The Friday Joke 2/1/2015

First of all, Happy New Year to all Barnet Eye readers. 2015 is guaranteed to be a great year! How do I know? The first working day is a Friday!

I've been saving this one up since August, just for this day. I think it's a cracker !

 

                 Two-Line  Poetry Competition

 

              

THESE  ARE ENTRIES TO THE MORNING STAR NEWSPAPER
COMPETITION ASKING  FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH  THE MOST ROMANTIC  FIRST  LINE,
AND  THE LEAST ROMANTIC  SECOND  LINE:

  1.  My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying  you has screwed up my life.

2.  I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's  why I always wake up screaming.

3.  Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This  describes everything you are not.

4.  Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But  I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5.  I thought that I could love no other
--  that is, until I met your brother.

        6.  Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are  you.
    But  the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty,  and so is your head.

7.  I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8.  I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9.  My love, you take my breath away.
What  have you stepped in to smell this way?

10.  My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except  for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11.  What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two  parts vodka, one part lime.

    WHO  SAID POETRY IS BORING?