That blog title got your attention didn't it. Sadly this blog isn't going to detail salacious details of personal services supplied by your GP. It is however an answer to a question which made me think deeply about my own values and the rights of other people. Most years I volunteer to act as a helper with a charity which takes a group of adult, severely handicapped people on holiday for a week. Now don't get the idea that this is because I'm a goody-goody, holier than thow, do-gooder. I do it because it's an absolute hoot and it gives me a chance to catch up with and help some really good friends I've made over the years. It may shock you to know that some of us drink a few beers, we have partys, we've even gone to see free open air gigs featuring Status Quo. The ethos of the group is that we are together, there is no demarkation between helper and person being helped in the group dynamic (beyond where there is a physical requirement). Just for the absence of doubt, all of this is done in a safe manner and people behave extremely responsibly.
Some of the helpers, often on their first (and sometimes last trip) are shocked by the fact that adult disabled people (cerebal Palsy, Downs Syndrome, Spina bifida, etc) have exactly the same needs desires and dreams as the rest of us, and talk openly about these issues within the group. For many, the fact that much of this seems unachievable is a sad part of life, when someone has a perfectly normal brain, trapped in a body which makes normal life (as you or I know it) nigh on impossible. For us an action such as making a cup of tea is a simple 3 minute task. If you suffer from cerebal palsy and are stuck in a wheelchair, it's a totally different matter.
One conversation, as a group of us were chatting late one evening illuminated to me the stark choices. A rather devout Christian lady, of indeterminate age, who was a first time helper, asked one of the women in the group who happened to have cerebal palsy a simple question. "What could the NHS do which would simply and cheaply improve the quality of your life". The answer was shot straight back "Provide me with a male prostitute". The rather shocked lady said "Oh no, you can't possibly mean that". The response was spat back at her "It's alright for you to say that, your not a virgin and you won't die a virgin. How do you think I feel every day". There really was no answer to the question. Sadly, often the truth is not what we'd like to hear in our comfy little lives. Should the NHS provide free sex workers for the disabled, who would otherwise be deprived of a sex life, if it makes those peoples lives more tolerable? I honestly don't know the answer to that question, on balance I don't think it's the answer, but my mind isn't fully made up. I don't think that we, as a nation are grown up enough even to have the discussion.
So what am I saying here. I'm saying that in providing care for the adult disabled, we should make the decisions as to how cash is spent based on the choices of the people who need the care. We should be prepared to ask questions which we may not like the answers to, or even find shocking. Most importantly we should recognise that things able bodied people take for granted, which greatly enrich our lives should not be forever out of bounds to people, purely because of limited mobility. What has shocked me more than anything is the number of people who subscribe to eugenics and nazi doctrines when it comes to the adult rights of the disabled and handicapped. There is no other group where the right to a sex life or reproductive rights is seen as a subject of public domain discussion and repression. I am not talking about vulnerable, innocent people who can be taken advantage of, that is a different (and more difficult) argument, I'm talking about people with a physical handicap and a perfectly normal IQ and mental function.
Ask yourself this. When you read this post, did you at any time think "Yuck, thats gross". If you did then you need to ask yourself why.
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