Sunday, 10 January 2021

The Tweets of the week in the London Borough of Barnet - 10/1/2021

It has been a hard week for us citizens of the Borough of Barnet. A new lockdown, freezing cold weather, atrocious happenings in the USA, inspired by a discredited President who has shown that he cares for nothing but his own vanity. For me the situation was rammed home to learn that my beloved cousin Tessie, who is six months younger than me, has covid and is in intensive care in the Royal Free. This is not one of my tweet picks, but I am overwhelmed by the kindness of all those of you who responded both privately and publicly to this tweet. I just wanted to say thank you before I started with the selection this week


And so on to our selection. Despite the gloom, there have been some rather nice tweets. Thanks to all of you who work so hard to keep our spirits up by posting such great Tweets. I hope these brighten up your Sunday. 


1. There really could only be one place to start this week. Mark Amies, on his @time_NW account, has published some amazing clips taken from the iconic series Budgie, filmed in Mill Hill. It was great to see footage of the Broadway. I remember seeing this being filmed as I returned from St Vincents school as an 8 year old. It was very exciting. I loved seeing the front of the New China Garden restaurant, which I loved as a kid. This morphed into The Moon House, then Hee's takeaway, and is now a (closed) spa


2. A double dose from two of our best loved local accounts. A nice pic from our unofficial local nature corresepondent Samuel Levy and some great pre murmation action in Burnt Oak from Donald Lyven. Nice work chaps!


3.  Barnet has a new blogger, who tells how he got into music.


4. These guys do great work. If you have anything to spare, please consider a donation. My wifes mothers best friend was cared for by them in her final days and I cannot praise them highly enough


5. An interesting tweet from the the Mill Hill historical society. A rather interesting gravestond in St Mary's cemetery


6. Some nice tweets from Eva Cohen, taken on High St Mill Hill, outside the former Cook's store


7. It is only right and proper that we mourn the passing of Dame Barbara Windsor, long time resident of the Borough and a hero to us all, buried in Golders Green. An icon. RIP Barbara


8. Some nice pictures of a rather picturesque looking Mill Hill in the winter sunshine, from our friends at A Better Mill Hill


9. You can see what is possibly Londons oldest tree in Totterige. Thanks to @Kekhmet


10. We like this. Contrasting views from Victoria Park, from the rather marvellous Barnet Society



Please have a safe, peaceful and fulfilling week. 

No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:

Saturday, 9 January 2021

The Saturday list #291 - My tenuous links to serial killers, murderers and other dodgy criminals

 Have you been watching the rather good series The Serpent on the BBC? As I watched it, I was realised that I was familiar with the story. My former business partner, sadly deceased, Ernie Ferebee used to drive buses overland from London to India in the 1970's for a company called Budget Bus. I also worked for the company owner, Emil Bryden. I remembered one of them telling me the story of their dealings with Charles Sobhraj. With my interest peaked, I rang Emil who now lives in Norfolk to ask to refresh me on the details. As he told the fascinating story, I realised that this wasn't the only obscure connection I had to the world of rather bad people. So here's the list.


1. Charles Sobhraj. My former boss, Emil owned Budget Bus. One of his buses did a trip up to Nepal. This was the bus that had the two unfortunate back packers who were murdered by Sobhraj and who he is currently in jail for killing. The driver had the unfortunate experience of having to identify the bodies and then report back to Emil to contact the families. By a rather unfortunate coincidence, the same driver overstayed his visa later. He ended up sharing a cell for six weeks with Sobhraj. Being stuck in a cell with a serial killer terrified him and apparently he didn't sleep a wink for the whole period. I recall Ernie telling me more details, but sadly as he's no longer around, I cannot verify them. Whilst researching this blog, I came across a fascinating blog detailing some of the events around this. I got to know Emil and Ernie as they had a depot servicing the buses they used in what is now the Flower Lane industrial estate. The bus you'll see in this blog I regularly saw in Mill Hill and I used to help Emil and Ernie fix them up. 



2. Dennis Nilsen. Another serial killer, closer to home. When he was arrested and the news broke, I was shocked to learn from my cousin that he'd worked in the Maida Vale job centre with him. It was my cousins first proper job. Sadly (or perhaps fortunately) there were no dodgy stories or insights, although he did say that it was quite strange thinking a serial killer used to make you a cup of tea in the morning. Given that Nilsen used to pick up young men and murder them, I recall that we teased my cousin that he was too ugly to be murdered. I daresay he wasn't too upset at that fact.

3. Martin Clark. You probably haven't heard of this chap. He was my next door neighbour. A burly scouser, who ran a building company. To say I didn't get on with him is a mild understatement. I had a pile of bricks I'd acquired to build a barbeque. One day, I noticed that half of them had disappeared. I was mildly irritated. This became a major irritation when I noticed that they were piled, almost out view hidden behind my neighbours shed. As I perused this irritating act or petty theft, Mr Clark appeared. A full blown row ensued. He denied that he'd stolen them and said he'd acquired them elsewhere. They were quite identifiable as they had come from a chimney and were soot stained. In the end he agreed to return them, but after that our relationship was very frosty. Then he disappeared. I was quite pleased as he was a bully. He'd threatened several elderly neighbours, who he suspected of reporting him to the council for building infringements. He once accused me, but I told him that if I had a problem with him, I'd tell him to his face and that he should wind in his attitude. After he disappeared, it became clear that his house was under observation. An old dear up the road noticed a car with two people keeping an eye on the property. I told her I'd check it out with the Police. They informed me that it was part of an undercover operation and not to worry (they didn't say what). I told the old dear, who promptly brought them a tray of tea and biscuits (not good for a discrete operation). A few weeks later it became clear who they were keeping an eye on. A retired postman up the road excitedly showed me the front page of The Sun. It had Mr Clark on the front cover, described as Britians most wanted man. It stated he was a contract killer and he'd done a bunk to Spain with his solicitor. If I'd known I'd have let him have the bricks!

4. Jonathan Kern. Mr Kern was a local Edgware lad and one of Britains finest conmen. He was also a customer of my Dad's crash repair business. I may be mistaken in some of the details here, as my Father died in 1987, but Mr Kern had a lot of work done on his car and departed without paying, giving a promise. As my Dad knew his father, who I believe was a well respected local Doctor, my Dad was rather upset. Rather embarrassed, he contacted Mr Kern's father. As a decent guy, he paid for the repair, but told my father that his son was not to be trusted and if it happened again, he wouldn't pick up the bill. Mr Kern lived the life of a playboy, persuading sports car dealers to give him cars to test, claiming to be a journalist. He'd then disappear, travelling around Europe, seducing beautiful women and staying in top hotels, without ever paying the bill. Compared to the others, he's actually quite a nice bloke.

