A new PM, a new start?

 So today was Mr Andy Burnham's first day at the office as it were. He's been PM for around six weeks, but today is the first day he got to face Parliament. There has been some criticism of this gap,but I have to say I think it is rather sensible. It is not a trivial job and he needs to get on top of his briefs. One of my biggest criticisms of the UK system is that Parliament is as much about theatre as it is about actual proper governance. Sir Keir Stramer showed just how hard it is to be PM with a charisma bypass. It is very easy to conclude that an extremely competent PM is useless if they are bad at dealing with the House. 

The problem the UK has at the moment is that we have a whole swathe of massive decisions for our politicians to take, that will require tough decisions and these will affect our lives for decades. However, the electoral cycle means that Andy Burnham has two years to convince us he's the man for the job. Everyone on all sides of the house, who is a serious politician, knows we have to massively increase spending on things like defence, Adult social care, the NHS, schools, roads, railways, airports, water, electricity and gas, or the whole thing is going to fall apart. All of this costs serious money and so big tax rises are needed. Sadly, no politician has the guts to tell the truth. If they did, it would be suicidal as the opposition would crucify them. The alternative is managed decline and failure of the UK as a nation.

The post Thatcherite consensus is one which has ripped the UK apart. The concept that tax rises are a bad thing is a lie that we've all bought into. The right are currently pushing the line that we need more privatisation in the NHS. This ignores the fact that people living in countries where there is not a social healthcare system pay far more and many end up bankrupt when they get ill. We all want to walk the streets safe, but we won't pay for prisons and gaol's to ensure the law is enforced. Do we actually save money? No because we pay a fortune in insurance premiums instead. 

We want a railway that runs on time and safely, but we don't want to put in the investment that will deliver this. Does this save money? No, we are chronically inefficient as so many people spend so much time waiting for trains that don't come. The Tory mantra is that Taxes are bad,but they never lay out the consequences of a 'low tax economy'. The say that socialists only want to spend "YOUR MONEY" on services for "SOMEONE ELSE". We buy this old claptrap. We never say "hang on, my insurance premiums are going up due to rising crime, I can't get a doctors appointment and my train was late three times this week, because we don't spend enough monet doing the stuff we need to do as a nation".

I have a theory. I believe that the billionaires who are the biggest beneficiaries of these policies are in fact the biggest parasites of all. Not only are they greedy, but they actually damage the economy. They stockpile their cash ensuring it does not stimiulate the economy. Let me explain, A billion pounds is a thousand million pounds. If we took a billion quid off Britains richest people in taxes, they would not be any worse off materially. They wouldn't notice any material change in the quality of life. If we ere just to go out and give this to the million worst off families with children in the UK, a thousand quid each, this would massively improve their quality of living. They would put the money back into the economy and help drive economic growth. Local shops and businesses would get a huge and much needed injection of cash and the children of the families would see massive benefits. 

Now I can already hear the squeals of the right wing press, who work for billionaire press barons, and the bots controlled by them on Twitter. Why should 'hard working people' have to give up their hard earned cash to subsidise the poor? Well mostly because it is the right thing to do, but the idea isn't unique. When Rishi Sunak was Boris Johnson's chancellor, he did something similar with the "Eat out to help out" policy, to get us out and spending again. This policy largely benefitted the middle classes who like a bit of free dinner. But it did stimulate economic growth and saved a few businesses. It is now much ridiculed, but it gave the economy a massive boost. I am not an economist, I am a musician, but I understand the way the economy works, as I was born and raised in a family that ran small businesses. What you want is ordinary people to have cash, if you want a strong economy. Ultimately that bebefits everyone, even the mega rich. 

I do not begrudge the likes of Elon Musk and Bill Gates their billions. I just think that they should share a little bit of it around. They would not have to go without. You need people like them to take risks, start business, come up with innovation. They should be handsomely rewarded. But I do think that when they are sitting on piles of money that they will not spend in a dozen lifetimes, something is wrong. 

All of this probably explains why I'd make a lousy politician and why it is Andy Burnham and not me in No 10. I wish him well and I hope you do, even if you can't stand him or his politics. The reason is simple. If he screws up, we'll all suffer. One last thing. I suspect that Andy Burnham is the first PM since John Major that I think you could have a pint and a chat with and it wouldn't be excruciating. 

The Sunday Reflection #97 - Why I cannot break the deal I made with God!

