The real America? I grew up in awe of the USA. AS a kid, I loved the technology of the Apollo moonshots and NASA and I wanted to be American. I believed that America was the land of the free, the land of opportunity. The land where you went if you wanted a good life. When I was 14, I saw the Ramones. The face of New York nihilistic punk rock and I was smitten. The Ramones seemed out of kilter with my idealised view of the USA. It wasn't all sunshine and bubblegum. I was intrigued. I became obsessed with underground American music. On the recommendation of my eldest brother Laurie, I borrowed his copy of "Electric music for the mind and body", the debut album by West Coast psychedelic legends Country Joe and The Fish. It was an eye opener. The sharpness of Country Joes songwriting was impossible for me not to love. The album is an absolute classic. I was intrigued and went out and bought the second album "I feel like I'm fixing to die". The title track is an anti war anthem.
Yeah, come on all of you, big strong men
Uncle Sam needs your help again
He's got himself in a terrible jam
Way down yonder in Vietnam
So put down your books, pick up a gun
Gonna have a whole lot of fun
And it's 1, 2, 3
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Vietnam
And it's 5, 6, 7
Open up the pearly gates
Ah, ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! We're all gonna die
Well come on generals let's move fast
Your big chance has come at last
Gotta go out, get those reds
The only good commie is the one that's dead
And you know that peace could only be won
When we've blown them all to kingdom come
And it's 1, 2, 3
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Vietnam
And it's 5, 6, 7
Open up the pearly gates
Ah, ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! We're all gonna die
Well come on Wall Street don't move slow
Why man, this is war-a-go-go
There's plenty good money to be made
By supplying the Army with the tools of the trade
Just hope and pray that if they drop the bomb
They drop it on the Viet Cong
And it's 1, 2, 3
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Vietnam
And it's 5, 6, 7
Open up the pearly gates
Ah, ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! We're all gonna die
Well come on mothers throughout the land
Pack your boys off to Vietnam
Come on fathers don't hesitate
Send them off before it's too late
Be the first one on your block
To have your boy come home in a box
And it's 1, 2, 3
What are we fighting for?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Next stop is Vietnam
And it's 5, 6, 7
Open up the pearly gates
Ah, ain't no time to wonder why
Whoopee! We're all gonna die
Is there a better anti war song? Is there another one that covers all of the bases? I had the honour and privelige of seeing Country Joe several times in the 1980's. The one time which really stuck with me, was at Dingwalls in the middle of the Falklands war. Joe gave a short lecture on why war was a bad thing. A heckler launched a tirade about him being a commie. Joe calmly responded that he'd been in Korea with the US army and seen the futility of it all. He also pointed out the money he'd raised for veterans causes, when the government was not interested. Of all the artists I've seen and I've seen a lot, none had the moral integrity of Joe.
He was an old man and he had Parkinsons, so it is not the tragedy of a young mans passing. But the world and the USA in particular needs more Country Joe McDonalds. A decent man. A man of courage and principle. I am glad I saw him. There are a few songs that I wish I was talented enough to write. The fish cheer is very near the top. The False Dots Action Shock was my attempt to do a song in that style, thank you for the inspiration Joe.
"If we abolished all religions, there would be no more wars". I've heard this said many times. It is one of the biggest lies of all. Take the current conflict in Iran. On the face of it, it is primarily a clash between Judaism and Islam, isn't it? No it isn't. Jews and Muslims lived side by side in the Middle East for a thousand years with no real problems. Islam recognises Judaism as a religion of the book. The reason that we have a conflict and the Americans have got involved is because some of the worlds largest oil deposits are in the Middle East. There are far worse regimes in the world than the Iranian one. I am not stupid enough to think that the current Iranian regime are good guys and I shed no tears for their leader when he was blown to bits. But ultimately the reason that there is a conflict is because of the wealth of natural resources in Iran and also their strategic location in the gulf, where much of the worlds shipping passes through. I understand the US not wishing Iran to have nuclear weapons. I suspect that if North Korea didn't already possess them, they might be being bombed as well. Wars start because of the strategic interests of the warring nations. Nazi Germany started WW2 to secure resources. Hitler believed that the USSR had oil and land that he believed would make Germany a Superpower. His problem was that GReat Britain and France wouldn't accept his invasion of Poland. When he believed they were beaten, he attacked the USSR. In short, it was not about religion. Until nations don't have strategic interests, we will have wars.
