The Sunday Reflection #87 - Even people who are not nice can enrich your life

 I never knew any of my Grandparents. My Dad's parents died before he met my mother. He didn't really talk too much about his mother, other than giving the impression that she was very bright and capable. They lived in the outback of Australia, his Dad was an engineer. Dad would tell stories of his genius for engineering. He was a specialist in boring wells and in the oil industry. In the Australian outback, artesian wells provided water that kept cattle stations and towns running and his expertise was highly sought after. Dad really never discussed what sort of a man he was. On my Mums side, all of my siblings got to meet my Grandmother. She was, by all accounts a lovely lady. I was hugely jealous. I am the youngest of six and I missed out on Nana, she passed two years before I was born, in 1960. 

However of all of them, the one who I am most curious and interested in is my Mothers Father, A certain James Fanning. Born in Dublin, his family had Republican links, but his father was a policeman in the Dublin Constabulary. After retiring as a Policeman, he had properties and used to get my Grandfather to collect debts. My mother told me he left Ireland as the family had IRA connections and he was getting hassle from the authorities. My cousin, who has done some research, suggests it may have been to get away from his dictatorial father. He stowed away on a boat to England, only it wasn't a boat to England. It was going to Argentina. When he didn't arrive in Liverpool and his food and drink ran out, he presented himself to the Captain and was made to work his passage, doing the worst work possible. When he arrived in Argentina, he hated it, but had to work their for six months, to pay for his passage home. When he eventually arrived in England, he met my Grandmother and got married. Apparently he was dapper and intelligent. However, fate intervened and he was conscripted into the Army, gassed and badly injured. When he got back, he was a different man. A bitter alchoholic. My mother was born in 1925 so never knew the old version. She just new a bitter man, who was selfish and often very embarrassing and unpleasant. She grew up hating him. He died in 1948 at 66, when his lungs failed. 

When I was a kid, most of the stories she told about him, were of his acts of selfishness and inconsideration. How he would eat all of the bacon when the family rations were given in the war. The kids got the bacon rind. How he would drink eight pints every day, regardless of family finances. How my Grandmother had to work to keep the family afloat and hide money and food from him for the children. How he embarrassed her when she brought boyfriends home. He would have a sixth sense. The only days she recalls that he didn't go to the pub was when she was bringing someone to meet the family. He would then proceed to humilate her and the chap would never be seen again, He would tale care to show the worst side of himself. 

When she met my Dad, an Australian pilot, and thet decided to get married, Dad had to ask for his permission. Mum was terrified. Dad said he'd meet him at the pub. That would spare Mums blushes. They got on like a house on fire. Permission was granted. Mum's fears were unfounded. Shortly before he died, she challenged him on his behaviour. He said "Laurie didn't care what I was like, he wasn't a snob, if those other fellas had really liked you, they'd not have cared either, they'd have wanted to save you from all this".

Sometime in the late 1990's, I was chatting with my Mother. She told me a startling thing. She said that she'd changed her mind about her Father. She had realised why he did what he did and why he was like he was. She had forgiven him. I was intrigued. She told me that she had once asked her mother why she had stayed with such a tyrant. The family all called him "The Encumberance". Her mothers answer saddened her. She said "I was lucky to still have a husband after the war, many didn't. The war changed him, but he gave me the best things in life". My Mum asked what she meant and she replied "All of you, my children are the best things in my life. I've never minded working hard and making sacrifices and seeing you all grow up happy has been the best thing in my life".

My mum then explained that she had been reflecting on many of the things her father told her and she'd realised that he was preparing his children for a harsh, unforgiving world. He told her he was delighted when she married my father, as he had an English name and she wouldn't have to put up with anti Irish prejudice. In London at the time, many hotels etc had signs saying "No blacks, No Dogs, No Irish". The Irish were assumed to be think and uncouth by many of the English, only fit for working as labourers. He was exceptionally intelligent. A socialist and an internationalist. He hated Nationalism in all of its guises. He ensured that my Mother understood this. He also said "The Boys will have to look after themselves, they will get by, you and your sisters will have to survive by using your brains". He told her that if she wanted to get on, she would have to take responsibility for everything. Women who rely on men, often end up with nothing. At the time, she thought this was his wallowing in self pity, but her and her sisters all, to some extent, benefitted from having this drummed into them. She was a far better businesswoman than my Father a businessman. She wouldn't fritter cash away in the bookies, orspend impulsively.