 Have you ever made a deal with God in a time of extreme stress? I have. Back in the last century, my Brother in Law Tim had a catastrophic bike accident. He was knocked off a moped in Greece in the early hours of the morning, by what we assume was a drunk driver. Ata round 5.30am, there was an 'anonymous' call to report the accident. Tim had been lying there for several hours when the ambulance and paramedics turned up. His blood pressure was registering zero. He'd broken more bones than he hadn't. He had suffered brain damage. He wasn't expected to last the night. Although at the time I was pretty non religious, I went down on my knees, said a prayer and said "Oh Lord, if Tim recovers, I promise I will go to Church every Sunday that I reasonably can. To my, and everyone else's surprise, Tim made it through the night, through the week. He couldn't speak, his body was shattered. He was a very successful ER Doctor at the time of the accident. We were grateful he hadn't passed away, but his prognosis and the brain damage seemed so acute that we had little hope for any sort of meaningful recovery.

Tim had other ideas. He had to re-learn every word. He had to commit to punishing physio. He'd lost his medical license. But, slowly, surely he rebuilt himself. He retook his medical exams and re-qualified. He went back to work. He recovered well enough to fall off a ladder and nearly kill himself, but he recovered. He has had a couple of brushes with cancer, but he's survived. I kept my side of the bargain. Oddly, I have got quite a lot out of it. Most of my mates wrongly assumed I'd only started going to get my kids into St Vincents. Oddly, I found I got a lot out of going. That wasn't part of the deal, was it? I got to learn of people who I knew who were ill, or passed away. I bumped into friends I hadn't seen for a while and made a few new ones. At the time the priest was the rather good Fr Perry Gildea, who was quite inspirational and talked a lot of sense. Since his time, we've had some very good and some not so good ones. We've had one who tested my commitment to the limit, but at the back of my mind has been the thought that the first time I break the deal, what will happen to Tim, who as you can probably guess is a bit accident prone etc. He's also in his 80's.

My Dad cautioned me about making such deals. The last proper evening out we had, he told me that he was worried. When he was shot down in his Wellington Bomber in 1944, he made a deal with the Lord that if he survived he'd try and be a good person. The mistake? He asked for his biblical allowance of three score and ten years. The problem? He was in his 70th year. The deal was up. He was in good form and I told him not to be superstitious. I never saw him again, he had an unexpected anuerism. I think he knew. He'd taken out a new credit card, run up a huge bill in the USA visiting my sister and it all got written off when he passed away.

Given that it is 30 years since I made my deal and Tim is in his 80's now, there are all sorts of dilemma's that the unexpected turn of events have thrown up. Clearly, if I renage on the deal and Tim drops dead, I will feel terrible, so that isn't going to happen. But what if I drop dead first? Tim knows of the deal, is it unfair to stress him out knowing that the deal is off? What if he passes away at some point now? Clearly I've had good value for the deal, so do I need to keep going? What if Tim rings up and says "I've had enough, can you not go to mass for a few weeks", what should I do? What if I stop going and he changes his mind?

My Dad, who was a firm believer in such things, to the extent that he believed he could make sunshine and rain. He told me that the only secret was that you had to absolutely believe that God would listen to your prayers and that you never make any deal or ask for anything lightly. He also cautioned that with things like making the sun shine, you were not changing things permanently and when you make good weather, you will get soaked at some time shortly after the period when you want good weather. So if you are at a wedding and the forecast is bad, you can change it, but a few days later, you'll get caught in an unexpected cloudburst. There is always some sort of price to pay. Dad also cautioned me not to wish ill on anyone, as any ills that befall them are on you and you will also pay the price. So be very careful. Now you may think this is all superstitious claptrap. I probably would have, but as Tim really shouldn't be here, what am I to make of it all. 

I am superstitious. If I am watching football and I need the toilet, I can only go when Manchester City's goalie has the ball. I've passed this on to my son. If I see a Magpie, I always say "Good morning Mr Magpie, have a nice day" as I think it will bring doom on me if I don't. The list is pretty long. Now the odd thing is that I am extraordinarily lucky most of the time. I believe that this is 100% down to the efforts I put in with him upstairs. I've been told it is utterly ridiculous by some family members and friends on many occasions, but I have far better luck in just about everything than any of them.  

As I said, I am lucky, and I am blessed in life. Of course, it will run out one day. Maybe that day will be today, maybe not. But I guarantee one thing. I'm not breaking my side of any of these bargains anytime soon. I once had a discussion with a priest about all of this and asked his opinion. He said "If it works for you, I wouldn't be too concerned". And in life, that is perhaps the biggest truth about how we live our lives, if something is working for you, that is all that really matters.  

My mantra "We all love a party" so lets try and make this life as much of a party as we can!

