The day I decided I'd had enough of it all

 I've been there three times. Only once have I ever actually reached the point I might act on it. That was only for about five seconds, but it may have been the second longest five seconds of my life. It was 1985, probably around April (I don't think I noted it). I had no girlfriend, the band had split up and I had no energy to put it back together. I have ned bosses at work, who were doing their best to get mey to leave without a payoff. The reason? I didn't have a degree and the company who'd bought the company I worked for didn't employ technical staff who didn't have degrees. I was sharing a flat with a couple of people, wo were dealing drugs from the residence. Money and possessions were being nicked by their clients. I'd come in to my own front room and people would go "Who the f**k is he". It wasn't any fun. Nothing was.  A year before, it all seemed too good. I had everything.  I am resilient, but it seemed like a perfect storm and I could see no way out of it. Some of it was my fault, the relationship break up, the disintegration of the band. Some of it wasn't, the job, the flat situation (I shared a flat and the former flatmates had moved out and been replaced by some dodgy characters, which I couldn't prevent, as I was outvoted). I was also having serious health issues, mostly caused by the misprescription of drugs by my former GP. In short, I was feeling extremely down. 

A friend of mine, who lived in Surrey,  was having a birthday party. I didn't want to go, but I had said I would. I wasn't in the mood to socialise with anyone. There is nothing more depressing than having to pretend to be enjoying yourself, when you are feeling terrible. The train journey was a long and boring one. It seemed to go on forever. I was on my own in a carriage, the train was formed of the old slam door stock. It was extremely hot, the heating was on, even though the weather was hot. I opened the window and there was a pleasant blast of cool air. I stiuck my head out of the window and enjoyed the sensation of the air rushing through my hair. I felt a wonderful feeling of peace. The train was going at a good pace. I saw, in the distance another train heading towards us on the opposite track. The thought came to me that I could simply open the door and step in front of it at the key moment, and none of my worries would exist anymore. It was the most appealing idea I've had for months. I watched the other train hurtle towards us. For about five seconds, I committed to simply letting go and jumping.

Then I thought about the guy driving the other train. If I was going to do such a thing, it would be extremely unfair to inflict it on him. My problems would go away, but everyone on both trains would be inconvenienced. The driver might get injured or psychologically scarred. Am I that thoughtless that I could do that? If I was to do such a thing, surely I should do it in such a way that I upset as few people as possible. If I could have just ceased to exist, and all memory of me be erased, that would be great, but I realised that however you do it, there are consequences. I suppose skydiving into a volcano might work, but not much chance of that in Surrey. I also hated the idea of a bunch of mourners standing around saying how sad it all was,when I was happy with the whole thing.

I sat down and felt even more miserable, then I had a moment of clarity. All of the things that were making me miserable were fixable. I could get another job, I could find another flat easily enough. Why stress about them. The band? Well surely I simply needed to learn from the mistakes. Why did it not work? Why did I lose control of the situation? The answer was easy for me. We needed better songs and I needed to play guitar better. Thats fixable, practice more. Do a songwriting course. My health?  I was thinking about it the wrong way. I needed to make changes. I needed to get my fitness back. I needed a new diet. I had been drinking too much. Then I'd been not drinking at all, as it was killing me, and so I stopped, then I recovered and I was drinking too much again. I enjoy drinking, but doing it every night didn't work. I realised that I was drinking because I don't like being bored and lonely and I hated being in the flat. The pub was better. But it was detrimental to my health to go every night. As for being in a relationship. It occurred to me that I needed to get my head together, before I would feel comfortable inflicting myself on anyone else.

The first thing was to sort out the job. Everything else could wait. I knew the bosses were scheming against me, I had to move first and get security. Then I could sort out the flat. Once I had the flat sorted, I could sort everything else out. Unless I wanted to date crackheads, I couldn't bring them back to the flat. But whilst I was living there, I could practice guitar more. I found a songwriting course, running in the evening. That was one evening out of the pub. A mate recommended a Yoga class, that was another evening, and that would help with the health. I stopped eating meat. I figured that this would make me more mindful of what I was eating.

I had not had a holiday for two years. I decided to go down to Cornwall and walk around it. My bosses were rather cross, they said "You've had three months off sick this year and now you want a holiday". I said "I need a holiday to recover". I pointed out that I had not had one for two years,which was probably why I'd got ill. It was just what I needed. When I got back, I felt recharged and ready. 

What shocked me was a couple of my mates told me they thought I was going down to Cornwall to end it all. They had wanted to come with me, but I said I needed time on my own. They had recognised that I was depressed and in a bad place before I went. I explained that I had been, but that was never the plan. I just needed to feel the wind and the spray from the sea on my face, whilst I made my plan.

