So today, I had my last consultation with Professor Christopher Eden, the amazing surgeon who removed my cancerous prostate. Going forI am now back under my GP, as my PSA tests since the operation have been undetectable, apart from one outlier test in February, which showed a small raise. Whilst, as with any cancer, there is a small chance it may return, statistically it is unlikely. I will continue to have PSA tests for the foreseeable future. This is precautionary, but these will be GP reviewed.
This is not the end of the journey. I will still get stressed as each test approaches. That is human nature. I will live with the life changing effects of the surgery for the rest of my days, but my experience has been far better than just about everyone else I know in regards to after effects, but it is not without a degree of change to life. But I am lucky. The journey started in 2011, with a high PSA test. I had a well man checkup and I had a slightly raised PSA level. This was followed by another one, which was even higher.
A biopsy followed and I was told I had a low grade cancer, and was put on a programme of active surveillance (A PSA test every six months). In 2015, it started to become more active and I had HIFU treatment at UCH. This addressed the issue until 2023, when it became very active and I had the prostatectomy.
I could write a million words on the effects of it all on my mental health. For me, cancer is as much a mental health issue as a physical health challenge. I like to think I am a robust person, but it has been difficult to deal with. Perhaps, for me, the most difficult aspect is that every time I have become complacent, it has become active. I feel like the albatross will never be truly off my back.
But that is enough about me. As I am in the habit of doing, I had a little chat with Professor Eden about how business is going. He told me something that slightly disturbed me. He said "Do you have brothers and sons?". I have two brothers and a son. He said "As it is in the family, make sure they all get regular PSA checks when they are over 50, as you have a family history". He add "Now the NHS no longer does regular screening, men are finding out far too late". Since I started writing this series of blogs, 30 men have contacted me to inform me that they read the blog, got tested and it was caught in time. If I've done nothing else good in my life, 30 people will live a bit longer and have a better quality of life. That makes it all worth while. So please get a test. I hope you will not be 31, but if you are, that is better than finding out in 5 years time when you start peeing blood and they can't do much for you as it has spread.
I wrote this song and made the video when I had the treatment.
Emphatic means expressed, spoken, or done in a strong, forceful, and clear way that leaves no doubt.
Key Meanings and Uses
Forceful expression: Showing strong feeling or a definite opinion, such as giving an emphatic "no" or an emphatic "yes".
Clear results: Describing a very decisive outcome, like an emphatic sports victory.
Grammar: Referring to a word or structure used to add special force, such as using "do" for emphasis (e.g., "I do want to go")
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What is your greatest fear? Well I am terrified of snakes and I don't want to get eaten by crocodiles, but the thing I have most nightmares about is school. I didn't do well at school and I used to dread the end of the summer holiday and the start of another whole year. That is why I hate September. There were many things I hated, but most of all, the very worst bit was spelling tests at St Vincents Primary. Every week, we'd be given a list of 20 words to learn. On Monday we were given a spelling test and every week I'd do atrociously. I didn't know I was dyslexic, the word 'thick' was the more general term back then. Almost as much as I hated the tests, I hated parents evenings. For everyone who got all of the words right, there was a chart and you got a star. Most of the kids had lots, I had none. My parents concluded that this was laziness. I got locked in the shed and told to do my homework and learn my words, I was let out after an hour, having worked really hard at learning the spellings. I still got them all wrong, Now you may think that the teachers should have realised. My brother in law, who is a retired teacher saw a post where I featured a page of schoolwork and he said it would take him three seconds to realise I was dyslexic. For me the whole thing was a ritual weekly humiliation.
I am now sixty four. I've written a blog for eighteen years that has had nearly 12 million views. You'd think I would be over it. Last night, I woke up at 3.15am and I was in a state of panic. Why? I had been having a dream, where I was back at school having a spelling test. The teacher said the word "EMPHATIC" and I had to write down the spelling. E-M came easily. Then I started to think is it EMFATICK, no that might sound right but it don't look right. EMFATYC, that's definitely wrong??? Is there a P in there EMPATIC, no cause the word FAT is in the middle. By now the teacher had read two more words, and I was panicing. Then (in the real world), my big fat geriatric dog, who was sleeping on my mattress, also had a nightmare and kicked me and woke me up. I still couldn't remember. The harder I tried, the worse it got. So I googled it. As soon as I saw what came up, it made perfect sense.
