It's my birthday and I'll die if I want to!

I realised I've not written a birthday blog since 2016. The reason is I've been away for the last couple of years. When I'm away, I usually bank a few blogs to keep you entertained, and I don't write them whilst away as I consider it work, which I avoid on holidays and especially on my birthday. However I've no aversion to writing fun blogs, which I hope this is.  I awoke to the realisation that for me, the day of my birthday is perhaps the most perilous of the year. Not only is it a day I drink too much usually (this year is an exception, as I am playing five a side football later, so I won't be in The Bridge until 10pm, resteicting boozing time,  please feel free to join me for a half if you are at a loose end).

It is the day of the year when my family encourage me to do perilous things on the basis that I should enjoy near death experiences. In actual fact, I'm pretty risk averse. I've no inclination to do a parachute jump, a bungee jump, do a tarantula or King Cobra handling experience at London zoo or even eat raw, uncooked fish at overpriced restaurants. My family seem to think my aversion to these sorts of activities is because I am a miserable git. I can sum it up in a song I wrote in 1981 called Action Shock. There is a line that reads "Please not me I love my life". And I do. It is precious and not to be wasted by the prospect of unnecessary death. As I get older, I find myself thinking more about death. I am, as of today, a mere 12 years younger than my Dad was when he had a heart attack and popped his clogs. I am the age he was in 1975, an age at which he downed a pint of scotch at a Parish do at the Sacred Heart and had to be dragged home by my elder brothers. He was lying in the middle of the road outside Woolworths, unable to move.

A couple of years later, at my sister Valerie's birthday party, a friend of hers spiked the bowl of punch (remember when they were obligatory) with a large bag of amphetamine sulphate to make the party go with a swing. I was 14. My Dad was 60. We both had several large glasses of the punch. The party went with a swing. I guess I am one of the few people who's first experience of Class A drugs was with their parents. My father used to be given the drug as a bomber pilot during the second world war, to stop him falling asleep whilst bombing the Germans. For me, it was a very revealing experience. For the first time in my life, I felt like a normal person. I later learned that they use amphetamines to treat ADHD. As no one died and everyone had a great time, it gave me an interesting perspective on drug usage. It took a few years to realise that drugs were not made me feel normal, it was having the confidence to be myself. I wouldn't condone spiking anyones drinks, even if everyone has an amazing time. A few years later, at my 21st Birthday party, my then girlfriends sisters partner spiked a stew with Opium. I didn't have any, my band were playing. We realised something was wrong when our friends started behaving like extra's in Shawn of the Dead, walking around like Zombies, throwing up, falling asleep in the strangest places. My then girlfriend spent two hours throwing her guts up and went to bed at 10pm, much to my disgust. I thought she'd just drunk too much. We had to rescue my brother from the M1, he'd wondered up onto the motorway and was about to be arrested. I only managed to get the Police to release him as I explained he had learning difficulties (he hasn't but he was completely Zombiefied). As I was 100% sober they had no reason to doubt me. I doubt too many other people had birthday parties in Mill Hill that stopped the traffic on the Motorway. My Brother was also taken home to bed by his highly annoyed wife.

These days, I rarely awake on the 23rd with even a hangover. I tend to just have a meal and a few drinks. If the date falls on a Saturday, I may do a family barbeque, but generally we are away. A few years ago, I realised that as it's my day, I should be selfish and do what I want. As far as I'm concerned, as my Dad was an Aussie it starts when the Sun rises in Queensland, so I had a tasty curry last night at The Mill Hill Tandoori, followed by a couple of beers with friends at The Services Club. I'll have lunch with the family and then a nice long walk with the doggies.

As birthdays go, 57 seems unremarkable. Maybe I'll have some baked beans, as I was the face of Heinz beans fifty years ago when I was a child actor. Anyone of my age or older, will have seen the advert "We can't go on holiday without the beans mum!". That was me. That ad paid for my first guitar.

Anyway, that's me done for blogging today.  Here's a little tune from the False Dots for your delectation. I rather like it. It's a live track from our show last year at The Midland Hotel. The sound is a bit 'Live' But it shows us at our best rocking and having fun!