I was back. The dark place I briefly visited on the train was long behind me. I cannot even conceive how I got to that place now. The fact that I considered a very permanent solution to what were temporary problems shocks me now. But I also know how detacted and disconnected we can become and I understand how people get to that place. I am genuinely not sure how close I came to opening that door. I would never judge anyone who did. I am just genuinely glad I didn't. Life has been good to me since then, but I couldn't see it for a short period of time.

The day I returned, my bosses informed me that they were recruiting my replacement. I was ready for them. I had a job lined up, it would double my pay, but was with a customer of our company. I told them that I'd go if they waived the "no poaching" rule. They were shocked, I realised that they didn't like the fact they'd lost control of the process. I explained that if they prevented me, I'd take them to a Tribunal, as they were trying to constructively dismiss me. I went.

The most dangerous secret in the world! And it is not even a secret

 "I am going to tell you something, and if you put it in your blog, the powers that be will bump you off". I've reached the point where I am past caring. If I get hit by a number nine bus, or fall out of the 13th floor of a hospital window in the next few weeks, then you'll know that I was foolish. About 2-3 years after I started writing the blog, I was given some 'friendly' advice by an acquaintance. It wasn't a threat. It wasn't a challenge. It was delivered with the bored indifference of someone who has told a lot of people something they don't want to know and who is sensible enough to know that direct threats are not very productive when dealing with people who by nature are risk takers. 

Over a friendly beer, I was asked, out of the blue "What exactly do you hope to achieve by writing your blog". At the time, it was at the forefront of a campaign against several companies, who specialise in outsourcing and supply a lot systems, etc for a lot of rather shady parts of the government. I was well aware of this work, but my assumption was that such large companies have chinese walls between different departments. My answer to the question was quite simple "I think people have a right to know what is going on with their hard earned taxes". He replied "Do you really think if the British people were interested in knowing anything, The Sun would be the best selling paper". That was a reasonable point, but I pointed out that with zero advertising and purely by word of mouth, the blog had built a massive hyper local readership. It had also inspired a bunch of other locals to try and do the same. 

He said something that to this day, I am not entirely sure of the meaning of. He said "Yes and there are some very powerful this people who are rather disturbed by it". I was quite taken aback. I could understand that people in Barnet Council and the local Tories may be a bit fed up with the attention, but nothing any of us was writing was dangerous, dishonest or fomenting insurrection. So I said "Why would any powerful people be in the least bit bothered about what is happening in the London Borough of Barnet?". His answer was rather difficult "You and your friends are starting to lift up rather too many stones to see what is under them, it could all get out of hand.  We'll leave it there". 

Rather oddly, my acquaintance met a strange, difficult and unusual end a few weeks later. At his funeral, someone I didn't know asked me what he had been discussing with me. I was shocked that someone I had never met should even be aware that we had been having a conversation. I played dumb and said "To be honest he was talking about lifting up stones, but I didn't have a clue what he was getting at". I made a guess that he had some idea. His response was chilling "This whole business is rather unfortunate, things like this shouldn't have to happen". And walked off. 

To this day, I've never been quite sure what it was all about. Had he been giving me a friendly warning and upset someone? Was I just being paranoid? Of course what happened was unfortunate and things like that shouldn't happen. He had a very strange accident that I was not entirely sure of whether it was an accident at all. I genuienly don't believe it was anything to do with our conversation, but it was all rather odd. A few years later, I was talking to a friend who had a friend who had been investigating deaths of MOD workers for Computer Weekly. He asked if I was aware of the scandal. I wasn't. It seems that a rather large number of MOD IT workers had met strange and bizarre deaths. He asked if I'd be interested in meeting up with said individual and comparing notes. As I had no information of any use to such an individual and doubted they knew much about Barnet politics, I didn't see the point. My friend was unaware of the strange encounter and subsequent events. I link them, so I declined. I had enough on my plate.

A couple of years after that, I was at a function and I got chatting with a data journalist. I told her that I wrote this blog. She was rather surprised. She was well aware of the Barnet bloggers and our activities. I asked why she seemed so surprised. She said "Oh, I read a lot of your blogs, I thought you'd be a real geeky nerd". I replied  "Sorry to disappoint you". She then said "You realise that a few people in high places were rather disturbed by yiour activities?". I said "I was aware that Eric Pickles liked us". She said, yes but when you have a lot of rather obsessive, highly motivated people digging up everything they can about companies that supply systems at the heart of government, there is a lot of scope for things to go wrong". It is very easy to put two and two together and to make five, but I immediately thought about the conversation with my acquantance, then the conversation with the mate of the Computer Weekly journalist. We were digging around Capita and BT who were big suppliers of systems for government. Now we weren't interested in their activities for central government, but when you start to join the dots and see the bigger picture, sometimes find an image that might scare you to death. Now none of us had anything other than information that was widely available online. I personally didn't see anything that was particularly sinister beyond a rather awful company taking taxpayers to the cleaners, but there were all sorts of information chains, leading away from Barnet, which had we followed them, heaven only knows where they lead. 

