Why Donald Trump has proven the conspiracy theorists have got it all wrong

 When I was a wee nipper, my favourite program was Gerry Andersons UFO. I loved the idea that there was a secret organisation with bases on the moon and a hige military infrastructure that no one knew existed. It sparked a lifelong interest in the subject. I had assumed at the time (around 1969/70) that by now, humanity would have reached the stars and made contact with Alien civilisations. I used to read all manner of books and magazines on the subject. This was to some extent futher encouraged by my Dad, who was a WW2 bomber pilot and was also fascinated in unexplaonable ariel phenomena. He'd not seen such things, but knew people he trusted who had. Hiss view, based on his experience as an officer in the RAF was that all manner of things that were difficult were covered up. There are still plenty of files that have not been released from the period for reasons of national security. I can understand some of these. For instance, papers related to the Manhatten project, where the US developed nuclear bombs are probably best kept secret.

This convinced me that there was all manner of dodgy conspiracies going on. When the internet first became popular, I trawled for all manner of weird and wonderful tales. There is so much stuff out there, that is real and verified and totally unexplainble, which hints to conspiracies. My favourite is the fact that there are traces of Xenon-129 on Mars, a product associated with nuclear weapons. There is plenty of plausable evidence that Mars once had a civilisation and it was destroyed by nuclear war. There is also plenty of other plausable explanations why this is a load of old cobblers. The truth is that until we acutally explore the planet properly we can't be certain. I am always highly suspicious of scientist who given mundane explanations for such issues, when it is clear that they are speculating in the same way the conspiracy theorists do. 

But I have to say my interest in conspiracy theories has waned to some extent. Not because I believe the official line on UFO's, the Kennedy Assassination, The Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, etc. The reason is because it is impossoble to get to the bottom of any of it, With AI, there is no such thing as a trusted source. To categorically prove anything, we need evidence and if it can be mocked up and forged by a bored 7 year old, to a level that can fool experts, is it worth worrying too much about?

When I was a kid, conspiracy theories were entertaining diversions for people like my Dad, who had inquisitive minds, knew a bit about the subjects and were prepared to read a lot. Dad would get books by authors such as Eric Von Daniken and devour them. Sometimes he'd summarily declare them "a load of old cobblers" as he'd find the riddled with obvious errors. Others fascinated him. Being familiar with firearms, the details of how JFK was shot fascinated him. His view was that it was highly unlikely that Harvey Oswald shot him. The theory that America didn't land on the moon was just raising its head around the time Dad passed away. He explained to me exactly why it was cobblers. The USA was in a Space Race with the USSR. By the simple process of triangulation, the USSR would have spotted the Yanks were cheating and would have humiliated them. The RAF used triangulation to bomb Berln, it is a relatively straightforward concept.

But now the conspiracy industry is different. People do their research on Google and Youtube. They generally know nothing of the technicalities of the subjects. All you need is a plausable story and a reason why the information needs suppressing to build a conspiracy theory that will fly. Conspiracy websites. When I first started looking at the net for UFO stories, I found a wonderfully entertaining site called rense.com. I'd check it every day for the latest stories. I doubt I've looked at it for ten years. But I did as I put this together. It still has some of the stuff about evidence of nuclear war on Mars, but little of that is new. Most of it concerns conspiracy theories about Donald Trump, Israel, Ukraine and Covid.

I guess I realised fairly quickly why I stopped looking at such sites. The more I look, the less interested I become. What I have come to realise is that the whole thing has become an industry. In truth, much of it is click bait, trying to lure people into buying 'alternative' therapies by undermining trust in qualified experts. It seems to me that the whole UFO issue etc, is simply a gateway to lure people in. Once in, they are bombarded with information suggesting that if you follow treatments prescribed by doctors, you will get cancer and die, and you should be taking various suppliments instead.

The other strand is that there is a dark governmental conspiracy, leading us all towards doom and destruction. What shocks me most is the fact that a cursory glance at the history of the last ten years completely debunks this notion. I have come to the conclusion that criticising Donald Trump is a complete waste of time. I don't believe he has a clue what he has doing, or even why. Many have pointed out the continual U-Turns and shifts in position. I don't believe he's ever consciously made a U-Turn or changed his position, as I don't believe that he can actually remember what his position was previously. He simply looks as the situation as it is today and makes a simplistic decision based on current facts. I believe his advisors are either too scared or to lazy to point out the contradictions. I suspect that they know the best way to get on is to simply tell him he's a genius. One of my favourite clips on Youtube was a chimpanzee with a machine gun and a bunch of paramilitaries. They are all laughing and joking, until the Chimpanzee finds the trigger and starts shooting them. 

