World Exclusive! The Barnet Eye publishes transcript of Sir Keir Starmer discussing Mandelson appointment with Morgan McSweeney

 One of our customers, who buys guitar strings, works in the Cabinet Office. They kindly shared an official secret transcript of the conversation between Sir Keir Starmer and his cabinet secretary Morgan McSweeney, discussing the proposed appointment of Peter Mandelson as US Ambassador in an act of supreme public interest. I have transcribed this and burned the original copy, so PC Plod can't work out who the leaky source is. 

Sir Keir: Morgan, I have some reservations about Peter and this appointment. He is associated with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein and the Democrats are seeking full disclosure of all of the documents. This could blow up in our faces. Surely we should choose a solid career diplomat.

MM: I have spoken to Peter and he has categorically assured me that there is nothing in the allegations. As you know, he has no interest in young girls and any contacts with Epstein were simply part of larger groups, where Peter was seeking to advance the UK's national interests.

SKS: But, how can I put this, Peter has a bit of form for not being entirely frank with people, in regards to his activities. Can we really trust him?

MM: Peter is someone who moves in the circles Trump moves in. We need someone on the inside who has a direct line to the president. 

SKS: But he was sacked for financial irregularities? 

MM: Oh don't be such a hypocrite. You have been sanctioned eight times for breaching the Parliamentary code. We all make minor indescretions. You know that the Tory press blows everything out of all proportion. If you are to succeed as PM, you need to have a backbone

SKS: But he has form for not being entirely honest, he has been sacked numerous times, can we trust his assurances. This is our most important ambassadoral role

MM: Has your wife ever asked you if her bum looks big in an  outfit? Did you tell the truth? Peter has told the odd white lie, but only in the interests of the UK. Peter knows what to say to schmooz the likes of Trump. Surely that is more important than a few minor indescretions in the past. We will have access to the White House that other nations can only dream of. 

SKS: Well I guess you are right. I mean just because he maintained a relationship with a convicted Paedophile, has been sacked for all manner of financial shenanigans and seems to tell porkies whenever he opens his mouth, we need to look at the national interest and you are right, he will fit in over in Washington. A fine choice.

**** Of course I made all of this up. But it is 100% clear that this conversation must have taken place in some similar form. Starmer's position is totally untenable. He is either gullible as hell or a blithering idiot, or worse still, someone who is quite happy to surround himself with dishonest, dodgy people, who think it is cool to hang around with paedophiles. I am sorry, but that is not someone who is fit to be PM. If he had any honour, he'd already have resigned. The Labour Party have made a monumental mistake blocking Andy Burnham, who for all his faults is outside of the cricle of doom. God Help us all in the UK. However there is one aspect of this that gives me hope. Starmer will go over this. We do not think that indulging paedophiles is OK. Look at America. Trump is President and he is not even one step removed from Epstein as Starmer was. Thank God WE DONT LIVE IN AMERICA

Friday Fun and the local gigs round up 6th February 2026

 It's grim out there, so in the long standing tradition of The Barnet Eye we will start with a joke to cheer you up. Today's joke was told to me by Simon Le Bon, back stage at the Underground Club in Stockholm on November 8th 1981. I'd seen them two nights before at The Ritz club and one of the roadies invited my girlfriend and me backstage for a bee with the band after we got chatting at the Bar. Simon and I hit it off, both being North London boys. He gave us free merch and the band signed it all. He also put us on the guest list for the show at The Underground two nights later, where we again went backstage and had a right laugh. 

Simon had lived in Hendon and we discussed the local pubs, he also confessed an addiction to TV cop shows. Like me, Simon loved The Sweeney. He then said "By the way, do you know why the Americans never made a version of Z cars, even though it was ground breaking and there was a lot of interest in the format from US channels". I replied "No?". Simon replied "Well you couldn't call a TV show Cop Car Zee could you".

It made me laugh. I've always had a soft spot for the band, even though they are not really what I normally listen to. Simon is a good bloke.

Anyway enough of that. I'll start with a date for your diary, the False Dots next gig

It is our drummer Gray "Rambo" Ramsey's birthday and it would be great to have as many people as possible down to show their love for Rambo.

The Dublin Castle is a really iconic London grassroots venue. It is worth a trip just to see the memorabilia on the walls, posters signed by Madness, Amy etc. Whenever you go, you are immersing yourself in London's Rock and Roll history.  The Venue was recently the subject of a brilliant piece on BBC Radio. Listen to it here. 

And on to the local gig round up. Follow the Barnet Music Facebook page for full details.

Friday 6th

Goodwin House East Barnet 2pm – 3pm Leon Knight (Solo artist)
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm Groove Rats (Rock/blues)
East Barnet RB Legion 8.30pm – £15 on door members £10 TB/DC (AC/DC Tribute night)
Queens Arms 8pm Karaoke

Saturday 7th
Edgware, The Three Wishes from 8pm (free) - 3d (Covers) 
Butchers Arms 9pm – midnight New Colours Soul funk/disco (4 piece)
Ye Olde Monken Holt 9.30pm – 11.30pm James Or (Acoustic covers)
Toolans 9pm –11.30pm Dylan
Lord Kitchener 8.30 pm - late Karaoke with Johnno
The Arkley Club 8.30pm - £5 cash on door Dream Circle (Covers 60s – present)

Sunday 8th
Bohemia Finchley - From 7pm £12 - 52nd Street (Jazz quartet) 
Kings Head 2pm – 4pm Nic Bennett
Ye Olde Monken Holt 7pm – 9pm Smokin Whiskers (Acoustic Covers)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available)
Toolans 8.30pm – 11pm Shane & Mervyn Owens
Bohemia3 Cellar Bar 7.30 -10.30 £10 Alex Webb and Tony Kofi
Monday 9th
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) Barnet Acoustics Session
Edgware, The Three Wishes from 8pm (free) Jans Jam night
Tuesday 10th
Edgware, The Three Wishes from 8pm (free) - 3d (Covers) 
The Builders Arms 8pm – 11pm Jamboree Jam Open Mic/Music Night (2nd Tuesday of month)
Wednesday 11th
Toolans 5pm – 8pm Two in Accord ft Mary O Rourke
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm Open Mic Night
Barrington 7.30pm – Johns Open Mic Night
Thursday 12th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm Irish Session
Sebright Arms Barnet 7.30pm Open Mic 
Maddens 8.30pm – 11pm Ronnie Gordon Legacy (ska, reggae, blue, soul, latin)
Friday 13th
Butchers Arms 9pm – midnight Dukes Of Öl (Covers)

Have a great weekend!