I was thinking about this conversation this morning. I often think about Mum on a Sunday morning. I miss her a lot, although towards the end of her life, she was not happy and I was actually relieved when she went. She was very intelligent and insightful. As I get older, I understand her relationship with her father much better. If she was around there are a lot of questions I'd have, but I will never know. One of the things that intrigues me most though, was whether she thought having a rather difficult father actually meant she was better prepared for the world as it really is.  We probably hate to admit it, but people who are not nice can enrich your life. In my life, people have badly let me down on a few occasions. Te perverse thing is that they've always ended up doing me a favour. Mind you, I am pleased that I did not have such a difficult relationship with my Dad. 

Have a wonderful Sunday. Here is a song I wrote a few years back when I was looking back on my own youth.

Normal blogging service will resume tomorrow

Greetings from Benidorm! Normal blogging service will be resumed tomorrow upon my return

 

Has anyone personally seen any benefits from Brexit?

 I’m writing this in Valencia. We travelled on Saturday. We had the joy of the new airport checks when we arrived. In truth for me it wasn’t too bad, the airport was empty and I sailed through. My wife wasn’t so lucky, the system failed to read her fingerprints. She was held up for 15 minutes. We were lucky. It got me thinking. Can anyone give me a single tangible benefit they have personally experienced as a result of Brexit? Spare us any ideological waffle. If something in your life is easier, cheaper or better I’d love to know. After ten years, we should be in a position where Nigel Farage has big long list. I’m a democrat so if it is to be reversed or undone, the British people should have some sort of vote. For me a majority for a party committed to Rejoin would be enough. Labour didn’t put that in their manifesto so can’t. But any vote must be on the basis of facts, not opinions.

The Saturday List #381 - My top six life mistakes

 Todays list is Saturday list #381 - It shouldn't be, but I made a numbering mistake and missed list 361-381 in the sequence and only realised when I got to list #499! So I had to atone my mistake. Anyway, I've reached the end of the gap, so I thought, like a good Catholic boy, I'd atone for my sins and confess my top ten life mistakes and my regrets. I have very few and I've had a great life, but these are the ones that I beat myself up over most. I've not included relationship mistakes. That would be unkind

1. Not speaking up when a Roman Catholic Priest described my cousin, who had Downs Syndrome as a vegetable. I was absolutely shocked by this. The Priest is well respected and well liked. I was raised a Catholic and taught to be deferential to Priests. My cousin did not hear, I may have reacted very differently if she had, but I have always felt I let myself down badly by not having the courage to pull him. The fact I could let down someone I loved really bothers me. 

2. In November 1981, I was living in Stockholm and went to see Swedish band Ebba Gron. At the gig were English punk band Theatre of Hate, who were having a night off. They went to check out the local competition. I got chatting to Billy Duffy, the guitarist, a fellow Man City fan. He offered me a job as a guitar tech, as his one had just left. I turned it down as I was happy with my girlfriend there. I have always regretted that. Billy went on to be the guitarist of The Cult and is a legend.

3. In November 1980, The False Dots made a demo with four songs on, one of which as called Fog. We played it to Ted Carroll at Chiswick records. When we recorded it, I removed all Craig Withecombes guitars and replaced them with a Korg Synth. Craig was furious, but it was the right decision. I'd borrowed the synth from a mate, who we called Moje. Ted loved Fog, hated the other tracks and told us to record some more stuff like that. Sadly I'd given the synth back to Moje. I should have listened and bought a synth! About a year later, Craig told me that he had realised I was right to put the synth on. 

4. In 1975, I made my O Level choices. I was under the deluded impression that I was academically gifted, so I chose physics, biology, French and chemistry.  The school suggested that as my grades were awful, I did building studies. As this meant a day out of school, I took this option. I scraped a C at physics and failed the others. To this day, Chemistry has baffled me. I wish I'd done art subjects. I wasted three years doing things I've never used. 

5. Not taking over the main role as lead singer of The False Dots in 1980, when Pete Conway quit the band. When we formed, it was always agreed that Pete would be the lead singer. When he left, I sang a few songs, but I didn't have the self confidence at the time to put my heart into it. I realised that I could hide behind the guitar. In 2021, over forty years later, when Allen Ashley left the band, I stepped up, out of necessity. I realised that I was a natural. I am not a great singer technically, but I think I am an excellent front man and I write songs that suit my voice. Had I realised this 41 years ago, the whole course of my life would've been different. The truth is that it is all about confidence. I have a degree of confidence now that I lacked then. 

6. Not having more kids. I never wanted any. In fact I was a bit cross when I found out my missus was pregnant. I thought I'd be a lousy father and the whole concept scared me to death. I hate doing things badly, but I saw no way I'd make a good parent. I am not sure I have but I picked my partner well and she is wonderful. I wish I had  few more of them running around now

Have a great weekend. Here's a tune for you! This is for all my Arsenal supporting mates. Enjoy while the moment is there!

