Like many of this series of blogs, the seeds were sown at mass this morning. If you are not familiar with sich things, this is the first Sunday of Lent. Normally, I give up something for Lent, but as I was away I completely forgot to make a 'lentern resolution'. Often they involve giving up items of food or booze. To be honest, with all the lunacy in the world right now, I could not cope with the idea of 40 days without a drink. I normally don't drink 3 days a week, the days I do, I tend to enjoy it. As for food. Generally I give up something I like that is not particularly healthy, but I am eating too much of. Since I had cancer, I am pretty sensible. I toyed with the idea of giving up cheese, but I don't eat that much of it most of the time. So what could I do? I had a wonderful idea at Mass. I'd give up telling porkies! Now I like to think of myself as a pretty honest and straightforward person, I don't con or rob anyone. But I do on occasion tell the odd white lie. Yesterday, I went to see Luton Town play Burton Albion FC, with a mate I've not seen for a few months. A group of us went out in Bedford then Luton. I bailed out relatively early. I wanted to watch Man City Vs Newcastle and we'd been drinking since 11.30am.
On the train home, I realised I'd not been showing my beloved wife enough appreciation. So I stopped by at M&S and got her a bunch of flowers and some nice food and cooked her a nice dinner, before the match started. I got the inevitable question "How much did you have to drink?". My answer "Not that much, we didn't have one at the match". The second part was true, but the first part? Well we had two in Bedford, then got the train to Luton and had three. Aftre the match, we went back to the pub and had another one, then went to the pub over the road and had another two. That is eight pints, albiet over about seven hours. By most people's standards it is quite a lot. It occurred to me I'd mislead her as I didn't want a bent ear.
As I contemplated this at mass, I felt a tad guilty. I had mislead her as I didn't want my ear bent. HAd \i told her, it wouldn't have made any difference and I'd have had a bent ear, but it would have little effect on anything. Next time I go out with my mates, the number of pints I drink won't be reduced as the result of her ire. Today I won't be drinking. Sunday is often a day I abstain, usually as it is the day when I can ensure I do my three days non drinking. This week, as I was away, it will just be two. In Portugal with Boz, I drank far more than I should, but it was great to catch up and didn't interfere with our work. Boz likes to start around noon. I got up every day at 8am and took his dogs for a two mile walk up a mountain.
Anyway, as I sat in mass, I thought "Yes I should give up lying". The first reading was all about the Serpent tempting Eve to eat the apple in the garden of Eden and the gospel was about the Devil tempting Jesus in the desert. I have trouble with both stories. The apple story ends with Adam and Eve eating the apple and realising the horrible reality of existence. My personal view is that it is not a true story, rather a parable with a deeper meaning. In many ways the story is the same as Pandora's box or even the rhyme of Humpty Dumpty. The message is that if you seek the truth, what you find may well be the most terrible thing in the world. The current situation with Prince Andrew/Epstein is rather like that. I think we all preferred it when he was gamourous war hero, who dated porn stars and was one of the good guys. The fact that he's seedy, money grabbing fool, who enjoys parties at the residence of people trafficking paedophile is pretty awful. But it is the truth. It always was the truth.
Which comes back to me. Is Mrs T happier knowing that I had 8 pints yesterday or not? Would she be happy if I told her thr truth when she asks if her bum looks big in a pair of jeans she likes. Incidentally, I've always found the "does my bum look big" question a ridiculous one. Surely the question should be do I look nice, as on occasion a female will look very fetching when her bum looks big in something. I am not brave enough to say what I think and to be quite honest my view has always been she looks beautiful in just about anything or nothing. I care vary little about the wrapping paper, as it were.
And then there is work. I run a music studio. Bands, often young ones often ask my opinion of their music. Often it is rubbish. Now if I say "Blimey, it's awful" who does that serve. Often the reason it is awful is because they are young, inexperienced and tpo busy enjoying being in a band to listen properly. Again they've asked the wrong question. The question should be, what do you think we could do to improve the track. Oddly the answer is usually the same. Make sure you are in time and in tune. Make sure that the good things in the music are let breath. Make sure you can hear the vocals and work out what the key hooks are. Often when such things are broken down, there are many great elements that are being swamped through inexperience.
And then there is just the fact that upsetting people, when you don't need to is not what good people do. A mate of mine was telling me that his mum had alzheimers and she wasvery confused. She was saying long dead people had visited her, She often told stories of being whisked away in helicopters. None of it was true. He'd been advised to come to terms with her reality and just go along with it. Telling her that Uncle Jack was dead would just upset her. I sanyone's best interests really best served.
Which takes me back to Adam and Eve and the apple. It seems to me that they were happy living in a world of illusion, where everyting was peaches and cream. The truth just made us all miserable. All I really concluded was that I'd make a very poor theologian.
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