Peter Mandelson and why Sir Keir Starmer should sack himself

 Unlike most people who have an opinion on Peter Mandelson, I've met him. I must add that it was in a business not a leisure setting and it was back in the days when Gordon Brown invited him back into the government, following one of his many sackings. I hadn't been a fan, but I was impressed by his grasp of his brief as business secretary. I was never a Blairite and I hadn't been a fan, but it was fascinating to see him in action. What became 100% clear to me was that he seemed to have a cast iron belief that he was a genius and everyone else in the room was a blithering idiot, who unfortunately had to be humoured. I have long been fascinated by the way people behave, what their body language tells you and the signals they give off. Mandelsons whole manner is "I am in charge here, don't bother arguing, this is the way we will do this". In most people that would be completely insufferable, he had a grasp of detail and the matters at hand that meant no one even wanted to challenge him. He instinctively identified the important people in the room (not me) and turned the charm on. For the rest of us, I am not sure if he even realised we existed and after any of us spoke there was little or no acknowledgement of what we had said, although five minutes later he was repeating this verbatim as if it was all his work. I've met all manner of politicians over the years, including Thatcher, Jim Callaghan, Ed Balls, Ed Milliband, Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell, Sor Charles Kennedy to name a few that come to mind. Meeting Mandelson was different. He was the only one who left me questioning whether I actually existed at all. What was interesting was that the other people I went with were either completely over awed by his charm or his brilliance or both. 

I saw something else.  I realised that Mandelson was an incredibly intelligent, shrewd and calculating individual. He saw his role as business secretary primarily as a vehicle to get Gordon Brown re-elected as Prime Minister. He made it 100% clear that every decision he made as business secretary between then and the election would be based on how it would play in key marginals. He was not interested in whether it would be good in the long term for the UK. His view as that Labour getting re-elected was the absolute be all and end all of the matter. I got the impression that if he could bulldozer the bits of marginal constituncies that had Tory voters, he'd happily do it. He wasn't at all interested in what was good for staunch Labour areas or Tory areas. Due to NDA's I never said a word at the time. As what I am saying is not relevant to the business I was doing and is just my personal observations of the man, I think it is safe to recall these impressions.

I left with the view that Mandelson was someone who I would never like or trust, but I completely understood why Brown saw him as a necessary evil. Mandelson correctly identified that Brown had let things drift and the ship needed to be tightened up. To this day, I think that the reason the Tories didn't get a majority in 2010 is because Mandelson had got them focussed on the politics rather than the distractions. I suspect that if Brown had bitten the bullet and brought him back six months earlier, they may even have won. By the time of the election, I'd left the Labour party and when I studied their material in 2010, I saw the imprint of Mandelson all over it. 

I mention this because I think it gives some insight into why Sir Keir Starmer appointed Mandelson as a ambassador to the USA. What was clear to me is that Mandelson was very good at targeting people who he thought mattered and making them feel special. I could see this in the meeting we had. My boss went in being very sceptical of Mandelson and leaving thinking he was a genius. But that was sixteen years ago. A lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then and any Prime Minister worth his salt would realise that Mandelson should be dealt with using a very long bargepole. I am sure that Mandelson persuaded Starmer that Mandelson and Trump moved in the same circles and they had a good personal relationship. The trouble is that those circles were centered around convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. I simply refuse to believe that Starmer was unaware of this fact. Mandelson's statement that because he was gay, he didn't see any of that sort of behaviour is simply untenable. He is the type of guy who is well briefed about everyone and everything. Sadly, if you know a bunch of rich men, with unsavoury nocturnal habits, that is a very powerful tool to use if you want to climb the greasy pole which is the worlds political scene. 

Sir Keir Starmer has the entire weight of the civil service, MI5, MI6, Special Branch, GCHQ etc at his disposal. The concept that none of these said "Prime Minister, this idea of yours to make Peter Mandelson the US Ambassador is a very brave decision, do you know who he was friends with and that the Democrats are hell bent on ensuring all of the papers are released". Now even if you personally were not bothered that the bloke you wanted as ambassador liked to hang around with very unsavoury people, common sense is that you should say "Well on reflection, it may not be the best idea".

But Sir Keir Starmer didn't say this. He appointed Mandelson and has landed up in a situation that doesn't require Mystic Meg's foresight to see was always going to be a disaster. I can see how some people may be taken in by Mandelson, he knows how to press peoples buttons, but this wasn't about a nice chat at a party. It was about selecting the best person to represent us at the court of the President of our biggest and most powerful ally. Sir Keir Starmer could have selected the best career diplomat at his disposal, one with zero risk and contacts across the board in Washington., who could have ensured that the UK was properly briefed and had dialog with all camps (that is what career diplomats do). But he chose Mandelson, because Mandelson and Trump seemingly moved in the same rather grubby circles. 

What disturbs me most is why Mandelson was seemingly so fascinated with Epstein. I can see why the likes of Trump and the artist formerly known as Prince (Andrew) were. A cursory glance at the pictures tell that story. But Mandelson? Today we learned of claims that Epstein paid Mandelsons partner a huge sum of money. Now Mandelson has claimed it never happened, but in my experience, the reasons that people behave badly are almost always because they want sex, money or both. If you want to know the truth, follow the money. Mandelson claims he wasn't interested in the sex parties as girls isn't his thing. He claims that he didn't receive the money. What was the basis of his friendship with Epstein then. I can't see them swigging beers and talking about Arsenal? 

Which again comes back to Sir Keir Starmer. Did he ever ask Mandelson what was the basis of his relationship with Epstein. Starmer is a barrister and this question is the obvious one. Starmer seems to have gone to ground. I can see exactly the reasons why Starmer appointed Mandelson. What I can't see, for the life of me, is why he ignored all of the reasons he shouldn't. It is called judgement and it is 100% clear that Starmer has no sense of judgement at all. How many times did Mandelson get sacked, yet Starmer still appointed him? How many warnings did Starmer get about his inappropriate friends? 

