Have you ever made a deal with God in a time of extreme stress? I have. Back in the last century, my Brother in Law Tim had a catastrophic bike accident. He was knocked off a moped in Greece in the early hours of the morning, by what we assume was a drunk driver. Ata round 5.30am, there was an 'anonymous' call to report the accident. Tim had been lying there for several hours when the ambulance and paramedics turned up. His blood pressure was registering zero. He'd broken more bones than he hadn't. He had suffered brain damage. He wasn't expected to last the night. Although at the time I was pretty non religious, I went down on my knees, said a prayer and said "Oh Lord, if Tim recovers, I promise I will go to Church every Sunday that I reasonably can. To my, and everyone else's surprise, Tim made it through the night, through the week. He couldn't speak, his body was shattered. He was a very successful ER Doctor at the time of the accident. We were grateful he hadn't passed away, but his prognosis and the brain damage seemed so acute that we had little hope for any sort of meaningful recovery.
Tim had other ideas. He had to re-learn every word. He had to commit to punishing physio. He'd lost his medical license. But, slowly, surely he rebuilt himself. He retook his medical exams and re-qualified. He went back to work. He recovered well enough to fall off a ladder and nearly kill himself, but he recovered. He has had a couple of brushes with cancer, but he's survived. I kept my side of the bargain. Oddly, I have got quite a lot out of it. Most of my mates wrongly assumed I'd only started going to get my kids into St Vincents. Oddly, I found I got a lot out of going. That wasn't part of the deal, was it? I got to learn of people who I knew who were ill, or passed away. I bumped into friends I hadn't seen for a while and made a few new ones. At the time the priest was the rather good Fr Perry Gildea, who was quite inspirational and talked a lot of sense. Since his time, we've had some very good and some not so good ones. We've had one who tested my commitment to the limit, but at the back of my mind has been the thought that the first time I break the deal, what will happen to Tim, who as you can probably guess is a bit accident prone etc. He's also in his 80's.
My Dad cautioned me about making such deals. The last proper evening out we had, he told me that he was worried. When he was shot down in his Wellington Bomber in 1944, he made a deal with the Lord that if he survived he'd try and be a good person. The mistake? He asked for his biblical allowance of three score and ten years. The problem? He was in his 70th year. The deal was up. He was in good form and I told him not to be superstitious. I never saw him again, he had an unexpected anuerism. I think he knew. He'd taken out a new credit card, run up a huge bill in the USA visiting my sister and it all got written off when he passed away.
Given that it is 30 years since I made my deal and Tim is in his 80's now, there are all sorts of dilemma's that the unexpected turn of events have thrown up. Clearly, if I renage on the deal and Tim drops dead, I will feel terrible, so that isn't going to happen. But what if I drop dead first? Tim knows of the deal, is it unfair to stress him out knowing that the deal is off? What if he passes away at some point now? Clearly I've had good value for the deal, so do I need to keep going? What if Tim rings up and says "I've had enough, can you not go to mass for a few weeks", what should I do? What if I stop going and he changes his mind?
My Dad, who was a firm believer in such things, to the extent that he believed he could make sunshine and rain. He told me that the only secret was that you had to absolutely believe that God would listen to your prayers and that you never make any deal or ask for anything lightly. He also cautioned that with things like making the sun shine, you were not changing things permanently and when you make good weather, you will get soaked at some time shortly after the period when you want good weather. So if you are at a wedding and the forecast is bad, you can change it, but a few days later, you'll get caught in an unexpected cloudburst. There is always some sort of price to pay. Dad also cautioned me not to wish ill on anyone, as any ills that befall them are on you and you will also pay the price. So be very careful. Now you may think this is all superstitious claptrap. I probably would have, but as Tim really shouldn't be here, what am I to make of it all.
I am superstitious. If I am watching football and I need the toilet, I can only go when Manchester City's goalie has the ball. I've passed this on to my son. If I see a Magpie, I always say "Good morning Mr Magpie, have a nice day" as I think it will bring doom on me if I don't. The list is pretty long. Now the odd thing is that I am extraordinarily lucky most of the time. I believe that this is 100% down to the efforts I put in with him upstairs. I've been told it is utterly ridiculous by some family members and friends on many occasions, but I have far better luck in just about everything than any of them.
As I said, I am lucky, and I am blessed in life. Of course, it will run out one day. Maybe that day will be today, maybe not. But I guarantee one thing. I'm not breaking my side of any of these bargains anytime soon. I once had a discussion with a priest about all of this and asked his opinion. He said "If it works for you, I wouldn't be too concerned". And in life, that is perhaps the biggest truth about how we live our lives, if something is working for you, that is all that really matters.
My mantra "We all love a party" so lets try and make this life as much of a party as we can!
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