Saturday, 12 September 2026

To understand Nigel Farage and Reform, just watch The Producers by Mel Brooks

 Have you ever watched The Producers by Mel Brooks? If you haven't, you should. Mostly because it is a brilliant and hilarious film (I mean the 1967 version, not the awful, turgid remake). The central character is a Spiv like chancer called Max Bialystock, who is a highly unsuccessful chancer, who funds his terrible productions by seducing rich elderly ladies and getting them to fund his terrible productions. His life is transformed when he meets earnest accountant Leo Bloom. Bloom realised that Max has invented the perfect scam by accident. All you need to do is get a bunch of naive people to funnel a shedload of money into a show. Promise them the earth in rewards when it is a hit. You them make a production so awful that it closes on the first night, to terrible reviews. Because the show fails, no one will ask for their money back and you keep the lot. All you need is the worst script, the worst director, the worst actors and the worst director. You hype it up to the maximum, offer small bungs to unbribable critics, knowing they will be disgusted and pan the show, Simple, isn't it? The only real problem will happen if the show is actually a success, despite doing everything wrong.

Today I awoke to the news that Nigel Farage and Reform had received the biggest ever bung for a political party from a crypto-billionaire. I simply couldn't help but be reminded of the Mel Brooks classic. For many years, when Nigel Farage ran UKIP, he had the best job in politics. He was a Euro MP. You get paid a fortune, you have almost unlimited expenses and you don't have to do any work. It is a matter of public record that Farage never thought Leave would win the Referendum. When they did, he realised the gravy train was over and UKIP fell apart. I don't know who the Leo Bloom character was who persuaded him to get involved in the Reform project, but clearly something happened. The scam is different. The carrot isn't a juicy job in the EU Parliament, it is a much bigger pot of cash, as we seem to be continually finding more and more. Unlike Max, it is not rich old ladies who are seduced for cash (although strangely rich old ladies are the core of the Reform support base). For Nigel, it is crypto billionaires, etc that are to be seduced. The carrot is simple, give us a pot of cash and we will deregulate the UK economy, so you can make even more cash. As we have seen, the cash rolls in. I don't know too much about the world of crypto, but what I do know is that it attracts gamblers, who love a punt and when they win convince themselves that it is because they are very clever. Just the type of character that a chancer like Farage sees as ripe for financial seduction and rinsing.

I first started having my suspicions when I saw the team he has built. The Tories got absolutely mullered at the last election. The one thing that was clear was that the public hated them. So what would be the most logical thing to do if you were doing a Producers style scam? You'd recruit the most bonkers Tories that you could find, the ones that people either turn off the telly because they are so horrible, or keep it on, because they enjoy watching a car crash. People who were absolutely associated with the failure of the last Tory government. Farage recruited former Home Secretary Suella Braverman. It is the job of the Home Secretary to keep the country safe, so Farage picked someone who had completely failed to do so, and who has no self awareness at all. He recruited Nadine Dorries, who was most famous as culture secretary for giving interviews when completely plastered. He recruited Robert Jenryck, a fomer Justice Secretary who again had a record of total failure. Other key figures are rather strange. Zia Yusuf is the Home Affairs spokesman. Despite being a practising Muslim, he is best known for criticising other Muslims. He has seemingly fallen out with many of his colleagues and also has aspirations to be leader. I speak to many Reform supporters and when I ask them who else in Reform, other than Farage, would they trust with the top job, I am invariably met with silence, or the name of someone I've never heard of. Most are deeply uncomfortable with the dodgy Tories that have been recruited. 

Then we move on  to the script. Max chose a script called "Springtime for Hitler" written by an unreformed Nazi, on the basis that it was the absolute worst one he could find. I won't mention what might be seen as another parallel here. Just that the script was chosen because it was awful. Whcih brings us to Reform policies. Reform are riding high in the polls, but this is not based on actual policies, but on the basis that they are anti immigration and a belief that they will 'do something'. Whenever Reform actually make a policy announcement, it invariably is pulled apart within a couple of days and is never mentioned again. A great example is Nigel Farage's commitment to deploy the Royal Navy in the channel to "stop the boats". There were three major problems with this, The biggest is that we simply don't have the capacity to do this. The very Tories who Farage is so keen to recruit shrank the Navy to a point where it can barely perform its basic defence functions. The second problem is that when you board refugees onto a naval ship, they become our problem. British warships are simply not allowed to sail into French ports and dock without permission. The third problem is that the global situation as it stands at the moment, means that the Royal Navy is not set up for this sort of work, large, relatively slow warships are not designed to intercept small boats and decant people in the middle of the sea from them. We would need a whole fleet of new, fast boats that are purposely designed for the task and we'd need to properly train and fund the whole thing. I know that many Reform supporters would love this, but it is not a trivial undertaking. 