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The Saturday List #507 - Ten things you can do right now to put a smile on your face in these troubled times

 I'm not gonna mess about. The skies are grey. It is raining. The world is run by narcissistic maniacs. Social media has turned into a cesspit of vile abuse. Everyone seems to have an opinion about everything and 99% of it is offensive and ill informed. But don't despair. We let the 1% of terrible things in our lives cast a shadow of the 99% that is great. I can't solve your financial problems, get rid of the trolls, replace the narcissistic leaders with good ones. But I can put a smile on your face, or at least I can try to. So here are ten things that I hope will do the trick. They certainly put a smile on my face!

1, Some sage advice from Fletcher to Godber. If you can't change your situation, change your mindset

2. Perhaps the greatest comedy film ever. Perhaps the best moment. Be careful of false messiah's!

3. Is there a better song? Not for me. When I am down, this does the trick. Mr Ian Dury is the man. Just remember, he wasn't an oil painting. He was disabled. He did this!

4. One of the bands and songs that are massive influences on me. I love this song and the video "Good morning Mrs Jones, how's your Berts Lumbago" is perhaps the best line ever in any song. One I am jealous of!

5. Legend has it that Ritchie Havens made this up on the spot as he was asked to play for longer, as the next band hadn't arrived. I met him at Ronnie Scotts a year before he died. He had an aura unlike anyone. A man of spirituality who just made me feel good.

6. Michael Parkinson with Emu. How can you watch this and not laugh and feel better.

7. The Goodies - Kitten Kong. A classic TV moment. Silly but great fun

8. Hale and Pace, the Swedish Sauna sketch. A much overlooked classic

9, I love James Bond films.  I especially love Roger Moore, and not just because of his cool name and the fact he used to live up the road (really). He made the franchise fun. This was the greatest moment. 

10. And finally! I've spent the last 47 years trying to make music to make people happy. I hope I've succeeded. Here is "We all love a party" from last year. I think this is a great fun song. People seem to like it.. 

I hope at least a few of these put a smile on your face. Pass on the love. What do you do to make yourself smile?

Friday fun and local music round up - Friday 28th August 2026

 As is the tradition with Barnet Bloggers, we start with the Friday joke, once more from the purveyor of finest Dad jokes, Robert Wilkinosn.

I had to leave my job at the cat sanctuary when they reduced meowers.

— Robert Wilkinson (@robertwlk) August 23, 2026

And on to the weekly gig round up!

Friday 28th

Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm - The Past Unperfect (Country/blues)

The Lord Kitchener 8.30pm – late - One Man Stand

Kings Head 9pm – late - Karaoke Night

Barrington Bar 8.30 pm - midnight  - Karaoke with Johno

Ye Olde Monken Holt 9pm – 11.50pm - DJ The Real Slim Sadie (Disco)

Saturday 29th

Butchers Arms 9pm – late  - Xspired (60 - 90s Covers)

East Barnet RB Legion 8.30pm - 11pm £2 non members - Odyssey Blues & Soul (Soul, Blues, Jazz)

Toolans 9pm – 11.30pm - Gaz Martin

Ye Olde Monken Holt 9 – 11.30pm - Cat Reynolds (Acoustic Covers)

Chipping Barnet Social Club EN5 5UW 9pm – 11.30pm -  Marc RV (Solo artist)  

Sunday 30th

The Kings Head 2pm- 4pm - Elena & Kevin (60-80s' covers)

East Barnet CIU Club 2pm – 5pm - Georgia Chandler

Black Horse 2pm – 6pm - Freckle & Fret  

Ye Olde Monken Holt 7pm – 9pm - Redwood Rose

Queens Arms 7pm- Amy Winehouse Tribute

Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm - Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available

Toolans 8.30pm – 11.30pm - Theresa Rodgers

Monday 31st

Jan's North London Jam at The Three Wishes, Edgware 

Live music details for this gig on Lemonrock

9pm - 11pm

Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) - Barnet Acoustics Session

Tuesday 1st

The Black Horse Open Mic Night 7.30pm (1st Tuesday of month)

Wednesday 2nd September

Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm  - Open Mic Night

Thursday 3rd September

Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm - Irish Session

And finally, it was my birthday last Saturday! I had a right old party down at The Dublin Castle. We played this!

-

Rock and Roll Stories #73 - What could possibly go wrong?