Rock and Roll Stories #58 - Man in a suit, girl in a car......

The 13th March (two days before our next gig) is the 40th anniversary of when The False Dots played the Hendon Rugby club supporting The Chevrons, a then well regarded local band. It was our fourth gig and it is fair to say it was a difficult night. The headliners were unpleasant towards us. They were older and patronising in their attitudes. When we started to play and get a good reaction, they got their sound man to nobble our sound. Luckily, we had a mate, who was a sound man and a member of the local bike club, who stepped in and normal service was resumed. The promoter, under pressure from the other band, then announced that he was not going to pay us (presumably with them getting all of the cash). As we'd brought most of the audience, this was clearly not a good idea. I informed him that if this happened, there would be a riot. The biker, who was an intimidating presence, had seen the vibe and came over. At this, the promoter handed over the cash. 

I was fuming. Paul Hircombe, our bassist suggested we go outside for a smoke to cool down. As I didn't want to watch the band, this was a good idea. They had really got my goat. Paul said "Why don't we go up the Hammers". I agreed. He then said "Before we do, lets trash their van". This also seemed like a good idea. So we did. As I recall, the computer arcade game Defender had just been released and so we decided to go up and spend the evening playing that. The band and about fifteen of our mates came with us. We had got a decent fee, so after paying the other band members, I had a bit of cash in my pocket. It was one of those nights, where there was an elephant in the room. None of us wanted to talk about the gig. We'd played ok and got a decent reception, but they all knew I had the hump and was hot headed at such times. They didn't want me to get any more irritated than I already was. So we talked about everything else.

There was a girl from Orange Hill School, a classmate, who I fancied and who had come with us. I had decided to make a move, but whilst I was at the bar, she'd gone to the little girls room and on the way back, a guy in a suit, maybe 25, started chatting her up. There was no reason why he shouldn't, we were not going out. He was what you may describe as a bit flash. He was also a bit of "W" anchor (IMHO). To my relief, she was not impressed with his chit chat and when I returned to the table, she came back. We started talking, when the guy turned up at our tabl and said to her "Why are you hanging around with this loser, come with me and I'll take you in my BMW down to a brilliant night club in the West End and we'll have a great time". 

I am not a violent person, I am not a nasty person. But this was simply rude, unpleasant and boorish.  stood up. I am 6'1 and so towered over him. Much as I wanted to thump him, what I really wanted to do was far more cruel. I said "You do realise God gave people like you money, because he short changed you in the looks, wit, intellect and humour department. If she wants to have the worst evening of her life, I don't mind, it's her choice, she can go with you. But what you don't understand is that I've got an electric guitar and I make rock and roll music and all the flashy cars in the world, that I am guessing your rich Daddy bought you, will never make up for the fact that you have no style and are as dull as dishwater and you will never be rock and roll". I looked at the young lady and all my friends. They all burst out laughing and he stormed off. The young lady in question then said to me "What a creep, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen". It was quite cathartic for me. My malice dissipated and the rest of the evening was quite pleasant. Like many such evenings, I can't really recall much of the rest of it and even if I could I wouldn't tell you!

About a week later, I was with Paul in our studio. We'd been listening to some Ska and Reggae. We had a recording session coming up with Ray Randall at his studio in Colindale. Paul was keen to write a Ska/Reggae song for the demo. We got talking about the incident and Paul came up with the lyric "Man in a suit, girl in a car, where you gonna drive to not to far". We started jamming a riff and soon had the basis of a song. We collaborated to finish the lyrics off. It was about young men, who have a few quid and buy a flash suit and car to impress girls. The word Yuppie wasn't invented then, but Thatcher was in power. It foretold what we'd see at the end of the decade. 

Like many of our songs, it started with an incident. I am not sure that anyone other than me and Paul really had a clue or cared what it was about. About a week before the demo, a mate of ours, a local Jamaican who dealt a bit of weed was down transacting some business with Paul. He turned up mid rehearsal. Paul was excited by our new reggae song and asked him if we could play it to him. He was a chilled out dude and said yeah. As we bashed it out, his head was nodding, large spliff in mouth and he was clearly enjoying the vibe. At the end, Paul excitedly said "What do you think?". He replied "White boys can't play reggae music. You should call the number False Dub".  He then said "It's got a nice groove man, but it isn't reggae music". 

I was a bit deflated, but when I discussed it with Paul, he correctly pointed out that Madness were not really reggae but they had done just fine. We are the False Dots and we do False Dub! When we came to record it, we got Paul to sing it. Paul had a great voice, in the slightly whimsical Syd Barratt style. Sadly, the demo wasn't great and the tape sat in a draw for thirty nine and a bit years, never played. 