As for Farage's economic policies, this is what he is proposing

  • Public Spending Reductions: Proposes roughly £80 billion to £150 billion in spending reductions across public services, government waste, and administration.
  • Welfare Reform: Aims to slash welfare spending by targeting disability benefits, including removing Personal Independence Payments (PIP) for mild or non-major anxiety, requiring in-person third-party reassessments, and restricting welfare access primarily to British citizens. 
  • Net Zero Scrapping: Plans to abandon net-zero carbon emission targets and subsidies to save billions, though critics argue this creates economic risks and lost revenues. 
  • As you can see, there is virtually nothing that is properly thought out and costed. How many times have we heard Labour and Tories state that they will "cut waste and administration". If it was that easy, it would have been done years ago. When they say they will cut public services, is this librarys, bin collections, street lighting? 

    As for Welfare Reform, whilst targetting disability benefits may sound attractive and we are bombarded with stories of people who are on the take, with no real disability, such broad brush strokes usually end uop hitting decent, honest people who tell the truth and missing those who know how to play the system. I believe that if it would work, the Tories (lead by the likes of Boris, Braverman and Jenryck) would have done it.

    Scrapping Net Zero targets sounds attractive to many. I would agree with many that the whole implementation of the Net Zero agenda has been botched. Given that we have coal and gas reserves, I think it is insanity to import these, when we still have a requirement for them for the country to work. Shipping coal from abroad usually in large,  diesel powered ships adds more carbon to the atmosphere. We should have a proper policy to phase these out, but using our own supplies. We should be doing things like updating planning laws to require all new homes to be energy efficient, have solar panels, batteries etc. We should have sane and sensible transport policies, with long term improvements to public transport and infrastructure. But this isn't what Reform are proposing. They are proposing a sudden jibe in government policy that will throw everything into chaos in planning and infratstructure spending, 

    What does all of this actualluy mean? Well you have a bunch of undeliverable policies, presented by a bunch of largely discredited clowns. What could possibly go right? Well the punch line of The Producers was "We picked the wrong play, the wrong actors, the wrong director, how did it all go right?". Springtime for Hitler was a massive hit, so they blew up the Theatre and all went to jail.

    And therein lies the conundrum. Millions in the UK are totally disillusioned with the mainstream UK political parties. Many feel that they are not being listened to. Many feel that the people who live in the UK are treated badly by our own government, whilst the red carpet is rolled out to immigrants. Simply addressing these fears by saying "All of this is just dog whistle politics stirring up a bunch of racists" is not the way that you win arguments. What has actually happened in the last 10 years is people have become bolder about saying things that had become socially unacceptable. I actually agree that millions of people in the UK, mostly those at the bottom of the pile, get an absolutely raw deal. The estates where the Union Jacks went up, where the is no jobs and little prosperity, have been let down for decades. Everyone knows this and no one is interested, the perception is that there are no votes in it. This is the bedrock of the Reform support. If one good thing comes out of the rise of Reform is that maybe politicians will be forced to address this. If they don't we may yet have the nightmare scenario, that I beleive Farage dreads, where he becomes PM. I think he has seen the film and knows the ending.

