Rog T's Cancer Blog - Three years on and all clear but......

 So today, I had my last consultation with Professor Christopher Eden, the amazing surgeon who removed my cancerous prostate.  Going forI am now back under my GP, as my PSA tests since the operation have been undetectable, apart from one outlier test in February, which showed a small raise. Whilst, as with any cancer, there is a small chance it may return, statistically it is unlikely. I will continue to have PSA tests for the foreseeable future. This is precautionary, but these will be GP reviewed. 

This is not the end of the journey. I will still get stressed as each test approaches. That is human nature. I will live with the life changing effects of the surgery for the rest of my days, but my experience has been far better than just about everyone else I know in regards to after effects, but it is not without a degree of change to life. But I am lucky. The journey started in 2011, with a high PSA test. I had a well man checkup and I had a slightly raised PSA level. This was followed by another one, which was even higher. 

A biopsy followed and I was told I had a low grade cancer, and was put on a programme of active surveillance (A PSA test every six months). In 2015, it started to become more active and I had HIFU treatment at UCH. This addressed the issue until 2023, when it became very active and I had the prostatectomy.

I could write a million words on the effects of it all on my mental health. For me, cancer is as much a mental health issue as a physical health challenge. I like to think I am a robust person, but it has been difficult to deal with. Perhaps, for me, the most difficult aspect is that every time I have become complacent, it has become active. I feel like the albatross will never be truly off my back.

But that is enough about me. As I am in the habit of doing, I had a little chat with Professor Eden about how business is going. He told me something that slightly disturbed me. He said "Do you have brothers and sons?". I have two brothers and a son. He said "As it is in the family, make sure they all get regular PSA checks when they are over 50, as you have a family history". He add "Now the NHS no longer does regular screening, men are finding out far too late". Since I started writing this series of blogs, 30 men have contacted me to inform me that they read the blog, got tested and it was caught in time. If I've done nothing else good in my life, 30 people will live a bit longer and have a better quality of life. That makes it all worth while. So please get a test. I hope you will not be 31, but if you are, that is better than finding out in 5 years time when you start peeing blood and they can't do much for you as it has spread.

I wrote this song and made the video when I had the treatment. 

Rog T's Cancer Blog -- Three years ago today, I had my prostate removed

 Three years ago today, at about this time (11am - when I write this), I was being prepared in the operating theatre to have my prostate removed. What has happened since? Well at this point I am cancer free, according to my last PSA test. I suppose that is the most important thing, but what else? We'll I've done 45 gigs with The False Dots, I've released two albums  - Don't be afraid of a finger in the sun and We don't live in America. I've written 700 blogs. I've seen my team win the FIFA Club world Cup, The Premiership,  the FA Cup and The League Cup. I saw my other team Hadley FC with the Herts Charity cup and also beat Dogana Juveneze FC in San Marino. My eldest daughter has got engaged. My nephew and Godson has had two lovely daughters. My neice and Goddaughter got married. We've had amazing holidays in Valencia, Donegal, Nice, Lourdes, Cesenatico and Dublin. I have no idea how many brilliant gigs I've been to, how many great curries I've had or how many times I've had great nights out with friends. You may think to yourself "what's he on about?". Well the point is that life goes on and I have enjoyed life. 

So you wanna know the gory details. I am mostly fully continent. I don't pee my pants as a rule. There are caveats. If I drink too much, generally it is wise to have a loo nearby. Also when I pee I have to remember the ten second rule. What is that you may ask? Well what it means is that when I pee, I count to ten and try and pee again. That empties my bladder and then there is no leakage. I can get an erection, although generally to get a strong one I need a tablet. I can reach an orgasm. It is dry (nothing is ejected, although the sensation is the same). Generally if I drink this becomes more difficult. I am sharing this because this was my biggest fear. This was the reason I nearly didn't have surgery. Is this aspect of my life great or as good as it was before. I'd be lying if I said it was and I do get frustrated with myself at times. There are times when things start and then they stop dead. Generally this is linked to alcohol and tiredness. There is less spontinaity. My surgeon informs me that for many men my age, who have not had a prostatectomy this is the case, but that is not really much solace when things don't work. From talking to other people who've had the op, I have concluded that I made the right decision engaging Professor Christopher Eden and would recommend him. 

The one question that has always interested me is what would have happened had I just left it. My cancer was localised but becoming aggressive and was on the move. Professor Eden suggested that in a time period of 2-5 years, the cancer would have broken out. It would have spread to my bones etc and I would have started to see my bones detriorate and had severe pain. I would have had options to manage it, but this would be a lifelong issue. Depending on when and if I chose to do anything, my options would have been far more limited. If a bus had run me over last week and I was dead, I think the operation would definitely been the wrong option, but that hasn't happened. I had a look at the list of well known people who are listed as having/had prostate cancer on wikipedia. There are two people on the list, who were born in 1962. Both did not benefit from the early diagnosis I had in 2011. Both are dead. I had HIFU treatment in 2016 and a radical prostatectomy in 2023. Last month, TV present Dermot Murnaghan died at age 68 of aggressive prostate cancer last month. Every time I hear such news, I say a prayer of thanks that I went to see Dr Cuttell at Mllway Medical Practice in 2011 about my knee. He suggested "an MOT" as I was nearly 50. I had no symptoms. That was when this journey started. Given my extreme good fortune in having it picked up early, I would be extremely stupid to not do everything I could to avoid seeing it spread.

I am a member of several prostate support groups. Sadly most of the stories on them are far more negative than mine. I urge anyone who might be reading this and is around my age to get a PSA test. I feel it is vital to be honest and share my fears and doubts, because anyone who says they haven't had doubts and worries is probably lying. It isn't perfect. I wish I'd never had the horrible disease, but if you have to have it, the earlier you catch it the better your outcomes. 