I had been given some 'inside information' in regards to the Barnet contracts and processes, as I am sure my fellow bloggers had, but we were looking for things in Barnet, not in Capita's other government contracts, so if I had something 'dangerous' I may well have not recognised it. Could it really be that the most dangerous secret in the world is out there in clear sight, just waiting for people to join the dots? So I asked her and explained about my acquaintance. She laughed and said "In actual fact, I think the powers that be would have been far more worried about the fact that you were bothering to dig and that people were paying attention than anything you might have found. People don't read newspapers to get informed or learn. They buy them to have their opinions and prejuduces vindicated. The concept that ordinary people might find real news from their peers interesting is a very dangerous concept".

By chance, over the weekend I bumped into her again. We were chatting about how the world has changed. When I started writing the blog, the concept of ordinary people sharing opinions and setting the news agenda was a novel one. That was why this blog garnered such a large readership. She explained that Twitter/X has destroyed the concept, not by suppressing information but by swamping us all in the opinions of every one. What is worse is we create our own little information bubbles. You can find out anything you want on X but the way it works is that you are pretty much sure to be wearing your own favourite tint of rose tinted spectacles. Even worse, Elon Musk has persuaded us that his AI bot Grok is the ultimate in trusted source fact checkers. If some dodgy part of government wants to bury a difficult fact, what better way than to release it and persuasde Grok that it is facke news.

The most dangerous secret in the world is there, right before your eyes. People don't need to get thrown under buses to suppress it. We just need Grok (other AI platforms are available) to tell us that what we are seeing isn't true and we'll believe it. If I was paranoid, I'd believe that Grok took a dislike to my cynicism of Musk/Twitter/X and that was why my account got closed, even though they tell me its open. But I am not paranoid and to be honest, I am quite enjoying not having to wade throuugh all the mindnumbing drivel X was dishing up. I just wish a few more people would write blogs these days!

Going back to how I began the blog  "I am going to tell you something, and if you put it in your blog, the powers that be will bump you off" - No one says that anymore, they don't have to!

The Sunday Reflection #85 - Fish fingers on toast and a cup of tea

 I feel lousy today. I've been fighting off a cold all week. The band had a gig on Friday night and my body made a pact that it would get me through it. It was brilliant! However every such deal has a downside. If it was an option, I'd stay in bed all day. I was feeling rotten for the cup final yesterday. It was a blessing that I couldn't get a ticket! I've been a gigging musician for 46 years now and never blown out a gig due to illness. I've dosed up with Lemsips, Immodium, and all manner of other remedies to get me through, but I've always somehow got there. I recall one gig in 1986, where I had food poisoning. I couldn't eat anything, I couldn't drink anything. I decided that if I ate/drank nothing all day, I'd not have an embarrassing accident on stage. Our then sax player asked why I wasn't having a pint. I explained. He suggested I have a spliff and said that would make me feel better. He kindly rolled me one up. I learned a life lesson then. When you have food poisoning, taking something that stimulates your apetite is a terrible idea. I can honestly say that the whole evening was one of the worst of my life. When you've not eaten all day, taking a mind altering substance is not clever when you have to concentrate. After the show was over, I went home and slept for 36 hours. The show was on Friday night. I woke on Sunday morning and felt awful. There was no food in the house and there were no shops open. I got the bus down to Burnt Oak and had a cup of tea and a fish finger sarnie at the Betta Cafe in Burnt Oak ( I wasn't eating meat at the time). I can honestly say that in all of my life, no meal ever tasted better. It was so good that it was almost an out of body experience.. 

My Brother Laurie trained to be a Roman Catholic Missionary in his youth. He left home at 13 and was in the Seminary until just before his ordination, I think he was 19 or so at the time. I believe he did it to get away from Challoner School at the sadistic headmaster at the time. He always says it was the best education. I recall telling him about my fish finger experience.  His reply fascinated me. He said "Have you ever heard the term Hedonist?". Of course I had, it is people who love to overindulge. He said "They are much misunderstood. What most people don't know is that when they had their hedonistic orgies, they would fast and abstain from sex for a couple of weeks before. That way, when they went over the top, it was so much more fun, everything seems so much better when you've been deprived of it for a while".