    The election will not be decided in wealthy areas such as Camden and Hampstead. It will be decided across the country in places like Derbyshire, former red wall seats. There was a council by-election this week and it is quite sobering. I don't know the area, but clearly the Andy Burnham bounce has passed them by


    My view is that Farage wants to do well enough to keep the cash rolling in, whilst making sure that this is not enough to actually win. The crypto bosses must be kept believing and pouring the cash in, it must be credible. It is pretty clear to me that the donation came because Reform are plunging in the polls. Farage clearly said "We need this now or we are f**k*d" and it worked. Whilst £36 million sounds a lot, consider this. It costs 91p for a second class letter. This won't even cover  a second class mailout to the 48 million registered UK voters. Parties like Labour and The Tories have a well organised team of local activists to deliver these for free. Where Reform have been found wanting is in on the ground organisation. I genuinely don't think donations from crypto billionaires deals with this. What it does do though, is make sure that Nigel Farage won't be short of beer, fags and expensive plonk for a very long time.

    The big tragedy of this is that there are millions of very disenchanted people in the UK who have been taken in by all this. They have hopes and aspirations. They think that these very rich, career politicans care for them. I believe that nothing could be further from the truth. The bottom line is that Reform is not properly run. This is not just my view, right wing super pundit Tim Montgomerie said the same thing earlier this week, after resigning from Reform. 


    Where do I think it will all end for Reform? I suspect there is a clue in the final scene of the Producers.



    Friday, 11 September 2026

    Friday Fun and Friday Music 11th September

    As ever, we start with the Friday joke.  

    And on to the music round up.


    FRIDAY 11th 


    Saturday 12th

    Sunday 13th

    Thursday, 10 September 2026

    Rock and Roll Stories #75 - My fool proof plan to make the False Dots the worlds best band

    Back in early 1978, myself and my then best mate Pete decided we were going to form the best band in the world. We had a few problems, we couldn't play, we couldn't read music, we had no instruments, we didn't know anyone who could play, we knew nothing about song writing. But inspired by Mark Perry's Sniffin Glue fanzine, who put three chords on the cover and said "now form a band", we were inspired. We decided that Pet would play bass and sing and I would play guitar. We started saving up to buy instruments, we then sat around working out what sort of a band we would be. The answer was simple. We would be a punk rock band. Punk was sweeping everything before it. We would be the best Punk Rock band ever. How? well we would look at what all of the other bands that we liked did, choose all of the best bits and then, because we were self proclaimed misunderstood genius's we'd make the best band in the world. Whilst we saved up to buy instruments, we started writing a manifesto, because every band needs one, don't they. In May, Pete quit school when he turned 15 and got a job as a trainee butcher at Dewhursts. He bought a bass guitar. I persuaded my sister to lend me her Les Paul Columbus copy. I saved up cash from my paper round and bought a FAL 50 watt amp. It was the cheapest amp in the shop and we could both plug into it and make a horrible noise. We didn't even know how to tune a guitar, but luckily my brother Laurie helped us. He lent us his pitch pipes. The problem was I couldn't hear whether it was in tune or not. But we persisted and practised. We also started writing songs. The first song we wrote was Wrong, which we reworked and put on our last album. It is a 45 second blast of Punk Rock anger, written by two 16 year olds who were angry. It was based on our 'manifesto'. The lyrics "Do you consider yourself a thinking person, or an object for others to manipulate, nobodies immortal, no one's irreplaceable, you're wrong". We ditched its shortly after our first rehearsal, but it sounded strangely current, so we rehashed it.

    We hooked up with Dave The Drummer and had our first proper rehearsal on Feb 14th 1979. In some ways, this was our greatest ever achievement. We had gone from nothing to actually playing our own music, albeit very badly, in a year. We were a band. Were we the best band in the world, which is what we set out to be? One of our mates asked Pete this very question, after our first shambolic rehearsal. Pete was very eloquent and his reply was brilliant "That's a really subjective question, because everyone will have a different opinion". Our mate persisted "So do you think you are the best band in the world". Pete replied "Well it is definitely the best band I've ever played with, it was a real blast, so on those terms yes".  Our mate thought he had Pete "So you think you are musically better than ELO?". We burst out laughing. Pete replied "As I can't stand ELO and I'd hate to play their music, of course I do, but as I said, everyone has their own opinion and until everyone has heard our music, they can't judge". I then butted in "on the 5th of June 1976, I'd never heard of The Ramones. On the 6th June, I had seen them and new they were the best band in the world, until you see a band you don't know".The False Dots next gig!