But I was lying there thinking I know what the meaning of the word EMPHATIC is, I use it all the time. Does the fact that I can't arrange the letters correctly make me stupid. I think that one of the biggest problems for dyslexics is that the English language uses ridiculously non phonetic rules and then half the time, it breaks its own rules. I put the dictionary definition of the word at the top of the blog. Look at the phonetic spelling. That is what we have to contend with. I wonder if English was properly phonetic, whether people like me who have mild to moderate dyslexia would cope? The problem for me was it caused stress and my mind went blank.
Yesterday, my band, The False Dots, did a gig at The York Rise Street Party in Camden. It is the third largest street festival in London, with over 40,000 people attending. As often happens at such events, people come up to me and compliment me on the lyrics of my songs. After, a lovely Irish lady who was a writer asked if she could have a look at them and complimented me on them. So it seems that perhaps, I have a degree of talent with the language. But I still wake up at night in a panic over the speling of words. What does all of this mean? Well, one thing is that I don't actually like discussing my writing. On numerous occasions, pedants have told me "You write a great blog but your spelling and grammar is atrocious, why don't you get AI to check it?". The reason is because the whole bloody point is to show that you can write an interesting blog without needing to. Part of what I want to do is get the message out to other dyslexics is that it doesn't matter, say what you want to say.
I am neither a moron or a genius, although people have accused me of both. There was even a time when a rumour went around that I didn't write my blog, some shadowy figure behind the scenes did. The reason? No one as thick as me could possibly have dug up so much stuff to embarass Barnet Council. The stupid idiots failed to realise I drink with dustmen, roadsweepers, teachers and office staff at Barnet. They knew that they could tell me stuff and I wouldn't dob them in it. Oddly, Tory councillors were the best source of all. The sensible ones. They knew that what I was writing was right and so helped me make the case against outsourcing. Secret papers would get posted through the door. I couldn't say what was in them, but I could ask questions. Barnet Council changed the rules on public questions at meetings as a result. At one meeting, I had the amusing spectacle of a committee member, who had leaked papers to me, accusing me of having received secret papers, which is against the law. He later said he'd asked it to throw the rest of them off the scent. My response "Yes, I have read the papers, but I no longer have them, as they were secret and had to be disposed of to prevent them falling into the wrong hands". The point was that dyslexia was irrelevant. The content was what mattered. This is always what matters. Never forget that. My parents were deeply embarrassed that I was the only kid in the class with no spelling stars. Beyond that though, it mattered not a jot, apart from the odd sleepless night.
Yesterday, we went out for a friends birthday to Highgate. Usually I would get Thameslink to Kentish Town, then get the Northern Line up. But we were meeting friends at Mill Hill East and travelling together. This meant that I got the opportunity to enjoy two of my favourite journeys on Public Transport in London. It made me think, maybe I could do a Saturday list of my favourite journeys on London's public transport. So here you go.
2. Mill Hill East to Finchley Central on the Northern Line. The tube line travels over the Dollis Valley vidauct. The highest point in London on the Underground network. The view is amazing. There are not many places on the London Underground with a great view, I guess that being Underground, there wouldn't be, would there. But this is well worth a trip just to have a look. The best time is in about 4-6 weeks when the leaves chage colour.
3. Blackfriars to London Bridge on the Thameslink line. I have stated many times that Blackfriars station probably has the best view of any station in the world. The very best time to do this is at around 7.10 am on around November 10th. At that time, you'll see the Sun rising between the towers of Tower Bridge from Blackfriars. The train winds its way to London Bridge, travelling above Borough Market and past Southwark Cathedral. I always love that journey, especially if it ends with a pint at The Rake in Borough Market.
4. The Mildmay line from Highbury and Islington to Hampstead Heath. Much of this route is above roof level on viaducts and you get great views of London, the Post office tower, St Pancras et all. I have yet to work out the perfect time, when the sun is setting. One of my biggest bugbears is that Sadiq Khan renamed the North London Line as the Mildmay Line. I can no longer remember what the flipping thing is called now. Totally unnecessary and a waste of money.
5. 263 bus from North Hill Avenue to Highgate. As the bus passes through Highgate, you get the most amazing view of London in panorama. It is absolutely stunning, It is worth doing it during daytime and at night.
