demonstration of the failure of the Barnet Labour regime

Back in May 2022, I hoped that the new Labour regime, with a massive majority, would render this blog redundant when it came to writing about council policy failures. I made a conscious decision to not write blogs about their actions, until they had a chance to demonstrate whether they are up to the job. 

Here we are, two and a half years later and I'm sorry to say that we need bloggers just as much as we ever did. Today we look at a typical example of their complete failure to look after the resources of the Borough properly and how this is having a massive negative effect on our quality of life.

These pictures are of the former cafe/bar at Scratchwoods open space. It has been closed for around two years and is literally falling apart. It is clearly unsafe. The area is used by dog walkers like myself, however the area is littered with broken glass. There are fridges and all manner of things dumped and it is a total eyesore. It is bad enough that Barnet Labour have let an asset fall apart and become dangerous in a local park. It is also scandalous to see public resource that could be let out and rented, bringing in much needed cash, has fallen into such a sorry state. 

A quick search indicates that a property of this size let for lesuire would bring in £25-40,000 per annum, if it was in a lettable condition. That money could be spent on many things. Having a business on site would also improve the ambience of the area. There are many local parks with thriving cafes. Scratchwood is one of the best parks in our area, with not only a lovely grassed area, but also an extensive wood.  There is no reason at all why a cafe shouldn't thrive if run properly.

Sadly, this asset will cost an absolute fortune just to be made safe and to no longer be an eyesore. Barnet Council has a massive financial crisis, with a massive black hole. Although the rent from this is a drop in the ocean, it is a good example of the lack of proper husbandry of council resources. It breaks my hear to see.

The harsh truth about the music business and why you should never give up on your dreams

Hold on tight to your dreams.....

So you want a career in the music industry (or one of your offspring does). You want them to have the best advice and you want someone to mentor them. There are two ways to mentor such a person. There are two methods. I don't subscribe to the first, but you can make a mint doing this, if you are well connected and unprincipled.

You charge them a lot of money, draw up a plan with aims and goals and work with them to achieve them. If you are crafty, and they or their parents are wealthy, you get them to work with the best people, play the best places and record at the best studios (mine or Abbey Road, depending on your budget). If it works, you are a genius and you get a handsome cheque. Basically you take the cash to open a few doors that they don't have the key for. If it fails, you just get a fat cheque and you blame everyone else for not pulling their finger out. There is a lot of money advising the untalented offspring of the wealthy on how to get on in music. 

Then there is the other way.  The way I prefer. You do this if the person is talented, you like them and they don't want to pay you a fortune. What do you do with them? Sit them down and tell them the harsh truth. There are three questions I ask. 1. What do you want out of a career in the music industry? 2. What will you be doing in five years if your career takes off. 3. Do you like Pot noodles. 

If you want to know the correct answer, then you'll have to pay me a lot of money, but if the answer is wrong, there is no conversation to be had. The fourth thing I tell them, if they get the answers to the first three right,  is to come back when they have three tracks that are absolute killers. The reason? Unless you have an absolute killer track in you, then it doesn't matter how pretty, how versatile a musician you are or how rich Daddy is, you are wasting your time. If there is a killer track, then the next thing is to see it performed live. If you've got a killer track and you can deliver it live, then you are in business.