    I was reminded of this last night. Tom our trumpet player told me that after our gig on Saturday at the York Rise Street Party, someone asked him whether The False Dots were better than his favourite band (The Cat Empire). Toms reply "not quite". When Tom told us, I said "You should have said 'we are working on it' ". The truth is we are. Until I stop playing, that will be my ambition. I love playing my music to people, I love recording it, I love writing songs, I love rehearsing. We have a great mix of personalities in the band and although there are plenty of the bands that do something or other better than us, we have a  very unique energy and vibe. The band have had a lot of members and a lot of different personalities. I think the current one is the best iteration of all. We have definitely got the best songs. I'd love former members Venessa Sagoe and Connie Abbe to do a couple of numbers with us. They were very special singers. We have always been a pretty good live band, but we are far more fun than we've ever been. 

    Oddly, though despite all the changes, all the swings of musical direction, we have had a remarkable consistency of ethos and the plan has always to be the best band we could possibly be, part of that is to play songs that resonate with an audience. We mostly, but not exclusively do original material. hen we gig, strangers invariably come up and tell us that they really like the lyrics and what we want to say. The covers we do, we do for a reason. We started covering "Thats Entertainment" by the Jam, after Rick Buckler, the Jam's drummer passed way. The reason? Our drummer Rambo was inspired to drum by him and Keith Moon (our song Rambo's Rampage nods to Keith Moon and The Who). 

    I've always believed that for a band to be the best band, they need to be invested in their music and believe in it. But they must also be comfortable around each other and have a  laugh. A band is a gang. We are now past the age of hanging around on street corners, but we chat and have a laugh and hang out sometimes. If there was a poll as to what the best band in the world is, I guess it would probably be someone like The Rolling Stones,  U2 or Radiohead. Whilst playing on those stages would be great, I'd hate to play under the constraints they play under. We have a beer and a chat with our fans after, we play new numbers and no one complains that we didn't do ten songs written in 1979. What was the plan? Write the best songs we possibly could, rehearse them properly so we could play them well and engage with the audience. Structure our sets so that we entertained everyone and had a good mix of material. Record the best numbers we had, that had got a decent audience reaction and then do it all again. 

    We genuinely get a kick out of it. Best band? For me yes. The plan has worked. All I have to is convince the other 6 billion citizens of this planet.




    Wednesday, 9 September 2026

    In business, you build success by treating every knock as an opportunity

     Having run a successful business for 47 years, I have had a substantial number of massive knocks and problems on the the way. No business survives if it does not adapt to changes in the marketplace. For my main business, a music rehearsal studio, the landscape could not be any more different to when I started it. Back then, it started as a musicians collective, pooling assets, sharing costs. This model lasted about six months until the other bands I formed it with split up or moved on. 

    It then became a partnership and this model persisted until 1994, when I bought my partners out. I had a very different vision to one of them. The business had been running for fifteen years, but our customer base was almost identical. It was blokes who wanted to have a jam in the evening and very occasionally someone who wanted a rehearsal during the day, usually in school holidays. It was a ramshackle operation, but it made money, because there was demand and no local competition. Leading up to the change in 1994, lots of issues became clear about what we were doing wrong and what we were doing right. I realised that it could be a well run business and grow. I put my ideas and plans to the rest of the partners and one of them was very dismissive. It was clear to me that the only way to develop the studios was to buy them out. Luckily I'd had a redundancy payment at the time and had the cash. It wasn't what I wanted. I thought they'd be excited and realise that if I put a loan into the business to fund it, we could have a tidy little business that had huge potential to grow. As it was, the money I had set aside for the plan went on buying them out. 

    So I found myself with no partners and no cash to invest in the business. Of course when my original offer was rebuffed, I started to plan. When I made the offer, I had already got a new partner lined up. Someone who shared my vision and understood why I felt there was a massive opportunity. At the time of the buyout, we had two studios. My plan was to have five studios, a small music shop and a recording facility within five years. This was contingent on units becoming available. We were just about breaking even with two, and had 50% peak time utilisation.. We also used the studios for our own projects. I agreed with my new partner that all growth would be funded by the business and we'd do the fit out work ourselves, keeping costs to a minimum. We did exactly this. 

