If something doesn't make sense, then you don't have all of the facts

 

My Dad used to be an air accident investigation officer for the RAF, at the end of the war. At home, we have an old biscuit tin, with copies of pictures of crashes he investigated.  I was fascinated by some of the stories Dad told me of crashes. Dad was a superb engineer and advised me that he never investigated a crash where there was a single point of failure. It was always the result of a culmination of events. He told me that flying is the safest form of transport, because every single crash is investigated and the results mean that every crash makes flying safer in future.

He said that it was almost always pretty clear what had happened and why. However, he recalled one crash, where a plane's engine blew up in mid air, resulting in a catastrophic failure of the airframe and the death of all of the crew. The crew were experienced, the maintenance records were spot on. The debris was scattered over a large area, but it was pretty clear that something had fundamentally failed in the engine. Examination of the recovered engine did not indicate a fundamental problem. It was not a new engine, but well within its operational lifetime and was a reliable model. The more Dad looked, the less sense it made. After a couple of days at the base, he'd made no progress. He knew he was missing something, but even though he was experienced, he didnt know what. When he retired to the officers mess for a beer at the end of the day, he noticed something odd. Usually people were more than happy to chat to investigators, especially pilots. They knew that a pilots life was dependent on good procedures and investigations. However no one was that keen to talk to him, apart from the base commander, who sat with him and chatted away merrily. Dad noticed that the other pilots were reacting in an odd manner, when they entered the mess and saw him with the CO. It was not the usual reaction. Dad was a good reader of people and body language. He also noticed that several pilots were having a drink and then leaving the mess. He realised they were not comfortable.

Dad was becoming rather suspicious, so after a few beers, he made his apologies to the CO and said he had an early start. He then went to the gatehouse and asked where the nearest pub was. He was told it was about 200 yards down the road. Dad took a stroll down and was unsurprised to find the pilots, who had left the mess, all having a beer. When Dad entered, they all did a double take. He explained that as an Aussie, he was not really one for drinking with the top brass and as he'd been an operational pilot, he always felt better in the company of aircrew. He bought a round and started regailing them with stories about his crew and his escape from the POW camp. After a while, he was accepted as one of the boys.

Once he had their trust, one of them said "You know this isn't the first crash here, I hope it doesn't get swept under the carpet again".  As Dad had suspected, there was an element to this he'd not been told. He didn't tell me what that was, but the crews told him of their suspicions,  what to look for and where to look. It became clear that there were serious issues with the way that the engine had been maintained. The CO had been complicit. I am not sure what happened to all involved, but Dad said it was not good.

Dad told me the story when I was quite young. When I was working for BT, I was having issues with my then boss. As he often did, he revisied the story. He explained another aspect to it. He said that the CO of the base sounded like my then boss. The base commander was someone who had favourites and protected them, whereas he was happy to shaft good people, who he didn't like. It turned out that when there had been a previous crash, he scapegoated someone he didn't like. The reason the crews were cautious of this, was because they knew. They were coming to the end of their time in the RAF and they knew he'd cause problems if they said to much.Dad then gave some very sound advice.  He said "If there is someone in the department who is not much good, but seems to be doing better than they should, be careful, as these sort or people thrive by having snakes in the grass". Dad also said "Whereever you work, make friends with the tea lady and the cleaners, they are the only people who really know what is going on, and those with arrogance and power ignore them". 

That conversation was 40 years ago. It has stood me in good stead. The number of times in my life I have been mystified by situatations, only to find the missing piece of the jigsaw, often from the cleaner or the tea lady. With all of the information, usually it all becomes blindingly obvious. Dad also explained that when shenanigans are going on, it is always for one of three reasons. Money, sex and power. People behave very badly if they get a sniff of any of these. If something doesn't seem right, ask yourself "Is money, sex or power involved?". Sometimes it might even be two or three of them. Once you figure that out, work out who is benifitting and how. It is quite sad really, how often so many horrible situations are created over such unimportant things, but that is life. This weekend, Poppies went on sale at The Mill Hill Services Club. I always think of Dad when I see them. He died nearly 40 years ago, I still miss him. I count mylucky stars to have had such wise council in my life.

Destruction of Green Belt in Barnet - The leader of Barnet Council responds

 There has been a huge amount of discussion about rumours that the Green Belt in the London Borough of Barnet will be bulldozed and developed. I emailed the leader of Barnet Council, Councillor Barry Rawlings to respond. 

This is what I asked

Dear all

 

Please see the attached document. Is this correct and if so, why have residents not been asked to comment.

 

The plans for Barnet are appalling

 

Regards

Roger Tichborne

This is the document that I asked Barry to comment on

Dear Roger

 

Thank you for reaching out to share your concerns around the Draft London Plan published by the Mayor in July and its implications for future developments in Barnet.