The most successful person ever to pass through our doors at Mill Hill Music Complex was Amy Winehouse, who started her career rehearsing in our studios. When I saw Amy work, I didn't need to ask the first two questions. It was obvious what she wanted and that she had no plan B. She was up for the rock and roll life of pot noodles at 3AM after a drive from Hull in the rain. We mentored Amy unofficially in her early career as we do many musicians. Not by sitting down and drawing up plans, but by providing an environment where she could do what she needed at that stage in her career. The difference with Amy and most other kids who walk through the door was that it was her asking the questions. She'd walk through reception and stop and say "Who is that your playing?" We'd reply "Joni Mitchell". She'd say "What's the track I'll check that out". Sometimes she'd pick up a guitar when she was waiting, strum a song and say "I don't think it sound right". We'd say something like "Try a passing note of B, when you change chord from C to Am". She do it and say "Yeah that sounds cool". She'd ask about which venues the more established bands were saying had the best buzz. She wanted to get the best musical influences, write the best songs and play the venues with the best vibe. I told her that if she wanted a local gig, it had to be The Torrington and if she was looking for a gig in town, it had to be The Dublin Castle in Camden to start. She listened. She played both. She wanted to be a step ahead of the game and she got that it isn't just about play songs and doing gigs, you play the best songs you can and you do the gigs at the venues that will be best for you. I wasn't unique, she asked anyone if she thought they may have an insight. She was also pretty humble with it and would chat about the why's and wherefores. 

The truth about the music industry is that if you want to succeed, you need to know your own mind. You need to have a clear idea of where you want to play and why. You need to play songs that you think are amazing. You need to play gigs with an audience that you know will connect with them. You want the audience to go home and tell all there mates you were amazing and to bring them back next time. So many artists miss this all. They think that something will magically happen and all of a sudden you'll be the next Lady Gaga or Rolling Stones. I hear lots of musicians of my age sneer at both. The thing is that the likes of Gaga and The Stones do what Amy did before she'd even started gigging. They get the best out of their talents, they put the best shows on in the right venues and they play to an audience that will like them. It doesn't matter what level you are at, this is the secret.

Which brings me on to your dreams. We have two main groups of customers. The up and coming ones who are full of dreams and old crusty ones like me, trying to glue back together a few fragments of our dreams to have a bit of fun with, before the grim reaper carts us off to Hades. This Sunday, my band launch our debut album after 45 years. We will be launching it at The Dublin Castle, far and away my favourite grassroots venue in London. A loyal bunch of friends and fans will turn up for the show. For me, it is an important statement. Not just for me, but for every old geezer like me, who's ever looked up at the stars and had a dream. Back in 1990, I put my guitar down for a decade and vowed that "I was done with all of that".  I'd had ten years of broken dreams and I just ran out of energy. We got the band back together in 2000, but it was just for fun. Having my own recording studio, inspired me to "record a few numbers, for my own enjoyment". A few gigs followed. In 2009, an amazing female vocalist turned up at the studio and we roped her in for a year or two. From playing The Three Hammers and The Mill Hill Sports club, we found ourselves back onstage in Camden and getting some serious interest (in her not the band). She got a gig as a backing singer with an international star and we went back to the Mill Hill Sports club!

But it gave me a real taste. We started working on an album, with a singer we worked with in 1985. Some of the songs were good, we were enjoying it, but we weren't setting the world alight and I wasn't 100% happy with the songs. Then lockdown hit. Our singer departed, our drummer had a massive crisis when his son took his own life and we had a new mission. The band became his support mechanism, to get him through lockdown. How? I set myself a task to write songs that made him smile and laugh. Niot cheesy joke/comedy songs, but Ian Duryesque observations on life. I took up singing duties that I'd put down 40 years before. 

And then something odd happened. It all fell into place. To my amazement, the energy we'd had in 1983/4 had returned. An added bonus was that the songs were really hitting the spot. We made a video of The Burnt Oak Boogie and within a week, it had 3,000 views. We did a gig at The Adam and Eve and people loved it. Then we did a gig at The Dublin Castle, just for fun as I fancied it, and it was brilliant. A residency followed and Sunday will be our tenth gig in two years at London's best venue. The final piece in the jigsaw was when trumpet player Tom Hammond joined. Tom was born the year Graham our drummer joined, but it feels like he's been here for ever now. 

We recorded most of the album at my mate Boz Boorer's studio in Portugal. It was a good excuse for a few days in the Sun with the boys. And now, to my amazement my dream is materialising.  Each of the songs is a story. 

