Time to recognise that children of cancer victims suffer from PTSD - Rog T's Cancer Blog

 I was always going to do another in episode in my Cancer blog today, charting my life with prostate cancer. I had a PSA test on Monday and the results were that it's 6.7. The threshold to be concerned and have a chat with my consultant is 7.0 It has gone up, which is not good, but it is not high. I'll be having my yearly consult in September with Mr Emberton. I'll have an MRI before then. Today though, I am not focussing on my own cancer diagnosis(other than to urge anyone who has concerning symptoms to get checked out ASAP, it really is better to get it treated early), I'm covering a topic I've been meaning to write about for a couple of years. I want to talk about how my mother developed cancer when I was seven years old and how it changed my life and how I believe I'm still suffering from PTSD as a result, and how I think that this is probably true for every child of cancer victims. 

You may wonder what made me choose today to have this discussion. Well I was looking at the Guardian obituaries and I saw an obituary for Dora Black. It prompted me to tweet this.

Blimey. Wasn’t expecting to see this in the @guardian I was treated by Dora Black at Edgware General hospital for anxiety and depression when I was a kid. #ItsOkayToNotBeOkay RIP to a fine lady pic.twitter.com/eThYHkLadP

— Roger Tichborne/RogT🔸 (@Barneteye) February 11, 2022

My memories of the consultations are quite difficult. I'd almost forgotten the whole thing, but seeing the obituary and her picture brought the episode back. I was twelve or thirteen, it was 1974-75 several years after my mothers treatment. It had just about reached the point where she was deemed 'fully recovered'. My behaviour was appalling at the time. I was doing atrociously at school, always in trouble. I was off every other week with all manner of ailments, mostly that I'd made up. I preferred lying in bed to going to school. I found Finchley Catholic High School to be a very stressful environment, although I didn't recognise this at the time. I can remember being questioned about what was 'upsetting me' and what my concerns were. The truth was that I didn't really know. I felt like I was an alien from another planet, who had somehow been put in Mill Hill and sent to Finchley Catholic High as punishment for some terrible crime that had been erased from my memories. I'd also been given the gift of dyslexia, just so I was sure to fail. I felt absolutely desperate at the time. Despite multiple sessions Dr Black never really got anywhere. I was taken to see another paediatrician at St John & St Elizabeths hospital, a private guy, top bloke in the country. He got nowhere either. In the end, my parents took me off the valium, as they felt it made me like a zombie (their words). They decided that we'd just muddle through. 

By the time I was 14, I'd discovered punk rock music and had a focus in life. My anxiety abated and I moved on. I put all of those memories and anxieties in a drawer, shut it and locked it. I've had other issues, but I never associated them with this period. I'd decided that it was best kept locked up. 

 It would have stayed there, had I not made the rash decision to write a book of my life. I initially envisaged a fun look back at a life in rock and roll. The problem was that when I started to write it, I started at the beginning. As a kid, I was happy and full of fun. All of the pictures show me with a beaming, cheeky smile. I starred in TV adverts, you can see me in one for Heinz beans, made in 1968, that I've used in one of my band videos. Although I was doing badly at school, I was very good at acting and being photographed. My mum was most proud of my achievements.

Here’s me with my first girlfriend aged six, was working for my living even back then! It’s us at the back of the pic on the right. Me on left in pic on left. From the @RadioTimes in 1969! pic.twitter.com/6G6P5t4GjU

— Roger Tichborne/RogT🔸 (@Barneteye) February 11, 2022

Then in 1970, she was diagnosed with 'terminal stomach cancer'. My parents were told that her chances of survival after five years were zero. Not a soul on the planet had survived that long. She was told that they could operate, it may give her a couple of years. My mother was a fighter and she grasped the opportunity with both hands. I was seven, none of this was shared with me. Mum went into hospital, I was palmed off to a relations house. At the time, I was at St Vincents primary school. At the back was the Vincentian orphanage, a place of abject terror for us all. The orphans were treated as second class citizens.  The first time I realised that something was amiss was when a cousin told me that my Mum had cancer and was going to die and I was going to be put in the orphanage. I knew mum was in hospital, but this was the first inkling I had to how serious it was. A couple of days later, my Dad turned up. He took me up to the hospital, the first time I'd seen Mum since she'd been admitted. She was in St John and St Elizabeth in St Johns Wood, under Mr Phillip King, a top cancer surgeon. As we drove up, I asked my Dad if it was true that Mum was going to die and I was being put in an orphanage. I knew the story was a lie and knew Dad would put me right. What happened next shocked me to my core. Dad swerved to the side of the road and burst into tears.