6. The 98 bus from Tottenham court road to Marbel Arch. It isn't a pretty route, but Oxford Street is to me the heart of London and on the top of a 98 bus is by far the best way to see it!
7. The DLR from Bank to Canary Wharf is by far the best way to see that part of London. When the train accelerates out of Bank Station, it is almost like a fairground ride! Docklands is well worth a trip.
8. West Hampstead to St Pancras High Level station. You can only do this trip on Thameslink when there are engineering works and the low level station is shut. St Pancras is my favourite London Station and I love the run into it on the train, over the canals, with the gasworks and the view of coal drops yard. I always feel that when you arrive at the station it feels like you've arrived somewhere special. The low level station is the opposite, You feel like you've arrived in a concrete bunker. The bit between West Hampstead and Kentish Town is pretty dull, as it is mostly in a tunnel. When I was a kid and they had the old diesel trains, one of the biggest treats was sitting at the front, as you could see the route ahead. I'd play a game with my sisters, to see who could see the end of the tunnel first. Sadly, these days only the driver has that fun!
9. The River bus from Embankment to Greenwich. This is always fun. I love travelling on boats on the Thames and there is loads to do at Greenwich. I always get a bit of a buzz going under Tower Bridge.
10. London cable car at from Greenwich to the Excel Centre. The cable car was a bit of Boris Johnson vanity, but it is a fun thing to do.
If the mood takes you, you can combine nearly all of this on a day out. Here is my plan, starting and finishing at Mill Hill.
1. Take the early Morning Thameslink Train to Blackfriars, arriving around 7am on Nov 10th to watch the Sun rise at 7.10am.
2. Hop on a train to London Bridge station. Have a hearty breakfast in Borough Market at Maria's cafe. Have a look around the market and Southwark Cathedral.
3. Make your way to Borough Station and get the tube to Bank. At Bank take the DLR to Royal Victoria station. When you get there. Take the Cable Car to Greenwich. There is plenty to do and see in Greenwich, the Maritime musuem, the Royal Observatory, the Cutty Sark etc. You can easily spend 3-4 hours and not see it all. There are also plenty of great pubs and a good pie and mash shop!
4. Get the River boat from Greenwich to London Bridge pier. Get the Northern Line to Highgate and walk to Archway, from here get the Northern Line to Highgate and walk to the nearest 263 bus stop. Take the bus down the hill to Highgate station, taking in the views.
5. Take the Northern Line to Tottenham Court Road and get the 98 bus to Marble Arch, to enjoy Oxford Street. Have a walk around Hyde Park.
6. Walk to Green Park Station, get the Jubilee Line to West Hampstead and then take the Mildmay Line to Highbury and Islington, to see the rooftop views of London.
7. At Highbury and Islington, take the 263 to Highgate, there are some very decent pubs here and a few great cafe's and restaurants. It is also worth exploring Highgate Woods, not as famous as Hampstead Heath but well worth a visit. You won't have got the best views going up the Hill, so when you are refreshed, get the bus back down to Archway station.
8. At Archway station get the Northern Line to Mill Hill East. Enjoy the views from the Dollis Viaduct.
9, At Mill Hill East, take the 240 Bus to Mill Hill and then you are almost done. At Mill Hill nip into the Mill Hill Tandoori for dinner! A perfect day.
I'd probaly recommend splitting the day in half TBH, as the best time to see Blackfriars is in November and the best time to do the Dollis viaduct is probably early, mid October, when there is colour in the trees. If you break off at 6 and go to the Wet Fish Cafe in West Hampstead for dinner, you won't go too far wrong,
The False Dots will be appearing at The York Rise Street Party today at 3pm on the Park Stage. Please come down and say hi! This is one of our hits that we'll be entertaining you with!
Back in the sands of time, well in 2008 to be precise, I started a blog called The Barnet Eye. I won't go into the circumstances here, they are well documented. But when I started it, I assumed that no one would read it. It didn't really occur to me that anyone would be too interested. I didn't check the stats for about six months, I didn't want to be discouraged. When I did, I was amazed. There had been over 50,000 views. I immediately put the blog hits tracker in the side bar. That number is now not far off 12 million. I guess it is fair to say I've done something right, not quite sure what.