5. The Kray Brothers. This is an amusing tale (although not so much at the time).  Graham Ramsey, the drummer in the False Dots called me back in around 1988 in a state of high excitement. He wanted to book some studio time for a band he'd been asked to drum for and they'd got a record deal. I was really pleased for Graham as he's a great guy. After Grahams first rehearsal, we all went for a beer. The singer was a larger than life character who had just been released from prison after a five year stretch for armed robbery. In prison he'd got friendly with Charlie Kray. Kray had told him that his organisation had a label and they wanted him to form a band and that he'd sign them and make them famous. The Krays were well connected and it seemed like a good opportunity for Graham. A few rehearsals followed, and I even recorded a demo for the band on my port-a-studio, on the promise of payment when the money rolled in.


 Then I got a very disturbing phone call. It was the serious crime squad. I'd been given as an alibi by the singer, who'd been arrested for robbing an off license in the Green Man area of Mill Hill. I was puzzled. As I explained, he had a booking at the time. I could verify that the band had gone into the studio and left at the time, as I'd let them in and out. However I couldn't vouch for the intervening three hours, but it seemed unlikely to me that he would have been robbing an off license during a rehearsal. The officer then told me that he'd been recorded on a video camera entering the premises in a mask, robbing it with  a gun and departing. I asked how they knew it was him if he was wearing a mask? For me, a not unreasonable question. The officer replied that before he left, he'd removed his mask, looked at the camera and combed his hair. It turned out that he'd been in the rehearsal and when they'd stopped for a cigarette, he'd said he was nipping out to get some beers. Sadly, he was jailed and that was that. About six months later, Charlie Kray came down with another band. He asked if I was looking for a partner in the studio. He said he could invest some serious money and do the studio up, bringing all manner of well known artists down. Not wishing to offend him, but also not really wanting to get involved in that world, I said I'd have a think about it and call him back. We never spoke again, although I have to say I found him to be good company and an entertaining bloke. 

6. Howard Marks. Howard Marks was a 'notorious' cannabis dealer. He wrote a very entertaining autobiography called Mr Nice, that is well worth a read. Marks always claimed that he only dealt cannabis, which he believed should be legal. In around 1999, we had a phonecall at the studio from a gentleman asking if we'd be interested in selling a range of high end leather guitar straps that his company was making. When the gentleman turned up, both myself and Ernie immediately recognised him. I'd never met him before, but Ernie had come across him previously, whilst working as a driver on the overland route. They had a chat about the old days of the hippy trail and we  took a few of the straps. We never saw him again, although the straps sold quite well. It says a lot that the law enforcement agencies put far more effort into catching Marks than they ever did chasing really evil killers like Sobhraj. 

7. Sir Roger Tichborne. Until the McLibel case, my name was in the Guinness book of records as the longest running court case in English law. Sadly for my enemies, it wasn't me. It was my great grandfathers cousin. The Tichbornes are a long establish, wealthy family that owned half of Hampshire at one time. The family was noted as the fifth richest in England in the early 19th century. Sadly for me, my great, great grandfather was not the eldest, so he didn't inherit the family pile and had to go and make his way in the world. But his nephew, the heir was Sir Roger, beloved son of Lady Mabelene. Sir Roger went off to see the world and disappeared. The rumour was that he'd been on a ship that sunk in a storm. Lady Mabelene refused to believe he was dead. A reward was posted for information. A chap turned up in Australia claiming to be Sir Roger,  Thomas Castro, a butcher from Wagga Wagga. Castro/Tichborne returned to the UK and was welcomed by Lady Mabelene as her long lost son. The rest of the family claimed he was an imposter, not least because there was a huge sum of money involved. The court case dragged on for years. When Lady Mabelene died, the claimant, as he became known, lost his only supporter from the family. He ended up being found guilty of 'personation' and served fourteen years hard labour. Interestingly the descendants of the family have always refused to have a DNA test to put the matter to bed. My Dad always said he believed that the claimant was the real thing. He had nothing to gain either way. I have to laugh when I learn that my name is the biggest case of identity theft in the Uk. A film was made of the story featuring Stephen Fry, Sir John Geilgud and Anita Dobson. It was directed by David Yates. I had a small role as an extra, getting paid £68 for a days work. 

No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts: , , ,

Friday, 8 January 2021

The Friday joke - 08/01/2021

I guess that we all need a good Friday joke at the moments such as these. Today is a difficult day for all of us who love our city and care about our family and friends. There really could only be one thing that did the job. Please have a safe and chilled out weekend.



These guys run my type of company!




No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:

Thursday, 7 January 2021

Is there a future for the post covid Apocalypse London

Do you love London? If you don't, then I suggest that you don't bother with this particular blog. If however, like me, you love London with a passion, then I implore you to give some thought to the points I am going to make. My good friend Mr Mark Amies had a book published last year called London's Industrial Past. It is a fantastic book that really brings home how London changed over the period of about 50 year from being a dynamic industrial powerhouse, to a post industrial society based around services and shopping. What Mark wrote about happened over a period of about 50 years. London is about to change again, beyond recognition and that change will happen in the space of about two years. I believe that we are in year zero of the post covid world and the damage that this disease has done to the London we know and love has not even started to emerge.

Let me start by saying why I live in this City. There are several reasons, I was born and raised here. I call it home. I have a great group of friends that as with any reasonably sociable dweller in a cosmopolitan metropolis, is constantly evolving. When I left school, this was a large white north London born crowd, with English, Irish and Jewish connections in the main. Through work, music and football, this group now includes people from the four corners of the world. In normal times, a normal week might include a gig, a trip out for a meal, a couple of visits to a local pub, a trip into town to meet former work colleagues or friends at a city pub, maybe a visit to the Theatre. At the weekend, I might take in some non league football at Hadley, or if Manchester City are in town a trip to a Premiership stadium (if I am feeling very adventurous, a trip to Manchester). On a Thursday I'll play five a side at Powerleague and would have a beer with the boys after. I have many friends who work in the city of London, so at least once or twice a month I'll be meeting some for beer and a curry. Living in Mill Hill, we have a handy train service to West Hampstead, Kentish Town, Kings Cross, Farringdon and Blackfriars, so if myself and my wife are bored, we might hop on a train to any of these destinations for food/drink/both. 