My riposte was that I'd make a lousy hedonist, as my idea of hedonistic orgy was a fish finger sarnie at The Better Cafe. But in truth, there is a part of me that enjoys such moments far more than swanky restaurants, glitzy parties and fancy cooking. For years, I wanted to write a guide to London's best greasy spoon cafes. Wherever I worked, I always found a proper cafe nearby. When I worked in IT, most people were flush with money and had a penchant for excess and expensive lunches. I like to fit in, so I had my share, but I always had a cafe, a refuge, where I could go and chill out, read the paper and have proper food at a reasonable price. When I worked in Windmill St, it was Lawtons on Goodge St, at Blackfriars, on Buckingham Palace Road, there was a brilliant Greek Cafe in Pimlico, there was a cafe opposite Baynard House, at 100  Lower Thames St there was one by Embankment Station, at BACS in Burnt Oak, it was back to The Betta Cafe, in Pall Mall, it was too posh and I only got 30 minutes, which meant I didn't like the job. I then went to Aldgate and found the wonderful Dino's cafe by Spitalfields Market and Sidolis on Leman St. I was spoiled. I then moved to St Katherines Dock and only Sids was in range. My last job took me to Victoria Embankment. Culture had changed and I struggled. I don't think any of the establishments I mentioned are still in existence. If I am in town, I always make an effort to go to The Little Portland Cafe on Little Portland St. One of the last proper cafes in Central London. Sadly the days of a bacon butty and a cuppa for under a quid are long gone. 

One of the big legacies of that Fish Finger Sarnie at the Betta Cafe was that for me, a fish finger butty is what I always have when I am feeling ill, down and despondent. My missus loves fancy big fish fingers, I prefer the smaller, cheaper versions. The sarnie I had in 1986 was white bread, margarine, birds eye fish fingers and a bit of ketchup. Sadly, I have gentrified it. My sarnie this morning was Waitrose fish fingers, on toasted sourdough, with salad, gherkins, cherry tomatoes and M&S garlic mayo. It was delicious and Mrs T loved hers. Delicious as it was, as the fish fingers were frying, I couldn't help reflecting on that sarnie in the Betta Cafe. My band, The False Dots released a new version of our Burnt Oak Boogie video, which is semi animated. A mate asked me in the week if I ever actually ate in the Betta Cafe. Maybe they felt that being from Mill Hill, I was too posh! But I went to Orange Hill School in Burnt Oak and we'd nip down for a cuppa and a slice of toast several times a week. Myself, Boz and Tim from the Polecats and a couple of other Herberts, would sit doing the NME crossword, discussing the latest punk rock releases and gigs. I think that was where I got my love of cafe's from.By the time I was sixteen, Mill Hill had no proper cafe. The nearest thing was The Wimpy. Much as I loved it, it always felt a bit too posh for me.

Whenever I've been abroad, I've always tried to find a proper greasy spoon. Much to my then girlfriends horror, I found one in Stockholm. It was in St Ericsplan, a poorer district. In New York, there was one opposite the police station. I learned not to go in at shift changeover. The cops would go in for breakfast, and discuss the grisly details of the nights shootings. Not conducive to a pleasant scoff. Of course, Yanks can't really do a proper breakfast. They don't have decent bacon, and they put sugary sauce on it. They don't have proper sausages. They have stuff called 'grits' that is like tapioca pudding. Disgusting. Just have the eggs on toast!

The point I am making is that food is to be enjoyed. It can make the world seem a better place. But it is best if it is savoured in an environment where you can feel comfortable. For me, that is a greasy spoon!

Friday Fun and The Friday Gig Roundup!

Today is a terrible day for the hard core porn industry. It has just been revelaed that one of their top stars has been elected as councillor for the Reform party. It is a dark day for the industry, to discover that one of the leading porn stars has such a secret life. Can you imagine if you are having a nice quiet night in with a bottle of brown ale and your laptop and you are just getting in the mood, when "knock knock knock" and the person you've been fantasising over on your laptop is on your doorstep asking you to sign up to support Nigel Farage? I wonder how many times he knocked on a door and someone said "I didn't recognise you with your clothes on!". I do hope that this isn't a trend that catches on. I must say that there are very few politicians of any party who I'd fancy seeing in their birthday suit. But hey, ho, it takes all sorts.

And on to this weeks local music news. The big news is that two of Barnets top bands, The Silencerz and The False Dots are appearing at Nambucca on The Holloway Road (Nearest tube Archway) tonight. There are still a few tickets left

Nambucca is a great venue and it should be a really great night! If a bit of Ska, Reggae, Soul and pop is your thing, this will be right up your street. The Silencrz feature Madness Sax player Lee Thompson and his son Daley is on vocals! What is not to like

OTHER BARNET GIGS

Friday 15th
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm The Flying Foxes (Covers 60s – present)
Barrington Bar 8.30 pm - midnight Karaoke with Neil
East Barnet RB Legion 8.30pm – 12pm 80s Disco
Maddens 9pm – late The Drivers

Saturday 16th
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm Rockit Science (Rock covers)
Olde Monken Holt 9.30pm – 11.30pm James Or (Acoustic covers)
Lord Kitchener 8.30 pm - late Karaoke with Johnno
The Arkley Club 8.30pm – 11pm £5 cash on door Tommy (ska and reggae)
Toolans 9pm –11.30pm X-Pressions Malt and Hops 8.30pm – midnight New Colours (Soul funk/disco) 
Maddens 9.30pm –midnight The Looters 60s/70s covers)
Cavalier 8pm – late DJ Sammie Vee