 So did you come to The Dublin Castle to see The False Dots on Sunday? It was the bands one hundred and thirty sixth gig of our career. Every single one has been an absolute adventure, with stories and memories generated. We've met other bands, great people, seen all manner of venues. We've played for Gangsters and Vicars, Royalty and Robbers! I like to think people come because they know they will have fun and it will be a bit of an event. It's not the Rolling Stones at Wembley, but it is a unique event and no two gigs are the same. We played 12 songs and we didn't even play the 12 we planned, as we got a mate we spotted in the audience to join us on one. We got a great response, and everyone had a boogie. After the gig, a few mates said it was the best one ever. Given that it was my birthday and so I

Rog with Tony Bugbear, Griff and
Michele with one 'L' after the gig

had been plied with drinks and forgot a couple of words here and there, or that Fil had equipment problems and his bass cut out a few times, it is, I guess a testament to what we do that people didn't seem to notice, or maybe they just enjoy the rock and roll chaos that seems to be part of what we do. I had an absolute ball. I cannot lie, I'm 64 and you use a lot of energy. I slept well!

Doing a gig is not just playing. We played for one hour, which was 12 songs, all originals. We played two songs for the first time, which seemed to go well. We had two rehearsals dedicated to just getting the set right and finalising the new numbers. Generally rehearsals last 2-3 hours, we time the actual set, to make sure we don't overrun. We also tweak songs that need it. I've no idea how much time we spend on promotion, but we do a lot of work on that. On the Sunday, we were playing at 5pm. The band arrived at noon to soundcheck. The pub wasn't even open. Matthew, the soundman arrived with us. It took Matthew 45 minutes to get everything ready for us. At 12.45, we did the soundcheck. We did the two new numbers, as Tom sang one and I sang the other. It was pretty smooth. Then Little Rock and Niall Logue did their soundchecks. For us, it was a long wait until 4pm. 

We always make a point of watching the other bands, chatting to our fans and friends. It was great to see so many new faces, many of whom have been listening to the new album. Several too great delight in quoting a line from the song "Chinese Nosh" at Graham 'Rambo' Ramsey, our drummer. It starts with "Pass the Soy Sauce Rambo" and Gray was quite disconcerted by the number of strangers walking up to him and saying it. 

Every artist writes songs for different reasons. We go through different stages. These days, I write songs to put a smile on peoples face and perhaps trigger a few memories. Graham said he played the song to the owner of his local chinese takeaway, who loved it! I am always fascinated by the people everyone else ignores. I always try and chat to the people who run local cafe's and restaurants, many have become friends. If I can immortalise them in song, even better. 

People seem to get it. The new album has had well over 1,000 streams on Spotify, Not enough for us to retire, but we've only promoted it on line and at gigs, so that is actually pretty good. We won't retire on the proceeds, but people seem to love it when they hear it.

The gig was the official launch of the album, as well as my birthday party. After we played, I had a few more beers with friends, etc. Everyone was in a brilliant mood. The Promoter, Tony Gleed at Bugbear gave me a box of home grown tomatoes as a present, which was lovely and they were delicious. When we were done, we nipped down to Goodfare Italian, for some pasta and a bottle of wine. All very civilised.. I was tucked up in bed by 10pm. It was a great day. Thanks to everyone who made it special.

If it all goes wrong and these lunatics blow the world up, thanks it's been fun

 So Russia has recalled its ambassador to the UK. The UK has sold Ukraine blueprints for super duper missiles. The head of the CIA has made an 'unannounced visit' to Moscow to discuss what no one seems to know, but a lot of people are speculating. Russia is reportedly performing 'mobilisation exercises'. Both the USA and Russia have received bloody noses in their military adventures. I don't think anyone, least of all Vladimir Putin had any idea that his Ukraine adventure would go so badly. I cannot possibly believe he ever envisaged drones raining down on Moscow and petrol shortages. As for Trump, his adventure in Iran has demonstrated the limits of US power. 

If you look at Twitter, you might be convinced to go out and start hording water and tins of sardines. I am not sure that if you've embarked on a failed military adventure that is stretching your economy to breaking point, opening a new front is that wise. I am also not sure that if I wanted to stop Vladimir Putin from launching new military adventures, I'd send the head of the CIA on a secret mission. But then again, I understand little of what Donald Trump does. I am not sure he understands either. 

As for Putin, it strikes me that he is in a trap of his own making. Whilst Trump is completely unpredictable, I don't believe that Putin is. I believe he is sane and rational. I also believe that he knows he is in an ever more difficult position. He seems to have his hands firmly on the levers of power. However things change quickly when such people lose their aura of invincibility. There is a simplistic view that he could walk in to the Baltic Republics and annexe them and Trump would not commit the US or NATO. That is a massive gamble. Whilst Putin might see such a gambit as his last chance, will his generals really want to risk seeing their families annihilated in a nuclear holocaust if it all goes wrong?