    I had to throw my business plan out of the window and start again. But the constraints made us think very carefully about every purchase. Every time there was spare cash in the business, we discussed all of the things we could buy and worked out which delivered the most potential revenue generation at the least cost, or alternatively the highest cost savings. When bulbs blew, we got energy saving bulbs. When we bought amps and drum kits, we looked at what was most reliable and would have the lowest maintenance costs. Had I just gone and re-equipped the cash from my redundancy, I'd not have spent the cash wisely. 

    What was initially a blow and a problem actually became a secret weapon. The financial discipline we imposed on ourselves, through circumstance made us a far better business. When my previous partners were part of the set up, we bought the highest spec gear we could. We actually found that most bands preferred simple to use basic gear. If it was to complex, they'd be baffled. We had thought we were providing a better service, but many of our customers are novices and highly complicated systems just caused problems. 

    The biggest lesson was that every knockback is an opportunity. We achieved our initial goal within three years and within five, we had ten studios, a shop and a recording operation, and we massively exceeded the financial projections, which one of my former partners had dismissed as 'pure fantasy'.


    Monday, 7 September 2026

    Rog T's Cancer Blog - Three years on and all clear but......

     So today, I had my last consultation with Professor Christopher Eden, the amazing surgeon who removed my cancerous prostate.  Going forI am now back under my GP, as my PSA tests since the operation have been undetectable, apart from one outlier test in February, which showed a small raise. Whilst, as with any cancer, there is a small chance it may return, statistically it is unlikely. I will continue to have PSA tests for the foreseeable future. This is precautionary, but these will be GP reviewed. 

    This is not the end of the journey. I will still get stressed as each test approaches. That is human nature. I will live with the life changing effects of the surgery for the rest of my days, but my experience has been far better than just about everyone else I know in regards to after effects, but it is not without a degree of change to life. But I am lucky. The journey started in 2011, with a high PSA test. I had a well man checkup and I had a slightly raised PSA level. This was followed by another one, which was even higher. 

    A biopsy followed and I was told I had a low grade cancer, and was put on a programme of active surveillance (A PSA test every six months). In 2015, it started to become more active and I had HIFU treatment at UCH. This addressed the issue until 2023, when it became very active and I had the prostatectomy.

    I could write a million words on the effects of it all on my mental health. For me, cancer is as much a mental health issue as a physical health challenge. I like to think I am a robust person, but it has been difficult to deal with. Perhaps, for me, the most difficult aspect is that every time I have become complacent, it has become active. I feel like the albatross will never be truly off my back.

    But that is enough about me. As I am in the habit of doing, I had a little chat with Professor Eden about how business is going. He told me something that slightly disturbed me. He said "Do you have brothers and sons?". I have two brothers and a son. He said "As it is in the family, make sure they all get regular PSA checks when they are over 50, as you have a family history". He add "Now the NHS no longer does regular screening, men are finding out far too late". Since I started writing this series of blogs, 30 men have contacted me to inform me that they read the blog, got tested and it was caught in time. If I've done nothing else good in my life, 30 people will live a bit longer and have a better quality of life. That makes it all worth while. So please get a test. I hope you will not be 31, but if you are, that is better than finding out in 5 years time when you start peeing blood and they can't do much for you as it has spread.

    I wrote this song and made the video when I had the treatment. 