I wanted to respond and take the opportunity to share some information regarding the Draft London Plan which I hope helps to reassure you and clarify some of the points raised around new developments in Barnet.

I understand there has been a list of sites circulating on various WhatsApp groups. I cannot find that site list on any meeting agenda nor in any published document. It looks like it was taken from the London Green Belt Assessment.

The assessment was produced by consultancy LUC for the Greater Londoner Authority (GLA) and 12 participating London boroughs, including Barnet. The study was commissioned by the GLA to assess green belt land within Greater London and to consider how existing green belt land contributes to the five national green belt purposes set out in the updated National Planning Policy Framework.

The Assessment specifies that it is designed to “support London boroughs in their local plan making and development management processes…London boroughs may decide to build on the assessment findings with finer grained assessments where considered necessary”.

It also highlights that while it “identifies broad locations in the Green Belt where designation to Metropolitan Open Land is likely to be a reasonable prospect…the identified extent of each of the Green Belt areas identified could in many locations be refined into different shapes and sizes depending on the scale of future ambition and nature of future proposals that may come forward.”

This means that, while a site may be highlighted in the Assessment, it does not mean it will be declared to be Grey Belt.
The Draft London Plan does not contain a specific list of sites that will be developed. It places the duty of site identification on the boroughs, rather than City Hall.

On Monday, Barnet Cabinet approved the response to the Draft London Plan made by a cross-party group of councillors.
While the Draft London Plan consultation deadline has gone, I will continue to scrutinise the viability of the housing targets set out by the Mayor, alongside other key issues affecting our constituency throughout the Examination in Public taking place next year.

Best wishes,

 

 

Cllr Barry Rawlings

Friern Barnet Ward
Leader of Barnet Council, and the Labour Group

Now I know that many people do not trust politicians and that a lot of people are very worried about this matter. I have known Barry for many years. It is fair to say I have been a very stern critic of his on many occasions. However, I have to say that whilst I think Barry gets many things wrong, he is basically an honest decent person and I believe his response is a true and accurate summary of what the situation actually is. I would advise everyone to treat such documents circulating on social media with a degree of scepticism. I would also advise people to ensure that they do not assume that there will be no building on Green Belt. If we want to protect it, we will need to be very vigilant. I am also aware of how planning consultancies and developers work. One of their tricks is to start rumours of impending doom, then when something that is less bad emerges, people think they have won. What Barry says about the London plan is correct. Much of what is in these plans never happens, but the other side of the equation is that it does make things more likely to happen. I personally think the Green Belt is worth fighting for. My view is that there are plenty of better solutions than concreting over green space. The sad truth is that builders prefer building on such land as it is cheaper and more profitable for them. 

The Sunday Reflection #102 - Mementos of a life?

You never really know what is going through other people's minds, do you? You also never really know if those special moments in your life will seem so special in a few years time. As social media becomes more 'mature', we see more and more people posting comments on memories from a few years ago, saying "That didn't age well". What this generally means is that we believed something to be true but events have shown that a completely different reality to the one we perceived at the time has emerged. 

As I mentioned earlier this week, someone who I had believed to be a close friend 'defriended me by email' this week, the email was not even directed to me. I was just cc'd into an email to a third party. I cannot tell you how surprised this turn of events was. I believed the person to be a very steady, reliable, trustworthy sort of person. The sort of person who I felt I understood. I have flaky mates, who I know are very unpredictable. This was very different. Once I got over the initial shock of something that was totally unexpected, I started going through all of our interactions over many years. I was trying to work out what the clues were. When we went to football together, and he bought me a beer, what was going on? If he had said that he had come to the conclusion I was a terrible person and was no longer my friend, that would make some kind of sense, but his email made 100% plain that he has not considered me a friend for a considerable time. During that period, there has been no indication to me in regards to our friendship. I am now faced with the fact that many of my good shared memories with him are something rather different to what I thought they were. To me memories are important mementos of a life. Good moments shared with friends are like cherished coins in a collection.

I feel like a coin collector, who has spent years collecting valuable coins. I have paid handsomely for a fine, rare coin. I've displayed it in my collection with pride. Just imagine how I'd feel if I was informed that this fine rare coin was actually a knock off fraud. I hadn't known, I hadn't spotted it. I'd wonder how many of my coin collector friends had spotted what should have been obvious a mile off. I'd wonder if they were all laughing at me behind my back. I'd call my own naivety and trusting nature into question. I'd look at all the coin collector events I'd displayed my collection at in a different light. The memories would be tainted. Now I am not a coin collector. To me my friends are like the valuable coins. And one is not what I thought. It is different to having a great friend and falling out with them. I founded the False Dots with my best friend from school. We fell out. It was a specific moment in time. It didn't taint the memories we'd shared before. There was no duplicity over a long period. 