Recently Boz Boorer told me that he had a bloke who could transfer old master tapes to digital. I gave him a stack of tapes and for the first time in a very long time, I heard Paul's voice. He had passed away in 2012, so it was a bit meotional. Out of curiosity, I ran the track through some AI Mastering software at the studio. It sounded amazing. After some discussions with Boz, I am now planning to release a retrospective album of old tracks by The False Dots later in the year, remastered and tarted up. I am not sure if the world is waiting for this, but there are some very decent tunes in there. As to the "Man in a suit", never saw him again....

The False Dots are still going and play the Dublin Castle in Camden Town in a matinee show on Sunday 15th March from 1.45pm.

Although we won't be performing False Dub, we do have a fine selection of Ska/Pop/Punk tunes for your delectation and you can be guaranteed a party.

In fact it will be a very big party, because it is our drummer, Mr Graham James Ramsey's birthday. So we want to make it extra special for him!

The failure of the British Education system Part 1 - Why no pupil should ever be excluded from education

 No. We have not got it right in the UK. I could probably write a million words on what we've got wrong and why, but I will keep it relatively short. Where to start? Stabbings. County Line gangs. Petty Vandalism. If I was to ask you to visualise the perpetrators in your mind, I can take a reasonable stab at what I think you'd imagine. If I was to ask you then to visual the lifethat lead to that person appearing in your mind, I can also make a reasonable stab at guessing the answer you'd give. Of course, the person you are imagining doesn't really exist. They are a mosaic of stories you've heard in the news, people you've seen on the bus and street corners, or even the person who nicked your jewellery.

I asked Google "What percentage of the prison population cannot read or write". This is the answer the Google AI gave

Approximately 50% of the UK prison population is functionally illiterate, meaning they possess reading and writing skills at or below the level expected of an 11-year-old. Some estimates suggest up to 65% of prisoners struggle with literacy, which is over four times higher than the general population. 

Interestingly, as I typed the query, it suggested "What percentage of the prison population is foreign", which means that is the most popular query. The answer "Foreign nationals made up 12% of the prison population". 

It then suggested "What percentage of the prison population is black", which means that is the second most popular query. The answer "Black people make up approximately 12% to 13% of the prison population in England and Wales."

The harsh truth is that illiteracy is what drives the majority of crime in the UK, not foreigners, etc. Given that everyone in the UK is supposed to go to school from the age of 5 to 16 or 18, we have to ask why so many people are let down. 

Sadly the root cause is simple. It is school league tables. You want to send your kids to the school which has the highest place in the league table. It sets them up for life. Schools know this so they want the 'best' pupils. The 'best' schools chuck anyone out who is dusruptive and under performing. Once pupils are excluded for performance and bad behaviour, they have an albatross around their necks. The only schools that will take them are the ones that no one really wants to go to. 

In my humble opinion, this is completely immoral. To me the best school is the one that improves the life chances of its pupils. Not the one that takes the well behaved kids, of well off parents, who have private tuition, to ensure they will always succeed in life. Does the nine year old daughter or son of an alcoholic single mother, who acts as a carer for their parent, nit deserve the best opportunities at the best school?

When a pupil is disruptive and under performing at school, there is always a reason. I know, I was that kid. The reason was I am dyselxic. I didn't even know until I was 33. At primary school, I had remedial reading sessions, as I couldn't functionally read. I used to deliberately get sent out of class, as I preferred standing in the corridor to having the stress of being ridiculed by teachers. At the age of 14, things fell into place. I still got relatively poor marks, but I had got into music and it gave me a focus.

Sadly, in this day and age, such things as county line gangs pick up troubled young people and offer them the illusion of money and status. I had a stable and strong family background. If I hadn't I have no idea what my future would have been. We didn't have league tables then. The nuns at St Vincents rarely gave up on anyone. Now schools are obsessed with OFSTED tables and I would have dragged the school down. Sadly for many that means they are simply not welcome. I asked Google how many children are excluded in the UK. The answer shocked me "In 2023/24, exclusions from state schools in England reached their highest level since 2006, with over 10,000 children (10,885) receiving a permanent exclusion and nearly 955,000 suspensions. "

Now that is a mind boggling figure. Nearly a million suspensions in a year. From a schools perspective, a suspension is a handy way of making life easy for the schools administrators and teachers. For the pupil, it means that they are being failed. Depravation of education means theft of life choices. I do not believe that any child should ever be suspended or expelled. I believe that if a child's behaviour warrants separation from other children, then schools or local authorities should do two things. The first is to find out why and the second is to fix it. That may mean being educated at a different location. That may mean one to one tuition. That may mean collecting and dropping the child back home, to ensure no truancy. That may mean assigning child psychologists to get to the bottom of the problem. That may mean proper support for parents who cannot cope. But it would also mean that young people get a chance in life. 

There are almost 100,000 people in prison and half can't read or write. We could fix that for the next generation. It would make life better for everyone in the UK. It would lower our taxes as we'd need less prisons and less police. I suspect that it would lower alcohol and drug related crime enormously. 

My view is that the education system has no interest at all in difficult and disruptive students. They are simply a problem to be got rid of. The tragedy of it, is that I passionately believe that many 'difficult' students are highly intelligent have a real contribution to make. Sadly the system is run by people who are too lazy to realise this or even be bothered to do anything about it. 

To be continued.....