We all love a party - Our last Single/video release.  Started life as a reminiscence about the parties my parents used to have when we were kids. Drunken Irish relatives, workmates and drinking buddies of my Dad, jokes, whiskey and punch ups. Always a laugh. Mum always vowed "never again" when they finished. She hated clearing up the debris and the embarrassing incidents. The rest of us loved it. It has become our anthem. The crowd knows the words better than me!

Wacky Races  - Started life when I was reminiscing about the go cart races we used to have as kids in Millway, getting old prams, making go carts and also when my mate Pete fell down a manhole on his new bike and nearly died. I then sprinkled a few other tales of our youth in and observed that kids aren't allowed to have fun anymore. It has a slow, dub reggae vibe. 

Bubble Car - I found a picture of my brother Frank in his bubble car in Manchester in 1967 with his mates. I commented that it would make a great album cover. It morphed into a song about a dodgy band leader trying to seduce a pretty girl by getting her to become the singer in the band. Something that happened a couple of times when we started the band, although we didn't actually have a bubble car. The song has a bouncy a Ska feel, I wanted the song to shout 1968!

Longshot didn't die  - I wrote this song as a Ska song. I wanted Lee Thompson from Madness and Jenny Bellstar to to sing it. I played it to Lee and he said "Why don't you sing it yourself? I'd not thought of it, that was possibly the moment that this iteration of the band was cemented. It is the starting point for the post 2022 sound of The False Dots. It is a re-imagination of what the true story of the Pioneers Ska hit from 1968 was. I love the song. 

The Burnt Oak Boogie -  I wrote this for a laugh. I went to Orange Hill School, we used to bunk off out and go for a cup of tea at The Betta Cafe on Watling Avenue. Somethimes, I'd nip arround to my surrogate Grandma, Annie O'Keef'e's place on Homefield Road for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. A lovely old Irish lady, married to a caretaker called Joe. HE did actually breed budgies and have a dog called Beauty. Dedicated to Annie and Joe.  The Burnt Oak I knew has disappeared. I miss them and I miss the old days.

Buy Me a Bottle of Jack -  A song about dark, suicidal thoughts, prompted by my struggle with prostate cancer and facing up to the life changing effects I've had,  but told with a very dark humour. After I drafted it, I gave the subject some more thought. Three times in my life, I've seriously thought about ending it all. Each time, something has made me laugh, something very dark, but it pulled me back from the brink. There is an absolute plague of young people killing themselves, our Graham's son being one. We need to talk about it. When I have a dark music, I sing myself the song in my head. Here's a live version. 

Don't be scared of a finger up the bum -  An impassioned plea to my mates and men everywhere to get a prostate check. It is a fun song, with a serious message. Regular blog readers will know that I had my prostate removed last year after ten years of living with Prostate Cancer hanging over me.  The album name is a play on this, as well as a reference to the sunshine at Boz's place in the mountains of Portugal. 

Not all She Seems - This and the next songs are over 40 years old. All of the other songs up to now are (relatively) new. This one was written in 1979. The guitar lick was donated to us by Hank Marvin of The Shadows. His son Paul was our drummer for six months in 1980. It is about a transsexual prostitute on the run from a pimp and a Tory MP who is besotted with her. Like many False Dots songs, it is a mash up of two true stories, with a bit of artistic license. We met a transexual girl at the Moonlight Club in 1978. She was in a mess, totally alone and without a friend in the world, only really feeling accepted in the local punk scene. It was also based on a story a prostitute told me at a decorating job I had, I conflated the two.  We wrote it very sympathetically. We wanted to write a song telling the story of someone at the margins, abused by everyone. I am amazed we did so good a job as sixteen year olds.

Action Shock -  This was written in 1982. A mate was a Marine in the Falklands. I saw him six months after he came back. He was a mess, suffering from bad PTSD and was really unpleasant. Six or seven years later, I met him again. He was back to himself. He told me that he'd been to Nepal and spent three years up a mountain smoking dope. He was back to normal. I feel that I should write a follow up, but I've failed to get the right vibe and given up every time I've tried. It was written as a punk thrash. We never played it. When Venessa Sagoe joined in 1983, she insisted we play it. It has been a highlight ever since. It stubbornly refuses to die.