If we have friends in towm, from Blackfriars, the Tate Modern, Shakespeares Globe Theatre and Borough Market are a short walk, these are great places to visit. As for music, we love The Roundhouse, The Dublin Castle and the Jazz Cafe in Camden, Ronnie Scotts in Soho and the 100 club in Oxford Street, as well as a plethora of other smaller venues. The train and tube system makes all of these accessible. For each, there is a favoured pre gig meeting place, either a pub or restaurant.

As I said, that is in normal times. All of that more or less came to a juddering halt last March. If you deconstruct all of this for the post covid world, it is quite hard to see how the jigsaw can be re-assembled. Of course the local friendship groups will survive, but I fully expect our locality to lose some of our favourite restaurants and pubs. A business simply cannot survive for months on end with the doors closed. Even if the establishment is still hanging on, many will lose valued staff, both front of house and in the kitchen. On top of covid, Brexit has meant that many European staff have simply gone home. This isn't a problem for a closed restaurant, but when establishments start to reopen, they might well have a very different work force. 

As for the friends who work in the city. I talk to most on Whatsapp regularly. None have been near an office since March. Most have settled into a pattern of working from home and many firms have realised that there are big cost savings to be made. I simply cannot see any way that the former London office culture will return. This will mean that there are empty offices and the pubs, restaurants, bars and other shops that serve them will lose a significant chunk of their customers. If this change happened gradually, then districts could adapt and re-invent themselves. Covid has meant that it has happened in the course of a year, a year where most businesses have had their doors shut. In short, it is cataclysmic for these areas of London. The suburbs, such as Mill Hill, have been less affected. There is a different dynamic. Many are actually better off, as they've not had to pay to commute or pay for lunch and after work entertainment. Property prices in such areas are actually rather bouyant. 

BBC Radio London broadcaster Robert Elms has stated that he believes London plays the long game and will reinvent itself. This is just one of those cycles of change. Does he have a point? I am sure that London will not disappear off the face of the earth. It will change. Whilst I can't see the big city offices returning in the same way, I don't personally believe that offices are dead. I've worked in many and the synergy that you can get from having working in an office of like minded people working hard, then going for a drink after, in a city pub, where problems and issues are discussed and solved, without the firm paying a penny, is one aspect that many firms bean counters have never understood. Few companies really get that. I can only think of one that really enhanced the concept. Many years ago, I worked on technology projects based on systems provided by a US company called Tandem Inc. Every Friday, Tandem would have a 'Beer Bust' in their offices, where a fridge full of beer was there to be consumed at the end of the week. If customers and clients were around, they'd be invited to join in. After the beer bust finished, people would often adjourn to the nearest drinking establishment. It now sounds very '80's, but it meant that people had a degree of loyalty to Tandem products that I've not seen for other corporate entities. 

I do see a situation where, with vacant cheap office space, small startups will recreate that sort of spirit, but it won't happen overnight. If you want to develop leading products, I strongly believe a vibrant environment enables this. Lockdown will have given a lot of creative people a great opportunity to develop ideas. I am personally hopeful that this will be an unexpected covid dividend, that will emerge over the next two years.   I also expect many of the city centre offices to be repurposed as flats. I think it is very likely that these will attract a younger and more fluid population than London currently sees. I expect property prices in central London to slump as all of these things happen, but recover as the City reinvents itself. I fully expect London in ten years time to have completely different feel to it as a result.

Sadly we will  see major pain for Londons transport system. As less people are likely to be commuting, the budget for public transport will be hit. For decades the tube has run at a profit but the bus system has made a loss. I expect the ridership on the tube to recover to some degree. Buses are always necessary for key workers and for parts of London that have no other infrastructure, but I expect to see a major scaling back of routes that are running empty. Unless there is serious financial support, this could have a drastic effect on London's recovery. What we need is for the Mayor and Central government to get together and work out exactly how they will manage this. The stated aim of both is to increase cycling, reduce car usage and move away from fossil fuels. If tube trains are running at 80% capacity even in rush hour, maybe TFL should be encouraging people to take bikes on them. I have wondered whether a purpose built carriage, with no seats when cyclists could dock bikes may work? One thing is clear,  If we simply carry on with the old methods of financing all of this, TFL will become bankrupt and London will commit a huge act of self harm. If this budget squeeze damages the amazing public transport system, London will lose a great advantage over many other cities it competes with.

Then there is the entertainment and hospitality sector. I had a chat with a friend who I meet regularly, in normal times. We would usually meet in a pub for a couple of beers, then adjourn for a curry. We visit a different district of London each time and have built up a big network of pubs and restaurants to visit. Our conversation was pretty much based around "Which of these will still be running when a degree of normality returns?". I think it is likely that many of these establishments will have simply shut up shop. Maybe new ones will open.

One thing that breaks my heart, that has been evolving over the last few years is that the traditional Bangladeshi Indian restaurants we associate with London are simply fading away. The generation of owners who opened them, when times were good, are ageing. Their children do not want to work in the industry and the visa rules prevent them from taking on staff from Bangladesh who know the culture and cuisine.  The crisis has pushed many of these to the edge, if not over the cliff. I for one will mourn the loss of the traditional curry house both in the city and the suburbs. Then there are pubs and microbreweries. These have been hit especially hard by lockdown. The pub sector has been in decline for a long time. In recent years, microbreweries have reinvigorated the sector, but the rules around lockdown have made many of these untenable propositions. I've been told that many pubs are now coming under the scrutiny of property developers. I suspect that what will happen is that many pubs will be lost for flats that no one wants anymore. The fact that a few developers will lose a lot of money will not cause me any loss of sleep, but the cost to society will be immense. 

If we look at our shops, many people have switched to online shopping. This was happening gradually before covid, but we've seen 20 years of change in ten months. I doubt that people will go back to their weekly big shop with a loaded trolley. Many department stores have closed. By the same token, many independent shops have actually thrived during the crisis. My local butcher and wine shop have had their best Xmas ever. I think people are waking up to the fact that whilst buying beans on line may be ok, if you want quality you need a local shop, run by someone who knows what they are doing and who can help and guide you. It would seem to me that such small businesses need help and encouragement and young people should be taught that running such and enterprise is a great thing to do. I see independents as the future for Londons high streets. This will need a whole change of the way we tax business though. It is ridiculous that a multi national pays no UK tax on sales of billions whilst the local butcher pays 10% of every sausage he sells to the taxman. 

As to the theatre and music sector. Theatres generate a huge mount of economic activity in London. As theatres have been shut, all of the pubs, pre theatre restaurants etc have taken a massive hit. I just hope that enough of these survive to make the West End viable. I suspect that once a degree of normality returns, then the the return of punters will bring the other business back. 