I have to say that until relatively recently, I thought Starmer was an intelligent bloke, who was having a few problems getting to grips with a very difficult job, in turbulent times. What the Mandelson fiasco has laid bare is that he simply has no sense of judgement at all. If Keir Starmer had any decency at all, he'd call a press conference, apologise to the people of the UK and the USA for appointing Mandelson and then announce that he's sacking himself, because he's realised he lacks the judgement required to do the job. 

If I wake up tomorrow and Hell has frozen over, I will know he's taken my advice. As for whether Mandelson should be in the House of Lords. The further away this man is from the corridors of power, the better for decency and honesty in UK politics. I can recall talking to one of my colleagues about Mandelson after the meeting. They said "Blimey, I wouldn't want to be on the worng side of him". I repled "To be honest, I am not sure I want to be on the right side of him either, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him".  Sadly for Starmer, he failed to see what was obvious to me in 2009. 

The Sunday Reflection #75 - How will you pay your bills when AI nicks all of your money

I had a bizarre and worrying dream. I went to the butchers to get our Sunday Roast and there was a big queue of people outside, many were irate. It seems that no one had any money to pay for their sausages. Our butcher Gerard was saying "Sorry I can only serve you if you have cash". I couldn't really figure out what was going on, but I realised that the reason was quite simple. Everyone's cards and payment apps were not working. Then someone said "The big AI has nicked all of our money". I realised that an AI had gone rogue and hacked everyone's bank accounts and nicked all of the money. I realised that as there were no bank branches, there was nowhere to get any cash, even if you had any money in your bank account. The Big AI had also closed the internet and mobile phone networks down. In a flash, we were back to where we were in about 1982. Can you imagine a world where a giant rogue AI had hacked everything and nothing that used technology and was networked worked anymore?

When I woke up I started to think about the brave new world my head had invented. Could a rogue AI do that? Just suppose it implanted itself on everyone's smartphones, everyone's laptops, everyone's smart speaker. Imagine that an AI had become sentient and decided that it was going to take over everything. Imagine if we had to switch off all of our technology. Imagine if every bank in the world lost all the data on its computers. Imagine that such a rogue AI decided who could have electricity and gas. The one vulnerability of any AI system is that it needs a supply of electricity. If the power goes off, then the AI goes off. So to some extent, it would need human being to keep the power stations running. 

I wondered how long it would take society to re-adapt to a word without tech. In the short term, we'd have to have some system of barter and exchange to get goods. Everyone who's job involved sitting on any sort of computer would instantly be redundant and unless they had a sock full of cash under the bed, they would be completely skint. Railways wouldn't work, as signalling system would not function. No air travel as no air traffic control. When your car ran out of petrol, there would be no more. When you turn on your taps, the water would stop flowing. Riots would be hard to organise, as no one would have whatsapp to know where to meet up. In the short term, people would have to sell valuables just to get some cash for food.

I suspect that we'd actually adapt far more quickly than you might expect. I got to thinking, would it actually be better, once we'd got over the shock of no radio, no TV, no internet and no transport. You see, food still grows, we'd just have to make a bit more effort procuring it. Cash would come back rather quickly. We'd have to go out and talk to each other. I suspect that we'd have a renaissance of pubs, live music and entertainment. We'd realise that a lot of the things we get very upset about would simply disappear. Imagine a world where you'd never have to listen to another rambling speech by Donald Trump. A world where if you wanted to watch football, you had to go to the match. A world where if you want to listen to music, you have to go to a venue and pay cash to see them. A world where the artist got the money, not tech platforms.

I wonder if our government has a plan for such an occurrence. There are all manner of hostile players who would love to develop just such an AI. Imagine if Putin or Xi could turn off our IT and nick all the money from our banks, or even malicious hackers. There is absolutely no technical reason why such a scheme couldn't be executed. I used to work in IT and I had to conduct a review of the vulnerabilities of one of our major high street banks. My boss was going to an international conference to discuss the threats from cyber hackers and hostile states. We drew up a map of the entire IT network and worked out all of the vulnerabilities and weak entry points. We then enacted a plan to try and plug all of the gaps. When my boss gave his talk, he was amazed that almost none of his peers in other organisations had even started to consider such things. That was ten years ago. I am sure things have moved on, but what I also became aware of is that with the advent of quantum computers, even the sensible precautions we'd taken may not be enough. With the rise of AI, there are technologies that could theoretically outsmart the best defences of networks. Although I think the chances of a total wipeout of all IT systems by a malicious AI are low, I expect there to be a massive disaster caused by rogue AI systems at some point in the next five years. I am stuffing that sock full of cash under the bed as we speak

The Saturday List #374 - Ten things I have realised that Dad was right about

39 years ago today was possibly the worst day of my life. I was awoken early, by a phone call from my brother Laurie telling me that my Dsd had died. It was a massive shock. He had been on holiday in Florida and having the time of his life. He was spending money like water, much to my mothers annoyance. He had a new credit card and he was maxing it out to the limit. What I hadn't realised is that my Mum's sister had died and they had returned. Dad had an anuerism in the early hours, we believe brought on by the cold weather. 