So does that mean that I think organised Religion is a wonderful thing? No actually I don't. I do attend church and I do believe. I do however have massive reservations about the way our religious organisations conduct their business. I find it vaguely amusing listening to the various readings from the Bible, where the words totally contradict the behaviour of the organisation that are hosting the services. For me, this isn't an issue that affects my system of belief. It is, in my opinion, just the way human beings are. Of the human race, about 5% of us are simply obsessed with power and control. Most people just want a quiet, peaceful and happy life. But the 5% want to run the show, have the trappings of wealth and push other people around. Some go into politics, some become Headmasters at schools, some become Police and Judges, some become Bishops, Rabbis and Mullahs. Just to clarify, I think most people who do those things are not power mad lunatics and do a great job. But all of those things are attractive to people who want to possess some sort of power.
The problem for me with religion, which sets it apart from the rest of the list is that in Religions, there is no proper oversight. There is no HR department overseeing Bishops etc and sacking them when they cover up child abuse and other criminal activities.
Last night, I went to see my wifes band play at a lovely Church near Paddington. My eyes were drawn to a statue of a Bishop. I am sure he was a very fine Bishop. He was depicted in a glorous purple robe, with gold brading. His outfit was fabulous. He was holding a cross in front of him. I then looked at the image of Jesus, in a simple robe, on the cross. Jesus is never depicted in fine robes of purple and gold. As the utimate head of the Church, you'd think Bishops may be tempted to follow his example and not 'bling up'. But that doesn't really seem to be how such things work.
What draws me to my faith is the fundamental message of non violence, caring for those less well off and trying to do the right thing. It took me a very long time to see past the problems with the organisation.
I am not ashamed to say that I am and always have been a lover of TV cartoons. If I could draw and was clever, I may well have been an animator. My nephew, Chris Tichborne is a BAFTA winning animator. I don't know whether it was an influence on him or not, but when he was a kid, I'd always encourage him to read comics, watch cartoons and be artistic. When he was at Uni studying 3D animation at Uni he lived at my house for a while. Whilst some may see creative industries as not a proper job, I've always recognised the importance of such industries. If you have a real talent and you are prepared to work hard, then like Chris you will get on. With the advent of AI, talentless plebs like me can make our own animated videos. Whilst Chris's forte is stop motion animation, I have always been fascinated by the classic cartoons of Hanna-Barbara and the like.
AI is a subject which fascinates me. I decided to bite the bullet, sign up for a sophisticated AI tool and use it to make a video for my band The False Dots new single.. The single is called Big Hairy Spider. It is based on a terrible nightmare I had when I was sixteen, about a rather luscious beauty who lived up the road from us. I had been reading horror comics and it morphed into a nightmare dream. I wrote the song, but my then bandmate and song writing partner deemed it "too stupid and pathetic for the False Dots". It say in the unused lyrics tin until recently. It suits the current incarnation of the band rather well. It also lent itself to being transformed into a 60's style TV cartoon. Now you will have to wait until next Sunday to see it, as that is the official launch, but I had a few credits left in the AI app, so I made a trailer for our next gig (Next Sunday at the Dublin Castle, click for details), which you can see here!
Who knows, as I approach 64, maybe a new career beckons (although I doubt it).
2. Surgeon.
This will probably make you laugh. When I was at school, I didn't actually realise how thick I was! I thought I was a genius. There was just the slight matter of my appalling grades. I didn't know it then, I hadn't been diagnosed, but it should have been obvious to all that I was dyslexic. I harboured ambitions to be a surgeon. The reason was pretty simple. My Mum's life had been saved by a wonderful surgeon, called Mr Phillip King at St John and St Elizabeth's hospital, in 1970 when she had cancer. I wanted to save peoples lives. Sadly, to become a surgeon, you need straight A grades. That simply was never going to happen.