On our 2024 album, we recorded a song called "Don't be scared of a finger up the bum" to encourage men to get a PSA test. I filmed the footage on the way to the surgery and in the aftermath. It is a really important message. Much to my annoyance UK radio stations refuse to play it because they think it is rude. Please spread the word. To sum up. Life is good, I am hoping my surgeon will discharge me in September. Given everything, things are good. 

Rog T's Cancer Blog - My support for Eddie Nestor after his cancer statement

Back in 2023, I was personally struggling. Having been diagnosed with  prostate cancer in 2011, I was faced with a second round of treatment, which was going to be life changing. This series of blogs gave some clue to my readers. I didn't personally realise the magnitude of challenges I was facing. To my surprise though, BBC Radio London mid morning host Eddie Nestor had been following the blogs and got in contact. Eddie had his own challenge with cancer a couple of decades ago and recognised the fact that I was struggling, perhaps more than I realised. Eddie got in touch and offered his support. We have discussed cancer many times since.

Yesterday, Eddie announced that he was facing a new battle himself. When I started this journey, back in 2011, I would have posted a blog saying "Thoughts and prayers with you Eddie, I don't know what else to say". Now I do. I have grown up. One of the most important lessons I learned in 2023 is that you have to say what you feel. I have this message for Eddie. 

Dear Eddie, 

I read your post on Facebook yesterday and I was absolutely devastates. When we have spoken recently about cancer, it has been from the perspective of  people who had survived, moved on and wanted to help others facing the challenges and share our experience. We both also know that the monster may still be under the bed. When we last spoke, we discussed how for people in our position, cancer is more a mental health issue than a physical one. What we spoke of the anxiety of check ups and perceived symptoms. We spoke of the fear of the monster under the bed.

In 2023 when I was struggling, you stepped up and offered support and an opportunity to honestly air the struggles I faced as a 60 year old man facing a life changing procedure. I didn't know what the future held, what to tell my children or wife about my feelings and how to deal with the huge anger and resentment that I was feeling. As someone who's job it is to talk and make people feel comfortable, you did an amazing job helping me put the jigsaw of life back together in my head. Given that we are both scalliwags from London, who don't particularly like showing vulnerability, I never properly thanked you for this. Partly, this is because I guess you didn't want thanks, but partly because when we put the monster back inder the bed, we like to pretend it isn't there.

I read your statement yesterday as I was about to visit the gym. I spent 30 minutes on the cycling machine in turmoil. When we hear such news, it reminds anyone living with the monster under the bed that it is still there. I also realised that it would only be right and proper to say something. I have no idea whether you'll read this, but if you do there are some important things I want you to know. The first is that I love you mate, and if there is anything I can do, just let me know. It may seem a strange thing to say about a bloke I've only spoken to on the phone, but it is important to realise the effect your support had on me and how appreciated it is. The second is that we never realise how dark it is getting until someone turns the light on. I thought the sun was shining and I was doing alright mentally, until yourself and other friends put the light on. Even though your no 1 battle is the physical one, make sure that you do what you need to for your mental health. 

The difficult fact is that with cancer, it is what it is. It is a thief. It steals what we love most. In my darkest moments, I was thinking very dark thoughts. Thoughts I am not proud of, but if I don't acknowledge them, I would be dishonest. I seriously thought that it might be better if I wasn't around at all. Maybe it would spare the people I loved the sight of me disintegrating in front of them. I thought about refusing treatment and having a few great months or years and then flying to Switzerland. When I finally decided to have surgery, my wife almost broke down in tears, she said she'd have supported me whatever I decided, but I had made the choice that gave her the best chance of lumbering herself with me for the foreseeable future. That was probably the moment the light really came on. From there, once I had a plan, the job was easier, just stick with it. 

Your message says that you are now on chemo and are in the plan. I hope you are in the phase of sticking with it. It ain't easy. Far more so for you on chemo, than me with surgery. With that it was a massive discomfort for six weeks and then more or less back to normal. I don't know what the treatment plan is. What I do know is that it will be a bumpy journey. You have a fantastic wife and two amazing kids. You have a reason. Anyone with a reason is lucky. I am sure that chatting to people like me on your show in a few weeks or months, is the last thing you want to think of right now, but myself and hundreds of thousands of people in London are crossing our fingers and praying for the day you come back and start insulting us again!

In a perfect world, in three years time, we'll be rapping on your show, talking about how we both have put the monster back under the bed. In the meantime hang in there. Do what you need to do. God put you here to do great things. You have done, I genuinely believe that there is more to come. The best things in life ain't easy, but we persevere. We get through. It won't be pretty, it won't be fun, but just as the darkness of night, follows the sunniest day, so the Sun rises again. 

Give me love to Lisa and the boys. In some ways, it's harder for them. You know what the coup is and what you have to do. My mum had cancer when I was eight and it was awful. She was told she had 3 years maximim in 1970. She died in 2008. What her amazing surgeon, Mr Phillip King learned through her treatment changed many things in how such cancers are treated.  He'd wheel her out at seminars and explain to other surgeons how they could improve survival rates. He told her "Don't despair, you live in the best era to get cancer, we can cure things now that even ten years ago were terminal". The same is true today, only a thousand times over. Give them boys a big hug and make sure they know you love them. And make sure Lisa knows how much you appreciate her. I am sure she knows you love her, but appreciation is different. 

I probably won't be this nice to you again, that's not how we swing, but right now I just wanted to let you know that all of us in the Tichborne household are on your side mate. 

Take care and get better.

Rog T

Rog T's Cancer Blog - What the Doctor tells you Vs what you actually hear!

