So if you were a billionaire for a day, what would you do? This is my perfect day of indulgence

Have you ever had that conversation, where you get asked if you were a billionaire for one day, what you would do?

Lets put a few rules around it. You can't give money to charity, as we don't want a load of virtue signalling nonsense. Anything you buy you have to give back at midnight, so you can't buy a Rolls Royce to sell in six months time. You have a day of cashful indulgence. You can pick the day. It doesn't have to be today and you can order anything you like and pay for it on the day. So if you wanted you could hire Wembley Stadium, put on the Rolling Stones and ask all your mates, if that floats your boat. You can stay at any hotel, go to any restaurant, watch any show or sporting event, travel anywhere (we'll allow you to fly back tomorrow and stay in a hotel overnight). Anything money can buy. But just for one day.You can take anyone with you (same rules for them). 

I thought long and hard about this. I realised that I have very frugal tastes in reality, but there are a few things I would enjoy splashing out on. So here goes

So it starts at midnight. Lets start by checking into a fine hotel. But which one?  I'd choose the Shangri La at The Shard. I quite like the idea of a swim in their 52nd floor infinity pool. It's about £1,700 for a suite. I'd have a few friends up for drinks and get them suites as well. I'd have breakfast in bed and then a dip in the pool. I saw the Shard go up from my office in Red Lion Court on Park St, so it is the one hotel I feel an affinity with in London.

I would then follow this with a champagne cruise up the Thames on The Elizebethan, again with my friends and family. I do love London and I love the river Thames, this would be a wonderful second leg. I would finish in time to watch the FA Cup final and have Lunch before at The Bobby Moore suite at Wembley. In truth I'd rather be with the City fans on the terraces, but hey ho, being their with all my mates (most of whom hate City) would be fun. This year, the final will be at 3pm on Saturday 3rd June, which is the proper time for a football match. Now there is an element of jeopardy here, as there is no guarantee City would win and if they lost, it would be typical and a real downer, but hey ho, life is nothing without risks. 

Lee Thompson with Rog at the Dublin Castle

When that is done, we will adjourn for some live music. Now I looked through the list of gigs and there's none I really fancy. So I'd have my own free festival at The Roundhouse. I'd give all my mates first dibs, then give the rest to key workers and have a free bar. But what bands to feature? Well given that I'm infinitely rich, but not Jesus, I can't bring the dead back. So I'd choose the three bands that I really enjoy. I'd put on The Dickies first, who I think are the best live punk band on the circuit. I'd make a live video of the whole thing, so I could enjoy it forever, (all royalties to The Passage homeless centre). Next up would be The Lee Thompson Ska Orchestra, who I love. I'd get a couple of guest vocalists to jointhem, including Dawn Penn and The Pioneers. The Ska Orchestra are currently not playing, but I'm sure Lee would resurrect them for a large wad. Then To finish, I'd make sure the party was properly rounded off with a good dance. I'd get Nile Rodgers in. I'd give Nile the green light to get any guest singers he sees fit.

When the fun was done, we'd all nip back to The Shard for a night cap.

It sounds like a pretty good day to me. If there are any nice billionaires out there want to bankroll it, please let me know. You'd be more than welcome to join myself and all my lovely mates!

What is your perfect day?

The Saturday List #392 - My top ten minor indulgences

This week, my missus booked up an overnight break for us at Champneys health spa in Tring. As I don't drink for the first two weeks in January, this seemed a well timed break. It is her idea of being pampered. We splashed out and had massages and I spent most of the time readin the autobiography of Patrick MaGoohan. 

This is wonderful. Buy a copy @aurora_metro books - A true legend pic.twitter.com/f3BfeEVLzo

— Roger Tichborne/Rog T (@Barneteye) January 14, 2023

It was a real indulgence for me to have time just to read. I only ever read books on holidays and breaks, I simply don't get the chance to concentrate for long enough usually. It got me thinking, what are my top ten indulgences. When I want to treat or pamper myself, what do I do?

