Regrets? I’ve had a few….

 I’m cream cracked! My week? Sunday we had a barbecue with friends & family to mark the closing of Boucherie Gerard, my favourite ever butcher. I will write a separate blog at some point about Gerard, but it was an excuse to enjoy the garden in the Sun. Then we watched Man City beat Arsenal. Too much alcohol was imbibed. Monday? I met with an old boss and a mate from the world of IT, for a beer and then a curry at The Great Nepalese in Eversholt St. Ashwin, my old boss has had a few health issues, so it was great to catch up. Afterwards, I had a band rehearsal. I’d also started to come down with a lurgy. Tuesday, I had meetings at Mill Hill Setvices Club, including a new members meeting, where we welcomed six new members. More beers were had. Wednesday, met up with another group of ex IT workmates and an ex boss.We went to Jamon Jamin Tapas bar off Charing Cross Road. An ex colleague Karen generously bought dinner as she’s just been made redundant. She was delighted and will retire with a big pay off! Needless to say more alcohol was drunk. Last night, the False Dots performed at a St George’s night function at The Mill Hill Services Club, raising money for the Royal British Legion. It was a great night and much beer was drunk. This morning we got a train to Chester, it’s a mates daughters wedding up here tomorrow. We are having drinks & dinner tonight. I normally have three days off the booze a week. To quote Frank Sinatra ‘Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention’

What will the Barnet Council Labour regime of 2022-2026 be remembered for?

 I guess everyone goes into politics dreaming of leaving a golden legacy of success. But you can only achieve success with power. This was brought home to me last night. I was having a beer with my ex boss. He shocked us all by announcing that he had been considering standing as a candidate for Reform in Colchester.  He has always been a Conservative, but I never had him down as a reformer. He explained that he was very tempted as he believed that they have an excellent chance of winning Colchester Council and he fancied the opportuinity to run it and sort the problems in the Council out. It was nothing to do with their politics, it was access to power. What disturbed me most though, is that I know he is excellent at whatever he does, a superb boss, and I'd have put money on him doing a brilliant job running the finances. The conversation turned to Barnet. Another friend at the booze up is a Barnet resident and a Labour supporter. He was waxing lyrical about the achievements of Barnet Labour. I had to disagree, but he was claiming Barnet Council had been turned around and more potholes than ever had been fixed.

The sad truth is that Labour have not fixed the council and as far as I am concerned, their reign has been northing short of a disaster. On the night they won, Leader Barry Rawlings invited me to help formulate a culture strategy. Within a month I'd drafted one and circulated it to councillors and officers. I don't think any read it. Their vision was different. They believed the route to success was to employ expensive consutants, rather than follow my model of building a council of local arts organisations and building a collaborative network. My solution was almost zero cost and would have exploited all of the energy and efforts of people already doing good work. The abject failure of their efforts is best demonstrated by the failure to stage the Borough's biggest festival, The East Barnet Festival in an election year. My focus is always on arts, but across the Borough there is discontent. A terrible scheme in Edgware, albiet a legacy of the Tory regime, but one mired in failure. Labour promised to address the mess that is the Railway Hotel in Edgware. There was talk of a compulsory purchase order. Nothing has been done. Council taxes have gone up, services have not improved. I've not seen a leaflet from Labour in Mill Hill to see what they think they've done well. They do however have a website. Here is there manifesto

Labour launches ‘Ambitious for Barnet’ Manifesto

Barnet Labour have launched their manifesto for the local elections: ‘Ambitious for Barnet’ which sets out our programme to continue to improve services, our roads, pavements and green spaces, back the environment and support those struggling with the cost of living.

Council Leader, Labour’s Councillor Barry Rawlings said:

“The Conservatives ran Barnet on the snooze button for 20 years, with no real vision for the borough, and left a legacy of cuts, depleted reserves and run-down services.

“Labour has been ambitious for Barnet, delivering a far-reaching programme.

“That’s why we’ve filled over 16,500 potholes – 61 per cent more than the Conservatives managed when they were in power, upgraded and expanded a CCTV system that was broken more than half the time when the Conservatives were in charge, planted nearly 5,000 trees, improved or re-built 20 playgrounds and secured 1,000 new council homes.

“We have delivered this and much more, while keeping council tax lower than all our neighbours.

“We will continue to be ambitious in a second term, campaigning for our high streets, continuing to clamp down on crime and anti-social behaviour and building new affordable homes.”

As part of the Barnet Labour’s Manifesto, we are making six key pledges.

1)       Keep Barnet Moving: We will aim to cut roadworks times by 20 percent by charging extra penalties to dawdling utility companies for working too slowly.

2)       Keep Barnet Green: We will protect our green spaces, plant 4,000 more trees and create a ‘Regional Park’, making even more green space accessible.

3)       Keep Barnet Safe and Clean: We will continue to crack down on crime, anti-social behaviour, fly-tipping and litter to keep Barnet safe and clean by using our upgraded CCTV system with tougher enforcement and higher fines, whilst protecting the free community skips service.

4)       A More Affordable Barnet: We will secure a further 1,000 social rent homes, having already secured the delivery of 1,000 new council homes in our first term.

5)       A Healthier Barnet: We will campaign for greater powers to stop the increase of gambling arcades and fast-food shops.

6)       Keep Delivering Value for Money: We will always prioritise finding efficiencies and savings to keep costs down, ensuring council tax increases are minimised.

Councillor Rawlings added:

“These are difficult financial times and, unlike the Conservatives, who cut half of Barnet’s funding, we have worked with the Government to secure £37million more for local services.

“We have a roadmap to financial sustainability that invests in prevention to reduce demand for high-cost services.

“The Conservatives first priority is to propose raising council tax by 50 per cent over the next five years before doing the hard work to keep costs down.

“That’s the choice at this election.

“With a lot already done by a Labour council, and a lot more to be ambitious about, there’s a lot at risk under any other Party but Labour.”