Dad was a tough Aussie ex WWII pilot. I'd never seen him show fear, let alone cry. He pulled up, sobbed uncontrollably for five minutes and then said "Who told you that?". I lied and said "Someone at school". He said "Whoever told you that is not your friend". He then said "The doctors said Mum will probably die, but if we all have faith and pray for her, I believe she'll pull through". He then said "Whatever happens, you are my son and you won't be going in any orphanage".  When we saw mum, I was shocked. She looked twenty years older than when she'd left. She was rigged up to machines, had drips in her arm and could hardly talk. She'd been in a couple of weeks. I knew Dad had waited till she looked better and could talk before bringing me. I could only speculate how bad she'd looked before. 

That was the day my life changed. Before she'd had cancer, I'd been the apple of her eye. Now she was 100% focussed on getting herself well again. Dad had a business to run and had to look after her. Only myself and my sister were still at home. We supported each other as best we could, but it was awful. As I wrote the chapter, I felt darker and more negative. I realised that I'd been completely ripped apart, but no one had even noticed. Of course my mum was the focus, she was desperately ill but I was cast adrift. I retreated into a bit of a fantasy world. At school, we were based in portacabins by a lawn. I'd deliberately be naughty, to get thrown out, so I could stand outside and watch the birds feeding. I'd bring in bread for them. As you can imagine, this did nothing for my grades. To everyone's amazement, mum recovered. She made it to 83 and passed in 2008. But the acting and modelling stopped. 

By the time Mum was fully fit, I was at FCHS and was morphing into a difficult teenager. I'd always just thought that everyone goes through difficult times and we all have episodes in our youth that we lock away. However, over the last few years I've realised that this is not something trivial. I was extremely lucky. I had a strong father and my mother recovered. They were relatively well off, so I was cushioned from the worst ravages of the time. This was brought home when I employed a young man, the son of one of my friends. His father died when he was six of pancreatic cancer. I don't want to discuss his circumstances, but our private conversations lead me to the conclusion that a parental brush with a serious cancer causes children to suffer the most terrible PTSD. His experiences and memories made me re-examine the period. Back in the early 1970's there was no concept of giving people support to get through difficult experiences. I don't recall ever being asked if seeing my mother in a hospital bed, expecting her to die had affected me or how I felt. If anything, it was quite the opposite. When I was slung out of classes, whilst my mum was in hospital, I'd be whacked by the Headmistress with a table tennis bat for being naughty. 

My view is that the NHS default position should be that children of parents with serious cancers (and other life threatening conditions) should be given conselling for trauma. My own experiences of counselling sessions was not great. I remember big desks and books. I remember difficult questions and an expectation that 'something was wrong' that I could explain. If I'd have told them what I really thought, I've always thought they would have locked me up for being insane. If I'd said "I feel like I'm an alien from another planet, who has had all their memories erased and I've been put here, in this body as some sort of punishment for a crime I can't remember, I know this is not true, but it is how I feel" I have no idea what reponse I'd have got. I suspect they'd have told me to stop watching Gerry Anderson's UFO, which may well be where I got the idea. Sometimes I'd lie in the garden, look up at the stars and pray that the aliens would come and take me home and that it would all be alright. 

I've never shared this with anyone before. I don't feel like that now, I haven't since I was around 13. But I felt it with every ounce of my existence then. I found this statement on THIS WEBSITE 

• Dissociation. People who develop dissociative symptoms begin to feel disconnected from reality. They may withdraw into fantasy worlds, and at the extreme edge they may develop dissociative identity disorder, which is the correct label for what used to be known as multiple personality disorder.

This sums up how I felt. I am fortunate that it didn't develop into MPD. A few years ago I was chatting with a mate about our youth. He lived up the road from me. He told me "We all used to joke that you were lost in space. You'd knock on our door, march in and turn the telly over to watch UFO or Lost in Space and and go mental if anyone turned the telly over". I was really shocked. I asked why no one pulled me up about it. He said "My Mum (she was a lovely and very kind Irish Lady) told us your mum was ill and people go funny when their mums are ill and to let me get on with it, so we all just let you get on with it".  What if you don't have mates with such enlightened  mum's? What if your parent has passed and the remaining one is in no position to support you? What if you don't develop a love of music (or something else) that gives you a new focus?  I've always been terrified of ridicule. It is quite funny because recently, I've been trolled on Twitter by an extremely warped character, who thinks alcohol and bad sexual performance are my personal weaknesses. They are not, I couldn't give a stuff abour such childish insults. My one true fear is to be exposed as an imposter, an alien and locked up in an institution for living in a fantasy world. I suspect that this may have started with the orphanage taunt. So there you go all you Trolls and Haters, you know my dark secret.

But I've taken the decision to own it. I once wrote a song called "I'm not frightened any more". The sad truth is that it's not entirely true, I am constantly terrified. I am terrified that I will lose people I love. I'm terrified that I'll see people in pain. Most of all, I'm terrified that if I do, I'll not be strong enough to cope and run away. but that's it.