Grassroots music is likely to be hit far harder. Without the network of pubs and other venues, in the short term this seems likely to contract massively. It seems likely that in a years time, there will be a lot of empty properties and shut pubs and clubs.  It seems to me that  music will offer an opportunity to repurpose some of these. I've been promoting music for over 40 years. I know that music can make a venue a lot of money if done properly. This only works if you put the right music at the right venue in the right area. It is best done by local promoters who love the genre they are working in and have the network to get the best artists. I sincerely hope that a new generation of young people, willing to take risks, gets stuck into the empty properties and transform them into new venues. This was what happened in 1976/7 with the punk explosion with clubs like The Roxy. There is a saying that nature abhors a vacuum and I think that once landlords wake up to the fact that their properties are costing them money, this will start to happen. 

There is a big role for government, both local and national in all of this. For London to regenerate itself, government will need to ensure an environment exists where people wanting to open new businesses, transform offices into flats, regenerate pubs etc are not blocked by unhelpful rules, regulations, costs and paperwork. Government needs to make  it as simple as possible for people to open shops and businesses that improve areas. On the flip side of the coin, here in Barnet we've seen some absolutely awful, eyesore developments. These have been justified because there has been a shortage of housing. Sadly, when built, these blocks are not for locals or key workers and the developments add little to the local economy, as they are bought by offshore investors, who have no interest in the area. 

In short, if London is to re-invent itself, we need Londoners themselves to rebuild the city. We need to understand what a 21st century digital city should look like. We should ensure that there is good quality housing for key workers and all of the things that make living in London amazing are retained. We should try and make London a fairer and younger city. We should encourage start up firms to take on empty offices. We should educate our young people to think in terms of doing things for themselves. We should retain a cheap and efficient mass transport system, which is non polluting and safe. I believe that London will go through a very difficult period, but it will recover and come back better and stronger. Whether this happens in two year, ten years or twenty years, depends on the quality of our leadership, both local and national. When we elect these leaders, we should be asking what they plan to do about these issues, rather than voting like donkeys, based on the colour of a candidates rosette. I want to see people going into politics with CV's that show tangible achievements, rather than people who have been selected because they've inserted themselves into a talentless political bubble, where they are seen as loyal.
No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts: ,

Wednesday, 6 January 2021

Colin Bell - Englands finest ever footballer - RIP

Last night, we settled down to watch the Spurs vs Brentford League Cup semi final. Half way through, the commentary team started to talk about England and Manchester City legend Colin Bell. To my horror, this was how I learned that Colin Bell MBE had passed away. I am a Manchester City fan and like just about every City fan of my era, Colin Bell, the King of the Kippax was my favourite player. I started supporting City in 1968, the Joe Mercer and Malcolm Allison era. I was six years old. I think initially, I loved Bell because his mop of hair was a bit like mine. Bell was everything I wanted a football to be. I have never been a fan of over flashy players. I liked fast players who just got on with it.



Bell was known as Nijinsky, for his amazing stamina and athletic ability. He would breeze past opponents. You almost knew that when Bell got the ball at the half way line and started running, a goal was likely to follow. The era was very different. The pitches were rubbish and the full backs and centre backs were hard as nails. You would see them lung in on Bell, who more often than not would skip over the challenge and head straight for the box. If I had a Tardis, maybe the match I would most love to see was the Manchester derby at Old Trafford in 1968. City and United were neck and neck for the title. United had a team of legends. City had Bell, Summerbee and Lee. City coach, Malcolm Allison had hired a steeplejack to climb the roof and fly a City flag over Old Trafford. City won and only their second title made its way across Manchester. Whilst many hail George Best as the worlds greatest and most skilfull footballer, Bell was a completely different character. Where as Best was an individualist, who threw his talent away, Bell was a team player, who lit up every game, but was never flashy. 

Bell was also a very decent, humble and honest guy. His career was effectively ended by Manchester United's Martin Buchan, in a League cup game that City won 4-0. Bell always insisted it was an accident and that Buchan did nothing wrong. Sadly Bell played in the era before the big bucks, so didn't get the rewards that his efforts would have earned today.  He maintained his link with City and City named a stand after him when they moved to the Etihad. It seems ironic that the day after his passing, City once again play Utd in the League Cup, the fixture that effectively ended his career. I think Bell would approve of the style of play and especially his spiritual successor, Kevin Dd Bruyne, who is in many ways the heir to the throne of the King of the Kippax.

There is always a debate about how former greats would cope in the modern era. My view is that Colin Bell is one of the very few who would absolutely thrive. He was a natural footballer, with an amazing work ethic. Malcolm Allison was a progressive coach, who modernised the English game. Bell was the key to how he wanted City to play. Bell played on poor pitches, in an era of crunching tackles. He had good feet, an amazingly quick brain, was quick and had superb stamina. I am sure he would have had no problem adapting. I can only dream about how he may have fitted into Guardiola's team with De Bruyne and David Silver, but I suspect he would absolutely shine. Furthermore, the injuries that ended his career would have been fixed today and his career would undoubtedly have had more highlights.

I've seen many great players. Of the English players over the years, I've seen Bobby Moore, Glen Hoddle, Stanley Bowles, Paul Gascoigne, Bryan Robson, Kevin Keegan, to name a few. Great players all. But to me, none compare to Colin Bell.

We'll drink a drink a drink
To Colin the King the King the King
He's the leader of Man City
He's the greatest inside forward
That the world has ever seen

Colin Bell RIP and thanks for all of the memories



No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:

Tuesday, 5 January 2021

Now we are all in the Big Brother household!

 A strange thought occurred to me as I was tucking into my rather tasty lunch, made from the leftovers of my Sunday lunch. As  a blogger, I feel obliged to record the world we live  in through my eyes. The very best bloggers, ones that I enjoy most, write about the most mundane things, but point out angles that you'd never have thought of. To me a good blogger is like a prism on life. They take the bland white light of life and transform it into all of the colours of the rainbow. When I started writing this blog, there were many excellent bloggers, who's observations fascinated me. Many have given up, many have tired of the process and lost their spark. It is hard to keep up a blog and even harder to see new and interesting angles. If you try and force it, you end up with something rather dull and bland. My 'stream of consciousness' blogs really need a spark. Something to start the stream flowing. Today I felt very uninspired. I've spent the morning locking down the studios. It was a sad and very difficult time. The one thing that kept me positive was my plans for lunch. 