Rock and Roll Stories #67 - The death of a dream

 When I saw the Ramones on the 6th June 1977 at The Roundhouse, it was the most important moment in my life. It was also the most exciting. I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be in a band. by 1990, I had totally fallen out of love with music. A cursory glance at the no 1's of the year gives a clue. The low point was in September. One of my favourite tracks, by one of my favourite artists hit the No 1 slot. When The Joker by The Steve Miller band hit No 1, I was horrified. I suppose I should have been delighted to see a track I love at the top of the charts, but it was there because it had been used in a rather brilliant Levi's advert. I felt that if the only way Steve Miller could get a No 1 in the UK was license a track for a Levi's ad, what was the point of it all?

The whole vibe of the music scene had changed. Most venues were operating 'pay to play' policies. Places such as The Rock Garden would give you 50 tickets and ask you for £100. You'd then be expected to sell the for  £5 each. They would say you could make £150. There were even worse examples. The False Dots were finding it impossible to get get gigs. It felt like we were putting a lot of effort in and it was all a complete waste of time. Ironically, some of the songs we were writing were excellent. The problem was that no one had much enthusiasm. We'd book rehearsals and band members wouldn't turn up or would be an hour late. There were no mobile phones, so I was getting more and more frustrated. 

One day, I walked down to the studio in the rain, waited an hour and a a half, no one showed up. I went home and decided I realised that the flame had gone out. I thought that rather than try and keep flogging the dead horse, I'd just put it out of its misery quietly. I didn't say anything, I just didn't arrange any rehearsals. After two weeks, no one had got in touch. A week later, Tony who was singing for us and was brilliant asked when we would be rehearsing again. I told him that I was taking a break. He was genuinely disappointed and I felt awful, but I knew it was right for me at the time. I never actually discussed it with Paul and Graham, I just stopped organising rehearsals, they didn’t seem bothered and we all got on with life.

I genuinely thought I was done with being in a band. It may sound strange but it was a huge relief. I felt no sense of loss, just a liberation to do other things. I put the guitar down and didn’t pick it up for ten years. I want done with music though. I had a studio business to build. But that’s another story

Jimmy Savile - Why did he get away with it?

 One of the most depressing, but enlightening moments of my life was when I was 20 and I went with my then girlfriend to Hendon Magistrates Court, to give her moral support when she testified against a dangerous driver who had knocked her off her bike. There were two cases before her. The first one, was a child molester, who had been exposing himself to young girls in the park. He was an extremely unpleasant character with a long string of convictions for similar offences. He span a cock and bull story that even I saw through immediately. Apprently he had a new girlfriend and was a reformed character. The magistrates let him off with a caution. I was completely disgusted. The next case was a retired milkman. The Police had stopped him for driving a car with a rusty bumper. The police considered it to be dangerous. He admitted that he should have noticed the rust. The result? A £200 fine and a 1 year ban from driving. He had also heard the previous case and asked the Magistrate if they really though his offence was worse than flashing at children. The Magistrate warned him to be quiet and told him he would be taken to the cells for contempt of court if he didn't leave. It gave me some idea of what the English legal system thinks is important. 

It was the first time in my life that I realised that whilst 99% of the population are revolted by people who abuse children, the people who actually make the law really don't care. I've been to court on a couple of other occasions since, to support friends. Each time, there have been similar instances of such miscarriages (IMHO) of justice. Had it happened just once, in Hendon, maybe I'd have put it down to an abberation. As someone raised in the Roman Catholic faith, I am sadly only too aware of the institutional toleration of child abusers. I must add that I personally have never seen it first hand. I know plenty who have. Many parents did not do the right thing out of respect for the Church. When there were complaints, Priests simply got moved and carried on elsewhere. I am convinced that the non reporting of abuse by parents was a major factor in it running rife. Having said that, the more I learn the more I realise that it isn't just the Churches. 

In Northern Ireland, we see a situation where a Knight of the Realm and former first minister is being tried for sexual abuse. The case of Cyril Smith is as well documented as it is horrific. Social media has been ablaze with anger about 'grooming gangs'. There is a rather strange narrative that we don't have a problem in the indiginous population with the same issues. Whilst it suits some wannabee politicians and a lot of noisy voices on social media to pretend that it is not a problem for 'ordinary English people' the reason such things thrive is because the Police and Courts do not and never have taken sexual abuse of children seriously. 

