The Saturday List #501 - School Brainwashing Special - The ten things that I was taught at school that were blatant lies

 I have no idea whether this list is absolutely hilarious, utterly depressing, sick, disturbing or all of these things. I have agonised over whether to share this more or less since I started doing this blog. I have mentioned most of this, often obliquely at some point. I went to three schools during my childhood. St Vincents Roman Catholic Primary School, Finchley Catholic High School and Orange Hill Senior High School. Sadly, not every thing I was told by teachers has, shall we say, stood the test of time. I thought I'd list the biggest whoppers that I was told.

1. The British Empire was a benevolent organisation that did no harm, except in Ireland. This whopper was told to us by Mr Nick Kelly, AKA Ned, Headmaster of FCHS. Whilst he was trying to emphasise why Irish independence was a wonderful thing (something I doubt too many people at the school would have disputed), it was totally dishonest in relation to the behaviour of the British in various places. About 20 years I bought the Rise and Fall of The British Empire by Lawrence James, to read on the plane when we went on holiday. I realised that Kelly's analysis was very wide of the mark.

2. Homosexuality is a form of depravity caused by mental illness. Again this was Ned at his finest. He informed us that if ever we had lustful feelings towards other men, it was a sign that something was wrong with our brains. He suggested that we should resist such feelings. I have to confess that I've never really had "lustful feelings towards other men" but I now have plenty of friends who have, and I think any mental illness they may have experienced had more to do with denying their orientation. I discussed this once with an Anglican Vicar, who informed me that God makes some people Gay and if you believe in God you don't believe he makes mistakes. Although I've never been attracted to males, I had a deep fear as a teenager that I may develop a mental illness, start fancying men and end up in Hell. It sounds ridiculous, but it is true. At 13 I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and was put on Valium. The paediatrician informed me that it was a form of mental illness and I was absolutely terrified as to what it may do to my soul.

3. Only Roman Catholics can go to heaven. This was told to us by Danny Coughlan, Head of The Lower School at FCHS. Danny would teach RE to us. His view of RE was, shall we say, rather odd. His teaching method was even stranger. He would simply dictate something, we would write it down word for word and they he'd mark it, to see how accurately we'd transcribed his rantings. Now you may say "Well who knows who is let into heaven, you cannot prove that people of other faiths are allowed in". That is a good point, however he was supposed to be teaching Roman Catholic dogma and The Vatican II council under Pope John stated categorically that it wasn't Catholic teaching to say all other faiths are excluded and that the mercy of God is unbounded. 

4.  People from Africa are ignorant and uneducated. I vividly recall one of the Nuns telling us at St Vincents that Africans are uneducated and ignorant, which is why we need to raise money so that missionaries can be sent to Africa to set up schools. No mention was made of things such as the Egyptian civilisation, the Aksum Civilisation (Ethiopia and Eritrea) and The Kush (who built more pyramids than the Egyptians). Mathematics etc originated in Africa. Sadly, it is true that imperial powers did little to educate people under their rule. This was a deliberate policy, as an educated population is not one that takes kindly to imperialism. But we were not taught that.

5. The Beatles and The Rolling Stones are not music. This was another of Danny Coughlans rants. He stated that the form and structure of modern pop music could not possibly be considered musical. He said that it was a form of hypnotic brainwashing, to make us have loose morals and be more inclined to worship the Devil. He cited The Rolling Stones song Sympathy for the Devil as evidence. I suspect that was the moment I realised he was a fool.

6. You will not be happy if you marry a Jewish woman. This was another of Ned's specials. He explained that if we wanted to be happy, we should find a nice girl from a good Catholic home. He stated that if we married someone from any other religion, we'd be unhappy and it would all end in tears, but he gave special attention to Jewish females, listing all of the their supposed faults. I guess that as I've not had a Jewish wife, I can't specifically say he was wrong, but my mate Richard is a good Irish Catholic lad with a lovely Jewish wife and he seems pretty happy. Ned was pretty anti semitic generally. I am delighted that such stupidity is no longer acceptable.  

7. All of the stories in the Bible are 100% true. Now I am a Roman Catholic, so I guess that I should accept this, however there is evidence to show otherwise. My personal view is that much of the early books of the bible are simply man's attempts to make sense of the world. To me, it is interesting that it predicts the big bang, millennia before it was scientific orthodoxy. "Let there be light" Bang. However, I don't buy that the world was fully formed seven days later, and I don't really think it matters. I don't believe that people (like me) who eat prawns should be put to death and I don't think that too many people believe that the first human alive was 6,000 years ago. I have always taken Adam to be the first human to become aware of the presence of God, but unlike my teachers, I accept that is a view, not a fact.

8. No good Catholic would ever use contraception. This was another of Ned's blatherings. Of course, he was simply reflecting the teachings of the Catholic church, but it is clearly wrong. If you go to any Catholic Church post the advent of the Pill, no families have 10 kids any more. What enraged me was the fact that Ned was judging people. I nearly got expelled for arguing with him about it in an RE lesson. 

9. If schools could not use the cane, there would be total mayhem and society would break down. My children all went to school in the post corporal punishment era and clearly there was order. There is also less violence in society.

