Thursday 16 May 2024

What is wrong with the British in regards to sex education?

In all of the debate about sex education,  and when we should start educating kids, the government is denying kids who are vulnerable and at risk and have no idea that things are not right, the tools to protect themselves.  They are vulnerable because they don't know that predatory adults are preying on them. I do wonder what all of these debates and rules really do for people who actually need to have some sort of knowledge at 9. The sad truth is that there are children of 9 and younger who are being sexually abused. In Mill Hill, there is still a resident who was a teacher at a local school, who was jailed for eight years for abusing a girl under 9. She simply didn't have the tools to recognise that what was happening was wrong, because a person in a position of trust took advantage of them. 

If you ban discussions about sex before the age of nine, what happens in class when that comes up. I was at RC primary school and we were told about the biology of sex in our final year of primary school. I then went to RC Boys secondary school. Clearly, what is taught should be appropriate for the age of the child, but they need some idea of what happens and what is acceptable and not. 

My own formal sex education was woeful. I was pretty clueless until I was around 14.  I knew nothing about STD's, contraception etc. My eyes were opened to the failure of the UK in regards to sex education when I was 18 I moved to Stockholm to live with my Swedish girlfriend. In Sweden, children were educated about sex from infant schools. It was taught in a matter of fact way and demystified. As a result she was able to talk sensibly about things in a way most English girls weren't. She was a perfectly normal person in every way.

In the UK we simply can't have a sensible discussion about these things. Knowledge is never a bad thing. Having been treated for prostate cancer last year, I've had lots of conversations with all manner of people about strength of erections etc. This is vital to my health and wellbeing. Had I had a medical condition when I was 13 I'd probably have denied even having erections as I'd be so embarrassed. I thought I was abnormal getting them spontaneously when I was near attractive girls, when they first started aged 10-11.  When I first became aware of them and felt really guilty about sexual dreams. I think it's funny now, but from age 11 to 14 ish, I was completely clueless. 

I think the first time I really had a clue was when I read a book called The Joy of Sex aged 14. To be honest, I couldn't get my head around half of it, not least because the bloke looked like Bjorn from ABBA, but mostly because it was information overload. Having learned nothing to that point, all of a sudden, everything seemed there in front of me. When I read it, much of what was described made me feel highly uncomfortable. Being from a Roman Catholic background, it also seemed incredibly naughty and I felt guilty reading it. Having said that, it was fascinating and at least I felt I had some idea what it was all about. The most difficult lesson for me to learn was that sexual activity is a very wide spectrum of behaviour. You only should ever indulge in it, when you are comfortable with the company you are in and you should only do things that you are happy to do. That is the most important lesson of all. 

The big problem for me is really that I thought I was dysfunctional when I was normal. What would have happened, if I was dysfunctional and was unable to get aroused or get erections? When would I have realised that I had a problem? 

Not educating children is not protecting them. It is placing them at risk. Sadly, we have a government that simply doesn't seem to understand this. 


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Thursday  30th May, The Horn, St Albans CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS AND TICKETS enter FD24 for a discount!

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