I know this only too well. I had a run in with one such character, who had a criminal record for abusing a seven year old girl, and served a (far too short) prison sentence for it. He had managed to infiltrate a local community group doing 'social media' for them (ie filming children performing ballet at community events, etc). It was clear from his social media postings that he was also involved in other activities with under age girls. I raised this with the Police. They were not in the least bit interested. The said individual then accused me of 'harrassment' for reporting him. I was told that 'Whilst you have done nothing wrong, you should steer well clear of him, as it could be perceived as harrassment if he made another complaint'. The community group was wound up, as the Chairman of it was not prepared to commit to proper safeguarding protocols. The sorry individual to this day lives in Mill Hill and spends his life posting on Twitter, rather oddly attacking grooming gangs and spouting right wing propaganda. 

What no one ever explained to me was why the Police were totally uninterested in the safety of the young people in Mill Hill who he posed a threat to. It was 100% clear that he was seeking to get involved in all manner of activity that involved young girls, but this was not a matter of interest to the authorities. So why are the authorities so disinterested in keeping children safe? To me, the answer is quite simple. If the law was fit for purpose to deal with grooming gangs, it would also be fit for purpose to stop the rest of them as well. All of the people in positions of authority, who are quite happy to see people get away with indulging their depraved fantasies with children if they are part of the establishment, know that if the law is fit for purpose to catch the people who are not part of the cosy club, then the cosy club that is happy to tolerate such behaviour will come to an end.

People often have said to me "How do you think Jimmy Saville OBE got away with it?". My reply is always the same. The question is not how, but why. And the answer is two pronged. The first part is because the law is set up to allow people like Savile, who have rich powerful friends (who may or may not share his interests), to get away with it. Which leads us to the second part of the answer. It is clear that the British Establishment does not want a situation where people can be held to account for such abuse. As far as they are concerned, if that means that young girls in Bradford etc get damaged by grooming gangs, so be it, as far as they are concerned.

I was looking at the Donaldson case. A disturbing thought occurred to me. His party, The Ulster Unionists (of different flavours) had run the show for decades. In recent years, their nemisis Sinn Fein took over. If the Unionists were still running the show, would Donaldson be in court today? You can draw your own conclusions. I have. 

Strange goings on at Barnet Council

Perhaps the oddest thing I've ever seen in my years covering Barnet Council is the arrangement  between the Labour Party and the Tories to carve up the council between them, following the results in the May elections. Both parties finished up with 31 councillors and the Green party ended up with 1. This technically meant that the Greens held the balance of power. Only it didn't mean that at all. To my surprise, Labour and the Tories united to freeze the Greens out. There are more details, with comments from Barnets Labour and Conservative leaders, as well as from Charli Thompson, the Green councillor in this London Daily article.

One may wonder why a Green councillor, who until relatively recently was a member of the Labour party has effectively been shut out and disenfranchised. A friendly Tory councillor, who does not wish to be named told me "The Green councillor is a Corbynite with strongly anti Israel views and both the Labour party and ourselves felt that for the good of Barnet's voters, an arrangement between sensible grown up individuals was preferable to having such a person effectively having the casting vote over every council decision".

I am fascinated to see how these 'arrangements' will work. I know that Peter Zinkin, leader of the Conservatives is above all a pragmatist. Most of what London's councils do is statuatory. Under the Tories 20 years from 2002-2022, all manner of ideologically driven schemes were introduced, most of which failed miserably. Councillor Zinkin privately admitted to me that the One Barnet outsourcing programme was managed badly. Labour have spent much of their term trying to untangle the mess, with limited success. I can't really see the Tories having much apetite in the near future to go down that road again. 

I suspect that both parties see the attraction in saying that a vote for the Greens (or Reform for that matter) is a wasted vote. Should the arrangements endure until the next election, no doubt the Tories will claim that everything good was down to their scrutiny and Labour will claim that they need a mandate to do anything, if they are perceived as doing a bad job. 

I am amazed at the general silence surrounding all of this and the lack of comment. The artists formally known as 'The Barnet Bloggers' have said nothing on their blogs. It tells us a few rather interesting things. The first is that on the political spectrum, Labour and the Tories are far closer together than Labour and the Greens. The second is that the political establishment at the council does not want to make it easy for entryist parties. The third is that people who are openly critical of the Israel are not going to easily be granted access to any sort of power in the London Borough of Barnet.