We, as a society, cannot stop children seeing terrible things as a result of a cancer in the family. We cannot prevent the loved child suddenly finding they are the lowest priority in the house. We cannot stop them seeing parents in horrific pain, in bed, unable to talk, rigged up to machines with drips and looking terrible. But we can recognise that this will take a terrible toll. We can recognise that, without support that child will be severely damaged and will only get through if they are lucky to have a familial support group that is strong or if they have a supreme amount of inner strength. We need to recognise that such children are likely to underperform at school and they should be supported and not received tough disciplinary action without getting to the bottom of the root cause. 

There is a misguided view that children 'don't understand'. This is rubbish, when you are a child, you are like a sponge, soaking up information to build the resilience that will get you through life. Adults are the ones who find it hard to learn and adapt. The NHS needs to recognise this. In the long term, it will save them money as children will not grow up with this albatross around their neck, or at least have the tools to cope.  Sorry if this has been a long, rather disjointed and emotional blog. I had to get this out there. I hope you understand.

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About Rog T's cancer blog

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For those of you who are regular readers and have read the previous posts on Cancer, there's what this is all about. I write this blog because knowledge is power and if you know what you are dealing with, you have more weapons in the locker to fight it. It is a personal view, I'm not medically qualified. This is for the sole purpose of information for those who are interested.This is the latest installment in my occasional series about how I'm adjusting to living with a big C in my life.  For those of you who aren't, here's a quick summary. I'm 59 years old and in October 2011 I  had a prostate biopsy following two "slightly high" PSA tests - 2.8 & 4.1. The biopsy took ten tissue samples and one of these showed a "low grade cancer" which gave me a 3+3 on the Gleason scale. I was put on a program of active monitoring.  In early February, I got the results of the a PSA test - down to 3.5 and an MRI scan which found absolutely nothing, two more tests in 2012 were at 3.5 and 3.9, in 2013 my test was 4.0, Jan 2014 was 3.8, August 2014 was 4.0,  February 2015 it was  up to 5.5  and my latest in August 2015 was down again at 4.6. In October 2015 I had a transperinial Prostate biopsy, that revealed higher grade cancer and my Gleason score was raised to 3+4 (Small mass + more aggressive cancer). On 22nd Jan 2016 I had HIFU (Hi Intensity Focused Ultrasound) treatment at UCHL). My post procedure PSA in May was 4.0 which was down, followed by 3.7 in August, and 3.5 in October  which means that the direction is positive . However in January the follow up MRI revealed "something unusual which requires investigation" After a follow up biopsy, it appeared this was nothing to worry about. My two most recent PSA tests were Ok (3.7 and 4.6) and an MRI scan in March was very positive. A  PSA in October 2019 was 4.6, so stable and good news, the last in May 2020 was 5.45 a small rise, so worrying, however after a review against the most recent MRI, it was decided that this was fine. My latest one in February 2022 is 6.7. I've got a review in Spetember. 

  I've no symptoms apart from needing to wee quite regularly and sadly for a few people, if I'm gonna die soon, it won't be from Prostate cancer. Got the picture?

I'll finish with the video I mentioned. This is the pre cancer me at the height of my fame, in 20 million households every week. It's all been downhill since

#ItsNotOK - Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week 7th - 13th February 2022

This week is Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week 7th - 13th February 2022. There is a twitter #tag #ItsNotOK to track the week on Twitter. It is also #ChildrensMentalHealthWeek. Sadly there are far too many children who are suffering mental health issues due to sexual abuse and too many adults suffering legacy issues caused by abusers.

Sadly, this blog is aware of the suffering caused to several of our friends by these issues. Sexual predators are often very narcisistic and controlling personalities who carefully select victims who they think they can control and who will not expose them. One friends eldest child killed themself in their 20's, having only recently revealed historic abuse from when they were seven years old. The demons were too much. Of course abusers do not care. Many deviously manipulate themselves into positions of trust, some as teachers, some as people serving roles of trust in the community, with access to young people. The mechnism we have to protect young people is the DBS disclosure system and the sex offenders register. This only works when people are caught. This is why it is vital that we help and support ALL victims to report abusers.

Many adults also suffer abuse, often at the hands of abusive partners, sadly both grown women and men are not immune to the problem. The most powerful weapon abusers have is the lie that they perpetuate, that no one will believe the victims. That is why it is vital that we believe victims and give them as much support as we can. It is vital that they report abuse to police and it is vital that the police take the claims seriously.

This is why I am supporting #Itsnotok and will be retweeting and sharing their posts. If you want to find out more, check this website out https://sexualabuseandsexualviolenceawarenessweek.org/

Small Charity Grants in Barnet 2020-21 and a question for your local councillors

 I was intrigued to see the list of 17 grants made to local charities in the Borough of Barnet 2020-21 (the last available period available). CLICK HERE FOR THE SPREADSHEET

Click for a readable version

I don't really want to comment on individual grants. I am sure all recepients are worthy causes and it is good that the council was able to spend £61,177 on community organisations. What did interest me was that it seems some wards did rather better than others.  If you have a community organisation that would benefit from such a loan, CLICK HERE for details on how to apply.

