A strange, lonely and troubling death?

The Daily Mail was at it's stupid, uncaring, crass worst yesterday. Jan Moir, that well known, high profile, top reporter, who I'd never heard of until yesterday, and hope I never hear of again, wrote this article about the death of Stephen Gately. Let me quote a couple of paragraphs.

Gay activists are always calling for tolerance and understanding about same-sex relationships, arguing that they are just the same as heterosexual marriages. Not everyone, they say, is like George Michael. Of course, in many cases this may be true. Yet the recent death of Kevin McGee, the former husband of Little Britain star Matt Lucas, and now the dubious events of Gately's last night raise troubling questions about what happened.

Moir draws attention to his "sad, lonely death on the sofa" whilst his partner was elsewhere engaged with a young man they'd met whilst out at a club. This really offends me. In Moir's terms, my own dear Dad had a "sad lonely death". He got up in the night, aged 69, after 43 years of happy marriage. He went downstairs, sat on the sofa and had a heart attack. Mum was up in bed. Gately was no more sad or lonely when he died than my Dad. He probably, rather like my Dad, felt unwell and thought he'd sit on the couch. Like my Dad his heart packed up. In my Dad's case, the post mortem said that in all probability a lifetime of smoking and drinking had weakened his heart. When I read the comments about Gately - he may have smoked a joint -I thought " what right has this woman got to stick the knife in, in a national newspaper". Sure it's a free country, but you have to ask why a paper such as the Daily Mail publishes such tripe. What is there agenda?

About 16 years ago, I had a split with my partner (now my wife) for a while. A friend of mine also went through a split. He found himself homeless. I had a spare room and he lodged with me for a period of 6 months whilst he got himself on his feet. Our lifestyle was one where we'd go to the pub every night, drink ourselves silly, then quite often come home and drink lots more beer. Often we'd meet friends up the pub who would come back for an extended drinking session. There was no sexual element to our friendship, but I couldn't help thinking what Jan Moir would have said if one of us had conked out on the couch after a heavy session. There would probably be all sorts of innuendo, supposition and rumour. What would our friends and family have thought if we'd read this? That's what upsets me about the comments about Gately. Sure Gately and his partner were gay, sure they met a guy and he came back. That much is public record. What else happened? I don't know and I don't care. For all I know, they drunk a load more beer and conked out, completely comatose, then woke to find Gately dead. The point is that it is there business.

As to the effect of Gately's lifestyle. Like my fathers years of smoking and drinking, it was his business. He brought happiness to many people. By all accounts, he was a nice guy. We all have demons. Unlike the pompous, self righteous Moir, I try not to judge people. She ends here article with this comment :-

For once again, under the carapace of glittering, hedonistic celebrity, the ooze of a very different and more dangerous lifestyle has seeped out for all to see.

In my opinion, you can draw a completely different conclusion. My conclusion is that when young men, both straight and gay, go out and enjoy themselves, occasionally something tragic and unforeseen happens.

In my life, I've had many, many nights out which, but for the grace of God, could have ended in a similar tragedy for me or one of my friends, due to extreme excess. I don't lead a "hedonistic celebrity" lifestyle, I just enjoy a good night out. I suspect most of us are the same.Shame on Moir, Shame on the Daily Mail.