My gut feeling is that the biggest winners of all this are the paid executive directors at Barnet Council. I suspect that Labour are not going to try and push anything through that is in anyway controversial and the Tories are not going to make life too difficult for them. As for our Lone Ranger Green Councillor, I suspect that they will find that being in a minority of one, in a room where 62 other people think you are bonkers will not be much fun. If I was in her position, I would look for some obvious quick wins, that are eminently sensible and start shouting about them very loudly. As she doesn't appear to have an X account, this may be hard for her. I would also suggest concentrating on the job in hand, getting the best services for the residents of Barnet, rather than using the post as a soapbox. But hey, what do I know, whenever I tried to get elected I failed miserably. 

Announcement - We Don't Live in America - 4th Of July Special! Mark your diaries

At the start of the year, I was working on a new album for my band. The title was provisionally set as "It's behind you".  This was also the provisional title of our next single. The single became "Big Hairy Spider", as the band rightly overruled me and said it was more memorable and catchy. The album? Well last year, I was becoming increasingly irritated by the infiltration of our culture and politics by Trumpite politics and mindsets. I love many things about the USA, it is where much of the music I love originates, Motown, Stax, NYC Punk, West Coast Psychedelia. I grew up watching the NASA moonshots in awe. I love American gangster films, such as The Godfather and gritty TV series such as The Sopranos and ER. But I am not and have never wanted to be American. I deplore the turn American politics has taken over the last decade or so. There is still much good about it, but watching the rise of Trumpism has made the world a worse place. Now I believe in Democracy and if America wants to choose a path they don't like, that is their choice and it is none of my business.

However when Americans right wingers start poking their nose in over here, it crosses a line. Being a zillionaire and owning a social media platform gives you a degree of influence that, if misused, can be very dangerous.  What disturbs me more than the Trumps and Elon Musks of this world poking their nose into our business, is the fact that our won right wingers do not see the irony of launching a "Unite the Kingdom" protest and asking a bunch of dodgy foreigners to turn up and spout claptrap.

I am English,. I am happy and proud to be English. My band played a St George's day celebration, as we are all proud to be Londoners living in England.  But our sort of Englishness is a very different one to the aggressive form of Nationalism that the likes of Tommy Robinson espouse. We are the England of  cups of tea, warm beer, fish and chips, currys, Roast beef on Sunday. We like waving flags, but in the right context, at The Proms or at a football match. Not in someones face to intimdate them. 

I wrote a song called "We don't live in America" to celebrate, good mannered, polite, welcoming Englishness. A country which is grown up and so we don't give the police guns, or electrocute villains. It celebrates the fact that we can have a laugh and it also celebrates the quirks of London language. 

We don’t have a president with big big cars
We don’t have a flag which has any stars 

We don’t fry villains in Electric chair!
We’re not allowed guns and we don’t care 
 
We call all our mates something rude
We love a cup of tea to wash down food
We knock back beers with indecent hurry
And have three more with a Ruby Murrey
Restaurant portions aren’t that big
But then again we aint greedy pigs
Chips are something we eat with fish
Roast beef dinner is our national dish
 
We drink warm beer, kick round footballs
We love the proms at the Albert Hall 

Liz was the boss, now we’ve got a King
He wears a crown and genuine Bling 
We moan at the bus stop in the rain
And dream of a holiday over in Spain
If you want a ciggie it’s an oily rag!
When you see the Queen she don’t wear drag

--

The song has become a key part of the set. Many people have come up to us and said that they love the sentiment. We agreed that it was the logical title for the album and the logical date for the album launch was clearly the 4th July. The date when Great Britain and the USA went their separate ways. 

Once we'd made the decision we realised that the tracks were very English and it worked extremely well. The album is a celebration of UK culture and living in and growing up in London. The tracks are very much about the life and times of the band growing up and growing old in London.

So what are they?

Dave The Roadie -  A celebration of the people who keep bands going. It is a mash up of about four people I know, who all made a massive non playing contribution to the band in the early years. Bands like The False Dots have only ever survived on good will, people lending us vans, driving us around and generally just being there. Our character Dave, smokes too much hashish, lives in Burnt Oak, has a very disfunctional family and a very hot sister. But we've all grown up, what happened to Dave? Well it is a story of redemption!

Electric Ballroom - This song was originally entitled Reality Ballroom and was co-written by myself and my original band mate Pete Conway, after he had an unfortunate experience at the Electric Ballroom, where he drank too much, passed out in the toilet and woke up after everyone had gone home and the venue was deserted. When Pete left the band, I rewrote the lyrics. I felt that Pete's version had made a classic mistake of trying to do too much and had lost its focus. I reshaped the first two verses to tell the story exactly as he told me. The third verse, where it is resolved, was my own experience, after drinking too much at Dingwalls. We played it a couple of times, but moved on. Our new version slows it down and makes it very psychedelic. Many of our fans tell us that they had similar experiences. It is a real favourite.

