Friday 15 October 2021

The Friday Joke - 15th October 2021

 It's Friday and in the usual tradition of this blog, we have a Friday Joke. Regular readers will know that we are animal lovers here. So here is an animal joke. You will also know we love a bit of technology. So here is a joke for your delectation. A mad scientist develops a micro chip that can be inserted into the brain of any animal, allowing them to speak perfect English. Once it has been perfected, he decides to test it on his pet dog and cat. He gives them anaesthetic, inserts the chip and then lays them out in the front room to recover. Realising that it will take a while for the animals to recover, he wanders off to the pub and proceeds to get bladdered.

The cat and dog awake at the same time. The cat wakes up, stares at the dog, who stares back. The cat says "What are you looking at dogface?" The dog is startled, he understands perfectly. He replies without thinking. 

"A mangy old stink bag since you asked!" The cat like wise is startled. How can the dog be speaking perfect English and how can I understand what he's saying.

The cat and dog start discussing what could possibly have happened. Both agree that they'd better keep schtum when the master returns until they've figured out what is going on. Both have figured out that it may not be too wise to have the human knowing they can speak English.

Shortly after the Master arrives. He has a bevvy of friends in tow from the pub. They all gather around as the scientist explains what he's done and how the animals will earn him a fortune. The cat and dog give each other a sideways glance, realising this could interfere with their hither to comfy life. 

The scientist addresses the cat and say "Tiddles, would you prefer chicken or tuna for tea?". The cat looks at him and says "Meow" and starts licking his paws. The scientist realises that maybe there may be a fault in the cat's chip. There are guffaws from the assembled drunks.

He says "I'll have to check that later, the dogs chip must be ok". He turns to the dog and says "What would you prefer a walkies or a juicy bone". The dog looks at him, feigning a puzzled look and says "woof!". 

At this the drunks start to tease and laugh at the scientist, asking him what he's been drinking all day. The cat and dog feel relieved. They've both twigged that they can use this to their advantage. Now they know what the human is up to. Life will be so much easier. The scientist is distraught and kicks out the drunks. As he's sitting there, a foul stench fills the room. His life work has been for nothing. As he's drunk he turns to the dog and says "You useless mutt, you are no good as a guard dog, you are no good as a house dog, you don't fetch a ball. All you do is sit there and fart".

The dog, enraged at the insult, fixes him in his sights and says "That was the cat!".

Have a great weekend. 

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