Matthew Offord - The Incredible Invisible Shrinking MP

Matthew and friends

Matthew, where are you? Matthew, where are you?

It seems no one knows where Matthew is? In case you hadn't noticed, there is an election in May for the Mayor of London. Boris and Brian have taken a hammering in Barnet, due to Brian Colemans catastrophic parking charges blunders. In the circumstances, you would think that the local MP Matthew Offord would be out knocking on doors, trying to rally the troops.

I was not surprised to be told that there was a story on the Hendon Conservatives website about an MP out on the streets of Mill Hill, helping octogenerian Councillor John Hart delivering BackBoris leaflets. That's what Tory MP's are meant to do, isn't it? What is rather more surprising is that the MP in question is not the MP for Hendon. He's not even an MP in the London Borough of Barnet, in fact he's not even an MP in London. Nope, the MP helping dear old Johnny Hart is Dan Byles, MP for a Warwickshire constituency - http://www.hendonconservatives.org/news/delivering-envelopes-boris-johnsons-re-election-can-be-fun - one has to wonder if any sane politician who is familiar with Barnet would really want to go out on the streets canvassing for Brian Coleman right now.

Mind you given the complete disappearance of Matthew Offord from the streets of Hendon, I bet more people would recognise Mr Byle than Matthew. I bumped into a local Tory activist delivering leaflets and asked where Matthew was. His response "I dunno, probably walking his dog". I asked how the campaign was going, to which he rolled his eyes "If it wasn't for the fact that I hate Livingstones guts, I'd have jacked it in". Sadly I think that reflects the views of a significant number of Barnet Tories. More than a couple have told me privately that they will be abstaining in the GLA vote. It will be fascinating to see how many people in Barnet tick the box for Boris and don't for Brian. 

The Barnet Eye List of the day : 10 things which make politicians repugnant

1. Troughing
2. Hypocracy
3. Lying to the public
4. Hiking taxes which they are exempt from
5. Feigning sadness when colleagues fall ill, knowing that it means they might get a promotion
6. Making claims for expenses for things the rest of us have to pay for (eg Congestion charges, cabs back from dinners)
7. Sponging
8. Insulting members of the public, from positions of privilege
9. Going on holiday at the taxpayers expense
10. Abusing people who have worked hard to achieve their position in society

This is Barnet in 2011. Is this really what the public want or expect from their politicians? There is just a little bit too much of it all going on, don't you agree? (P.S Click on the underlined bits for examples of what I mean)

Saracens Stadium : The Tories, John Hart, Brian Coleman and the big Tory lie

Exactly a year ago today, I was about to find out that I'd failed in my bid to become a Barnet Councillor in Mill Hill ward.  The jubilant Tory victor, John Hart gloatingly told me that "You know the leaflet about Kentish Town FC at Copthall got us 1,000 votes". Basically the Tories had distributed a leaflet claiming that local Lib Dems (who at the time had 6 out of 63 councillors) were planning a massive stadium for Kentish Town FC (average gate 27 people) at Copthall. This scare tactic worked. It was a complete load of bollocks, but as it won John Hart and his two Tories the seats, he thought it was a jolly ruse.

Here is a scare story planted by the Tories in the press before the election
http://www.times-series.co.uk/your_local_areas/edgwarenews/5066966.Stadium_fears_for_playing_fields_site/

What Hart told no one was that the local Tories were planning a 10,000 seat Rugby stadium for Saracens there. Local residents are outraged and many have told me that the Tories have breached their trust for good. This is why Matthew Offord and Brian Coleman now are pretending to be against the proposal. They both know that the 1,000 votes they won from the Lib Dems would see them out on their ear. In Colemans case, he stands for the GLA next year, just as the Rugby stadium would be opening.

 This is why they both announced a sudden conversion to the cause of the local opponents, as detailed on the Times website today.

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/9006454.Two_Tories_oppose_Saracens_Copthall_plans/

Strangely for someone who is keen to fleece CPZ residents throughout the rest of the Borough, Coleman has denied plans at Copthall, could this again be due to the GLA elections next year. Rather like the Saracens Stadium, I wonder what nasty shock will greet us if he gets re-elected?

The truth is that if the local Tory regime, which these two are senior members of, wanted to stop the stadium, they would. Coleman has already made his position on CPZ's well known

These two are purely shouting to save their skins. Please don't be fooled by their posturing.

Are the Hendon Times Transvestophobic?

The lead story on the Hendon Times website at the moment is one urging caution against a Transvestite Con Artist - http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/topstories/8719139.Warning_over_transvestite_con_artist/

To me this is a blatent case of sexism. Why should we only be concerned about Transvestite con artists, especially ones who, according to the story, have been arrested?

Isn't it about time that they issued a warning about the 37 people masquerading as Conservative Councillors in Barnet Town Hall. This mob got elected by pretending to be Tories but have done many things at odds with their own parties policies :-

Upped their own allowances, despite criticism from Tory Government minister Grant Shapps

Refused to publish details of gifts and other jollies against Tory party policy on transparancy

Continued to recruit expensive council senior employees when the government has urged a freeze

Embarked on a bonkers program of quango creation when the Government has recommended cutting them

Raising stealth taxes such as parking fees

Here's a few other things  that they didn't tell you in their manifesto which they've been planning since the election barely six months ago :-

Closing down the Arts Depot

Closing and selling off the Boroughs Libraries

Closing and selling off the Boroughs Museums

Closing and selling off the Boroughs Morgues

Making certain types of household rubbish collection fortnightly

No neighbourhood skip service

30% reduction in Sure Start Centres

Oh and then there's my favourite whopper of the lot. At the election they pretended that the Mill Hill Lib Dems were planning a 500 seat football stadium at Copthall. What they didn't tell you was that they were planning a 10,000 seat Rugby Stadium !!!!