They have a record to judge them on. The biggest achievement Barry can boast about is getting a £38 million bale out from government to shore uop finances. That is not sustainable. They have a record to be judged on. I suspect residents will not judge them kindly. Barry is a nice bloke, but Barnet needs someone who has the wherewithal to sort the finances out and I don't mean by getting baleouts. I mean by structural reforms and genuine efficiencies, which involves understanding where cash is being wasted. My view is that the management structure at Barnet Council is massively top heavy and they have set up all sorts of companies such as Barnet Homes, which have unnecessary boards and costs.  That is where I'd start. 

Stupidity is a much underrated commodity

 The most powerful tool in anyone's arsenal is stupidity. It will win you battles, arguments and even wars. It is only a problem when it your own stupidity. There are two types of stupid people. People who are stupid and realise it. They generally don't cause problems and know their own limitations. It becomes a problem when they convince themselves they are a genius. Stupidity is only really dangerous when the stupid think that they are cleverer than anyone else. It amazes me how often stupid people manage to manourvre themselves into positions of power and responsibility. The reason is because they offer simple solutions to difficult problems. The problem with simple solutions to difficult problems, is that they don't work. The problem is that every time you address an issue, the vacuum that is left is filled and it isn't always filled in the way you want. Being calm and analysing situations and trying to anticipate the effects of actions will often reveal why simple solutions are defective. However, when you deal with extremely complex problems, you cannot predict every outcome of every action. You can make a stab at a guess and work out mitigations, but when you play with guns and you don't know what your doing, you are as likely to shoot yourself in the foot as you are to shoot your enemy in the head. 

But if you are up against a stupid opponent, their stupidity is your strongest weapon.  Even if it seems like the odds are not in your favour, a stupid person does not make good decisions. If they don't listen to wise council, then they are going to make mistakes. Arrogance and over confidence is the downfall of many. You need a cool, calm head. I guess the problem many of us have, is that we don't know how stupid we really are. I was lucky. I went to St Vincents and had a bevvy of nuns to inform me of my limitations on a daily basis. I learned that despite my own limitations, I could succeed if I surrounded myself with good people who I could trust and had good judgement. Usually such people do not seek the spotlight. Like many fools, I actually quite like it. That is why I play in a band!

People sometimes see my willingness to delegate and discuss as a weakness. It isn't, it's a superpower. As a musician I write songs. I like to think I have good ideas, but they are invariable taken up three notches by the rest of the band, when they contribute. It was a principle I first learned in music. What I also learned is that not everyone is trustworthy. When people breach trust, you only find out when the damage is done. Often people who are duplicitous believe they are clever. However, you have to operate on the level of a genius to get away with snake like behaviour over any length of time. Most such people are not that clever. They get caught out and find themselves to be deviod of friends. It is all fine and dandy to curry favour by being sneaky, but only a fool misses the fact that people despise people with no honour. 

It can be dispiriting seeing such behaviour, but arrogant fools are their own worst enemy and when they surround themselves with sneaks and cheats, they are doomed to exist in a level of hell that is grim and unimaginably dull. When you come up against such characters, don't despair. They make mistakes. It is not always pleasant in the middle of it, but their foolishness is always their own downfall. They do get their victories, but their lack of self awareness means they misinterpret the lessons or generally don't even see there are lessons to be learned. Ultimately it never ends well. So if you come up against a fool in life, or despair of those on the world stage, don't despair. Just bide your time and make sensible wise choices as best you can.

So how will The London Borough of Barnet vote in the local elections

 As I alluded to yesterday, for the first time ever as an adult, I am not really taking any great interest in the local elections. I was a member of the Labour party from 1979 - 2009 and then have been a member of the Lib Dems 2009-2011 and 2016- now. I've delivered leaflets, knocked on doors, attended rallys etc. I've always been fascinated. It was the reason I set up this blog, as I felt the Conservatives. were doing a rotten job. I found I enjoyed writing on other subjects and the blog has evolved away from those roots. 

But now, here we are in the middle of an election campaign and I find myself in the strange position where I can find no enthusiasm at all to blog about what is going on. However, I do have some views on how things are likely to pan out. Since the last council elections, we've seen the rise of Reform. We can get some idea of how the cookie will crumble based on recent by elections. Lets start with the recent one in Hendon ward

30 October 2025 Hendon Ward by-election results

Candidate: BAILEY, Gabrielle Louise
Description: Green Party
Votes: 201

Candidate: DAVID, Yosef
Description: Reform UK
Votes: 1,069

Candidate: HARRISON, Lewis George
Description: Labour Party
Votes: 423

Candidate: REND, Ben
Description: Rejoin EU
Votes: 81

Candidate: RYDE, Shimon (Elected)
Description: Conservative Party Candidate
Votes: 1,656

Candidate: WALSH, Jeremy
Description: Liberal Democrats
Votes: 107

Shimon Ryde was duly elected as Councillor for the Hendon Ward of the London Borough of Barnet. 

Lets compare that with the last council elections.

5 May 2022 Local Government Election results for Hendon

Candidate: Joshua Aaron CONWAY (Elected) 
Party: Conservative
Votes: 2632

Candidate: Charlotte Elizabeth DAUS
Party: Labour
Votes: 1427

Candidate: David Jonathan DUNITZ
Party: Labour
Votes: 1329

Candidate: Christopher Jon FORDYCE
Party: Green
Votes: 429

Candidate: Michael James HUGHES
Party: Liberal Democrat
Votes: 277

Candidate: Franca Mina Anna OLIFFE
Party: Independent
Votes: 568

Candidate: Eunice PHILLIPS
Party: Liberal Democrat
Votes: 240

Candidate: Alex PRAGER (Elected)
Party: Conservative
Votes: 2545

Candidate: Mark Richard SHOOTER (Elected)
Party: Conservative
Votes: 2436

Candidate: Janice TURNER
Party: Liberal Democrat
Votes: 276

Candidate:  Viljo George Rafiq WILDING
Party: Labour
Votes: 1018

A couple of points to note. The first is that bye-elections generally have a lower turnout than normal council elections. The Tories held the seat quite easily. I expect the Tories to hold all of their seats and make gains from Labour. 

