Friday, 8 November 2019

The Friday Joke - Who should you cast your vote for in the 2019 General Election

I am starting to think that Politics has been reinvented as satire. We have a Prime Minister who made his name as a bumbling idiot on a comedy quiz show. We have leader of the opposition, who is bidding to be Prime Minister having made a career of being an Ultra backbencher, spending more of his time disagreeing with former leaders of his own party than the Tories. We have a leader of the Brexit Party who can't even be bothered to stand, because he knows he'd lose for an eighth time in a row. We have a Leader of The Lib Dems who desperately wants to see a coalition government but claims she can't support the leader of the Tories or Labour????

So who should you vote for? The Barnet Eye would never seek to tell you, but here are a few pointers, that we hope will give you a few ideas.

You should consider voting Conservative if.....
You think that Boris shafting the DUP on Brexit was a price worth paying.
You hate the poor because their poverty is all their own fault
You think that Jacob Rees Mogg is the voice of reason.
You hated the 1970's and want to return Great Britain to the 1950's, it was much nicer then.
You run a hedge fund or present a TV program for petrol heads.

You  should consider votinge Labour if.....
You sort of want something to happen to make Brexit go away
You hate very rich people.
You hate you hate public school education (unless your kids go there).
You think that Leon Trotsky is the voice of reason.
You want a return to the 1970's (punk rock, free university education, British Rail)
You work in the public sector for an area ripe for outsourcing.

You  should consider voting Lib Dem if......
You hate Brexit.
You can't stomach Nigel Farage, Jeremy Corbyn and Boris Johnson.
You love the 1970's, but only for the disco music and cheese and wine parties with Blue Nun.
You think that Delia Smith is the voice of reason.
You don't trust the either of the current Labour or Tory party to be left alone with the keys to no 10.
You work for yourself and know that an economic disaster will destroy your business.

You  should consider voting Brexit Party if......
You want a no deal Brexit.
You only trust Nigel Farage out of all the political leaders.
You think Anne Widdecombe is the voice of reason.
You remember the glory days of the 1970's as listening to Skrewdriver and football firms
You think that everyone else is either a traitor or a splitter or an establishment stooge.
You have retired, have a safe pension and no children or grandchildren

You  should consider voting Green if.....
Sod Brexit, You were arrested at the XR protests for civil disobedience
You think meat is murder and we should all turn vegan
You think that Ralph Nader is the voice of reason.
Sod the 1970's, it's the 1960's we should return to, Hippies and Peace and Love.
You like a big spliff, but only for medicinal reasons.
Work... What's that?????


Please join us on Friday 13th December at 8pm at The Midland Hotel, Hendon, for the Barnet Eye Community awards and annual Xmas party. We are also looking for nominations for our community awards, click here for details. Free admission

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