10. Your teachers are your elders and betters. Danny Coughlan was keen to tell us this. I will accept that they were older than us, but the mere fact that they told us a bunch of porkies has meant that I cannot accept that they were our betters. As I went through FCHS, I became increasingly more irritated with all of this nonsense and would regularly argue with Ned, which lead to my eventual departure. When I went to Orange Hill Senior High School I was astounded to find that we were not subjected to all of this old cobblers. If I tried to argue with a teacher, they would retort with a reasoned argument. No one ever said "I am right because I am right", something that was said to me regularly. I was even asked to do a lunchtime talk on the evolution of Punk Rock from Jazz music. That was the point when the true scale of the brainwashing became apparent. It was also evident that it had failed. I've often wondered if anyone actually was fooled.

Anyway, it made me what I am today. I suppose it is why I write a blog. I hate misinformation. Here's a tune that seems appropriate. I wrote this song at the time of The Falklands War. It is about awakening to the fact that you've been lied to by those who are supposed to be taking care of your interests. 

Friday Fun, The Friday local music round up and the Barnet Eye news round up - 19 June 2026

 Are you enjoying the hot weather? I certainly am, or I would be if I didn't have to work!

Matt is one of my favourite cartoonists and he is dead on the button today. As is the tradition in Barnet blogs (should that be singular as the rest seemed to have stopped blogging about Barnet), I thought this would be a superb Friday funny. It ticks a few boxes!

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Buy a print of my cartoons at https://t.co/ILFJjPmckx

Original artwork from https://t.co/bVPAkgE34y pic.twitter.com/b4MsbSQzCT

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) June 18, 2026

And on to the local music round up. First the news you've all been waiting for! The False Dots next gig will be a free gig at The Jester Festival at Fortune Green on Saturday 4th July. The band will be premiering their brand new album "We don't live in America" which is released that day, to celebrate independence day. There are some other fine bands on the - CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL SCHEDULE

This week we have an exciting array of gigs on locally. Here is the local gig guide courtesy of Mill Hill Music Complex Studios.

You can follow Mill Hill Music Complex for the weekly gig guide and also follow The Barnet Music Facebook page.

Now normally, I don't do anything about news or politics on a Friday, but hey ho, rules are meant to be broken. There are a few things that have gone on in the last few days that warrant a word or two. Firstly the success of Andy Burnham in the Makerfield By Election. Burnham has been the Mayor of Manchester since 2017, winning three Mayoral Elections. It is no secret that he wants Sir Keir Starmers job. Unlike Starmer, Burnham comes into the job with a degree of experience of holding executive responsibility. Although Boris Johnson demonstrated that this doesn't necessarily mean he'll do a good job, he has had to make tough calls. 

Andy Burnham is one Labour politician I quite like. He has been steadfast in his support for the Hillsborough victims for decades. Unlike Nigel Farage, who dons an England shirt as a fashion accessory, Burnham is a proper football fan. HE understands, unlike Farage, that supporting a football team is not just about wearing a shirt, drinking a beer for the cameras and cheering when they score. Burnham strikes me as a bloke I could have a beer and a chat with in the pub. There are very few Labour politicians I feel that about. More than that though, he has demonstrated that he can build alliances across party lines, working effectively with former Tory Mayor of Birmingham, Andy Street. He seems to understand that Labour has become too discinnected from its core supporters. He has also shown that he is prepared to take risks. RUnning in Makerfield, where Reform have polled well was a big risk. He got more votes than the rest put together. Does this mean I will be re-applying to join Labour? No. I feel that it has become the party of incompetent stuffed shirts. Burnham will have to do a hell of a lot to convince me that Labour is a party I could align with again. 

And then we have Donald Trump and his deal in Iran. The monumental incompetence of Donald Trump has made the world a very dangerous place. Iran has shown that the USA does not have the military power or political will to defeat it. Trump has let Iran seize the world economy by the gonads, closing The Straits of Hormuz and made Trump sign up to a deal that he would have derided as treason had another leader signed it. The money will flow into Iran now. Trump has made it all about Iran's nuclear programme. The Iranians have shown they have a far more effective weapon in cutting off the worlds oil supply. Trump has given everyone a lesson in the limits of US power. He has alienated allies, empowered enemies and enriched his inner circle. For me his one redeeming feature during his first term was that he didn't start any wars. Even this fig leaf has gone. Not only did he start a war, he lost.

Which brings us onto the situation in Israel. Trumps capitulation and his falling out with the Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu is perhaps the most significant aspect of the failure of Trumps middle east policy. I have no idea whether Netanyahu has a strategy to move forward and save his political skin from the debacle but he now faces a situation where he is facing an Iran that will have the financial clout to be very difficult towards Israel. Iran have demonstrated that you can bomb them, kill their leaders, assasinate their local proxies, but the threat remains and it will be more, not less of a threatgoing forward. Israel's biggest worry was Iran getting a nuclear bomb. I've always believed that this was a smokescreen for the Iranians to distract Israel from what their real agenda and threat was. 