There are 21 wards in the Borough of Barnet. I am sure each one has worthy community organisations. It strikes me that the wards that will do best are the wards that have local councillors who are motivated to work with their local community groups. I notice that a couple of charities managed to get two grants in the period. 

I'd suggest that a very good question you may wish to ask your local councillors, when they come knocking on your door as we approach the May Council elections is "Barnet Council dished out over £60,000 in grants to local community groups in 2020-21, the last accounting period published, what grants did you secure for community groups your ward in this period?".

My personal view is that I'd want councillors who can give a positive answer. Don't let them fob you off with tales of wonderful projects, make sure they demonstrate that they have supported local charities and can give examples of grants secured. I know several local sports clubs, cub, scout and brownie groups, etc that would have been delighted to have some financial support. 

I'm pro vaccine, I love Joni Mitchell but she's wrong about free speech on Spotify

 This is a blog that I've found difficult to write. There are many issues that come together and the brew that comes out is rather toxic. Firstly, I have to say that if Joni Mitchell and Neil Young wish to take their art of Spotify, that is there absolute right and I totally support them. If they'd done it because artists are not getting a fair deal from online platforms, I wouldn't be writing this. Secondly, I am very pro vaccine and I deplore people who are making money from spouting anti vax rubbish. I totally believe that there should be strict laws about propogating dangerous myths about medical treatments, especially when  this is done for cash. I've not listened to the Podcast that the bloke who all the fuss is about has produced. It would simply irritate me. Personally I'd much rather it wasn't on Spotify or any of the other online platforms. But, and here is the big but, I also believe in the right to free speach and I do not think that suppression of legally held views is the way forward. 

We desperately need a way of identifying harmful and dishonest content and legislating for it. Medical authorities and National Governments need to ensure that all relevant data is there so that dangerous lies can be debunked and the people who peddle them are held to account. If platforms such as Spotify host such material, they should be liable to face legal action. But it has to be based on science and properly constituted law. If I say "I will not not be vaccinated, because I saw a video on youtube that says it will make you magnetic and die of cancer and it won't stop you getting ill and dying of the disease it is aimed at" and such a video exists, it is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. If the video contains information that is untrue, then the person who has posted it, has potentially caused me harm. If I suffer as a result I should be able to seek recourse against the platform and the person who posted it. If I die, my dependents should. Harm has been caused. 

However, Me, Neil Young and Joni Mitchell, though we may hold such things in contempt, are not qualified and do not have the information to make such a desicision about whether information is false. We need to see medical authorities take the lead on this and governments legislate on it. I take the view that if someone is making spurious claims online, they should have to be able to prove that there is a scientific basis for their views. If they can, then it is a valdi view, even if we don't like it. If they can't, they should face the cost of having their views debunked and they should be legally prevented from posting material in future about health and well being. I am perfectly fine with David Icke saying he's the son of God and we should all wear Turquiose tracksuits. There is no logical reason to remove such things. When he posts myths about vaccines and makes a fortune from doing so, that is a different matter. It disturbs me that in this distopian age, governments don't have the wherewithal to address such myths in a proper scientific manner.

I am reminded of my mother whenever there is a discussion on vaccines. She was nearly killed by Diptheria in 1937. She also saw my brother suffer from Polio. She told me that the anti vaccine mob existed purely because people had forgot the sheer terror of plagues of infectious diseases. I recall her dressing down a friend who was saying they would not give their children the MMR vaccine. My mother recounted how she was told that my eldest brother had Polio and might die. She said that she prayed in gratitude to the Lord that for her younger children, Polio had been banished by vaccination. 

I cannot believe how people fall for such nonsense as peddled by the anti vaccine mob, but given that there is not a proper, central WHO resource, which addresses all of the myths in one central place, globally. Of course, some people will always believe that everything is a conspiracy. There are still some who believe the Earth is flat. That is their right, but we don't put them in charge of the NASA moon program. 

The Tweets of the week in the London Borough of Barnet 6th February 2022

 So what has your week been like?  I've had a busy week. Tuesday night I was at the Town Hall doing my civic duty grilling councillors. Wednesday I met with some mates at the Barcelona Tapas bar in Middlesex St. Thursday was five a side, Friday we went for a lovely Mexican meal at Mestizo (well worth a trip, only 30 mins from Mill Hill!), well worth a trip. Last night was at The Alice House in West Hampstead for a party. Looking forward to a nice relaxed Sunday with a Wild Boar joint from Boucherie Gerard once the doggies have had their walkies. 