 So in the last episode of this sorry saga, I detailed how the anticipation of test results was possibly the worst aspect of your cancer Journey. I wrote that under the assumption that I'd have another encouraging result from my forthcoming PSA test. On Thursday I received this message.

Dear Mr Tichborne,

Your PSA has risen to 0.04 from 0.01. Please let us know if you have any symptoms of concern though it looks from your letters that you will be having follow up with your private urologist.

Best wishes

***** Medical Practice

I was a tad shocked to see this. It was not what I was expecting and most certainly not what I wanted to hear.  I contacted my consultant, who replied

Mr Tichborne

Yes, we are due to discuss this next Monday, but your PSA remains well within the acceptable range of 0-0.2 ng/ml.

Best wishes

So where I'd been expecting a brisk two minutes, I realised it would be more nuanced (shall we say). On Monday, with a mild sense of dread, I joined the call ( consults are done on line these days for such follow ups). And so it transpired. Professor Eden explained that there a number of reasons that such a result can occur, and a recurrance of the cancer is not the most likely. However, it is a change and recommed that we increase the frequency of my follow up PSA tests from eveyr 6 months to every three months and chat again in June. He explained the more likely scenarios in some detail. Briefly some vessels can regenerate or partially regenerate, leading to a non cancer related PSA increase. But of course, it could also be cancer. It is at a very early stage if it is and whatever happens, there is no reason to panic.

Rather annoyingly, it coincided with one of my three non drinking days of the week. Of course Professer Eden is right. There is no reason to be concerned right now. It is afifth of the level where it is an issue. But.....

This journey has gone on for me since November 2011. I had hoped that surgery would have addressed the issue. Maybe it has, but I am now back in the swirling whirlpool of uncertainty. PSA tests every threee months, after a rise, means more anxiety. I will approach the next test, knowing that it has sharply increased, albeit to nowhere near a level of concern. I had been in a good frame of mind and now I am not. Much as I'd love to get off this particular carousel, it is not an option. I just have to wait and see. It occurred to me that Professor Eden's message of "don't panic" dropped the word "don't" as me brain processed it. There is absolutely nothing I can do except wait. In May, I'll have my next test. I can't say I'm looking forward to it. But.......

There is one aspect that, although it doesn't really make me feel full of joy right now, is worth noting. Just suppose that the worst case scenario is occurring. I know about it and it can be dealt with relatively early. Should that happen, I am sure it will not be pleasant, but I will still be in a better position than I would have been, if I'd not been diagnosed in 2011 and had the two rounds of treatment I've had.

So to sum up, I've been re-assurred by one of the best prostate cancer surgeons on the planet that there is nothing to worry about right now. Since then, all I have done is worried

If you're a bloke of a certain age and you haven't get yourself tested, especially if you are in a high risk category.

.

Rog T's cancer blog - The awful truth that you probably don't want to hear

 It's coming up to that time again. Tomorrow I go for my six monthly PSA test. It has been 2.5 years since my radical prostatectomy and all of the tests have been clear since then. Most of the time I don't think about cancer returning, but between now and when I get the result, it will loom large in my thoughts. I have spoken to plenty of other people who have been through a brush with cancer and have come through the other side and they all tell you that this is a very unpleasant period. I have no idea if I will ever not need PSA tests. At the moment I have one every six months. I'd gladly never have another one, but I don't want the b****rd disease to get me so if this is the price, then so be it.

I realised recently that there are four stages of having cancer, each has its challenges, The stage where you blissfully don't know you've got it. The stage where you are told you have it, but you know you have it, but are waiting to see what happens next. The stage where they are treating it or you are recovering from treatment and the stage where you are told that you are as OK as they can ever tell you. If I am still clear in August, I will move to the fourth stage, if tomorrow or August's test brings bad news, I will be back to stage two or three. For me, the waiting and seeing lasted from 2011 to 2015 and again from 2016 to 2024. It was easy to get lulled into a false sense of security. When the PSA starts going up again for prostate cancer sufferers, it is truly awful. When we await the result, it is like peaking into the windows of Hell.

I don't deal with this period particularly well. I am very snappy. I snapped at my wife for no real reason a couple of times today. Something I rarely do. I couldn't really understand why, until I started to write this blog. In truth I just want it all out of the way. The awful truth for anyone who has 'had a brush with cancer' is that this s**t will be a part of your life from now on. Maybe I am just weak and stupid and don't cope with such things very well, but its a quarter past eight in the evening and all I want to do is go to sleep and pretend it isn't happening. 

And the silly thing is that there is almost certainly nothing wrong with me. You may wonder why I am sharing this today. Well I was having a chat with a mate a week or so ago, who was going through a similar thing and I realised that on this horrible roller coaster ride at the worlds worst theme park, cancer valley, there are many nuanced ways in which you suffer. For me, cancer has become more of a mental health issue than a physical one. I am not afriad to say that and if you are feeling stressed, you are not alone.

And if you are just a bit curious, here is a little song and video I made about my experience having a prostatectomy. For 50 weeks of the year, I am fine. That is the upside, but until I get my test results, I am feeling rather anxious. 

2025 - The year review in blogs

As is the tradition, at this time of year, I take a look back at the best blogs of the year. First a few numbers. This year, I posted 303 blogs, which is slightly more than the past three years. I was actually surprised when I checked this, as I felt I'd been less busy. The blog had a huge number of hits

As to the most read individual blogs, according to Google stats. Annoyingly. Google no longer lists the published date. These stats are slightly misleading, as they do not show blogs that are accessed by a general view of the blog, or by a search on a tag, but these are the ten most shared and revisited blogs for 2025

The Edgware Railway Hotel – Time for Action - A guest blog by Mark Amies

Posted by Rog T

2.53K

Friday Fun & local music round up

Posted by Rog T

1.34K

The Saturday List #495 - Ten amazing sights and sounds that will never happen again

Posted by Rog T

1.27K

Does the human race have a death wish?