Iran has shown itself to be resilient as well as tacitically and politically astute. They have also managed to somehow come out on top against a superpower. This is not unprecendented, but unlike Vietnam, there are implications beyond the immediate region. I was talking to a local member of the Mill Hill Shul earlier, who is as hard line a Zionist as you can find. When Israel and the USA attacked Iran, he was telling me that Trump going to go down as the greatest US president of all. He believed Trump had the balls that Obama, Clinton, Bush, etc lacked. The terrible truth is starting to dawn. Trump is not a genius and when you get into bed with him, you are only their for one reason and that is not particularly pleasant. 

Anyway, finally, it's the weekend, so I didn't want to end on a sour note. Here's a suitable tune by The False Dots for a Sunny weekend in June!

Rock and Roll Stories #69 - Saucy Sally from SW3 and near death experiences

 When you've been in the False Dots for 47 years, you've met a few characters along the way. People discover the band, become fans and then disappear. As we are a grassroots band, it has always been part of our manifesto to love and value our fans. We always try and chat to them before and after gigs and make them feel part of the False Dots family. Our gigs have always been as much about people meeting up with friends and having a good time together as it has been about wtching a band play a few numbers. Over the last few years, when our profile has been higher than ever a few people who saw us in the very early days have turned up at gigs, mostly out of curiosity. I think most have been shocked, both at how much and how little we've changed. Ithink most expect some sort of bunch of geriatrics playing turgid blues rather badly. Not that we ever did that, but many of our contempories have moved into doing covers and being a bit staid. I don't think that can be levelled at us. That the feedback we've had though.

Perhaps even more interesting is when occasionally I meet someone from the very early days, who I'd completely forgotten about. Most are doing good things now. Occasionally, I will learn that a mutual friend from those days has passed away. Once in a while, there is a story that is so strange and bizarre that it leaves me speechless. The story of Saucy Sally from SW3 is one such person. One of the first False Dots gigs, I didn't recall it as it wasn't deemed 'an official gig', was at a mate called Sean's party at his squat Elgin Avenue in Maida Vale. The property is now a multi million pound house. At the time, Elgin Avenue was full of such buildings that were derelict squats. Sean worked at the Tyre shop at Fiveways Corner, with our bassplayer Paul Hircombe's brother. Paul was doing some work there and got friendly with Sean. Sean was havinga  birthday party at his squat in Maida Vale and invited us to play. We were delighted to.

Sean invited the residents of many of the local squats, a fascinating bunch. The Dots did our set. We were nothing like the band we are now, far more punky and still really finding our feet. But we had written our first classic song, Not all She seems. A cautionary tale about exploitation of sex workers. Hank Marvin donated the guitar lick to us, when his son Paul was in the band. After we had played the set, a very attractive young lady, who I thought was about 21 started talking to me. She was clearly ons omething stronger than tea. She had listened intently to the band and asked about Not all she seems. I was quite shocked when she said "I really get that, you have no idea what pigs powerful men are". We had a pleasant chat and I was quite keen on her. She went off to do something and one of the other squatters said "watch her, she's trouble, don't get involved". I was about 17 at the time. When we played at the Moonlight club a year or so later, she turned up. She looked terrible. She was with a rather dodgy bloke, but said she desperately wanted to see us again. We had a chat after we played, she wanted to come back to our after show party, but the bloke wanted something else. I never saw her again.

Well not until 2014. I used to voulunteer at a homeless daycentre. One day, a new volunteer turned up. She seemed nice enough. Rather posh and well spoken. She had been doing some volunteering at Centrepoint. We started chatting and I mentioned I was in a band. She was really interested and asked the name. When I told her, she seemed completely startled. She asked how long we'd been going. When I told her, she asked if we'd ever played at a squat in Maida Vale. I said yes, and mentioned our friend Sean. To my amazement, she then revealed that she had seen us there and remembere me. Not only that, she remembered the song "Not all she seems". She then said about seeing us at the Moonlight Club. I twigged who she was. She told me she'd been going through a bad time. The bloke was in effect a pimp and also a bit of a dealer and a nasty piece of work. Someone we knew owed him some money.

I said "You were looking ill then, what happened?". She had spent several years strung out on drugs, in and out of rehab, paid for by her parents. The last time, she OD'd and nearly died. She then said "I had a near death experience. Jesus came to me and said he'd give me another chance, but I had to stop taking drugs and right all of the wrongs I'd done". She said she immediately gave up drugs. Oddly, she said that she had no real cold turkey, something that she'd had before when she'd tried to clean up. She cut all ties with her old associates and moved away. She then asked if I knew any of the old squatter tribe. I said that when Paul Hircombe died, I lost touch with Sean. What really shocked me was that she was my age. I had assumed she was a good few years older. She said that the drugs had taken a real toll on her, but clean living and yoga had got her back on track. She then asked if we still performed Not all she seems. I told her that it wasn't in the set at that time, but we may bring it back sometime. 

What she told me next broke my heart. She said that she was not going to volunteer at Centre anymore. She said that she had to keep well away from all of her old contacts. I was really sad. I said "I don't see them", but she said "I have to stay away from that world completely". She told me that she no longer dated men, she had a real trust issue and lived with another woman. I was quite upset in truth. I was delighted that she was where she wanted to be, but felt she was associating me with a world that I was only on the very margins of. She said "You really should bring "Not all she seems back", you know sometimes when people are at the gates of hell, music can be a liferaft". True to her word, she never came back as a helper. 