That's enough of me, how's your week been? I've got to say that this weeks list is one that is well worth a read. In fact it's so good that we've eleven tweets this week, whereas the normal rule is ten. I hope you'll agree it warrants an extra one! Please follow any of these Tweeters who tickle your fancy (or any other parts). 

Without further ado, this is what our local tweeters have been up to.

1. Lets start with this wonderful image from one of our favourite local groups, looking after our local waterways.

#WorldWetlandsDay Let’s keep the wetland at #SilkstreamPark clean! #SilkStream #Burntoak #Barnet #WorldWetlandsDay2022 pic.twitter.com/PIkfM39uwe

— Friends of the Silk Stream (@silkstreamers) February 2, 2022

2. I rather like this post. I'd recommend walking Edgwarebury Lane, if you want to get a good flavour of our neighbourhood. From the bustle of Edgware Town Centre to the heart of the Green Belt

Edgwarebury Lane (1904)

This ancient lane, now suburban in nature in its southernmost sections, has long connected Edgware with Elstree. https://t.co/90jwNt46G4

— The Underground Map (@TUM_London) February 4, 2022

3. Whilst Mark Amies continues to campaign to try and retain some local character in Edgware, we will support him

All Edgware needed was to be looked after, and not allowed to slip into the mess it's in. Case in point - #RailwayHotelEdgware a @HistoricEngland Grade 2 listed building, left to neglect, vandalism and fires. pic.twitter.com/e9btOTTI7S

— Mark Amies (@Superfast72) February 3, 2022

4. I do love a moody picture of a bus in the fog. I would thoroughly recommend checking out Benjamin's pictures, they are wonderful, if like me you love pictures of London.

𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚐𝚐𝚢.... #London #streetphotography #streetphotographer #colindale pic.twitter.com/gYZPPlxbMs

— Benjamin Brewty (@BenBrewty) February 1, 2022

5. Rules are made to be broken. I normally only pick tweets posted this week, but I missed this and it really deserves a share. I do hope you'll forgive me. It would have been in last weeks had I not been so bad at my job!

@WHS_Carpet world's most boring postcard from Brent Cross pic.twitter.com/WnQgKHMI0Y

— Jonathan Parsons 🇪🇺🇬🇧🇮🇪 (@jonathanpuk) January 29, 2022

6. I've never posted a Tweet in French before, but this is truly wonderful!

La BBC en su búsqueda por un estudio de televisión donde hacer frente a las nuevas transmisiones a color arrendó en 1969 el Golders Green Hippodrome. 10 de febrero de 1977, la en ese momento consolidada y exitosa banda Jehtro Tull se presenta en dicho recinto. pic.twitter.com/ksvzbRxs0v

— AmableDonante (@AmableDonante) February 1, 2022

7. A date for your diary!

Date for your diaries north London folk 👇

We have a new venue for our annual seed swap this year but, come one, come all, and take some free seeds home with you 🤗 pic.twitter.com/nfp3cnKcGS

— Wendy at Incredible Edible Barnet (@IncEdibleBarnet) February 5, 2022

8. Springtime is coming. I hope this puts a smile on your face

Super springy morning in @Hendon_Parish cemetery, at once lovely to see but also indicative of the changing climate. pic.twitter.com/ZNxR5uQGcu

— Friends Of Hendon Grove (@hendon_grove) February 2, 2022

9. We do our best to promote the good things in our little corner of paradise. Good to see our friends at A better Mill Hill do as well. Can you help support these initiatives?

We’ve got a great community in Mill Hill. Here’s a couple of ways you can get involved - from British Heart Foundation and @MillHillLibrary pic.twitter.com/VStYxhcmbH

— A Better Mill Hill 🔸🌈🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@ABetterMillHill) February 5, 2022

10. Calling all singers. Improve your vocal technique!

Are you interested in improving your vocal techniques? We are running a masterclass in association with @UltArtists on Saturday. Full details herehttps://t.co/vGYZeDPnyQ pic.twitter.com/HQBUkPMocH

— #MillHillMusicComplex (@MillHillMusicCo) February 6, 2022

This weeks Bonus Tweet!!!!!
As we included a tweet from last week, here's a bonus for you. This tweet was posted by the Barnet Society after I started putting the list together and this is a really important matter. Many readers know the Mitre in Barnet, one of the best pubs in our area. Please read the link in the tweet. The Mitre is a historic building. We must ensure that it is preserved. Sadly our Council does not have a great record when it comes to looking after our local heritage. Can I also ask you to follow the Barnet Society and support the brilliant work they do.

NEW: update on Greene King’s plans for the Mitre on our website https://t.co/rsfYWi3MkB

— The Barnet Society (@barnetsociety) February 6, 2022

That's all folks!

