Exclusive - Barnet Council to impose 10mph limit on all local roads in Barnet

 The Barnet Eye has learned of plans by Barnet Council to change the speed limit of all local roads in the Borough (ie not A or B roads) as well as all roads outside local schools to a 10mph limit. Speaking exclusively to The Barnet Eye, a council source stated "When cars are travelling at 10mph, the incidents of fatalities and serious injury is almost completely eradicated. The council is embarking on an ambitious policy, to eradicate death through road traffic accidents in the Borough of Barnet. There is absolutely no need for cars to travel faster than 10mph on local roads."

The Barnet Eye has also contacted local political parties for comment. Thus far, only the transport spokesman for ReformUK in Barnet, Mr Richard Maximus has responded "We believe this is another example of Labour gone mad in Barnet. This is the Nanny state at its most extreme. We see no justification for making the lives of motorists in Barnet intolerable. We should be raising speed limits, not lowering them and if Reform is elected in Barnet, we will put the rights of motorists first".

My band, The False Dots released a video celebrating "Boy Racer" culture in the Borough of Barnet in 2024. You will be pleased to know I have not been kicked in the head by a horse, so I will not be endorsing ReformUK or their policies. 

(as I am sure you guessed, this is the Barnet Eye April Fool blog for 2026 - however, odd though it seems, if it comes to pass it won't be the first time!)

Why I'll be voting for Susan Hall in May (Updates Noon 1/4/2024)

 I've never voted Conservative in my life. I never thought I would, but in the Mayoral Elections in London, I have to. You may wonder why? Well the truth is that me and Suzy go back a very long way and you have to support your friends, don't you? Like me, her Dad ran a car repair business and our parents knew each other rather well. What is not so well known, and Suzy rather oddly seems to play down is that she was a big figure in the local punk rock scene of the late 1970's. She was very friendly with Delbert from Broadfields (which gives lie to the myth she's a racist), a sometimes roadie of The False Dots and the go to man for anyone who needed to score some puff back in the day. She was also a half decent singer and even sang on a track recorded by The False Dots, when our then singer couldn't hit the notes. We had to take her to a studio in Sydenham, in the back of a Transit van to sing the track. She did a pretty good job, what do you think?

. Back in the day, Suzy was a real laugh. I never got to see them, but apparently her prize possession was a pair of Captian Sensible of the Damneds Y-Fronts. which she'd liberated in, shall we say, rather amusing circumstances (I'll let her tell the story if she wants, as I don't want to upset her).

About six months ago, Suzy rang me and asked if I'd like to come on board and even offered me the role of Night Time Tsar in her new administration. I told her that as I am not aa Tory I couldn't  but I'd be supporting her privately. To me, it is a crying shame that her sense of fun and mischief has never come out at all in the campaign. I genuinely believe if the real Suzy was let shine, it would be more than a pair of undies she'd be liberating from Sadiq Khan!

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I am sure that you guessed, this is our April Fool Spoof. None of the above is true, apart from the fact that Susan Hall's Dad ran a garage. He may well have known my Dad through the industry, but he's not around to ask. As to who I'll be voting for in May? It won't be Hall and it won't be Khan. I feel both are awful for London. I'll be voting Lib Dem, and I sincerely hope everyone else does.

Barnet Eye Exclusive - Barnet Council to reopen Hendon Dog Track as virtual race track

*** updated 12.00 1st April 2023

Barnet Council have issued the following clarification regarding this matter

CLICK HERE TO READ THE BARNET COUNCIL STATEMENT

*** 

The Barnet Eye has been searching through recent council papers and we have found details of a massive council cock up, that has left Barnet Council facing millions of pounds of legal compensation fees. When planning permission was granted for Brent Cross Shopping Centre in the early 1970's, a clause was inserted requiring the site to be returned to it's original function as a dog racing track in 50 years, otherwise Barnet Council would be liable to pay a bequest equivalent to TEN TIMES the value of the site to the British Dog track association. The clause was inserted, to ensure that if a rise in popularity for dog racing required the reinstatement of a dog track in the Borough, the council would make an alternative site available.  The dog track was on the site of what is now Brent Cross.

Hendon Greyhound Stadium at night, 1968. The road is the A406 North Circular. A truly glorious photo by Chris Morphet on the Getty Images site. All of this was sacrificed in 1971 when the road was widened.

Note the Lambretta scooter.@ArtDecoSocUK @C20Society pic.twitter.com/fZiUSFLhOB

— NW London TimeMachine (@time_nw) August 7, 2021

Such clauses are quite common in planning applications. Barnet council had an option to offer the dog racing association an alternative site, or pay £10 million in  2011, forty years after the planning permission was granted. Sadly, Barnet Council neglected to review the clause or make an offer to the dog racing association. As the Dog racing association have an absolute right to the site and Barnet Council is liable, the council is faced with a huge dilemma. Council officers have been checking the small print and have found that the exact wording would allow for the Council to provide a virtual track, based on Imax cinema technology. The plans involve Barnet Council recieving live streamed dog races from around the UK, with punters experiencing the full dog racing experience, without having to have a full size dog track. It is understood that a substancial payment will also be made to the dog track association. 

Barnet Council are looking for a partner for the Imax cinema and the intention is to rebuild the orignal facade and turnstiles. When the cinema is not acting as a virtual dog track, it will show other films. There are also exciting plans for virtual dog track tours, where you can go behind the scenes and see the dogs getting fed, exercised and warmed up. Apparently the council are expecting a backlash from animal rights groups, who consider greyhound racing cruel. It is also understood that talks are at an early stage with a large chain of bookmakers, who are interested in screening classic horse races such as the Grand National and The Derby. There are interesting plans for VIP boxes at the site, offering the full experience, without having to drive to Liverpool. There are also plans for a Super Casino as part of the complex

In council papers the Leader of The Council, Barry Rawlings said "This is not what we wanted to spend money on when we took over last May, but the incompetence of the previous regime has left us with no choice. As such, we have to make the best of the mess. Although talks are at an early stage, there is a very real prospect that Brent Cross could become the UK's answer to Las Vegas and generate a huge amount of revenue for Barnet Council. With the decline of the need for space for shops, to make Brent Cross regeneration work, we need new uses for the space which would have previously been used for retailing". Tory group Leader Daniel Thomas commented "This is typical of Labour Councils, wasting money on bonkers schemes. It will end up with Barnet Council following Croyden into bankruptcy".

The Barnet Eye is keeping a close eye on this and thank the Local Conservative Councillor who rather naughtily put all of the blue papers through our letterbox ( an offence under the local government act). We believe there is a huge and demonstrable public interest in this matter. We do not believe that Barnet Labour should be encouraging gambling. The note stated that this shows the true hypocrisy of the local Labour party, who vehemently opposed a previous bid to get a super casino at Brent Cross. 

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Have a lovely weekend. Please note this post was originally posted at 00:00 hours on 1st April UTC +13 Time