When Allen Ashley left the band in 2020, we brought Not all she seems back and recorded it on our last album. Recently, I was thinking about it. What happened to the person in the song? I have always assumed tragedy (in real life that was the case), but what if things had turned out different and they'd got their shit together?  I used the conversation as the model. There is some artistic license in there but as happens in many False Dots songs, various people and various stories get aggregated. So I wrote Saucy Sally From SW3. The band rehearsed it last week for the first time and I did an unplugged version on the recent Tales of The Dublin Castle podcast. So in case you are wondering. she not called Sally, she's not Saucy anymore and she ain't from SW3, but the rest of it is all pretty accurate. I have no idea whether she'll ever read this or hear the song. If she ever gets in touch, I'll give her a credit. I hope she'd like it.  You've got to respect people though and if she lives in a different world now and is happy, that is good enugh for me.

You can hear it if you listen to this!

Tales of The Dublin Castle - Rog on the Radio talking football, music and mayhem!

 One of the best online radio shows at the moment is Tony Gleed's Tales of The Dublin Castle.  I had the priviledge of spending two hours with Tony talking football and general mayhem earlier in the week. I also preview a couple of brans new tracks! We played a lot of very different music, from many of the nations in the world cup. 

Have a listen and let my know what you think

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Sir Keir Starmer - Have you been brainwashed by social media

 Sir Keir Starmer? I'm not a fan, I never have been.In December 2020, long before anyone actually thought he might actually become Prime Minister I wrote "He may be more electable than Jeremy Corbyn, but he is as inspiring as a bowl of slightly rancid haddock. I've no idea what he believes in. Like all Non Tories, I've enjoyed watching him monstering Boris at the Despatch box, but I want to see a politician that has passion and believes in helping those at the bottom of the ladder. Starmer has not convinced me that this is his mission."

I thought I'd just put that out there before saying what I've got to say. Starmer isn't great. I doubt he'll be lead Labour into the next election (deservedly so).  I think he has no political judgement, is weak and is indugent of dodgy friends. He is part of a strand of the Labour party that completely alienated me. However, when I look at social media, I am completely knocked sideways by some of the bile and hatred towards him. I get that people dislike politicians, especially those that are high profile and not "on your side", but the anti Starmer rhetoric is quite bizarre. It is fair to say that Boris Johnson endured a similar amount of bile in the last six months of his time as PM. Given Boris's nature, it was unsurprising as he is a big personality, who provokes strong reactions. I myself stepped into the cesspit of slagging Boris off, with a little ditty about him. It is odd listening back to it, I clearly felt a lot more strongly about him then. 

But with Starmer, I have noticed something different. With Boris Johnson, it was very much an organic movement, as his misdemeanours and shortcomings became more pronounced. With Starmer, I see all manner of strange and wonderful stuff on social media. With Boris, it was largely my contacts etc.With anti Starmer rhetoric, I am seeing posts from all manner of people I've never heard of. Anothe feature is that friends, who Facebook never normally puts on my timeline (rather annoyingly) have suddenly started popping up left, right and centre. When I click through to their feeds, they might have one post slagging Starmer off and 20 about other things, most of which I find more interesting (I don't need convincing about Starmer). To me, it is clear that I am being force fed a diet of anti Starmer rhetoric, in a way I've never noticed previously for anyone else.

To be honest, this has puzzled me, as I don't engage with it. Not because I like Starmer, the opposite. I am sick of him and don't want reminding of him. If you like and engage posts, you get more of them. So why? Well I think we got a clue yesterday. Starmer launched his crackdown on kids using Social Media. Could it be that the tech companies have been deliberately tweaking their algorythms to feed us a diet of anti Starmer rhetoric, because he threatens their profits? With the advent of AI, it has become far easier for the platforms to control what we see and what we don't see. The PR response from the tech companies to Starmer's proposed ban is clear and unequivocable. They don't like government restrictions.  I do however wonder if there has been a black ops mission against Starmer being run for some time by these companies? 

Social media companies make billions from advertising all manner of dodgy products and pushing them down our throats. Are they also pushing political viewpoints in a rather underhand manner? Next time you go onto Facebook or X.COM, have a look at what they are pushing towards you and then look at some of the feeds. See what else they are posting and see what the platform decided you should see. Whether or not you hate or love Starmer or anyone else, I think we all should be worried that tech billionaires have the power to manipulate their platform to shape social media opinions. 

The Sunday Reflection #88 - Them and us

This morning there are two main stories on BBC Radio London news that are very different, but are both worthy of some thought and reflection. The first is that it is the ninth anniversary of the Grenfell Tower fire. A terrible disaster caused by catastrophic criminal negligence. Yet no one has ever been prosecuted for this. It is almost impossible to take anything positive from the tragedy. It is a stain on our city, our country, our legal institutions and politicians. We've had Theresa May, Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunak and Sir Keir Starmer in No 10 Downing Street. Sadiq Khan has been the Mayor of London. All should be deeply ashamed of themselves. I have no doubt that if 72 politicians died as a result of such negligence, all of those responsible would have gone to prison. I can recall waking up to hear the news and seeing the smoke rise when I looked out of my bedroom window. As I took Thameslink into town and got relatively closer, it was clear what a big fire it was. I could glibly state that there were aspects of the community response that showed the best of us, but I genuinely think that we should be outraged at the whole thing and not search for mitigations and things to make us feel more comfortable with our communal failure.