1. Listen to my Wire playlist in the bath. Every Thursday, apart from the first of the month when our football squad has a beer, I have a bath after 5 a side football, where I listen to my custom made Wire playlist. It is wonderful. Occasionally I listen to another list, but Wire seem just right for a bath and it is just the right length. 

2. Lying in bed every morning with a cup of tea, reading The Guardian and The Daily Express. I don't know how my wife puts up with me. Every morning, she brings me a cuppa and the papers. You may be surprised at my choice of papers, but these give me a degree of balance. Much as I dislike the political tone of the Express, it helps give me perspective. As the Mail is owned by people who backed Hitler, which my Dad would not line the cat's litter tray with and I despise the way the Sun lied about Hillsborough, if I want some right wing tabloid perspective, it's the only choice. TBH The Guardian has become almost unreadable over the last few years and seems to have got rid of all it's best writers apart from John Crace. It sets me up very well. 

3. Lying on a lounger on a summers afternoon, having a craft beer. As it is raining buckets, I can only dream of this. During lockdown, I did a lot of this. Our garden catches the afternoon sun and despite the  noise of the M1, it is glorious in the sun.

4.  Reading 2000AD comic. Back when it started and I was a teenager, I started buying the comic 2000AD, featuring Judge Dredd. I still read it. It is hilarious and at time thought provoking. So many of it's stories of the future of society have come true. Drone Surveillance, Hipsters, Banksy/Streetart, and even Donald Trump (AKA President Robert Booth)

5. Pasties De Nata (AKA Portuguese Custard Tarts). I don't have a sweet tooth. I only really buy chocolate bars if I have a cold or the flu (It's how I know I am getting ill). When we eat out, the only puddings I ever go for is apple pie and custard. I can't stand gunge and I generally avoid dairy (apart from Custard). But a few years ago we visited Lisbon, and I discovered Pasties De Nata. They are wonderful. Both M&S and Joice Cafe in Mill Hill sell them, and they are good, but still warm in Lisbon, they are divine.

6. Xmas Morning. This is the one time, as I prepare the dinner, that I insist the whole family listens to my punk rock vinyl collection at full volume. This gives me the energy to peel the spuds and do the dinner. As soon as the first guests arrive, Clare takes charge of the music, but that makes me look for ward to getting up early and do the work.

7. The Friday Night Curry. I love a good curry at The Mill Hill Tandoori, with a couple of Kingfisher beers. I don't eat meat on a Friday (I'm not very good at being a Roman Catholic, so I try and observe  the meat free Friday tradition, to get a few brownie points with the big fella. It is also quite good as it makes me try other foods. The Tandoori Salmon is amazing, I'd probably never have tried it if it wasn't for my meat free friday rule. As it is, it is possib ly my favourite Indian dish.

8. The Sunday Roast. This is a big indulgence for me. I love cooking a good roast dinner. I love experimenting, trying to make things taste better. I always try and get the best ingredients, work out the best way of cooking them, pickimng up tips, refining and improving. I think I've got beef and chicken more or less perfect. My roast spuds are also pretty damn good, as is my roast cauliflower and roast mushrooms (we have vegetarians in the house. Still got to get the perfect recepie for roast parsnips, which are best slightly burned. My mission this year is to make the perfect gravy. I've got that for Xmas dinner, with the gizzards, but I for the beef, a bit more work is required.

9. The Saturday morning fry up. I love a good fry up. We are lucky in Mill Hill that Gerards butchers do wonderful bacon and sausages. When I started eating meat again, in 2000, I vowed to only eat good quality, organic meat that was produced to humane standards and was locally sourced. Luckily Gerard can tick these boxes.

10. A good Jazz lunch at Ronnie Scotts. Soho is best in the day. I start with a beer and a Pasties De Nata at Bar Italia, have the Sunday Roast, then we have a few beers after, being home by 7pm. Wonderful! Try it!