Sci Fi Girls - I used to be obsessed with TV Sci Fi series UFO and I liked Dr Who until Tom Baker took over. I wanted a really rip roaring 70's Bolan/Glam sound to end the album. Boz Boorer, who produced this totally got the vibe. If ever we get any money. I'll remake the video with all of the Sci Fi clips I wanted to use but couldn't get permission.

The song is very much about this pre teenage obsession and the music I was listening to. I wanted it to sound a bit like The Sweet, but my voice is a bit too punk so it ended up a glam / punk mash up. It was on 365  Radio's Juke Box Jury and ace producer said I should try singing. If ever I bump into him, I'll tell him that he should try doing a Crass/Sweet mash up. 

So that's what's on the album. Watch this space, We'll put links to it on Sunday. Hold on to to your dreams. Without them the night is just a dark abyss. You may ask "Why would a 62 year old bloke want to release records and play gigs in trendy Camden Town?" My response "Why wouldn't he!". Please come along if you are free, Tickets from here Falsedots Album Launch Party

The Sunday Reflection #29 - Remembrance Sunday 2024

 One of the traditions of The Barnet Eye blog is our Remembrance Sunday feature. To me, it is important. I always have a quick look at a few of the older editions before I write it, it helps give me some perspective. It is quite an interesting exercise to see how our moods and views change. I also do this as it is important to me and I want something that is not just "How I feel right now". The world is standing at a crossroads. When I read this blog as I prepare next year, we'll have had eleven months of Donald Trump's second term. He'll be nearly a quarter of the way through his term. I was asked if there was anything positive to be had from Trump's re-election. My answer? He didn't start any wars in his first term. If he doesn't start any in his second, then maybe he will go down as a good president. Since he departed, we've seen the Ukraine war and the most awful situation in the middle east develop. Hundreds of thousands of women are mourning dead sons and daughters in countries such as Ukraine, Russia, Israel, Gaza, Lebanon, etc. Remembrance for them is a very raw subject. Trump has vowed to solve all of these crises. For the sake of humanity, I hope he does, but the resolution has to be just and fair. As I always do, I think of my Dad, a WW2 bomber pilot. He always insisted that the main purpose of Remembrance Sunday was to make sure we never forget the horrors of war. He once said "I'd happily forget the whole bloody thing tomorrow, if the world changed and we abolished wars". He didn't mean he'd forget the men who were his friends who died. We were watching a TV series about the war at the time, put together for Remembrance Sunday. He was a bit peeved that it was just a tad too jingoistic for his tastes. A pet dislike of my Dad was the 'Top Brass'. The Generals who directed the campaigns. I once asked him which WW2 general he admired the most. To my amazement, he said Erwin Rommel. I asked why. He said "He was just about the only general who actually cared about the blokes fighting for him". He lent me a book about Rommels life. 

When I read it as a teenager, I didn't really get it. I found the book during lockdown and re-read it. Although no one can excuse Rommel's membership of The Nazi Party, as a general and a military man, he was exceptional. He also came to realise that Hitler was a lunatic and would destroy Germany and he paid for this with his life. The key turning point was when Adolf Hitler ordered him to not concede and inch to the allies and to fight to the last man. The scales fell from Rommel's eyes and he realised exactly what Hitler really was. He ignored the orders, masterminding a brilliant tactical retreat and saving as many of his army as he could. Contrast that with General Paulus in Stalingrad, who obeyed such orders, resulting in the total destruction of his army and hastening the end of the war. My father was of the view that the "Top Brass" in the RAF didn't have the same concern for the bomber crews they commanded. Crews were sacrificed in far too many futile missions with little military value. I asked if he ever took part in such a mission. He said that as his squadron was operating obsolete Wellington Bombers from Italy, his targets were almost all tactical in support of military operations or sound strategic targets such as oil fields. I think he always felt that the RAF should have been spending more time bombing military targets and less time carpet bombing civilians. Sadly he's not here to really give us the full perspective. 