The other big story is the World Cup. Scotland's first World Cup victory for 36 years. I have a confession to make. I've not seen more than 20 minutes football. I am a football nut and I love the World Cup, but for some reason I have not fallen in love with the tournament yet. The football authorities, as far as  I am concerned, are corrupt and damaging to the sport. Football has always been the sport of the ordinary working people. All you need is a ball and a few mates and you can have a kick about. A few jumpers for posts. It has been a massive part of my life. I am a season ticket holder and a shareholder in Hadley FC, a local non league team. You could buy a season ticket for 20 years for the cost of an average seat at some of the games. I love the fact that it is open to all nations and races. BUt the exclusion of a referee on what looks very like racial grounds is sickening. If it wasn't for the fact that I genuinely get excited by watching football and love supporting England, I would probably not bother with it at all this time. I feel that by watching, I am somehow endorsing Donald Trump. Completely irrational, I know. But that is how I feel. I feel that FIFA have debased football. 

Both issues, in their own way demonstrate the total contempt that those in power have for the rest of us. Like the mirror that shows us the spots and blemishes on our faces, Grenfell and the World Cup give us a stark reflection of how those in power hold us in contempt. Them and us has never been more starkly demonstrated. It is all rather depressing. I wish I could pick the bones of something good out of it all, but I simply cannot. 

Ten Million Official Google Blog Views and The Saturday List #500

This week marks two real landmarks for the blog. The first is that it passed ten million official blogger views. That number is beyond comprehension to me. It never occurred to me when I first started writing it, that anyone would be interested. But this week we passed ten million views, so we must be doing something right. In the past, when I celebrated such events, certain nairsayers made comments about "Google stats being inaccurate". That may well be the case, but it is the only real measure I have and the nairsayers generally have blogs that only get a fraction of that number of views. Another criticism of the nairsayers is "You've published so many blogs on so many different subjects that you get lots of hits from people juts brosing on Google". To me that is a compliment not a criticism. Anyway, I think it is an achievement. I hope any dislexics out there, who were told at school that they'd amount to nothing take some sort of inspiration from this. I am proud of my blog and F--- the nairsayers!

Anyway, here's a couple of interesting (to me anyway) charts. Ever wondered where people who read The Barnet Eye live? Here you go

Another thing that intrigues me is what Browsers they use. So here you go

I find it fascinating that it's had over 83,000 views from Mexico! I do hope they've enjoyed reading it, 

And we mark another milestone today. Fourteen years ago, almost to the day, I published the very first Saturday List. It was ten things that don't live up to their promise. Today we publish the 500th List. I was originally just going to do a list of lists. However I decided that would be a bit boring for such a landmark.

So what was the first list? 

1. Every England football team world cup and euro campaign since 1966.
2. Everything the Rolling Stones have done since they released "Start Me Up".
3. Every film Sequel, apart from Godfather II.
4. The remake of the Producers.
5. Flying home business class from Washington on US airlines.
6. Barnet's Jubilee Beacon, which failed to light.
7. Every dodgy establishment I've ever staggered into in Soho when drunk on a stag night.
8. Every recording ever made by Annie Lennox.
9. Chinese eat as much as you like buffets
10. Audley Harrison.

So would I choose the same list? Well I don't think of them are any less of a disappointment. Oddly the list has several things that are fairly topical. At the time England were embarking on an unsuccessful World cip campaign. England went on to finish bottom of their group and went home early. 

The Rolling Stones have released a new album recently. Like many of their recent albums, it's OK, but nowhere near as good as Start Me Up. I can't think of any sequels made in the last 12 years that contradict that. The original version of the Producers was one of my favourite films, the remake was awful, but TBH I'd more or less forgotten it until I reviewed the list. I had just been on a business trip to the USA on American Airlines. It was a disappointment. I am glad someone else was paying. I don't do such things anymore! I'd forgotten Barnet's dodgy Jubilee Beacon. It seemed to sum up Barnet's dodgy administration at the time. Now we have an even more dodgy one! A Labour regime propped up by The Tories, to thwart a solitary Green Councillor. It really is in the realms of "You couldn't make it up".

I am sort of past the stage where I go on Stag nights and stagger into Dodgy Soho establishments. In truth, Soho has been gentrified and sanitised. Some may say it has been ruined. As for Annie Lennox, some people took this as a criticism. It is actually a compliment. I think she is a great singer, who has never really been given the production and material that she deserves. I'd love to make a record with her. I am really not a fan of the production on many of her numbers.

I avoid Chinese eat as much as you like buffets. That holds.  I'd probably delete Audley Harrison from the list. He'd been over hyped and he's been largely forgotten.