I very rarely fall out with people. If someone is a friend, I try very hard to maintain that friendship. I try to be honest. I put my hands up when I am in the wrong. When I have fallen out with people who matter to me, it has usually been over a specific event or episode and it has been clear to me why. It is like walking a path with someone and meeting a fork and off you go in different directions.  But when there is no fork it is a very different thing. I find myself looking for clues in the memories. They are there. The odd bit of strange, out of character behaviour. Things that made no sense at the time, suddenly becoming apparent. 

I have a good friend who's wife was cheating on him for a long time. One day, she cleaned out the bank account and left him with two kids under 8 years old. It took him a long time to get over it. For a couple of years, we'd invariably end up in the pub and he's always say "I just can't believe I never saw it coming, all the signs were there".  The circumstances make it very difficult to take anything positive out of the relationship, apart from his children, who are wonderful. I thought it was very sad, but quite understandable, that he had seemingly erased the good times completely.

The events reminded me of my father. He was betrayed by his solicitor, who was also a personal friend. Unlike what happened to me, it had a huge financial impact. My father ran a business called Mac Metals in Mill Hill. In about 1982, he had the opportunity to by the former railway depot site on Bunns Lane from British Rail. Dad had rented a portion of the site from BR for many years for use as a car park. Dad negotiated a knock down price, as he knew the BR property department well. He instructed his solicitor to proceed with the sale. It kept stalling. Eventually Dads solicitor advised him that he should withdraw his offer, as BR were no longer playing ball. Dad, trusting his solicitor implicitly, followed his advice. Within a matter of weeks, the site had sold to a developer. The next time Dad saw his solicitor, Dad expressed his surprise that the developer had bought it and got planning permission. The solicitor replied "That's because he had a good solicitor". Dad was taken aback by this comment. He asked "Who is that solicitor?". The reply was "Me!". Dad exploded in rage and said "You were acting for me, you said BR wouldn't sell it". The solicitor said dismissively "You don't know what you are doing so I thought it was a bad idea if you bought it".  Dad realised he'd been completely stitched up. I discussed it with him a couple of years later. He said "When I calmed down, I realised it was just an expensive lesson. Never trust solicitors, instruct them and sack them if they don't do what you tell them." He added "When the dust settled, it made me realise how lucky I'd been. He wanted to go out with your sister. Just imagine if a snake like that had been part of the family. I was actually quite sad she didn't like him as I thought he was a solid bloke with a good job". In my case, the only damage has been to my memories. Dad was right though, in all such things, there are lessons and not only that, things could have been a million times worse.

It also made me reflect on the things that cast a different light on our perception of things. Perhaps an illustration of this happened on Friday night. The False Dots did a gig at Nambucca. It was an amazing night. We played really well. However there was one small problem. The venue has a brilliant lighting system. As a guitarist, I play with guitar pedals. These add effects such as echo and distortion to your guitar sound. Although it has a good sound system, it is actually quite hard to hear your instrument properly on stage. This is not normally a problem. I know that the guitar pedal is functioning and giving the desired sound because it has a red light on when the effect is operating. The problem? The lighting system was very powerful and one of the most common effects was to bathe the stage in red. When this happened, I simply couldn't see whether the effects were on or off. The light was shining red, but because everything else was red, I couldn't see it. The sign was there shining brightly but you cannot actually see it until the colour changes. 

It made me realise that a simple lighting change can alter your whole perception of the world. The lights were very hypnotic and during one musical section of a song, it appeared that there was a  'light curtain' in front of us. For about a second, the hypnotic effect overcame me, and I thought I was lying in bed and the sun was shining on a curtain. It was very strange and I almost missed my cue to come back in. Thinking you are in bed at home, when you are in the middle of a gig is a very odd feeling indeed. But it made me realise just how fragile our hold on reality and perception can really be. I am sure that anyone who was watching had not the slightest clue what was going on in my head, as we played. 

Which bring me back to my opening statement " You never really know what is going through other people's minds, do you?". If I can think I am at home in bed, when I am onstage in front of a 100 people, it really isn't that surprising that I didn't pick up that someone was not being honest with me.  It is sad that the shared memories are now, to some degree, tainted. However, some perspective is needed. 

Here is the moment from Nambucca when I simply drifted off. You'd not notice. 

The Saturday List #513 - My top ten theatre shows

Last Saturday, Gary Crowley on BBC Radio London asked listeners about the best Theatre shows they'd seen. It got me thinking, what are the best shows I've seen. I am more a gig person than a Theatre lover, but I have seen some banging shows. Here is my Top Ten.

1. Jersey Boys. Absolutely the no 1 show I've seen. No Question at all. Not only are the songs brilliant, but the inter band relationships and politics are so well portrayed. I've seen dozens of films, etc about bands and it is rare that they get anywhere near portraying the complexities of having several creative people working in close proximity for years and sometimes decades. One of the things it showed so well is how the dynamic changes over time. 