Peter Mandelson and why Sir Keir Starmer should sack himself

 Unlike most people who have an opinion on Peter Mandelson, I've met him. I must add that it was in a business not a leisure setting and it was back in the days when Gordon Brown invited him back into the government, following one of his many sackings. I hadn't been a fan, but I was impressed by his grasp of his brief as business secretary. I was never a Blairite and I hadn't been a fan, but it was fascinating to see him in action. What became 100% clear to me was that he seemed to have a cast iron belief that he was a genius and everyone else in the room was a blithering idiot, who unfortunately had to be humoured. I have long been fascinated by the way people behave, what their body language tells you and the signals they give off. Mandelsons whole manner is "I am in charge here, don't bother arguing, this is the way we will do this". In most people that would be completely insufferable, he had a grasp of detail and the matters at hand that meant no one even wanted to challenge him. He instinctively identified the important people in the room (not me) and turned the charm on. For the rest of us, I am not sure if he even realised we existed and after any of us spoke there was little or no acknowledgement of what we had said, although five minutes later he was repeating this verbatim as if it was all his work. I've met all manner of politicians over the years, including Thatcher, Jim Callaghan, Ed Balls, Ed Milliband, Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell, Sor Charles Kennedy to name a few that come to mind. Meeting Mandelson was different. He was the only one who left me questioning whether I actually existed at all. What was interesting was that the other people I went with were either completely over awed by his charm or his brilliance or both. 

I saw something else.  I realised that Mandelson was an incredibly intelligent, shrewd and calculating individual. He saw his role as business secretary primarily as a vehicle to get Gordon Brown re-elected as Prime Minister. He made it 100% clear that every decision he made as business secretary between then and the election would be based on how it would play in key marginals. He was not interested in whether it would be good in the long term for the UK. His view as that Labour getting re-elected was the absolute be all and end all of the matter. I got the impression that if he could bulldozer the bits of marginal constituncies that had Tory voters, he'd happily do it. He wasn't at all interested in what was good for staunch Labour areas or Tory areas. Due to NDA's I never said a word at the time. As what I am saying is not relevant to the business I was doing and is just my personal observations of the man, I think it is safe to recall these impressions.

I left with the view that Mandelson was someone who I would never like or trust, but I completely understood why Brown saw him as a necessary evil. Mandelson correctly identified that Brown had let things drift and the ship needed to be tightened up. To this day, I think that the reason the Tories didn't get a majority in 2010 is because Mandelson had got them focussed on the politics rather than the distractions. I suspect that if Brown had bitten the bullet and brought him back six months earlier, they may even have won. By the time of the election, I'd left the Labour party and when I studied their material in 2010, I saw the imprint of Mandelson all over it. 

I mention this because I think it gives some insight into why Sir Keir Starmer appointed Mandelson as a ambassador to the USA. What was clear to me is that Mandelson was very good at targeting people who he thought mattered and making them feel special. I could see this in the meeting we had. My boss went in being very sceptical of Mandelson and leaving thinking he was a genius. But that was sixteen years ago. A lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then and any Prime Minister worth his salt would realise that Mandelson should be dealt with using a very long bargepole. I am sure that Mandelson persuaded Starmer that Mandelson and Trump moved in the same circles and they had a good personal relationship. The trouble is that those circles were centered around convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. I simply refuse to believe that Starmer was unaware of this fact. Mandelson's statement that because he was gay, he didn't see any of that sort of behaviour is simply untenable. He is the type of guy who is well briefed about everyone and everything. Sadly, if you know a bunch of rich men, with unsavoury nocturnal habits, that is a very powerful tool to use if you want to climb the greasy pole which is the worlds political scene. 

Sir Keir Starmer has the entire weight of the civil service, MI5, MI6, Special Branch, GCHQ etc at his disposal. The concept that none of these said "Prime Minister, this idea of yours to make Peter Mandelson the US Ambassador is a very brave decision, do you know who he was friends with and that the Democrats are hell bent on ensuring all of the papers are released". Now even if you personally were not bothered that the bloke you wanted as ambassador liked to hang around with very unsavoury people, common sense is that you should say "Well on reflection, it may not be the best idea".

But Sir Keir Starmer didn't say this. He appointed Mandelson and has landed up in a situation that doesn't require Mystic Meg's foresight to see was always going to be a disaster. I can see how some people may be taken in by Mandelson, he knows how to press peoples buttons, but this wasn't about a nice chat at a party. It was about selecting the best person to represent us at the court of the President of our biggest and most powerful ally. Sir Keir Starmer could have selected the best career diplomat at his disposal, one with zero risk and contacts across the board in Washington., who could have ensured that the UK was properly briefed and had dialog with all camps (that is what career diplomats do). But he chose Mandelson, because Mandelson and Trump seemingly moved in the same rather grubby circles. 

What disturbs me most is why Mandelson was seemingly so fascinated with Epstein. I can see why the likes of Trump and the artist formerly known as Prince (Andrew) were. A cursory glance at the pictures tell that story. But Mandelson? Today we learned of claims that Epstein paid Mandelsons partner a huge sum of money. Now Mandelson has claimed it never happened, but in my experience, the reasons that people behave badly are almost always because they want sex, money or both. If you want to know the truth, follow the money. Mandelson claims he wasn't interested in the sex parties as girls isn't his thing. He claims that he didn't receive the money. What was the basis of his friendship with Epstein then. I can't see them swigging beers and talking about Arsenal? 

Which again comes back to Sir Keir Starmer. Did he ever ask Mandelson what was the basis of his relationship with Epstein. Starmer is a barrister and this question is the obvious one. Starmer seems to have gone to ground. I can see exactly the reasons why Starmer appointed Mandelson. What I can't see, for the life of me, is why he ignored all of the reasons he shouldn't. It is called judgement and it is 100% clear that Starmer has no sense of judgement at all. How many times did Mandelson get sacked, yet Starmer still appointed him? How many warnings did Starmer get about his inappropriate friends? 

I have to say that until relatively recently, I thought Starmer was an intelligent bloke, who was having a few problems getting to grips with a very difficult job, in turbulent times. What the Mandelson fiasco has laid bare is that he simply has no sense of judgement at all. If Keir Starmer had any decency at all, he'd call a press conference, apologise to the people of the UK and the USA for appointing Mandelson and then announce that he's sacking himself, because he's realised he lacks the judgement required to do the job. 