If there is a dodgy cabal that was pushing for Trump, I suspect this is the situation they are now in. Much of the mantra of Conspiracy Theories centres on a "New World Order". If there is, it has gone spectacularly wrong. Both Ukraine and Iran have shown that tanks, fighter planes, etc are so last century when it comes to warfare. The new game is cheap drones The US economy has, for nearly a century, been geared around the arms industry, where the USA is second to none. Trillions have been spent on all manner of fancy weapons, yet Iran is thwarting them, with drones etc, which they are knocking up for peanuts. Russia is learning a similar lesson. You can have the fanciest weapons in the world, but if they are the wrong weapon for the battle you are fighting, you will lose. France learned this with the Maginot line. The USA learned this in Vietnam. Both the Russians and Americans learned this in Afghanistan. But the same mistakes are made repeatedly. 

So who is makinhg money? The answer is obvious. The people who make and sell weapons. They do not want a 'New World Order'. They want a level of managable chaos, with safe havens to spend their cash in. Sadly the mundane truth about the Conspiracy Theories I see, is that they are actually a conspiracy to get people who have enquiring minds, to go down rabbit holes and get lost, whilst the rich men who sell weapons watch the cash roll in, and young men die, without a clue as to what they are really fighting for. 

I wrote a number on the subject in 1982. It is still true.

Don't worry, it is perfectly fine to dislike people!

 Last week, when I was on holiday, I surprised a friend we were away with, by expressing my intense dislike for a certain individual I know. There are various reasons why he was surprised, but the gist of what he said was that he'd never really heard me say such things about anyone. I generally keep my views to myself if I dislike someone and I think I regretted the fact that a few beers on holiday had loosened my tongue.

I was thinking about this yesterday. I am generally fairly forgiving. I try not to allow myself to get wound up and seek revenge or retribution (I was not always like this, but I have grown up a little over the years), but that doesn't mean I like everyone. Generally there are three reasons I dislike people. The first reason is I dislike bullies. The second is I dislike liars. The third is that they upset my kids (I am far more forgiving when they upset me, as I usually assume it was all my fault). To really dislike someone, they need to tick all three boxes. There are very few people who have managed that feat. As someone who was raised as a Roman Catholic, I always feel guilty about disliking people. The Good Lord taught us to "Love our enemies" and said that just loving your friends is something anyone can can do. I realised long ago that this was a high bar, one I could never possibly meet. In fact I struggled with the doctrine. If someone murdered one of my children,  I doubt I could forgive them, let alone love them and I would never judge anyone harshly for not having forgiveness in their heart.

Last week, I was reading about Donald Trump saying he'd like to meet the new Ayatollah of Iran. There was much comment about whether the Ayatollah would want anything to do with a man who ordered the murder of his father and much of his family. I am not a fan of the current Iranian regime, but as a human being, I think it must be a terrible situation, where you have no choice but to deal with the fact that your adversary murdered family members, but for the good of your nation you may have to cut a deal with them.

I have come to the conclusion that it is perfectly OK to dislike people, so long as there are grounds for it and your actions are fair. I have a few customers who I dislike, as they are rude, dishonest and bullies. But I am usually just an observer wathcing them act badly towards others. They pay their bills and life goes on. Which, I guess, is how it should be. 

The Sunday Reflection #87 - Even people who are not nice can enrich your life

 I never knew any of my Grandparents. My Dad's parents died before he met my mother. He didn't really talk too much about his mother, other than giving the impression that she was very bright and capable. They lived in the outback of Australia, his Dad was an engineer. Dad would tell stories of his genius for engineering. He was a specialist in boring wells and in the oil industry. In the Australian outback, artesian wells provided water that kept cattle stations and towns running and his expertise was highly sought after. Dad really never discussed what sort of a man he was. On my Mums side, all of my siblings got to meet my Grandmother. She was, by all accounts a lovely lady. I was hugely jealous. I am the youngest of six and I missed out on Nana, she passed two years before I was born, in 1960. 