As a military strategy, opening second fronts when  you are not winning your first front has always been a mistake. But we are dealing with people who are, for different reasons very unpredictable. Trump needs a  way out of Iran, so creating a massive distraction elsewhere may seem to him to be a brilliant idea. Putin is playing a different game, as best I can see. His one Ace is that Russia is still a country with a huge nuclear arsenal. This makes any sort of major military clash deeply undesirable for both parties. However, if you play international relations with the mindset of a poker player, it is a great card. 

The problem Russia has is that after four years, it is bogged down in Ukraine and if it had the resources to achieve its tasks it would have already. It has options, none of which are great. They could sure for peace, but Putin would be finished. They could throw even more resources at the problem, which there is no guarantee would work. They can start soe sort of distraction to take everyones eyes of Ukraine, but this would drain resources even more. Putin is becomi ng ever more reliant on his  main allies, China, North Korea and Iran. The most powerful of these is China and a massive escalation is not the way the Chinese do business. The practical difference North Korea and Iran can offer is very limited. 

China works on strategies that evolve over decades. Their way is small incremental gains over many years. They move so slowly that no one notices what they are doing until they've done it. Do they really want to risk it all for a dodgy neighbour? They do however see the USA as the main threat to their long term plans and I believe that China see opportunities in Trump to further their long term agenda. The USA under Trump has shown its allies that it is not reliable. This can only be good for Chinese foreign policy and influence. The more discord they can sow between Trump and the US allies, the greater the long term gains for Chinese foreign policy. They don't really have to do very much to win this little game. 

But China also know that this is a dangerous game. They can get things wrong as well. I don't believe the situation is anywhere near as dangerous as the hysterical tweeters seem to think. I think it is all very unsettling and worrying, but my view is that there is a big game of bluff going on. Trump wants some sort of victory. Putin wants some sort of face saving solution that can justify his appalling strategy. The Chinese want everyone else to be weaker and their position to be stronger, without doing very much. 

From what I know of people who do jobs like being head of the CIA, they talk to their opponents to sort out solutions, not to make threats. Threats are the business of politicians. Starting wars is the job of the military.The CIA's job is to know what is going on. I suspect that his opposite number at The FSB in Moscow is a sane, rational pragmatist. The primary role of both is to know what the other is thinking. At times of great stress, having a face to face chat is probably a very sensible thiong to do. But if I am wrong, if it all goes wrong and these lunatics blow the world up, thanks it's been fun. 

How to be a successful gigging band playing original material

 Yesterday The False Dots performed our 8th gig of the year and the 136th of our career! To put it in some sort of perspective, that's about as many as The Ramones used to perform in a year and we've been going for 47 years! But we were pretty inactive between 1986-1990, took a complete break from 1990 to 2002, only played sporadically between 2002-2020 (3-4 gigs a year max) and have done a third of that total since 2022. Now if you are a covers band and want to earn cash, you probably want to be doing 2-3 gigs a week, if you can. But if, like me, you want to play your own material and you are not in a band with management and a label support, you need to have a strategy that works. Our matinee show yesterday got aa great crowd and it was amazing to meet new people who had never seen us before, including Roy who came down specially from Grantham! 

There are various tiers of bands and each tier has a decreasing level of expertise, experience and backup when it comes to making gigs successful. The tier 1 bands are the likes of The Rolling Stones, Madonna, etc.  They sell out the big stadiums and do world tours. They largely just have to turn up and deliver onstage. The same is pretty much true for tier 2 bands, those that play the bigger venues but not quite on the level of The Rolling Stones. The likes of Paul Weller, Madness, etc. They have loyal followings and well oiled machines, headline slight;y smaller festivals and their gigs are nit quite the big events of a Stones at Wembley, but are still pretty big. They have to put a bit more work in to self promotion etc. They are all pretty established and on top of their business. The tier 3 bands headline Big halls, think Hammersmith Apollo/The Roundhouse etc. Often they are on the way up or were big a few years ago. They will also play support slots at festivals etc, as they have decent sized fan bases. The top three tiers of artists tend to have teams to do stuff for them. 

Then there are the tier 4 bands. These are bands that play smaller clubs, such as The Jazz Cafe, Dingwalls, etc. They often have decent fan bases, but are either on the way up or had a catalogue from a few years ago and a loyal fanbase, which makes it worthwhile gigging and touring. They usually have management to arrange stuff, but have to pretty much promote themselves and if they are savvy have a decent contact list of sympathetic media types to help them. 

Then you get to bands like The False Dots. We sit on tier 5. We can get gigs, have a small established fan base and a play smaller venues regularly, but have to do all of the work ourselves most of the time. We play venues such as The Dublin Castle, Nambucca etc. We have our contacts in media and gig promotion, that generally we've built up over a  few years and they look after us.