The Saturday list #336 - Ten songs that were banned by the BBC which may surprise you

I recently got banned by the BBC, well Mr Eddie Nestor on the morning show to be precise! Have a listen. It was quite comical really. I was putting some boxes in the bins and when I came back, one of the guys who works for me said "You've just been banned by the BBC, what have you been doing?". I was quite mystified. My phone immediately started going like mental. My missus phoned up and insisted I rang up Eddie and apologised, completely refusing to believe that, to the best of my knowledge, I'd done nothing. Maybe one day I'll find out. Probably something I said on Twitter that upset the bosses, but who knows.

 I'm still not entirely sure why. As a long in the tooth punk rocker, I wear it as a badge of honour and have written a song to celebrate. Whilst you may not be surprised that songs with swearing in by my fellow punk rockers have been banned, when I was researching the list to write the lyrics I was rather surprised at some of the numbers on the list. Here are ten that tickled my fancy as it were.

1. All the young Dude's by Mott the Hoople. Given that I first heard this on Top of The Pops, I was incredulous at first. However, it turns out that the phrase "Wendy stealing clothes from Marks and Spencers" fell foul of the rules about free advertising. I'm not sure that M&S would benefit from army's of shoplifters turning up.

2. I'm always chasing rainbows by Ken Dodd. This is perhaps the most bizarre reason. It was banned for being a 'bad perversion of a Chopin melody". 

3. Hard Headed woman by Elvis Presley. This was banned for "biblical references to Adam and Eve and Samson and Delilah". 

4. Moonlight Cocktail by Glen Miller. This was banned for being "Sentimental slush"

5. Sincerely Yours by Liberace was also banned for nicking Chopin.

6. Killer Queen by Queen was banned by the BBC during the Gulf war, for offending sensibilities at a sensitive time. 

7. Foggy Dew by Peter Pears was banned for 'suggestive content'.

8. Stranger in Paradise by Tony Bennet was banned for being "disrespectful to the original tune by Boronin"

9. Waterloo by ABBA was another one banned by the BBC during the Gulf war, I'm not quite sure why. 

10. Greensleeves by the Beverly Sisters. The little folk ditty originally penned by King Henry VIII was bannned for being too raunchy. I love the Beverly Sisters and they foillowed it up with a cheeky dig at the BEEB called "We have to be so careful" which also got banned. 

So there you go. I'm in very good company. And I'm not cross with Eddie (even though he's cross with me), his standing invitation to bring his kids down for a drum practice stands. I'm hoping the ban will make my new tune go gold disc when we record it!

The Friday Joke - 4th February 2022

 I was sailing around Jamaica, when a boat pulled up alongside. All of a sudden, the occupants threw up a couple of grappling hooks and boarded. I was truly terrified. To my surprise, they all spread out across the deck and adopted the plank position. Bemused, I asked them what the hell is going on. They replied "Its the Pilates of the Caribbean". How did they know I was dyslexic?

I'm sure in years to come, this will be the moment we all remember as the defining moment in the fall of Boris. A tour de force by the delectable Nadine Dorries. My comedy highlight of the week. We pay for someone's wages, who decided it would be a good idea to send her out to speak to the press. 

I've just looked at this interview with @NadineDorries again.

Has she been drinking ?#borisjohnson #nadinedorries #DowningStreetParties pic.twitter.com/RfFNVIisxe

— Brexit Fails (@BrexitFails) January 31, 2022

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Do you know how much your Council Tax has gone up under the Barnet Tories in the last four years? Check here

Don't be fooled.

Today the @BarnetTories posted this Tweet

Barnet Conservatives plan to FREEZE council tax this year 💷

Barnet has lower council tax than neighbouring Labour-run councils 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 pic.twitter.com/TH3WdH0FsW

— Barnet Conservatives (@BarnetTories) February 3, 2022

You should always check out what they have done over the last four years before believing a word they say. The truth is that the @BarnetTories have been raising Council Tax.

To jog their memories here is what you paid in 2018/19 when they were last elected and what you pay now. Does this look like keeping a promise to you?

2018 Council Tax in Barnet -

Click on image for more readable version

Source - https://barnet.gov.uk 2018 Council Taxles/2019-02/009866_Council%20Tax%20and%20Business%20Rates%20online%20100318.pdf…

2022 Council Tax in Barnet -

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Source - https://barnet.gov.uk 2022 Council Taxles/2021-04/Council%20Tax%20Bus%20Rates%202021-22.pdf…

They promised to Keep Council Tax under control. They have done no such thing. We've all seen how much Boris Johnson likes telling the truth when it is inconvenient. It seems like this has spread to Barnet. We've seen a whole raft of stealth taxes from the Barnet Tories, with Parking charges hikes being imposed across the Borough, potholes appearing as roads aren't maintained, cemeteries getting overgrown. The sad truth is that the Council is being mismanaged and they will say anything to hang on to their juicy allowances as councillors.