I was getting on well with my Dad at the time. This had not always been the case. We are both strong characters and had several stand up punch ups. We disagreed on many things. He was Tory, I was Labour. He was a staunch Roman Catholic, I considered myself an atheist back then. He believed that the carpet bombing of Berlin was the correct thing to do. I didn't. There were many things we disagreed on. Dad thought I was a complete idiot. He didn't get my music, my fashion, my politics. my sense of humour. It was reciprocal. The last time we met, we had a great beer and a chat and it was civilised. He told me that he'd completely misunderstood me and that he realised I was a strong character who did things the way I wanted. He had realised that I argued because I believed in what I was doing, noi just to annoy him. It was the only grown up conversation we ever really had. Then he was gone. Over the years, I came to realise he was right about many things I had thought he was completely wrong about. To mark his memory, I thought I'd publish a list.

1. Electric Blankets. My Dad was from sub tropical Australia and hated the cold. He hated London's weather. His solution was to lie in bed every morning, drinking tea, reading the papers, ,doingt the puzzles and saying the Rosary and chilling out with the electric blanket on. When I was a little kid, it was a real treat to jump in with him, in his nice warm bed and do the puzzles and say the Rosary with him. By the time I was a teenager, I thought it was ridiculous behaviour. However in recent months, we bought an electric blanket and I find I am morphing into my Dad. Tehre is nothing better than lying in bed, doing a Soduku with the leccy blanket on. 

2. Big Juicy Steaks. When Dad died, I was a non meat eater. I did eat fish. Dad took this as a sign I was an idiot. I felt that farming techniques were cruel. Dad grew up on a farm and saw farm animals as food. When we had our last chat, he said "If the reason you are not eating meat is because you think farming is cruel, would you eat a wild deer you'd shot if you were hungry?". My reply was that I am not into killing animals. In 2000, I got really ill with a vitamin deficiency. The doctor advised me to eat meat, especially liver. The symptoms immediately disappeared. I guess Dad was right all along. I do love a big, juicy steak, but I only buy quality meat from proper butchers.

3. Songs should have melodies. Dad simply didn't get most punk rock. He said it had no tune. When he heard our band, he advised us to get some songs "with proper tunes". He was right. When I started listening, the music got better. In 1986, Dad came to see us at Grahame Park Festival. He was very impressed and said he didn't realise we were a proper band.

4. The Labour Party. Dad told me that he hated the Labour Party as it stifled creativity and innovation. I thought this was absolute rubbish. Sadly, both Sir Keir Starmer and the Barnet Labour Party have proven him right. I don't think the Tories are any better.

5. Police and Thieves. Dad believed that the job of the Police was to catch criminals and lock them up. I believed that their role should be wider and they should have a role in building communities. I have come to realise that the Metropolitan Police does not have the resources to do this and should concentrate on its core role. Dad explained that the place to rehabilitate criminals was in prisons. He explained that it was 'Unchristian to lock people up with no effort to get them to sort their lives out'. He was, of course, right.

6. Muslims. Dad worked in the Middle East. His views on Muslims and Arabs were complicated to say the least and by todays standards overtly racist. However, he also told me that many of the Muslims he worked with and had dealings with were fine people. He would tell the story of a crew in his squadron who were Indian Muslims. They were struggling with the stress of missions. As they were devout, they didn't drink. Dad spoke to the Medical Officer, who ordered them to have three large Whiskys in the mess, after every mission, to help with the stress. He also said that they were not to drink at any other time. They survived the war and in 1982, Dad met one at a reunion. He said he'd only got through the war because of that. He had not drank since.  Dad said that he'd realised that they were just like everyone else. Good and bad in all communities.  I had thought Dad a terrible racist, but his views were more nuanced. I just couldn't see past the language he used.

7. Comedians. Dad would say "Funny is funny". He'd laugh at the likes of Bernard Manning, Jim Dvidson, etc. By the time I was in my late teens, I found them revolting. However, I had missed one element. Such people were great comedians. I didn't like their material, but they were good at delivering it and they used the material as this was what people wanted to hear at the time. About five years after Dad died, I was listening to Fred Housego on the Radio, He played a selection of Bernard Manning jokes, all of which were clean, funny and expertly delivered. I realised that he was a brilliant comic and could deliver any material. As Fred Housego said "It's a bit of a shame that he didnt' do more of this".

8. Spaghetti. Dad once advised me never to order Spaghetti. It seemed an odd thing to say. But it is impossible to eat proper spaghetti elegantly and without making a mess. He was right.

9. The Church and Priests. I stopped going to Church in 1976 as I didn't like a couple of the priests at the Sacred Heart. We had a massive fight about it. Dad told me I was an idiot and I'd go to hell. When we had our last chat, we revisted the subject. He told me that I'd made the mistake of thinking The Church was the priests who said mass. He said it wasn't. It was the billion people in the large community. He said it was our job to be good people and do good. He confided that what really upset him about our fight, was that he knew I was right about the priests. He said he'd have knocked one of them out, if he hadn't been a priest. He said he just couldn't properly explain at the time. He said that if you went to church, you would know what was happening in the community and have the opportunity to do good things. He was right. I try and ignore priests I don't like now.

10. Fashion and clothes. Dad used to despair of our punk rock fashions. He told me I'd never get a nice girlfriend if I looked like a tramp. He confided that he was absolutely amazed that I seemed to have a constant supply of pretty girls who seemed to like me as a teenager. He couldn't understand why they would even look at someone who wore scruffy jeans and t-shirts. Times had moved on. However, ten years after he passed away, I was chatting to my nephew. He was moaning that he couldn't get a girlfriend. I said "Cut your hair, develop a style in clothes and always look as if you've had a bath". I then gave him a haircut, removing his long, greasy locks. WIthin a few weeks he'd giot a lovely girl. He nicked my style, the red check shirts (which is was a bit of a trademark for many years). It was only after that I realised I sounded like my Dad!

Saving Londons music venues - One pint at a time! (and the local music round up)

 I have neglected the subject of saving London's music venues a bit recently. I've been too busy trying to save my own one, Mill Hill Music Complex. The post Covid era is proving to be really challenging for us. People have changed their behaviour and we have had to adapt a lot of the things we do. I will save that for another post. Today we are looking at London's live music scene. 