Please Myself - Allen Ashey was the singer of the band in 1985 and from 2012-2020. Allen wrote this song as a diatribe against the Internet and the trolls that inhabit it. It fits in perfectly with the theme. Allen wrote it in 2016-7, it seems very prophetic about the rise of a certain US tech zillionaire. Tom sings it.

Chinese Nosh - This is to me a very London song. London used to be full of family run, cheap Chinese takeaways. Mill Hill had one on station road, that had various names, The New China Garden, The Moon House, Wok Express, Hees are a few! I loved it. I probably weigh 3kg more due to their efforts. I was good friends with the family when it was The Moon House and this is my tribute to them and all of the other such people who keep us drunks in late night food!

Rambo's Rampage - Although I wrote this, it is based on the stories of our drummer Gray Ramsey and  how he became a Mod after seeing Quadraphenia and witnessing the lovely Leslie Ash in action. 

The Crows - I wrote this as a result of seeing the regeneration of The London Borough of Barnet, over my lifetime. The demise of outdoor swimming pools, Woolworths, warm beer in pubs, police on the beat, semi detached houses. They've been replaced by police cars hurtling around with sirens blaring, supermarkets selling super strength beers, to be consumed on park benches and the smell of skunk weed everywhere. It simply doesn't occur to planners that if there's nowhere for bored teenagers to go and nothing for them to do, you get anti social behaviour. A proper bouncy Ska song though. 

Hadley FC we love you - The title says it all. Our tribute to Non League football. Tom sings. The English love of lower league football is a wonderful thing. Our next single.

Big Hairy Spider - Our last single. A mash up of Ska and Punk, with Benny Hill thrown in. This is the sort of song that only gets written in London!

Pusher Man - Perhaps our meanest song. Like "Dave The Roadie" this song is based on several people I used to know. The local drug dealers, that used to serve the locality when we were teenagers. The nastiest song I've written for decades. It is a bit of a warning to people to be careful what you are getting into. This is based on things that these characters actually told me they'd been up to. Back in the day, it was mostly Hashish being sold by freelance dealers. Now it is all part of a very big, well organised business. I lost interest in such things many decades ago. Back in 1986-7, I shared a flat with a couple of such characters. It was no fun.

Wrong - The first song that the False Dots played at their first ever rehearsal in 1979. I think it could have been written yesterday. It's a 45 second long blast of punk anger. It needs to be said. Still. 

Traitors -  The middle 8 was written in 1568, by an ancestor of mine, Chidiok Tichborne, as he awaited execution in the Tower of London, for being part of a plot to assassinate Queen Elisabeth I. I always felt he was a kindred spirit, although I've never really been tempted to assinated anyone. Then again, we don't have religious repression in the UK anymore. The rest of the song, I wrote whilst on holiday in Florida in 2017, lying on a lounger whilst the family enjoyed the swimming pool. I'd always wanted to incorporate some of "The Tichborne Elegy" into a False Dots song. I hope Chidiok would approve. It is very different to anything we've ever done. I like the idea of a song that is in parts nearly 500 years old. Sadly, in this world, people are still being executed. Just not in the UK. Some things are worth fighting for. You will have to wait to hear what it sounds like though. 

We don't live in America. Coming on the 4th July. We hope you like it.

The Sunday Reflection #86 - Three steps to happiness

 Are you happy? Now of course, none of us can be happy all of the time. All sorts of things can derail our happiness. A good friend of mine has one of their adult children in hospital at the moment, and at such moments, I would guess that happiness is impossible. But for most of us, happily such moments are passing obstacles. I have always felt that my default setting is happy. I work very hard at keeping that true. I have always tried to share that with my friends and family. My wife was very cross with me on Friday. I went out and bought some very expensive beef. I then organised a barbecue with our children and local nephews. It was a wonderful night. We drank and ate far too much, but such balmy, warm evenings are fairly rare, so it seemed to good an opportunity to miss. I have friends who's default setting is miserable. Some people are never happier than when they are moaning. They seek out things to be unhappy about and revel in the misery that it brings them. If there was a door marked "enter for misery and despair" I would avoid it like the plague, but I am sure some of my mates would march in and revel in it. What has always intrigued me is the way that some people work so hard at being miserable, getting angry and finding reasons to pick arguments.