So I'd delete the Producers, The Jubille Beacon and Audley and I'd add the following

8. Watching live music at the Millenium Dome, or whatever it's called now.Awful

9. Cornish Pasties from outlets at London Mainline Train Stations. Alwasys look delicious and disappoint

10. Democracy. Donald Trump, Keir Starmer. Need I go on. 

Apologies if you expected a list of more than three entries today

I never dreamed that the blog would get 10 million views. I never dreamed that I'd manage to produce 500 lists. You can see all of the lists here. They are not in the correct numeric sequence, as when I got to 499, I realised I'd missed 361-381 out! 

I can't finish without some music from The False Dots. I was trying to work out which of our tracks was most appropriate. I decided to go for Wacky Races live at London talent week. This is a song that for me eemplifies the spirit of the band and also the blog. It tells a few stories. 

Sometimes the world seems full of A-holes, you just have to deal with it

 I can't dress it up. The are too many people in the world who are complete A-holes. Not surprisingly, they tend to band together to push forward the A-hole agenda. At all levels there is a pattern, They tend to be misogynistic. They tend to have a complete lack of empathy and respect for other people, outside of their clique. They tend to ignore the misdemeanours and sins of their awful friends, but at the same time are incredibly thin skinned and cowardly, and run a mile when actually confronted. But they seek safety in numbers and know that when they have a little gang, they can forward their agenda.

With the situation in the world at the moment, they have a massive cheerleader across the pond. It would be very easy to get totally frustrated by all of this, I do. In fact I get quite down, however, sometimes you have to take a step back and realise that they are just part of the rich tapestry that is called life. I try and rationalise it by telling myself that God put all of the A-holes here so we properly appreciate the nice people. 

The most difficult aspect of it all, is that sometimes I see decent people falling for their b@ll@x. Many moons ago, I decided that I wanted to do an Open University degree in psychology. I thought that it was a subject that would make it easier for me to negotiate the pratfalls of dealing with people who's behaviour I found repulsive. I read a stack of books on the subject. It convinced me that I didn't actually want to learn anymore about it. What I realised is that generally such people have been damaged at some point in their life. They suffer from psychological injuries that make things like empathy and decency difficult.

Human beings are pack animals. When we are injured or damaged, we seek the solace of the pack. We tend to choose the pack we belong to based on our psychological needs.  Damaged men, who feel vulnerable, band with men of a similar mindset. They reinforce each other. They seek small victories and small advantages if they are insignificant individuals. When they find themselves in positions of real power, they do real damage. But the problem for me, and why I decided that I wouldn't persue my studies was because when I started to understand this dynamic, I started to feel sorry for them and wonder what terrible thing had happened in their life, to make them so revolting? 

In Mondays blog, I discussed why it is OK to dislike people. One of my regular correspondants sent me a very emotional message, about a figure in their life. When I read it, I started wondering what made the person they were talking about so repulsive. Sadly, they seemed to conform  to all of the steriotypes above. 

I recalled the lyrics to Kow Kow Calqulator by The Steve Miller Band. There is a passage in it that has always disturbed me, but seems appropriate.

So many times kow kow had heard it said before

Oh, don't, lord, don't go near that door

The cause of our evil you'll uncover

Because of our misery you discover

Well, misery seeks it's own company

Kow kow had heard it said

Now he sits there crying

Oh, with his hands across his head

I have always read this as a warning. Be careful around such people as they can destroy you. One of the most disturbing aspect of people who have suffered psychological injuries is that often, the abused become abusers and seek to share the misery and hatred. Whilst people who have suffered psychological damage have reason to be how they are, it does not excuse their behaviour. It does not make it OK. We live in the world we live in. Not the one we would like to live in, As such, we have to look after ourselves, our family and our friends. It may be sad that damaged people become A-holes, don't let them drag you down with them. I have great faith that in all instances reason, justice and fairness prevails. It's just sad that it doesn't always happen in the timescales we'd like. In the meantime, we just have to deal with it.

It's a Friday so I'll leave you with what I think is a suitable tune for my mood today. I wrote this in lockdown, Charles Honderick takes the vocal duties. It's called "Get your knee off my brothers neck"

Rock and Roll Stories #68 - The changing face of getting people to come to gigs

 As a band with a four decade legacy of geting people to come and watch us, I was thinking about the way grassroots bands interact with their audiences and get them to come to gigs has changed over the years. Ever since The False Dots first started, the basic proposition has been the same. Come and see us and you'll have a great evening. Perhaps our biggest strength is also our biggest weakness. We are a great live band, we have always got a good audience engagement. But our secret weapon has pretty much been that as a lot of people who come know each other, it is also a chance to catch up. But people only come to gigs if they know about it. You could put The Rolling Stones on at the Dublin Castle, but if no one knew, then no one would go. You have to get the message out and create a buzz.

When The False Dots started, this was easy. I was still at school, as was the rest of the band. We simply told all our mates at school and they came. For the first coiuple of years of the band, this ensured we'd have a decent audience. By the time we got to 1983, most of our friends were at Uni or we were not in contact. however, we'd built up a bit of a reputation and a following. People would see our name on a listing in the NME or Melody Maker and just show up. I'd also ring up all of my mates. Most people who liked music, read the music press and gig listings. Promoters knew we'd pull a few people in and they'd put us on with decent bands. Getting gigs was not a problem. 