As a working musician, promoter and venue owner, it is clear to me that no one in any sort of power has a clue about how the music industry actually works at a grassroots level. This is an area that is vital to the UK's music industry, which is worth around £5 billion in direct revenue to UK PLC and ten times that in indirect benefit.

Lets start with a few basic principles. No one ever visited London to sunbathe on the River Thames. People come here because we are a cultural hub. A visitor to London can see museums, shows, gigs, pubs restaurants, etc unrivalled anywhere in the world. Every trip to a show or a museum for most people will involve some sort of food & drink, be it a pub, a restaurant, a cafe or even just a bottle of water from a convenience store. All of this generates jobs and prosperity. That is without the huge sums recorded music generates from radio, TV, websites and streaming services. But no musician wakes up one morning with a career, without lots of hard work and learning the ropes. That is where grassroots venues come in. 

However, what most people don't really get is that live music in small venues is almost never staged because the owner of the establishment likes music. They may, but the reason they put music on is to boost footfall and sell more drink, and food at venues like Pizza Express. In short, no matter how much a venue owner/manager loves music, it has to pay its way. In most pubs and clubs, it is not the owner who books artists. This is down to the promoter. Often the promoter rents the venue (not always) and then sells tickets, covering their costs (sound man, doorman, advertising, wages) and paying bands. If enough punters come in and the pub owners/managers make more than if they'd not had music on, then the venue will be successful. However the venue owner may decide that food or comedy is more lucrative. The promoter also needs to make a profit. It is one of the most thankless tasks. Most bands put little or no effort into promoting their own shows. The False Dots have played around 40 gigs since lockdown and of the bands we've played with (around 100), maybe only 10-15 have brought more than a dozen people with them. Many haven't even posted links to the show or the ticket website. Most professional pluggers know that events at small venues have a promotion cycle of 6-8 weeks, where you need to be constantly engaging and raising interest. One or two posts won't do. You need to post constantly and post things that are different and engaging. If you don't, then people won't come. If they don't come, then the promoter and the pub make no money and will not survive. 

But just getting people to gigs is nt enough. You need your fans to drink in the venue. If your fans go to the Wetherspoons down the road, before they turn up, then they might as well not come as far as the pub operator is concerned. The Wetherspoons may be cheaper, but they are not putting the music on. Of course getting people to pay £7 a pint rather £4 at the cheapo pub is no easy task, but it is at least worth trying. 

The sad truth is that grassroots venues get no help from anyone.In some ways, this means that you have to be good to survive, but it also means that you are always walking a tightrope. The False Dots have had the honour of a residency at legendary London venue, The Dublin Castle. We are mates with Tony, the promoter. We know the challenges he faces. We see the good things he does and why he does the things we don't like! Tony is a music lover, who cares about the bands. He also understands the finances and the dynamics of making a venue work. At the end of the day, he has to pay his engineers, his doormen and he has to pay his bills. 

Tony knows that when he books The False Dots, we will plug our gigs, we will get our fans down and we will have a drink in the bar with them after the show. This means that the Landlord is also happy. So many bands finish and don't even have a pint in the pub. It infuriates me when I see it, because I understand it is a business. 

I contributed to a Parliamentary Inquiry into live music. Sadly, nothing useful came out of it. There are several things that the Government and local authorities should be doing. These are practical things that will make a huge difference.

1. Cut business rates for venues by 75%. I would pay for this by doubling rates on bookmakers, which I believe are a corrosive industry. This would encourage pubs to add music and arts events to the menu. I would suggest a minimum of 50 events a year. This would make venues get creative. I would also require evidence of promotion of such events. 

2. Introduce agent of change legislation, protecting established venues from noise and nuisance complaints from neighbours, especially in new developments.

3.  Give tax breaks for companies investing in soundproofing for live music, rehearsal and recording. 2) Designate established music related sites (venues, studios, etc) as protected sites with stringent planning rules around change of use planning applications. 

4. Require local authorities to ensure that provision of spaces for music and art are integral parts of all large scale planning applictions. Put restrictions on these to guarantee that they are provided and not repurposed.

5. Require local authorities to ensure that music venues are not left empty to rot by developers seeking to get around planning laws. This could be done by setting quadruple business rates on such properties which are left empty for more than six months.

All of this would re-invigorate the grassroots arts and music scene. 

And on to our local music scene. Justin case you weren't aware, The London Borough of Barnet has plenty going on. My band, The False Dots have two great gigs coming up (click for details)

And here are this weeks gigs! (follow the Barnet Music Facebook page for details and updates).

Friday 30th
Lord Kitchener 8.30pm – late One Man Stand
Queens Arms 8pm  Karaoke
Barrington 8.30pm – closing Johnnos Karaoke
Butchers Arms 8pm – Midnight Fast and Bulbous (DJ)
Saturday 31st
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm The Past Unperfect Trio (Country/blues)
Toolans 9pm –11.30pm Dan McHugh Music (Irish plus 70s-00s music)
Queens Arms 9.30pm Soul Disco Band

Sunday 1st
Ye Olde Monken Holt 7pm – 9pm Hannah Harris (Covers)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available)
Toolans 8.30pm – 11pm Two in Accord

Monday 2nd
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) Barnet Acoustics Session

Tuesday 3rd
The Lord Nelson 7.30- Open Mic Night (1st Tuesday of month)

Wednesday 4th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm Open Mic Night

Thursday 5th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm Irish Session
Sebright Arms Barnet 8ish Karaoke (fortnightly)

Friday 6th
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm Groove Rats (Rock/blues)
Goodwin House East Barnet 2pm – 3pm Leon Knight (Solo artist)

And finally, the Friday joke!