As I say down, I got to thinking of lockdown. It is a time of little inspiration. Not only that, but it's freezing cold, it's the middle of winter and I am stuck in the house with my wife and three adults children, all of whom are fed up to the teeth with being stuck. My eldest was meant to be in Mexico some time around now. My middle daughter wanted to do a TEFAL course and teach English in the Far East. My son has just started a degree at UCL. None are in a good place. Both my wife and myself have a busy calendar and miss seeing friends and getting out and about. This is now the third time we've been through this.

As I thought about the coming weeks, it occurred to me that for many of us, it is like being in a series of Big Brother. As I found the programme boring beyond belief, this is not a scenario I particularly savour. A friend of mine is one of the scouts who finds candidates for Big Brother and once suggested that I 'give it a go', assuring me that it would be a shoe in. The thought horrified me. I explained to her "There is nothing I'd less rather do than be stuck with a bunch of people I couldn't escape from, being dictated to and having my movements constrained and having to pretend to be having a good time". As I scoffed my tasty plate of leftovers, I realised that this is exactly how I feel about lockdown. We are cut off from friends, we have all manner of odd and arbitary rules. It seems to me that many of the rules are dreamed up by recently recruited graduates with little concept of adult life. Take for instance when Boris commanded the pubs to close at 10pm. Now if you are a student, new to alcohol and with abundant chances for sexual romps, then this may constrain you (although I always thought students would prefer a bottle of Thunderbird and a party back at the flat), but if you are an old bloke who likes to discuss dog racing with his mates in the Bridge, social distancing is something you've been doing for years. Blokes say hello but keep their distance. Hardened drinkers do not get touchy feely with each other in suburban  boozers on  a cold Tuesday night. 

With this new lockdown, even a swift pint in the Bridge at 7pm is banned. The reason? The same bunch who think banning a pint in the Bridge will halt a plague, didn't spot the fact that classrooms full of toddlers, with parents chatting away as they arrive and depart would act like a covid bomb. They only cancelled Christmas after everyone had made plans. I know many people who made their own rules, some of whom who now have covid. The sad truth is that people concluded long ago that Boris hadn't got a clue what he was doing and his army of teenage advisers even less. Whereas the Big Brother contestants wait for instructions from Big Brother, we await the conference from Boris. If we've been a 'good population' we get some easing. If we are naughty and the rate goes up, we get privileges removed. 

Just to make matters even worse, the government have been promoting a dry and vegan January. What could possibly be a worse time to get this message over. I eat semi vegan three or four days a week (by semi vegan, I mean that I avoid fish/meat/dairy but not totally religiously). It's not a hardship and by buying good quality free range meat from an independent butcher, I feel I am being responsible. Meat is a treat. Generally I have a fry up on a Saturday, a Roast on a Sunday and something with leftovers on a Monday. As Clare eats fish but not meat so Friday we have a seafood curry and maybe another fish dish or two in the week. This cycle gives me something to look forward to most days. I love a good homemade Penne Arrabiata, so that's no hardship. But if I had to remove the things I enjoy in a lockdown, it would be almost impossible. 

As to the dry January. I decided to not drink until the 14th. As  I don't drink for three days of the week, this has not been a hardship yet, but I suspect the weekend will be very hard. There is nothing more pleasant than a nice bottle of wine and a good film. I rarely watched Big Brother, but I have to say I don't like drinking in the company of people I don't like. There is always the temptation to tell people the truth, which is the worst thing you can say. It is interesting that we are brought up to believe that telling lies is a bad thing, but in my experience, telling the truth is what really hurts people. In my job, I often get played the most awful music by wannabe performers. They ask for advice. Sober, I will look for some element of what they've done that is positive and worthy of encouragement. If I was drunk, God knows what I'd say, but it would be very harsh truths and I'd I'd regret it. I recall about 20 years ago a young lady turning up for a rehearsal who had a very strong voice. She came into the shop and played a song to us. She'd just written it and wanted our 'professional ear'. On first play, she was a bit nervous, didn't play it well and didn't sing it too well. I didn't know what to say, so I said "Try it again but sing it like you really mean it and don't worry if you miss a chord on the guitar, don't be shy".  She did just that and our jaws nearly hit the floor. I simply said "If you can sing like that, you don't need to worry too much". That was Amy Winehouse. Whenever I hear an artist sounding a bit nervous, I think of that moment with Amy. You need to give people a chance. That is why you should never make and  important decision when you've had a drink. But we are in lockdown. Are we making any decisions for ourselves? Big brother is telling us who we can see, who we can't. Just suppose that two years ago, I'd have said to you "In two years time Boris Johnson will be PM and he'll ban you from seeing your mum, your dad and your girlfiend/boyfriend and you won't say a dickybird" You'd think I was bonkers. 

But that is just where we are. Big Brother was originally a creation of George Orwell, based on his opinion of repression in the Soviet Union. I wonder what he'd have made of the covid crisis. Don't get me wrong, I see little alternative to all of this. I am not a covid denier or a believer in a conspiracy theories. I am just thoroughly sick of it all and rather hope that people do things to do to secure us all an eviction from this horrible situation. 

No comments:

Monday, 4 January 2021

Be warned! I've got my mojo back

 How do you know when you've lost something really important? Perhaps only when you suddenly and unexpectedly find it again. And guess what? My mojo has suddenly and rather unexpectedly (for me) returned, and I'm not at all sure why. But I'm back and you know, I can really shake em down! (To quote The Contours from Do you love me)

Let me tell you the whole, sorry tale. Sadly I still can't dance, but yesterday, I felt 'normal' for the first time since some time in February 2018. Back then, we were in the middle of our campaign for the 2018 council elections. I can't remember the exact date, I didn't record it. I'd been out for a heavy night with some friends and woke up with a stinking hangover. I did what I always do, I went to the gym. Since 2011, when I was diagnose with Prostate cancer, I'd been going regularly to the gym. Two or three times a week, I'd row 10km, and would go hell for leather, doing this in around 37 minutes. The previous year, I'd hurt my knee and couldn't row. On this day, as part of my recovery, I decided to do 2km at full pelt, for the first time since my knee had recovered. I got to about1.2 km and suddenly got an absolutely blinding pain in my head and nearly fell off the machine. I immediately went and sat down. My head didn't feel right. I felt fuzzy. I went and sat in the Jacuzzi for a while and felt better but my head did not feel right. 