If I wake up tomorrow and Hell has frozen over, I will know he's taken my advice. As for whether Mandelson should be in the House of Lords. The further away this man is from the corridors of power, the better for decency and honesty in UK politics. I can recall talking to one of my colleagues about Mandelson after the meeting. They said "Blimey, I wouldn't want to be on the worng side of him". I repled "To be honest, I am not sure I want to be on the right side of him either, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him".  Sadly for Starmer, he failed to see what was obvious to me in 2009. 

The Sunday Reflection #75 - How will you pay your bills when AI nicks all of your money

I had a bizarre and worrying dream. I went to the butchers to get our Sunday Roast and there was a big queue of people outside, many were irate. It seems that no one had any money to pay for their sausages. Our butcher Gerard was saying "Sorry I can only serve you if you have cash". I couldn't really figure out what was going on, but I realised that the reason was quite simple. Everyone's cards and payment apps were not working. Then someone said "The big AI has nicked all of our money". I realised that an AI had gone rogue and hacked everyone's bank accounts and nicked all of the money. I realised that as there were no bank branches, there was nowhere to get any cash, even if you had any money in your bank account. The Big AI had also closed the internet and mobile phone networks down. In a flash, we were back to where we were in about 1982. Can you imagine a world where a giant rogue AI had hacked everything and nothing that used technology and was networked worked anymore?

When I woke up I started to think about the brave new world my head had invented. Could a rogue AI do that? Just suppose it implanted itself on everyone's smartphones, everyone's laptops, everyone's smart speaker. Imagine that an AI had become sentient and decided that it was going to take over everything. Imagine if we had to switch off all of our technology. Imagine if every bank in the world lost all the data on its computers. Imagine that such a rogue AI decided who could have electricity and gas. The one vulnerability of any AI system is that it needs a supply of electricity. If the power goes off, then the AI goes off. So to some extent, it would need human being to keep the power stations running. 

I wondered how long it would take society to re-adapt to a word without tech. In the short term, we'd have to have some system of barter and exchange to get goods. Everyone who's job involved sitting on any sort of computer would instantly be redundant and unless they had a sock full of cash under the bed, they would be completely skint. Railways wouldn't work, as signalling system would not function. No air travel as no air traffic control. When your car ran out of petrol, there would be no more. When you turn on your taps, the water would stop flowing. Riots would be hard to organise, as no one would have whatsapp to know where to meet up. In the short term, people would have to sell valuables just to get some cash for food.

I suspect that we'd actually adapt far more quickly than you might expect. I got to thinking, would it actually be better, once we'd got over the shock of no radio, no TV, no internet and no transport. You see, food still grows, we'd just have to make a bit more effort procuring it. Cash would come back rather quickly. We'd have to go out and talk to each other. I suspect that we'd have a renaissance of pubs, live music and entertainment. We'd realise that a lot of the things we get very upset about would simply disappear. Imagine a world where you'd never have to listen to another rambling speech by Donald Trump. A world where if you wanted to watch football, you had to go to the match. A world where if you want to listen to music, you have to go to a venue and pay cash to see them. A world where the artist got the money, not tech platforms.

I wonder if our government has a plan for such an occurrence. There are all manner of hostile players who would love to develop just such an AI. Imagine if Putin or Xi could turn off our IT and nick all the money from our banks, or even malicious hackers. There is absolutely no technical reason why such a scheme couldn't be executed. I used to work in IT and I had to conduct a review of the vulnerabilities of one of our major high street banks. My boss was going to an international conference to discuss the threats from cyber hackers and hostile states. We drew up a map of the entire IT network and worked out all of the vulnerabilities and weak entry points. We then enacted a plan to try and plug all of the gaps. When my boss gave his talk, he was amazed that almost none of his peers in other organisations had even started to consider such things. That was ten years ago. I am sure things have moved on, but what I also became aware of is that with the advent of quantum computers, even the sensible precautions we'd taken may not be enough. With the rise of AI, there are technologies that could theoretically outsmart the best defences of networks. Although I think the chances of a total wipeout of all IT systems by a malicious AI are low, I expect there to be a massive disaster caused by rogue AI systems at some point in the next five years. I am stuffing that sock full of cash under the bed as we speak

The Saturday List #374 - Ten things I have realised that Dad was right about

39 years ago today was possibly the worst day of my life. I was awoken early, by a phone call from my brother Laurie telling me that my Dsd had died. It was a massive shock. He had been on holiday in Florida and having the time of his life. He was spending money like water, much to my mothers annoyance. He had a new credit card and he was maxing it out to the limit. What I hadn't realised is that my Mum's sister had died and they had returned. Dad had an anuerism in the early hours, we believe brought on by the cold weather. 

I was getting on well with my Dad at the time. This had not always been the case. We are both strong characters and had several stand up punch ups. We disagreed on many things. He was Tory, I was Labour. He was a staunch Roman Catholic, I considered myself an atheist back then. He believed that the carpet bombing of Berlin was the correct thing to do. I didn't. There were many things we disagreed on. Dad thought I was a complete idiot. He didn't get my music, my fashion, my politics. my sense of humour. It was reciprocal. The last time we met, we had a great beer and a chat and it was civilised. He told me that he'd completely misunderstood me and that he realised I was a strong character who did things the way I wanted. He had realised that I argued because I believed in what I was doing, noi just to annoy him. It was the only grown up conversation we ever really had. Then he was gone. Over the years, I came to realise he was right about many things I had thought he was completely wrong about. To mark his memory, I thought I'd publish a list.