Here's the proof  - John Hart in March, railing against the Kentish Town stand for 50 people :-
http://www.times-series.co.uk/your_local_areas/5066966.Stadium_fears_for_playing_fields_site/

Yet not a peep when this story hit the news stands. In fact Tory MP Matthew Offord is on record as saying it's a splended scheme.
http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/topstories/8464244.Council_approached_by_Saracens_over_Copthall_Stadium/

So why is it that only Transvestite con artists are singled out? Transvestophobia if you ask me.

Watling Boys Club - A question for Matthew Offord

PMQs 3 Nov 2010 Matthew Offord hon gent from Barnet Bugle on Vimeo.

First off, many thanks to Dan Hope for posting this clip. Whatever you may think of Dan, he's one of the few Barnet Tories not to skulk in the shadows.

Anyway on to the clip of Matthew Offord at PMQ's. I have extremely mixed feelings about this intervention. Firstly I fully agree that we need clubs like "The Watling Club" (to give it it's proper name) or "Watling Boys Club" (to use the old name). I applaud Offord for raising the subject and he's right to raise it.

Before we get too carried away with all of this, lets consider the actual history of Watling Boys Club and why the building is shut. The club was supposed to move to Burnt Oak leisure centre. An upstairs area was designated for the club. Sadly the Council (of which Matthew Offord was Deputy leader) reneged on the deal. As  result, Watling Club, which used to be a premier football and boxing club, found it virtually impossible to function. Wheras before it provided an outlet for the energies of local boys from one of the poorer parts of Barnet, it slowly started to die. Spurs great Steve Perryman was one of the graduates from the Watling Football team. The team was still a force, but there was no infrastructure to support youth football.

As a result, last seasons under 16's were the last team to come through. They were Harrow and District under 16 league champions last year -

http://www.football.mitoo.co.uk/LeagueTab.cfm?TblName=Matches&DivisionID=10324&LeagueCode=HYFL2009

Many of these boys have gone on to well established non league clubs. It looked for all the world as if the club would die last May. A group of local parents then approached the club in 2008 to see if they could help form and under 8 team. This was successfully established and we now have under 10, 9 & 8 teams up and running. I know all this as my son was one of the boys in that under 8 team. It is abundantly clear to anyone who has been involved that there is a huge need for the team. I regularly drive 4 of the boys to away matches, as do other parents.

What help have we had from the Council? Very little. We have no clubhouse, we use the Burnt Oak leisure centre as do many other clubs on a similar basis, boys turn up and they go home again. It's all very well for the Matthew Offords of this world to ask questions at PMQ's. How much better would it have been if he'd given the club some help when he was at the Council and actually in a position to change things.

As with many youth football teams, they run on the goodwill of parents, who go out of their way to make sure things happen. Sadly clubs often fold when a hard working parent moves, gets ill or loses interest. In his answer, Mr Cameron said that he'd set up a new £100 million fund to support clubs like Watling. I immediately thought "hang on, that is less than the turnover of a middle ranking premiership club" with maybe 40 people on the staff. Not quite so impressive when you look at it like that. Of course it's a start and in this climate it's £100 million more than it could be. If it is properly directed, it could make a big difference.

Barnet has an atrocious record of supporting football. Watling FC isn't the only club to have problems with the Council. Barnet FC have been rebuffed in favour of Saracens Rugby Club, despite having a far stronger association with Barnet. Hendon Town FC have been forced out of their ground as have Edgware Town FC.
Local Conservatives even put out an election leaflet in Mill Hill criticising Kentish Town FC, who play at Chase Lodge for planning to put up a clubhouse for a hundred or so people. Why is a 10,000 seat stadium fine for Rugby, but not for Football?

Anyway at the start of this blog, I said I had a question for Mr Offord. It's this - How much of Mr Camerons £100,000,000 will be winging it's way to "The Watling Club" and when can we see some decent facilities for the boys my son plays football with every week.

A naughty German has been trying to interfere with Matthew Offord MP !

Oh dear, oh dear. Poor old MP for Hendon, Matthew Offord has been interfered with by a German hacker! Mr Offord reports of this violation on his fascinating website -

http://www.matthewofford.co.uk/newsshow.aspx?ref=29

I had to chuckle as  I read Mr Offords prose. He seems to be affecting Royal pretentions with his "My wife and I..." turn of phrase. Do you suppose he's bought a few corgi's?  I wonder what fascinating story we'll have next "I received a charming email from someone telling me I'd won £600 million pounds in the lottery" or the suchlike.

Mr Offord goes on to boast that he has 19,635 Facebook friends. Now I thought "My word, our Matthew has a lot of friends" so I checked his profile to see who all these people were -

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1015903303

Rather strangely, it only shows 419 friends on his profile ????? Where have the other 19,616 gone? I decided to have a look. Rather oddly, it seems that he isn't friends with some of his own councillors in Hendon. One wonders if Mr Offord "de-friended" them for their impudence in challing his mentor, Council Leader Lynne Hillan during the recent leadership scrap at the Town Hall.


I was rather impressed to see that Matthew is a member of the group "surfers against sewage". Whilst I hardly expected him to be a member of "surfers for sewage" it is good to see him standing up for green causes - hopefully not knee deep in the brown stuff. I bet he's glad he's no longer associated with his other "like" Barnet Council if he's not to keen on the concept of being swamped with S**T.

Anyway, the good news is that the naughty German who tried to interfere with Matthew failed, so he can go back to spending his days playing with Facebook with impunity.

