Hi, Fred, this is Dan next door. I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can no longer live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincerest apology and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Regards, Alan.
Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed...then grabbed his gun and shot his neighbor Dan dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and sat down on the sofa. Fred took out his phone where he saw a second message from Dan.
Hi, Fred, this is Dan next door, again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect that you figured it out and noticed that darned Auto Correct changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” That’s today’s technology for you, hey?