However of all of them, the one who I am most curious and interested in is my Mothers Father, A certain James Fanning. Born in Dublin, his family had Republican links, but his father was a policeman in the Dublin Constabulary. After retiring as a Policeman, he had properties and used to get my Grandfather to collect debts. My mother told me he left Ireland as the family had IRA connections and he was getting hassle from the authorities. My cousin, who has done some research, suggests it may have been to get away from his dictatorial father. He stowed away on a boat to England, only it wasn't a boat to England. It was going to Argentina. When he didn't arrive in Liverpool and his food and drink ran out, he presented himself to the Captain and was made to work his passage, doing the worst work possible. When he arrived in Argentina, he hated it, but had to work their for six months, to pay for his passage home. When he eventually arrived in England, he met my Grandmother and got married. Apparently he was dapper and intelligent. However, fate intervened and he was conscripted into the Army, gassed and badly injured. When he got back, he was a different man. A bitter alchoholic. My mother was born in 1925 so never knew the old version. She just new a bitter man, who was selfish and often very embarrassing and unpleasant. She grew up hating him. He died in 1948 at 66, when his lungs failed. 

When I was a kid, most of the stories she told about him, were of his acts of selfishness and inconsideration. How he would eat all of the bacon when the family rations were given in the war. The kids got the bacon rind. How he would drink eight pints every day, regardless of family finances. How my Grandmother had to work to keep the family afloat and hide money and food from him for the children. How he embarrassed her when she brought boyfriends home. He would have a sixth sense. The only days she recalls that he didn't go to the pub was when she was bringing someone to meet the family. He would then proceed to humilate her and the chap would never be seen again, He would tale care to show the worst side of himself. 

When she met my Dad, an Australian pilot, and thet decided to get married, Dad had to ask for his permission. Mum was terrified. Dad said he'd meet him at the pub. That would spare Mums blushes. They got on like a house on fire. Permission was granted. Mum's fears were unfounded. Shortly before he died, she challenged him on his behaviour. He said "Laurie didn't care what I was like, he wasn't a snob, if those other fellas had really liked you, they'd not have cared either, they'd have wanted to save you from all this".

Sometime in the late 1990's, I was chatting with my Mother. She told me a startling thing. She said that she'd changed her mind about her Father. She had realised why he did what he did and why he was like he was. She had forgiven him. I was intrigued. She told me that she had once asked her mother why she had stayed with such a tyrant. The family all called him "The Encumberance". Her mothers answer saddened her. She said "I was lucky to still have a husband after the war, many didn't. The war changed him, but he gave me the best things in life". My Mum asked what she meant and she replied "All of you, my children are the best things in my life. I've never minded working hard and making sacrifices and seeing you all grow up happy has been the best thing in my life".

My mum then explained that she had been reflecting on many of the things her father told her and she'd realised that he was preparing his children for a harsh, unforgiving world. He told her he was delighted when she married my father, as he had an English name and she wouldn't have to put up with anti Irish prejudice. In London at the time, many hotels etc had signs saying "No blacks, No Dogs, No Irish". The Irish were assumed to be think and uncouth by many of the English, only fit for working as labourers. He was exceptionally intelligent. A socialist and an internationalist. He hated Nationalism in all of its guises. He ensured that my Mother understood this. He also said "The Boys will have to look after themselves, they will get by, you and your sisters will have to survive by using your brains". He told her that if she wanted to get on, she would have to take responsibility for everything. Women who rely on men, often end up with nothing. At the time, she thought this was his wallowing in self pity, but her and her sisters all, to some extent, benefitted from having this drummed into them. She was a far better businesswoman than my Father a businessman. She wouldn't fritter cash away in the bookies, orspend impulsively.

I was thinking about this conversation this morning. I often think about Mum on a Sunday morning. I miss her a lot, although towards the end of her life, she was not happy and I was actually relieved when she went. She was very intelligent and insightful. As I get older, I understand her relationship with her father much better. If she was around there are a lot of questions I'd have, but I will never know. One of the things that intrigues me most though, was whether she thought having a rather difficult father actually meant she was better prepared for the world as it really is.  We probably hate to admit it, but people who are not nice can enrich your life. In my life, people have badly let me down on a few occasions. Te perverse thing is that they've always ended up doing me a favour. Mind you, I am pleased that I did not have such a difficult relationship with my Dad. 