The same pattern was seen in Burnt Oak, which is a Labour heartland

13 February 2025 Burnt Oak Ward by-election results

Candidate: AKBIYIK, Altan Richard
Description: Liberal Democrats
Votes: 93

Candidate: BAILEY, Gabrielle Louise
Description: Green Party candidate
Votes: 202

Candidate: DAUS, Charlotte Elizabeth
Description: Labour Party
Votes: 1,064

Candidate: GHATEH, Kevin Kishar
Description: Conservative Party Candidate
Votes: 501

Candidate: HONDERICK, Charles Laurence
Description: Rejoin EU London
Votes: 68

Candidate: KHATRI, Sury
Description: Reform UK
Votes: 434

Charlotte Elizabeth Daus was duly elected as Councillor for the Burnt Oak Ward of the London Borough of Barnet. 

If we now look at the 2022 elections, we see this

5 May 2022 Local Government Election results for Burnt Oak

Candidate: Sara Tracey CONWAY (Elected)
Party: Labour
Votes: 2545

Candidate: Kamal Bahadur GURUNG (Elected)
Party: Labour
Votes: 2377

Candidate: Ruth Carline Alexandra HART 
Party: Conservative
Votes: 962

Candidate: Timothy James Matthew Weng Ho McGEEVER
Party: Conservative
Votes: 861

Candidate: Ammar NAQVI (Elected)
Party: Labour
Votes: 2105

Candidate: Rashina SHAH
Party: Green
Votes: 520

Candidate: Samuel SHUPAC
Party: Conservative
Votes: 736

I wasn't surprised that Labour won easily. Their voters are pretty tribal, but I was perhaps more surprised to see The Tories beating reform. It demonstrated the fact that although Reform have a hardcore support, it is nowhere near enough to win seats in Barnet. If I was going to put money on anyone to win, I expect the Tories to take back control. As Labour has not shone locally or nationally and I expect that to be reflected at the polls. Although the Tories are not exactly setting the world laight nationally, I expect a disciplined and sensible campaign focussing on local issues and trust. 

Reform locally has a few estranged ex Tories on their cards. In Mill Hill, we have Sury Khatri on the slate. I like Sury personally, but he was a Tory until they booted him out and since then he's lent support to just about everyone. I am not sure that such candidates ever really have much credibility. He supported the Lib Dems in Mill Hill in 2022. I can't really see how that can be squared off with joining Reform. I suspect that he thinks they will win. I think that outside of London, Reform will perhaps do better, although I will be very surprised if they make they gains they think they will. The Tories and Labour have decades worth of polling data and experience in fight seats. It is all very well thinking that you'll win because people don't like Starmer or Badenoch, but Reform don't have a good story to tell in local government, so I think the big parties will play on the fact that inept and inexperienced councillors mean bigger bills will be rather potent. 

I've spoken to a few Reform supporters of late. I have been quite shocked at how detached from reality some are. It takes a lot of hard work to win elections and you need to know the lie of the land and who you need to engage with to get them out. A few leaflets and bold claims is not enough to win. Of course, sometimes things happening nationally have a huge effect locally, but Reform is polling lower than last year and they couldn't win bye elections last year. 

I am not involved in what the Lib Dems are doing, so I don't know what they are targetting. Likewise I am not close to the Greens. Generally in Barnet, the Greens mistakenly think that if the Lib Dems are doing well, they will. This is a myth. They would be better targetting wards where voters may have issues that the Greens have strong policies on. I think that the Lib Dems may win a ward or two if they run strong campaings, as may the Greens. In Mill Hill, we have a couple of independents running. I think that they have massively underestimated the task at hand to winkle out the Tories. I wouldn't be surprised to see a shock or two, if there are local issues that people are hot under the collar about, but I will be very surprised if Barnet doesn't flip back to the Tories. 

I say that with no glee. They were useless between 2002 and 2022. I think Labour had a chance to do good things and they've blown it. 

Here is the full list of candidates - www.barnet.gov.uk/elections-and-voting/local-government-elections-thursday-7-may-2026/statement-persons-nominated

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The Sunday Reflection #83 - This is not what I signed up for!

 I first started writing the Barnet Eye in October 2008. I didn't expect a lot. I thought that if I was lucky a couple of dozen people would read it. I thought I'd get bored with it after a couple of months and do something else. I thought no one was interested in the rantings of a dyslexic punk rock musician, who was prone to ranting about the shortcomings of Barnet Council, moaning about the absurdity of life and wallowing in the uselessness of my football team of choice (Manchester City, who were a very different beast back then). I was so convinced that no one was interested, I never even bothered to look at the readership stats of the blog. I thought that knowing no one was interested, would make me give up. To me amazement, after six months, curiosity got the better of me. I found that the blog had 60,000 views. More people than watch Man City on a Saturday at the time.

I didn't expect a bunch of other people to be inspired and start blogging about Barnet. I didn't expect National TV, National and Local Radio and the newspapers to start taking an interest. I didn't expect the local government minister, Eric Pickles to compliment the Barnet Bloggers. I didn't expect to get asked to write a chapter of a book published by a well respected publisher, or to write articles for The Guardian. I didn't expect death threats from lunatics, enraged by what I had to say. I didn't expect social media companies to ban me, for reasons they wont tell me (yes x.com, that's you I am talking about), even though they have stated that I've been reinstated. I didn't expect to make friends as a result of the blog. I didn't expect to produce films that would be shown at the Phoenix Cinema, The House Of Commons and The Edinburgh Festival. 

I didn't expect any of this. In January 2008, if someone had asked me what I expected any obituary to say about me (not that I expect one), I'd have said "Roger Tichborne was the founder of Mill Hill Music Complex studios in Mill Hill. He played guitar in an obscure London band called The False Dots and he was married with three children". The whole blog thing was an accident. I am not sure whether it was a lucky one. 