Thanks to our mate Robert Wilkinson. It is terrible, but it did make me laugh.

My dog keeps barking at common people.
Turns out I've bought a Jarvis Cocker spaniel.

— Robert Wilkinson (@robertwlk) January 18, 2026

You never know, Nigel Farage might make us all millionaires!

 I read the news today (oh boy). Suella Braverman has become the latest defector from The Tories to Reform. There was a post on Facebook that said there are more of Liz Truss's cabinet in Reform than there are on the Tory front bench now. I haven't check this fact (life is too short), but as I chatted with a member of Mill Hill Services club earlier about the defection, a strange thought ocurred to me. Truss sparked off a mini inflation bubble with her dodgy budget, that caused a run on the pound and lead to her getting the sack before the lettuce wilted (as a side note, was the lettuce the greatest ever gift to UK journalism from the Daily Star?). However you look at it, the unreformed (forgive the pun) Trussites are seemingly gravitating toward Farage on mass. It is clear that Farage must be a fan of Trussonomics, as he's only been too keen to welcome them. But what does this actually mean, if Reform make the next government.

I was thinking of my Dad. He always said that his ambition in life was to bea  millionaire. His plan to acheive it? He did the pools every week. Although he hated football, he was fascinated by the pools and would study form. He'd ask me my opinion, as the in house football expert, on which games I thought would be score draws. I'd make my predictions and always get it wrong. However if Dad was still alive, it is always possible that his dream would have been realised under a new Reform government. They are welcoming a whole bunch of failed politicians, who's polices spooked the market and kicked off an  inflation bubble. If such people won a general election with the sort of mandate that the polls seem to be predicting, there would be no one to stop them. Have they learned? This seems very unlikely,given Truss's pronouncements that she was right and everyone else is wrong. 

I asked Google's AI what it thought. It's reply "In summary, many economic analysts believe the large, uncosted tax cuts proposed by Reform UK in 2024 would likely have increased inflationary pressures, although the party argued its efficiency savings would make its plans sustainable. "

So Reform believe that they can pay for tax cuts with increased efficiency. Where have we heard that before. Forgive my scepticism, but I can only see two possible outcomes. Reform stick to their guns and we have a period of high inflation, or alternatively they break all their election promises and we learn they are actually just the Tory looney right under another guise. Of course, I am not an economist, so what do I know. But what inflation means is that you get paid more, but your money is worth less. So Dad might have been a millionaire, but his million pounds would only by a half of lager and a packet of crisps at the Services club, and even then, it's price would have doubled before he ordered a second pint, as happened in Germany in the 1930's. 

I am not a Reform suppoter and I do not wish them well electorally. But I have to say that I think they are making a massive mistake climbing onto the Truss bandwagon and signing up all her mates who nearly bankrupted the UK. I have to say that Dad's plan to win the Pools to become a millionaire was to me far more credible than the plans Liz Truss made to 'save the economy'. The cost of Dad's pools coupon didn't put a strain on our household finances and we had hours of fun making our selections.

The Sunday Reflection #75 - Another cup of tea please

My beautiful wife Clare is making me a lovely cup of tea as i write this. By the time I have finished the blog, my cup of tea will be finished as well. I love a nice cup of tea on Sunday morning. I have a little ritual I follow most Sundays. I get up (often with a mild hangover), go to the 8.30 mass at The Sacred Heart, then I come home and make breakfast for whoever wants it. Sometimes this will be bagels, cream cheese and Smoked Salmon from Yummies. Today I made omelettes. I have a special recipe that is influenced by Japanese street food. I fry up cabbage, onions, mushrooms and then whisk the eggs up with a bit of salt and pepper. This all gets mixed up. This morning Clare and Matt went first, then I added chorizo for the meat eaters. It was delicious (even if I say so myself). 

Once that has been scoffed, I start this series of blogs. My original brief, for this series was to take a look at life in a more spiritual (not with a religious tone) at life. As it has evolved, I've realised that it is often more interesting simply to look at things that have happened in the week and reflect on them. It has been a terrible week. An old work mate of mine passed away. During lockdown, he descended into a private hell of isolation and drink. His marriage broke down. He eventually lost his job last year and apparently he fell over drunk, banged his head and died. It is fair to say he always liked a drink a bit more than was good for him, but in recent years, it became the alpha and omega in his life.

I like a drink, I probably should drink a bit less, but I abstain 3-4 days a week. I am just as happy with a cup of tea most of the time. It is when I am with friends that I overdo it. Yesterday, I met my friends from North Wales in a pub in Shepherds Bush, had a couple of beers, went to Loftus Road to watch a brilliant game of football, that Wrexham won in the last minute of extra time, with a simply spectacular goal. They were 2-1 down at 90 mins and the Welsh boys were ecstatic. We then took a tube to Euston, had a couple more beers in the Doric Arch. We then had a tasty curry at the Great Nepalese. After that we bade farewell, then made our way home. As it was still relatively early, I picked up a bottle of wine at the Turkish shop in Mill Hill, which I shared with my wife and daughter. 