After I'd been doing it a while, a couple of my readers started leaving comments saying I should join Twitter as it is more interactive. I resisted. I had a quick look and soon realised that it was pretty dull and uninteresting. But I kept getting nagged to join. People told me that everyone elses blog would get more hits. I succumbed. My plan was simply to post a link to my latest blog, in the hope that they'd go away and leave me alone. But once I was on and people started commenting on my tweets, I realised that there was something to be said for engagement. I then realised that it was a useful mine of information. I started a feature called "The Tweets of the Week in the London Borough of Barnet". I had a list of tweeters and a list of areas of the Borough and I'd check them and post the best bits on a Sunday.
The Elon Musk took over and it changed. Now unlike many people I didn't hate Elon Musk and I accepted that it was the sort of thing that American billionaires do. Many people I knew left just because Musk was in charge. I stayed. I did however notice that it was becoming ever harder to fill the Tweets of the Week feature. Quite simply, no one was postig interesting hyper local tweets any more, or not enough to justify my time. So I stopped. Then last year, my account was suspended. Apparently I'd broken a rule and they decreed that my account was not genuine. They never told me what tweet had broken the rule or why. After over fifteen years, I just ceased to exist on the x.com platform. I appealed and got a response saying I'd be reinstated, but I wasn't. I contacted them five times. Four times I was told I'd be reinstated, the fifth, I was told their automated systems had decided that I had broken their rules and that was sort of that.
Hello,
We have reviewed your appeal request for account, @Barneteye.
Our automated systems have determined that a violation of our Rules did take place, specifically:
We considered the additional information provided and decided an overturn of our original decision is not warranted in this case. Therefore, we will not overturn our decision to lock your account.
In order to restore account functionality, you can resolve the violations by logging into your account and completing the on-screen instructions.
Thanks,
X Support
.
I logged on and I couldn't see any on screen instructions, other that to submit an appeal that I'd already done. I have no idea what my tweets did that broke the rules and they won't tell me.
Do I care? No. It is mildly annoying that there are a couple of accounts that I engaged with purely via Twitter, but hey ho. I was getting almost no engagement. Whereas Tweets used to get 2-3,00 views, now they got half a dozen. The site is banal and they incentivise people to post crappy clickbait.
Am I impressed. Nope. What am I going to do about it? What my instincts told me to do all along. Ignore the whole bloody thing. It has become dull and is past its sell by date.
The False Dots have just released our 2nd album with our current line up. Technically it was our 5th album, but three have languished on the shelf, one for nearly 40 years! Another was only released on Myspace and got lost when Myspace crashed, feaaturing Fil Ross on vocals. The third, was never quite finished and featured Allen Ashley on vocals. One day we will release it as a retrospective when the time seems right, but it is very different to what we do now.
But when we restarted in 2021 after lockdown, we had a bit of a reset and so in many ways it is a new band. I am now writing the bands third album with Tom Hammond on trumpet in the band (although the first album was largely recorded beforeTom joined). Our second album "We don't live in America" has been really well recieved. What next? Well there is a term called difficult third album syndrome.
The theory is that the first album is the best of a bands career before they started putting albums together. The first current album "Don't be afraid of a finger in the Sun" had a song we wrote in 1980, one we wrote in 1983 and one from just before Allen left. It also featured many songs I wrote in lockdown, when I didn't have much else to do. As for the second album, the idea is that the band still has fresh ideas and a few old songs to rehash as they know the way studios work better. We actually rehashed two songs from 1979 for it, albiet with different arrangements etc. There was also another two songs written with Allen that was due to appear, albiet with a different arrangements, on the album we recorded with him. Also there was a song from the Myspace album, again heavily re-arranged. The other eight songs were new. I think it is works well. If you didnt know the history, I doubt you'd guess which songs are the old ones.
So now, whilst we are plugging our new album like mad, we are working discreetly on the next album! The theory is that the third album is hastily hashed together by a band that ha run out of ideas. So is the cupboard dry and have we run out of ideas? There is still one old song we may add, and that will feature Fil on vocals, but other than that, all of the songs will have been written in the last year. Can we keep up the run of great new songs? Well only time will really tell, but I am really excited by the new material and the new songs we are writing. We played three at our recent album launch and they seemed to be well received. Do I feel daunted or uninspired? No, not really. I actually feel quite energised by the concept of writing new material. Of course the proof is in the pudding. But for me, I write when something inspires me. I also get a huge kick out of playing new songs with the band and hearing what they bring to the show. And then there is the process of recording, I love this.