This morning I was at the 8.30 mass, where I normally formulate this blog feature in my head. The gospel today is the one where a couple of the followers of Jesus are walking down the road and a bloke joins them. They chat to him, then have dinner with him. It is only when he breaks the bread that they realise that it is the risen Jesus. I don't really talk much about religion in this feature, but this is one of my favourite Gospels. Not because of the religious significance, but because it is a great example of how the bleeding obvious can be staring us in the face and we are far to wrapped up in our own worries and intrigues to see it. I love the bit where the penny drops as to who their companion is. Jesus immediately disappears. To me it is a subject lesson in the fact that you don't really realise what you've got in life till its too late. 

For reasons I can't quite fathom, the reading made me think about this blog and its effect on my life. Being a 'famous blogger' has changed me. When I read the earliest blogs, I had a fearlessness about my writings. I was charged up with energy to confront injustice and call out people who were not doing their jobs properly. Re reading them, I realise why many people thought I was a bit of a humourless maniac! The local Tories, who ran the council, dismissed me as a humourless  swivel eyed Trotskyite maniac. As such I was easily dismissed. Then, a few of them realised I wasn't. The oddest thing happened. When they realised that I often wrote blogs that were funny and that they were looking ridiculous, they became a lot more worried. When Richard Cornelius became the Leader of the Council, things changed. Like me, Richard had a sense of humour. I did an April Fool blog that really wound him up. He sent me an email. It didn't threaten me, he just said that it was extremely funny, he'd had a good laugh at it, but suggested I removed it, as someone reading it on any other day of the year may not get the joke. Because Richard was polite, good mannered and pleasant, and didn't get riled by me winding him up, I largely stopped poking fun at him. At civic events we'd chat and joke. Often he'd try and figure out who was leaking information from his group of councillors. I suspect that if I'd told him at the time, he'd have been deeply shocked, but if I told him now he wouldn't. I'm not telling anyone though. 

In 2022, when Labour took the council, it was all change. I had expected them to do a lot of really obviously sensible things. They didn't. I expected them to put together a proper arts strategy for Barnet (they asked me to help, then ignored everything I said), they haven't. I expected them start a new era of openness. They haven't. For the first council elections since I started blogging, I have no interest at all in the outcome. The Tories are useless. Labour are useless. Reform are clueless. The Lib Dems are not interested in Barnet. I was asked to stand, but refused, as I am Chairman of the Mill Hill Services Club and felt it would be a conflict of interests.

So what do I want to happen? My preference would be to see a situation where no party or two parties had enough councillors to have control. A Tory/Reform coalition would be a disaster. Labour don't deserve another term. Some sort of coalition where Lib Dems, Greens and local residents would, I believe bring back some sort of focus to local people. Both the Tories and Labour seem more interested in being friends with developers and people simply seeking to cash in on the wealth in Barnet, rather than doing good for the hard pressed residents. I have a personal interest to state. Pete Williams, a green candidate in Mill Hill is a candidate. I've known Pete for years and will be voting for him. I will also be voting for the Lib Dem candidate Charles Wakefield as I am a party member. And my third vote? I really do not want to see Reform get in. I will be voting for Conservative Elliot Simberg. I have known Elliot for a very long time. He is a decent man and has told me that he will never defect to Reform. I have never voted Conservative before, but I am seriously worried that Reform will get in. 

I did not sign up to be a Barnet Blogger to promote a Conservative candidate. However I am not going to lie or seek to curry favour with anyone. I am not going too say Elliot is the best of a bad bunch, because I believe he is a decent man and that would be a lie. We disagree on politics, but I've shared a scotch with him and commend him as a human being and given the choices, that is all I can really say.

And I urge you to think very long and hard about who you vote for. Think about what sort of people you want to run the Borough. Think about what will happen if we have no councillors with any experience. Think about who tactically will give you a regime you can live with. I doubt that many people who read this blog will agree with y choices. But I make the with a clear conscience. 

The evil men are not the people you need to worry about

 I am sorry to say that when I look at the news, it is hard to take solace in anything right now. It seems to me that we are going through a difficult period of history, where being calm, rational, reasonable and honest are not qualities that are deemed necessary for leadership. I'm not going to bother to list the latest examples, because by this time next week, they will be forgotten, swamped under the next layer of depressing news, and the the next three layers after that. A friend asked last night what I thought could be done about the seemingly evil men, who are running the world. My response surprised them. I said "They are not the problem". I have no idea how the current situation will play out. I have no idea what the history books will say (should there be anyone around to read them). I may even be wrong about the whole thing, who knows? I am not arrogant enough to think that just because I don't like someone, they are actually bad and evil. But I write a blog and can only write what I see, through the prism of my own experience and circumstances. 

So you may ask, if the evil men at the top are not the problem, who are the problem. Sadly if we look at the rise and fall of the Third Reich in Germany, the answer is there to see. It is the ordinary man in the street. The man who is normally decent and moral, but who does not think for himself and question what is going on. The man who falls into line behind despots like Adolf Hitler, out of a misguided sense of patriotism. The man who does not see the obvious lies and does not question them. The man who finds themself in a position of power, which they didn't seek or expect, but they find themselves with power over other human beings and enjoy the culture that is emerging where that culture removes the sense of morality that keeps us all in check. The man who is convinced that another human being has less worth, no worth at all or, due to ethnicity or religion, is someone to be despised, attacked murdered, robbed, beaten. the Third Reich could only function because people who had previously been honest, decent citizens, where educed by a cult of hate. 