2. The man in the womens shoes. I saw this at the Tricycle theatre in Kilburn (now The Kiln). It is the work of Irish actor/playwrite Mikel Murfi. It tells the story of a man in rural Ireland who is unable to speak and works as a cobbler. It is a one man show and Murfi shows us two sides of Pat Farnon, what he is thinking and what everyone else sees. It is a brilliant depiction of rural Ireland, but also an object lesson for all of us into how we judge and misjudge people. This is definitely my No 1 non musical show. I've now seen it three times.

3. Love and death and rock and roll. The story of Wilko Johnson. Few musicians had such a fascinating life as Wilko. A founder of Dr Feelgood, a member of The Blockheads. One of the few people to recover from pancreatic cancer. We saw it at the Southwark Playhouse. Paul Weller was in the audience. Well worth seeing.

4. All or Nothing. The story of The Small Faces. A band I love. For some reason, despite being massive in the 1960's they seem to me to be criminally overlooked and underrated. It was on at the Arts Theatre

5. The Harder they Come. This was originally a film vehicle for Jimmy Cliff. As I love Jimmy Cliff, it was great to see the production at Stratford. It did not disappoint. 

6. Don Juan. We went to see a production of Don Juan, performed by a Georgian Theatre company. I can't recall where or when. It was a bizarre night as there was meant to be alive translation subtitle system, but it broke down. It was a truly bizarre evening. I thought it was wonderful.

7. Once a Catholic. This was the first theatre production I saw without my parents. I think it was in 1979 at The Wyndham Theatre. I believe I went with my mates from Orange Hill. I think I was the only Catholic, so I saw it in a completely different light. They didn't really get how most people felt about nuns who'd been taught by them. It made an impression on me. 

8. The Ferryman. A Jez Butterworth play, about an Ireland during the troubles. Intense and gripping. Perhaps the best really serious play I've seen. I am a fan of Butterworths work.

9. The Rat Pack. The story of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin et all. It was the last show I went to with my dearly departed Father in Law, Mr Leslie Harrison. Les was a wonderful man. He loved Sinatra, et all. I had never really been into that whole thing. However, the play was fascinating. not least the way that the pack stood up against the racism of the USA and how they stood up for Sammy Davis Jnr. A good play, for me, is one that engages you and maybe, you learn something from. This one ticked all the boxes. Perhaps the thing I recall best, was a technical point. The main characters had microphone cables, coiled on the floor so they wouldn't trip over them when singing and performing dance routines. I was fascinated by this (I know, its  a bit sad!).

10. Lazarus. We went to see this at the Kings Cross Theatre soon after Bowie passed away. It is a sort of follow on from the film "The man who fell to Earth". I think we were all still mourning Bowie at the time and it felt like a connection to him. I am not sure if it was any good, but it was quite cathartic for me as a Bowie fan. I think I enjoyed it more than any of the mawkish tribute concerts we saw. 

What are your favourite Theatre productions? Why? 

And finally, a couple of bits of housekeeping before I dive into the list. Thanks to everyone who came down to Nambucca last night for The False Dots show. There was a great support set from The Monoversals. I am also delighted to announce the next False Dots show, and it will be a banger

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Anyway, onwards and upwards.

A few thoughts on the Manchester City vs Premiership case

 On Wednesday night, I was in Manchester, to watch my team, Manchester City FC play PSG. Although City lost, it was one of the best games of football I've seen. PSG were unbeleivable in the first half, City the better team in the second half. At thise stage inthe Champions league, there is no real jeopardy, so botth teams could play expansive attractive football, which they did. 

But no supporters of other teams want to talk about football when it comes to City. Last night, I spoke to two fans of other clubs. They support Man Utd and Arsenal. Both are reasonable guys. Both strongy feel City should be stripped of all titles and relegated. Both challenged me and asked my opinion. I stated that the case has not been resolved and I'll accept whatever the final punishment is. It is irrelevant, as the memories will always be there. I understand that both feel especially aggrieved as they feel their clubs, respectively, have 'suffered'. I have no real sympathy with this position.

There are many reasons why. Now whilst I don't like the setup of the Premiership and have explained my reasons at length, I believe that they are extremely blinkered. Let us first start with an alternative world. A world where Roman Abramovich never took over Chelsea and City were never bought by an oil state.  Would the Premiership be more competetive and exciting, or less? It is highly likely that the Arsenal/Man Utd hegemony would have continued. Would their owners have invested more or less in their clubs? I think we know the answer. Arsenal made a huge profit on transfer dealings with City. Without that influx of cash, would they be in the position they are? 