What I've come to realise though is that most musicians don't really enjoy the process of writing songs. They see it as a necessary evil and once they develop a formula that works, they struggle to adapt it. Some of this is inertia, some of it is laziness and some of it is that they are terrified that if they change what they are doing, they will lose their audience. Not everyone has the fearsome attitude of David Bowie, who shed images and sounds and reinvented himself almost every year in the 1970's and early 1980's. By the time Bowie was releasing songs like Lets Dance, he'd largely shed the audience that loved Rebel Rebel. He made albums that were left field, like Youg Americans. Now he's hailed as a genius, but then, many of his fans just switched off.
If we look at the big Indie war between Oasis and Blur, we saw two every different bands. Oasis had a formula that worked brilliantly for two albums, Blur changed the spots constantly. When Oasis reformed it was a celebration of those two albums. When Blur reformed, it was a celebration of a long, diverse career. I know which works for me, but for Oasis, the cash still rolls in, so there is something to be said for their approach.
So I think that the difficult third album is very much a syndrome for bands that are scared to evolve. If your music is very genre specific, I guess it is harder to keep pulling rabbits out of the hat. Artists that sell out stadiums often have the problem that their audience don't want to know about the new stuff. One of my wife's favourite artists is Paul Weller, I've rarely been to one of his shows where someone hasn't moaned about the lack of songs by the Jam. If he played a set pulled entirely from the Jam's first two albums, I guess most of their fans would go home ecstatic. Their third album featured songs like English Rose, that hinted at what was to come. However with Jam bangers on like Down in the tube station at midnight and David Watts, they managed to keep the fans onside and avoid the difficult third album tag.
I get the feeling that artsist like Weller and Damon Albarn write songs because they enjoy it, rather than because they feel they have to. People have often noted the huge influence of Ian Dury on my music. It is funny because I was chatting about this to a friend, who commented "Well Ian Dury's third album was a bit of a clunker with no hits on it". They didn't realise that Stiff Records and Ian Dury didn't like putting singles on albums. Of course, Dury's first album Handsome was with Kilburn and The High Roads, so many consider Laughter his third album.Had it been on an album, Dury's biggest hit "Hit me with your rythm stick" would have been on his third album. It has sold over 1.29 million copies in the UK. It does occur to me that we were very lucky that Dury hit his peak during the height of punk. He had a supportive label and an audience eager to buy into his talent. Perhaps the biggest tragedy is that if there is another Ian Dury out there, we won't hear their first album, let alone their third, because the gatekeepers will deem it "uncommercial".
To sum up, I believe that the concept of difficult third album is a myth. For 99% of artists, the problem is difficult first album. If that is no good, the chances of a third album are miniscule!.
Anyway, here is the False Dots second or fifth album, depending on how you want to look at it!
So today was Mr Andy Burnham's first day at the office as it were. He's been PM for around six weeks, but today is the first day he got to face Parliament. There has been some criticism of this gap,but I have to say I think it is rather sensible. It is not a trivial job and he needs to get on top of his briefs. One of my biggest criticisms of the UK system is that Parliament is as much about theatre as it is about actual proper governance. Sir Keir Stramer showed just how hard it is to be PM with a charisma bypass. It is very easy to conclude that an extremely competent PM is useless if they are bad at dealing with the House.
The problem the UK has at the moment is that we have a whole swathe of massive decisions for our politicians to take, that will require tough decisions and these will affect our lives for decades. However, the electoral cycle means that Andy Burnham has two years to convince us he's the man for the job. Everyone on all sides of the house, who is a serious politician, knows we have to massively increase spending on things like defence, Adult social care, the NHS, schools, roads, railways, airports, water, electricity and gas, or the whole thing is going to fall apart. All of this costs serious money and so big tax rises are needed. Sadly, no politician has the guts to tell the truth. If they did, it would be suicidal as the opposition would crucify them. The alternative is managed decline and failure of the UK as a nation.