Posted by Rog T

1.26K

The Saturday List #495 - Five random things I like, that no one got me for my birthday this year

Posted by Rog T

944

Rog T's Dyslexia Blog - Who says that your school years are the best years of your life -

 part 2Posted by Rog T

767

How to ruin a radio station - What are the BBC doing to BBC Radio London?

Posted by Rog T

682

The state of BBC Radio London sums up the state of the world as they lose a third of listeners in 2022

Posted by Rog T

631

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but......

Posted by Rog T                                                      623

Announcement: Station Road, Edgware to be renamed

Posted by Rog T

And finally, my favourites, month by month

January

I always start the year like this. 

• 2025 - My predictions and resolutions!  

So how did I get on?

Politics - Brilliant 10/10

Donald Trump will not end the Ukraine war on day one of his presidency as promised. Spot on 10/10

Keir Starmer will raise taxes on businesses by even more in the next budget, as well as nicking more cash off pensioners. Spot on 10/10

Nigel Farage will continue to be the bloke most invited onto #BBCQT whilst claiming that the 'mainstream media' gives him a hard time. Spot on 10/10

Sir Sadiq Khan will continue to annoy people of the right and will raise tube fares again for ordinary Londoners. Spot on 10/10

Sport Not so hot 3/10 Mind you, you can always rely on Arsenal!

Manchester United will not finish the year with their current manager - Wrong 0/10

Manchester City will win their case with the Premier League - Who thought it would still be unresolved 0/10

Arsenal will win nothing Spot on 10/10

The Weather - Spot on 10/10

Winter will be cold and miserable and at the end of it, we'll be told it's the hottest winter on record. Spot on 10/10

Summer will be wet and miserable and at the end of it, we'll be told it's the hottest summer on record.Spot on 10/10

---

My new years resolutions - 7/10 not bad

1. To lose 14kg by April Nearly -  I lost 10kg - 7/10 

2. To get back running on the treadmill by April - Nearly I was on it in July 7/10

3. To release a new album by The False Dots in November - It was recorded, but we delayed it until 2026 as we wrote three new tracks that we wanted to include 7/10

However, this wasn't my favourite blog in January, this was

London Symphonies - Ghosts of North London's music pubs

A look at some of my favourite pub venues to play, which have closed. Very much a personal favourite of mine.

February

In February, I had another episode of my London Symphonies series. A subject very close to my heart...

London Symphonies - "And on the eighth day God created pie and mash"

March

My selection from March is a very personal and nostalgic one for me.

The Saturday List #474 - My Mum and Dad's top ten 1970's TV shows!

April

In April, we had a great guest blog from Chris The Mill Hillian. A superb slice of hyper local history. This is very much the sort of thing I love

The history of Fanning Builders in Mill Hill. A guest blog by Chris The Millhillian

May

I often re-read this blog when I am feeling down. When I write blogs like this I get in a mental zone I rarely explore. Re-reading it takes me there. It is a good place in my head.

The Saturday List #484 - My top ten tips for happiness

June

This one was quite a hard read for me. I had a very strange experience and it sort of confirmed to me that I probably suffered a bit of PTSD when my Mum was being treated for cancer in 1970. I've often thought about it, but this really crystalised what I've felt for a long time. I think it is good to confront such things, if we are strong enough

London Symphonies - Entering the gates of hell through St Johns Wood!

July

In July, I wrote what I think is an excellent episode in the Rock and Roll Stories series. It details my approaach to songwriting through the decades. 

Rock and Roll Stories #40 - Songwriting through the decades

August

A bit of nostalgia made me smile from the August selection. A reminder of happier, more innocent times. I don't recommend children to play on the M1, but I wouldn 't have missed this.

Growing up in the 1960's - The joys of playing on the M1 as a kid

September

The choice for September is a reflection on phobias and dreams and what it all means.

I asked for a kiss, you gave me a box of snakes!

October

I rather like this blog. One of my tips for resetting your mood.

When all else fails, there's pineapple chunks with custard

November

Just in case you thought we'd given up completely on sticking up for Barnet's residents, had to pick this one. We exposed a council cock up. We saved Barnet Council from a potentially expensive lawsuit. Did we get any thanks from the administration? Did we f.... Barnet still needs its bloggers! Sadly Both John Dix AKA Mr Reasonable and Theresa Musgrove AKA Mrs Angry have only managed one each. Derek DIshman AKA Mr Mustard has published a fair number, mostly about parking. The useless adminstration in Barnet needs scrutiny. Sadly, there is far too little. Of course being a blogger is an unpaid role, I am not criticiising other people, who have done enough to warrant an OBE IMHO in the past, but bloggers are needed.

The Barnet Eye saves council tax payers from yet another expensive legal cock up over Church Farmhouse Museum

December

And finally.....

I actually think yesterdays blog is an absolute cracker. Cancer is an important subject for me

Rog T's Cancer blog - What matters in life and why it might just save yours!

Strangely, or perhaps not, none of my personal favourites were in the most read list. I was pleased that my April fool blog made the top ten! Since lockdown, I've changed the style of what I write. I have realised I am not as angry and vitriolic as I was. That is a good thing. It is also a good thing that people are still taking an interest. When I started the Barnet Eye in 2008, I never imagined it would still be going in 2025 or would have had over 7 million views.

I'll leave you with a song. It's new years day, so there is only one thing I could possibly play! We all love a party

Rog T's Cancer blog - What matters in life and why it might just save yours!