I read this week, that a man had a robotic radical prostatectomy in Gibraltar, where the robot was controlled by a surgeon in London. AI is absolutely revolutionising medicine. AI can spot cancers that doctors would have otherwise missed. Robotic surgery is becoming more commonplace. Where is it all leading? Will we ever reach the point, where someone like me would be able to press the button and do radical prostatectomies via AI controlled robots on myself? Fifty years ago, large companies had mainframe computers. They needed dozens of technicians to run them to do tasks that an Excel spreadsheet can do on your phone now.
Imagine a scenario, where you turn up at a hospital, get an MRI scan, and AI diagnoses prostate cancer, so you walk down the corridor and a fully robotic ward, where you are weighed, your vitals taken and knocks you out and a robot removes your prostate. All you need is a nurse to make sure you are comfortable and a team on standby, if something unforeseen happens. You just press the button to agree to the procedure.
I'm pretty good with IT and computers, who knows maybe I could operate a robotic surgeon tool? I am not sure I want to, but it is not beyond the realms of possibility that a whole new career could open up for many. As for the wonderful surgeons, such as Mr Phillip King and my own cancer surgeon Dr Christopher Eden, there will always be a need for people at the top, who make sure the process continues to improve. I suspect that the job of a surgeon will be very different in 25 years time.
3. TV Chef.
I love cooking. I love showing off (which is why I sing in a Ska band). When I was 20, a mate of a mate worked in a kitchen in a top hotel. He was a brilliant chef. I was out of work and needed some temporary work to see me through. He got me a weeks work in the kitchen, as someone was off ill. What could be easier than peeling spuds and washing up? I have to say that of all the jobs I've ever had, it was the most punishing and brutal. It was absolutely non stop, unrelenting and punishing. Every plate has to be perfect. Every potato peeled properly. Nothing could leave the kitchen until it was right, but everything had to be done immediately. I was the bottom of the pile. I have never been sworn at so much. When I watched the chef's work, I was in awe. How the hell could they remember all of the stuff they need to do? But after a week, I'd learned enough so that when I cook Xmas dinner for 25 people it doesn't phase me. Much as I would love to be a top chef, it is just too hard. You need to know all about everything on the menu. Is the produce fresh? Is the oven the right temperature? Is there enough salt and pepper in the kitchen? Is the customer justified saying the steak is undercooked when they asked for rare? But, there is a new type of chef (well not that new). It is the TV chef. The TV chef has no one yelling at them. No customers moaning because there is no gluten free pie option. They just make videos and write books about cooking delicious food and they make millions. Whilst there is no way I could ever be a real chef in a commercial kitchen, I have some great. recipes. With AI video production tools, maybe I could make a few Youtube cooking videos and see if a lucrative career awaits me. I have a bit of a different spin on the TV chef. I am going to make a couple of videos and see if it works. You will think I'm bonkers when you see it!
4. Architect.
Buildings fascinate me. I know the names of the architects of all of my favourite buildings. I know the name of the architect of all of my favourite London buildings. St Pauls -Christopher Wren. St Pancras Hotel - Gilbert Scott. St Pancras train shed - William Barlow. The Post Office Tower - Eric Bedford and G R Yates.The Shard - Renzo Piano. All these men were masters of their art. I worked in an office on Park St, near Borough Market. I watched The Shard being built, I had a view of it from my desk. If I looked the other way, I saw St Pauls. When I was at school, I did building studios and did projects about the building techniques used for St Pauls, St Pancras and The Post Office Tower (as it was then). The sheer logistics of such difficult buildings being built was mind boggling. If you design a building, you need to know you can actually source the materials and get them to the site. Imagine the challenge for St Pauls and Wren? Only barges, horses and carts.