Yep, I know it's a bit too much. But it was a wonderful day. I didn't feel my best this morning. Not too bad but I have to say, a cup of tea or three is the order of the day. I might have a glass of wine with lunch today, nothing tomorrow, a few beers at Hadley on Tuesday and then probably nothing until Friday. Many cups of tea will be drunk. Although I know that I should drink less when I am out with mates, I also know that life would be less fun if I didn't drink at all.  I don't need a drink to have fun, but when I am with drinkers I thoroughly enjoy it. But the other side is that I enjoy a cup of tea and a chat just as much when its a non drinking situation. Actually that is not entirely true. It is almost impossible to get decent tea in a cafe or restaurant in the UK now. No one knows how to make it and it is ridiculously expensive. If I had the choice between tea or beer, I'd probably choose tea, but not the slop you get charged £3 a cup for in most London cafes these days. I don't know why it is so hard to use proper leaves and make it in a pot. I used to love the old cafe builders tea, that was so strong the spoon would stand up in it. These days, I drink my tea black. It is one of the few simple pleasures at home. in cafe, its just legalised mugging

The Saturday List #373 - Traitors Special! Betrayal in music

 Yesterday was one of the big TV events of the year, the traitors final! Back in 2015, I wrote a song all about traitors called "To the tower". It is based on a poem called "The Tichborne Elegy" that was written by Chidiok Tichborne, an ancient relative of mine who was put to death in the Tower of London. He was hung drawn and quartered. Such was the outrage that this was banned as a punishment. It fascinates me. I wrote the song to perform with The False Dots, but our then singer Allen Ashley didn't like it. As we used to do, we recorded the song at the time in a song writing session. What do you think? Should the Dots revive it and do a special Traitors theme? I actually think it sounds rather good, not quite what we are doing at the mo but...

It got me thinking of other songs of betrayal. I though I'd revisit my songs of Betrayal Spotify Playlist

Here is a little potted description of the songs and why I picked them.

1, Richard Hell and The Voidoids - Betrayal Takes Two.  The greatest ever song of betrayal. Unlike most songs on the subject it is a celebration of the joys of betrayal and illicit love. The song is lyrically brilliant. 

2. Marvin Gaye - I heard it through the grapevine. Everything about this song is brilliant. Marvin at his very best. A song that absolutely sums up the pain of betrayal.

3. Rod Stewart - The first cut is the deepest. Rod at his finest, before he went all bombastic. If Rod had carried on like this, he'd be one of my all time faves. A great song about being with someone who doesn't care about you at all.

4. The Sex Pistols - Liar. A song about the duplicity of Malcolm McClaren, their manager.  Sadly Talcy Malcy isn't the only dodgy music industry manager.

5. Moby Grape - I am not willing. A splendid piece of 60's psychedelic rock, charting the realisation of the fact that you are being cheated on and coming to terms with not being in love anymore.

6. Gladys Knight and The Pips - Who is she and what is she to you. Gladys Knight made a bit of a niche for herself with soulful numbers about betrayal and the rotten way men treat women. This is one of her finest moments.

7. Toots and The Maytells - Monkey Man. A song where Toots lets his feeling be known about his ex'girlfriends new partner. It is a very up beat song about a very bitter feeling.

8. Ace - How Long. This is a song of betrayal by a band mate. Most people think it is about a lover, but it's about a band finding out that one of their members is off to join a more successful outfit. It always amuses me how many people have taken solace after a relationship ends with this song.

9. The O'Jays - The Back Stabbers. I always rather liked this song. It reminds me of a mate of mine, who's modus operandi for getting girlfriends was to nick his best mates girl. He ended up moving abroad as everyone wanted to murder him!

10. The Clash - Deny. A song about KeitH Levine, former guitarist with the band, who allegedly was not entirely honest with other members of the band about his activities. A great song.

Betrayal and cheating is terrible but just think how dull life would be and how many great songs would not exist if people were nice. 

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Rock and Roll Stories #57 - The Ramones in reflection

 Last night, I went to see Marky Ramone's Blitzgrieg at The Dome in Tufnell Park. Marky Ramone AKA Mark Bell joined the Ramones for their fourth album Road to Ruin when original drummer Tommy Ramone left. Marky was an accomplished drummer, having played with Richard Hell and The Voidoids previously. Until he arrived Ramones records did not have drum rolls and fills. Until Tommy left the band kept up the pretence that they were all brothers. When it was announced that Mark Bell was becoming Marky Ramone, it caused a degree of consternation amongst die hards. Many think that Road to Ruin was the last great Ramones album. I wanna be sedated is one of their absolute classic tracks. It was a bit calmer and poppier than the earlier albums, as the band attempted to become a more mainstream band. 

Marky was the longest serving drummer in the band, doing two stints. The band finished in 1996. I probably saw them 30-40 times, they were always brilliant. The three mainstay members, Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee has all died by 2004. Tommy passed away in 2014. The Ramones were the reason I got into music. I documented the moment in a 2012 blog. This was picked up by the Roundhouse and they put a quote from the blog on the wall, at the top of the stairs. For me, that is a bigger honour than an OBE or a Knighthood. 

I am not a massive fan of tribute bands. I don't want my memories of the Ramones sullied by poor impersonators. But Marky is a Ramone. I felt I had to go. I really didn't know what to expect. What did we get? Well as you may expect, Marky does the job absolutely properly. At times it could have been The Ramones, if like me you are a bit short sighted and you forgot your glasses. It was wonderful. I reminded me of why I went on my journey as a musician. He does the music justice and if you weren't there in 1977,  and haven't seen them 30 or 40 times, as I was, then you might get some idea of what it was all about. For that I will have an eternal debt of gratitude to Marky. I cannot think of another band who would play 20-30 songs (I wasn't counting) and I knew them all apart from one.

