Saturday, 16 February 2013

The Saturday List #35 - Ten achievements of Hendon MP Matthew Offord

As ever on Saturday we have our list of interesting things. This week we have the spotlight on our local MP Matthew Offord. We list his top ten achievements since becoming an MP in 2012.  Mr Offord has achieved widespread fame for has absolutely, completely sane, rational and reasonable behaviour.

1. He got on news at ten for opposing gay marriage, suggesting that if it was allowed we'd all become polygamists.

2. He made the politics show with Andrew Neil campaigning for human rights for dogs, when the House of Commons told him he couldn't bring his pooch to work.

3. He achieved an honourable mention in the press for apparently being completely sober in the bar at 1am in the morning at the Tory party conference and indulging in handbags with the Tory chief whip.

4. He famously got mistaken for a soup waiter by David Cameron, when he first appeared in the Commons restaurant. Cameron asked him what soup he'd recommend.

5. Mr Offord has been widely praised for his scheme to bring a cheese shop to Mill Hill Broadway. Despite hoardes of hungry fromagarists eagerly awaiting the opening, this has yet to happen, despite it being one of his 2010 election campaign themes.

6. Mr Offord is also widely known for his appreciation of a good party in a Jacuzzi. If you have a jacuzzi in your back garden and you are having a party, ask him along. He really enjoys it.

7. Mr Offord has also been a member of the Parliamentary Armed forces scheme, which has allowed him to fly with the Army to South America and personally close down several major international drugs cartels (Well that was the impression he gave).

8. Mr Offord also received widespread acclaim for his attack on his former best mate and local party activist Adrian Murray Leonard. After the 2010 election, when Mr Offord no longer needed teams of willing doorknockers, he publicly attacked Mr Murray Leonard, accusing him of all manner of bad behaviour (which Mr Murray Leonard denies). It seems that having secured the job of MP, he apparently found a conscience.

9. On the subject of falling out with mates, apparently relations are somewhat strained between himself and his former best mate, ardent supporter and boss, Mike Freer MP. The two have fallen out as Mr Freer is an impassioned supporter of gay marriage, which Offord opposes.

10. Matthew is a very bright chap. He recently became a Doctor receiving a PhD for his work. ‘Rural Governance and Economic Development: The Changing Landscape of Rural Local Government’. It is an academic examination that considers whether changes introduced through the Local Government Act 2000 has introduced a measure of uniformity in the way rural councils work.Clearly this work has massively assisted him in his inderstanding of how to help his more deprived constituents in Burnt Oak, Grahame Park and Colindale.

Matthew is a tireless campaigner (yes he has absolutely no tires at all) and has built a reputation based on all of the work he has done for his constituents. Click here to see his busy calendar of events where you can meet him and tell him what a marvellous job he's doing

Matthew is also an extremely honest MP as can be seen by the analysis of the One Barnet program on his website

As you can see that Matthew is convinced this is a fantastic idea. To quote his website

"The proposal has been established on a proper business case evidenced by the agreement of the Council’s own Section 151 Monitoring Officer."

Matthew is clearly impressed that a part time consultant, who is clearly clever enough to sort out rather beneficial tax arrangements, has told him that there is a proper business case !!!!

Lets hope Matthew gets hold of this and publishes it on his website. He is also rather impressed that the press reported that the council were considering changes way back 2009. It is marvellous that he has taken so much interest in the program. Strangely he doesn't mention he was one of the architects of it as Deputy Leader of Barnet Council? I wonder why that could be? Maybe he doesn't want it to become number eleven on the list.

1 comment:

Dave-ros said...

I like how polygamy is being held up as something horrible, as though it'll scare us away from gay marriage; what's wrong with a man having multiple consenting wives, or vice versa? Or any gender-related combination of consenting adults? Surely politicians would be in favour, since the sheer complexity regarding taxation, rights in the case of a divorce etc. would create massive amounts of work for their friends in the legal business!