I asked him once about whether he thought the carpet bombing could be justified. His reply was that when you are dealing with someone like Adolf Hitler, anything and everything was justified. I asked if it was the most effective use of the RAF and he was less certain. He said "All bomber crews preferred bombing weapons factories, armies, airfields, bridges, railways and oil fields than civilians and there were plenty we didn't hit". I also asked if I thought any good came from the carpet bombing. He said "It made Germany realise that starting wars is a bad thing".

I was 24 when my Dad passed away. If I could change anything in my life, I'd have had him survive long enough to get all of this down properly in this blog. As it was, I wasn't interested in his war service at the time he passed away. I was more interested in music. I didn't properly value the wealth of experience he had. I was just a young man, who had a very different life experience to him. I respected him and his efforts, but it wasn't something I had any interest in exploring. Now it fascinates me. What was ironic in the extreme was that when I'd started playing music, my Dad was not in the least interested. In the last year of his life, he started to take an interest. He came to see us at The Grahame Park festival, which was a big open air gig. He was actually quite impressed. He said it reminded him a little bit of when bands and artists would come over and perform for the troops. He liked the fact that everyone was having a good time. He complemented me on the way I dealt with some young scalliwags, who'd been giving some of the other bands a hard time. I told them that hooligans like them were always welcome at False Dots gigs and complemented them on their demented dancing. You may wonder what this has to do with Remembrance Sunday? Well things have come full circle. Today, Dad would have been most proud. He was a member of the Mill Hill Services Club, a club I've now been a member of for a fair few years. Every year, the club has a Remembrance Service for fallen members, relatives and friends. This year, I was proud to enlist the trumpet player from my band, to play the last post. Tom Hammond gave an impeccable rendition. We then had a pint and a couple of games of pool. Dad would have approved. We live in uncertain times, but one lesson Dad always impressed was make the best of it and try and have fun, even in adversity. 

Here is the service #WeWillRemember

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Roger Tichborne (@rogtex)

The Saturday List #461 - My top ten London grassroots venues to perform at

 Next Sunday (17th November) my band, The False Dots will play at The Dublin Castle for the release of our long awaited (45 Years) debut album (please buy a ticket and come down). We chose the Dublin Castle, as we have a residency there and it is our favourite venue to play. We've played there ten times in the last couple of years and it is always a good night. It got me thinking about all of the London venues we've played over the last five decades. We've played some great ones, some awful ones and some truly bizarre ones. It seemed sensible to do a list of my favourites.

1. The Dublin Castle. I've always loved it. What is even better is they seem to like us! Both the management and the punters. It is worth a visit, just to see the memorabilia. We even wrote a song about it and made a video celebrating the venue.

2. Dingwalls. We are talking about the old Dingwalls, not the redeveloped venue (which we've only played upstairs at Lock 17). We played there in February 1984. It was our best ever London gig. The whole place went absolutely mental at our set. It was a buzz playing a venue where I'd seen so many of my hero's play, artists such as Johnny Thunders, David Johansen, Country Joe McDonald, The Vibrators, to name a few. And there we were. After the gig, we were offered a management deal and promised a record deal. What could possibly go wrong. 

Onsatge at Dingwalls

The amazing Venessa Sagoe was our lead singer. She should have been a massive star. We were the middle band in a new band night. We had 30 minutes. Our set was exactly 30 mins and every number was a banger. On my final breath, when my life flashes before my eyes, I hope that is on the showreel!

My best memory of Dingwalls as a punter was seeing Johnny Thunders play. Half way through, he announced. "I need a joint, if you can roll me a joint, I'll give you a bag of coke. My mate Ubungus immediately rolled one and handed it to Johnny. Thunders said "See me after". Ubungus excitedly went to get it at the end and the security guards threw him out.  

