When I started The False Dots, I was very worried that if I said I liked the wrong sort of music, I'd become a victim of ridicule. This was not unfounded. As the youngest of six kids, my siblings relentlessly teased me at every opportunity. One of the reasons I didn't talk until I was four was that I knew exactly what would happen if I did. I would be mercilessly lampooned and humiliated.
Well I have decided it is high time I fought back! For my 64th Birthday, here is my special guilty pleasures playlist. I loved all of these songs, but as a teenager, I'd rather die than admit it. Here's the list and here's why.
1. How much is that doggie in the window. I loved this song when I was little. I have always loved dogs and this really hit the spot. When I became a teenager and self conscious, my sisters would tell my mates this was my favourite song, just to humiliate me.
2. Happy Talk by Captain Sensible. The Damned were one of my favourite bands. When the Captain did this on TOTP and my Dad said he loved it, I felt like the world had ended. But its great and it's a lot of fun. I should have bought it, but didn't.
3. The Last Waltz by Engelbert Humperdink. This may have been the first single I bought. I was always Engelbert rather than Tom Jones. It's a belting tune. I recall when I was about 18, coming home to find my Mum and Dad with this on the turntable having a smoochy dance. I guess I ruined the moment for them, but it is the image I most love of them. I'd never have admitted to liking it though.
4. Swinging on a star by Bing Crosby. I wanted the Pinky and Perky version of this, but it ain't on Spotify. I loved Pinky and Perky and it was my favourite song. My sisters used to really enthusiastically sing along to it, when it was played. I didn't even realise that Bing Crosby did it until I started going out with Clare. My father in law loved this.
5. Aquamarina - The theme from Stingray. I was tiny when Stingray first came out. This was the theme tune. As much as a a four year old can, found this song quite sexy and exciting. I always felt strange feelings listening to it. It is only now that I can admit that though. As a general note, all of the theme tunes to Gerry Anderson TV shows were amazing.
6. Donald where's your troosers by Andy Stewart. I have Tony Gleed to thank for reminding me of this and inspiring the list. I loved this song. When I was a kid this seemed rather naughty and risque. The idea that Scotsmen wore kilts with no underpants was something that was very strange. I was disappointed when I made it up to Scotland in 1979 and no one was wearing one. This is a great song, but not one a punk rocker would admit to liking.
7. Top Cat. The theme tune. This is a banging tune. Of all the various American cartoons, Top Cat is my favourite (a close toss up with Tom and Jerry). I love the urban decay and the daily battles the cats have and their incredible resilience. Top Cat may actually have been the first TV character to embody a punk rock ethos, although it took a long time for the penny to drop.
8. The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Books. This is my favourite Disney film ever. The songs are banging. I loved Balou the bear. I wish I had his carefree attitude to life. I am not sure if this is the best song or it is ...
9. I wanna be like you from The Jungle Book. Again, a cracking track. "I'm the King of the Swingers, The Jungle VIP". What a line. I cannot really understand why loving these two tracks was so embarrassing, I think they are pretty punk rock at heart.
10. Oh what a beautiful morning! One of my Dad's favourite songs. I used to love it as a kid, then I decided that it was horribly uncool. Now when I hear it, I think of Dad belting it out in the kitchen on a Sunny Sunday morning. What is not to love!
What are your guilty pleasures? One of the differences I noticed on the recent Stag weekend is that the current bunch of teenagers seem far less obsessed with being cool than we were. One of the early False Dots songs had a chorus which went "We live in a society, we kid ourselves is free, but when we look down deep inside, were prisoners of you and me". The biggest irony was that when I wrote that I was a prisoner of my own musical prejudices.
Here is the playlist. If it doesn't make you smile, then you are a right miserable sod, just like I was at sixteen!
I thought I'd add a little video for you. This is rather inspired by the songs above. I hope one day, someone says it's their guilty secret.
The False Dots next Gig
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