What always intrigues me, is that on the rare occasion that I challenge them, they always give me a thousand reasons why I am lucky and they have a life of woe. My view is that when you get to sixty years old, any good or bad things in your life (apart from health, war and the taxman) are there because to some extent you have chosen to have them there. I have no idea why some of us choose to see the glass as half full and some always see it as half empty. My Dad once advised me "Never worry about whether the glass is half empty or half full, what you really need to worry about is whether you have enough in your wallet to buy the next drink". I laughed, but he explained "No, I am serious. Always have something to look forward to. It might be the next pint, it might be the next holiday, it might be your birthday party. But always have something that makes you happy on the horizon". If you've got something to look forward to in life, the mundane drudgery always seems easier. 

The second lesson I learned, when it comes to happiness, is that some people drag you down and make you miserable. I think of them as psychic vampires or energy voids. I am not talking about people who are just a bit dour and glass half full. There are some people who can suck all of the energy and life out of a room full of people. It took me a long, long time to realise that such people do it as a deliberate policy. It is bad enough when they are part of a friendship group, but it is a thousand times worse when you work with them and they have a degree of power over you. I have generally been lucky, but twice in my life, I've had managers who were deliberately nasty and destructive. What really shocked me, was that they choose their moments well. When I was at BT, my then boss waited until my Father passed away unexpectedly to pounce. They then went in hard and did everything they could to undermine me in the eyes of my colleagues. I was at an emotional low, but I am a strong person. I did not take it, but I realised that even though the job was in some ways a perfect job for me, with great prospects, I couldn't be around that person, so I left and took a worse job elsewhere. When I left, I could not have been happier. I only realised the burdon of hate and vitriol I was carrying as a result of their behaviour. If someone is making you unhappy, and the problem cannot be fixed, then extracate yourself from the situation, even if there is a financial penalty.

The third lesson, the one which seems impossible in the year 2026 is to give yourself time to relax and appreciate the beauty in the world. With the internet, mobile phones, AI queries, Facebook..... it is so easy to get wrapped up in the virtual universe. What I have noticed is that just about every social media platform has a very dark underbelly. In X.COM/Twitter it is trolls that seek to spread misery and hatred. On Facebook it is paid adverts that push things you don't want to solve problems you don't have. On Whatsapp groups it is finding out that people you like have obnoxious views. My advice is to put own the phone, chill out and reconnect with the Sun, the sky, the trees and flowers in our gardens and streets. Enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the snow. Set yourself slots to do stuff online and set yourself slots where you are not worrying about all of that sort of thing. It can be hard, but appreciate the natural world. I see so many people walking their dogs, not paying attention to the lovely parks and open spaces, getting cross when their dog doesn't get a move on. Dogs live a very Zen life. We can learn a lot from them!

Anyway, have a great Sunday. I am going out in the garden to enjoy the sunshine and to chill with a cold glass of iced tea! I have a lovely garden, I made this video with footage from it and a track by The False Dots about fifteen years ago. Connie Abbe is singing.

The Saturday List #380 - London Symphonies - The ten things that make 'my London'

 London is an ever changing enigma. It seems like you blink your eye and something that you thought would be there forever has been replaced. Back in around 2018, when Allen Ashley was in the band, we decided that after we'd released our album "Songs of Love and War", we'd start work on a brand new project called London Symphonies. As it was, neither album got released. Songs of Love and War was largely material we'd written in 1985 and a few newer songs. London Symphonies was meant to be a celebration of all things London. The idea was that it would be more than a simple album, it would be a collection of stories, short films and poems, as well as the tunes. I set up a website and we started planning. The pandemic meant Allen stopped working with the band. Originally, the album "A finger in the Sun" was to be London Symphonies, but as it evolved, it was clear that it wasn't that.

I set up a website, put some of the material up and the plan was for it to evolve over time. As the band moved away from what we were doing with Allen, it seemed less and less relevant to the project. The band have been working hard on the follow up, which is called "We don't live in America". I think it is a real tour de force of The False Dots work and ethics. But it is done, it will be released on July 4th. So I started to think 'What next? Should I revisit London Symphonies as the theme?".  Where to start? What is London to me? I realised that although I had a rough idea of what I wanted to say, I wasn't really distilling the idea into a state where it could coherently hang together. As I love a list, I thought "why not make a list of what makes my London". So here you go. These are the things that make me love London.