But now, with AI, anyone can design a reasonably decent building. But..... Now this is what really fascinates me. I am a musician. Over the years, there are places I love to play, because Rock and Roll works well in them. Then there are other venues where it simply doesn't work at all. People may come and have a great night, but it simply doesn't feel like a gig in the same way. The job of an architect is to ensure that a space is fit for purpose. I've actually worked with architects and designers to build studios. I think we did a good job at Mill Hill Music Complex. But there are so many venues that just don't work. I'd love to build a proper music venue from scratch. In the world of church design, there is a word called Numinous that means the amount of spirituality a religious space exudes. It is something many historic churches exude and new ones often don't. I have realised that a similar concept exists for rock and roll spaces. There are local pubs that put on great bands, but I have no desire to play at,because the space is simply not "rock and roll" in its feel.
I'd love to take all of the lessons I've learned from 47 years in a band to make the best venue ever. If you are a millionaire and you want to be part of something great musically, get in touch! I am not an architect, but I believe that with AI and a little help from my friends, we could build the best small venue in the world!
5. Bomber Pilot.
My Dad was an RAF bomber pilot in World War II. He flew Wellington Bombers for 40 squadron and flew 40 combat missions, getting shot down on his last one. He was held a POW and escaped. He was an officer, having passed out with the highest grades in his intake at the Royal Australian Air Force training centre. When I was a kid, I wanted to be like my Dad. I dreamed of flying bombers and winning the war. Dad didn't encourage me. In fact, the opposite. He told me I was too thick to pass the exams needed. He also felt that I was too indisciplined and unruly for a career in the forces. He said that the RAF works because people follow orders and don't question their officers. He reckoned I could start an argument with myself in a phone box. By the time I was about 14, I was into punk rock and rejected the notion of war. I joined CND, which confirmed to my Dad that I was a naïve idiot, who understood nothing about the world. He also simply couldn't understand why I had no real interest in travel or learning to drive and fly planes. I learned to drive when I was 29, long after he passed away. After the age of nine or ten, I lost all interest in being a bomber pilot. As I approach 64, it would be sensible to assume that the ship sailed a long time ago. However, with AI and the advent of drones, it occurred to me, that anyone can fly a drone. You don't need to be fit, have perfect eyesight or risk getting blown to bits by anti aircraft fire. Theoretically I could fly a drone from my front room and drop bombs on people. Now it is actually the last thing I want to do. But it is possible. I wish my Dad was alive to discuss this with. I think the technology would fascinate him.
Well lets follow the Barnet Blog tradition and start with a joke! Once again, thanks to that fine purveyor of Dad jokes, Robert Wilkinson. This is the sort of joke my Dad loved BTW!
My friend says he's studying forensics.
Big deal. I learned that in primary school. The answer is ten.
And on to the local music round up. Lets start with some big news! My band, The False Dots are back at the Dublin Castle on Sunday week, with a brand new single and video - a tale of horror in a 60's cartoon style and a bit of Benny Hill thrown in! CLICK HERE FOR MORE DETAILS - We will be ably supported by Barnet & Liverpool band Those Naughty Lumps, and a brand new band called No Idea.
Here's a little preview animated video we made
Anyway, that's enough of us. Onto the local gig round up!. Follow the Barnet Music Facebook page for regular updates.
Friday 6th
Butchers Arms 9pm - Midnight Dr Realgood (Covers )
When I left work, I went to my gym at Virgin Active. I parked at the side of the building and was checking a whatsapp message, before going in, when I noticed a teenager boy walking a young dog. This caught my eye, as the dog looked like a very young version of our 15 year old fox red Labrador cross Bruno. Bruno is a much loved family member and whenever I see a similar dog, it always catches my eye.
As I watched, thinking "what a beautiful young dog" the dog decided that it wanted to sniff the wall. The teenager started to drag it. He then turned around and kicked the dog. I was completely unprepared to witness this act of violence. A red mist descended and I jumped out of the car and started yelling at the teenager. He clearly hadn't realised he was being observed and started to say "sorry, sorry". I then shouted "that is a beautiful dog, you should consider yourself lucky to have it, I saw which house you came out of and if I ever see you mistreat an animal again, I will call the police". By this time the teenager was briskly running down the road. I was absolutely furious.