Have a wonderful Sunday. Here is a song I wrote a few years back when I was looking back on my own youth.

Normal blogging service will resume tomorrow

Greetings from Benidorm! Normal blogging service will be resumed tomorrow upon my return

 

Has anyone personally seen any benefits from Brexit?

 I’m writing this in Valencia. We travelled on Saturday. We had the joy of the new airport checks when we arrived. In truth for me it wasn’t too bad, the airport was empty and I sailed through. My wife wasn’t so lucky, the system failed to read her fingerprints. She was held up for 15 minutes. We were lucky. It got me thinking. Can anyone give me a single tangible benefit they have personally experienced as a result of Brexit? Spare us any ideological waffle. If something in your life is easier, cheaper or better I’d love to know. After ten years, we should be in a position where Nigel Farage has big long list. I’m a democrat so if it is to be reversed or undone, the British people should have some sort of vote. For me a majority for a party committed to Rejoin would be enough. Labour didn’t put that in their manifesto so can’t. But any vote must be on the basis of facts, not opinions.

The Saturday List #381 - My top six life mistakes

 Todays list is Saturday list #381 - It shouldn't be, but I made a numbering mistake and missed list 361-381 in the sequence and only realised when I got to list #499! So I had to atone my mistake. Anyway, I've reached the end of the gap, so I thought, like a good Catholic boy, I'd atone for my sins and confess my top ten life mistakes and my regrets. I have very few and I've had a great life, but these are the ones that I beat myself up over most. I've not included relationship mistakes. That would be unkind

1. Not speaking up when a Roman Catholic Priest described my cousin, who had Downs Syndrome as a vegetable. I was absolutely shocked by this. The Priest is well respected and well liked. I was raised a Catholic and taught to be deferential to Priests. My cousin did not hear, I may have reacted very differently if she had, but I have always felt I let myself down badly by not having the courage to pull him. The fact I could let down someone I loved really bothers me. 

2. In November 1981, I was living in Stockholm and went to see Swedish band Ebba Gron. At the gig were English punk band Theatre of Hate, who were having a night off. They went to check out the local competition. I got chatting to Billy Duffy, the guitarist, a fellow Man City fan. He offered me a job as a guitar tech, as his one had just left. I turned it down as I was happy with my girlfriend there. I have always regretted that. Billy went on to be the guitarist of The Cult and is a legend.

3. In November 1980, The False Dots made a demo with four songs on, one of which as called Fog. We played it to Ted Carroll at Chiswick records. When we recorded it, I removed all Craig Withecombes guitars and replaced them with a Korg Synth. Craig was furious, but it was the right decision. I'd borrowed the synth from a mate, who we called Moje. Ted loved Fog, hated the other tracks and told us to record some more stuff like that. Sadly I'd given the synth back to Moje. I should have listened and bought a synth! About a year later, Craig told me that he had realised I was right to put the synth on. 

4. In 1975, I made my O Level choices. I was under the deluded impression that I was academically gifted, so I chose physics, biology, French and chemistry.  The school suggested that as my grades were awful, I did building studies. As this meant a day out of school, I took this option. I scraped a C at physics and failed the others. To this day, Chemistry has baffled me. I wish I'd done art subjects. I wasted three years doing things I've never used. 

5. Not taking over the main role as lead singer of The False Dots in 1980, when Pete Conway quit the band. When we formed, it was always agreed that Pete would be the lead singer. When he left, I sang a few songs, but I didn't have the self confidence at the time to put my heart into it. I realised that I could hide behind the guitar. In 2021, over forty years later, when Allen Ashley left the band, I stepped up, out of necessity. I realised that I was a natural. I am not a great singer technically, but I think I am an excellent front man and I write songs that suit my voice. Had I realised this 41 years ago, the whole course of my life would've been different. The truth is that it is all about confidence. I have a degree of confidence now that I lacked then. 

6. Not having more kids. I never wanted any. In fact I was a bit cross when I found out my missus was pregnant. I thought I'd be a lousy father and the whole concept scared me to death. I hate doing things badly, but I saw no way I'd make a good parent. I am not sure I have but I picked my partner well and she is wonderful. I wish I had  few more of them running around now

Have a great weekend. Here's a tune for you! This is for all my Arsenal supporting mates. Enjoy while the moment is there!