1. Electric Blankets. My Dad was from sub tropical Australia and hated the cold. He hated London's weather. His solution was to lie in bed every morning, drinking tea, reading the papers, ,doingt the puzzles and saying the Rosary and chilling out with the electric blanket on. When I was a little kid, it was a real treat to jump in with him, in his nice warm bed and do the puzzles and say the Rosary with him. By the time I was a teenager, I thought it was ridiculous behaviour. However in recent months, we bought an electric blanket and I find I am morphing into my Dad. Tehre is nothing better than lying in bed, doing a Soduku with the leccy blanket on. 

2. Big Juicy Steaks. When Dad died, I was a non meat eater. I did eat fish. Dad took this as a sign I was an idiot. I felt that farming techniques were cruel. Dad grew up on a farm and saw farm animals as food. When we had our last chat, he said "If the reason you are not eating meat is because you think farming is cruel, would you eat a wild deer you'd shot if you were hungry?". My reply was that I am not into killing animals. In 2000, I got really ill with a vitamin deficiency. The doctor advised me to eat meat, especially liver. The symptoms immediately disappeared. I guess Dad was right all along. I do love a big, juicy steak, but I only buy quality meat from proper butchers.

3. Songs should have melodies. Dad simply didn't get most punk rock. He said it had no tune. When he heard our band, he advised us to get some songs "with proper tunes". He was right. When I started listening, the music got better. In 1986, Dad came to see us at Grahame Park Festival. He was very impressed and said he didn't realise we were a proper band.

4. The Labour Party. Dad told me that he hated the Labour Party as it stifled creativity and innovation. I thought this was absolute rubbish. Sadly, both Sir Keir Starmer and the Barnet Labour Party have proven him right. I don't think the Tories are any better.

5. Police and Thieves. Dad believed that the job of the Police was to catch criminals and lock them up. I believed that their role should be wider and they should have a role in building communities. I have come to realise that the Metropolitan Police does not have the resources to do this and should concentrate on its core role. Dad explained that the place to rehabilitate criminals was in prisons. He explained that it was 'Unchristian to lock people up with no effort to get them to sort their lives out'. He was, of course, right.

6. Muslims. Dad worked in the Middle East. His views on Muslims and Arabs were complicated to say the least and by todays standards overtly racist. However, he also told me that many of the Muslims he worked with and had dealings with were fine people. He would tell the story of a crew in his squadron who were Indian Muslims. They were struggling with the stress of missions. As they were devout, they didn't drink. Dad spoke to the Medical Officer, who ordered them to have three large Whiskys in the mess, after every mission, to help with the stress. He also said that they were not to drink at any other time. They survived the war and in 1982, Dad met one at a reunion. He said he'd only got through the war because of that. He had not drank since.  Dad said that he'd realised that they were just like everyone else. Good and bad in all communities.  I had thought Dad a terrible racist, but his views were more nuanced. I just couldn't see past the language he used.

7. Comedians. Dad would say "Funny is funny". He'd laugh at the likes of Bernard Manning, Jim Dvidson, etc. By the time I was in my late teens, I found them revolting. However, I had missed one element. Such people were great comedians. I didn't like their material, but they were good at delivering it and they used the material as this was what people wanted to hear at the time. About five years after Dad died, I was listening to Fred Housego on the Radio, He played a selection of Bernard Manning jokes, all of which were clean, funny and expertly delivered. I realised that he was a brilliant comic and could deliver any material. As Fred Housego said "It's a bit of a shame that he didnt' do more of this".

8. Spaghetti. Dad once advised me never to order Spaghetti. It seemed an odd thing to say. But it is impossible to eat proper spaghetti elegantly and without making a mess. He was right.

9. The Church and Priests. I stopped going to Church in 1976 as I didn't like a couple of the priests at the Sacred Heart. We had a massive fight about it. Dad told me I was an idiot and I'd go to hell. When we had our last chat, we revisted the subject. He told me that I'd made the mistake of thinking The Church was the priests who said mass. He said it wasn't. It was the billion people in the large community. He said it was our job to be good people and do good. He confided that what really upset him about our fight, was that he knew I was right about the priests. He said he'd have knocked one of them out, if he hadn't been a priest. He said he just couldn't properly explain at the time. He said that if you went to church, you would know what was happening in the community and have the opportunity to do good things. He was right. I try and ignore priests I don't like now.

10. Fashion and clothes. Dad used to despair of our punk rock fashions. He told me I'd never get a nice girlfriend if I looked like a tramp. He confided that he was absolutely amazed that I seemed to have a constant supply of pretty girls who seemed to like me as a teenager. He couldn't understand why they would even look at someone who wore scruffy jeans and t-shirts. Times had moved on. However, ten years after he passed away, I was chatting to my nephew. He was moaning that he couldn't get a girlfriend. I said "Cut your hair, develop a style in clothes and always look as if you've had a bath". I then gave him a haircut, removing his long, greasy locks. WIthin a few weeks he'd giot a lovely girl. He nicked my style, the red check shirts (which is was a bit of a trademark for many years). It was only after that I realised I sounded like my Dad!

Saving Londons music venues - One pint at a time! (and the local music round up)

 I have neglected the subject of saving London's music venues a bit recently. I've been too busy trying to save my own one, Mill Hill Music Complex. The post Covid era is proving to be really challenging for us. People have changed their behaviour and we have had to adapt a lot of the things we do. I will save that for another post. Today we are looking at London's live music scene. 

As a working musician, promoter and venue owner, it is clear to me that no one in any sort of power has a clue about how the music industry actually works at a grassroots level. This is an area that is vital to the UK's music industry, which is worth around £5 billion in direct revenue to UK PLC and ten times that in indirect benefit.

Lets start with a few basic principles. No one ever visited London to sunbathe on the River Thames. People come here because we are a cultural hub. A visitor to London can see museums, shows, gigs, pubs restaurants, etc unrivalled anywhere in the world. Every trip to a show or a museum for most people will involve some sort of food & drink, be it a pub, a restaurant, a cafe or even just a bottle of water from a convenience store. All of this generates jobs and prosperity. That is without the huge sums recorded music generates from radio, TV, websites and streaming services. But no musician wakes up one morning with a career, without lots of hard work and learning the ropes. That is where grassroots venues come in. 