I then did something very stupid. I was terrified of letting down Richard and Donna who were my co-candidates. We'd put loads of work in. I knew I should go and get it checked out, but suspected that this may interfere with our campaign. I stupidly thought that our campaign was more important than my health. My only mitigation was that I wasn't thinking entirely straight. So I told no one. But everything seemed ten times as hard. I found that I had a degree of short term memory loss, not severe, but I'd walk into a room and couldn't remember why I'd gone in, or start to look at my phone and forget what I was supposed to be looking at.

I vowed that when the campaign was over, I'd get it checked out. By May, when the campaign finished, I felt a bit better, not normal, but far less fuzzy. I thought no more of it and decided that it was best ignored. I'd avoided all sport apart from football. In August, I decided to start exericising again. I was very cautious, but had no further strange experiences. After a couple of weeks, I decided to start to build up my regime. As I started to move into the peak heart rate zone, I started to feel weird and as if I was going to have the same experience. So I thought it was sensible to stop. AT this, I decided to see a specialist. I was convinced that there was something seriously wrong. I had a brain scan and a consultation with a top guy. Hey said there was no evidence of anything unusual. He advised me to avoid pushing myself too hard and come back if anything changes. 

Throughout 2019,  had no further problems. I avoided the gym, but played football and did a lot of dog walking. I was still bothered by the fact I felt a bit fuzzy. I also found myself not really feeling like doing anything. When I saw friends, I felt fairly detatched from the conversation. People would say things and by the time I'd thought of a riposte, things would have moved on. I am a bit deaf, so this was part of the problem, but I definitely had lost my sharpness. I found writing blogs more of a chore. I simply wasn't enjoying the process and I couldn't do the detail as I used to. I simply couldn't concentrate on the documents too long, especially long and boring ones. I found I was dreading band rehearsals (although enjoying them when I got there). It didn't get worse, but I generally felt far more negative than at any time since I was 13. I very much kept all of this to myself. 

At the end of 2019, we went away with friends for New Year. I was dreading it. I simply didn't want to be with a large group of people. To make matters worse, I started to feel ill. I had a temperature. I ached. I thought I may be getting lung cancer, as I had severe chest pains. I vowed that if the chest pains lasted more than 2 weeks, I'd go to see the doctor. Even more strangely, when our new years curry arrived, it tasted disgusting. Much to my irritation, all of my friends said it was lovely. I couldn't beleive that people who liked a beer and a curry could eat such slop and enjoy it. Every night I'd awake in a pool of sweat. I was completely lacking in energy. Whilst the worst of it passed by the time we returned, I felt totally wiped out until the start of March. I still did all of the things I needed to do, but it was all hard work. If I had those symptoms now, I may well have a covid test. As it is I am just one of the millions who think I've had it.

As March wore on and the weather improved, I started feeling OK again physically. But I still wasn't feeling right. As the year wore on, I found myself troubled by the fact that I simply didn't feel like doing anything. If I had to do something, I did it but with little enthusiasm. By September, we were at the height of the lifting of the lockdown. I still found myself lacking in energy. We took a couple of trips away. Whilst I thoroughly enjoyed these, I also felt demotivated towards doing anything. With the onset of winter and new restrictions, I thought my mood may worsen. 


However, much to my surprise, it didn't. There wasn't much to look forward to over Xmas and New year, but I found myself feeling more positive about it. As the news of the huge spike in Covid became clearer, I started taking multi vitamins, as I'd read that people with a vitamin D deficiency suffer worse symptoms. Christmas and New Year in our household is normally a boozy affair and this year was no different. As I wear a Fitbit, one interesting aspect is how much better my resting heart rate has been in the second half of the year. Clearly something has changed? Bear in mind we were locked down from March to June.

I should mention here my drinking habits. Last year I vowed to only drink on a maximum of 4 days a week. I'd stuck to this, apart from our holidays and managed this over Xmas. I also vowed to not drink for the first 14 days of January. I do feel that this has 'worked for me'.

 As my head cleared after the New Year, I noticed something strange. Walking back from the studio after my shift yesterday in the sunshine, I noticed a very odd thing. For the first time since February 2018, I had no mental fogginess at all and felt absolutely great. My back and my knees still hurt, but I felt positive and focussed. We had a new TV delivered yesterday, as our old one packed up. Setting it up was no chore, neither was taking the old one to the dump. Nor was cooking the Sunday dinner (roast duck). My mood was further improved by a superb performance by Manchester City against Chelsea. Another thing that was clear. Things that have been a constant irritation for a goodly time do not bother me. Whilst walking the dogs, my knees hurt like hell, but I simply ignored it. Even seeing Boris talking nonsense on the box didn't spark the stream of invective that it might have done.

Waking up this morning, I noted that the improvement had persisted. I had a look at the Multi vitamins my wife had bought. I'd not even bothered checking, but along with vitamin C and D, it also contained vitamin B12. This intrigued me. For years my mother had regular B12 injections, as she was deficient following her brush with cancer. When she had these, I'd notice an almost immediate and very noticeable improvement in her congnitive functions (especially after her stroke). I discussed this with her doctors several times (for some reason they would always try and persuade her not to have the injections). They totally dismissed it. But here I am, for the first time in nearly two years feeling normal. In short I've got my Mojo back. I am not medically qualified to give advice, but it is very noticeable. Is it to do with the B12 supplement? I don’t know, but if it works for me I will stick with it

 I told the whole story, so you can assess for yourself whether there is something else that I've missed. I suppose it is ironic that I've got my Mojo back when there is nothing to do, but hey ho. We were menat to go to the USA in September with friends. That didn't happen for obvious reasons, but I have found myself hoping that maybe we can do it in the Autumn, and seeing whether there are any gigs we can slip in en route. I've simply not been thinking like that. I genuinely feel that this will be a better year when we get over this blip.So keep safe and stick with it, for all our sakes.

No comments:

Sunday, 3 January 2021

The tweets of the week in the London Borough of Barnet 3rd January 2020

 So it's finally here. The Sun is shining. As it's the new year and I often get asked how I select these tweets, I thought I'd recap on the rules and the process. Firstly, as it's Sunday, the idea of the selection is to be a chilled and fun selection, we do the serious stuff during the rest of the week.  As the week goes on, I keep a note of all of the tweets which I found funny, made me laugh, made me cry, had some interesting historical data, have details of a local event or have some other local contents or link of interest. Before I collate the list, I then do a trawl throug of all the neighbourhoods, looking for other interesting tweets. Often people tag me or ping me to alert me to good stuff, which I also keep an eye on. I then pick the best ten. I try and get a mix, of events, history, pictures, local nature. If I've got too many I tend to give preference to new tweeter's I've not seen, if the sack is empty, I have a few trusty favourites.