I have mentioned this before, but one of the things of my formative years left the most lasting impression was listening to my Dad, who was a bomber pilot for the RAF talk with a German fighter pilot, when they met during a friendship exchange organised, I think, by the Rotary Club. The two men, who may well have killed each other without a second thought in 1944, were having scotches, joking and discussing tactics in 1984, in a sense of amicable friendship and a shared experience that few could really understand. Toward the end of the evening, the German told my father, with a tear in his eyes, that the most difficult thing was that after the war, he'd realised Hitler was a maniac and that he was morally on the wrong side. He said that for him, he could live with it, because he was raised in an environment that he only saw one side of the argument. He saw Germany being rebuilt and becoming strong and as a patriotic German, he felt proud to serve in the armed forces. It was only after the war, when he read about the true nature of the Nazis, did he realise that the sacrifice of him and all of his comrades who died was something to be ashamed of, not to celebrate. My Dad simply said "I guess you never really know the truth at the time. I just thought I was doing my duty too". It made me realise that many young men never questioned anything and signed up. Many more were conscripted. In a totalitarian state, you'd have to be very brave to question orders. However soldiers do question orders. In Bosnia, General Michael Jackson defied a direct order from General Wesley Clarke to order his men to engage a brigade of Russians at Sarejevo airport. Instead he went to the airport with a bottle of Whisky and de-escalated the situation. He told Clarke "I am not starting World War three for you".

Good men can stop wars, just as bad men can start them. But it needs backbone and you need to be prepared to take risks. Bad leaders get rid of advisors who disagree with them. All this does is make them into even worse leaders, because there is no one around to explain the error of the ways. The sad truth though, is that there are always a lot of decent people, who don't stand up and be counted. Last week, I tried to persuade a foolish man to see the error of his ways. He opened the conversation by saying "I don't want to talk to you". He ended it by saying "I don't need your advice". My parting words to him were "Well at least I tried". That is all we can do sometimes. I'd rather have a clear conscience personally. 

Rock and Roll Stories #63 - There is no such thing as no such thing

"Jesus, remember me, when you come into your kingdom" Probably not how you expect a Rock and Roll story to start. Don't worry, this isn't a religious takeover of our punk rock stories. So why did I start a story with it? Let me explain, as my first experiences of being involved in music were at our local church. It was the 1960's and there wasn't much on telly then. We didn't have smartphones to entertain us. 

When I was a small child, the Hymns we sung were all Victorian tub thumpers, such as "O Praise Ye the Lord". Proper decent tunes, with good choruses, written by proper musicians, who understood that music should be enjoyed and belted out and accompanied by an organ. Then they decided to have folk masses. Hairy Hippy's would strum guitars and shriek out songs like "Shine Jesus Shine". I hated these. It seemed to me that whilst the Victorians wrote hymns like Amazing Grace, which had proper lyrics and helped fools like me understand spirituality, the new generation wrote crass, hagiographical dirges that to me would only appeal to God if God has a personality like Donald Trump, which I  cannot believe would be the case for an omnipotent entity that embodies all of the wisdom of the Multiverse. I think music should always have a degree of spirituality and should help us make the journey through life. It should either be uplifting, give solace, make us smile or call out injustice.

The Victorian hymn writers understood this. The hairy hippies singing badly whilst strumming out of tune guitars didn't. My first efforts to sing were in Church. I was told I was tone deaf and couldn't sing and so I couldn't join the Childrens Choir. They only wanted little darlings with angelic voices. I felt that my carreer as a musician was over aged 7, so I became an alter server. I had been told I had no musical aptitude at all. I believed the Choirmistress. And then in 1976/7 The Sex Pistols erupted upon the scene. 1977, the year when two sevens clash, blew my mind wide open. Mark Perry stuck three chords on the cover of his "Sniffin Glue" fanzine and said "now go and form a band". So we did. We were were excitedly discussing this in the alter servers room. We had no instruments, no cash and couldn't play. But we could dream. It took nearly two years for us even to get a full band rehearsal together. But the idea was hatched in the Alter Servers room at The Sacred Heart Church. 

There was a hairy hippy with a guitar who used to run a youth club at the church. His name was Phil. He had a guitar and had put a little folk band together. As he could play guitar, it seemed like he may be an ally. So we approached him. We made a simple request "We are going to get a band together, could you show us how to play the guitar". His response was even more dismissive than the choir mistress. "When you learn to play, come back and maybe if you are any good, you can play at mass with us". It was the best thing he could have said. We were enraged. I was falling out of love with the Catholic Church and we agreed that the bloke was part of the problem, not the solution. We realised we had no allies. If we were going to do anything, we'd have to do it ourselves. 

When I discovered the Ramones, in June 1977, the best thing was their mininalist lyrics. This is where the line at the top comes in. This is a style of religious music called a Taize chant. The idea is that you just chant one line  repeatedly and go into state of serenity and calm. It is probably my least favourite style of music. Some of my more religiously minded musician friends get very excited about it, but it has all the elements of music that I don't like, slow, boring and repetetive. 

I'd not heard of Taize chants at the time, but the Ramones took simple slogans and chants and made them dynamic and exciting. As the Fun Boy Three's song says "It ain't what you do, its the way that you do it". As I learned more about music, I learned that hit songs have a hook, some sort of earworm that gets in your head and makes you remember the song. When I first started discussing starting a band, it was 1977, I was 14 and still an alter server at The Sacred Heart. It took two years to even get going, by which time I was a different person.

When we first got the band together, we were sitting in my front room, playing a cassette of our music, celebrating how good we were (we weren't) and my Dad walked in. He wryly commented "Have you considered writing songs with a tune". During that period, the songs were very much just long political diatribes sung over thrashing distorted guitars. Although we dismissed my Dad's comment, we actually took it on board. If the diatribe had a tune, it would be even better. We worked really hard and started to refine what we were doing. 