In hindsight, I am glad there was a fence and a small embankment between us, as I'd have probably physically engaged him. As we all know such things can go horribly wrong. There were several staff of the gym, having a cigarette nearby, who heard the shouting. They did not see the incident. I explained to them why and they seemed shocked.
When I was 33 years old, I engaged in anger management sessions. I was conscious that on occasion, I had lost the plot and sought the need to control myself. One of the things that I was told, which gave me little solace is that in chaotic situations, it is hard to manage how you behave. The key strand is to avoid situations where you are likely to be triggered. The incident that made me seek counselling was when I was the victim of an unprovoked attack in the toilet of a pub. Someone randomly punched me in the face, whilst I was at a urinal. My reponse was very violent and it was pure luck that the assailant was not badly injured or killed. The counsellor advised that in such a situation, it is very hard to adopt any strategy, especially as you're subject to a sudden, unexpected violent attack.
Since that time, I've not experienced 'red mist' until yesterday. I think having two rescue dogs, who were both badly treated and are extremely nervous and damaged by abuse has made me very sensitive about mistreatment of animals. Fortunately, there was no physical element to the confrontation, but I did realise I'd lost the plot. It has left me feeling vulnerable and unsettled. As I noted yesterday, I am too old for such activities.
I suppose that getting so triggered every 30 years means I'll be 93 next time I lose the plot.
As the shop has been quiet this morning, I've spent it with a guitr strumming through "When I'm 64" by The Beatles. I'm 64 in August, we will be playing a birthday bash on the 23rd August at The Dublin Castle to celebrate and I am considering putting a Ska version of the Beatles classic together for it. I find it slightly incongruous. My Dad was 64 in 1981. I was nineteen and he seemed ancient. At the time, we didn't really get on at all. I was what might be described as difficult, and I think he was suffering from PTSD. He was a tough nut. Been in the Australian army and airforce in WW2. Flew bombers for the RAF, got shot down over Romania and taken prisoner of war. He was man who wasn't afraid of a punch up. When I was 19 we were having one particularly bad row and he punched me in the mouth. To my amazement, it didn't knock me over, despite the fact that he'd caught me properly. I don't know who was more shocked, him or me. I just stood there and said "You are too old for fighting, but if you try that again, I'll hit you back". I fully expected him to launch into me, but he just stood there looking forlorn. He realised I was right. I was working on a building site at the time and I was extremely fit. We had a set of weights and I trained every day and was playing football. The sands of time had caught up with him. His anger subsided and he actually never lost his temper with me again.
When I calmed down, I felt really bad about what had happened. I loved my Dad, I hadn't wanted to humiliate him in the way I had. He was a proud man and I genuinely don't think he'd ever been in such a situation in his life. Five years later, we had a proper night out. I apologised to him for what I said. His response surprised me. He said that he admired the way dealt with it. He admitted it was a wake up call. He was too old for fighting and scrapping. It had been a rude awakening, but he said that perhaps it was better that way than with some violent stranger. Now I am the same age. I've never really been one for fighting and scrapping, I wasn't in the military and I have always been of the opinion that staying calm and trying to talk my way out of difficult situations is better. That's not to say I've not lost it on occasions, but I've always been far more reticient about putting my fists up than my Dad was. But the sands of time are running out.
How much more fit, healthy life is left for me? How much longer will I be able to live life in the way I want. On Saturday, I had a day out watching Charlton play Wrexham. It started in the pub, progressed to the football and then for a curry via the pub again. It was wonderful, but there may well come a day where the sands of time make it too difficult. I've had health challenges over the last decade and a half, that are pretty typical for men my age. Prostate problems, ankle and knee problems. A career as a Gigolo went out of the window with the prostatectomy and I physically can't play football anymore. I can still play the guitar and sing with my band though. In factthe band is in rude good health at the moment!
