How much is that doggie in the window?

 Go on, you are intrigued. I bet you thought what is he on about? Has he got a new dog? Is he going to rant about puppy farms? Has he become a raging misogynist and is it a poor taste joke about red light districts?

Nope, none of the above. I am of course going to have a little chat about "How much is that doggie in the window", the 1952 global smash hit by Patti Page. 

It is a cracking song. A great melody, a memorable hook line and a terrific video, long, long before Rock and Rollers got the knack of making great cheesy videos. When I was a snarling punk rocker, such tracks as this would be dismissed with public disdain, but in truth, there was always a part of me that loved this sort of stuff. In 1982, Captain Sensible released Happy Talk from the film South Pacific. My Mum and Dad loved it. It was completely uncool to the hipsters. but the good Captain was having a scream and he became a massive pop star, something that had rather eluded the Damned up to that point.

Was this the last truly great novelty record to bother the charts? When I saw the Damned's chaotic reformation gig at The Moonlight Club in West Hampstead in 1979, I never dreamed that four years later, my Dad would be telling me that if I wanted success in music, I should be more like Captain Sensible.

But my Dad had spotted something I had missed by a mile. Captain Sensible and the Damned have had a 50 year career in music. They still tour to sell out audiences. Why? Because they are damned good fun! The odd thing about Happy Talk was that I actually think it enhanced Captain Sensible's rock and roll credentials. Why? Because Punk rock is, or should be, about doing what you want to do as an artist and not simply churning out the same old sort of stuff in ever decreasing circles. For Sensible it was almost as if doing the most uncool thing possible was actually cooler than just being the bassplayer/guitarist of The Damned. People realised that the Damned genuinely didn't care what people thought of them. They were there for the fun and you could join in or you could be miserable. Your choice. Even at their most gothic, the Damned were Hammer House of Horror Camp Gothic with dollops of fun. 

Anyway, as it is coming up to my 64th birthday, I was thinking about putting together a guilty pleasures playlist of songs. Songs that I'd have rather died than admit I like when I thought I was cool. It will be my birthday present to you as my Saturday birthday list. But I thought I'd give you a little taster!

This is important to me, my band The False Dots have unleased the power of having a party and having some fun.  Humour has always been a part of the package, I always thought most of our songs were funny in a very dark way. We have lightened up the humour over the years and I think we now use humour to make people smile and on the odd occasion make them think. Our last single, Big Hairy Spider was written in 1979, but only played last year! We were far too cool for such silliness when we were sixteen. We made a proper animated video for it and the response has been amazing. 

My conundrum as an artist is always how to top the last thing you did. I think Big Hairy Spider sets a high bar. Come down and see the band on Sunday at the Dublin Castle in Camden Town. CLICK HERE FOR FULL DETAILS

The Camden New Journal have rather liked the new album, so see why!

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