Wednesday 17 October 2018

The Wednesday Poem #50 - Ten Years in Daily Express Headlines

By a strange coincidence, we make the half century of Wednesday Poems in the week of Our tenth Birthday. I thought I'd write a little poem based on Daily Express headlines from our last ten Birthdays. It is interesting to note that since 2008, the headlines have become ever more wordy and clunky and harder to rhyme. I wonder how many of these stories you remember. Some like the death of Stephen Gatley and the Chile mine rescue seem far more recent. Styistically this isn't my best effort, it's probably my worst, but it is fun. I love the Harlequin STD story. Originally this was going to be one Daily Express headline and the equivalent Barnet Eye headline, but it really didn't work half as well

Where do we go from here?
2008 was an awful year
Footsie loses £92bn in fall to 5-year low 
Austerity has hit as we start our little show!

Researchers claim Jim Morrison's ghost picture is NOT a fake
 2009's birthday had a rather different take
Boyzone star Stephen Gately dies in Mallorca aged 33
Not a single mention of the broke economy!

Chile mine rescue tests 'a success'
2010 rescue thta held us all in stress
Putin's party tightens its grip
Russia's fearsome tyrant starts his power trip

Winter fuel crisis on way
2011 scare stories as a cold spell's on the way
20 million facing old age with no pension
they'll have to work for ever in a long career extension

Energy bills to soar by £100-a-year
2012 saw prices getting very very dear
Cost of your weekly shop to rocket
Watch that little pound coin devaule in your pocket

Want a better social life? There's an app for that
2013 was the when we all fell for that
Petrol supplies in danger as refinery workers strike
Workers have enough as they see prices hike

'It all went wrong' says Clarkson as BBC boss vows Falklands War plate 'was not a stunt'
2014  saw Clarkson acting like a C...
Grace Kelly beats Kate Middleton to be named the most stylish bride of all time
Given the choice I think I prefer mine!

Pension CRISIS: Millions of workers not saving enough
2015 headlines show that millions are stuffed
John Bercow: Mr Speaker puts his house in order as Sally moves back in
Did anyone give a f... about his kith and kin?

‘Postcode lottery’ for parents on children’s first day at school
2016 Parents feel the strain of arcane allocation rules
Police warning after six people fall ill from 'bad batch' of drugs
Keep off that dodgy weed dont take to many lugs!

Shetland man jailed for 30 years of abusing wife
2017 saw troubles in Shetland married life
George Osborne moped robber nailed by his bitten fingers
But the smell of Osbornes failures in the nation still lingers

UK Ladybird invasion: Can you REALLY catch sex disease from Harlequin LADYBIRDS?
2018 immigrant scare leaves me lost for words
Meghan Markle’s dad makes BOMBSHELL confession: ‘I sniffed cocaine’
Seems to me the man is just a giant pain!

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