And finally, there are tier six bands. These are the band who are just starting out, have very few contacts, and often little idea how to go about anything. I'm sort of guessing that these bands are the ones who this is most relevant to, but there are always lessons to learn. 

Now you may wonder why what the Rolling Stones do at Wembley has any bearing about you getting a gig at the Dog and Duck and making it a successful night? The answer is everything. A tier one artist almost always get it right, they have a team to book the gigs and they get the best venues, they have a PR team to promote it and maximise their reach, they have a team to make sure all of their gear works, they have a team to organise their rehearsals and a team to make any travel arrangements, ensuring the band are on time. What I am saying is that whatever tier of band you are in, the job is always the same it is just the scale. So what do you have to do?

1. Get a decent show together. Notice I use the word "show" not set. People come to see a show, to be entertained. If you want people to spend their hard earned cash on your band, you need to give them a good time. Any band can learn a set of songs and trot them out. That is easy, The harder part is to make something that people will tell their mates is good, will have interesting social media clips and might just get a buzz going. You have to do more than just learn a set of songs at rehearsal. Work out your interactions. Work out which songs will get the best audience reaction and if you can put a bit of theatre in there, all the better. That doesn't mean cheesy skits, it means making the audience get it. If you don't have a decent show to put on, why are you bothering? Always try and build in something to the show that will help you sell it in your promotion campaign. You need to say more than we are a great band and we have brilliant songs. Everyone says that. Give people something they can buy into. Know your genre.

2.Get the right gigs for your band. I know what it is like when you start out, you just want to play somewhere, anywhere and you don't feel you can afford to be too choosy. This is a mistake. When you are a brand new band and no one has seen or heard you, it is easier to get mates along. So make sure you loose your virginity as a band at a venue where they will enjoy you. I don't mean wait until someone will put you on at Wembley Stadium, but if you can get a support slot at a decent, well run venue that will be far better experience than a gig at a local pub where you have to sort the sound out yourself and you don't know how the PA works! Don't be intimidated to ask promoters. I always try and check venues out for the band before I play them. It saves a lot of tears.  Local festivals are another great place to start, as they have a crowd already. Try and identify promoters that do a good job and work with them. 

3. Promote the hell out of your gigs. Once you've got a gig, make sure everyone who you can reach knows about it. Promote the hell out of it. Set up social media accounts for the band. Don't expect a million followers overnight, but nag your friends and family to share like hell. This is where you start. Don't expect promoters to deliver an audience for an unknown band. They won't. It is down to you. Studies show that you need about seven social media engagements before people start to take notice. My advice is always work on a six week cycle of promotion and use all of the tools. Facebook groups for your music genre, Tiktok, Instagram. I even plug stuff on Linkedin! It doesn't matter, but post 2-3 times a week over the six week period and post different and interesting content.  My band play Ska music, we have many fans who are interested in football, so we use both of these things both in lyrics and in our promotions to engage and interest people. If you have recorded music,try and get it played on the radio. Use services like BBC Introducing and also try and get played on online stations. Follow the show hosts on social media and engage with them, if you can build a rapport, ask them to play your music and plug your gigs. 

@falsedotsrog Don’t miss the False Dots album launch #wedontliveinamerica on Sunday 23rd August at the Dublin Castle #camdentown #ska #punk #skapunk ♬ original sound - The False Dots

4. Sort out your gig logistics. You've sorted your show out, you've got the gig, you've promoted the hell out of it and there is a buzz going. What could possibly go wrong? You'd be amazed how often the business of getting to a gig undoes a band. Allow more time than you need, always be early for the soundcheck. Make sure members don't go AWOL or get drunk between the soundcheck and the gig. Musicians often get nervous and drink to cope. It rarely helps. Also make sure you have everything you need. If you have gear that needs batteries, make sure they are charged! These things can undo you.

5. Engage with your audience when they arrive and after the show. If you make friends with your audience and show them love, they will come back. They will buy merch and they will tell their friends. Your fans are your secret weapon! Never forget that or take them for granted. 

6. Always try and have another gig to promote, but don't overgig. We tend to play our regular gigs like the Dublin Castle 3-4 times a year. That keeps it fresh. If you get in with a decent promoter, be loyal to them. They will look after you, but you have to give something back. Make sure they know you are working on promotion etc.

7. Always use gigs as opportunities to get great social media content. Not just of the set, Try and get snippets before and after with fans. Once the gig is done, post content afterwards to show people who didn't make it what they missed!

@falsedotsrog One of the best things about playing at @dublincastlepub are the tourist guides with groups nipping in during the soundcheck and being given the history by the staff.we always have a laugh with them! #camdengigs #ska #thefalsedots #soundcheck ♬ The Crows - The False Dots

8. Watch the other bands and engage with them. All bands have networks of fans and friends and it is a great way to build a following. Their fans are at the gig and the promoter thinks that the two bands are compatible. Video them and share on your social media, they will then share and it will raise awareness of your accounts.