By 1987, things had changed. Our music was out of vogue, our mates who had been music nuts were doing other things and the younger generation were not interested in our style of music and stupidity. Promoters were not interested unless we paid to play. We'd still get a few people along, but the days of 100 fans turning up were gone. I'd ring my mates, they'd promise to come and then not bother. In 1990, I was fed up with it all and we stopped playing until 2002. 

In 2002, we restarted. It was meant to be a one off gig, to raise money for the family of my former business partner, Ernie Ferebee, who had passed away. Facebook wasn't really on the scene, but as it was for Ernie, we did a big ring around. The gig at the Red Lion was packed and loads of people we'd nots een for years came. Rick Collins, who promoted it, put ads in the Music press. It seemed nothing had changed, but we were on the cusp of the digital age. The band was not particularly busy, we did 1-2 gigs a year, mostly to mates. 

By 2007, many people were signed up to platforms like Facebook. I failed to spot the potential initially for band marketing. However, in 2008, when I started this blog, I had my own platform. The music press and its role promoting music was diminishing. By 2018, the NME stopped printing. Whereas previously its gig listings were the bble for muso's, it became irrelevant. Facebook changed and evolved. There are all manner of special interest groups, these are well suited to music fans. If you like Ska music, you join groups that focus on that genre of music etc. Bands post links etc. 

I can't recall the last time I rang up a mate to come to a  gig. We do engage with the printed press. We have a good relationship with The Camden New Journal, who have kindly supported the band. However, the main way of engagement is by posting in online groups. We also get a lot of support from radio. We do a lot of work on On Line Stations, such as Rock Radio UK, and also get plugs on BBC Radio London. My view of such things has always been fairly promiscuous. We try everything to get gigs mentioned. It works. People we've lost touch with turn up and re-engage, but it requires a fair bit of work. 

I am amazed at how lazy many bands are at self promotion. Many seem to think that people will magically turn up to see them, They won't. People only come if they know about it and are given a good reason to part company with their hard earned cash. But that only goes so far. Once they are at the gig, you hve to ensure they have a good time and want to come back. There are two elements to this. The first is that you have to be entertaining, but the second is, you need to find an audience that likes what you do. The best live band I've seen is The Ramones, but at their peak, they supported a well known heavy rock band on a tour. They went down like a lead ballon (not a Led Zepplin BTW!).They were simply playing to the wrong audience. Do your homework!

What is undoubtedly true today though, is that when you play a gig and ask people along, there is much more competition for peoples attention. When we started playing gigs, people would come along because it was relatively cheap and there was not much else on. We figured out eaarly on, that if people had a good night, they'd come back and often bring a friend or two. We also learned that if we had a bad gig, all the good work could instantly be undone. Our first truly terrible gig was on the 18th August 1980. We had been promoting gigs at the Harwood Hall in Mill Hill, this was the third. It was so awful that we never did another one there. We also changed our line up and made sure that we were ready for anything. We did a few duds, but it wasn't because we weren't prepared. At Tumba Gymansium Stockholm in January 1982  , the PA blew up. At the Prowlers Rally in October 1984, it was a bike rally in a Marquee and the temperature was freezing, it was too cold to play guitars and they kept going out of tune. Those sort of things you can't control. What you can control is knowing the songs well enough to deliver them in an entertaining way. I think we've never missed the mark again. 

There are a few basic rules to try and follow. Don't over gig. People will get bored if you gig all of the time. We try and ensure that we only gig four times a year at any venue and if we have a friendly promoter in an area, we only gig for them. We try and build up a degree of trust. We also find that some people will only come to certain venues. 

But if you really want to develop, there is a secret. Network with other bands. Make alliances. The False Dots have several mates that we've done lots of gigs with over the years. We've introduced our fans to them and a few of their fans now come and see us. This has always been our ethos. When we first started, we used to invite a band from Edgware called The Vektors to play with us. They had a really solid fan base and we became mates. You can see one of their early performances supporting us  at The Harwood Hall here. 

We also were mates with a band called "NO Biscuits" and did a few gigs with them. They headlined at The Bald Faced Stag in Burnt Oak for a CND Benefit gig. Here is The False Dots peforming at the same gig. You'll notice a healthy audience at both gigs.

Why Donald Trump has proven the conspiracy theorists have got it all wrong

 When I was a wee nipper, my favourite program was Gerry Andersons UFO. I loved the idea that there was a secret organisation with bases on the moon and a hige military infrastructure that no one knew existed. It sparked a lifelong interest in the subject. I had assumed at the time (around 1969/70) that by now, humanity would have reached the stars and made contact with Alien civilisations. I used to read all manner of books and magazines on the subject. This was to some extent futher encouraged by my Dad, who was a WW2 bomber pilot and was also fascinated in unexplaonable ariel phenomena. He'd not seen such things, but knew people he trusted who had. Hiss view, based on his experience as an officer in the RAF was that all manner of things that were difficult were covered up. There are still plenty of files that have not been released from the period for reasons of national security. I can understand some of these. For instance, papers related to the Manhatten project, where the US developed nuclear bombs are probably best kept secret.