Sunday 17th
Barnet Spires Car Park Classic car show 11am – 3pm Boxty
Ye Olde Monken Holt 7pm - 9pm EL-RY BLUE (Americana)
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm Home Cookin (Jazz) (3rd Sunday)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available
Toolans 8.30pm – 11pm Cross Keys

Monday 18th
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) Barnet Acoustics Session

Tuesday 19th
The Bull Theatre £5 Acapella & Accoustic Speakeasy 14+ (3rd Tuesday)

Wednesday 20th
Toolans 5pm – 8pm The Duets
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm Open Mic Night

Thursday 21st
Malt & Hops 7.30pm Open Mic Night (3rd Thursday of month)

Friday 22nd
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm The Bear Pit Band (Rock Pop covers)
Lord Kitchener 9pm – 11.30 The Tailfeathers (70s soul, funk and disco
Barrington Bar 8.30 pm - midnight Karaoke with Neil 

Careful what you wish for.......

So it looks like the gun has been fired on a new leadership race for the Labour Party and by default the Leadership of the country. I have never felt comfortable with situations like this. It does not seem right that the country can choose a PM and a couple of hundred MP's can get rid of them and replace them with someone more to their taste, once they've done the hard work of winning an election. I am no fan of Sir Keir Starmer and I feel he is tarnished by the Peter Mandelson affair. His judgement has clearly been shown to be appalling. The Labour party has not had the air of a party in control of the country or even its own destiny much of the time. We've had all manner of U-Turns and polciy changes. After two years of Labour, no one seems any the wiser what 'Starmerism' is. That is because there is no such thing. It has been forgotten by just about everyone that Starmer became Leader on the back of a Boris Johnson landslide. Most sane commentators thought that following the Corbyn era, Labour would be out of power for a decade. Starmers job was to rebuild trust and convince people Labour could become electable again. 

I doubt that even Keir Starmer thought he'd win a landslide himself at the next election. The truth is that this would never have happened if he wasn't politically very lucky. Boris Johnson's clown like antics during covid shot them in the foot, then they elected Liz the Lettuce Truss and shot themselves in the other foot. Needing to reassure the markets to prevent wholescale economic collapse, they appointed Rishi Sunak, a boring and dull man, who had an air of competence about him. Sunak may have reassurred the Bond markets, but he never convinced the British people that he had what it took. In Short, Keir Starmer was presented with an open goal at the election and even he couldn't miss. I suspect that half of the problems we are having is that Starmer has never really known what he wanted politically. 

I find some of the comments on Twitter from those at the edges of politcs hilarious. They would have you believe that Starmer was personally responsible for Rape Gangs, Jimmy Saville and selling out the UK over the Chagos Islands. Anyone with half a brain should know that the DPP does not make law, they simply make sure it is enforced according to what the law actually is. Anyone with half a brain should know that the Chagos Islands deal was being drawn up for years during the Tory era. Starmer is a lawyer. Sadly the job of lawyers is not to do what is right, but to ensure that the law is interpreted according to the best interests of their clients. Lawyers working in Public service jobs, interpret law on hbehalf of the UK government. They do not set the priorities. When Starmer was DPP and he was presented with the Jimmy Savile case, he was not told "Savile is a wrong 'un, can we hang him?". He was given legal briefing papers that you would need to have studied law to fully understand. He wouldn't have made the rules up on the hoof.

Starmer is a trained advocate. He is not an ideas man. He is at his best when he is destroying the work of someone else. When he has to set the agenda, he is useless. However, we live in a very difficult and dangerous world. Much as I dislike Starmer and the concept that Lawyers run the country, we have Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin on the world stage. Having someone who believes nothing and can talk their way out of anything is actually a good thing for the UK right now. Starmer was right to stay out of the Iran war. Starmer was right to try and cut deals with Trump. Starmer was right to try and bring Europe together in the face of Russian aggression. Who will we replace him with? It looks like one of Angela Rayner, Wes Streeting or Andy Burnham. I am not altogether sure that any of them look as if they'd have the measure of Trump or Putin. It would take them months to build the contacts and trust with our allies that Starmer has. What appalls me is that I can see no one in UK politics who I think would be an improvement on Starmer at this moment. Look at the party leaders. Badenoch, Davey, Pollinsky, Farage. If you would trust them to do a better job with Trump & Putin, the EU, China, etc than Starmer. you are a braver than me. You may well say "They can't be any worse". Look at Truss, who thought that it would take a month for her to tank the economy? 

Want a new PM? Careful what you wish for. What we need is someone who actually understands the UK economy and can rebuild it. Without financial strength, we are doomed as a nation. As a nation,, we've been surviving on borrowed money foy decades now. We are reaching the point where the UK is starting to look like it's on borrowed time. Whoever the next PM is, will be coming in at the most difficult and dangerous time for the UK since WW2. Want a new PM? Careful what you wish for. 

