Now those of you who follow my blog will know that I always post something a bit different on a Saturday. This week it is as different as it could be. Please don't read on if you are of a nervous disposition !!!
My big brother once spent a whole evening sitting in a field in Somerset waiting for a UFO to appear. Apparently UFO's had been seen there every night for a few weeks. Around 9.30pm my brother decided that the Aliens weren't coming and adjourned to the pub with his friends. By the time they re-emerged it transpired that they'd missed some rather spectacular sights. They were told "It was awesome, first one, then two, then three lights appeared. They hovered their for 5 minutes and then disappeared". Laurie later confessed he wasn't too disappointed to have missed it, having enjoyed thawing out in a nice warm pub.
I'm a bit of a natural cynic. I always look for a logical explanation for anything and usually there is one. Don't get me wrong, I think it is quite likely that life could exist elsewhere in the universe, but hey, if you can master interstallar travel, would you really want to visit a planet which decides to make George Bush the most powerful man? Having said all of that an extremely bizarre incident happened to me a couple of years ago, which I have never been able to find a rational explanation for. I've not really discussed this with anyone and I am quite happy for anyone to add their tuppence worth. Unlike my brother it didn't happen in a field and I wasn't looking for aliens. See what you think?
I go to the gym every day apart from Thursdays and Sundays when I play 5 a side football. On a saturday though, I have a day off from it and I go for a sauna and a Jacuzzi. I use the Seb Coe club on the A41 on a Saturday as it is reasonable and the members are friendly. I always start with a 15 minute Sauna. About two years ago, I settled down for my session and set the egg timer. After about 10 minutes another guy came in (he seemed quite normal) and after a couple of minutes asked "Would you mind if I put some oil on the stove". This again is quite normal, usually people put Eucalyptus oil on. They put a few drops in some water and pour it on the coals. I replied "No problem". He did this. Immediately I noted the extremely strange smell of the oil. I genuinely couldn't place it. I asked "What is the oil, I don't recognise the smell". He laughed and said "It reminds me of home". I asked "Where's that then" The guy had a fairly standard, non dispcript English accent. He replied "A very long way away". fair enough I thought. He then said "do you mind if I put some more water on the stove". Again not a problem, I don't particularly like a very hot sauna, but as he'd asked politely I said "Yeah, fine". The guy got the ladle of water and very deliberately put his hand above it when he poured the water on. As a result a big cloud of steam enveloped his hand. Now I've done this accidentally and it really hurts, but he'd just done this deliberately, clearly to catch my attention. I thought "This guy isn't all there". He looked at me and said "It doesn't hurt, I come from a much warmer place". He sat down and clearly was fine. I said "so where is that?" He replied again "A very long way away, I'm here as an observer". Now not being sure what was going on, I thought I'd try humour, so I said "Oh, your an alien then". He replied "Something along those lines". Now as I said, I'm a rather suspicious person, but I'd just seen the guy put his hand in a cloud of steam, that would have fried a normal person, so I thought I'd play ball. "Do you like it here then" I asked. "No not really" he replied, he went on "You see if you took your greatest ever mathematician, where I come from, his understanding would be less of that than say a fairly average five year old". So I asked "So is there anyone from here that you admire?" He replied "We think quite highly of Mozart". So they like the arts. I asked "What about painters?". he replied "Picasso and Matisse are quite interesting". I then said "What about the food?". He replied "Well the organic dark chocolate and organic oranges are tolerable". At this I realised that with all of the water on the stove, my brain was boiling. Much as I would have loved to have carried on the conversation, I excused myself to take a dip in the pool.
As I was cooling down, my new found alien friend left the sauna and went to the changing room (not a bead of sweat on him). So there you have it. The only good things about planet Earth are Mozart, Picasso, Matisse, Oranges and chocolate (he clearly hadn't tried beer or listened to punk rock !!!)
All the questions I thought I'd ask an alien, I completely forgot (was Jesus an Alien? was Roswell true? Did Atlantis really exist?). So there you go? Do I really think he was an alien? who know's. What would he be observing in Watford? That really is a puzzle? Do Aliens really like Chocolate or are they just wind up merchants? Now that is the question I'll lose sleep about !!!!!
Post a Comment