And the rest of the league? City and Chelsea have amazing youth team systems, unarguably the best in the league. Squads up and down the league are full of gradtuates of the schemes. This has benefitted the whole of the league. Better players, more skill. Then we have the managers that have come in Guardiola, Mourinho. Can anyone argue that both haven't had a massive positive effect on the quality of football in the Premiership? Would English teams have done better in European had the money not come in. I do not believe it would and I believe that the Premiership would be a far less valuable product for TV etc.

Now lets consider what happens if City's owners are banished and the club relegated. You may hate the fact, but a billion has been invested in players by the owners. This has, you may argue, artificially inflated transfer costs and wages, but when that money goes, every club will be faced with a huge asset write down. The balance sheet of every club will take a hit. For a club like Man Utd, who are already massively in debt, it would be ironic if their campaign against City results in liquidity problems. 

A BBC report this week showed just how dire the finances of English football are. Anyone who argues that taking the City billions out will improve that is simply detatched from reality. There is a massive possibility of a mass exodus of the best players to foreign leagues, once the investment dies down. The cost of football is ridiculously inflated. This is justified by the sheer quality of the football we see. Would fans pay the same, if they were payng Premier league prices to watch Championship style football? Of course, many like me, who are also season ticket holders for Non League clubs would, but I doubt it would attract the reach that the current setup has.

Does this mean that I think City should "get away with it" if they are found guilty? Ask yourself this. If you are a fan of say Arsenal or Liverpool. If the people running your clubs, who are Americans who care nothing about football, engage in rule breaking and the club gets trophies stripped and relegations, their only concern is financial. It is you, the fan, who has done nothing wrong, and will support your team no matter what, who will suffer. Do you seriously believe if Man Utd were stripped of every trophy since the Glazers took over, that the Glazers would care, so long as the money rolled in?

The punishment should fit the crime. English football has hugely benefitted from the investment of City's owners. If the owners are not fit and proper owners, then boot them out. The shame and their financial loss in a fire sale would act as a cursory warning to other dodgy owners. Of course, this is based on the premise that City lose their appeal. 

In five years time, if City are in the Northern Premier League, stripped of titles and UK football is in dire financial straits, with all of the stars playing for Barcelona and Real Madrid, where FFP does not matter, you may look back at recent events and say to yourself  "How did we kill the goose that laid the golden egg". Footbal in England is running on fumes, clubs are living on debt. When they all have a massive write down of their playing assets, and there is no one to bale them out with injections of cash, don't say I didn't tell you.

I guarantee that in five years time PSG, Real and Barca will all still have plenty of cash. 

You are in for a treat

Our next show

Music makes life better! Much better! I have had a strange week. I've been attacked by crocodiles, unfriended by email, had a lurgy and perhaps worst of all, our 15 year old, geriatric doggy is not in good shape. By about 8pm yesterday. I was feeling pretty down, if I am honest. However, I had a rehearsal with The False Dots, as we have a show at Nambucca on Friday (on the Holloway Road, Near Archway and it's free to get in to). I really wasn't feeling like it at all. Yesterday was also one of my designated non drinking days. Generally I don't mind, but if it wouldn't have inconvenienced everyone, I'd have just gone to the pub. But I didn't. With regards to my band, I am anything, if not professional. So I printed out the set lists, printed some updated lyrics and waited for the band to arrive. When I rehearse, I have to get my 'rehearsal head' on. When I play with the band, I step into my band persona. 

When the guys turned up, we had a short listen to some of our recent recordings, before we started. I had made some changes to arrangements and I wanted the boy to be clued up. We all had a cup of tea and a brief chat. As it was a gig rehearsal, it was a short run through of the set. We have different patterns of rehearsals, depending on what we are rehearsing for. When it is a gig rehearsal, we only run through all of the songs once and we time it, to ensure that we don't overrun. We are playing for an hour, so we timed the set. 

There is one new song in the set, called "Moderately priced Hedonism", which is both the slowest and the fastest song in the set. We play the songs in order and I also do intro's. These usually change, but it helps with timings etc. The band has been going for 47 years, we've had many incarnations and some brilliant musicians and vocalists in the band. I do however believe that our current incarnation is one of the best, if not the best in terms of the show we do. We have a really strong set of songs and a very good band dynamic. The set lasted 58 minutes, which is more or less bang on the money. 

When we play live or do a full gig rehearsal, it expends a fair bit of energy, but it also gives you a massive ebergy boost. I left the rehearsal feeling 20 years younger and in a brilliant frame of mind. This is what music does. There is a famous song called "last night a DJ saved my life". I am not going to be so dramatic as to say "The False Dots saved my life last night", but the band certainly helped get my mindset back on the right path. Music doesn't get old or ill, it doesn't cheat or lie. It doesn't demand anything in return. I believe that as a musician, I am just channelling something bigger, more powerful, something good. It is a privilege to play with my fellow False Dots and I will always be eternally grateful to everyone who has ever helped keep the band on the go. That includes not only musicians, but roadies, promoters, bar staff, journalists, radio presenters and prorducers who have helped us to do what we do. Most of all though, thanks to all of the people who come to the shows and listen to the tracks. Without them, we'd be nothing. 