Click here to see how much your local councillor was paid

At last - Barnet Tories admits that it got the Capita Contract wrong

 Ok, first a confession. I know nasty Barnet bloggers are not meant to say things like this, but I'm starting to like Peter Zinkin, chair of the Barnet Finance, Performance and Contracts committee. I've dealt with quite a few Barnet Tories over the years. Some, such as Mike Freer, Dan Thomas, Brian Coleman, Robert Rams and Reuben Thompstone are aloof, condescending and lack respect for the public. Some are ok, pleasant, treat the public with respect and you can have a chat with them after as normal human beings. I'd include Brian and Kate Salinger, Richard Cornelius, John Hart, Hugh Rayner and Sachin Rajput in this list. It's nothing to do with their personal politics, its just an observation as to how they treat the public in their role as a councillor. I have to add Peter Zinkin to the second list. Unlike John Hart, I've not had a cheeky pint in the Bridge, swapping jokes, but he takes his job seriously and is respectful to the public as committee chair. Myself and John Dix asked questions of the committee and I have to confess, both John and I got straight and candid answers to several questions. 

I asked two questions, on agenda items 7 (Capita Contract) and 8 (Chief Financial Officers report). The way the committee works, is that they provide a written answer and then you get the chance to ask a question on the agenda item. A maximum of two question are permitted and the questions can be no more than 100 words long. At the meeting, you are allowed to ask a follow up question if you are not satisfied. There used to be no limit, with just a 30 minute time limit on the questions. 

I was first up and I thought I'd push my luck a bit. As I detailed in this blog, I was very upset at the late publication of the reports. This meant that it was impossible to properly review them, One report missed the deadline for questions altogether. It is unacceptable. I started by stating that I thought it was unacceptable and that the council should have a mechanism for dealing with questions when reports are late. Strictly speaking, this question was out of order, but Councillor Zinkin not only accepted the observation, but agreed with the Labour group leader Barry Rawlings that this should be raised with the Constitution committee so that a proper mechanism for dealing with this scenario could be introduced. 

I have to admit, I was surprised. It is rare for anything a blogger says in Council to be accepted, but it was most welcome. I realised that I might not have quite as frustrating evening as I expected. Next up, I asked a question about the Capita contract extension. I read the final sentance of the answer out. "As stated in the report, the financial and commercial elements are complex and further work is required to ensure that any recommendations are based on a sound understanding of the cost and budget position." 

I aked  whether the Barnet client side organisation was "too thin". For those unfamiliar with council speak, this means that there are not enough qualified people montoring Capita. Councillor Zinkin shocked me with his answer. He admitted that big mistakes were made in 2014 when the contract was set up and yes, the Council team was too thin to do its job, meaning that Capita had got away with murder (not his words). Of course, now everything was fine and dandy and the fact that the deadline for renewing the contract had been missed was nothing to do with lack of resources and the fact that it wouldn't be done until after the election (something I'd suggested was a time bomb for the incoming adinistration) was purely because they were doing such a good job. Councillor Zinkin suggested that he was surprised I could make the "Time Bomb" accusation and that this was most unfair. I replied that they've known the timescales since the contract was signed and had plenty of time. I am not sure whether the fact that renewal has been pushed until after the election is a happy coincidence or a clever political ploy by The Tories. All I know is that it is very handy for them. It would be nice if Labour state that the delay will give a chance to do a proper review and being services in house if this will save money. I don't expect this to happen. 

We moved on to Item 8, the CFO's report. It gave me a chance to raise the fact that a single question of less than 100 words makes scrutiny impossible. I admitted I'd misunderstood the wording of the report, but pointed out that the late submission meant there was little time to read the report and cross reference with other reports, as Councillor Zinkin suggested. I stated that the report should give details of costs of slippages. Councillor Zinkin suggested that this info was detailed elsewhere. He also made the offer of the opportunity to go through the reports with a Council Officer. I will be contacting Mr Reasonable to see if he would participate. To be honest, his input would be invaluable and would massively improve scrutiny. In all my time attending meetings, this was the first time such an offer has been made and it is hopefully a sign that after a decade of hostility to the public, we are entering a new era. It will be very interesting to see how this progresses, whoever wins.

Next up, we had Mr Reasonable with three questions. He started by informing Councillor Zinkin that he agreed with me. Project slippage had inherent costs. These needed to be accounted for. John works on large infrastructure projects and understands that interest and finance costs need to be monitored if things are slipping, which they clearly are.

He'd done one of his usual insightful blogs on Monday, detailing how Capita were not providing value for money to Barnet residents. His first question, on the Capita report was a simple one. Would the Barnet Tories please stop making claims about savings, when they are unprepared to provide any evidence to back these claims up. I'm not sure whether Councillor Zinkin agreed or just sympathised. I've listened a couple of times and I'm not entirely sure.