Are you sitting comfortably, you might not be by the end of this blog, but I genuinely believe that blokes need to talk about these things. I was listening to BBC Radio London this morning. A guest on the morning show was saying she'd directly saved four lives through her work raising breast cancer awareness. That is a great thing and I am proud to say that this series of blogs has saved the lives of six people, who have taken the trouble to get in touch and tell me that it inspired them to get checked out, and the checks uncovered symptoms that required treatment. They will not be joining the 12,000 men a year killed by prostate cancer, making it the second biggest killer. I've been saving sharing this story until now, but at The False Dots gig at the Dublin Castle on the 21st, a stranger came up to me, introduced himself and his wife. They were from up North. They had come down specially to see The False Dots. Why, eight years ago, he'd read my blog, had a PSA test and found he had prostate cancer. It hadn't spread, but he had to have it removed. The Doctors told him that it had been caught just in time. They thought they'd 'got it all' but weren't sure. After five years, with a zero PSA reading, he was declared clear. They fancied a shopping trip in London and decided to watch the band and say thank you. He then said "Can I buy you a pint, I can't really ever repay you, but its the least I can do". He then said "It was great seeing you up onsateg doing your music, life goes on, doesn't it?".

We had a pint, discussed football, music and life for ten minutes. Although we only spoke for ten minutes, he felt like a brother. Just before he left, he went to the loo, his wife turned to me and said "You don't know what it means to me that he read your blog and had that test, the thought he wouldn't have seen his Grandaughter is too horrible to contemplate". She then said that he was doing a lot of work in his home town with a Prostate group and often pointed people at my blog. When he left, we gave each other a hug and wished each other luck. 

Eight years he's been clear. Dull and boring. Not words that will excite you, set your heart racing or make you lie back with a cup of tea and think "Thank you Lord" (or other expressions of gratefulness as appropriate as to your beliefs). However, when you have had surgery for cancer and you are having your annual review, the the duller and more boring it is, the better.  In August 2023, I had surgery to remove a cancerous prostate. At the time, I felt like my world was ending. The side effects of my operation are infertility (100% guaranteed as the seminal vessels are removed), incontinence (maybe for about 50% of  men in the first six months, dropping to 10-15% after a couple of years) and erectile dysfunction (50-60% of men). I had nerve sparing techniques that markedly improve the outcomes with regards to contenince and erectile function. These technioques were only available if you went private at the time, although I believe that NHS trials are now underway. I found the prospect daunting. My outcome was pretty good. I am continent, I was almost immediately,  and have a degree of sexual function, which is markedly improved with cialis. I have days when the cup is half empty and days when the cup is half full.

It took me a week to fully process this meeting. We'd just finished our gig and I was buzzing. I was elated to hear his story. I never really think of myself as one of the good guys, but for a moment, I felt that God had put me here for a purpose and I was living up to his plan. I don't want to come over all religious, but it is the only way I can describe that feeling. The guy wasn't slushy or sentimental. He was a proper bloke, who  just felt saying thank you was important. But afterwards, in a sober, quiet moment, I realised that it wasn't meeting him that really made an impression. It was his wife's words "the thought he wouldn't have seen his Grandaughter is too horrible to contemplate". When people have said to me "I can't bear the idea of not being a whole man", I've always struggled to find the words to give a serious response, which might persuade someone that it will be OK. She didn't have to say anything, but in one sentence she cut through all of the waffle, bullshit and everything else. For that I will be eternally grateful. His Grandaughter is two. I never knew any of my Grandparents. I always felt robbed and a tad resentful. All of my siblings were born before my maternal grandmother passed away. They all have memories and would talk in hallowed terms of 'Nana'. There is a little two year old girl, who will know her Grandad, because eight years ago he read my Cancer blog and got a PSA test.

We don't always realise our value and worth to those we love. Life isn't perfect, we are not perfect, but when we go, we leave a massive hole in the lives of people we love. A hole that cannot be filled because each of us is unique. So if you are over 50 and especially if you are deemed at risk (close blood relatives have had prostate cancer), please consider a PSA test. It ain't perfect, but six people have read my blog and caught the bastard disease before it spread, so it is not a waste of time. Just consider, in sixty odd years time, when I am long gone, a lady may just be telling her grandkids tales of how she spent time with her lovely grandad and how much she loved him. Why? Because he had a PSA test. 

It's not been fun for me. But that short chat on the 21st made me realise that the cup isn not half full, it is overflowing, but with a very different brew to the one I thought I ordered at the bar. 

Here's a little ditty I wrote about the subject!

Rog T's Cancer Blog & Wellbeing Wednesday - Going in the right direction

 Back in February I outlined the challenges I had last year and my health targets for this year. Following my cancer surgery in August 2023, I had a follow up PSA test last week, so I thought now was an excellent time to give a round up. As mentioned in the February blog, a check up in November showed a few things that were not right. One of these was a raised thyroid level, as well as high cholesterol and an increase in my blood sugar, moving me firmly into the pre diabetic scale.

I responded to this by bringing in a pretty strict fitness regime. I've been doing an 18 hour fast 2-4 days a week. I've also cut out a lot of snacks etc from my diet. I don't drink 3-4 days a week (something I've been doing for a couple of years, but I've stuck to it more religiously).  I also set myself a target of doing 1,500km in the gym on the bike, rowing machine and treadmill. I also set my target weight as 14'7 by the end of the year. 

So where am I. Well lets start with the best news. My PSA is < 0.0, which means I can sleep easy for six months. I've been managing to go to the gym  4 times a week. I've already met my 1,500km target and I'm hoping to do 2,500km by the end of the year. I am back on the treadmill (just) although I am walking at incline rather than running at the moment. I am building up to that. My thyroid level has returned to normal. I read that if you are on Omnprazol, you should increase your selenium levels. I've been eating brazil nuts and this seems to have worked. As for the cholesterol and glucose levels? Well the surgery didn't do the tests, so I don't actually know. I asked for them, but that didn't happen. 