And as to Fridays gig, I beleive The False Dots always play our best when we play live. Nambucca has a brilliant sound system and is a great venue. I believe that if you are coming, you will be in for a treat. 

Unfriended by email - What a strange world we live in

 My friends mean the world to me. I rather hope that for all of my flaws, of which there are many, they know I am decent, honest and I have their back if needed. I am pretty careful who I make friends with. I have lots of casual friends, who I might have a drink or a chat with, if I bump into them, but people I seek to spend time with and trust, that is a far smaller group. Sometimes situations arise that cause friction between people. Usually, it has been because there is a problem with a third party. I have a life policy of trying not to drag my friends into disputes, or force them to pick sides. It is unfair and in most such situations, both parties think they are right. It is pretty rare for one side to be totally wrong. So I try and refrain from slagging people off to mutual friends and performing character assassination's. Generally such behaviour may secure some sort of short term advantage, but I believe the truth will always out and often when it does, it ends up with everyone falling out, when people realise they have been taken for mugs. There is a downside to this. I have, perhaps far too often, let things go unchallenged at the time. 

I also don't seek people out to sow division and turn them against people. If I have a genuine problem with someone, I will say what I have to say to their face. I try and do this as politely as I can, but on occasion this is not possible. Life is to short to be eaten up with petty grievances and settling scores. I have a band to run and people I like to spend time with. It is a philosophy which works pretty well. It is not perfect, but holding on to grudges is a negative waste of energy.

So today, I found myself in a very strange situation. I was copied into an email by someone I considered a very good friend indeed. So imagine how I felt to see this contained in the email "he added that 'I am a very close friend of his', referring to me. This is the second time now that Roger has openly made this statement that is both untrue and incorrect.". I was absolutely taken aback by this. I won't go into the details, other than to say, our families have known each other for decades and we have spent a lot of time, very cordially, in each others company. 

I was shocked to see this. Now, I perfectly accept that maybe my friend has always hated my guts and the time we spent in each others company was done by him as penance as a good Catholic lad. I don't know, but I do know that he has never given an inkling to me that we weren't good friends. It is up to him. Once I got over the initial shock of being unfriended in a cc'd email, I saw the wider picture. I'm a grown up. I have strong views and I speak my mind. This means I can upset people. Maybe he just never had the gumption to tell me the truth and because we have lots of mutual friends, he felt obligated to pretend to like me to keep the peace. 

The fact that I had no inkling of this probably reflects worse on me than it does on him. I am hoping he feels a great sense of burden lifted, now he no longer has to pretend to like me. That is one of the wonders of technology. We can unfriend people, ghost them, without ever having to actually say anything to their face. Personally, I am old fashioned, and believe that men should say what they have to say to each others faces and be damned. But why waste your time chatting to someone who you don't like, when you can tell them in a cc'd email and then list 13 other reasons as to why they are a terrible person. 

Given our social circle and other things we have a common interest in, we are bound to see each other face to face at some point. That is perhaps the most awkward part of this sort of thing. This is where life experience is a great help. I have worked for five decades in one job or another. I have spent my life in offices, etc, where someone hasn't had a good word to say about me, belittles my work, talks about me behind my back, sticks the knife in. This email made pretty clear that despite the cordiality, that is exactly what has been going on. So I will do what I always did at work. Be polite and keep my powder dry. But most of all, tell the truth. The problem for such individuals is that they have clearly not been upfront about anything. They have said and done things, without giving due respect to a friend or colleague, to explain whatever it is they were upset about, talk it through and get both sides of the story. 

Life is full of sad people with ill intentions towards you. You can either get dragged down by their malicious little world or take a step back and say "fine, jog on". The one lesson I've learned in life is that when people bear you ill intent and they show their hand, it is a good thing. You know where you stand and you know that the said individual is untrustworthy. That is on them, not you. 

But always remember the wise words of Richard Hell - Betrayal takes two - so I am sure if he is reading this, he is fuming at all the terrible things I've done that he's never had the gumption to pull me on to my face!

Last night I nearly got eaten by a crocodile at the Virgin Active gym in Mill Hill East

 I go to the gym most days. Since I had to stop playing 5-a-side football, it is my concession to healthy living. I don't massively enjoy it, but I've found if I go on an exercise bike for 30 minutes and do an online Soduko puzzle, I don't get bored out of my brains. I used to do a lot of rowing, which I actually quite enjoyed, but my ankle gets inflammed by this, so I've had to stop.  Yesterday I went as normal. I was feeling really under the weather. I didn't enjoy it, my brain was struggling with the Soduko and I felt totally cream crackered. But I am not a quitter. I stuck it and did my 30 mins. 