 It took another year for us to actually have a band that did anything other than rehease and dream.By 1980, we had recorded a demo at a professional studio and played it to all of our mates. It sounded like a record (albiet not the best record you ever heard). People knew we had a band.We were up at the Three Hammers having a beer, it was probably August 1980. We were having a beer and a band meeting to plan what we were doing with the band. The Hairy Hippy who had dismissed us came over. He said "I hear you boys have got a band together, what songs are you playing?". I always try and be polite, so I said "We've written our own". He then said "You do realise that punk rock is not proper music, you should listen to the Beatles". I responded "Have you ever listened to Crass?" (a bunch of anarchists who were very anti religion). He replied "No, I've never heard of them". I replied "Phil, you are a teacher, aren't you. Yet hear you are telling me that something is better than something you've never even listened to". He said "I don't need to listen to punk bands to know they are rubbish". I replied "Let me give you some advice. Get a new job, if you are peddling opinions that are ignorant and ill informed, then you are failing the young people you are teaching, now f*** o**". 

The said individual was a mate of one of my cousins. The next time I saw my cousin, he said "I heard you threatened Phil up at the Hammers last week". I asked what he said happened He said "He saw you with a bunch of dodgy looking punks, he was worried about you, so decided to see if you were alright, but you told him to f*** o**. He is very upset". I told my cousin what actually happened. He said "That sounds like Phil, he can be a pompous pr*ck". 

I was reminded of this when I was sorting out my lyrics and music files. About 15 years ago, a religious friend introduced me to the concept of Taize chants. Although I was most unimpressed with the particular ones that we had to listen to, they did nothing to me, I started to wonder whether you could mix the concept with an ambient track. I came up with the line "There's no such thing as no such thing". It was intriguingly ambigous, and we were working with Connie Abbe, who was a brilliant vocalist. I started charting it out, but didn't develop it. It was a bit of a response to all of the people who have ever disparaged me at anything I've done. In my life, everything I've achieved has been met with doubt. When I started the band, people like Phil disparaged us. When we started the studios, the bank wouldn't lend us money to fit it out. When I enrolled on a TOPS course to get a job in IT, as I had debts, some of my peers told me I was too thick to get such a job. When I was at FCHS, the headmaster told me I was a loser and I'd never get a 'decent wife or a decent job'. When I wanted to join the choir, I was told I was "tone deaf and didn't have a musical bone in my body". When I started this blog, I was told that "no one was interested in the blatherings of an illiterate idiot". People ask me if I've done all of the things to prove them wrong. The answer is no. I couldn't give a stuff what the people who disparage me think. The reason I've done all of the things and done them successfully, is because I wanted to do them and I wanted to do them well. I wanted to do them for me. If I do something, I believe I have to work ten times harder than everyone else, just to be keep level. It is a philospohy which has served me well. If I drop dead today, I've had a better life than I could have dreamed of when the choir refused me. 

But it isn't over. I am looking forward. The best days are still to come. My band, The False Dots are central to everything. They've given me the confidence. Our next public gig is at Nabucca in Islington on Friday 15th May. We played at the London International Ska Festival at the start of the month and got a brilliant review in the Camden New Journal. Never let anyone tell you that something is impossible. 

There is no such thing as no such thing. 

Donald Trump and the Ten Commandments

 I had a very strange experience this morning when I woke up. I picked up the Guardian and read a column by Arwa Mahdawi. For those of you not familiar with her, she is a feminist, atheist writer. What was the subject? A staunch defence of Pope Leo in the face of attacks from Donald Trump. It finished with the comment, directed at Vice President JD Vance, who had supported his boss's stance. She said "I know you're desperate for your boss's job, JD, but I think it would be best for American public policy if there were a little less dictating and a little more morality". Before Donald Trump ascended to the throne in America, I would never have dreamed that such a columnist would write such a line. 

It got me thinking about the Orange one and his relationship with the religiously aligned people of America on the Christian right. There are two versions of Christian thinking, that which I subscribe to that leans towards The Beatitudes "Blessed are the Peacemakers", which was Jesus's keynote speech on morality, which differentiated Christian thinking from the Old Testament philospohy of an eye for an eye. 

Then there are the hardliner right, who take a fundamental view based on the Old testament and specifically the ten commandments. I thought long and hard and then the thought occurred to me, what is Donald Trumps relationship with the Ten Commandments. 

So lets have a look at them and see how Donald Trump is getting on - My observations in Red Italics

1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no other gods before me.

I can't comment on this, I don't really know what goes on in Trumps mind and whether he holds any other Gods in higher esteem than the one mentioned in the Bible.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.

This! One picture says a thousand words.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Being fair to DT, I've never heard him take the Lords name in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy.

This! posted on Sunday April 5th. There are plenty of others on Sundays, but this is perhaps the least Holy tweet I've ever seen by a leader. 

 

5. Honour thy father and thy mother.

I have seen no evidence that DT does not honour his Father and Mother, so well done.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

Prior to the attack on Iran, I'd have commended DT on his anti war stance. Sadly, he ordered the launch of the war and many have died. Blood is on his hands. And he boasts about it

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

DT's extra marital activities is a matter of public record. Why Christian fundamentalists do not mind, I cannot really fathom, but hey ho, life is complicated.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

Greenland, Iranian Oil, The 2020 election, there are many cases of DT trying to get hold of things which are not legally his. Can we give him a pass on this one, because he failed miserably. Many of his businesses have gone bankrupt, leaving suppliers etc massively out of pocket? Can we give him a pass on this? 

Businesses owned or branded by Donald Trump have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection six times between 1991 and 2009. These filings allowed the businesses to restructure debts, largely related to casinos and hotels in Atlantic City and New York, rather than filing for personal bankruptcy. 

Key Business Bankruptcy Filings:

• 1991: Trump Taj Mahal (Atlantic City)
• 1992: Trump Plaza (Atlantic City)
• 1992: Trump Castle (Atlantic City)
• 1992: Plaza Hotel (New York)
• 2004: Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts
• 2009: Trump Entertainment Resorts 

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness.

This! For the record 457 UK troops died in Afghanistan after the USA invoked the NATO treaty to support the Afghan operation, Hundreds of other troops from Nato countries died in the operation. 

