Tuesday 8 June 2010

Is Barnet Council run by complete twats?

You will be pleased to know that Barnet Council, not content with losing our money in Iceland, keeping Lawyers R Us in work for years with many and varied cock ups and doing their bit to prop up hard up building contractors with huge overspends on Aerodrome Road, have found a new way to waste your money. They've started issuing press releases on how to have barbeques.

http://www.barnet.gov.uk/press_releases.htm?id=2225

Sadly Councillor Melvin Cohen, Cabinet Member for Governance and Civic Affairs, who issued the release doesn't advise us on a good red to go with a burnt burger, or even tell us where we can source the finest sardines in Barnet (they are great on the Barbeque) - my advice - try the fishmongers in Burnt Oak. Nope, Melvin gives us some advice on how not to kill ourselves. I didn't realise this was covered by Governance and Civic Affairs, but Melv, ever the, clearly wants to grow the role. Anyway, I'd hate to think any Barnet Eye's readers will die, due to not reading Melvins advice. I must be a bit strange as when I'm having a barbeque, I don't automatically check the Council website for hints. If any of you have managed to miss Melv's tips - here you go.


* Cook food thoroughly so it is piping hot throughout. With chicken and meat, when you cut into the deepest part there should be no pinkness and juices should run clear

* Some meat, such as steaks and joints of beef or lamb, can be served rare as long as the outside has been properly cooked or 'sealed'. It's important to seal meat to kill any bacteria that may be on the outside

* Keep raw meat separate from ready-to-eat food. Store raw meat and poultry in sealed containers at the bottom of the fridge to avoid dripping on other food. Never use the same chopping board for raw meat and ready to eat food without washing the board and knife in between

* Don't wash meat before cooking it. Washing does not get rid of harmful germs - only proper cooking will. You also run the risk of splashing germs onto worktops and utensils.

The Barnet Eye would like to add a few helpful hints which Melvin seemed to miss.

* Don't drink three bottles of vodka before you light the Barbeque as you may set yourself on fire


* Don't plung your face into the red hot coals on the Barbeque as it will hurt (unless you've drunk six bottles of vodka, then the pain will be deferred till you sober up)

* Always make sure you are outside of the house when you light the barbeque or you may burn your house down

* Do not rest the baby on top of the barbeque stove when it is hot or you will burn the baby

* Don't relight the barbeque by pouring petrol on as you may burn yourself to death

Now you may find all of these rather obvious ( a bit like Melvins tips really) but they are all stories which cropped up when I googled for a few Barbeque related injuries. Whilst it clearly is an extremely serious matter, it strikes me that if the Council has enough press officers to sit around writing this rubbish, it has enough press officers to make a few redundant.

I look forward to Melvins next safety email. Maybe he could have a chat with Matthew Offord MP and do a "safety in jacuzzis" press release or even Brian Coleman and do a "why we should obey the speed limit" press release. Or even better. Maybe he could actually try and run the council properly and cut out this crap.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yes, Barnet is run by twats. As is Camden. Sadly Rog, some tosser lacking the common sense they were born with will hurt themselves on the barbeque or undercook food and get poisoned...... then look for a scapegoat to sue! We live in a nanny state, and our collective lack of self responsibility keeps the twats at the councils in jobs.