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9. Remember why the venue are hosting you. The sad truth is that most small venues put bands on to sell more alcohol. They suffer promoters and bands as a means to an end and so long as the cash rolls in they are happy. The promoters do not usually get a cut of the beer money. Promoters need to make cash to make it  worth while. When bands criticise promoters for 'not doing anything' they forget that they have to organise a doorman, a soundman, sort out line ups, deal with landlords and listen to bands saying they'll bring 50 people when they bring their Mum and Dad. Good promoters like Tony at Bugbear, who runs the Dublin Castle's music puts on a huge number of bands every year. They post on social media and put posters up around the pub. He puts the False Dots on because he knowns we will do what we can to get people through the door. The fact he likes the music and we have a craic with him is a bonus.

10. Make it fun. If you are enjoying yourself, the chances are that the audience will.  In my career, I've played with hundreds of other bands, many of which are technically better than us, but who have been so uptight and miserable that they sunk like lead balloons. We always have a right craic and that rubs off on the audience. For us, that is in our DNA as a band. I am not saying that there is no place for dark, moody music. If that is your show, that's great, but when bands play jangly, bouncy pop, whilst looking as if they've got diarrhea and a migraine it really doesn't work. 

In short, to sum up, if you want to be a successful gigging band, do your homework, do all the things that need to be done, as well as you possibly can and try and have some fun at the same time.

Guest Blog - York Rise Street Party Festival in Camden needs your help - By Dan Carrier

 Hello!

My name is Dan and I organise the annual York Rise Street party!

As you may know, it is a completely free performing arts festival in the heart of Dartmouth Park, with four music stages, theatre, cinema, side shows and stalls.

We offer FREE space to every good cause we can find - from green initiatives to civic groups, to our local library and schools - and we are a completely volunteer led and not for profit organisation.

On the day, we raise funding for a hyper-local cause - in the past, we have done things like bought the Kentish Town City Farm a new horse, re stocked the children's library in Highgate Newtown, and established a food bank in Camden Town, that remains open and running today.

We provide a platform for people to showcase their talents, and offer access to the arts for everyone.

We really need YOUR help to keep going - we have relied on grants and donations and this year, costs have risen and funders withdrawn - so to make sure we can host a wonderful free community day, we'd be so grateful for donations of any size to go towards paying for the production of this very special event.

A huge thank you to everyone who comes, every one who supports us and to everyone who makes the event happen! See you on Saturday September 5th 2026....!

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Guest blogs are always welcome at The Barnet Eye blog. Dan is a good friends of the Barnet Eye and we are proud to help support the York Rise Street Party. If you enjoy the Barneteye and appreciate the work people put into organising community festivals, please consider a donation. £10 will be great, anything bigger will be spiffing

The Sunday Reflection #96 - What more could I want

 I found a teapot this morning, I rubbed it and a genie came out. It granted me three wishes. But he cautioned me. He said "If you ask for an end to all wars, then I'd have to wipe the human race off the planet, and if you ask for all cancer to go away, nature will just make something even worse to fill the void". I said "So what youa re saying is just ask for something that doesn't change the world". He replied "Well you can, but the last bloke who asked for the German dictator Karl Heinz Muller to never have existed, because he'd crashed the economy and made his family penniless, found he'd got Hitler instead and his hometown was under Soviet control and his family had been killed in allied bombing". 

I sort of got the drift. What would I actually like.  Now if I'd been my Dad, I'd have asked for a million pounds straight off. He did the pools for years in the hope of getting the 8 draws and becoming rich. But I am pretty comfortably off and the more I see of very rich people, the more I dislike them. I thought "Maybe I'll ask for my plumbing to work like it did before I had my prostate removed". But his warning about what replaced Karl Heinz Muller troubled me.  The law of unintended consequences????

What could I possibly ask for that would not have some terrible unforseen effect? I thought "Well maybe if I asked for one small thing that would make me happy, one small thing that would make Clare happy and one small thing that would make the kids happy?". What would make me happy that couldn't possibly have a downside? Man Utd losing their opening game of the season? That might, but they may then sack their manager and get someone better? What might make Clare happy, that a genie could give her? What would the kids like? Gosh this was getting really hard. 

And then, Clare woke me up with a cup of tea. Oddly, I realised that what I wanted most right then was a cup of tea because I was thirsty? I was quite discombobulated. Had I wasted an ideal opportunity? Maybe I should have just asked for the winning lottery numbers. Money can't solve all your problems, but it as I am now 64, time is running out and it might give me the chance to do something that I can't otherwise. 