I shuffled off with all the grace and poise of a 90 year old man. I decided that a sauna and a soak in the Jacuzzi was order of the day. I was rather hoping to see one chap, who is a barrister and a Liverpool fan to discuss the match on Sunday, but he was nowhere to be seen. In fact the sauna was empty, which suited me as I didn't really want a chat. As I always do, I lay down in the hot bit and did 10 minutes. I then made my way to the Jacuzzi, which was also empty. I put the jets on and started to relax. Probably due to not being to well, I drifted off. Before I knew it, I was sparko. It was lovely, I was on the beach in Australia. I was just relaxing without a care in the world, in the sea. It was wonderful, then I spotted a large saltwater crocodile, eyeing me up from the beach on the other side of the river. I decided that perhaps, I should slowly make my way out. As I was thinking about this, bang! Something touched my leg. For a millionth of a second I thought the croc's brother had got me. Happily it was just another gym member getting in the pool, who'd brushed my leg. I am rather glad I didn't scream!

I genuinely don't know whether I was pleased or gutted to find I wasn't on holiday and being chased by crocodiles. As it was, I went home, had dinner and then had an early night! I feel much better today.

A conundrum for you, well more for me actually!

For my sins and perhaps much to my surprise, BBC Radio London seem to like me and I get periodically invited on to shows to do 'guest slots'. Today, I was invited onto the Eddie Nestor show, currently being hosted by Jim Davis, to do the trends at 12 slot. I have done this a few times and generally I enjoy a bit of banter with Eddie. I've spoken to Jim a few times, but this is the first time I've done the Trends slot with him. The slot involves me picking three stories that are of concern to me. A local one, something we should know about and something fun. 

I do not need too much encouraging to get up on my high horse and tell the world my views. I know the format and I had three things that I was determined to discuss. The first was the appointment Laura Johnson as a senior housing officer for Barnet Homes. She was in charge of housing an Kensington and Chelsea Council and was involved in cost cutting measure at Grenfell Tower. Now clearly there were issues at many levels, but given the current state of play with the investigations etc, it seemed to me a very unwise move and on many levels an unfair one. Barnet Residents and Trades Unions were preparing a lobby of Council offices on 20th October. Last night, I was informed that she was "no longer working for Barnet". I felt that residents really should be aware of what has been going on. It is my view that where potential negligence leads to deaths, the Police should investigate from day one. This was my first story and I was delighted that the BBC have now picked the story up. 

My second story? Something we should all know about. I chose the fact that TFL are consulting on a new passenger rail service, using existing freight only lines, between Hendon and Hounslow, known as the West London Orbital railway. This proposal has been knocking around ever since I started the blog, in various forms. Like all important Infrastructure projects in the UK it seems to take decades to bring absolute no brainers to fruition. You can read more about the consultation here. 

The False Dots next gig

The third story, a fun one, was about the relaunch of Nambucca as a fully fledged music venue. I am delighted that my band, The False Dots are part of this. We are playing on Friday. The full listings are here. I am really excited to see that 70's Stiff Records sensation Lene Lovich is playing. When I told Jim, he said he'd seen her recently supporting the B52's and she's great. 

You can listen to the show again here. Now I mentioned a conundrum. Before we started chatting about my stories, we had a chat about music and vinyl. I could chat all day to Jim about records and vinyl. As I mentioned to Jim, I have a huge collection of vinyl and I love it. However, all of the recent False Dots releases have been done purely on line. The main reason for this is it is cheaper and we can connect easily with our fans. However, the purist in my says we should put stuff out on Vinyl. No record companies are interested in bands with 63 year old singers. They (to me rather foolishly) think there is no market and no money in bands like me. Whereas it costs a tenner to release an album digitally, it costs a significant sum to put one out on vinyl and you've no real idea if it will sell. So what do you think, should we bite the bullet and do it? 

The Sunday Reflection #101 - A better man than me

 As often happens, when I go to mass on a Sunday, I drift off into my own little world of memories. It is a constant throughout my life. I get it isn't for some, but an hour's peace, no interruptions in a spiritual setting is, in my opinion, highly beneficial. The Priest who said todays mass is one Fr Stephen Monaghan. He is an Irish Vincentian priest. Many of the local Irish community like him, as he brings Irish brevity to his masses. Our wonderful African priests prefer to say a longer mass. Anyone who knows Irish culture, will know that not all of the Irish community enjoy a long mass. 

