An American and a Frenchman have both recently become widowed. They both book a cruise and end up sharing a dining table. Both are still greiving, but being competetive, their conversation inevitably becomes competetive. We will call them Donald and Francoise for the purposes of the joke.
Francoise - I miss my wife, every morning we would walk down to the cafe, share a shot of espresso and a cigarette.
Donald - I miss my wife, she had great boobs, I spent $10,000 at the finest cosmetic surgeon making them perfect.
Francoise - Yes, I miss my wife, she was chic and she always looked a million dollars, even when she was was washing the dishes
Donald - Yes, I spent a million dollars on my wife and hired a maid so she didn't have to wash the dishes!
Francoise - Oh, I miss my wife so much she was a great cook, every meal was like a banquet, she could take the cheapest cuts of meat, vegetables from our garden and make the finest dinner. She could always get the best wine at the best price.
Donald - Yes, I miss the banquets I shared with my wife, I hired her a cook and a somelier and we ate only the finest cuts and the best vegetables from the supermarket.
Francoise - Oh I miss my wife so much, she tended our garden and it was ablaze with the most beautiful flowers and the tastiest vegetables.
Donald - I hired the finest gardener for my wife and we bought only the best plants from the finest nursery in the state of New York. Our Garden was the finest in the state.
Francoise - Oh I miss my wife, every year we would drive to the South of France for the summer holiday. We would stay in a lovely Gite that was very cheap and very good, it was beautiful. My wife would drive me everywhere, so I could enjoy the wine and she could watch her figure.
Donald - I hired a chauffer for my wife and we used to stay at the finest hotels. I paid for liposuction for my wife every year so she could keep her figure.
Francoise - But most of all I miss my wife because we made love every night, she would spare nothing to please and satisfy me. There is nothing in life, better than a beautiful woman who loves you and wants to make you happy.
Donald - Do you play golf?
Have a great weekend.