1. Thameslink. I used it every day for nearly 40 years for work, and I know it can be a nightmare. But it stops in Mill Hill and it means I can go more or less anywhere in London in less than an hour. I think every Londoner has a favourite bus, tube or train line. There are many wonderful things about it. It has two of the best stations in the world. Blackfriars has a unique view of the Thames, that always takes my breath away. St Pancras is a wonder of Victorian architecture. It is also a wonder of upcycling. In the 1970's British Rail decided it should be knocked down. Sir John Betjamin had other ideas and lead a campaign to save it.  He won.  For decades, it languished, semi derelict, a monument to a bygone era of Railway. Then it was transformed for the Eurostar network. It was given a makeover and is a shining example of what you can do with a great space and vision. I love the piano's plinking and the noticeboards which display destinations as diverse as Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Brighton, Margate and Luton. Thameslink is a metaphor for London. When it is bad, it is awful, but when it works it is brilliant. It encompasses new and old and links the Midlands and the North with Europe. If I was ever made the Dictator of Britain, I'd bring back the Thames-Clyde Express that ran from St Pancras to Glasgow. I think such a station deserves such a service. Scotland should be on that noticeboard along with all the Thameslink trains. 

2. The Southampton Arms. I always have a favourite pub in London. London changes, Pubs change, but right now, this is my favourite. It is officially an ale, cider and pie house. It has a great range of real ales and some tasty pies. It isn't a gastro pub. It is a place you go for a beer with your mates. Needless to say, it is in Kentish Town on the Thameslink line. It is not a posh, swanky venue, but you feel like you are having a pint in proper London when you go there.

3. The Mill Hill Tandoori. We all have our favourite restaurant. My favourite cuisine is Indian and it is my local. The restaruant first opened in 1974 and the current owners moved in in 1979. I had the last curry with my Dad in there in 1976. The owner, Mr Lemon, is getting on. His kids are well qualified and don't want to run a restaurant and I suspect that the fuse is burning. I will appreciate it as best I can whilst it is still there. London used to be full of cheap and cheerful Indian restaurants, they are disappearing before our eyes

4. The Dublin Castle. No one lives in London for the weather or the beaches. We live here for the art and culture. Music is my thing. I probably go to more gigs in a year than many go in a lifetime. The Dublin Castle is my favourite grassroots venue, not least because my band has a residency there. I have seen some amazing nights there, both when we've been playing and as an ordinary punter. It has the best memorabilia of anywhere. It is worth having a pint just to look at them. Like most things in London, it is far from perfect, but it is my musical spiritual home.

5. The Little Portland Cafe. I've always had a favourite cafe. Like much of what I love, they are disappearing. As I've mentioned before, I always had one near my offices in London. All of those are now closed. Through my cancer treatment, I've had to visit Westmoreland St far more than I'd liked. I came across the Little Portland Cafe and it makes the trips for MRI's etc bearable. They do a stonking full English.

6. Castle's Pie and Mash. I love Pie and Mash. Castles in Camden is my favourite. My family don't really get it, but for me, it is a real pleasure. If I am mooching around Camden, I will start with Pie and Mash. If I could change one thing about my wonderful wife, it would be a love of pie and mash, so we could share it.

7. The Mayflower walks. London has the best walks. As your can probably guess, I like walks with regular pub breaks. The Mayflower pub is on the banks of the Thames, it has great views and is a wonderful place to start or end a walk. They do a good Sunday lunch as well. One of my favourite walk is from/to The Prospect of Whitby, via Tower Bridge to the Mayflower, stopping at various pubs on the way.

8. Ronnie Scotts. I am not really a Jazz buff, but there are a few Jazz artists I love. Ronnies is the best place to see them. In June, I'll be there twice in two days. On the 14th for The Jive Aces and on the 15th for New York legend Ben Sidran. 

9. The Kiln Theatre. Theatre isn't really my thing either. I'm not a massive lover of big West End shows, I much prefer small theatres and productions. The Kiln in Kilburn is a definite favourite. It's a ten minute walk from West Hampstead Thameslink station. Perhaps my favourite night at the theatre ever was there. It was a show called "The man who wears womens shoes" by Mikel Murfi. 

10. The London International Ska Festival Ska Cruise. London only exists because of the River Thames. The very best way to see it is on a London International Ska Festival Cruise. I am lucky that as a sponsor, I get free tickets. It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful London is. There is one coming up on the 6th June - Find out more here Facebook

The best/worst thing about London is that if I am still writing this blog in ten years, I suspect that at least half of these things will not be around or on the list. When I was about five, my Dad took me for pie and chips at my favourite cafe in Mill Hill. Being with my Dad, eating pie and chips and having a cup of tea was the best thing ever. I told him and he replied saying "If you really enjoy something, use it because the biggest mistake people make is to forget that nothing lasts forever". When the cafe shut, I shed a tear or two. It is now the Mill Hill Tandoori. Things change, sometimes they are better, sometimes they are worse, sometimes they are just different.