And the band. We will be releasing our new single on Sunday 15th March, along with our new video. Unlike footballers, it seems to me musicians become better with age. Your tastes broaden and your influences widen. You become more open to change. A couple of times recently, mates of my age have said "aren't you a bit old for all that sort of stuff?". My answer is that if we were no good, then yes, but I think the band is better than ever. We are taking more chances. We are doing things I wouldn't consider when I was 21 and the band were in the prime of our first bloom. Our new album will contain the first track ever performed by The False Dots at our first rehearsal, a track called Wrong. We dropped it as we "thought it was rubbish". I played the band a version at a rehearsal in 2024 and we decided to do a version for fun, with Tom, our trumpet player singing. Strangely it sounds like it was written yesterday and is more relevant than ever.
Our next sinngle is another song of that vintage, albeit with a massive makeover. It is now more of a Ska song than the Damnedesque punk thrash I envisaged. Big Hairy Spider was a song I wrote, about a nightmare I had, about a rather pretty girl who lived up the road from me when I was a teenager. I think I'd been reading a House of Horror comic story about a beautiful seductress, who was actually a spider. My the songwriting partner rejected it on the grounds that it was 'pitifully bad'. It went into the unused song file (there may be 200 songs in there). When I was cleaning out papers, I read it and thought "Hey that would work brilliantly". It also gave me the opportunity to create a cartoon video using AI. I've shown this to a few friends and they think it is pretty good. I used a proper professional AI tool and there is a proper story.
One of the thing that really puzzles me is that people of my age typically have time and disposable money, but the music industry has no real interest in us. I actually think my bands appeal is far wider, as evidenced by the audiences at our shows, but the industry is missing a trick. For me it is a joy to play with young bands and also to see their audience reactions to us. There is a young band called No Diea playing with us at our next gig at The Dublin Castle. Their stuff reminds me a bit of the stuff we did when we first played "Wrong" in 1979! CLICK HERE TO HAVE A LISTEN TO NO IDEA.
When it comes down to it, I've realised I may be old, I may be past it, but I am not a quitter! I'll keep going until I can't. We learn, we change, we adapt, but so long as we're having fun, we get by. I started with a difficult memory of my father. I'll end it with what he told me to draw a line under the incident. He said that it made him confront something that had been with him since the circumstances in which he'd been shot down. He felt a degree of anger and guilt that he'd never really come to terms with about the death of his rear gunner Spud Murphy, who died when they were shot down. He told me he'd realised he had to stop being angry and enjoy life. He couldn't change the past and he couldn't control the future, so he had to live in the present and enjoy it. He said to me "You are too young to understand this, but when your my age you will".
Have you ever wondered how much trouble and strife in the world could have been avoided if people were mature enough to apologise when they are in the wrong and have caused upset? There is a matter I can't discuss here, it has caused a huge ruction and a lot of aggro for me. It is incredibly frustrating, because the truth of the matter is that a simple apology when it became clear that there was a problem would have completely diffused the matter and the last five months of my life would have been far more pleasant. I find myself in the middle and ever more frustrated as I watch a situation deteriorate before my eyes.
How many times in life have we heard the words "it's not fair". In truth of all the words in the English language 'fairness' is the least understood. Rooted in the Old English fæġernes (beauty, pleasantness) and fæger (agreeable, suitable), it evolved from meaning physically "beautiful" or "light-colored" to describing "morally right" and even-handed conduct by the mid-15th century. Generally most of us first said the words "it's not fair" when we were three or four and mummy wouldn't give us another sweetie or let us watch the telly past bed time. Usually it is the injustice that as a three year old we get sent to bed at 6pm when our five year old sibling can stay up to 7pm. As a frazzled parent, you tend to realise that dealing with three year olds is a thankless task. Nothing is fair and they are only sorry when it secures an advantage "Say sorry to your brother or we are not going to the sweet shop".