Rock and Roll Stories #67 - The death of a dream

 When I saw the Ramones on the 6th June 1977 at The Roundhouse, it was the most important moment in my life. It was also the most exciting. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be in a band. by 1990, I had totally fallen out of love with music. A cursory glance at the no 1's of the year gives a clue. The low point was in September. One of my favourite tracks, by one of my favourite artists hit the No 1 slot. When The Joker by The Steve Miller band hit No 1, I was horrified. I suppose I should have been delighted to see a track I love at the top of the charts, but it was there because it had been used in a rather brilliant Levi's advert. I felt that if the only way Steve Miller could get a No 1 in the UK was license a track for a Levi's ad, what was the point of it all?

The whole vibe of the music scene had changed. Most venues were operating 'pay to play' policies. Places such as The Rock Garden would give you 50 tickets and ask you for £100. You'd then be expected to sell the for  £5 each. They would say you could make £150. There were even worse examples. The False Dots were finding it impossible to get get gigs. It felt like we were putting a lot of effort in and it was all a complete waste of time. Ironically, some of the songs we were writing were excellent. The problem was that no one had much enthusiasm. We'd book rehearsals and band members wouldn't turn up or would be an hour late. There were no mobile phones, so I was getting more and more frustrated. 

One day, I walked down to the studio in the rain, waited an hour and a a half, no one showed up. I went home and decided I realised that the flame had gone out. I thought that rather than try and keep flogging the dead horse, I'd just put it out of its misery quietly. I didn't say anything, I just didn't arrange any rehearsals. After two weeks, no one had got in touch. A week later, Tony who was singing for us and was brilliant asked when we would be rehearsing again. I told him that I was taking a break. He was genuinely disappointed and I felt awful, but I knew it was right for me at the time. I never actually discussed it with Paul and Graham, I just stopped organising rehearsals, they didn’t seem bothered and we all got on with life.

I genuinely thought I was done with being in a band. It may sound strange but it was a huge relief. I felt no sense of loss, just a liberation to do other things. I put the guitar down and didn’t pick it up for ten years. I want done with music though. I had a studio business to build. But that’s another story

Jimmy Savile - Why did he get away with it?

 One of the most depressing, but enlightening moments of my life was when I was 20 and I went with my then girlfriend to Hendon Magistrates Court, to give her moral support when she testified against a dangerous driver who had knocked her off her bike. There were two cases before her. The first one, was a child molester, who had been exposing himself to young girls in the park. He was an extremely unpleasant character with a long string of convictions for similar offences. He span a cock and bull story that even I saw through immediately. Apprently he had a new girlfriend and was a reformed character. The magistrates let him off with a caution. I was completely disgusted. The next case was a retired milkman. The Police had stopped him for driving a car with a rusty bumper. The police considered it to be dangerous. He admitted that he should have noticed the rust. The result? A £200 fine and a 1 year ban from driving. He had also heard the previous case and asked the Magistrate if they really though his offence was worse than flashing at children. The Magistrate warned him to be quiet and told him he would be taken to the cells for contempt of court if he didn't leave. It gave me some idea of what the English legal system thinks is important. 

It was the first time in my life that I realised that whilst 99% of the population are revolted by people who abuse children, the people who actually make the law really don't care. I've been to court on a couple of other occasions since, to support friends. Each time, there have been similar instances of such miscarriages (IMHO) of justice. Had it happened just once, in Hendon, maybe I'd have put it down to an abberation. As someone raised in the Roman Catholic faith, I am sadly only too aware of the institutional toleration of child abusers. I must add that I personally have never seen it first hand. I know plenty who have. Many parents did not do the right thing out of respect for the Church. When there were complaints, Priests simply got moved and carried on elsewhere. I am convinced that the non reporting of abuse by parents was a major factor in it running rife. Having said that, the more I learn the more I realise that it isn't just the Churches. 