The post Thatcherite consensus is one which has ripped the UK apart. The concept that tax rises are a bad thing is a lie that we've all bought into. The right are currently pushing the line that we need more privatisation in the NHS. This ignores the fact that people living in countries where there is not a social healthcare system pay far more and many end up bankrupt when they get ill. We all want to walk the streets safe, but we won't pay for prisons and gaol's to ensure the law is enforced. Do we actually save money? No because we pay a fortune in insurance premiums instead.
We want a railway that runs on time and safely, but we don't want to put in the investment that will deliver this. Does this save money? No, we are chronically inefficient as so many people spend so much time waiting for trains that don't come. The Tory mantra is that Taxes are bad,but they never lay out the consequences of a 'low tax economy'. The say that socialists only want to spend "YOUR MONEY" on services for "SOMEONE ELSE". We buy this old claptrap. We never say "hang on, my insurance premiums are going up due to rising crime, I can't get a doctors appointment and my train was late three times this week, because we don't spend enough monet doing the stuff we need to do as a nation".
I have a theory. I believe that the billionaires who are the biggest beneficiaries of these policies are in fact the biggest parasites of all. Not only are they greedy, but they actually damage the economy. They stockpile their cash ensuring it does not stimiulate the economy. Let me explain, A billion pounds is a thousand million pounds. If we took a billion quid off Britains richest people in taxes, they would not be any worse off materially. They wouldn't notice any material change in the quality of life. If we ere just to go out and give this to the million worst off families with children in the UK, a thousand quid each, this would massively improve their quality of living. They would put the money back into the economy and help drive economic growth. Local shops and businesses would get a huge and much needed injection of cash and the children of the families would see massive benefits.
Now I can already hear the squeals of the right wing press, who work for billionaire press barons, and the bots controlled by them on Twitter. Why should 'hard working people' have to give up their hard earned cash to subsidise the poor? Well mostly because it is the right thing to do, but the idea isn't unique. When Rishi Sunak was Boris Johnson's chancellor, he did something similar with the "Eat out to help out" policy, to get us out and spending again. This policy largely benefitted the middle classes who like a bit of free dinner. But it did stimulate economic growth and saved a few businesses. It is now much ridiculed, but it gave the economy a massive boost. I am not an economist, I am a musician, but I understand the way the economy works, as I was born and raised in a family that ran small businesses. What you want is ordinary people to have cash, if you want a strong economy. Ultimately that bebefits everyone, even the mega rich.
I do not begrudge the likes of Elon Musk and Bill Gates their billions. I just think that they should share a little bit of it around. They would not have to go without. You need people like them to take risks, start business, come up with innovation. They should be handsomely rewarded. But I do think that when they are sitting on piles of money that they will not spend in a dozen lifetimes, something is wrong.
All of this probably explains why I'd make a lousy politician and why it is Andy Burnham and not me in No 10. I wish him well and I hope you do, even if you can't stand him or his politics. The reason is simple. If he screws up, we'll all suffer. One last thing. I suspect that Andy Burnham is the first PM since John Major that I think you could have a pint and a chat with and it wouldn't be excruciating.
Have you ever made a deal with God in a time of extreme stress? I have. Back in the last century, my Brother in Law Tim had a catastrophic bike accident. He was knocked off a moped in Greece in the early hours of the morning, by what we assume was a drunk driver. Ata round 5.30am, there was an 'anonymous' call to report the accident. Tim had been lying there for several hours when the ambulance and paramedics turned up. His blood pressure was registering zero. He'd broken more bones than he hadn't. He had suffered brain damage. He wasn't expected to last the night. Although at the time I was pretty non religious, I went down on my knees, said a prayer and said "Oh Lord, if Tim recovers, I promise I will go to Church every Sunday that I reasonably can. To my, and everyone else's surprise, Tim made it through the night, through the week. He couldn't speak, his body was shattered. He was a very successful ER Doctor at the time of the accident. We were grateful he hadn't passed away, but his prognosis and the brain damage seemed so acute that we had little hope for any sort of meaningful recovery.