Rock and Roll Stories #65 - The joy of writing a new song

I once heard an interview with Paul McCartney where he said he didn't write songs, they always existed in the ether and he just tuned into the vibrations and wrote them down. He also said that the best songs are ones that it only took him five minutes to write. He said when he had to agonise over them, they always ended up as album tracks, B sides or just discarded. Another interesting thing about the Beatles is that when McCartney and Lennon first got together as The Quarrymen, they wrote and performed dozens of songs, none of which made it into the Beatles reportoire. I'm not  Beatles fan, but I recognise McCartney as possibly the greatest pop songwriter of all. There are plenty of other great songwriters who could take the crown, Burt Bacharach, Don Black and Ailee Willis would make a good shout, but for me, McCartney has such a range and body of material that he would take the crown.

Whenever I advise a young artist on how to write and structure songs and melodies, I start with the work of McCartney. The man wrote Helter Skelter, Live and Let Die, Hey Jude and Let it Be. You can probably learn everything you need to know about writing modern pop songs from those four. That doesn't mean I think they are the greatest song ever written. Depending on my mood that would be 5446 is my number by Toots and The Maytells, Wichita Lineman by Glen Campbell (written by Jimmy Webb), London Caalling by The Clash or I'm stuck in a pagoda with Trisha Toyota by The Dickies. But Macca has such a body of work that you can't argue with him. His songs are covered by all manner of artists, who often bring a whole new slant to the songs, which to me, is the sign of a good song. 

Now I can only aspire to write a song that would be compared to the list above. Whilst I think McCartney is the best, I would say that my favourite is Ian Dury. Dury is a huge influence on my music, it is no secret. Unlike the work of McCartney, the work of Ian Dury is hard to cover, as it is so personalised. Dury writes about the world around him and the experiences he's seen. He is naughty, vulgar and rude at times, in a way no one else can really get away with. But he is also sweet tender and funny. I met the great man, once, in a cafe in  Camden in 1977-8 ( I don't  recall the date). He was spikey and difficult when I approached him for some advice on getting a band together. Just as I was about to leave, with a flea in my ear, he relented and was kind and gave me some sound advice. He said "If you can sing like Marvin Gaye, you can do anything you like. If you sing like me, you have to be the biggest version of yourself you can be and not worry about it".

I didn't understand what Ian meant when I started writing songs. I wrote songs that were highly political, written by someone with no life experience. When that didn't work, I wrote songs that I tried to make dark and meaningful.. That didn't work either. Then the penny dropped. When I wrote songs that documented what I saw in the streets, pubs, football stadiums and at family gatherings, it clicked. When I started presenting songs to the band and they all smiled, laughed and fed off the energy, I realised that this was what was needed. Over the years, my musical ability, understanding of melody and structure has improved and i can do more technically intersting things than I could when we started. In 1985, I did a songwriting course, that was priceless, it still took a while for the penny to fully drop but, the quality of my writing has continually improvred ever since. 

So how do I write songs? When I started, I'd find a chord structure that worked and come up with a load of lyrics to fit over the top. We'd then thrash it out at rehearsal. We got a few songs that were Ok and a couple that were pretty good, but that was about it. Now, I do it in a completely different way. I often do this walking to work. I come up with an idea, a catchy phrase, and just dictate these into my mobile phone. I then whistle the melody, trumpet line, and any other relevent info is captured. When I have a free minute, I listen and play around with the ideas. I then try and get a chord structure that fits the song and reflects the lyrics. This tends to mean that the music style fits the lyrics far better than trying to bolt lyrics onto a riff. I then present the basic idea to the band.

My latest song was written last week. It is called Naughty Naughty and is very much in the Ian Dury line of songwriting. It has a quirky chord structure, a catchy trumpet line and a chorus that is extremely catchy. AS often happens, when the songs is first presented, it gets radically changed when the band get involved. I had intended myself to sing it, but it actually worked better with me singing the verses, Tom singing the choruses and all of us joining in for the last line of the chorus. 

One of the things I learned from Ian Dury's is that you have to make even the most irredeemable characters sympathetic and human. It is interesting because when I wrote the song initially, I realised that I hadn't done this. I thought about the character and realised that there was an aspect that I hadn't fully appreciated, and that became a constituent of the chorus. The song is largely about inappropriate behaviour, but I've learned over the last few years that many people see huge changes in their personality as a result of prescription drugs. A friend of mine had a parent locked up for their own good, after they had a sudden, inexplicable personality change about fifteen years ago. I knew the person and it was shocking and difficult. Last year, I read that some prescription drugs can cause such behaviour, in people who had previously been pillars of the parish. I think it is important to use any platform we have to get such messages out, but it has to be done subtly in a non preachy way.