When dealing with adults, we have the forlorn hope that they will be a bit more rational and equitable. We hope that they will recognise that being even handed means taking account of both sides and trying to reach common ground. In truth, the fairest solutions are ones where no one is happy but everyone can live with it. When people have disputes, I am shocked at how often the source of many serious problems are the most trivial of reasons, which seem to escalate relentlessly. Some minor perceived slight often results in a festering dislike, which sometimes escalates into all manner of silliness,
Settlement of disputes involves meeting in the middle and trying to find a way forward rather than endlessly reviewing old disputes and trying to ascertain who is to blame. It means apologising even when you think the other person has a degree if culpability. It means acknowledging that your own behaviour may not have helped the situation. It means being mature enough to realise that settling an argument imperfectly is better than enlessly arguing and fighting. And most of all it means recognising that in wars, even victors suffer. Sadly many people rather narcissistically don't realise that carrying on silly disputes often hurts their friends as much as their enemies.
A mate said to me recently that all I ever do on the blog is moan about my time at school. They said "Did you actually enjoy any of it?". There were a few moments I recall. Here they are
1. Making a cotton reel crocodile in the 'baby class'. When I was at St Vincents, reception was called the baby class. The teacher was Sister Rosalie, who everyone thought was the 'nice nun'. She was always nice, never clobbered us and organised fun activities. The best one was making a cotton reel crocodile.
2. Catching Tadpoles at Darlands Lake. In Junior 2, we had Miss MacDonald. She was very pretty and very nice. I liked her. I can remember one spring, she took us down to the nearby Darlands Lake. At the time there was a boating lodge there. We caught Tadpoles and did a nature survey. I have loved the place ever since.
3. Arctic Roll. I used to quite like most of the dinners and puddings. My favourite, and I think this was a pretty universal choice amongst our school mates was the Arctic Roll. Whenever this was the pudding, we all felt like we'd won the lottery.
4. Football practice on a Sunday Afternoon at St Vincents. This was organised by Brother Jerry from St Josephs college. Dad would drive me up in his car, then we'd go for ice creams at Tonibell afterwards. Sadly, I was rubbish at football, but that never deterred me! As I was born in August, I was the smallest, weakest boy in the year. By the time I was 15, I became a big lump and a half decent defender. I think being small made me a bit fierce and this was well suited to industrial defending. I used to love that.
5. Scratching my name into the bricks at St Vincents on the last day at the school. It was a work of art, I think it's still there, even theough the school is now houses,
6. Margate. I don't have too many great memories of FCHS, which I joined in 1973. There were a couple of great moments. One was our trip to Margate. We absolutely ran riot, but it was an amazing day and going to Dreamland was fun. Our class was banned from any such trips again. But it was brilliant
7. Pine cones. Another great moment was when our class, form 4B stormed class 4H and pelted them with pine cones we'd collected during dinner break. There was bad feeling between our two classes. They were tougher, we were cleverer and we had a far higher number of troublemakers. It was a glorious feeling. We timed it so that their form teacher would arrive to take the dinner register as we left, meaning they couldn't follow us out. I suffered for it later when ambushed, but it was worth it.
8. In 1978, I joined Orange Hill Senior High School. I had a lot of fun there. I can well remember the first lesson I attended, a biology O Level class. I'd been at a boys school for five years and all of a sudden I was surrounded by pretty girls. It was wonderful. I felt like I'd been in prison and I'd just been let out.
9. Millport. We had a week long biology field trip to Millport, an island near Glasgow. It was amazing. We had to do a project, I chose to do one to see whether baby eels were attracted to fresh water. It involved a set up with a large section of gurrering in the science lab. Millport was owned by Westfield College and had well equipped facilities. I got a C+ for it. About three years later, my biology teacher saw me and apologised. He'd read an article in a science mag and some professor had won an award for a similar experiment. He said I should've got an A +. He said he hadn't taken me seriously, because I was a bit of a joker. He was a great bloke and gave me a brilliant job reference though.
10. From Jazz to Punk. Mr White, the deputy headmaster, asked me to do a presentation on how Jazz influenced Punk, as part of the celebrations for his retirement. He was a Jazz nut. It was the moment I realised that I had won the respect of my teachers at Orange Hill. I was quite shocked. It went really well.