3. The Moonlight Club, West Hampstead. When Pete Conway and myself started the band, this was our hangout. We saw bands there such as The Monochrome Set and The Damned. It was the gig we most wanted to do when we started the band. Our first gig there was in March 1983. It wasn't great. The band had returned from a tour of Sweden and we weren't getting on. It was the last gig of our first incarnation. We decided after the gig that we "needed a proper singer". We also parted company with our drummer Mark Barnett after the gig. Our ambition was to 'become a proper band'. In hindsight a terrible mistake. We should have concentrated on being quirky and different, something which had actually worked pretty well most of the time, but we'd not seen it.  We played the Moonlight club a few times. The promoters there liked us. We knew all of the staff and they looked after us. We got paid almost what we get paid now to play. Sadly, musicians are not valued in the world of music.  The club has long gone, which is a massive shame as it was a brilliant venue. It had been Klooks Kleek, a seminal JAzz venue in the 1960's. The Rolling Stones used to hang out at the Railway Pub, which was host of the venue in the 1960's when they were recording at Decca Studios. They were once ambushed by Teddy Boys and fled to the local branch of Dewhursts, apart from Charlie Watts, who stayed, completely unruffled.

4. The Purple Turtle in Camden Town. We played at The Purple Turtle on June 15 2010. It was the first 'proper venue' gig we'd done since 1989. Up until that point, we'd just been playing benefits and local festivals, but when Connie Abbe joined the band, we realised we needed to play the circuit. We supported Jock McDonalds Bollock Brothers. I'd never been before (or since) but it was a wonderful venue and we gave a blistering performance. It was the moment that I realised I missed playing 'proper gigs'.  It was by far our best gig with Connie. A bunch of my IT colleagues came down and were amazed when they saw the band. I think they expected old blokes playing country and western covers! The venue shut a few months after. A real loss. 

5. The Bull Theatre in Barnet. We played there twice in 1985 when Allen Ashley first joined the band. In 2008 we played with a big charity night. For the band, it was a massive date, although we didn't realise it at the time. It was the last ever gig with Paul Hircombe on bass. Paul joined in 1980. He moved to Portsmouth after the gig in 2008, joined a criminal gang, went to prison for a year then died of cancer. Until that point, I couldn't really envisage playing without Paul in the band. Although he'd been away for short spells, throughout, I always thought he'd be a part of it. That gig was notable as the headline act was a pick up band featuring Lee Thompson of Madness and Chris Spedding. The band evolved into what is now The Silencerz. The gig was officially organised by Kate Nash's Dad Steve (who got matched funding from RBS where he worked, meaning we raised £6,000). We also played last year and this year with The Silencerz. I really like playing the venue. It feels like a home fixture. 

6. The Bald Faced Stag in Burnt Oak. This may shock a few local snobs. The False Dots had a residency at The Bald Face Stag in 1983/4 when Venessa Sagoe was in the band. The Stag had the reputation as being the meanest, most dodgy pub in the Borough of Barnet. Out of the blue in 1983, I got a call from the Landlord. He told me that he was planning to transform The Stagg. He was going to be putting on live music and wanted us to be the house band! Even better, he was offering proper money to do it. 

Despite the reputation, we always had an absolute blast at The Stag. Not only that, but we were properly looked after. Sadly, the landlord only lasted around six months. It was fun whilst it lasted. I think we are the only band (apart from No Biscuits who played with us) to do a benefit gig for Greenham Common protests at The Stag. A guy called Tony Byrne made a video of it. If anyone knows Tony and if he still has the video, I'd love to get hold of it.

7. The Fiddlers Elbow, Chalk Farm. We've played the Fiddlers Elbow a couple of times. It is a nice venue and they do their best to look after you and keep music going. We used it as our venue to launch The Save London Music Campaign. We supported Dell Richardson of Osibisa back in 2015. We also played there with Connie Abbe in 2010. The governor is a proper music lover. If we didn't have a Camden residency at The Dublin Castle, we'd deffo have played more gigs there. Seen quite a few great startup bands there.