In Northern Ireland, we see a situation where a Knight of the Realm and former first minister is being tried for sexual abuse. The case of Cyril Smith is as well documented as it is horrific. Social media has been ablaze with anger about 'grooming gangs'. There is a rather strange narrative that we don't have a problem in the indiginous population with the same issues. Whilst it suits some wannabee politicians and a lot of noisy voices on social media to pretend that it is not a problem for 'ordinary English people' the reason such things thrive is because the Police and Courts do not and never have taken sexual abuse of children seriously. 

I know this only too well. I had a run in with one such character, who had a criminal record for abusing a seven year old girl, and served a (far too short) prison sentence for it. He had managed to infiltrate a local community group doing 'social media' for them (ie filming children performing ballet at community events, etc). It was clear from his social media postings that he was also involved in other activities with under age girls. I raised this with the Police. They were not in the least bit interested. The said individual then accused me of 'harrassment' for reporting him. I was told that 'Whilst you have done nothing wrong, you should steer well clear of him, as it could be perceived as harrassment if he made another complaint'. The community group was wound up, as the Chairman of it was not prepared to commit to proper safeguarding protocols. The sorry individual to this day lives in Mill Hill and spends his life posting on Twitter, rather oddly attacking grooming gangs and spouting right wing propaganda. 

What no one ever explained to me was why the Police were totally uninterested in the safety of the young people in Mill Hill who he posed a threat to. It was 100% clear that he was seeking to get involved in all manner of activity that involved young girls, but this was not a matter of interest to the authorities. So why are the authorities so disinterested in keeping children safe? To me, the answer is quite simple. If the law was fit for purpose to deal with grooming gangs, it would also be fit for purpose to stop the rest of them as well. All of the people in positions of authority, who are quite happy to see people get away with indulging their depraved fantasies with children if they are part of the establishment, know that if the law is fit for purpose to catch the people who are not part of the cosy club, then the cosy club that is happy to tolerate such behaviour will come to an end.

People often have said to me "How do you think Jimmy Saville OBE got away with it?". My reply is always the same. The question is not how, but why. And the answer is two pronged. The first part is because the law is set up to allow people like Savile, who have rich powerful friends (who may or may not share his interests), to get away with it. Which leads us to the second part of the answer. It is clear that the British Establishment does not want a situation where people can be held to account for such abuse. As far as they are concerned, if that means that young girls in Bradford etc get damaged by grooming gangs, so be it, as far as they are concerned.

I was looking at the Donaldson case. A disturbing thought occurred to me. His party, The Ulster Unionists (of different flavours) had run the show for decades. In recent years, their nemisis Sinn Fein took over. If the Unionists were still running the show, would Donaldson be in court today? You can draw your own conclusions. I have. 

Strange goings on at Barnet Council

Perhaps the oddest thing I've ever seen in my years covering Barnet Council is the arrangement  between the Labour Party and the Tories to carve up the council between them, following the results in the May elections. Both parties finished up with 31 councillors and the Green party ended up with 1. This technically meant that the Greens held the balance of power. Only it didn't mean that at all. To my surprise, Labour and the Tories united to freeze the Greens out. There are more details, with comments from Barnets Labour and Conservative leaders, as well as from Charli Thompson, the Green councillor in this London Daily article.

One may wonder why a Green councillor, who until relatively recently was a member of the Labour party has effectively been shut out and disenfranchised. A friendly Tory councillor, who does not wish to be named told me "The Green councillor is a Corbynite with strongly anti Israel views and both the Labour party and ourselves felt that for the good of Barnet's voters, an arrangement between sensible grown up individuals was preferable to having such a person effectively having the casting vote over every council decision".

I am fascinated to see how these 'arrangements' will work. I know that Peter Zinkin, leader of the Conservatives is above all a pragmatist. Most of what London's councils do is statuatory. Under the Tories 20 years from 2002-2022, all manner of ideologically driven schemes were introduced, most of which failed miserably. Councillor Zinkin privately admitted to me that the One Barnet outsourcing programme was managed badly. Labour have spent much of their term trying to untangle the mess, with limited success. I can't really see the Tories having much apetite in the near future to go down that road again. 

I suspect that both parties see the attraction in saying that a vote for the Greens (or Reform for that matter) is a wasted vote. Should the arrangements endure until the next election, no doubt the Tories will claim that everything good was down to their scrutiny and Labour will claim that they need a mandate to do anything, if they are perceived as doing a bad job. 