Today I am doing a gig to celebrate The False Dots new album and my 64th birthday. What I'd really like is for lots of people I like to turn up and for us all to have a great afternoon. My wife and kids are coming, so that would make them happy as well. I'd have asked the genie along as well if I'd not been woken up.

When it comes down to it if your family are healthy and love you, you have good friends, enough food and enough to drink and a bit extra to go out and have a few holidays then you don't need too much else really, do you?

Birthday Special Saturday List #506 - My Top ten guilty pleasure tracks, that I can only admit to now I am 64!

 When I started The False Dots, I was very worried that if I said I liked the wrong sort of music, I'd become a victim of ridicule. This was not unfounded. As the youngest of six kids, my siblings relentlessly teased me at every opportunity. One of the reasons I didn't talk until I was four was that I knew exactly what would happen if I did. I would be mercilessly lampooned and humiliated.

Well I have decided it is high time I fought back! For my 64th Birthday, here is my special guilty pleasures playlist. I loved all of these songs, but as a teenager, I'd rather die than admit it. Here's the list and here's why.

1. How much is that doggie in the window. I loved this song when I was little. I have always loved dogs and this really hit the spot. When I became a teenager and self conscious, my sisters would tell my mates this was my favourite song, just to humiliate me.

2. Happy Talk by Captain Sensible. The Damned were one of my favourite bands. When the Captain did this on TOTP and my Dad said he loved it, I felt like the world had ended. But its great and it's a lot of fun. I should have bought it, but didn't.

3. The Last Waltz by Engelbert Humperdink. This may have been the first single I bought. I was always Engelbert rather than Tom Jones. It's a belting tune. I recall when I was about 18, coming home to find my Mum and Dad with this on the turntable having a smoochy dance. I guess I ruined the moment for them, but it is the image I most love of them. I'd never have admitted to liking it though.

4. Swinging on a star by Bing Crosby. I wanted the Pinky and Perky version of this, but it ain't on Spotify. I loved Pinky and Perky and it was my favourite song. My sisters used to really enthusiastically sing along to it, when it was played. I didn't even realise that Bing Crosby did it until I started going out with Clare. My father in law loved this.

5. Aquamarina - The theme from Stingray. I was tiny when Stingray first came out. This was the theme tune. As much as a a four year old can, found this song quite sexy and exciting. I always felt strange feelings listening to it. It is only now that I can admit that though. As a general note, all of the theme tunes to Gerry Anderson TV shows were amazing. 

6. Donald where's your troosers by Andy Stewart. I have Tony Gleed to thank for reminding me of this and inspiring the list. I loved this song. When I was a kid this seemed rather naughty and risque. The idea that Scotsmen wore kilts with no underpants was something that was very strange. I was disappointed when I made it up to Scotland in 1979 and no one was wearing one. This is a great song, but not one a punk rocker would admit to liking.

7. Top Cat. The theme tune. This is a banging tune. Of all the various American cartoons, Top Cat is my favourite (a close toss up with Tom and Jerry). I love the urban decay and the daily battles the cats have and their incredible resilience. Top Cat may actually have been the first TV character to embody a punk rock ethos, although it took a long time for the penny to drop.

8. The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Books. This is my favourite Disney film ever. The songs are banging. I loved Balou the bear. I wish I had his carefree attitude to life.  I am not sure if this is the best song or it is ...

9. I wanna be like you from The Jungle Book. Again, a cracking track. "I'm the King of the Swingers, The Jungle VIP". What a line. I cannot really understand why loving these two tracks was so embarrassing, I think they are pretty punk rock at heart.

10. Oh what a beautiful morning!  One of my Dad's favourite songs. I used to love it as a kid, then I decided that it was horribly uncool. Now when I hear it, I think of Dad belting it out in the kitchen on a Sunny Sunday morning. What is not to love!

What are your guilty pleasures? One of the differences I noticed on the recent Stag weekend is that the current bunch of teenagers seem far less obsessed with being cool than we were. One of the early False Dots songs had a chorus which went "We live in a society, we kid ourselves is free, but when we look down deep inside, were prisoners of you and me". The biggest irony was that when I wrote that I was a prisoner of my own musical prejudices. 

Here is the playlist. If it doesn't make you smile, then you are a right miserable sod, just like I was at sixteen!

I thought I'd add a little video for you. This is rather inspired by the songs above. I hope one day, someone says it's their guilty secret. 

 

And if you can make it down to the Dublin Castle tomorrow for our gig at the Dublin Castle (starts 2pm)

The False Dots next Gig

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