My weight is down to 15'12. As I predicted, the first stone and a half is easy to lose, then it gets hard. I've only lost 1lb since June, but that is still progress. My BMI is no longer obese. I am on the high end of fat. I must add that this is all without the help of any weight loss drugs. 

Mentally, I am in a reasonably good place. I seem to have a couple of days a month where I struggle a bit to motivate myself. Being in a band and making music helps. 

Anyway, that is all. Having had two days fasting and not drinking, today is a day off!

Rock and Roll Stories #32 - The False Dots LIve at The Bald Faced Stag video emerges after 41 years!

 "Are you Rog?". I replied Yep.

"Did you used to play in a band called The False Dots?". I replued "Yep I stll do"

"Did you put something up about video of a gig at the Bald Faced Stagg in Burnt Oak and wanting to see it, on Facebook". I replied "Yep I did".

"I've got a copy. I got it on DVD do you want to see it". I replied "I'd love to".

And so it was that for the first time ever, yesterday,  I saw the video of The False Dots gig at the Bald Faced Stag, on the 30th June 1984. Our singer at the time was the rather amazing Venessa Sagoe. The line up was in blistering form and it was the fourth gig in a residency at The Bald Faced Stag, and a few days before we played a "Big Gig" at The Pindar of Wakefield in Kings Cross (now The Water Rats). The Bald Faced Stag in Burnt Oak was one of Barnet's most notorious pubs. Most of the hoodlums in Burnt Oak used it as their watering hole. Half of them had worked for my Dad at MacMetals. The guvenor liked us and paid us well for playing. At the previous gig, a chap called Tony Byrne, from Colindale CND approached us and asked if we'd like to make the next gig a benefit for CND. In return, he said he'd make a video of the event. These days everyone can make videos with their phones, back then, it was a massive thing. The idea of a whole gig being videod was really exciting. 

My only concern was that the guvenor of the pub at the time was ex Army. How would he react to a CND benefit in his pub? He was delighted, as he knew that the pub would be busy. We got our mates, in a rythme and blues band called No Biscuits to support us. They were pretty full on and we knew it would be a good night. We played a great set and got a good reception. It was like a home fixture for us. After the gig, I rang Tony to get hold of a copy of the video. He was very cagey. Something had gone wrong and he'd missed half of the set. He was highly embarrassed. We never got to see it. Until yesterday. 

What was even more annoying was that Tony showed it to the local paper to get some press for his cause. Even more annoying was the fact that the video editor had incorrectly labelled the band "The Full Stops" on the video, according to the press report. After a couple of weeks of nagging I gave up. By the end of the summer, that iteration of The False Dots had split up. Venessa had joined another band, I was in hospital in aserious poor health, following a burst stomach ulcer. I had split up with my partner and things couldn't be more miserable. I had no interest in seeing the video. It had been fun whilst it lasted, but in bands, you look forward, not backwards. And so the video got forgotten. When you are twenty one years old, you do stuff and move on. But when you are sixty two, you take a different view. I was looking through my bands scrapbook and saw this article and wondered. Did the video still exist? So I put a post up on Facebook and Veg, the drummer of No Biscuits got in touch.

So after all those years, what is it like? Well here is a snippet. This is Action shock, which is the only song from that era that we do. 

The first thing that struck me was that that sound quality is excellent for a video of that era. I assume that the video maker took a live feed from the PA desk. The band also sounded excellent to my ears. Venessa was an exceptional singer and you really can hear that. Perhaps the most interesting thing for me, and it was somewhat emotional at times, was seeing all of our friends. Some, such as our bassplayer Paul Hircombe, have sadly passed away. Some, such as Venessa, keyboard player Chris Potts and drummer Adam Francis, I've not seen since that era. There are all manner of interesting faces in the audience, many of whom I knew casuaully and have no idea what they are doing now. I am sure Burnt Oak residents will see plenty of faces they know!

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this is that the band is still going. It has changed and developed over the years. The year after this video was made, our current drummer Graham Ramsey joined the band. Bassist Paul Hircombe was a member until 2009, when he moved to Portsmouth, passing away from cancer three years later. Paul was replaced on bass guitar by Fil Ross, who had originally joined in 2000 on guitar and vocals. Of the songs in the set, we did several covers. There were also songs that I had no recollection of. Venessa should have been a massive star. I watched the whol 45 minutes and she didn't miss a note or a cue. She was a fantastic singer.

But things move on. The song I chose to feature (and I will post a couple more) was Action Shock. I've told the story of the song before. It has become a very important song in the False Dots set and until recently was always the song we closed the set with. It wouldn't have even seen the light of day, had it not been for Venessa. As I recounted in the blog

Like most of the lyrics and poems I write, it then got stuck in my shoebox, put in the sock draw and left. In 1983, Vanessa Sagoe, joined the band. She asked to see any lyrics I had. She loved the song. She asked if I had any music for it. Myself and Paul Hircombe then composed a very basic two chord pattern. We played it and Vanessa simply took the song and that was that. We never bothered to develop it any further musically, because Vanessa's delivery was so powerful.

And so to 2025, forty one years after this video was made. What has changed? Well as I mentioned, too many friends are no longer with us. The Bald Faced Stag has also been knocked down. Burnt Oak, which was once the home of numerous pubs, only has a small Irish bar for the local boozers. The only place left for a band like The False Dots to do a gig is the Burnt Oak Services club. Even the Bus numbers changed from Burnt Oak, with the 114 replacing the 140 and the 302 replacing the 52. Many landmarks, which seemed timeless have gone. Edgware General hospital is no more, with a sort of downgraded hospital with no A&E in its place. The mighty Coop department store has also long gone. The Tesco's next door, the banks have departed. The Market shut its doors and the Betta Cafe is no more. My nephew watched the video and noted that everyone is smoking inside. Our keyboard player performs the whole gig with a ciggie in his mouth. If you want to know what the Bald Faced Stag was like in 1984, I doubt that there will be another video of it. It occurs to me that this video is actually a really precious piece of local history, a window into a lost world. 