I am amazed at the general silence surrounding all of this and the lack of comment. The artists formally known as 'The Barnet Bloggers' have said nothing on their blogs. It tells us a few rather interesting things. The first is that on the political spectrum, Labour and the Tories are far closer together than Labour and the Greens. The second is that the political establishment at the council does not want to make it easy for entryist parties. The third is that people who are openly critical of the Israel are not going to easily be granted access to any sort of power in the London Borough of Barnet.

My gut feeling is that the biggest winners of all this are the paid executive directors at Barnet Council. I suspect that Labour are not going to try and push anything through that is in anyway controversial and the Tories are not going to make life too difficult for them. As for our Lone Ranger Green Councillor, I suspect that they will find that being in a minority of one, in a room where 62 other people think you are bonkers will not be much fun. If I was in her position, I would look for some obvious quick wins, that are eminently sensible and start shouting about them very loudly. As she doesn't appear to have an X account, this may be hard for her. I would also suggest concentrating on the job in hand, getting the best services for the residents of Barnet, rather than using the post as a soapbox. But hey, what do I know, whenever I tried to get elected I failed miserably. 

Announcement - We Don't Live in America - 4th Of July Special! Mark your diaries

At the start of the year, I was working on a new album for my band. The title was provisionally set as "It's behind you".  This was also the provisional title of our next single. The single became "Big Hairy Spider", as the band rightly overruled me and said it was more memorable and catchy. The album? Well last year, I was becoming increasingly irritated by the infiltration of our culture and politics by Trumpite politics and mindsets. I love many things about the USA, it is where much of the music I love originates, Motown, Stax, NYC Punk, West Coast Psychedelia. I grew up watching the NASA moonshots in awe. I love American gangster films, such as The Godfather and gritty TV series such as The Sopranos and ER. But I am not and have never wanted to be American. I deplore the turn American politics has taken over the last decade or so. There is still much good about it, but watching the rise of Trumpism has made the world a worse place. Now I believe in Democracy and if America wants to choose a path they don't like, that is their choice and it is none of my business.

However when Americans right wingers start poking their nose in over here, it crosses a line. Being a zillionaire and owning a social media platform gives you a degree of influence that, if misused, can be very dangerous.  What disturbs me more than the Trumps and Elon Musks of this world poking their nose into our business, is the fact that our won right wingers do not see the irony of launching a "Unite the Kingdom" protest and asking a bunch of dodgy foreigners to turn up and spout claptrap.

I am English,. I am happy and proud to be English. My band played a St George's day celebration, as we are all proud to be Londoners living in England.  But our sort of Englishness is a very different one to the aggressive form of Nationalism that the likes of Tommy Robinson espouse. We are the England of  cups of tea, warm beer, fish and chips, currys, Roast beef on Sunday. We like waving flags, but in the right context, at The Proms or at a football match. Not in someones face to intimdate them. 

I wrote a song called "We don't live in America" to celebrate, good mannered, polite, welcoming Englishness. A country which is grown up and so we don't give the police guns, or electrocute villains. It celebrates the fact that we can have a laugh and it also celebrates the quirks of London language. 

We don’t have a president with big big cars
We don’t have a flag which has any stars 

We don’t fry villains in Electric chair!
We’re not allowed guns and we don’t care 
 
We call all our mates something rude
We love a cup of tea to wash down food
We knock back beers with indecent hurry
And have three more with a Ruby Murrey
Restaurant portions aren’t that big
But then again we aint greedy pigs
Chips are something we eat with fish
Roast beef dinner is our national dish
 
We drink warm beer, kick round footballs
We love the proms at the Albert Hall 

Liz was the boss, now we’ve got a King
He wears a crown and genuine Bling 
We moan at the bus stop in the rain
And dream of a holiday over in Spain
If you want a ciggie it’s an oily rag!
When you see the Queen she don’t wear drag

--

The song has become a key part of the set. Many people have come up to us and said that they love the sentiment. We agreed that it was the logical title for the album and the logical date for the album launch was clearly the 4th July. The date when Great Britain and the USA went their separate ways. 

Once we'd made the decision we realised that the tracks were very English and it worked extremely well. The album is a celebration of UK culture and living in and growing up in London. The tracks are very much about the life and times of the band growing up and growing old in London.

So what are they?