I don't ever pick the following sort of stuff, as I find them boring beyond comprehension.

* Daily Mail retweets

* Conspiracy theories (unless there is a genuinely amusing local angle such as a UFO in Mill Hill Park)

* Posts from troll accounts

* Badly framed pictures that are local but have no artistic or informative value

* Tweets about Brexit (unless there is a direct local angle and the tweet is interesting enough to justify it)

* Tweets that overuse emoji's (they are irritating and people who overuse them are invariably dullards)

* Blatant politics, especially groups of people with 'Vote for Norman' style placards

* Bigotry, homophobia, sexism, racism or any other form of bullying or intimidation

* Activities and tweets from people who remind me of Jimmy Savile, if you know what I mean

Please note I will occasionally pick tweets from local councillors or politicians if they are doing a genuinely community activity that is not blatent electioneering.

So now you know the rules, here is our first selection from 2021 and damn fine it is too, even if I picked them myself.

1. We start with an absolutely amazing thread. This is one of those that I just happen upon doing my trawl of the neighbourhoods. I strongly advise you to check the whole thread. Be warned, we will be coming back to this on the blog


2. Another new account for us, with some great info about a Cricklewood street to set us on our way


3. This account may be in Staffordshire, but the subject is in Cricklewood and is the most glorious clip I've seen for a while. Yet another amazing tweet that needs further research. Happy new year to all our friends in Staffordshire, that's where my maternal Grandma came from, so I've always had a soft spot for the county


4. And on to one of our regulars, Mr Mark Amies, with a super tweet about the former rail depot in Montrose Park


5. I've always had a soft spot for the Belarus Church in Finchley. I have fond memories of attending my sisters wedding at the Orthodox Cathedral in Minsk in 1990. The people of Belarus have a soft spot in my heart, the KGB even mistook me for a "Beolarussian peasant drunk" on a train from Minsk to Vilnius once. Quite handy really, as I had no visa to travel. Lucky I'm a good actor!


6. As you know, we love live music, we love Stephens house and so how could we ignore this!


7. Being in Tier 4 there isn't too much going on, so make sure you support the stuff that is!


8. A local Mill Hill lad has been doing rather well in the Darts. His talents were refined at the Mill Hill Services club with Colin the Postman! Great stuff

 

9. Dr Julia Hines is a great friend of this blog, an esteemed guest blogger. We are pleased to see her mum has been given the vaccine. Whilst we are not the Brains of Britain here, Julia is rather clever and knows about this stuff. If she's letting her mum take the vaccine, then believe me, it is safe. I've alwasy found that listening to people who are clever and know what they are talking about saves a lot of bother, which is why I value Julia as a friend

 

10. Where else indeed????

 

 

That's all folks. Have a great week!

 


No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:

Saturday, 2 January 2021

The Saturday list #290 - Reasons to be cheerful (part 3)

 What better way to start the New Year series of Saturday Lists than with  an Ian Dury song, especially a classic. So I ask you, do you agree with Ian's list? I was thinking of other songs with lists. There's Paul Simon's 50 ways to leave your lover, which I want my money back for as he only lists 7. There's also Julie Andrews A few of my favourite things. It got me thinking, so I googled the subject of list songs. It seems there is a whole Wikipedia page of them, although I'm not altogether sure all of them are proper list songs. Although the Beach Boys California Girls has a list of various girls, I am not sure that is central to the song, for instance. I'd never even noticed that Kidney Bingos by Wire even had a list. Anyway I digress. It's a New Year and if you need a reason to be cheerful, really you only need a list with one entry and that is Ian Dury!


Reasons to be cheerful: part three
(One, two, three)
Some of Buddy Holly
The working folly
Good golly Miss Molly
And boats
Hammersmith Palais
The Bolshoi Ballet
Jump back in the alley
And nanny goats
Eighteen wheeler Scammells
Dominica camels
All other mammals
Plus equal votes
Seeing Piccadilly
Fanny Smith and Willy
Being rather silly
And porridge oats
A bit of grin and bear it
A bit of come and share it
Your welcome we can spare it
And yellow socks
Too short to be haughty
Too nutty to be naughty
Going on forty
No electric shocks
The juice of a carrot
The smile of a parrot
A little drop of claret
Anything that rocks
Elvis and Scotty
The days when I ain't spotty
Sitting on a potty
Curing smallpox
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
One, two, three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Health service glasses
Gigolos and brasses
Round or skinny bottoms
Take your mum to Paris
Lighting up a chalice
Wee Willy Harris
Bantu Steven Biko
Listening to Riko
Harpo, Groucho, Chico
Cheddar cheese and pickle
A Vincent motorcycle
Slap and tickle
Woody Allen, Dali
Dimitri and Pascale
Balla, balla, balla and Volare
Something nice to study
Phoning up a buddy
Being in my nuddy
Saying: okey-dokey
Singalong a smokey
Coming out a chokey
John Coltrane's soprano
Adie cello carno
Beuno colino
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
Yes, yes
Dear, dear
Perhaps next year
Or maybe even never
In which... case
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful one, two three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful part three
Reasons to be cheerful one, two, three


No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:

Friday, 1 January 2021

My predictions for 2021 and the Friday Joke

 Firstly,  Happy New Year, let me give you a prediction for New Years day 2022. I will either be laughing or crying hysterically. This is why. 



Secondly, as it's Friday, here's the Friday Joke. Clare and I last night seeing in the New Year!


As it's Friday, here's a Friday Joke

 

Many of you have, over the years, been mightily impressed by my powers of prediction. This year, I've decided to look forward to the coming year and see what it has in store for us.

January

We will shortly see the beginning of the roll out of the Astra Zeneca vaccine. Many of us are pinning our hopes of a return to normality on this. I predict that the ramp up of the vaccination program will initially be a fiasco with questions in the house. Given the governments inability to organise anything, I don't really think you need to be Mystic Meg to predict this.

We will also see the inauguration of President Joe Biden. I predict that Donald Trump will not go gracefully and we will not have heard the last of him when he walks out of the White House. Trump grants whisltleblower Edward Snowden and Julian Asange a Presidential pardon on his last day of office.

I predict that Republicans in the Senate and the House of Representatives will initially rally around Joe Biden, to show that they do care about the National interest, in a bid to beat Coronavirus and stop the economy tanking completely. I suspect Biden will have a very good first hundred days, with Donald Trump claiming it is all really down to him.