Before we leave Matthews lovely site, it's worth checking his post about community Policing.

http://www.matthewofford.co.uk/newsshow.aspx?ref=28

In his discussion about Tory plans to cut community policing he says :-

“Past Labour MPs were already planning 20% cuts before the last General Election but they just hadn't told us where they would come from. So these cuts are Labour cuts. If Labour don't like what we're doing, they need to come up with an alternative plan beyond putting up the Council Tax or ‘taxing the bankers’. Both these options are a cop out by those who haven’t got a clue about the lives of real people in this constituency”.

The whole post is rather odd. He seems to be saying "don't blame us for the cuts, the other lot thought about doing it as well". Not exactly the most convincing line of arguement. I've thought about running away with Uma Thurman on many occasion, does that mean that if Matthew Offord does it, it's my fault (not that there's too much chance of that)?

Then he goes on to criticise Labour for plans to tax bankers? Didn't he listen to George Osborne's budget (or was he too plastered to care?). Anway, just to bring our MP up to speed, George Osborne introduced a Bank Levy tax at the last budget. Matt the Prat should check his own party policy before sounding off.  I suppose he must include himself in the description of people who don't have a clue about the real people in Hendon. If it wasn't for the fact that this useless idiot is meant to represent all of us in Hendon, it would be quite funny.

Barnet Council Update : Mother in Law jokes ban & Matthew Offord

Word reaches the Barnet Eye that there is more to the Barnet Council Mother in Law joke ban than meets the eye. I can say no more. Please contact newly wed Hendon MP and former leader of Barnet Council Matthew Offord for more details on Council Policy towards Mother in Laws.

Matthew has a brand new website - not a Mother in Law joke in sight

On a totally different subject. Does anyone know if the Berkley Hunt is still going ?

Barnet Eye war on Spongers and Parasites : Villiers approves of troughing

There are three Tory MP's in Barnet. Two have one house and one has two. We used to have three MP's who all had two houses, but one got slung out and the other retired. All three of them claimed a second home allowance. Theresa Villiers is the one who is still there. Despite the fact that she can get from Barnet to Westminster in less than an hour by public transport, she thinks she needs a second home subsidised by the Taxman nearer Parliament. To their credit the new Tory MP's Freer and Offord, have said that they are quite happy commuting (see boys, I do say nice things about you when you deserve it).

It seems that wheras Freer and Offord are preapred to criticise the troughing in Barnet Council, Theresa Villiers MP, the one with the second home, thinks it's fine. She thinks its up to councillors to decide there own pay and if they decide to take the piss, that's fine.

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/8282873.Villiers_fails_to_condemn_council_pay_hike/?ref=mr

Her statement :-

This issue is for the Council to determine. As an MP, I have no say in decisions made by elected councillors on pay and allowances. This is a matter for local, not national, decision-making.

 Lets get this right then. A minister of government (yes she is amazingly enough) thinks local Councillors can do what they like? There is a rumour that this statement was made because Lynne Hillan and Brian Coleman reminded her that they said nothing about her troughing. That's how it works. You turn a blind eye to my troughing and I'll turn a blind eye to yours.

She is a disgrace and not fit to be a part of the government. In fact the only job she's fit for is putting out the pigswill for the porkers to feast on. Let me remind you Tessie, that you are an MP, you are meant to show a bit of Leadership. You have failed the voters of Barnet

Barnet Council - David Camerons Militant Tendency moment

Do you remember militant tendency in Liverpool in the 1980's. A group of renegade councillors took over the party. Ordinary Labour members, people of conscience, were targetted, forced out and humiliated. Seemingly super left wing policies were implemented, but in reality these were just "jobs for the boys" posts, providing nice cushy numbers for party cadres. Councillors such as Derek Hatton lived the high life at the taxpayers expense, using the system to the maximum. Tony Blair won middle England by showing that he had the balls to deal with the hard left. It was surgically removed (along with most of the rest of the left).

Move forward to 2010 in Barnet. There is a new Militant Tendency. This time it's not hard left but the parasitic right. Ordinary Tory councillors such as Dan Hope were deselected to allow cadres in and set the stage for the Mike Freer/Brian Coleman coup in 2006 against then Leader Brian Salinger.Now we are really seeing the chickens coming home to roost. Just as Militant in Liverpool set out to destroy well respected sensible working class socialists, the Tory Parasitic Tendency have started the same sort of repulsive action against the sensible right in Barnet. When Councillor Kate Salinger opposed the huge increases for Tory councillors, she was stripped of all responsibility in a vile dressing down. In the Barnet Tories house blog, a cabinet member was reported as saying the following about Salinger

"already a marginal figure and her actions have ostracised her entirely and she is now history"

If I'd written an article about militant tendency and used that in the context of how they treated normal Labour members, you wouldn't have been surprised would you? Another aspect of the Barnet regime is the "Future Shape" project. Liverpool Council launched many hard left initiatives which were designed merely to provide jobs for party cadres. Future Shape is Barnet Councils five year plan to ensure that all opponents of the regime are surgically removed at every level of the council. I suspect it is the cadre system under another name, but wheras in Labour cadres are "loyalists to the regime", the cadres in Barnet will be fat corporations and their directors who can provide "generous support" (or maybe free dinners) to the local Tory Party bigwigs.

The question for all members of the Tory Party is this. At what stage to you treat this cancer? Do you follow the example of the Labour party and wait until it's too late, so that the secondaries (Tony Blair/Peter Mandelson) can come along and gobble you up? If I was David Cameron, I'd take action now. If he really is a firm decisive leader, he will get on the phone to Lynne Hillan and tell her to go. He will get on the phone to Boris and tell him to sack Brian Coleman as the head of the LFEPA. He will put out a statement saying that any Conservative Councillors which put greed and personal before the interests of the people of Barnet wll be harshly despatched. He should write to all Barnet Conservative Councillors and remind them of their duty to the people of Barnet and tell them to elect  a new Leader, one who can restore the respect of the people of Barnet.