Dave The Roadie -  A celebration of the people who keep bands going. It is a mash up of about four people I know, who all made a massive non playing contribution to the band in the early years. Bands like The False Dots have only ever survived on good will, people lending us vans, driving us around and generally just being there. Our character Dave, smokes too much hashish, lives in Burnt Oak, has a very disfunctional family and a very hot sister. But we've all grown up, what happened to Dave? Well it is a story of redemption!

Electric Ballroom - This song was originally entitled Reality Ballroom and was co-written by myself and my original band mate Pete Conway, after he had an unfortunate experience at the Electric Ballroom, where he drank too much, passed out in the toilet and woke up after everyone had gone home and the venue was deserted. When Pete left the band, I rewrote the lyrics. I felt that Pete's version had made a classic mistake of trying to do too much and had lost its focus. I reshaped the first two verses to tell the story exactly as he told me. The third verse, where it is resolved, was my own experience, after drinking too much at Dingwalls. We played it a couple of times, but moved on. Our new version slows it down and makes it very psychedelic. Many of our fans tell us that they had similar experiences. It is a real favourite.

Please Myself - Allen Ashey was the singer of the band in 1985 and from 2012-2020. Allen wrote this song as a diatribe against the Internet and the trolls that inhabit it. It fits in perfectly with the theme. Allen wrote it in 2016-7, it seems very prophetic about the rise of a certain US tech zillionaire. Tom sings it.

Chinese Nosh - This is to me a very London song. London used to be full of family run, cheap Chinese takeaways. Mill Hill had one on station road, that had various names, The New China Garden, The Moon House, Wok Express, Hees are a few! I loved it. I probably weigh 3kg more due to their efforts. I was good friends with the family when it was The Moon House and this is my tribute to them and all of the other such people who keep us drunks in late night food!

Rambo's Rampage - Although I wrote this, it is based on the stories of our drummer Gray Ramsey and  how he became a Mod after seeing Quadraphenia and witnessing the lovely Leslie Ash in action. 

The Crows - I wrote this as a result of seeing the regeneration of The London Borough of Barnet, over my lifetime. The demise of outdoor swimming pools, Woolworths, warm beer in pubs, police on the beat, semi detached houses. They've been replaced by police cars hurtling around with sirens blaring, supermarkets selling super strength beers, to be consumed on park benches and the smell of skunk weed everywhere. It simply doesn't occur to planners that if there's nowhere for bored teenagers to go and nothing for them to do, you get anti social behaviour. A proper bouncy Ska song though. 

Hadley FC we love you - The title says it all. Our tribute to Non League football. Tom sings. The English love of lower league football is a wonderful thing. Our next single.

Big Hairy Spider - Our last single. A mash up of Ska and Punk, with Benny Hill thrown in. This is the sort of song that only gets written in London!

Pusher Man - Perhaps our meanest song. Like "Dave The Roadie" this song is based on several people I used to know. The local drug dealers, that used to serve the locality when we were teenagers. The nastiest song I've written for decades. It is a bit of a warning to people to be careful what you are getting into. This is based on things that these characters actually told me they'd been up to. Back in the day, it was mostly Hashish being sold by freelance dealers. Now it is all part of a very big, well organised business. I lost interest in such things many decades ago. Back in 1986-7, I shared a flat with a couple of such characters. It was no fun.

Wrong - The first song that the False Dots played at their first ever rehearsal in 1979. I think it could have been written yesterday. It's a 45 second long blast of punk anger. It needs to be said. Still. 

Traitors -  The middle 8 was written in 1568, by an ancestor of mine, Chidiok Tichborne, as he awaited execution in the Tower of London, for being part of a plot to assassinate Queen Elisabeth I. I always felt he was a kindred spirit, although I've never really been tempted to assinated anyone. Then again, we don't have religious repression in the UK anymore. The rest of the song, I wrote whilst on holiday in Florida in 2017, lying on a lounger whilst the family enjoyed the swimming pool. I'd always wanted to incorporate some of "The Tichborne Elegy" into a False Dots song. I hope Chidiok would approve. It is very different to anything we've ever done. I like the idea of a song that is in parts nearly 500 years old. Sadly, in this world, people are still being executed. Just not in the UK. Some things are worth fighting for. You will have to wait to hear what it sounds like though. 

We don't live in America. Coming on the 4th July. We hope you like it.