This convinced me that there was all manner of dodgy conspiracies going on. When the internet first became popular, I trawled for all manner of weird and wonderful tales. There is so much stuff out there, that is real and verified and totally unexplainble, which hints to conspiracies. My favourite is the fact that there are traces of Xenon-129 on Mars, a product associated with nuclear weapons. There is plenty of plausable evidence that Mars once had a civilisation and it was destroyed by nuclear war. There is also plenty of other plausable explanations why this is a load of old cobblers. The truth is that until we acutally explore the planet properly we can't be certain. I am always highly suspicious of scientist who given mundane explanations for such issues, when it is clear that they are speculating in the same way the conspiracy theorists do. 

But I have to say my interest in conspiracy theories has waned to some extent. Not because I believe the official line on UFO's, the Kennedy Assassination, The Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, etc. The reason is because it is impossoble to get to the bottom of any of it, With AI, there is no such thing as a trusted source. To categorically prove anything, we need evidence and if it can be mocked up and forged by a bored 7 year old, to a level that can fool experts, is it worth worrying too much about?

When I was a kid, conspiracy theories were entertaining diversions for people like my Dad, who had inquisitive minds, knew a bit about the subjects and were prepared to read a lot. Dad would get books by authors such as Eric Von Daniken and devour them. Sometimes he'd summarily declare them "a load of old cobblers" as he'd find the riddled with obvious errors. Others fascinated him. Being familiar with firearms, the details of how JFK was shot fascinated him. His view was that it was highly unlikely that Harvey Oswald shot him. The theory that America didn't land on the moon was just raising its head around the time Dad passed away. He explained to me exactly why it was cobblers. The USA was in a Space Race with the USSR. By the simple process of triangulation, the USSR would have spotted the Yanks were cheating and would have humiliated them. The RAF used triangulation to bomb Berln, it is a relatively straightforward concept.

But now the conspiracy industry is different. People do their research on Google and Youtube. They generally know nothing of the technicalities of the subjects. All you need is a plausable story and a reason why the information needs suppressing to build a conspiracy theory that will fly. Conspiracy websites. When I first started looking at the net for UFO stories, I found a wonderfully entertaining site called rense.com. I'd check it every day for the latest stories. I doubt I've looked at it for ten years. But I did as I put this together. It still has some of the stuff about evidence of nuclear war on Mars, but little of that is new. Most of it concerns conspiracy theories about Donald Trump, Israel, Ukraine and Covid.

I guess I realised fairly quickly why I stopped looking at such sites. The more I look, the less interested I become. What I have come to realise is that the whole thing has become an industry. In truth, much of it is click bait, trying to lure people into buying 'alternative' therapies by undermining trust in qualified experts. It seems to me that the whole UFO issue etc, is simply a gateway to lure people in. Once in, they are bombarded with information suggesting that if you follow treatments prescribed by doctors, you will get cancer and die, and you should be taking various suppliments instead.

The other strand is that there is a dark governmental conspiracy, leading us all towards doom and destruction. What shocks me most is the fact that a cursory glance at the history of the last ten years completely debunks this notion. I have come to the conclusion that criticising Donald Trump is a complete waste of time. I don't believe he has a clue what he has doing, or even why. Many have pointed out the continual U-Turns and shifts in position. I don't believe he's ever consciously made a U-Turn or changed his position, as I don't believe that he can actually remember what his position was previously. He simply looks as the situation as it is today and makes a simplistic decision based on current facts. I believe his advisors are either too scared or to lazy to point out the contradictions. I suspect that they know the best way to get on is to simply tell him he's a genius. One of my favourite clips on Youtube was a chimpanzee with a machine gun and a bunch of paramilitaries. They are all laughing and joking, until the Chimpanzee finds the trigger and starts shooting them. 

If there is a dodgy cabal that was pushing for Trump, I suspect this is the situation they are now in. Much of the mantra of Conspiracy Theories centres on a "New World Order". If there is, it has gone spectacularly wrong. Both Ukraine and Iran have shown that tanks, fighter planes, etc are so last century when it comes to warfare. The new game is cheap drones The US economy has, for nearly a century, been geared around the arms industry, where the USA is second to none. Trillions have been spent on all manner of fancy weapons, yet Iran is thwarting them, with drones etc, which they are knocking up for peanuts. Russia is learning a similar lesson. You can have the fanciest weapons in the world, but if they are the wrong weapon for the battle you are fighting, you will lose. France learned this with the Maginot line. The USA learned this in Vietnam. Both the Russians and Americans learned this in Afghanistan. But the same mistakes are made repeatedly. 

So who is makinhg money? The answer is obvious. The people who make and sell weapons. They do not want a 'New World Order'. They want a level of managable chaos, with safe havens to spend their cash in. Sadly the mundane truth about the Conspiracy Theories I see, is that they are actually a conspiracy to get people who have enquiring minds, to go down rabbit holes and get lost, whilst the rich men who sell weapons watch the cash roll in, and young men die, without a clue as to what they are really fighting for. 

I wrote a number on the subject in 1982. It is still true.