However, what most people don't really get is that live music in small venues is almost never staged because the owner of the establishment likes music. They may, but the reason they put music on is to boost footfall and sell more drink, and food at venues like Pizza Express. In short, no matter how much a venue owner/manager loves music, it has to pay its way. In most pubs and clubs, it is not the owner who books artists. This is down to the promoter. Often the promoter rents the venue (not always) and then sells tickets, covering their costs (sound man, doorman, advertising, wages) and paying bands. If enough punters come in and the pub owners/managers make more than if they'd not had music on, then the venue will be successful. However the venue owner may decide that food or comedy is more lucrative. The promoter also needs to make a profit. It is one of the most thankless tasks. Most bands put little or no effort into promoting their own shows. The False Dots have played around 40 gigs since lockdown and of the bands we've played with (around 100), maybe only 10-15 have brought more than a dozen people with them. Many haven't even posted links to the show or the ticket website. Most professional pluggers know that events at small venues have a promotion cycle of 6-8 weeks, where you need to be constantly engaging and raising interest. One or two posts won't do. You need to post constantly and post things that are different and engaging. If you don't, then people won't come. If they don't come, then the promoter and the pub make no money and will not survive. 

But just getting people to gigs is nt enough. You need your fans to drink in the venue. If your fans go to the Wetherspoons down the road, before they turn up, then they might as well not come as far as the pub operator is concerned. The Wetherspoons may be cheaper, but they are not putting the music on. Of course getting people to pay £7 a pint rather £4 at the cheapo pub is no easy task, but it is at least worth trying. 

The sad truth is that grassroots venues get no help from anyone.In some ways, this means that you have to be good to survive, but it also means that you are always walking a tightrope. The False Dots have had the honour of a residency at legendary London venue, The Dublin Castle. We are mates with Tony, the promoter. We know the challenges he faces. We see the good things he does and why he does the things we don't like! Tony is a music lover, who cares about the bands. He also understands the finances and the dynamics of making a venue work. At the end of the day, he has to pay his engineers, his doormen and he has to pay his bills. 

Tony knows that when he books The False Dots, we will plug our gigs, we will get our fans down and we will have a drink in the bar with them after the show. This means that the Landlord is also happy. So many bands finish and don't even have a pint in the pub. It infuriates me when I see it, because I understand it is a business. 

I contributed to a Parliamentary Inquiry into live music. Sadly, nothing useful came out of it. There are several things that the Government and local authorities should be doing. These are practical things that will make a huge difference.

1. Cut business rates for venues by 75%. I would pay for this by doubling rates on bookmakers, which I believe are a corrosive industry. This would encourage pubs to add music and arts events to the menu. I would suggest a minimum of 50 events a year. This would make venues get creative. I would also require evidence of promotion of such events. 

2. Introduce agent of change legislation, protecting established venues from noise and nuisance complaints from neighbours, especially in new developments.

3.  Give tax breaks for companies investing in soundproofing for live music, rehearsal and recording. 2) Designate established music related sites (venues, studios, etc) as protected sites with stringent planning rules around change of use planning applications. 

4. Require local authorities to ensure that provision of spaces for music and art are integral parts of all large scale planning applictions. Put restrictions on these to guarantee that they are provided and not repurposed.

5. Require local authorities to ensure that music venues are not left empty to rot by developers seeking to get around planning laws. This could be done by setting quadruple business rates on such properties which are left empty for more than six months.

All of this would re-invigorate the grassroots arts and music scene. 

And on to our local music scene. Justin case you weren't aware, The London Borough of Barnet has plenty going on. My band, The False Dots have two great gigs coming up (click for details)

And here are this weeks gigs! (follow the Barnet Music Facebook page for details and updates).

Friday 30th
Lord Kitchener 8.30pm – late One Man Stand
Queens Arms 8pm  Karaoke
Barrington 8.30pm – closing Johnnos Karaoke
Butchers Arms 8pm – Midnight Fast and Bulbous (DJ)
Saturday 31st
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm The Past Unperfect Trio (Country/blues)
Toolans 9pm –11.30pm Dan McHugh Music (Irish plus 70s-00s music)
Queens Arms 9.30pm Soul Disco Band

Sunday 1st
Ye Olde Monken Holt 7pm – 9pm Hannah Harris (Covers)
Butchers 8.30 – 11.30pm Butchers Arms Jam Electric/Blues/Rock (Full backline available)
Toolans 8.30pm – 11pm Two in Accord

Monday 2nd
Ye Olde Mitre Inn, High Street 8pm – 11pm (stables room) Barnet Acoustics Session

Tuesday 3rd
The Lord Nelson 7.30- Open Mic Night (1st Tuesday of month)

Wednesday 4th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 11pm Open Mic Night

Thursday 5th
Ye Olde Monken Holt 8.30 – 10.30pm Irish Session
Sebright Arms Barnet 8ish Karaoke (fortnightly)

Friday 6th
Butchers Arms 9pm – 11.30pm Groove Rats (Rock/blues)
Goodwin House East Barnet 2pm – 3pm Leon Knight (Solo artist)

And finally, the Friday joke!

Thanks to our mate Robert Wilkinson. It is terrible, but it did make me laugh.

My dog keeps barking at common people.
Turns out I've bought a Jarvis Cocker spaniel.

— Robert Wilkinson (@robertwlk) January 18, 2026

You never know, Nigel Farage might make us all millionaires!