We are all in for a torrid time in the next five years. This Government is going to make huge cuts to the public sector and this will cause job losses across the economy. Two out of three seats in Barnet are marginals and flipped from Labour to Tory, one by only 106 votes. If there was an election in Hendon today, Matthew Offord would lose because of this trousering. Former Labour MP Andrew Dismore has been quick off the mark - http://www.dismore4hendon.com/conservative-council-pay-rises - to start a petition against the rise. Mr Dismore believes that the Coalition government will fail within six months and he'll be back in his job. There are already rumours of hard right Tory unrest.
I can guarantee that if this happens, Dismore will win in Hendon following the stories from Barnet this week. As to Finchley and Mike Freer. That will be harder to call, but Freer knows it is a massive problem which is why he's come out strongly against the increase.

So the question is this. Does David Cameron have the balls to squash this cancer of parasitism and troughing in Barnet now or will he just sit back and let it spread. There are two reasons Labour lost the last election. The words Gordon and Brown. He's gone. They will have David Milliband at the next election and will be up for the fight. There are over 700 schools affected and this will have an enormous effect in the marginals. There are several in Barnet.

There are three sound reasons why David Cameron must act now

1) Because Barnet Councillors are undermining his personal authority and making him look stupid
2) Because it is good politics and may save him two marginal seats
3) Because it is the right thing to do

And Mr Cameron would do well to remember this. Tony Blair massively enhanced his personal reputation by dealing with such elements in the Labour Party.

By the way, I can see from my stats that someone who lives at Mr Camerons house reads this blog. If you are reading Dave, there is one more thing I'd like you to do, as a special favour to me and everyone else with a conscience in Barnet. Please give Councillor Kate Salinger an OBE at the first possible opportunity. I believe that of all of the Tory Councillors in the UK this morning there is no one who is more deserving, has shown more courage and decency and no one who deserves it more. She is the only thing in Barnet which says the local party is not completely beyond redemption in its current form.

Barnet Tory MP's : Hypocrites one and all

The people of Barnet voted to elect a Conservative Council and three Conservative MP's. What did you expect from them all? Did you expect a massive extension of the schools building program under a Conservative government? Did you expect the poorest children in Barnet, who attend the worst schools to get cash thrown at them? Well if you voted Tory and are suddenly shocked to find our new government has cancelled the rebuilding of all the delapidated schools in Barnet, I'm afraid to say you only have yourself to blame.

The local paper reports that our local Tory MP's Theresa Villiers (a member of the Government), Mike Freer and Matthew Offord are meeting education secretary Micahel Gove to see what can be done. They should save their efforts. It is quite simple what will happen. Gove will say "Blame it all on Labour" then say "tell them it has to be done or the country will go broke".

Sadly though that is a porkie. There is always an alternative. Sure things have to be cut, but not necessarily this budget. There are other things. Trident could be scrapped. Taxes on the very rich could be raised (people like Moir Lockhead who gets paid £800,000 to run First Capital Connect). Allowances for councillors (such as Brian Coleman who gets £113,000 from the public purse for a string of non jobs) could be slashed. Consultants writing "blue sky reports" for £1,500 a day consultancies could be sacked. The culture of layer upon layer of managers in public bodies could be ended.  One of the "sacred cows" of the Governments spending cuts is the NHS. I wonder how many bureaucrats simply generating paperwork could be sacked with no effect on anyone. As for the Police, how much time do officers waste doing pointless paperwork.

I don't believe that we need to cancel any of these. We just need our local MP's to get off their backsides and start working. They need to start identifying waste in their own constituencies. If Matthew Offord said "We can save these schools if we can find the cash by cutting elsewhere and being really ruthless" I may have some respect for him. He won't because he's too lazy. He's the man who told me that 5-15% of Barnet Councils budget was wasted. This is enough to save the school rebuilding program. He did nothing about it as deputy leader and he's doing nothing about it as MP.

Sadly they are all hypocrites shedding crocodile tears for people they don't care about at all.

Is Barnet Council run by complete twats?

You will be pleased to know that Barnet Council, not content with losing our money in Iceland, keeping Lawyers R Us in work for years with many and varied cock ups and doing their bit to prop up hard up building contractors with huge overspends on Aerodrome Road, have found a new way to waste your money. They've started issuing press releases on how to have barbeques.

http://www.barnet.gov.uk/press_releases.htm?id=2225

Sadly Councillor Melvin Cohen, Cabinet Member for Governance and Civic Affairs, who issued the release doesn't advise us on a good red to go with a burnt burger, or even tell us where we can source the finest sardines in Barnet (they are great on the Barbeque) - my advice - try the fishmongers in Burnt Oak. Nope, Melvin gives us some advice on how not to kill ourselves. I didn't realise this was covered by Governance and Civic Affairs, but Melv, ever the, clearly wants to grow the role. Anyway, I'd hate to think any Barnet Eye's readers will die, due to not reading Melvins advice. I must be a bit strange as when I'm having a barbeque, I don't automatically check the Council website for hints. If any of you have managed to miss Melv's tips - here you go.