Tim had other ideas. He had to re-learn every word. He had to commit to punishing physio. He'd lost his medical license. But, slowly, surely he rebuilt himself. He retook his medical exams and re-qualified. He went back to work. He recovered well enough to fall off a ladder and nearly kill himself, but he recovered. He has had a couple of brushes with cancer, but he's survived. I kept my side of the bargain. Oddly, I have got quite a lot out of it. Most of my mates wrongly assumed I'd only started going to get my kids into St Vincents. Oddly, I found I got a lot out of going. That wasn't part of the deal, was it? I got to learn of people who I knew who were ill, or passed away. I bumped into friends I hadn't seen for a while and made a few new ones. At the time the priest was the rather good Fr Perry Gildea, who was quite inspirational and talked a lot of sense. Since his time, we've had some very good and some not so good ones. We've had one who tested my commitment to the limit, but at the back of my mind has been the thought that the first time I break the deal, what will happen to Tim, who as you can probably guess is a bit accident prone etc. He's also in his 80's.
My Dad cautioned me about making such deals. The last proper evening out we had, he told me that he was worried. When he was shot down in his Wellington Bomber in 1944, he made a deal with the Lord that if he survived he'd try and be a good person. The mistake? He asked for his biblical allowance of three score and ten years. The problem? He was in his 70th year. The deal was up. He was in good form and I told him not to be superstitious. I never saw him again, he had an unexpected anuerism. I think he knew. He'd taken out a new credit card, run up a huge bill in the USA visiting my sister and it all got written off when he passed away.
Given that it is 30 years since I made my deal and Tim is in his 80's now, there are all sorts of dilemma's that the unexpected turn of events have thrown up. Clearly, if I renage on the deal and Tim drops dead, I will feel terrible, so that isn't going to happen. But what if I drop dead first? Tim knows of the deal, is it unfair to stress him out knowing that the deal is off? What if he passes away at some point now? Clearly I've had good value for the deal, so do I need to keep going? What if Tim rings up and says "I've had enough, can you not go to mass for a few weeks", what should I do? What if I stop going and he changes his mind?
My Dad, who was a firm believer in such things, to the extent that he believed he could make sunshine and rain. He told me that the only secret was that you had to absolutely believe that God would listen to your prayers and that you never make any deal or ask for anything lightly. He also cautioned that with things like making the sun shine, you were not changing things permanently and when you make good weather, you will get soaked at some time shortly after the period when you want good weather. So if you are at a wedding and the forecast is bad, you can change it, but a few days later, you'll get caught in an unexpected cloudburst. There is always some sort of price to pay. Dad also cautioned me not to wish ill on anyone, as any ills that befall them are on you and you will also pay the price. So be very careful. Now you may think this is all superstitious claptrap. I probably would have, but as Tim really shouldn't be here, what am I to make of it all.
I am superstitious. If I am watching football and I need the toilet, I can only go when Manchester City's goalie has the ball. I've passed this on to my son. If I see a Magpie, I always say "Good morning Mr Magpie, have a nice day" as I think it will bring doom on me if I don't. The list is pretty long. Now the odd thing is that I am extraordinarily lucky most of the time. I believe that this is 100% down to the efforts I put in with him upstairs. I've been told it is utterly ridiculous by some family members and friends on many occasions, but I have far better luck in just about everything than any of them.
As I said, I am lucky, and I am blessed in life. Of course, it will run out one day. Maybe that day will be today, maybe not. But I guarantee one thing. I'm not breaking my side of any of these bargains anytime soon. I once had a discussion with a priest about all of this and asked his opinion. He said "If it works for you, I wouldn't be too concerned". And in life, that is perhaps the biggest truth about how we live our lives, if something is working for you, that is all that really matters.
My mantra "We all love a party" so lets try and make this life as much of a party as we can!
I'm not gonna mess about. The skies are grey. It is raining. The world is run by narcissistic maniacs. Social media has turned into a cesspit of vile abuse. Everyone seems to have an opinion about everything and 99% of it is offensive and ill informed. But don't despair. We let the 1% of terrible things in our lives cast a shadow of the 99% that is great. I can't solve your financial problems, get rid of the trolls, replace the narcissistic leaders with good ones. But I can put a smile on your face, or at least I can try to. So here are ten things that I hope will do the trick. They certainly put a smile on my face!
1, Some sage advice from Fletcher to Godber. If you can't change your situation, change your mindset
2. Perhaps the greatest comedy film ever. Perhaps the best moment. Be careful of false messiah's!
3. Is there a better song? Not for me. When I am down, this does the trick. Mr Ian Dury is the man. Just remember, he wasn't an oil painting. He was disabled. He did this!
