Monday, 10 October 2016

No Mr Farage, real Alpha males are not sex abusers

I was disgusted by UKIP leader Nigel Farage excusing Donald Trumps comments which are to all intents and purposes, a frank admission of a sexual abusive personality. Mr Farage seems to feel that 'this is what alpha males do'. I can only wonder what sort of company Farage keeps.

I was mulling over this and I just couldn't help feel how demeaning it is, not just to women, but also to successful men. My mind was drawn back to a conversation with my father over 30 years ago. He was the epitomy of an alpha male. He was 6' tall good looking, hard as nails, hyper intelligent and a bit of a ladies man. He had been a wartime bomber pilot, as an officer in the RAF (a role he volunteered for unlike draft dodging Trump). He lead a successful mass escape of POW's (mostly American) from a POW camp in Bucharest in Romania. Unlike the Great Escape, 128 airmen got home safely.

He later was a commercial airline pilot, before becoming a successful businessman in Mill Hill, with a large business and property portfolio. Unlike Mr Trump, he never went bust, unlike Mr Trump, he never got a Bing from Daddy to help. I grew up in total awe of my Father, and still am. I drink at his old haunt, The Mill Hill Services Club, where in the 1960's he'd drink with his then best mate Patrick McGoohan, of The Prisoner and Ice Station Zebra fame.

I still get friends and ex employees of his tell me of their admiration for him, when I go. To me, he was and always will be the benchmark for judging a man by. 

Shortly before his death, we went for a beer together in the Services Club. In the 1980's only members could buy drinks, as I was a guest I couldn't. After a couple of rounds, I tried to persuade him to let me buy a round or at least pay for it. He was adamant that we follow club rules.

I jokingly said 'how can I ever chat the barmaid up, if you buy all the beers?'. He laughed and said 'you know there are three types of men, those who win women with charm, those who pay for women's affections and those who have to force themselves on women. Those who pay are desperate and just deserve sympathy, those who force themselves are despicable beyond belief. If you want to chat up the barmaid, you have to be charming beyond belief as its her job to hear that nonsense night after night' He then added 'people say women are difficult, they are not, all you have to do is persuade them you think they are the most special person in the world and you are not interested in anything else except their company and their happiness'. He finished by saying 'When I met your mum I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world and I wanted to spend my life with her. All I had to do was convince her that I was genuine. Relationships are easy, if you do everything you can to make her be happy, she'll be happy and if she's happy, she'll make you happy. Even when you have rows, always make sure she knows you think she's special and valuable beyond belief'. 

My Dad died shortly after, having been married for 43 years and raising six kids with my mum. Just before she died, 25 years later she told me that she'd missed him every day.

That is how alpha males treat women. That is why when I hear Trump say 'Just grab their pussy' I feel sick. That is why I think Farage is disgusting. I always have felt in my fathers shadow, but I value the lessons he taught me above all.

My father was a Conservative. I am just glad he didn't live long enough to see Trump desecrate Conservative values.

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