To me, writing a song is like baking a cake. You take many ingredients, but they have to be in balance. All of the songs I've mentioned above have all the ingredients. Good lyrics, great structure, strong melodies, catchy hook lines and they all take you somewhere else. If I listen to Wichita Lineman, I am up a telegraph pole on the plains of the USA, daydreaming of cute lady with pale blue eyes. If I hear London Calling, I am having a bacon sarnie in a dodgy cafe in Hammersmith in 1979 in the pouring rain.  Will Naughty Naughty do that when we record it? Will it transport the listener back to 1976 and doing a paper round in the rain? Only time will tell. It is probably the most controversial song I've written, but as it's a boppy ska song, that may be missed. We shall see. All I can say at the moment is that I am delighted with it and I look forward to performing it on Friday at Nambucca, Please come along. Tickets can be procured here - https://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/London/Nambucca/The-Silencerz-vs-The-False-Dots--DJ-Rebska/42323301

I won an election last week!

 A few people asked me why I didn't run for Barnet Council at the recent council elections. The reason was very simple and I did mention it briefly. In October, I became Chairman of the Mill Hill Services Club, when the former Chairman stood down. The club has elections for such positions every May, but if a Chairman steps down in the intervening period, the vice chairman assumes the position. As the Vice Chairman also stood down, the committee elected me as acting Chairman. I made the decision to seek another term, as there is plenty to do and I felt I had much to offer. The club has over 650 members and each has a vote. Often, in the past, Chairmen have not been opposed, but another member chose to also put their name forward. I was delighted that I won. The result was announced on Sunday. I was pleased to get a large majority. I was also pleased that the members of the committee who stood again for election also were re-elected. They are all good guys and deserved to get another term.

I did want to share with you how pleased I am to be elected. It is an important achievement for me. But that is not the main reason I am posting this. For me, there is a far more important point to be made. The post of Chairman of the club is an unpaid role. I am also the chair of a local educational charity, which is a very different beast. Both are very different roles but each is important in their own way. But the point is that if people do not step up and join committees and take responsibility for local community organisations, they will cease to exist. World events such as covid and the increase in fuel costs mean huge challenges for many organisations. You can be doing a great job and then find that there is a major world event and the balance sheet shifts and there is nothing you can do about it in the short term. 

You need good people, who are calm and rational and can make sound decisions based on the facts as best they can be ascertained. Being able to read and understand a balance sheet helps. Keeping calm when people gets cross is another asset. Committee meetings for community organisations can get surprisingly heated, as people often have vastly different ideas of what needs to be done. I always take the view that people should be listened to and their comments respected, even if you disagree. You should be able to explain why you disagree to them clearly and concisely, whilst being polite. 

If you think you can do all of those things, then I would strongly urge you to give your time and talents to local organisations. I've been a member of the Mill Hill Music Festival organising commiteee for over 20 years. It can be fraught, but the good it brings to our local community is something I will always be proud of. We have had some wonderful artists performing and I am proud to be associated with the Festival. I've been a committee member at the Services Club for about five years and Chairman for just over six months. We have done some great things and had some wonderful events, which help the finances. But most of all, the club opens its doors every day and gives the members who live in Mill Hill somewhere to go and meet friends, play Snooker/Pool/Darts, have a drink in a comfortable and peaceful environment at a price lower than local pubs, and as all members are co-owners, feel part of something. The club is part of the CIU, which is the Cooperative movement, which is one of the biggest drivers of social good in the UK. Such things are worth preserving. So just a little request, if there is a community organisation that is doing good works and you have a bit of free time, why not get involved and help them out. One thing I've learned is that the most important people in any organisation are not the executives or the chair's. It is the ordinary people who do all of the heavy lifting, usually for little or no thanks. One thing I've always tried to do, is show some appreciation to such folks.

Barnet Council Election Result - Every Party got what they really deserved in the end

 So Barnet Council is now a hung council. The Tories and Labour are tied on 31 seats each and one Green councillor holds the balance of power. I foresaw Labour losing control, but not in the way they have! I thought the Tories would win, but I also felt that no party deserved victory. All parties clearly thought Mill Hill Ward was as done deal for the Tories and none bothered to do any work. I have no idea what it was like in marginal wards. The truth is that we had 20 years of Tory misrule in Barnet, followed by four years of incompetence from Labour. Neither party has given a stuff about residents. I hav e my reservations about The Green Party, but at least they have a clear position on many issues and are not afraid to upset people, which is actually something politicians should be prepared to do. In many parts of Barnet, their stance on Israel and Palestine is deeply unpopular with the Jewish community. That doesn't mean that the Greens should not make their case. I believe that what they have to say is legal and just because it upsets people doesn't mean they shouldn't say it. I feel the same way about much of what Reform says about immigration. If you disagree with a party, work to defeat them and use rational argument rather than bans. 