8. The Midland Arms, Hendon. Lets be clear here. This is not the Midland Hotel, which we played a few times with Allen Ashley between 2010 and 2019. The Midland Arms is now The Claddagh Ring. The Claddagh is a perfectly fine Irish pub, I like the owner Finbar, but back in the 1980's it was a proper music venue. I have a real soft spot for it as it was the first proper venue the band did, with a stage and a proper PA. We supported Way of The West, who had a BBC Radio 1 single of the week, with Don't say it's just for white boys. The music was run by Rob Armstrong, a local music legend. We played a couple of times later in the 1980s, when Neil Cox, formerly of The Mods was singing with us. 

The Claddagh does have band regularly, they are usually in the downstairs area. We have played there a couple of times, but the new layout of the function room is not ideal for proper rock and roll gigs. The downstairs is great for Irish bands and cover bands.

9. Gooners club, The Copper, Tower Bridge Road. We played here a couple of times in 1982/1983. The club was run by an 'impressario' called Jeff Le Marchand, who had designs on managing the band. The governor loved us and would give us free drinks. The pub was also the venue for the Police Five Xmas special with Shaw Taylor. When we played our second gig there, for a laugh we did a country and western rap called The Dukes of Hazard Rap and the punters started line dancing. The governer told us he'd double our money if we did Irish music next time.  Being silly fools we declined. Jeff Le Marchand lost interest in us when he started to manage a band called "The Glass Ties" who featured the son of Bruce Welsh of The Shadows. It was only researching this that I learned that they actually got a deal with EMI records, so I suppose he made the right decision. Sadly, I have only this tiny memento to share. 

10.  And finally.....  Mill Hill Music Complex. Of course I own the studios, so I would say that. We have done some blistering gigs over the years here. Many I didn't record in the list, as I rather snobbishly didn't consider them 'proper gigs'. I do now, people come and have a good time! There are many stories that I could tell, but the one that really is burned in my mind was 20th August 1983. We set up a stage at the end of the yard, had a big PA system and we arranged for a bar and a barbeque. About 150 people turned up. My then girlfriend's sister was going out with a drug dealer from Burnt Oak, who fancied himself as a bit of a chef. He offered to 'cook a stew'. This was served as we started to play and about 30 people had a bowlful, that was delicious. As our set progressed, to our bemusement, the scene in the yard from Shaun of the Dead. It seemed like half of our friends had turned into Zombies. On, a Turkish chap called Genghis fell asleep using the PA Bass bin as pillow. None of us had a scoobie what was going on. More people were arriving. When we came off stage, I went to see my girlfriend but she was throwing up. The next thing, we heard sirens on the M1 motorway at the end of the yard. Someone shouted that my brother Laurie was being detained by Police and they'd shut the motorway. I ran down with a couple of mates, we climbed the bank and there was Laurie, zombified and dribbling in the middle of the M1, with a bunch of angry police. I shouted to the police, thinking on my feet. "Thank God you found him". Laurie was saying "We are going to planet Zob". The copper came over. I said "That's my brother, he's escaped. We've been looking everywhere for him". Given Laurie's demeanour and the fact we were 100% sober, they had no reason to disbelieve us. They threw him over the fence and asked us to make sure he got home safely.  His wife was summoned and that was the end of the evening for him. It transpired that our 'chef' for the evening had put a large amount of opium in the stew, getting the amount wrong and nearly euthanising 30 people. We'd had none of it so were 100% fine. When he'd realised what he'd done, he'd scarpered. I spent the evening making sure my girlfriend didn't choke to death. I hindsight it was a hilarious scene, but at the time it was massively stressful.  These days, our gigs are far more sedate and respectable. I don't condone spiking people. It really could have ended badly. Fortunately, no lasting damage was done, apart from to me girlfriends sisters relationship. I think she realised the fella was a knobhead. 

Quite a few London studios now host gigs, as the number of venues has declined. We are hosting regular evenings, which are bring your own drinks, so young bands can play