I also predict that by the end of January, we start to see far less complimentary headlines for Boris in the Daily Express and Mail, as the true nature of what he's negotiated becomes clear. I suspect that we will see Farage claiming that the chaos is all because Boris betrayed Brexit and stitched us all up and that the chaos is down to not having a hard Brexit. I suspect that facts will not support this.

February

By the end of February, we should see the fruits of the vaccination program starting to take hold, with a gradual easing back of restrictions. A return of crowds to football and us all to pubs and restaurants, albeit in limited numbers will be more than welcome. The national mood will start to improve. The papers will start to fill with stories of how Brexit is ruining businesses, problems for ex pats and stunted financial growth. I predict that President Macron will take great delight in whatever pain the UK suffers. I predict that Irish reunification will start to be seriously discussed as the DUP wake up to the fact that Great Britain has sold them down the river. As the Covid crisis improves, the SNP will step up pressure for a referendum to leave the UK. Within the Tory party, serious mutterings about the suitability of Boris as PM will start to emerge. When all the heavy lifting has been done with Covid and Brexit, the ambitious chancers will see the opportunity to steal the crown. 
March

As the vaccination program rolls on, things open up ever more. Live music starts to return, larger crowds start to appear at football matches. The chancellors mind turns to how we are to pay the overdraft we've run up. For a nation that has had the worst year in living memory, this is not welcome news. 

The governments postpones phase 2 of HS2 and calls for a major costs review. As the economy opens up, it is clear that the days of the High street as we know it are numbered. The people who have switched to online are not switching back. Our city centres are hollowed out as firms have realised that there is no point spending huge rents on offices when people can do the job at home. Rishi Sunak responds by bringing in new taxes on home working, in a desperate attempt to shore up the nations finances.

As the true cost starts to become apparent and the austerity ++++ measures become clear, any credibility that Rishi Sunak may have retained ebbs away. The questions as to how the Uk could have had the worst death rate and the worst economic damage in Europe start to hammer away at the government. With every day it becomes clearer that the Government needs a serious reboot. With the EU it is clear that the hastily signed and unscrutinised agreement needs a major overhaul as it is causing problems for both the EU and the UK. 

It seems that far from ending the arguments, Brexit has just split the UK and caused deep structural problems. Nigel Farage claims this is down to the lack of a proper Brexit, Kier Starmer claims it is down to a bad agreement and Ed Davey says that it is because Brexit was a bonkers idea in the first place.

April

The end of the pandemic is in sight. All of the vulnerable people in the UK have been innoculated. All of the key workers and schools, offices and public transport are declared safe to use. However the number of people commuting has declined. The London Mayoral Election looms amid total apathy. No one has any enthusiasm for Sadiq Khan and they have even less for Shaun Bailey. A Barnet Council by election in Edgware, formerly a safe Tory seat becomes interesting, as the decline of Edgware becomes a key factor. The rampant unpopularity of the Tory government looks set to deliver a massive upset.

May

To no ones great surprise, Sadiq Khan delivers a victory with a far smaller turnout than ever. The Tory candidate Shaun Bailey gets a comprehensive kicking coming fourth, as Londoners blame him for Brexit and the failures of the pandemic. The Tories come fourth in the Edgware by election behind the Lib Dems, Greens and Labour as a huge protest vote. It appears that Boris is living on borrowed time.

June

The UK and USA officially declare the pandemic beaten. Boris announces a 'Festival of Brexit' to celebrate, to widespread derision. Keir Starmer says the money should be spent rebuilding the NHS and Nigel Farage says that Brexit has been betrayed so there is nothing to celebrate. Ed Davey announces that Lib Dem policy will be for a referendum to rejoin as the economic figures show that Brexit has had a massive impact on UK GDP. Boris states that the impact is due to covid and Starmer claims it is down to Boris mismanaging everything.

July

Japan announces that the Olympics are being postponed, as a new vaccine resistant variant of Covid is identified and start to spread across the globe. Boris announces that Britain is well placed to develop a new vaccine to beat the virus because of Brexit. Everyones holiday plans are thrown into chaos as borders are closed and flights cancelled. Boris announces that the Festival of Brexit is being cancelled as a precaution.

 August

President Joe Biden announces that his 'Virus task force' has a new vaccine and we only need to wait three months before it can be deployed. The UK sees its first cases of the new strain of the virus, as Boris is criticised for not following the EU and closing borders. Boris reaches a record low popularity.

 September

Jeremy Hunt launches a leadership bid, stating that the Tories are finished if they don't appoint someone not tainted with the failures of the past year. Rishi Sunak throws his hat in to the ring, as Boris succumbs to the inevitable. As is the way with the Conservative party, the favourites are shafted and Elisabeth Truss takes over, largely on the basis that no one has a clue who she is, so they don't hate her yet.  Boris responds to his fall from grace by claiming French citizenship and moving to his Dad's chateau.

October

Elisabeth Truss flies to the USA to try and negotiate a trade deal. Joe Biden tells her that this can only be completed if the UK cedes Northern Ireland to the Republic. Truss agrees and Irish Nationalists everywhere celebrate. Truss claims that her action is only a practical recognition of what Boris had put into effect with the Brexit treaty.  The DUP announce that they will be seeking full independence for the North.

November

The UK enters lockdown as new cases of the mutant virus run rampant. Liz Truss announces that Xmas is cancelled as we will not have a vaccine until January. Keir Starmer announces that it is 'Groundhog Year' due to Tory mismanagement. Ed Davey bemoans the fact that the EU has slammed 500% export duties on the new vaccine to the UK, ensuring that we have no supplies, except for the mega rich who can afford it from private clinics. Liz Truss announces that this "levelling up in action".

December

Donald Trump launches his new TV channel, based in Moscow, where he has fled to avoid the FBI. On its first day, it reveals that the USA has been in constant contact with Aliens since 1947 and that Joe Biden is in fact an Alien. Trump reveals that the Chinese have also been in contact with the Aliens and it was the Aliens who distributed the virus to ensure he was not re-elected. 

In the UK, the Queen's speech is a rather different affair. Her majesty makes an unexpected live broadcast. She apologises to the nation for the total ineptitude of her government and announcing that she is abdicating as she's had enough of them all. Furthermore, she is taking up German citizenship, as she's of German ancestry and they seem to know what they are doing. Her parting shot is "I am leaving you lot in the hands of Charles and Camilla, God knows you deserve each other.


HAPPY NEW YEAR

P.S. I hope I am wrong about all of this. Here's a playlist to cheer you up


No comments:
Click on Labels for related posts:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)