Once we get past the readings and the sermon, I do tend to mentally drift. I used to think I'd go to hell for  this, but now I am pretty sure God is OK with it. I tend to find a thought pops into my head, then my brain runs away with it. For some reason, Fr Stephen reminded me of our Sunday ritual in the 1960's. We would always go to the 11am Mass, as Dad liked a lie in. He would round up all of us younger kids at around 10.30am. Myself, Caroline and Valerie. He'd load us all into his motor, I believe it was a Humber Sprite to start with. It had bench seats and walnut panelling. He then got a Ford Zephyr 4 followed by a Ford Zodiac. He'd drive up to the Cottage Homes, now known as The Retail Trust, and pick up a posse of Old Ladies. I can recall Miss Monaghan (this was what started the train of thought, was she a relative of Fr Stephen), Miss Faller and I think a Miss Devereaux. The estate was also known as The Drapers Homes, as many had worked in the clothing industry. They were always immaculately turned out, incredibly polite and pleasant. Often, they'd bring us sweets for after mass. Dad would take them and drop them back.

I never really questioned why Dad had started doing this, or how he knew the ladies. I assume, a Priest had asked him to help. It was the sort of thing Dad would do and he took it very seriously. He'd always tidy the car up beforehand and make a big song and dance of escorting the ladies to and from the car. I'd never really thought it through, but in hindsight, Dad was clearly trying to make them feel special. When Dad was on holiday, he'd get my brothers to do the run. As I recall both had decided Church wasn't for them. Frank would wait outside for the mass to finish, listening to the radio in the car. Laurie would go in and sit with them. Both were quite happy to help, although they'd volunteer the other if they could. 

I can't recall when this stopped or why. I can recall one of the ladies passed away, and also that Dad had a row with the Parish priest and started going to Burnt Oak for a while, but I don't know if he'd stopped before that. After Dad dropped them off, he'd take us to a little convenience store, run by his mate Bill Cardon, on Shakespeare Road. Dad would buy fresh cut ham, garibaldi biscuits and tinned salmon. My mum would berate him, as it was expensive, but Dad didn't care a jot. Bill was a mate from Mill Hill Services club. He was also a Watford FC season ticket holder. He had a green mini van and I thought he was a pretty cool dude. As I recall, he had a heart attack and retired. Some ladies took the shop on. They upset Dad because during a sugar shortage, they wouldn't sell him any. They said he wasn't a regular, even though he'd go in every Sunday and spend a small fortune. That was the end of that tradition.  Sadly, they didn't last too long. The shop is now a house.

One of the big differences between myself and my Dad was that he'd never walk to church. He'd always drive, even though it is only five minutes walk. I queried this and he said "What is the point walking if you have a car?". I actually quite enjoy walking. I was mulling over all of this, and I got to thinking of my Dad's funeral. Although it was held in the Sacred Heart, it was not held in the current church, but the old one that got knocked down in 1996. I was quite pleased when they knocked it down, as going in always reminded me of that day, which was the worst period of my life. I was totally in awe of my Dad and believed him to be indestructible. He'd survived WW2 as a bomber pilot, being shot down, a POW and escaping. He had a seemingly total self belief and would always back himself to win in any situation, no matter how sticky. I always felt almost embarrassed to be his son, as I felt I lacked all of the attributes that made him such an amazing person. 

This week, we saw the burial of the President of Mill Hill Services Club, Jack Leach. Jack joined the club in 1967. HE knew my Dad quite well. He was 97, twelve years younger than my Dad. He'd been conscripted into the Royal Engineers, which was why he ended up in Mill Hill/Edgware. Jack's funeral was packed. It is sad that there are so few of the old members now, who remember my Dad. I believe Jack was our oldest member who still regularly attended. It is odd to think that Dad would have though of him as a youngster. When they first met, Dad would have been 50 and Jack 38, both men in their prime. 

If I had a time machine for a day, there is nothing I'd like more than to go back to those times and have a drink with Dad as a mate and a peer. We never really did that. I have often thought about that, but today at mass, a darker thought entered my head. What if I could collect Dad and take him for a day out in Mill Hill in 2026? What would he make of it? What would he make of learning his errant Punk rock son had become the chair of the Mill Hill Services Club? What would he think of the new Sacred Heart Church? What would he make of Mill Hill Broadway, with no butcher, no greengrocer, no telly shop? What would he think if he saw Bunns Lane Works, where he ran MacMetals for nearly 40 years? What would he make of the fact that there is not a dedicated off licence and that La Katarina, where he enjoyed succulent steaks has gone? Dad was someone who had travelled the world and loved progress, so I suspect he'd be OK with all of that. What he may be less OK with would be if we saw the news and he learned of what the President of the USA was doing. I thought of Dad and his respectful treatment of those old ladies that he drove to mass. Dad believed that men should always be gentlemen around ladies. I think that things like the Epstein files, Trumps totally uncouth behaviour and worst of all the revelations of clerical sexual abuse would have been too much for a man who was both very Conservative and very Roman Catholic. I have no doubt in my mind that Dad was a better man than me. I am glad he didn't live to see all that. It would have broken his heart.