Friday 1 April 2011

Councillor Andrew Harper Special Edition - The April Fool story that didn't make the cut

I've been planning my April fool Story ever since The Deputy Leader of Barnet Council, Andrew Harper announced that he "Was going for Model X". The idea really got legs when we found out about the Barnet Council Private Security Force Met Pro Rapid Response. It was all ready to go, when I found out two things. Firstly, all along I've assumed that Andrew Harper was being lined up to take over from Lynne Hillan when she's finally knifed in May. This week, supporters of Councillor Dan Thomas, within the Conservative Group told me that Harper is dead in the water and Thomas is a shoe in. It was suggested that Councillor Thomas is a bit more receptive to some of the suggestions that this blog has been making than his predecessors.If there is any truth in what I've been told, I would most certainly suggest that Thomas would make a big improvement. It seems that it is well known that Harper is toast, so the "Leader in Waiting" jibes fall a bit flat.

The thing was, it hardly seemed worth lampooning Harper, as he's enough on his plate to deal with coping with the abject failure of his political ambitions and deep down I'm not really a nasty person. Secondly, the other strand of the wind up, Met Pro Rapid repsonse were sacked as Council contractors. As the story involved the sensational news that they'd been sacked, it was not really relevant anymore. Anyway, I showed the ill fated blog to a few mates and they said "That's actually quite funny, so you should share it with your readers".

Anyway, here it is. The April Fool blog that never was.
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Barnet Council Leader in waiting sacks Met Pro Rapid Response and announces new team.

Today Barnet Council Leader in waiting, Councillor Andrew Harper sensationally announced that Met Pro Rapid Response Security Services have been sacked as security providers of choice by Barnet Council. Harper stated "I've been doing lots of research into alternative service providers and I found just the company on Page 69 of the Barnet Press. I spoke to Model X and she can offer many of the services provided by Met Pro at a fraction of the cost. She can provide services all over the Borough, she can wear black clothes on request and she can come equipped with handcuffs or a whole range of other correctional equipment. She can even film all the action for an extra fee"

Harper continued "She assurred me that some of my male colleagues can provide excellent references"

Editors Note : Please note that the picture is not actually model X, like many of the adverts in such sections, the reality is never quite as appealing.

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