It is interesting that despite all of the hype, the turnout was about the same. If you look at the combined vote of the right, Reform and Tories, it has gone up from 22% to 28%. Although on paper this looks good for Reform, a sensible analysis would conclude that as the seat was formerly Labour, many sat on their hands. I suspect the same is true of many Labour voters this time. Most people agree that Andy Burnham would have won, given his profile and his lack of association with Starmer. To my eyes, the Green vote is as much two fingers up to Starmer as it was an endorsement of the Greens. That is not to belittle a great performance by them. It is clear that left of centre voters rather like their approach. Policies such as "don't dump shit in our waterways" is a no-brainer winner. Reform shot themselves in the foot putting up a very iffy candidate. Was he really the best they can manage? If he is, then they are doomed.
I suspect Starmer is privately rather chuffed. His nightmare is a mass defection of working class support to Reform. What we are seeing is that Reform are not winning elections. They do OK in the polls, but people vote for whoever is best placed to clobber them. I suspect that Starmer will take a bloody nose from the Greens, if it means Burnham is kept out and Reform humiliated. We are still very mid term and I'd have been amazed if voters hadn't spanked Starmer. In truth, when Burnham was stopped, I expected Labour to be single digits. Governments always get kicked in the nuts when they are performing badly mid term. Sadly, I suspect that Starmer will be more than happy with getting 25%.
It is interesting watching the bleating of Reform. It is odd how they don't like the fact that they can't win real elections.
A rather interesting thought occurred to me today, as I was sitting in the lobby of the blood test department, reading the paper this morning. The front page of The Guardian had a headline that Democrats were condemning the 'State of the Union' speech, stating that it was a 'work of fiction'. I always rather enjoy Thursday's Guardian, as John Crace, who writes the Parliamentary sketch is a brilliant writer. There is little in the Guardian I actually find readable these days, but Crace is one of the reasons I still read the paper. In the last paragraph, he recounts that Starmer skewered Kemi Badenoch, with the killer line "You are just an irrelevance". I pondered on this and a rather odd thought came to me. Had Donald Trump uttered those words to Kamala Harris or Hillary Clinton in a Presidential debate, the liberal left would have been up in arms, and citing it as proof of Trump's misogyny. When Starmer utters it, the Guardian simply assumes he's right. In my mind, I started to imagine Donald Trump uttering those words. They would roll off his tongue far more easily than Starmers.
In my bored day dream, I started to wonder, maybe Sir Keir Starmer is more like Donald Trump than we care to realise. Mayve what Starmer needs is to unleash his inner Donald Trump. The more I thought about it, the more similarities I started to see. They both thought it was an excellent idea that Peter Mandelson was ambassador to the USA. They both are out of step with the party they joined, both being far to the right of the machine they inherited (the Labour membership loved Jeremy Corbyn and many think Starmer too right wing). Both won big at the last election, with seemingly unassailable victories.
But the differences are far more marked. Trump has used his mandate to do the things he believes America needs to be great again. It is a matter of opinion as to whether he is right, but whatever he does or doesn't do, we all know that he believes he has the answers and his agenda is the right one. Sir Keir Starmer doesn't even know what his own agenda and mandate is. With his majority, he could have bulldozed through a whole raft of populist measures that would have cemented Labour as the party of the people (something it has always pretended to be). What did he do? Put the boot into pensioners, whilst sucking up to the rich and powerful. He could have gone after multi national corporations that make billions in the UK and pay little tax, to fund a whole swathe of programmes of national regeneration. If he clobbered Amazon for £10 billion, butr said "Listen mate, your vans use the roads that we are fixing the pot holes in with the money", he'd have been highly popular and even Amazon may grudgingly admitted that it was a good idea, as their vehicles would ultimately require less maintenace. Multinationals like to have bases in the UK as English is the worlds business language, so a few quid from them to improve schools, universities and colleges would be an excellent idea, one they would ultimately benefit from.
We may hate Trump and his tarriff scheme, but he has found a way to fix the US budget deficit. I'd love to see Starmer have the balls and do something similar here. Not in an American way, but in a way that would benefit the whole country. Starmer has a maassive majority, but he is a coward, so he is squandering the opportunity. I'd hate to have a Trump style leader in the UK, but I would like to see Starmer have the guts to pick fights with vested interests in the way Trump has.