 I read the news today (oh boy). Suella Braverman has become the latest defector from The Tories to Reform. There was a post on Facebook that said there are more of Liz Truss's cabinet in Reform than there are on the Tory front bench now. I haven't check this fact (life is too short), but as I chatted with a member of Mill Hill Services club earlier about the defection, a strange thought ocurred to me. Truss sparked off a mini inflation bubble with her dodgy budget, that caused a run on the pound and lead to her getting the sack before the lettuce wilted (as a side note, was the lettuce the greatest ever gift to UK journalism from the Daily Star?). However you look at it, the unreformed (forgive the pun) Trussites are seemingly gravitating toward Farage on mass. It is clear that Farage must be a fan of Trussonomics, as he's only been too keen to welcome them. But what does this actually mean, if Reform make the next government.

I was thinking of my Dad. He always said that his ambition in life was to bea  millionaire. His plan to acheive it? He did the pools every week. Although he hated football, he was fascinated by the pools and would study form. He'd ask me my opinion, as the in house football expert, on which games I thought would be score draws. I'd make my predictions and always get it wrong. However if Dad was still alive, it is always possible that his dream would have been realised under a new Reform government. They are welcoming a whole bunch of failed politicians, who's polices spooked the market and kicked off an  inflation bubble. If such people won a general election with the sort of mandate that the polls seem to be predicting, there would be no one to stop them. Have they learned? This seems very unlikely,given Truss's pronouncements that she was right and everyone else is wrong. 

I asked Google's AI what it thought. It's reply "In summary, many economic analysts believe the large, uncosted tax cuts proposed by Reform UK in 2024 would likely have increased inflationary pressures, although the party argued its efficiency savings would make its plans sustainable. "

So Reform believe that they can pay for tax cuts with increased efficiency. Where have we heard that before. Forgive my scepticism, but I can only see two possible outcomes. Reform stick to their guns and we have a period of high inflation, or alternatively they break all their election promises and we learn they are actually just the Tory looney right under another guise. Of course, I am not an economist, so what do I know. But what inflation means is that you get paid more, but your money is worth less. So Dad might have been a millionaire, but his million pounds would only by a half of lager and a packet of crisps at the Services club, and even then, it's price would have doubled before he ordered a second pint, as happened in Germany in the 1930's. 

I am not a Reform suppoter and I do not wish them well electorally. But I have to say that I think they are making a massive mistake climbing onto the Truss bandwagon and signing up all her mates who nearly bankrupted the UK. I have to say that Dad's plan to win the Pools to become a millionaire was to me far more credible than the plans Liz Truss made to 'save the economy'. The cost of Dad's pools coupon didn't put a strain on our household finances and we had hours of fun making our selections.

The Sunday Reflection #75 - Another cup of tea please

My beautiful wife Clare is making me a lovely cup of tea as i write this. By the time I have finished the blog, my cup of tea will be finished as well. I love a nice cup of tea on Sunday morning. I have a little ritual I follow most Sundays. I get up (often with a mild hangover), go to the 8.30 mass at The Sacred Heart, then I come home and make breakfast for whoever wants it. Sometimes this will be bagels, cream cheese and Smoked Salmon from Yummies. Today I made omelettes. I have a special recipe that is influenced by Japanese street food. I fry up cabbage, onions, mushrooms and then whisk the eggs up with a bit of salt and pepper. This all gets mixed up. This morning Clare and Matt went first, then I added chorizo for the meat eaters. It was delicious (even if I say so myself). 

Once that has been scoffed, I start this series of blogs. My original brief, for this series was to take a look at life in a more spiritual (not with a religious tone) at life. As it has evolved, I've realised that it is often more interesting simply to look at things that have happened in the week and reflect on them. It has been a terrible week. An old work mate of mine passed away. During lockdown, he descended into a private hell of isolation and drink. His marriage broke down. He eventually lost his job last year and apparently he fell over drunk, banged his head and died. It is fair to say he always liked a drink a bit more than was good for him, but in recent years, it became the alpha and omega in his life.

I like a drink, I probably should drink a bit less, but I abstain 3-4 days a week. I am just as happy with a cup of tea most of the time. It is when I am with friends that I overdo it. Yesterday, I met my friends from North Wales in a pub in Shepherds Bush, had a couple of beers, went to Loftus Road to watch a brilliant game of football, that Wrexham won in the last minute of extra time, with a simply spectacular goal. They were 2-1 down at 90 mins and the Welsh boys were ecstatic. We then took a tube to Euston, had a couple more beers in the Doric Arch. We then had a tasty curry at the Great Nepalese. After that we bade farewell, then made our way home. As it was still relatively early, I picked up a bottle of wine at the Turkish shop in Mill Hill, which I shared with my wife and daughter. 

Yep, I know it's a bit too much. But it was a wonderful day. I didn't feel my best this morning. Not too bad but I have to say, a cup of tea or three is the order of the day. I might have a glass of wine with lunch today, nothing tomorrow, a few beers at Hadley on Tuesday and then probably nothing until Friday. Many cups of tea will be drunk. Although I know that I should drink less when I am out with mates, I also know that life would be less fun if I didn't drink at all.  I don't need a drink to have fun, but when I am with drinkers I thoroughly enjoy it. But the other side is that I enjoy a cup of tea and a chat just as much when its a non drinking situation. Actually that is not entirely true. It is almost impossible to get decent tea in a cafe or restaurant in the UK now. No one knows how to make it and it is ridiculously expensive. If I had the choice between tea or beer, I'd probably choose tea, but not the slop you get charged £3 a cup for in most London cafes these days. I don't know why it is so hard to use proper leaves and make it in a pot. I used to love the old cafe builders tea, that was so strong the spoon would stand up in it. These days, I drink my tea black. It is one of the few simple pleasures at home. in cafe, its just legalised mugging