* Cook food thoroughly so it is piping hot throughout. With chicken and meat, when you cut into the deepest part there should be no pinkness and juices should run clear

* Some meat, such as steaks and joints of beef or lamb, can be served rare as long as the outside has been properly cooked or 'sealed'. It's important to seal meat to kill any bacteria that may be on the outside

* Keep raw meat separate from ready-to-eat food. Store raw meat and poultry in sealed containers at the bottom of the fridge to avoid dripping on other food. Never use the same chopping board for raw meat and ready to eat food without washing the board and knife in between

* Don't wash meat before cooking it. Washing does not get rid of harmful germs - only proper cooking will. You also run the risk of splashing germs onto worktops and utensils.

The Barnet Eye would like to add a few helpful hints which Melvin seemed to miss.

* Don't drink three bottles of vodka before you light the Barbeque as you may set yourself on fire


* Don't plung your face into the red hot coals on the Barbeque as it will hurt (unless you've drunk six bottles of vodka, then the pain will be deferred till you sober up)

* Always make sure you are outside of the house when you light the barbeque or you may burn your house down

* Do not rest the baby on top of the barbeque stove when it is hot or you will burn the baby

* Don't relight the barbeque by pouring petrol on as you may burn yourself to death

Now you may find all of these rather obvious ( a bit like Melvins tips really) but they are all stories which cropped up when I googled for a few Barbeque related injuries. Whilst it clearly is an extremely serious matter, it strikes me that if the Council has enough press officers to sit around writing this rubbish, it has enough press officers to make a few redundant.

I look forward to Melvins next safety email. Maybe he could have a chat with Matthew Offord MP and do a "safety in jacuzzis" press release or even Brian Coleman and do a "why we should obey the speed limit" press release. Or even better. Maybe he could actually try and run the council properly and cut out this crap.

First Picture of New Barnet Conservative Council Cabinet

Group Photo of Barnet Conservative Council Cabinet

L-R Councillor Matthew Offord, Leader Lynne Hillan, Councillor Andrew Harper, Councillor Richard Cornelius, Councillor Melvin Cohen, Councillor Helena Hart, Councillor Daniel Thomas, Councillor Sachin Rajput, Councillor Robert Rams, Councillor Daniel Webb.

The new Cabinet would like to thank Mayor Brian Coleman for making the tea and bringing the biscuits whilst they celebrated their new jobs and would like to say sorry for not bothering to turn up on time to welcome him into the chamber aferwards at the last cabinet meeting.

Members of the public will be pleased to see the new busts of former council leaders Victor Lyon and Brian Salinger in the background.

Please note this picture is a spoof. Any likeness between any member of Barnet Council and totally wooden puppets on strings is purely coincidental

A very good week for Andrew Dismore

The sitting MP for Hendon, Andrew Dismore has not been getting too much good press of late, what with expenses scandals and the associated incoming flack. Although he has a decent sized majority, he must know that he is more vulnerable than at any time since he took the seat from Tory John Gorst in 1997. I should imagine that last night he nipped out from his lovely house in Notting Hill Gate to one of the rather nice, swanky bistros around the corner and sunk a bottle or three of the good stuff. Why would Andrew be in such upbeat spirits? Well he's nothing if not hard working, our Andrew. He will have read the latest press release from Lynne Hillan's Barnet Tory Council announcing her cabinet.

There are several pieces of very good news for Andrew contained in this document. Firstly and most obviously the fact that his Tory opponent for the seat, Matthew Offord, appears to have given up on the chance of winning in Hendon. How could he tell this. Well Mike Freer, former Leader quit the cabinet to concentrate on his duties as a candidate for Finchley. Given that Finchley is a far more winnable seat for Freer, surely Offord should be devoting every spare second if he thought he had a chance, as Freer has done. Secondly, Bulmer has kept Offord in his Community Engagement and Community Safety job. So far this has involved Offord putting out nanny state style press releases which have been widely lampooned and have only succeeded in making Offord look silly. Here is my favourite quote from Matthew

Councillor Matthew Offord, Cabinet Member for Community Engagement and Community Safety, said: “Toys are usually at the top of most children’s Christmas lists, so it is particularly important this time of year to think carefully when buying gifts whether the toy is age appropriate and safe. Remove all packaging once the toys have been unwrapped and keep a careful eye to make sure little ones are playing with the right toys. By keeping toy safety at the top of your list you should be providing your children a safe and fun Christmas to remember.”

You see Matthew seems to believe that we all give our three year olds flick knives, plastic bags and matches for Christmas. It doesn't seem to occur to him that parents no1 concern is the well being of their children and we don't need advice from him to tell us to look after them.

The third piece of good news, probably the best bit as far as Andrew is concerned is the fact that Robert Rams is continuiung as Cabinet Member for Investment in Learning. Why should this be such good news for Andrew? Well for most families in Hendon, the one area where they are most likely to come into conflict with the Tory Council is their childrens education. We currently have countless children being taught in portacabins, we had new IT suites closed to make way for emergency classrooms and we had thousands of parents getting stressed due to the council not providing enough places at their schools of choice. Who is this down to? The cabinet member responsible for Investment in Education. When is this whole fiasco going to be at it's worst next year? Right in the middle of the general election campaign? Councillor Robert Rams has built up a reputation for not being up to the job. Apparently he's very good at ringing up the local paper to complain to the editor that articles are beastly, but when it comes to actually doing his job? Andrew Dismore knows this and as I mentioned he's a hard worker and extremely meticulous. I expect him to throw the kitchen sink at Rams and his incompetence. I fully expect Rams to shout back, "that's not fair, it's not my fault, someone else did it".

The bottom line for the voters of Hendon is this. Do you want someone who clearly can't even be bothered to pull his finger out and campaign - Matthew Offord, or do you want Andrew Dismore, who lets just say has been filling the papers with stories about his expenses? If the thought of choosing between these two doesn't exactly fill your heart with joy, you could always have a look at what Matthew Harris, The Lib Dem alternative has to say.

