Thursday 26 May 2016

Donald Trump and the end of the world

Step into my time machine. Lets set the date forward exactly four years to the minute. News at Ten has just begun.

Bong. President Trump has warned President Putin that he will not tolerate Russian interference in the Balkan states following the dissolution of the EU and NATO. The German President blamed the UK for the crisis saying that had the UK remained in the EU, then none of this would have happened and in light of events Germany was looking to recover lost territories in Poland, Czech Republic and Austria.

Bong. Prime Minister Corbyn has announced that Great Britain is leaving NATO in response to President Trumps warmongering.

Bong President Trump has announced that Great Britian is Americas oldest Enemy

Bong. Leader of the opposition and recently deposed Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that he is leaving Parliament and has re-applied for US citizenship as he considers Britian to be a basket case following Corbyns election.

Bong. The Pope announces that there really are aliens and he damn well hopes they turn up soon to save us from Donald Trump.

Bong. Arsenal announce the appointment of Jose Mourinho as manager following his recent sacking by Liverpool. Mourinho states in the press conference that he's always wanted to see how Arsenal got on with a specialist in success. After a successful first season at Liverpool, winning the premiership, he was sacked halfway through the season with Liverpool languishing at 16th. Mourinho claims that his problems with Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool were caused by him being too marvellous for the clubs. He announced that Arsenal were a different cup of tea.

And in other news, a large hole has appeared in the London Borough of Barnet in the shape of an A. Asked to comment, world famous blogger, Mrs Angry said "A large A hole in Barnet? Have you found Brian Coleman?" (A former mayor who disappeared into a mysterious black hole, which previously swallowed his Laptop and all his credibility).

As the old Chinese curse prevailed "May you live in interesting times?"

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