Exclusive - Barnet Council to impose 10mph limit on all local roads in Barnet

 The Barnet Eye has learned of plans by Barnet Council to change the speed limit of all local roads in the Borough (ie not A or B roads) as well as all roads outside local schools to a 10mph limit. Speaking exclusively to The Barnet Eye, a council source stated "When cars are travelling at 10mph, the incidents of fatalities and serious injury is almost completely eradicated. The council is embarking on an ambitious policy, to eradicate death through road traffic accidents in the Borough of Barnet. There is absolutely no need for cars to travel faster than 10mph on local roads."

The Barnet Eye has also contacted local political parties for comment. Thus far, only the transport spokesman for ReformUK in Barnet, Mr Richard Maximus has responded "We believe this is another example of Labour gone mad in Barnet. This is the Nanny state at its most extreme. We see no justification for making the lives of motorists in Barnet intolerable. We should be raising speed limits, not lowering them and if Reform is elected in Barnet, we will put the rights of motorists first".

My band, The False Dots released a video celebrating "Boy Racer" culture in the Borough of Barnet in 2024. You will be pleased to know I have not been kicked in the head by a horse, so I will not be endorsing ReformUK or their policies. 

(as I am sure you guessed, this is the Barnet Eye April Fool blog for 2026 - however, odd though it seems, if it comes to pass it won't be the first time!)

Announcement: Station Road, Edgware to be renamed

 The Barnet Eye has learned through sources at Barnet Council, that following the passing of the Edgware development plan, Barnet Council has decided to rename Station Road Edgware to Edgware Towers Way. The council believes this reflects the changing face of Edgware and is a more modern and marketable name, as there is more to Edgware than a tube station. More to follow.

*** Noon update ***

For the absence of doubt, this is an April Fool Joke (for the moment)

Why I'll be voting for Susan Hall in May (Updates Noon 1/4/2024)

 I've never voted Conservative in my life. I never thought I would, but in the Mayoral Elections in London, I have to. You may wonder why? Well the truth is that me and Suzy go back a very long way and you have to support your friends, don't you? Like me, her Dad ran a car repair business and our parents knew each other rather well. What is not so well known, and Suzy rather oddly seems to play down is that she was a big figure in the local punk rock scene of the late 1970's. She was very friendly with Delbert from Broadfields (which gives lie to the myth she's a racist), a sometimes roadie of The False Dots and the go to man for anyone who needed to score some puff back in the day. She was also a half decent singer and even sang on a track recorded by The False Dots, when our then singer couldn't hit the notes. We had to take her to a studio in Sydenham, in the back of a Transit van to sing the track. She did a pretty good job, what do you think?

. Back in the day, Suzy was a real laugh. I never got to see them, but apparently her prize possession was a pair of Captian Sensible of the Damneds Y-Fronts. which she'd liberated in, shall we say, rather amusing circumstances (I'll let her tell the story if she wants, as I don't want to upset her).

About six months ago, Suzy rang me and asked if I'd like to come on board and even offered me the role of Night Time Tsar in her new administration. I told her that as I am not aa Tory I couldn't  but I'd be supporting her privately. To me, it is a crying shame that her sense of fun and mischief has never come out at all in the campaign. I genuinely believe if the real Suzy was let shine, it would be more than a pair of undies she'd be liberating from Sadiq Khan!

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I am sure that you guessed, this is our April Fool Spoof. None of the above is true, apart from the fact that Susan Hall's Dad ran a garage. He may well have known my Dad through the industry, but he's not around to ask. As to who I'll be voting for in May? It won't be Hall and it won't be Khan. I feel both are awful for London. I'll be voting Lib Dem, and I sincerely hope everyone else does.

Barnet Eye Exclusive - TFL to reopen the Mill Hill Broadway to Edgware railway extension

Ok, I'll come clean. This was the Barnet Eye April fool joke, but I think this is not a bad idea at all!

The Barnet Eye was amazed to see workmen inspecting the old track bed this morning on the Railway trackbed that used to run between Mill Hill and Edgware as part of the railway that ran from Finsbury Park to Mill Hill East and was closed in 1965. It has always struck me as a complete waste of a valuable transport resource. Had the line remained open between Mill Hill East and Edgware, then it would provide an excellent cross Borough link and Saracens Rugby club would have it's own station.

Being a nosey git, I asked what they were doing. The answer I found most surprising. The Mayor of London has been backing a plan, known as the West London Orbital railway to link West Hampstead and Hendon with West London via the freight only Dudding Hill Line. It is a bit of a now brainer, being one of the highest scoring schemes for delivering value for money.

Pic Courtesy of Wikipedia

It seems that the Mayor is carrying out of a feasibility study to extend the line to Edgware via the old branch line. As the trackbed is in place, this would require minimal works. There is a dedicated platform at Edgware and the scheme would make the logistics of turning the trains around far more feasable. There is also the opportunity for a large freight distribution depot at the site, which would make use of the Orion freight distribution service. The plan would also accomodate a dedicated cycle superhighway to the side, improving cycling options between Mill Hill and Edgware. Apparently this will extend to Spur Road. 

I asked the surveyor what he thought was the probability of the scheme coming to fruition. He said "If WLO is approved, I'd put it at 80%"

Sounds exciting. 

The Old Edgware Rail Station - Pic Courtesy of disused stations

Councillor Andrew Harper Special Edition - The April Fool story that didn't make the cut

I've been planning my April fool Story ever since The Deputy Leader of Barnet Council, Andrew Harper announced that he "Was going for Model X". The idea really got legs when we found out about the Barnet Council Private Security Force Met Pro Rapid Response. It was all ready to go, when I found out two things. Firstly, all along I've assumed that Andrew Harper was being lined up to take over from Lynne Hillan when she's finally knifed in May. This week, supporters of Councillor Dan Thomas, within the Conservative Group told me that Harper is dead in the water and Thomas is a shoe in. It was suggested that Councillor Thomas is a bit more receptive to some of the suggestions that this blog has been making than his predecessors.If there is any truth in what I've been told, I would most certainly suggest that Thomas would make a big improvement. It seems that it is well known that Harper is toast, so the "Leader in Waiting" jibes fall a bit flat.

The thing was, it hardly seemed worth lampooning Harper, as he's enough on his plate to deal with coping with the abject failure of his political ambitions and deep down I'm not really a nasty person. Secondly, the other strand of the wind up, Met Pro Rapid repsonse were sacked as Council contractors. As the story involved the sensational news that they'd been sacked, it was not really relevant anymore. Anyway, I showed the ill fated blog to a few mates and they said "That's actually quite funny, so you should share it with your readers".

Anyway, here it is. The April Fool blog that never was.
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Barnet Council Leader in waiting sacks Met Pro Rapid Response and announces new team.

Today Barnet Council Leader in waiting, Councillor Andrew Harper sensationally announced that Met Pro Rapid Response Security Services have been sacked as security providers of choice by Barnet Council. Harper stated "I've been doing lots of research into alternative service providers and I found just the company on Page 69 of the Barnet Press. I spoke to Model X and she can offer many of the services provided by Met Pro at a fraction of the cost. She can provide services all over the Borough, she can wear black clothes on request and she can come equipped with handcuffs or a whole range of other correctional equipment. She can even film all the action for an extra fee"

Harper continued "She assurred me that some of my male colleagues can provide excellent references"

Editors Note : Please note that the picture is not actually model X, like many of the adverts in such sections, the reality is never quite as appealing.

April Fool - Ho Ho Ho

You didn't fall for that old one did you *:^)