(Picture : Andrew Dismore MP nips around to no 10 for tea and biscuits with Gordon Brown, with Sgt Dan Reid of the Edgware Safer Neighbourhood team)

Some serious thought

Why do I do it (the Blog)? That's a really easy answer. I've lived in Mill Hill from the day I was born, till today (with a spell of six months in Stockholm in 1981 and a year in Queensbury in 1986/7). My children go to school and I love the place. My kids joke that I know everyone in Mill Hill because I can't walk up the Broadway without saying hello and having a chat. A quick trip to M&S for some plums or Iceland for some sardines will often take 1/2 an hour as I gossip to someone or the other. A night out for a curry invariably leads to a good old chinwag with someone. I write the blog because I passionately believe we deserve better and the best way to get it is to shout from the rafters.Not everyone likes my style of writing. For instance I'm often asked by people why I give people nicknames, such as Matthew Offord who I call Captain Useless. I explain that Matthew Offord has made a big deal of how his nautical exploits have made him ideally suited to "running the ship". He even said so in his blog. I however happen to think he has a track record for being completely useless. I could call him "Matthew Offord, the bloke who reckons he is the ideal choice for Parliament in Hendon, because he sails a boat, but who had a disasterous record as deputy Leader of Barnet Council and had to be moved to a role where his job is to issue press releases advising parents not to let their babies play with plastic bags", but I happen to think "Captain Useless" is more succinct and sums him up equally well. I don't expect everyone to like my style of writing, but it's I write how I think and anything else would be dishonest. I happen to know for a fact that this blog (and the other Barnet blogs) have made a huge impact on Barnet Council and many policy decisions. We've not won every battle, but we're winning more than we are losing. That is why Tory Councillors, Barnet Council employees, The press, residents, pressure groups and tenants contact us and spill the beans on a regular basis. That's why the Guardian, the BBC and countless other organisations link to this blog. I happen to believe that scrutiny makes for better service and I believe that this blog has scrutinised and improved Barnet in a small way, for the benefit of the residents and Council Tax payers.

Having written this blog for well over a year and established a reputation, I ponder what the next thing I should do is. It is clear to me that the current administration running Barnet Council really aren't up to the job. Could I do better? Well I've been pretty successful at the things I've set my mind to in life. I like to think I'm pretty honest and hard working. I'd like to think that I can work with people and get things done. I have a track record for getting the best out of some pretty difficult people and I've made good things happen from some pretty poor starting positions. After the Brian Coleman standards case, many people congratulated me for standing up to Coleman. Many urged me to stand for the Council in the forthcoming elections. I ponder what I could do and what I could add.

In an ideal world, if I was on the group that ran the council, the first thing I'd do is I'd put every scrap of council business (apart from sensitive information such as Child protection issues) online. I'd put all council invoices over £1000 on line (as the GLA do) and I'd publish the results of all tenders for business (in summary). This would make the whole process transparent and I think it would save money.

Secondly I'd make sure that scrutiny committees did their job. These should be chaired by the party in opposition and they should be a complete pain in the bum (in a constructive way) for the party in power. Nothing would make this work better than having a real Tory like "Don't Call Me Dave" Miller or Dan Hope beating us up and makings ure we did our job. Sure they'd grip about some of the policies and we'd ignore them, but if we cocked up, they would spot it and we'd fix the problem. What we have now is a system where the Lib Dem and Labour opposition spot problems and the Tories use their inbuilt majority and chairmanship to ignore valid criticism. I'd spend more money on areas where there would be real benefit for the citizens of Barnet (more trading standards officers to catch rogue traders) and less on politically motivated appointments. I'd sack all of the future shape consultants and concentrate on eliminating waste at ground level. I've got three children of school age. I'd spend more money on recreation facilities, because I believe that the devil makes work for idle hands. My daughter is a national swimming champion and my son is a goalie for a successful under 10 football team. I'd support the volunteers who run these to the hilt, giving small cash grants to help. For example the several thousand pounds Barnet Council spent on their budget simulator for the website, which is a complete joke, could have been parcelled up into small grants of say £200 and bought football kits for all the kids in the borough playing under 10 football who are too poor to afford them. A club such as Watling FC, which my son belongs to could do huge amounts of good with tiny amounts. I would fund all of this out of savings delivered by "open procurement", getting rid of consultants who only ever deliver reports recommending more reports and scrapping all of these money wasting gimmicks such as web budget simulators.

I happen to believe that there are too many stuffed shirts within Barnet Council. They turn up, collect their allowance and do sweet FA. For example, check this website for Brunswick Park Councillors which include Lynne Hillan - who thinks she's the person who should be running the Council. The head of campaigning at Conservative Party HQ said the following 'If you have a website rule no1 is keep it updated' - Checking Hillans website, you have to conclude that they've either done nothing as ward councillors or are too lazy to bother to update their website. Bizarrely, the only item on it is a recipe for Kologassi. From this, can we conclude that all Councillors Tambourides, Rutter and Hillan have been doing is eating dinner. One thing you could be 100% sure of if I was on the Council is that the ward website would be kept up to date!

So what am I trying to say? Well I'm saying that I've given the matter some serious thought. If I thought I couldn't do a better job than the likes of Hillan, Coleman and Offord I most certainly wouldn't bother. I guess though, that the issue isn't whether I think that, it's whether anyone else thinks it.

Matthew Offord political career and the assassins stiletto blade?

Here's an interesting thought. Over the last couple of days, this blog has highlighted a couple of press releases which make the Conservative parliamentary candidate for Hendon, Matthew Offord (AKA Captain Useless) look rather silly. As I was sitting contemplating the bottom of my glass, a strange thought entered my head.