The band weren't pretending to be Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee, although musically there was not a Rizla thickness difference between the noise coming out. If, like me, you loved the Ramones and thought you'd never get another fix of them, then check them out. I had no idea what to expect, if I am honest I didn't expect too much, but felt it important to support Marky as The Ramones never made any real money. It was wonderful. If anyone ever asks me why I don't like Queen as a band, I always say "Because I saw The Ramones". Fair play to Marky, he reminded me why I've been saying that since the 6th June 1977. They are Rock and Roll stripped down to its absolute bare essentials. There is nothing flash, no showing off. No vocal contortions or guitar solos. Just a wonderous noise that no one else in the history of the Universe has ever quite figured out why it is so good, but it just is. If you don't get The Ramones, you don't get Rock and Roll. That is fine, it is a free country, but don't bother chatting to me about music as I will be talking an alien language. Without the Ramones, I would simply not exist in my current form. I would be a different, lesser human being. The Ramones made everything make sense in 1977. I was surprised to learn that in many ways, they still do. And as for Marky Ramone's Blitzgrieg, it isn't the Ramones, but seeing them was to me like kissing the toe of the statue of St Peter is for Roman Catholics at The Vatican. It isn't St Peter, but its the nearest thing we have, so lets celebrate them and cherish them.

Here is a few clips. 

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Why can't people simply admit they it when they are wrong?

 Imagine a perfect world. If you could change one aspect of human nature what would it be? I can remember asking an old, wise Roman Catholic Priest this question when I was about 14 years old. His answer shocked me. I thought he'd say "make people less greedy". But what he actually said was "I'd make people want to apologise when they had made mistakes". He explained that in his career the worst things happened when people made mistakes and couldn't bring themselves to apologise. Often what they did was concoct a whole tissue of lies to justify something they knew was wrong. This always troubled me. I couldn't understand how a man who knew so much had come to such a conclusion. I thought that there were many aspects of human behaviour that were far more worthy of addressing. But I have come to realise his wisdom. To some extent, we are all greedy. It only becomes a problem when our greed negatively impacts another person. I want my studio to be better, turn over more money, and make me a bit richer. I'd love a nice holiday with the proceeds. But that aspiration doesn't hurt anyone. If I went and burned down my competitors, that would and I'd have committed a heinous crime. As I am not a psychopathic narcissist, it is not how I operate. But people do do such things and they do hope they get away with it. When they are caught, as stupid people usually are, they come up with lame excuses. Sadly friends and family are often taken in.

In recent weeks, I have seen some terrible behaviour from someone I know and who I, until recently, had a lot of respect for. They have got themselves in a very difficult position, all because they didn't simply apologise when their bad behaviour was initially called out. I can't really say any more, but life would be so much more simple and so much less frustrating if people could simply put their hands up and say "Sorry I got that call wrong". In most situations in life, no one is 100% right or wrong. Recognising that in difficult situations, we have handled things badly and so we hold out an olive branch and say " I will accept I got this wrong, lets try and resolve this amicably" is a strength not a weakness. 

Many years ago, I worked in IT and I was working on an ATM system for a major bank. There was a problem that was causing the system to crash every week during the peak ATM usage time. We were having fraught meetings. I knew what the issue was, but the manager of the department responsible would not agree. He made a huge issue claiming it was our departments responsibility. I made the statement "well, I am prepared to accept that we have issues on our side, but we need to work together to resolve it". He aggressively replied "Well I do not accept that we have any issues at all, so now you have admitted you own the problem, I expect you to resolve it". I was shocked, my attempt to hold out an olive branch had been totally rebuffed. The issue was costing the organisation millions of pounds and also reputational damage and I realised I'd put myself in the the crosshairs. It was an unpleasant situation. I went back, checked everything and returned to the meeting. I produced the details of the way our end of the connection was set up. Their tech boys, who were good guys took this, then checked their end. They immediately realised that they had made a mistake on the setup, that only impacted at times of peak volume. When it became clear that much time had been lost by the manager denying all responsibility for the problems, he looked extremely stupid.

Given the high profile nature of the situation the overall boss was also present. He suggested that the guy apologise for his stance. He stunned everyone by saying "I have nothing to apologise for, it was his comments claiming they had problems that mislead us all". Within a couple of months, he was managed out of the role. It was a lesson for me, I realised that my stance had gone down well and I was seen to be a team player. Sadly I have seen the same scenario play out many times since. It never ends well. 

As I was walking past St Rollox.....

 Back in the dim, dark days of the 1970's, comedy was a very different beast to what it was today. Things which would guarantee a laugh back then, would see you being cancelled or sent to prison today.Casual racism was an almost guaranteed source of a laugh, for comedians such as Bernard Manning and Jim Davidson. Other rib tickling subjects included sexism, homophobia. flatulence and diced carrots. All of this was considered prime time TV material. There were people who made a handsome living simply standing up and spouting jokes on such subjects. When you went to see such comedians and they were not on telly, every second word started with an F or a C.  Within five minutes of the start of any show, you'd probably have had just about every form of abuse that people get cancelled for today.

Until I was about 14 years old, I'd sit with my parents and watch various shows on TV with my parents. My mum was 'not a fan of filth'. She hated mother in law jokes (not least as she was a mother in law). She would describe the racist and sexist jokes as 'cheap laughs' and point out that 'good comedians such as Morecombe and Wise don't need such material. It is fair to say my Dad, who had served in the armed forces, had a different view. His view was that comedy was less about the material and more about the timing and presentation. He said a good comedian could read the phone book and get a laugh. He also said that comedians such as Manning tell blue jokes because that is where the money is in comedy. His view was that Manning had excellent comic timing and was funny, although he sometimes stifled laughs if my Mum was in earshot.

