Tuesday 26 July 2011

My top 10 tips for surviving in Barnet

1. Sell your car - It'll cost you far more than you think (especially if you live in a CPZ zone)
2. Don't have kids - The Council are closing all activities for them as fast as they can
3. Don't get old - My mum relied on the meals on wheels service, trust me you wouldn't want to eat that
4. Don't get run over in Burnt Oak - Nearest hospital with A& E since Edgware General shut?
5. Don't get married to someone who get's run over if you live in Burnt Oak - visiting above hospital? Nightmare
6. Don't get a job if you want to vote in elections - The polling stations are so busy that you may get turned away, when you go to vote after work (or is that just in Non Tory wards?)
7. Don't read this blog - Seriously, it's depressing shit
8. Don't read Robert Rams blog on the train to work - You will fall asleep and miss your station
9. Don't live next to an old lady - When she passes away a property developer will destroy your calm existence
10. Don't try and and organise a community festival - Councillors will insult you and call you an amatuer

3 comments:

ainelivia said...

i laughed, wryly when i read this; now for the next stage... do you have any suggestions where to move to....

ainelivia said...

just a thought, you mention Prop Devs disturbing your calm, would that be the same one who lights a bonfire every day at the bottom of the garden... i have to be super quick to get my washing out and off the line before they light their daily bonfire, looks like they are practising for Viking Funerals at Up Helly Ah....

rithompson said...

Nearest A&E to Burnt Oak? Wouldn't be the soulless Barnet General, would it?

You can vote in elections, and work. Do what I do - vote at 7.30am (and vote Green to really mess with the heads of the exit pollsters)