When Matthew was selected for the seat, it looked pretty rock solid and unwinnable for the Tories. As Gordon Browns regime rating have sunk and Hendon has become more winnable, it has become a juicier plum. Is there someone out there in the Barnet Council communications department who could be deliberately rustling up dodgy press releases for Matthew Offord that will attract derision? Is someone out there trying to nobble him?

Could it possibly be that someone who helps put the Councils PR together has aspirations of becoming an MP? Is there someone there with a history of Political assassination? If I was Matthew Offord, I'd be very wary. Matthew, you should triple check everything from now on which goes out with your name on. Matthew, I'm just making a wild guess here, but I think someone is after your job.

Captain Useless Update : Matthew Offord is lost in Edgware !

Matthew Offord, AKA Captain Useless, likes to boast about his nautical prowess. Sadly, for someone who'd like us to believe that he's Hendons answer to Captain Cook, he doesn't even seem to know his way around his own Constituency. I found this press release from the good Captain on the Barnet Council website (click on the picture or go to the website for a more readable form).

I was completely gobsmacked to read the following :-

Residents in a Mill Hill street got the chance to meet Police, Neighbourhood Watch,Trading Standards Officers and members of London Fire Brigade face to face in an opportunity to learn how best keep themselves and their belongings safe.
On Thursday 19 November between 10am to 2pm Hale Safer Neighbourhood Team in partnership with Barnet Council Trading Standards, Barnet Neighbourhood Watch and the London Fire Brigade visited every resident in Farm Road, Mill Hill, to provide crime prevention and fire safety advice aswell as information on dealing with rogue traders. The road was chosen as it has been the target of rogue traders in the past.

You see, Farm Road is in Edgware.

If the former Deputy Leader of the Council and Parliamentacy Candidate for Hendon, doesn't even know the difference between Mill Hill and Edgware, it really does show an appalling lack of knoweldge about his constituency. There was much malicious gossip as to why he didn't attend Tory Leader David Camerons Q&A session last week, which was staged at Hasmonean School for Boys in Hendon. Could the explanation be far more mundane? Was Offord just wandering around Burnt Oak looking for it? Yesterday, I wrote a blog about how an old friend of mine (who I affectionately call Miss Whiplash) who is a died in the wool Tory, commented about the lack of activity from Mr Offord. Could it be that myself and the lady of the lash have got it all wrong? Maybe Matthew Offord has been out furiously canvassing, night and day knocking on doors in Berkhampstead ( a place which sounds like he'd feel at home) because he thinks it's in Hendon?

Anyway Matthew, just for you, as I'm sure it will be very useful, I've included a map of Farm Road from Google Maps. I'd suggest that next time you write a press release, you check the location in Google Earth. There has been much debate in the last few days about Tories being upper class twits. I'd suggest that Matthew Offord look less like a member of the Berkeley Hunt and more like a credible LOCAL candidate, if he actually knew where he was when walking around his constituency.

If I was Andrew Dismore (our Local MP) who has been having a torrid time of late, I'd certainly be handing this press release out down at the Broadwalk shopping Centre. Andrew must be laughing his head off.

Matthew Offord - Captain Useless update

Further to my previous blog regarding Captain Useless (AKA Matthew Offord, Conservative Candidate for Hendon). Following a tip off from
"Mike" - Just a quick note to you all. try a quick google search of

"Matthew Offord" Thameslink dispute

You'll see that there's a grand total of zero results for him actually doing anything for us hard pressed commuters - Try it yourself


http://www.google.co.uk/search?gbv=2&hl=en&tbo=0&q=%22matthew+offord%22+Thameslink+dispute&btnG=Search&meta=&aq=f&oq=

How useless can one man be ????????????????????????????

Captain Useless Update : Miss Whiplash makes my day !

All the best people in Mill Hill shop in Marks and Spencers. Mind you, so do all of the worst people. Having lived here all of my life, I know all sorts of people who earn their money in a whole manner of ways. I bumped into one of the more colourful characters I know in M&S last Thursday. I call her Miss Whiplash and much of our banter involves discussions about luncheon vouchers (all rather light hearted, I must add). Now we've known each other for years and she is one of my best sources of info at Barnet Council, for reasons I couldn't possibly disclose here.

Anyway we had a brief conversation as I procured a couple of rather tasty plums at the fruit and veg counter. "You've rather upset a few people recently darling" she said. "Oh, what have I done now" I asked. "You know, you really are a very naughty boy (laughs)" she said. Then she said something which rather surprised me "You've been very quiet on the Matthew (Offord) front of late. Have you been told to tone it down?" she enquired. "Erm no, He's just not really been doing anything of late" I responded. She then said "Yes, he's getting rather a reputation for not doing anything". I suggested that she advised him to pull his finger out, as his opponenent, Andrew Dismore is nothing if not a workaholic at campaigning, if he really wants to win the Hendon seat. Anyway, she then shared a few further indescretions (all completely unrepeatable here) and toddled off on her way, in her six inch stiletto's.

I hadn't really truly understood the true power of Miss Whiplash in the Tory party. It seems that one quiet word from her and they all jump. I checked the Barnet Council website and it seems that Matthew Offord has been told off and he's leapt into action. Whilst his Labour adversary, Andrew Dismore has been speaking in the Commons about the burning issue for Mill Hill Commuters - The Thameslink Dispute, and his Lib Dem opponent has gone one step further and arranged a meeting with the First Capital Connect Directors,  Matthew Offord has identified an issue even more important to the hard pressed commuters of Mill Hill. Yes, he's worried that the financial rigors of the credit crunch will force us hard pressed parents to abandon our children to unsafe and dangerous toys. Poor Matthew must have nightmares of us all saying "Sorry Johnny, we couldn't afford a safe and age appropriate toy for you, so here's a box of matches and some paper, go and burn down auntie Madges shed".

