Friday 24 May 2024

Ten Reasons to vote for Ameet Jogia, your Conservative candidate in Hendon

 It seems that there have been a plethora of videos from former Lib Dems in Hendon, urging people to vote for David Pinto-Duschinsky. the Labour candidate. I am horrified by such videos. Here is the worst example, by former candidate Alisdair Hill.

I simply cannot understand how on earth anyone could possibly post such a horrible piece of cinematography. I mean, if you are going to try and grab your two minutes of fame, you should at least get some exciting theme music and some sexy action shots. If Alisdair was photographed falling down a Tory pothole or not being arrested for shoplifting because there are no police, that would be fine, but come on, filming a video standing in your hall, with a couple of cheap Woolworths pictures from 1987 on the wall behind you is not going to convince anyone! I had been planning to tactically vote for David Pinto-Duschinsky, as I really want to see the back of this awful Tory government, however after seeing this horrible video, I've been totally put off and will be voting for our CONSERVATIVE candidate Ameet Jogia.

There are ten excellent reasons to vote for Ameet Jogia, the Tory candidate.

1. The Cheese shop pledge.  Back in 2010, the then Tory candidate Matthew Offord promised the residents of Mill Hill a cheese shop if he was elected. Sadly after fourteen years, no cheese shop materialised. However, I believe that Ameet Jogia is made of sterner stuff. As I love cheese, I simply can't wait. Since Matthew Offord won in 2010, many shops on Mill Hill Broadway have closed and are now lying derelict. There are plenty of opportunities for a cheesemonger! If Mr Jogia knocks on your door, ask him if he's committed to revitalising The Broadway and bringing is a cheese shop.

2. Repairing our roads. Mr Jogia has stated in his leaflet that "it is important for local businesses to have the best possible roads for transportation". I can't argue with that. Clearly he has a far better plan than his predecessor Matthew Offord, who in the last fourteen years has presided over the complete disintegration of Barnet's roads. I am not quite sure why Mr Jogia thinks only local businesses need decent roads, but I for one am pleased that he's on the case.

3. Keeping Bus fares low. In his leaflet, Mr Jogia states "Giving local leaders the funding to keep bus fares low" is a key pledge. Given that his predecessor Matthew Offord had slated Sadiq Khan for freezing bus fares, this is a welcome change and a wonderful reason to vote for Mr Jogia.

4. Immigration. Mr Jogia states that Rishi Sunak's plan is working and voting for him will deliver "controlled immigration". I do love an optimist!

5. Ameet was born in Edgware and has lived locally all of his life! His leaflet makes this proud boast. I was also born in Edgware General and have lived locally all of my life (apart from six months in Stockholm in 1981). This clearly means that he is  wonderful and deserves my vote. Maybe I should stand, as I'm older than him and have lived here far longer, so I'm even better qualified.

6. Lower mortgage rates. This is a wonderful pledge. As I've still got seven years of my mortgage left and my payments have trebled under Rishi Sunak, this is a wonderful commitment. Me being an uninformed idiot, I thought the Bank of England set interest rates, but if Mr Jogia will lower them, then he's the man for me!

7. More Police! Now this is a wonderful pledge. Since David Cameron decimated police budgets in 2010, Mill Hill. A quick look at the local crime map shows just how dangerous it is to live in Mill Hill.

After 14 years of this, it is wonderful that Mr Jogia is going to fix things. 

8. A commitment to net zero. As regular readers will know, I am a big fan of net zero. I was interested to see that his strategy involves "letting households keep their gas boilers for as long as they work". Now this does require translation. What he is actually saying is that no one will be allowed to have a new gas boiler, once their old one packs up. It is a shame that his proof reader didn't make this a bit clearer as this is a key part of meeting net zero requirements.

9. Ameet loves local businesses. How do I know? He said so! Here's what he said on Facebook "Mill Hill is an amazing part of our community, with amazing local businesses." So amazing that he said it twice in one sentence! He clearly wasn't taught by Miss O'Donovan at St Vincents, where you'd get hit on the knuckles with a ruler for doing such things. Anyone who defies Miss O'Donovan is fine by me! Having explained why Alisdair Hill's video turned me to Ameet, I thought I'd check out his latest video. Sadly, it is even more boring that Alisdair's. It really doesn't bring out the fun side of Ameet and his mates in the Conservatives. But hey ho, at least no cheap pics from Woolies! (you may notice that Ameet claims he was born in Hendon. In his leaflet he says he was born in Edgware, I wish he'd make his mind up).

10. We All Love a Party! Labour are a complete bunch of misery guts. Whilst Labour were being misery guts bores and following the law during lockdown, the Tory were showing us how to party. Admittedly the rest of us were getting fined and arrested for such things, but what is the point of being in charge if you have to follow the same rules as the little people! My band The False Dots wrote a song called "We All love a Party" and I think that it would be an excellent soundtrack for the Tories, the perfect antidote to the bloke playing "Things can only get better". As every other Lib Dem seems to be making videos supporting Labour, here's my one for the Tories!  I've taken Ameet's rather dull video and made something everyone will enjoy!

You are welcome!


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