4. One of the bands and songs that are massive influences on me. I love this song and the video "Good morning Mrs Jones, how's your Berts Lumbago" is perhaps the best line ever in any song. One I am jealous of!
5. Legend has it that Ritchie Havens made this up on the spot as he was asked to play for longer, as the next band hadn't arrived. I met him at Ronnie Scotts a year before he died. He had an aura unlike anyone. A man of spirituality who just made me feel good.
6. Michael Parkinson with Emu. How can you watch this and not laugh and feel better.
7. The Goodies - Kitten Kong. A classic TV moment. Silly but great fun
8. Hale and Pace, the Swedish Sauna sketch. A much overlooked classic
9, I love James Bond films. I especially love Roger Moore, and not just because of his cool name and the fact he used to live up the road (really). He made the franchise fun. This was the greatest moment.
10. And finally! I've spent the last 47 years trying to make music to make people happy. I hope I've succeeded. Here is "We all love a party" from last year. I think this is a great fun song. People seem to like it..
I hope at least a few of these put a smile on your face. Pass on the love. What do you do to make yourself smile?
So did you come to The Dublin Castle to see The False Dots on Sunday? It was the bands one hundred and thirty sixth gig of our career. Every single one has been an absolute adventure, with stories and memories generated. We've met other bands, great people, seen all manner of venues. We've played for Gangsters and Vicars, Royalty and Robbers! I like to think people come because they know they will have fun and it will be a bit of an event. It's not the Rolling Stones at Wembley, but it is a unique event and no two gigs are the same. We played 12 songs and we didn't even play the 12 we planned, as we got a mate we spotted in the audience to join us on one. We got a great response, and everyone had a boogie. After the gig, a few mates said it was the best one ever. Given that it was my birthday and so I
Rog with Tony Bugbear, Griff and Michele with one 'L' after the gig
had been plied with drinks and forgot a couple of words here and there, or that Fil had equipment problems and his bass cut out a few times, it is, I guess a testament to what we do that people didn't seem to notice, or maybe they just enjoy the rock and roll chaos that seems to be part of what we do. I had an absolute ball. I cannot lie, I'm 64 and you use a lot of energy. I slept well!
Doing a gig is not just playing. We played for one hour, which was 12 songs, all originals. We played two songs for the first time, which seemed to go well. We had two rehearsals dedicated to just getting the set right and finalising the new numbers. Generally rehearsals last 2-3 hours, we time the actual set, to make sure we don't overrun. We also tweak songs that need it. I've no idea how much time we spend on promotion, but we do a lot of work on that. On the Sunday, we were playing at 5pm. The band arrived at noon to soundcheck. The pub wasn't even open. Matthew, the soundman arrived with us. It took Matthew 45 minutes to get everything ready for us. At 12.45, we did the soundcheck. We did the two new numbers, as Tom sang one and I sang the other. It was pretty smooth. Then Little Rock and Niall Logue did their soundchecks. For us, it was a long wait until 4pm.
We always make a point of watching the other bands, chatting to our fans and friends. It was great to see so many new faces, many of whom have been listening to the new album. Several too great delight in quoting a line from the song "Chinese Nosh" at Graham 'Rambo' Ramsey, our drummer. It starts with "Pass the Soy Sauce Rambo" and Gray was quite disconcerted by the number of strangers walking up to him and saying it.
Every artist writes songs for different reasons. We go through different stages. These days, I write songs to put a smile on peoples face and perhaps trigger a few memories. Graham said he played the song to the owner of his local chinese takeaway, who loved it! I am always fascinated by the people everyone else ignores. I always try and chat to the people who run local cafe's and restaurants, many have become friends. If I can immortalise them in song, even better.
People seem to get it. The new album has had well over 1,000 streams on Spotify, Not enough for us to retire, but we've only promoted it on line and at gigs, so that is actually pretty good. We won't retire on the proceeds, but people seem to love it when they hear it.
The gig was the official launch of the album, as well as my birthday party. After we played, I had a few more beers with friends, etc. Everyone was in a brilliant mood. The Promoter, Tony Gleed at Bugbear gave me a box of home grown tomatoes as a present, which was lovely and they were delicious. When we were done, we nipped down to Goodfare Italian, for some pasta and a bottle of wine. All very civilised.. I was tucked up in bed by 10pm. It was a great day. Thanks to everyone who made it special.