He explained that when he'd been aboad with the RAF during WW2, every so often touring shows would visit the base to entertain them. If it was a good show, there would be a decent band and some pretty girls dancing and/or singing. The comedians 'warmed' the audience up. These were men who'd been away from their loved ones for a long time and many of whom wouldn't make it home. He told me that the best comedians were the ones who's jokes took you out of your dire situation and back to the comfort of home for a few seconds. Jokes about the pub, the dance, mundane normal life, were the ones that were best received if they were funny. I suspect that is where the tradition of mother in law jokes originated (I am not a comedy historian). Men in the forces wanted to be with pretty girls and they saw the girls mums, who knew what the blokes wanted as the enemy. As for the racism in humour, I suspect that the roots of this were also in WW2. My Dad was in North Africa with the RAF and it is fair to say that he didn't have a high opinion of the locals. This was as much to do with the fact that their camps were constant targets for petty thefts, the locals were always trying to scam them and didn't really want Europeans fighting proxy wars in their country, be they British, German or Italian. The British always felt that the locals should be grateful that we were fighting to kick fascists out, but the locals didn't see it like that. Millions of men served abroad and I am pretty sure this was a fertile breeding ground for casual racism and comedians probably soon learned that they could get a laugh at the locals expense. The best comedy is always relevant to peoples lives and situations. Prior to WW2 most British men wouldn't really have come into contact with any sort of Foreigners, outside large port cities.

The pinnacle of this racist/sexist band of humour was around 1977. I can recall Bernard Manning on Parkinson with Esther Rantzen. If you want to see what passed as hilarious prime time telly, then watch that. It is not for the faint hearted. If you watched that show at the time, as I did, you would probably assume that Manning was unassailable as a comedy great. Esther Rantzen had tried to call him out and Manning had made her look ridiculous in the eyes of a 1977 TV audience. What I am sure neither Rantzen or Manning realised was that the whole thing was about to crash and burn. It wasn't 'clean up campaigners such as Esther Rantzen or Mary Whitehouse who changed people's views. It was snotty nose oik's like me and my fellow 1976/7 punks. Eric Clapton made racist remarks at a concert in Birmingham in August 1976. In response,  A bunch of underground musicians took exception to this and within a year, Rock Against Racism was holding rallys and festivals up and down the country.

Rock Against Racism becoming the militant political arm of the punk movement. Punk and Reggae musicians had always got on, and linking up the two genres at festivals was a no brainer.By 1978, the Two Tone Ska movement had started and Two Tone records started releasing records in 1979. Young people bought into the idea that there was no place for racism in society and if you reject racism from Eric Clapton, who is a damn fine musician, and even had a hit with a Bob Marley song, then you have to reject it from the likes of Bernard Manning too. Broadcasters saw the way the wind was blowing and what had made up prime time TV schedules for years was dropped like a lead balloon. The likes of Manning retreated to his club in Manchester, earning a good living but not on our screens anymore. A new brand of comedian sprung up, the 'Alternative Comedian'. My Dad said that they were like comedy without the humour. This new generation were seen as edgy, with shows like Not the none o'clock news and the Young Ones. Out went the sexism and racism and in came a re-imagined technicolour Keystone cops type of humour on acid and speed. My Mum who had hated the sexism and racism of Manning hated such things even more, as she felt it was just posh people shouting at each other. To my amazement, she even once said "well at least Bernard Manning could tell a joke".

In truth, comedy wasn't my thing. I was a musician. I like a good laugh and a good joke, but it wasn't something that I was into. In about 1992, I went to a comedy open mic night with a couple of work mates. There were about 40 people there. My mates nagged me to get up and tell a joke or two. They both did and their efforts were painful. They were barracked and given the bird, but inexplicably seemed to enjoy it. I was horrified. I am not a party pooper though. As I got up, the abuse started. Now unlike my mates I am used to being on a stage and I have a whole reportoir of one liner put downs (most of which I've nicked). One red faced clown in the front row, with his rather plump girlfriend shouted "Why are you so fat mate?". I took the mic and replied "because every time I shag your girfriend, she gives me a biscuit". He looked horrified. His mate, who was sat next to him, joined in "Who would shag an ugly bastard like you mate". I shot back "Your mum, that is why you are a double ugly bastard". The third bloke in the group, who wasn't with a girl, then tried his luck "I bet you're a Virgin mate". I replied "Say's the fat bloke in the front row with no girlfriend". By now the whole place was in uproar. I went back to the first bloke's girlfriend and said "I hope the care home is paying you decent money to take these three cretins out". I then noticed she had an empty glass, whilst they all had full ones. I added "blimey, they are too tight fisted to even buy a lovely girl like you a drink,look at them with their full pints. You deserve a medal for putting up with them all night and staying sober". I then saw the compare looking at his watch, indicating that I should tell my joke and bugger off. I had the sudden horrible realisation that I didn't actually have a joke to tell. So I said "I can see he wants me to tell my joke and bugger off now, well I don't actually know any jokes, I just thought I'd come up here and be rude to as many of you as I could, good night". To my amazement, I got a raptuous round of applause. I was a bit worried that the three blokes would take it the wrong way, but they bought me a drink and asked when I was doing another slot. As I'd slagged them all off, they were able to tease each other, which seemed the point. I was pleased that they actually bought the girls a drink as well. Maybe my telling off did some good!

I told them to keep an eye on the listings for my next gig. They are still waiting! I realised that whilst I have a great wealth of material to skewer hecklers and I can deliver them with aplomb, I am useless with actual jokes. I think about 60 seconds was about right. 

So what I am trying to say is that I have great admiration for people who can actually stand up, tell jokes and make people laugh. It is strange that I almost never remember a good comedians jokes, when I go to a comedy show, but I always remember the put downs for hecklers. They are worth their weight in gold, if you are in a band. I've always been of the opinion that if you heckle, you deserve a good verbal duffing up. It is funny because I do recall my mum saying after an episode of "Not the Nine O'Clock News" that in five years time it will be forgotten, but people will still find Morecombe and Wise sketches funny, because truly great comedy is timeless. Like many things in life, she was right. At the time I pretended that Not the nine o clock news was hilarious and that Morecombe and Wise were just a bunch of old has beens, who's time had gone. I was bored and watched an old show on line last night.  I couldn't have been more wrong.