 

10. Thou shalt not covet.

One word. Greenland. 

To sum up. Despite claiming to be a Non Aligned Christian, I can only give Donald a clean bill of health on three of the ten commandments, based on the information I have. I will add that a central plank of Christianity is forgiveness, being non judgemental and seeking reconciliation. I really don't like questioning people's beliefs as non of us walk in the same shoes. However, when people start avoidable wars and we live in a democracy, it is right and proper to question their behaviour. I do not personally blame Trump. I blame all of the people who have facilitated a man who is clearly not fit for the job, to become President. I blame all of the right wing fundamentalist Christians who support Trump, whilst ignoring his morality and character. Arwa Mahdawi's support of the Pope in light of the attacks by Trump makes a very important point. I am sure that she has little time for many aspects of Roman Catholic morality, but even someone such as her, who would never be a natualy ally of Pope Leo have a sense of fairness, honesty and decency and can see right from wrong here.

I was raised in a staunch Roman Catholic household. I was taught that the Pope was infallable. When I became an adult, I realised that the history of the Papacy demonstrated that this concept was unsustainable. This is one reason why I describe myself as a bad Catholic. But I can wholeheartedly state that in this particular discussion, not only is Pope Leo right. When people who are critics of him and his church agree, it is hard to argue. Who imagined that a feminist atheist would be defending a Pope against attacks from a conservative Roman Catholic Vice President. We live in a very strange world at the moment. 

Why I believe that Private Schooling has held the UK back

 Why do people send their children to private schools? It is a very simple answer, so that they end up with better jobs than other people with similar levels of intelligence who didn't go to private schools. It is a simple economic equation that parents on above average earnings understand. If all life was about was the accumilation of cash, there would be no problem with this at all. But there is so much more to life. I went to comprehensive schools and was a pretty poor student. Four of my five siblings went, for some or all of their secondary school education to schools that charged fees. It has never particularly bothered me, as my brothers had an awful time under Danny Coughlan at Challoner School. So much so that one enrolled to become a Priest and go to a Seminary when he was 13 to get away. 

I personally always felt I learned little useful at school and the best lessons were in the various jobs I did as a teenager. Much of the time I was working with older men with life experience, who would pass it on, in rather harsh ways. When I started to do 'proper jobs', I soon realised that people who had attended private schools had very different skill sets. They were usually more confident, more eloquent and better networkers. Whilst we focussed on doing our jobs, they focussed on building their careers. It took me a long time to realise why some people progressed in the corporate world with seemingly little talent for the job. One day, at a team drink, the scales dropped from my eyes. Whilst we were all boozing and having a laugh with our mates, one individual was schmoozing the bosses. I actually got on pretty well with the bosses and so I went over. I was surprised to hear that he was giving them a monologue on how marvellous he was. It was quite subtle, but he clearly knew how to 'work the room'. I saw such opportunities as a chance to let off steam with the other members of the team. I realised that I was a novice at the game. 

The team I belonged to had a monthly team booze up and after the third or fourth time he attended, everyone had realised he only wanted to chat to the bosses. It wasn't a tactic that worked in a software company, but over the course of my career I saw the pattern repeated time and again, usually with far more success.

One of the most interesting lessons I've learned in my 63 years on the planet is that intelligence and common sense cannot be taught in a classroom. You can however train people to network, schmooz and be affable. I realised that the reason Rugby is played at fee paying schools is because it is a game that builds such skills. Association Football is a game of mavericks at its best. Now interestingly in the UK it is the mavericks that made the country great. A great example is  Mrs Shillings Orafice, invented by Beatrice Shilling, which stopped Spitfires stalling in the Battle of Britian. A talented engineer who perhaps changed the course of the war, purely because she loved racing motorbikes and understood how engines work.

The UK has developed an education system where the best jobs go to those who are trained to schmooz and those who are clever but denied opportunities to shine are relegated to a seat on the bench. When I was a kid, we were treated to names like Alexander Fleming, who invented penicillin and Frank Whittle who invented the Jet engine. Now the hero's are some bloke who can stick seveteen saveloys up his nose on TikTok. The best jobs, the ones that buy you a £3 million house out of legal and decent earnings are almost exclusively the domain of the public school alumni. What does this mean? That the UK no longer is encouraging creativity, in an age where it is a successful economies USP. 

I don't blame the private schools or the parents. Who doesn't want the best for their kids. I would not ban fee paying schools. But what I would do is ensure the brightest children who are in the state sector get the personal skills to compete with them. It is totally unfair that a top acheiving child at an average schools is behind a dullard with good inter-personal skills that have been drummed into them at private school.

Rant over

Oh Lord, thank you for endowing me with a sense of humour

I will let you into a secret. Well it isn't really a secret, it is just one of my weird and wacky beliefs. You see I believe God has a wicked sense of humour. Now if this is wrong, I may well find myself consigned to the fiery wastes of Hell for publicly writing such blasphemy, but the older I get, the more evidence I see of it. I believe that to some extent we are all victims of this, but most of all the miserable, anti fun religious types. I believe that it was no random coincidence that the first miracle of Jesus was to turn water into wine at the wedding feast at Cana. If you read the relevant chapter, not only was it described as the finest wine, bible clearly states that he produced 40 gallons of it. There are roughly 5 pints in a gallon, so that is around 200 pints of wine.  Theologians estimate that there were around 100 people at the feast, so they each had 2 pints of wine each. Now bear in mind, the reason Mary asked Jesus to intervene was because the guests had drunk the bar dry already. I am not a theologian, but when I read the bible, I often see sections of the bible where Mary reminds me of my own mother. If I had the gift to perform miracles, my Mum would most definitely be getting me to change water into wine. To me, out of all of the miracles, it is the most persuasive. Firstly because it annoys stuck up, miserable theologians, who hate the idea of Jesus and his mates actually having a bit of a craic, I am sure many Bishops over the years have wished it had not been included. But secondly, and more persuasively (for me at least), it shows that we all need a laugh and a bit of fun with our mates sometimes. 