    Sunday, 6 September 2026

    Rog Ts Dyslexia Blog - I can emphatically say I am terrified of words

     emphatic

    /ɪmˈfatɪk/
    emphatic | Definition British English - Laxi Dictionary ...
    Emphatic means expressed, spoken, or done in a strong, forceful, and clear way that leaves no doubt
    Key Meanings and Uses
    • Forceful expression: Showing strong feeling or a definite opinion, such as giving an emphatic "no" or an emphatic "yes".
    • Clear results: Describing a very decisive outcome, like an emphatic sports victory.
    • Grammar: Referring to a word or structure used to add special force, such as using "do" for emphasis (e.g., "I do want to go")
    ------
    What is your greatest fear? Well I am terrified of snakes and I don't want to get eaten by crocodiles, but the thing I have most nightmares about is school. I didn't do well at school and I used to dread the end of the summer holiday and the start of another whole year. That is why I hate September. There were many things I hated, but most of all, the very worst bit was spelling tests at St Vincents Primary. Every week, we'd be given a list of 20 words to learn. On Monday we were given a spelling test and every week I'd do atrociously. I didn't know I was dyslexic, the word 'thick' was the more general term back then. Almost as much as I hated the tests, I hated parents evenings. For everyone who got all of the words right, there was a chart and you got a star. Most of the kids had lots, I had none. My parents concluded that this was laziness. I got locked in the shed and told to do my homework and learn my words, I was let out after an hour, having worked really hard at learning the spellings. I still got them all wrong, Now you may think that the teachers should have realised. My brother in law, who is a retired teacher saw a post where I featured a page of schoolwork and he said it would take him three seconds to realise I was dyslexic. For me the whole thing was a ritual weekly humiliation. 

    I am now sixty four. I've written a blog for eighteen years that has had nearly 12 million views. You'd think I would be over it. Last night, I woke up at 3.15am and I was in a state of panic. Why? I had been having a dream, where I was back at school having a spelling test. The teacher said the word "EMPHATIC" and I had to write down the spelling. E-M came easily. Then I started to think is it EMFATICK, no that might sound right but it don't look right. EMFATYC, that's definitely wrong??? Is there a P in there EMPATIC, no cause the word FAT is in the middle. By now the teacher had read two more words, and I was panicing. Then (in the real world), my big fat geriatric dog, who was sleeping on my mattress, also had a nightmare and kicked me and woke me up. I still couldn't remember. The harder I tried, the worse it got. So I googled it. As soon as I saw what came up, it made perfect sense.

    But I was lying there thinking I know what the meaning of the word EMPHATIC is, I use it all the time. Does the fact that I can't arrange the letters correctly make me stupid. I think that one of the biggest problems for dyslexics is that the English language uses ridiculously non phonetic rules and then half the time, it breaks its own rules. I put the dictionary definition of the word at the top of the blog. Look at the phonetic spelling. That is what we have to contend with. I wonder if English was properly phonetic, whether people like me who have mild to moderate dyslexia would cope? The problem for me was it caused stress and my mind went blank. 

    Yesterday, my band, The False Dots, did a gig at The York Rise Street Party in Camden. It is the third largest street festival in London, with over 40,000 people attending. As often happens at such events, people come up to me and compliment me on the lyrics of my songs. After, a lovely Irish lady who was a writer asked if she could have a look at them and complimented me on them. So it seems that perhaps, I have a degree of talent with the language. But I still wake up at night in a panic over the speling of words. What does all of this mean? Well, one thing is that I don't actually like discussing my writing. On numerous occasions, pedants have told me "You write a great blog but your spelling and grammar is atrocious, why don't you get AI to check it?". The reason is because the whole bloody point is to show that you can write an interesting blog without needing to. Part of what I want to do is get the message out to other dyslexics is that it doesn't matter, say what you want to say. 

    I am neither a moron or a genius, although people have accused me of both. There was even a time when a rumour went around that I didn't write my blog, some shadowy figure behind the scenes did. The reason? No one as thick as me could possibly have dug up so much stuff to embarass Barnet Council. The stupid idiots failed to realise I drink with dustmen, roadsweepers, teachers and office staff at Barnet. They knew that they could tell me stuff and I wouldn't dob them in it. Oddly, Tory councillors were the best source of all. The sensible ones. They knew that what I was writing was right and so helped me make the case against outsourcing. Secret papers would get posted through the door. I couldn't say what was in them, but I could ask questions. Barnet Council changed the rules on public questions at meetings as a result. At one meeting, I had the amusing spectacle of a committee member, who had leaked papers to me, accusing me of having received secret papers, which is against the law. He later said he'd asked it to throw the rest of them off the scent. My response "Yes, I have read the papers, but I no longer have them, as they were secret and had to be disposed of to prevent them falling into the wrong hands". The point was that dyslexia was irrelevant. The content was what mattered. This is always what matters. Never forget that.  My parents were deeply embarrassed that I was the only kid in the class with no spelling stars. Beyond that though, it mattered not a jot, apart from the odd sleepless night.