The Greens did work in their target wards and their share of the vote in Barnet was far more than 1 out of 63 councillors. That is the trouble with our voting system and our council system. It has contrived to deliver a result where the most powerful single councillor is from a party with one seat but maybe 15% of the vote. Lib Dem and Reform voters have no representation at all. Tories and Labour have around 49% of the councillors with around 25-30% of the vote. It is utterly ridiculous that we have 62 nodding dog councillors towing the party line. and one who can call all the shots. I hate Reforms policies but it is not democratic to deny their voters representation due to an outdated and arcane system.

As far as I am concerned, every party got what they deserved in the end. Labour lost control, for four rotten years and a lousy campaign. The Tories didn't get back in after 20 years of misrule. The Greens got a seat because they had a strategy for their target seats and it worked. Reform had no strategy and nothing to offer Barnet so they got nothing. My party, The Lib Dems hardly bothered to do anything and got nothing. I didn't stand this time, as I am chairman of The Mill Hill Services Club and felt it was a conflict of interest. I didn't support the Mill Hill Residents Association candidates for the same reason. The Association is not political. If they'd have won, they would have potentially held the balance of power and deciced whether Mill Hill had a Tory or Labour adminstration and you can't get any more political than that. 

Have a nice weekend. I'm done with local politics for a while now. 

Friday Fun and local music round up 8th May 2026

 As is the tradition in Barnet Blogs (well this one at least), we start with a Friday Joke. I suspect a few of us will need cheering up today. This time four years ago, I was recovering from staying up all night at the election count. This time I didn't stand. As it became clear that the Tories had lost by a landslide, I saw one of their councillors at the tea stall. He looked dejected, having just found out he'd lost. He's a nice bloke, so I got him a cup of tea and had a chat. 

As we chatted, he said "I genuinely didn't expect Labour to win, in fact I was so confident that I promised my wife we'd go on three week cruise around the Bahamas if I didn't get in".

I commisserated and said "Well at least you've got something to look forward to now, a few weeks in the Sun to chill out, it'll be great".

He looked at me with a forlorn look "You don't understand, I hate boats I only have to look at one and I get sea sick, I only said it because I thought it wouldn't happen, now I'm lumbered. It'll cost a fortune and I'll hate it".

I never did ask how it all went.

And on to the round up of local music. First of all some news! The False Dots have re-released their 2022 mini hit "The Burnt Oak Boogie" video, rebuilt with AI to transform Burnt Oak into the world of 60's cartoon series Top Cat.

And even better, The band will be appearing at Nambucca in Islington next Friday 15th May from around 8pm. Click image for full details

Founded by Lee Thompson of Madness, The Silencerz deliver their unique brand of reggae-ska-pop to an ever-growing and loyal fan base. Their live shows blend crowd-pleasing covers with much-loved originals, drawing from influences like Ian Dury, Madness, and Prince Buster. The band have had headline shows at the famous 100 Club, Camden’s Dublin Castle and most recently at the Madness House of Fun weekender in Minehead. follow them on Facebook atwww.facebook.com/TheSilencerz

DJ Rebska - North West London's top Ska DJ, long time collaborator with Lee Thompson of Madness, festival favourite and purveyor of the finest Ska tunes, with the odd smattering of Northern Soul thrown in for good measure. Sure to get you on your feet!

Rock and Roll Stories #64 - I don't get why some musicans are such miserable gits!

 Throughout the entire 47 years history of The False Dots, there has been one constant. We have had an absolute blast. It has been fun. Since our earliest gigs, we broke rules, did silly things and got up to shenanigans. We've done so many silly things, that I've probably forgotten half of them. It hasn't stopped. Recently we distributed footballs at a gig, during Saturday, pir football song, at The Dublin Castle, we distrbuted football to the audience, with disasterous consequences. Balls kicked, beers flying. Glass everywhere. It was hilarious, but our residency nearly came to an end! Luckily we've been forgiven. It's not just at gigs. Rehearsals, recording sessions and even trips to the cafe and pub have been a blast.

It has always been important for me for us to be a band. More than a bunch of musicians who just play together. The band is like a symbiotic organism, with all of the members at any time being important and having a role to play. But one question has always troubled me. Why are so many other bands such miserable gits. So many seem to hate each other, have rivalries and disputes. They turn up for gigs and are back out the door almost when the gig finishes. We always hang around, talk to fans, watch other bands, and have a blast. We are as serious as anyone about our music, but it is done in a context of fun. 

I think so many bands miss a trick. One of the secrets of our success is that we've always built alliances and made friends. Our next gig at Nambucca is on Friday week (15th May). Click here for tickets. It is with our mates The Silencerz. We love playing gigs with mates. Come down it will be fun

Anyway, we've found a new way to have a laugh. We used AI to generate a video which transformed our 2022 hut video, The Burnt Oak Boogie into an episode of Top Cat, set in Burnt Oak, with references from the old video for comparisson. We think its a hoot! CHeck it out