The next two questions concerned the Brent Cross West station development. I had a chat with John before the meeting about this. We share a view that it is right and proper that a station is built. We also have no problem that the council is helping to finance it. His problem (and I agree 100%) is that the council is funding it, taking 100% of the risk, but will share the profits (if any ever arrive) with the developers of Brent Cross. This is absolutely bonkers. When the project was conceived, the world was different, people actually used trains to go to their office every day. I suspect that whatever happens, it will be a long time before such things happen and there is a healthy income stream. However, if the UK is to deal with the challenges of climate change, we need to maximise public transport usage. This means projects like this. John was keen to see the risk properly assessed and included in the council's accounts. There was a degree of acknowledgement that this was a good point. We will see if it is actually actions these.

I stayed for the Capita report. Labour asked for disclosure of various figures, so the public could be informed going into the elections. A vote was held and the Tories rejected the proposal on the chair's casting vote. There was also a dispute when a Labour Councillor read an FoI response that named and shamed a council officer. Councillor Zinkin was enraged. He stated that he did not want councillors demonising officers in his committee. Labour Leader Barry Rawlings (who since I last saw him has grown a huge beard and looks like Santa Clause, without a red suite though) stated that as it was an FOI repsonse, it was in the public domain. I often think the Council would be a better place without political parties. Most of the councillors are reasonable human beings. They are forced to put their hands up all of the time to pass motions they disagree with. You can always tell when they are doing this as they refuse to make eye contact. I'm not sure what they really think they are achieving (beyond preservation of jobs and allowances for themselves). I find it frustration. The council would work so much better if it was open and transparent. This happens in the USA where all public contracts are fully published. I don't buy the concept of confidentiality in commercial contracts. I'd like to see it all published. That way competetors would know where they went wrong and try and be more competetive. I understand that many aspects of what the council do (social work, etc) should be private, but there is no excuse for hiding how money is spent. 

I recorded the question time for posterity. If you are interested in these discussions, there are some rather interesting points in there. The Barnet Eye was the first blog to video a Council meeting. Sadly, since the demise of Dan Hope, people don't bother so much. It is a shame, as we really should care. The decisions made in Council affect how much tax you pay, how well your roads are fixed, how your children's schools are run, whether stations are built, how you will be treated in social care if you need it. I could go on. Councillors get paid a minimum of over £10,000 a year to attend these meetings. You pay that, surely you should care what they do?

One interesting thing. As I was leaving, I was approached by the Council officer who was the author of one of the late reports. They explained that the report was ready on time, they take great pride in getting reports produced promptly, but was withheld as it was also relevant to another meeting and was released after this meeting had been held. They were at pains to insist that nothing was untoward. I take that very much at face value, but as the council agreed, in such circumstances, there should be a formal process for delaying the deadline for questions.

I've given up on @BBCRadioLondon

Dear 

@Sara__David

 it used to be that we'd get a good dose of news with @VanessaOnAir

  until 10am, then 

@RobertElms

 and 

@middleagedminx

 would cheer us up and remind us of all that was good in the world. 

@middleagedminx

 did a fine job on drivetime with a news slot which is his forteThe changes you have designed have made the station non stop doom and gloom until 2pm. Put @EddieNestorMBE  back where he belongs and give us some sort of break from this misery. 

London is an amazing city, we need some focus on the positive and the culture of London during the day. I wish to make it 100% clear that this is not a rant about @EddieNestorMBE and 

@jumokefashola

 who are brilliant presenters. It is just that the whole tone of this is wrong. If I wanted this I'd listen to 

@mrjamesob

 on @LBC who does an amazing job. @BBCRadioLondon is not that station. And as for your playlist, both @EddieNestorMBE and @jumokefashola are grown ups who know their onions when it comes to music. I find it quite insulting that you don't trust them to pick their own music. I give up. When I heard the dulcet tones of @BorisJohnson on @BBCRadioLondon I gave up. Now listening to my Wire Pop songs playlist to restore my sanity

 

 London needs a proper station that covers it's culture, music and arts. Pretty much like what Robert does. I will still listen to his weekend shows, as well as David and Carrie Grant, but I'm sorry, I've tried my hardest and the midweek shows simply just doesn't work for us anymore. We've always listened to the morning show in the studio reception and I can't inflict this on my staff and customers anymore.

With Robert, there would be some decent tunes and some great info about what was happening in London. I tried my hardest, but it just doesn't work.  Yesterday Vanessa's show discussed ghosting. I thought I'd do the station the courtesy of an explanation. In case you didn't know Sara David is the boss at the BBC who designed the new schedule.

I'll end, with what seems and appropriate quote from Too Late by Wire.

"Is it too late to change up my mind?

Pisses icy water on poetic mornings

Got to be cruel to be kind

Is this real life, is it for life?

Can I change up my mind?"