I was chatting with a mate in the Services club last night. He is a successful businessman and he asked me what I'd got out of being in the band.The great things I've got are too many to list. I met my wife at a gig, many of my best mates are musicians I've met through the band, I've had an absolute blast and occasionally a gem like this turns up, that blows my mind! He then said "No, do you actually earn any money out of the band?". In truth, no. These days, if we cover our bar bill, petrol and have enough to buy a kebab on the way home, it is a good night financially. When we recorded this video we actually got paid decent money for gigs.  We'd get paid £250 for a gig at the Stag and we'd get free beer and a plate of sandwiches. Within a couple of years, it became almost impossible for a band playing original material to get a paid gig in London. When I wrote the chorus of Action Shock "Life, Mine's not for sale" I didn't realise how true those words would ring.

Anyway, just for your fun, here is a live version of Action Shock that our current line up made at London Talent Week last December. It's a rather different version. I'd love to hear Venessa sing it with us one day. Who knows, I never thought I'd see this video, life turns up funny things!

See the band peform Action Shock live at The Dublin Castle on Sunday 25th May

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Rog T's food blog - Navigating the risk of Ultra Processed Foods

There was a fascinating article on the BBC yesterday, detailing how ultra processed foods are shortening our lives. I found it quite shocking and disturbing. Before we proceed, below is a list of foods. Which do you think are healthy and which do youthink are deemed 'ultra processed' and may shorten your life?

cakes, pastries and biscuits
crisps
supermarket bread
sausages, burgers, hot dogs
instant soups, noodles and desserts
chicken nuggets
fish fingers
fruit yoghurts

fruit drinks
margarines and spreads
baby formula

It may surprise you, it certainly surprised me to learn that all are 'ultra processed'. Clearly cakes and sausages were not really a surprise, but yoghurts, fruit drinks and fish fingers did surprise me. It almost made me laugh, my good lady has moaned at me for years to eat fish fingers instead of bacon sarnies. Seems like I needn't have bothered.

So which of these do I eat on a regular basis? I don't have a sweet tooth, but crisps, sausages, fish fingers and  supermarket bread are all part of my shopping basket. Now I actually believe that the odd cake or fish finger as a treat is no problem (once a week?) but I had got into the habit of having a bag of crisps with my salad most days. The report states that in the UK, there are around 18,000 premature deaths a year.

I believe that healthy eating is all about balance. I've learned that freshly prepared food tastes better than the stuff you buy in plastic pots and warm up. The more fresh food you eat, the better. If you buy loose veg, they are cheaper and I find them tastier. I am lucky, I have the time these days. When I had a job that involved almost daily travel, it was hard. Food was all too often a full english at the hotel, a canned drink and a sandwich for lunch and a pint and a bag of crisps for dinner. Maybe firms should have healthy eating policies for staff that travel. I love food, so the full english buffet was hard to resist, especially as it was free. It is perhaps no coincidence that this period of my life coincided with developing prostate cancer.

I was well paid and it suited me, but I believe I paid a price for the lifestyle. We all think we are invincible until show otherwise. We often only realise the lesson to be learned when it is too late. And for the record. My lunch today? A freshly prepared salad with sardines, a banana and an orange.

The Saturday List #467 My list of blogs of the year by month and a big blog announcement

OK, so we'll start with some news, a big announcement, I hope you'll like it! We have got rid of adverts from the blog, so no annoying pop ups or disruptions. I will be writing a full explanation etc, in January, but for now, please enjoy the blog without all of the annoyance. 

It's that time of year, where we do the yearly blog housekeeping. Yesterday was the music of the year. Today it is my review of years blogs by month. Each month, I pick my favourite blog. I rarely look back at the past blogs I've written, and it is only when I do this, that I get a true perspective of the year. 

Before we start, here are a few stats for those of you, who like me, like a good stat. Of course this will change slightly, but you get the idea. 

This year, I published 283 blogs, slightly up from the 275 last year. It is the third fewest of any year. 2008 was the lowest, because we started the blog in October, so only managed 88! 2012 was the busiest, with 784! God knows how I managed that. January and August (20) had least blogs and this month, the most (28).  Both of those were holiday months for me, hence the slackness. Blogger has recorded that I had 596K blog views, taking it to a total of 4.44 million. I suspected that this is artificially boosted by AI bots trawling my blog, but it also opens up the idea, that my blog is influencing the AI users in ways I never anticipated! They clearly see the blog as a trusted source.

Anyway, enough self indulgence. Here is the  

January

The year started with the usual new year blogs, predictions, resolutions, etc. However my favourite blog, forgive the self indulgence, was a series I launched in January. The Rock and Roll Stories series is my story of being in a band and I started with the origins

Rock and Roll stories 1 - The Birth of the False Dots in 1979

February

This was an easy one to pick. Regular readers will know of my love/hate relationship with BBC Radio London presenter Eddie Nester. He spends half his time banning me from his show and the other half genuinely being concerned for me, especially when I had my turn with prostate cancer. For my part, I spend my life winding him up as best I can, criticising the awful music on his show and berating him for not doing anything to promote London's bands (especially the False Dots) Having said that, when the BBC finally sack him for one indescretion too many, it will be me writing to the BBC's DG telling them they are an idiot. I like Eddie. I see him as being very like me. He gobs off without thinking. On February, he did something that was exactly what I've done on many occasions. He dropped himself in it with the missus, announcing a 'family issue' to London before he told the lovely Mrs Nestor. I suspect that his wife is very similar to mine in some ways. I think she probably thinks that Eddie is the biggest idiot she's ever met, but recognises that he has some qualities that make her forgive him none the less. Read on.... (Happy New Year Eddie!)