Anyway here's his advice from his latest press release -

Councillor Matthew Offord, Cabinet Member for Community Engagement and Community Safety, said: “Toys are usually at the top of most children’s Christmas lists, so it is particularly important this time of year to think carefully when buying gifts whether the toy is age appropriate and safe. Remove all packaging once the toys have been unwrapped and keep a careful eye to make sure little ones are playing with the right toys. By keeping toy safety at the top of your list you should be providing your children a safe and fun Christmas to remember.”

I'm sure Miss Whiplash will be most impressed to see that "old Nanny Offord" is giving us sensible advice and making sure that we look after our little darlings. There's nothing us parents like more than a nice patronising press release from our favourite Councillor, telling us things which are blindingly obvious.
(Picture at top : The Future Shape of Barnets Road Safety)

Farce Crapital Conmerchants - No end to the Thameslink misery, so it's time for action

Hard pressed commuters in Mill Hill are sick of Farce Crapital Conmerchants. We buy our season tickets and all we expect in return is the service that is in the timetable. They are very good at apologies and excuses, but this just isn't good enough. They say "please claim compensation" - again this isn't good enough. First Group makes huge profits, the Managing Director, Muir Lockhead gets the best part of a million quid in "compensation" for running this failed company. The system for claiming compensation is deliberately difficult to use. Why? because this discourages people from claiming. The previous company running the service had a better scheme. You got a discount on your next season ticket if they failed to meet the required service level. What happened? First Group changed this to maximise profits, to make it as hard to use as possible.

I wrote to our MP, Andrew Dismore to see if he could do anything, as the government runs the franchises. You may have noticed press reports that National Express were stripped of their East Anglia franchise for "upsetting the Government". It seems that upsetting the Government is more serious than upsetting the people who pay for the service. Mr Dismore sent me a nice letter back. Unfortunately, he's not really done anything at all other than this. It contains THIS LINK TO HIS WEBSITE with a reply from FCC.  In it, FCC say they've done all they can. This is rubbish. They could have settled the dispute, then employed more drivers so that the Union can't pull this stunt again.

The reason they don't is because they are making more money than ever. By cramming us into trains like cattle and not paying overtime, they make even more money. The Answer is simple. For every day since the dispute started, they refund season ticket holders the percentage of services not running. So if they fail to run 50% of services, season ticket holders get a refund of equivalent to 50% one days travel. Of course they will squeal that this is impossible. I'm sure that if the Government told them "do it or lose the franchise" they'd soon change their mind.

I bumped into the Lib Dem Parliamentary candidate for Hendon, Matthew Harris earlier. I told him what I thought about the whole business and he agreed. He is urgently working on a plan of action TO REALLY HOLD FCC TO ACCOUNT, which he'll be emailing to me in the next couple of days. He has a track record of extracting U-Turns from the Government with well planned and popular campaigns, such as this one to reverse the cuts to TA Army training. When I hear the details of Matthews plan of action, I will post it here and I urge all commuters, regardless of their party allegiance to take part, it's about service, not politics. In these times when politicians seem happy to hide in their central London flats and cop huge allowances, we really should support the few who are prepared to actually do something. I sincerely hope that the candidates from the other parties also join in Matthews campaign, to form a united Mill Hill front against FCC. He's doing the hard work getting the campaign together, it would be nice to see a message of support for the campaign to post here from our MP, Andrew Dismore and the Tory challenger Matthew Offord. The campaign is called

NO WAY TO RUN A RAILWAY

Anyone wishing to take part can email me BY CLICKING HERE. We plan to start by doing a survey of commuters in approx 2 weeks time (got to write it and get it printed), so we can get the views of commuters. Anyone who could help giving these out, please get in touch. We want to give a copy to ALL MILL HILL commuters travelling in the rush hour.

Andrew Dismore, Labour MP - Only big people matter

Until today, Andrew Dismore MP had my vote. Despite his expenses, which I find truly distateful, I know people he has helped locally and I passionately believe he is a better man for the job than his Tory rival, Matthew Offord. Unfortunately as more revelations about Mr Dismores expenses come out, I've found it harder to justify voting for him. Sadly, the last straw came today with an interview in the Edgware Times regarding his expenses and the complaints (check the 2nd last paragpraph). Andrew Dismore said :-

"If it was a big issue we would have had a lot of complaints from big people"

 Sorry Andrew. This was the point where you lost my vote. You see I've voted Labour at every election because I believe that Labour was the party for the "little people". I believe that a Labour party should listen to "little people". I never thought I would say this, but I CANNOT VOTE for the Labour candidate in Hendon Constituency. As I believe that the Tory Candidate is even worse, I will be switching my vote to Matthew Harris, Liberal Democrat candidate and I will be actively suggesting that all Tory and Labour voters do the same. We need a change in the House of Commons. We need a new broom and we need all of the tainted MP's who think they've done nothing wrong to go.

To me that means changing the habits of a lifetime to vote for a Lib Dem. If we don't get rid of disease at the heart of British politics, then we'll end up with a third world economy, racked with corruption. Anyone who follows this blog will know all about the shenanigans at Tory Barnet Council, where Matthew Offord was deputy leader until recently.

The Brent Cross planning decision showed the Tories are only interested in "Big" property developers. Andrew Dismore tells us that only "Big" people's complaints matter. I'm Sorry Andrew Dismore and I'm sorry Matthew Offord, but I hope and pray that the electors of Hendon give you both a

BIG THUMBS DOWN