Whatever faults and strengths I have, I have a seriously wicked sense of humour. I get it from my Dad. On occasion, people have asked me where I find the resilience to get through situations. The harsh truth is that life can grind you down, destroy you and tread you into the dust. Often there is little you can do about it. But there is one thing you can always do. You can find humour in the grimmest of situations and I do. I had this problem at school with pompous teachers. They would say ridiculously stupid things, with hugely earnest gravitas and I'd burst out laughing. Only last Friday I was in a difficult situation with someone being extremely unpleasant to me. I fixed the poor deluded fool in my eyeline and I noticed that he had a big bogey hanging out of his nose. The situation was quite tense and stressful. I really wanted to say "Before you carry on, please wipe the large bogey off your nose", but as he got more and more irate, the bogey developed a fascinating life of its own. I was desperately trying to refrian from laughing and I was massively distracted. I realised that as ever, the Good Lord was having a laugh at my expense. I really wanted to say to a couple of people "Did you see the bogie?" but thought better of it, as I am meant to be a sensible grown up now. 

In the early days of the blog, I was always noticing such things at Council meetings. In one blog back in 2008, when then Leader of Barnet Council was getting grilled for losing millions in Icelandic investments, my attention was drawn to his leg, which seemed intent on performing Buddy Rich like bass drum solo's whilst the rest of hios body was completely still. Only me and a nice lady from UNISON noticed it, but we actually chuckled so loudly that we got told off. 

This is a reason I hate meeting "important" people in formal settings. I've met quite a lot of them over the years and invariably I notice something and find it hilariously funny. Whilst over pompousness is the worst thing to set me, there are many other things that trigger me. What is worse though, is that some wicked people know this and take advantage of it. Many years ago, Tory Councillor Tony Finn was Mayor. His chosen charity was Noah's Ark Childrens Hospice. I decided to make an extremely large donation to this, with a bequest from my Mums will. Now I wasn't a mate of Tony's and I have never been a Tory, but I felt that me giving it a bung and blogging about it would help get money in. We have to rise above party lines when doing good works. I contacted Tony, who invited me over for a scotch to discuss it. He was a tad sceptical at first, thinking it was a ruse to get some indescretion, but when he saw the cheque he realised I was deadly serious. We realised that although we disagreed about much, we had a similar wicked sense of humour and he invited me to his Mayoral Banquet as a thank you. I wasn't seeking that, but it was a nice gesture. I bumped into him at a Council meeting shortly before. I said "Don't you think inviting me will upset Brian Coleman?" (Coleman was then a councillor and hated me). Tony replied that it was the best part of the whole thing. He said that he was looking forward to lavishing praise on my generosity and public spirit and watching Coleman choke on his soup. I was sat at a good table with some lovely people. We had a great evening. A week later Tony asked me back for another scotch in his office. We couldn't stop giggling as he recounted the look on Brians face. The next year, Brian was the Mayor and I wasn't invited again to a dinner.

My siblings are well aware of my wickedness when it comes to humour. A few years ago, I had an argument with one of my brothers, we weren't talking. I can't remember why, but I heard that he was going into hospital and needed strong antibiotics. As we both have an allergy to penecillin, I realised that he'd most likely be given erithromycin. I had a terrible reaction to this and despite the fact that we were not on great terms, I went to see him. He wasn't pleased, but I said "Look, our argument will pass, but there is something I need to tell you. Do not take erithromycin if they give it to you, I had a really bad reaction to it that nearly killed me. He dismissed my warning and asked me to leave. I felt that at least I tried. The next thing I heard he was at deaths door. I was distraught. Much as we often argue, I do actually love him. Eventually after several weeks in hospital, he was discharged. By this time, we'd gotten over the argument. We were having a cuppa and chatting and he made a terrible confession. The Doctor had prescribed Erithromycin, but he was so cross with me, that he did not pass on my warning. Within about an hour, he started to feel very ill and was rushed to intensive care. He realised that there was a very strong chance he'd not make it. What went through his mind? Well it wouldn't have been true, but he thought I'd be cracking up laughing at his stupidity in ignoring my warning. We actually had a bit of a laugh about it. He said that one of the things that got him through was he was determined to not give me that laugh. I am glad he did. I have often wondered whether having a sick sense of humour is genetic or learned behaviour. My mother didn't really have much of a sense of humour at all. My father would do his best to get a laugh from her, but after 40 years of marriage, had just about given up. However I think all of my siblings have to some degree inherited his sense of humour and also his lack of discretion when there is an opportunity to crack a bad taste joke. 

I will end with a story my Dad told me, as a night time tale when I was five. A tragic story that exemplified the Tichborne gallows humour. Dad was an Aussie, who volunteered to fly for the RAF. His best mate from Charters Towers joined the Army and was captured by the Japanese, ending up in a POW Camp. They were treated savagely and not given decent rations. After about six months they were near starvation. The Japanese camp commandant had two prize fighting cocks, that he'd entertain his men with, as they fought. One of the cocks broke loose and some of the Aussie servicemen cooked it up. The camp commandant went mad and demanded to know who had taken the cock. When no one stepped forward, he selected a very popular sergeant and announced that he would take the rap. The poor soul was tied to a post for a week, with no food or drink. It was announced that on the Saturday, if no one owned up, he would be shot in front of all of the troops. By Saturday, he was dragged, half dead in front of the commandant and all of his men. The commandant said "I am going to shoot you now, but I will allow you one last request". The sergeant replied "Can I have the other cock for dinner". Sadly he didn't get the cock and the story ended there. Happily his mate lived to tell the tale.  The story was true and Dad said that in his eyes, the seargent won, because he was laughing when he was shot. If you can die laughing, you've won. That was what Dad told me and it is what I believe to this day. Fortunately, it seems unlikely anyone will shoot me (although I am sure you will laugh if they do).