Empathy for Eddie Nestors car crash radio show on BBC Radio London

March

For me, one of the most important blogs I've written. How do react when you learn that someone you respect and care about absolutely hates your guts? I had about four attempts writing this, before I got it right. Just re-reading it is quite stark, but it got something very serious off my chest. What was interesting is a couple of friends read it and thought it was about someone completely different. Ho hum! 

What do you do when you find out someone you like, respect and admire hates your guts?

April

When I looked through the list for April, my jaw dropped when I saw the title of the first blog of the month? Had I lost my marbles. It was only when I saw the date, I realised it was my April fool blog. I can't possibly pick that one, but hell man, I fooled myself! 

The blog Ive picked was a bit of a mea culpa. Years ago, I'd set up a share portfolio. One of the best shares was a water company. Turns out, they are pumping sewage into our rivers and streams and that is why I was getting fat dividend cheques. I really should have known years ago. Anyway, I sold the shares and wrote this blog

The Barnet Eye: Why everyone should sell their United Utilities shares today 

May

Much of May's blogs were about politics, with the Mayoral election. I hindsight, now they look rather dull. This was the first month that a blog didn't really instantly stand out. However with a bit of delving I  chose this one, detailing how music probably saved my life. It certainly put meaning into it. 

This statement is almost certainly true

"I've often wondered what I would do if I hadn't started playing in a band. I cannot envisage a different life to the one I've got. I suspect there would have been a lot more drinking, a lot more drugs and a lot more self destructive risk taking. I suspect I'd have passed away long ago, of boredom, if nothing else." 

Music may just save your life!

June

With the general election looming, again it was a bit of a sparse month for interesting blogs to reprise, but this Saturday list is a good one. It gave me a smile looking back at it

The Saturday List #446 - My ten mantra's that get me through life

July

In July, there were a few blogs. I've chosen one of my London Symphonies series, From Handel to Hendrix, as it is certainly the most interesting. I sadly realised that I have failed to meet my ambition to post at least six episodes. This is the sole contribution. I've managed eight in two years, but then again, for this series, quality is the key and I think they are all excellent stories. 

London Symphonies - From Handel to Hendrix

August

My entry for August is one that I simply had to write, I had no joy in writing it. In light of the anti asylum seeker riots, I felt I had to say my piece about patriotism. Re-reading the blog, I am pleased with what I said and stand by it. I started writing blogs to try and make people think and to look beyond the fences that their mind has erected. I am a believer in the intrinsic good in people and I think that most people who might succumb to fascisim are decent people who just fall for a bunch of hor$e$h1t that dodgy people peddle for their own enrichment. Whatever you may or may not think about Hitler and the Nazi's, one thing you cannot deny is they used their conquest of Europe to line their pockets, loot the art calleries etc of countries they invaded and to rape and pillage everywhere. Whatever you may think of democracies, after WW2, we didn't do that to Germany and Japan. 

What is patriotism?

September

Perhaps the blog that got the biggest email response was about Danny Coughlan, former Headmaster of Challoner school in Finchley and FCHS lower school. The man was a monster. Sadly, my mailbox revealed that I wasn't the only person who felt this way.

Holding to account Danny Coughlan, former Head of the Lower School at Finchley Catholic High School

October

In October, I wrote a piece about tinnitus, something that has plagued me for 40 odd years. Not a very exciting blog, but another that got an interesting email response. I wish more people would share their insights in comments, but hey ho, at least they are reading the blogs

Tinnitus and how we all need a quiet place sometimes 

I must add that the tinnitus is all my own fault.  I love punk rock and at the start of the month, I detailed this. Ironic really that by the middle of the month, the tinnitus was driving me mad. At this time of the year, this is at the forefront of my mind. When I cook Xmas dinner, I do so to a Punk rock soundtrack. The same every year. This is what I played as I got the Turkey ready, the full album (actually this year I swapped the Clash 1st album for Combat Rock)

The Vibrators - Puremania

The Heartbreakers - LAMF

MC5 -Kick Out The Jams

The Clash - Combat Rock

The Buzzcocks - Another music in a different kitchen

The Ramones -  Leave Home

The New York Dolls  Too much too soon

The Specials - Too much too young

If Punk Rock is dead, how come we are all still making a racket?

I suppose all love has a price! These two blogs are the two sides of the coin, sadly.

November

In November, I discussed how important it is to get your head in the right place. I passionately believe that if we all got our heads straight, most of the problems on the planet would simply disappear. I see the likes of Donald Trump, Elon Musk, Vladimir Putin etc and I wonder what they think about in their quiet moments. Do they ever simply slap the Ramones on the turntable and bop around the table for the sake of it, celebrating life. My image of them, and I am probably wrong, is that they are so wrapped up in wanting control, that they simply couldn't. I once spoke to a a female psychologist, who had done a lot of work with rapists. She told me that most men who rape women do not do it for sexual gratification, they do it as they enjoy control. Most find it difficult to relax as their need for domination and control prevents them from switching off. It got me thinking, maybe being powerful is not all it's cracked up to be. 

You can't sort your work life balance out until you get your head in the right place

December

And here we are. I thought I'd finish on a positive, personal note. The latest installment in my cancer journey. 2023 was a year when cancer cast a shadow over my life. This year it hasn't and any blogs have, thankfully, been on my terms. 

The Barnet Eye: Rog T Cancer Blog - Latest update and spreading the message about #Prostatecancerawareness

I think you will see a different feel to this years list, from last years. 

I'll leave it with my fave picture from the blog of 2024 - From the blog What were you doing 45 years ago today....